The Joe Rogan Experience #12 - Joe Rogan

all right we live we live

this shit working Bam can we hear each other

should I shut myself off


damn hello welcome to my weekly podcast I’m solo

and shut the door so nobody interrupts us

Shazam I’m back

riding totally 100 solo this time

here to answer your questions

talk to you

see what the fuck’s going on

out there in the

wild world of Twitter

thank you everybody that

tuned in to the show we did yesterday on Serious

I did a show for an hour yesterday on Raw Dog

and I’m gonna try to do that more often cause it’s fun

and it’s just

it’s fun just to do even for a goof but it’s a

great way to

promote gigs and

you know get things cracking

not this weekend

as in tomorrow and Saturday and

Sunday but next weekend next Friday

not exactly

should a date I’ll be at Gotham I think it’s the 26th

what’s today’s date

7 days yeah the 26th

the 26th I’ll be at Gotham

for 2 shows in

New York City I don’t get to New York City very often

I only go there like once

every year and 1/2 2 years

and it’s already almost sold out so if

you want to get tickets you got to hop on that shit now

Gotham Comedy Club in New York City

you know how to use the Google Sun

I would throw up

links but if you really want to go you’ll figure it out

right so get

Eddie on my podcast I will definitely

Brian was supposed to be my lips are very

shiny today

Brian was supposed to be here

today for this one but he got held in traffic and

he’s getting

he’s getting boned by the IRS

he owe some back

taxes pay your

taxes bitches

that’s Uncle joe’s advice for the day pay your fucking

taxes the worst

thing is when the IRS

like signals you out

singles you out as a guy who’s not paying

taxes and then they just

crawl up your asshole and look around

the tax laws are so

gross the whole

thing is so gross

the idea that you have to pay such a

giant percentage

of what you make to do

to keep more people

arresting people

for buying pot to do what to fix the streets is that

where the fuck is the

money going god damn it

our machine is just too goddamn big

you know when you get to a certain amount of

money you get into a

48% tax bracket you know

that’s when

you have to pay half of what you make half

literally that’s crazy

and the crazy

thing is just

the people who make the more

money the more

money you make rather the higher percentage

you have to pay

so not only do you pay more

money just because you make more

money which seems

that seems rational to me

but the fact that you pay a higher percent

that’s just like saying

listen we know you got it fuck you give us the money

I mean it’s really that simple

it doesn’t make any

sense that someone who makes more money

somehow or another uses

a higher percentage of resources

that’s completely unfair it makes no sense but

people just accept

it they just accept it and just take it in the ass

and the machine

keeps rolling

on there will be no end

or will there

we’ll go to

first the twitter

to check it out the twitter feed that is on

the ustream page

which is you

stream dot TV channel

slash Joe Dash Rogan

live which will

that’s where you’re at

and then I also go to forums

Joe Rogan net that’s my website

and there’s

forum up there

dedicated to this particular

or rather a threat

dedicated to this

particular broadcast

and so I’ll answer some questions from there too you


pull out of Iran

afghan and you’d save a fortune yeah what is that

you know that’s a

I mean that’s a simple way of looking at it

right CMC Dermo 73

it’s a simple

way looking at everybody says pull out but

why the fuck are we there in the

first place like what is going on

you know I mean is it as simple as

you know we’re over there because we need to keep

these terrorists from becoming

strong we need to go and attack them at their base

okay if that was what was agreed

that that’s the reason why we’re there

but there’s a lot of people that say that

doesn’t make any sense

there’s a lot

of people that say there’s very few Taliban

that are actually left in Afghanistan that we have

other motives

and that these motives

might be the

natural gas pipeline that runs through Afghanistan

which everybody

apparently has been trying to

control for years or

they’re also very overlooked and

a subject that people like

they kind of poo poo

and they make it seem like it’s not that big a deal

is the opium market

Afghanistan produces

some 90 something percent of the entire

world’s opium

the entire world’s

Poppy sees the entire

world’s heroin

more than 90

of it is produced in Afghanistan

that’s fucking

crazy right

you hear about that you like that’s

there’s a lot of goddamn

money in heroin

there’s a lot of goddamn

money in opium

I mean if all of it is being produced

literally almost all of it in this one place like

someone’s making some fucking

money off that it’s not like

the US got in there and they stopped making heroin

no there’s more heroin now heroin

apparently you talk to people no

you know I know people do heroin

and they they say there’s more heroin

and it’s easier to get now

you know what the fuck man wait

what is really

going on then you find out that the President

of Afghanistan this is

absolute fact

president of Afghanistan his brother

was being paid

by the CIA for years

like our government dollars

were going to pay

the brother

of the president

of Afghanistan who’s in the

Poppy business

this guy is

involved in the opium

trade this guy is involved in the heroin

trade and he’s

an employee of the CIA

like really is it that blatant

is that obvious

there’s for sure there’s 1t

of fucking corruption

when it comes to the higher

levels of government

but are they really selling drugs

are they really doing it that openly

it seems ridiculous

right it seems like there’s no way that

could be possible

there’s no way it

could be that corrupt if it was we would have

heard about it

but when you

start researching the history of the CIA

like they’ve been accused of doing this forever

not just accused

of doing this but people who don’t make any sense like

crazy people and you know

internet conspiracy theorists but no they’ve been

accused of doing

it by people who used to work for the CIA

they’ve been accused of doing

it by people who’ve actually just flown in the drugs

there’s a great case

about a guy named

Barry Seals from Mina Arkansas

this guy used to

drive and fly into

Mina Arkansas

and drop off big packages of cocaine

I think we talked

about this before

I talked about this before and anyway

these 2 kids

inadvertently were there when the cocaine got dropped

they witnessed

what had happened

so they took

these kids and they murdered them

and they left their bodies on the train tracks

and the excuse the official excuse that the

police used was that these kids had gotten high

and that they had fallen asleep on the

plane tracks because they were on drugs

well the mothers

of the kids

forced autopsies the parents forced autopsies

they didn’t want to do autopsies but they forced

them and they got them done and it turns out that

these kids had been murdered

they had been

stabbed multiple times

before they had been put on these

train tracks

so then the investigation

goes further and it turns up this guy named

Barry Seals was a CIA employee

and there’s you know

documented this guy’s got a

great long history

with the CIA

there’s you know tons of

pictures there’s tons of

you know documentation on this guy and this guy

was flying in drugs from

South America

and that’s what he did he did it for the CIA

and right when he was

about to go testify the guy gets murdered

he gets assassinated

with George bush’s

phone number in his pocket

so there’s that guy there’s another guy

named Michael Rupert and Michael Rupert

has a website now and he’s got a bunch of books on

the whole situation but his

story is that he was working for the LAPD

I’m not sure if he worked in

narcotics but he’s involved somehow or another

in some narcotics case

and it turns out that the CIA was involved

and the CIA

was protecting

these people and the CIA was selling drugs and he

went to try to report it

they squashed

everything and he just went public with everything and

he gets very little attention I mean it’s really

shocking how little attention he gets

but he’s a fascinating dude

this Michael Rupert guy he’s got a couple

really fascinating books

I think the End of the Rubicon is one and

that’s the one I’ve read and there’s he’s got

he’s got a few other ones so basically like

going into great depth and detail all of his research

on the CIA and their involvement in drugs

why why would they do that why

would our government do that

fucking there’s a lot of goddamn money in it

I think they could justify that either so much money

involved in drugs and someone’s

gonna make that money people are addicted to drugs

like why don’t we make that money and at least that

money is being made by the good guys I mean that’s like

the most idealistic

point of view

make sure your kids don’t do drugs

make sure no one he loves

does drugs but let’s be honest

there are people out there that are

gonna do drugs and if anybody

should make the money it should be the good guys

I can see people falling for that

but the bottom line is

it’s all greed it’s all

this nasty evil

greed that’s the whole reason why some drugs are

legal and some drugs are illegal it’s because when

they make them illegal they can control what you do

bacon you can’t control

things that are really easy to grow like marijuana

it’s one of the main reasons why marijuana

is illegal is because it’s so goddamn easy to grow

you can just

plant seeds out in a

field that will grow on its own

you don’t even need to help it

I mean it’s a really hardy plant

and I know a lot of

morons that grow pot

and when you know it’s an easy

thing to do like that you can’t control that

you know they’re not

gonna be able to control it there’s

gonna be people selling it left and right

they’re not

gonna get taxes from that because people are just

gonna exchange cash or whatever the fuck they’re

gonna do with it

you’re not gonna be

able to wrap something up the way that you can wrap up

oxycontins or something like that

you know it’s very difficult to produce an oxycontin

you know they like that they don’t like heroin

heroin is just like what are you doing you’re

growing a plant

and then you’re

scraping some shit off the

plant and you’re selling

no stop that’s illegal

we won’t let you do that

but we will let you buy

these pills

that are basically the same goddamn

thing they’re just made by a

pharmaceutical company and they process it

and they make this orally

ingestible heroin

and that’s what

Oxycontin is

I mean it literally they call it hillbilly heroin

it’s fucking heroin

it really is heroin

you’re just eating it

you’re eating it in a pill form just like

Marinol is THC

in a pill form

that stuff’s supposed to suck

I’ve talked to people that say that

first of all

thc’s only one active element in marijuana there’s a

whole bunch of it’s way better to get the actual

stuff from the plant

you know I don’t know if that’s true with heroin

I’ve never done heroin

I’ve never done Marinol either

I wouldn’t do

heroin I’m scared of anything that’s addictive

but if I was a

musician I might

consider it I

might I might

snort a little

every now and then you know

write down once

today and never

again or something

try to convince myself that somehow or another I

wouldn’t be addicted I don’t know

how addictive it really is

I hear varying reports

know that the problem I have with whenever

someone talks

about things being addicted

and not being addicted is that

alcohol is addictive

you know people get addicted to alcohol

but I’m not addicted to it so I don’t get that

I mean I can

I could if someone told me

right now I

could never have another beer or another

glass of wine for the rest of my life I’d be like

okay I mean I

enjoy it I like

having a shot

every now and then with my friends just to get fucking

crazy a shot before a show is fun but

realistically it’s not that important

you know I don’t need it

it’s not really addictive to me

but to some people it is

okay is that the case with heroin

is that the case with

cigarettes seem

to be the one they’ve got the most wired

cigarettes seem to be the one they they can addict

the most people to

you know because there’s a lot

of people that don’t get addicted to the normal stuff

like there’s a lot of people that

drink coffee

and they drink it all the time but they can just quit

and doesn’t bother them at all

and there’s some people that they

if they don’t have coffee

every day they’re fucked

those people are addicted to caffeine

when I was writing my blog I was writing a

monthly blog

right before I recorded my

my Spike TV comedy special

I wanted to make sure I kept my

brain like real sharp

and I said well the best

way to do that is to perform as much as I can but also

write as much as I can so I forced myself

into writing

a blog every day for a

whole month and

when I did that you know I was

drinking a lot of coffee

and I was drinking French

press coffee

where it’s like it’s really fucking strong

you know and I make it

strong too I like it I like a

strong cup of coffee

but the problem is I was

drinking this shit like 2

3 cups a day

and then I did it like

30 days in a row

and there’s one

point in time

where I didn’t

drink it for a day and I had a headache

and it was like oh

like my brain was

getting accustomed

to having all these

stimulants in it

and I realized okay this is not good I

gotta stop that shit

lately I’ve been

drinking tea

Brian turned me out to this thing

this is like this

you put the tea

leaves in there and then you put the

water in there

and you can it like

you don’t have to like have a tea bag you get like

fresh tea leaves taste good

it’s just like I Sometimes I need something warm to

drink it’s like

it’s just like

like my friend

Tate he says the best he said

coffee is like a warm hug

but I got addicted to coffee

but I mean I was only addicted for a couple days

a couple days I’m not

drinking it just

drinking water and

everything is back to normal

again luckily

but this is 30 days in a row

not 30 years in a row you know I couldn’t imagine that

but cigarettes

seem to be the one that they’ve got the

most nailed as to how to just get you fucking hooked

you know um

there’s a an

article that I read recently

where they were discussing

all the different additives that the government

allows them to put into cigarettes

and there’s 599 of them

how fucking nuts is that

there’s 599 different chemicals

and you look at them

unless you’re some sort of a

pharma chemist

sort of a character you’re not

gonna have any idea what the fuck they are

and there’s

599 of them in cigarettes

I’d say was just supposed to be fucking tobacco

like what the fuck is

going on what is that

I mean is it a preserve

are they preservatives is it

is it like that

Russell Crowe

movie The Insider

is all that

shit actually designed to make it more addictive

it’s one of the most damning

things I think

about politicians is that they

never talk about

cigarettes you know

they always want to talk

about the ill

you know the

bad drugs out there and you know this terrible

thing that can

happen if your kids get involved in drugs but

nobody wants to ban

cigarettes like nobody ever says that

and it’s because

those fucking tobacco companies

spend a bankroll

they spend a fuckload of money

all right what else

let me go to the questions here

there’s a lot of questions and they keep moving fast

and I’m a rambling motherfucker

Joe wear a different

color shirt in the UFC broadcast next time no

no I like wearing black shirts

and I get them for free

I get clothes from Affliction for free

send me some cool shit

so that I don’t make fun of them anymore

I like their stuff I like some of their stuff

there’s there was some

Scully stuff that was just a little too Scully

and flaming for me

but I got a pair of the dragon jeans

they got dope leather jackets too

and I like their

the Japanese styled stuff they had all that

I forget the man’s name

tattoo artist designed a bunch of

t shirts for them that were really fucking cool

like right up my alley like

tiger versus samurai type

stuff I got a bunch of those I love those

but apparently that that guy

he was selling his same designs to a couple different

t shirt companies they had to

get rid of them because it’s

some sort of a copyright

lawsuit thing going on

affliction crows are fucking brutal

ed Hardy is the most brutal to me

ed Hardy should assassinate John from John K 8

because that guy single handedly

made Ed Hardy

shirts like that is just like that’s the gold

stamp bang douchebag

like when that guy started wearing it everywhere

like I think Ed Hardy was probably paying him

but little did they know that

that just put the fucking the Douche

label on the Ed Hardy

there’s a chick that’s a

one of the morning DJs in Denver

her name is Missy

and she calls them douche capes

which is the perfect way to describe them douche caves

okay I’m

glad you guys liked the Raw dog show that was fun

that was real fun am I coming to Australia anytime

again soon I’ll be in Australia next time the

UFC is gonna be there

I really can’t fly over there

just to fly over there

I don’t have the time

it’s too long 16 fucking hours in the air

I enjoyed the shit out of it though I had a

great goddamn time

that strongest man dude that’s gonna fight Tim Sylvia

Aaron Davies

ask me a question

there’s this guy Pujanowski he’s like one of the

he won strongman competition like many times and he’s

scheduled to fight Tim

Sylvia who’s a former UFC Heavyweight Champion

I’m looking that fight and everybody’s like

going oh I want to see this fight this is a

great fight is a great fight like

Tim said we can fight

like just kids ray Mercer knocked him out just cuz

like he’s lost to a couple different guys like Fade or

there’s a big goddamn difference between

losing the Fade or and losing to a guy’s had one fight

and he’s really good at lifting shit

that guy’s gonna get his ass handed to him if

Tim Sylvia loses that

fight there’s something

wrong he’s got something

wrong with him and he probably shouldn’t

fight anymore

I think Tim

Sylvia should be able to keep that dude at bay

I mean all he is is big and strong

I mean I just cannot see a world

where Tim Sylvia

doesn’t bomb on that guy as he’s coming in

you know I mean I

could be wrong

he could just get

completely overwhelmed

by the power but

technique is more important than

power and fighting

and if one guy I mean

you can hate on Tim

Sylvia all you want the guy was the

UFC Heavyweight

Champion and he wasn’t because he sucked

go watch his

fight with Rico Rodriguez

you know watch

watch some of his

fights you know

watch when he head kicked

Trey Teligman

he’s fucking dangerous man Tim Sylvia

is one of the most

underrated and

underlook guys yeah he got

knocked out by Ray Mercer

but guess what

ray Mercer connects on your head like that everyone’s

going out he

definitely fucked up and he

definitely didn’t

fight smart in that

fight without a doubt

but you can’t

write him off just because of one performance he’s

still accomplished a lot of dangerous

shit he’s always been a sucker for that overhand

right that’s what

I shouldn’t say

a sucker but he’s getting hit gotten hit with it before

Randy Couture

dropped him with it

that’s where Alowski hit him with

and that’s also

obviously what Ray Mercer hit him with you know

he’s got a lazy jab they said

but I think

that Pujinowski guy

is like wow

you’re jumping into the deep end of the pool son

you know Tim

Sylvia is not that old Tim Sylvia

has had some

tough fights but

not that much

no I think that’s

gonna be a real

tough fight for that Pujnaski guy I

could be wrong

I could be wrong

he might do

those running fucking leg kicks like he did to that

other dude we just

basically ran out like a bull

but that other guy

comparing him to Tim

Sylvia it’s just ridiculous

he’s smaller

he’s not as nearly as experienced he’s just a boxer

I mean there’s so many differences between

the first guy you fought and

fighting the UFC


champ that’s fucking

that’s pretty

crazy he might not even get to him because he’s got a

fight in between then he’s got a fight

before that I think in

April he’s fighting

someone else and then he’s

gonna fight Tim

Sylvia right

after that he

might not beat that guy that he’s

fighting April

I mean if a guy knows how to

fight it’s a

just a big goddamn difference between a guy who’s just

strong he’s

gonna leave openings man

you know if he

leaves opening someone’s

gonna catch him

and if someone’s

gonna catch him he can’t put muscles in your face and

you know I mean I don’t know exactly what kind of a

background he has in

fighting other than being

super strong but

didn’t look like much he looked real stiff

I mean once he hits you if he gets a hold of you

starts hitting him

you’re fucked but

it’s all that before he gets a hold of you

stuff that’s like it’s all

herky jerky

all muscle no technique

it’s I think it’s

gonna be interesting

but when you’re a guy’s that

strong let’s do a

learn a few techniques get them really good and fuck

I mean you’re talking

about a guy that

literally is the one of the

strongest men

to walk the planet

you know if you could

teach that guy

teach that guy some some

solid wrestling

teach that guy like it just a good amount

you know just a few moves

just teach them how to keep his hands up

close the distance

teach them some take downs and

teach them to get on top of dudes and just

smush their fucking head

you know a guy like that if you

taught him some shit

he would only need a few

things just because he’s so goddamn

strong a few

things he would be able to beat a lot of guys

but Tim Sylvia

who I don’t know

about that son

I don’t know

about that son

let’s see what else we got here

I watched a video today of a dude who

cut his fucking balls off

the dude somebody posted it on my message board and

this guy it says something crazy Ozzy man or deranged

Ozzy man that’s the thread cuts his balls off

this guy tied

a rubber band around his balls

until his balls

like literally died

like they turned like like dead and gray

and then he hacked his balls off with a knife

really do you

want to see it if you want to see it you know what I’ll

throw the link

I just let everybody know that it’s fucking

completely disgusting there’s no way you

should really be

watching this

but if you want to

I will copy the link

and I’m gonna post it on twitter

and I’m gonna say do not watch this


I just posted on Twitter

don’t watch it

you don’t need to unless

unless someone has done you wrong unless you’re unless

maybe Sandra Bullock is out there Sandra

I know that you’ve had some tough times recently

and I saw recently

online the photos

of this young lady that

Jesse James allegedly has had an affair with and

you might want to watch the video

of the guy cutting his

balls off the rest of you know but this is a message to

Sandra both

you need to know sweetie

that there’s a

broad spectrum

to human beings and

human behavior and it’s

you know life isn’t

what you see at the

craft service

table when everyone’s kissing your ass on the set

there’s a lot of

crazy shit out there

and this crazy

fucking skank

with a tattoo on her forehead

fucked your husband

it’s a mad world it’s a

fucking mad world

if you looked at Sandra Bullock

and you looked at Jesse James

you know you’d say well you know he’s a

rough fucking

handsome character and she’s a beautiful

woman and they make great couple

and I showed you this

freak with the tattooed on her head

this this crazy bitch that he’s apparently been banging

and I said what would the odds you think that he would

cheat on her for her

going what the fuck is that

no he’s Jesse

James right this guy’s a fucking TV star he’s

married to Sandra Bullock he’s not

gonna fuck this crazy bitch with a tattoo on her head

but yeah he did

and why did

he do it because people are fucking deranged people are

crazy they can’t help themselves

they’re looking

for something

to fucking just just to blow energy out somehow

just what are they gonna do

do some drugs

cheat on their wife

drive too fast

get a motorcycle

what the fuck are they

gonna do you know if you read

Tiger woods’s

stuff and I can’t fucking help it

some new scan came out with all his twitters

are not not as

twitter as text messages that he sent to her I’m like

first of all

what kind of a relationship did he have with

these girls that they would

wanna put his

like did even

or was even friends with them

it seems like

these girls like

don’t even like

they didn’t even talk to him

it seems like you know like it was this this

thing was just all fucking

and because of that I

think they were like

they felt slighted

and that’s what I’m

getting out of this I’m getting that they felt slighted

you know that here’s this guy with like the most

squeaky clean

image in the

world and this

image is what he used to make 1t of money

and you know he’s like a

super successful guy

at the most you know like lucrative

sport in the

world and the

sport the most connected to

money to big businesses to

mean so many

like it’s so important

to be like the best golfer ever oh my God it’s just

such a huge

thing like to

market and sell that and so here was this guy

and meanwhile he’s just a

dirty bitch

just talking

about taking it out of their ass

stuff it in

their mouth like

that was in his text like this

motherfucker was

crazy you know

it’s it’s pretty

clear that it’s

it’s more than just

oh you know he

thought he could get away with it

oh you know he’s just a man and men are

no no no no he was

deranged all

right people are crazy

he was getting a wild thrill

from doing this

that he wasn’t supposed to be doing

it was all like naughty shit he wanted to piss on girls

he was saying I want to give you a golden shower

but the crazy thing is

Tiger Woods was sent attacks I want to

stuck my cock in your ass

then put in your

mouth like whoa

tiger whoa like

man if you’re

gonna send a text like that to someone you

gotta make sure that that person’s your friend

you know I’m saying

you can’t just

if you’re fucking

Tiger Woods

you can’t just go send and text like that to people

you know you

gotta go hey um if I

sent you a text and it’s really

crazy will you promise me that you won’t sell this

later you gotta say something

you can just

just fucking free ball like that tiger

just tiger was have any fucking friends

cause I feel like if he had any friends they were

going dude what are you doing

like you’re banging waitresses and people are watching

you know like you

gotta you gotta take it down a notch

you know you know get

you know get a hooker who has something to lose

but who has something to lose in

comparison to him though nobody

if you’re a guy like that you can really

never trust anybody

you know if that’s what you’re doing if you’re

a wild guy that likes to

cheat on your wife and you’re a fucking billionaire

super squeaky

clean character

who the fuck can you trust

like that guy

man what a predicament

he would have to go somewhere

where they didn’t know who he was

he’d have to go to like Malaysia to

cheat poor fella

poor fella

what do I think of James Tony

I’m disturbed by James Tony

his recent speeches

you know oh

I don’t know

what’s going on with him physically

you know I don’t know I mean I

guess he wants to fight heavyweight

I’ve heard that he says he wants to fight Brock Lesnar

if that’s the case I

think maybe the best thing to

do to get this over with is just give him Brock Lesnar

you know I mean if

James Tony loses to somebody

the way I look at it is like

James Tony obviously

all the respect in the

world as a boxer all time

really one of the

craftiest guys to come

along in decades

and a guy who really utilized that old

Archie Moore shoulders

shoulder roll

style like had a real

classic old

timers boxing

style like real good at

like rolling with

punches then coming back like his counter

right hands

against John Ruiz

there’s like a YouTube

clip of them like you see how beautiful his timing was

and like when

he just destroyed a Vander Holyfield in in their

fight man he’s a SO

he’s so skillful as a boxer very very

skillful but

there’s so much more to MMA

than just boxing and I’m not hearing

about him going to American Top Team

I’m not hearing about him

going to Team Quest

I’m not hearing

about him going to

you know to like high

level camps

to work with big

wrestlers they’re

gonna try to take him down because

otherwise I’m hearing him say

he’s gonna fight Brock

Lesnar I’m hearing

one of 2 things

I’m either hearing he

doesn’t give a fuck he’s just here to get paid

or I’m hearing

he is crazy

and he thinks that he’s

gonna be able to stop Brock

Lesnar from taking him down

by hitting him with a punch

either one is not

good because one of them means he’s delusional that he

doesn’t really

understand what this is all

about and the

other one means that he’s just

guy was looking for money

either one is not that good

I don’t know you know

I don’t know

boxing is a

tough goddamn game

and when you’ve been in it as long as

James Tony has

even though he

doesn’t take that much punishment

you know you got

you got to realize

these guys at a certain

point time and

you know they only have

you only have a certain amount more

punches you can take you know

at a certain

there’s a finite number and

after that number you’re fucked

you know and I think

the thing with

James Tony is he has

this incredible

confidence in his hands

and he really

truly believes that if

a guy like Brock Lesnar

tries to take him down

that he’s going to be able to connect and with

those little

gloves he’s

going to put him to sleep

I think it looks a lot easier than it is that’s what I

think I think if he starts training

with high level guys

he goes and you know work out with

King Mo work out with some like high

level wrestlers and see how easy it is for

those guys to take you down

you think you’re just

going to catch it with an uppercut

you can’t throw punches the same way

when you’re worried about a guy taking you down

the timing is not the same

you can’t stand the same way

if you stand the same way they’re going to

kick your legs out

and they’re going to take you down easy

so you have to change your stance

so you now have to change your

stance as a boxer

you have to constantly be thinking about sprawling

constantly be

thinking about getting your under hook set

it’s not the same sport it’s not

the punching ability that he has

is a huge plus

and it’ll definitely if anybody

stupid enough to not try to take him down

and just box with him

you’re gonna get your clock cleaned

you know for sure he’s gonna hit you with some precise

counter punches

he’s gonna take advantage of little tiny

minute openings

because really he’s such a high

level boxer we don’t see that high level

striker in the octagon he can make a guy look foolish

if somebody chose

some crazy boxer

you know in the

UFC a guy who’s got good hands

chose to try to

stand up just stand up with James Tony

he would make them look like a fool

he really would

really demoralized that he would talk shit to them

he would he would

start to what

bitch what bitch want some more this bitch boom

and he would keep just land and

punches on you he will fuck your world up

but I don’t

think they’re gonna do that I think guys are

gonna do one or 2

things they’re

gonna kick the living fuck out of his legs

or they’re just

gonna take him down

and I don’t think he’s

gonna stop that

I don’t think he’s

gonna stop that

I don’t think you know

if he got like

a big jiu jitsu guy gets all of them like a like

like Nepal Gabriel Gonzaga

Gabriel Gonzaga got a Holy

Jesus Christ

he might just start

breaking pieces of them off

you know and if

God help him if Brock

Lesnar wants to take him down

you can’t you can’t just

catch that guy with a punch

that’s not enough okay

that’s enough for your average regular human

Brock Lesnar

that’s a freak of a man

that’s like

the high end of the genetic spectrum

where you like you

know you can have a dude who looks like Ichabod Crane

you know you

could have a dude who looks like you know

like who is

Olive oil in that Popeye

movie what’s that

bitch’s name

bitches I’m so mean Shelly something another

whatever her name is real just think of

Lindsay Lohan

you can have a Lindsay Lohan

frame you know

a Paris Hilton

frame a little

skinny body or

you have the high end

you have Brock

was there some

weird instance

where you know Vikings fucked Vikings for

generation after

generation and

their warrior

bloodlines were passed on

and this motherfucker living in the woods in Minnesota

you know he

got the best of the best fucking head is that big

you know I mean that guy for sure has good

wrestling for sure works very hard on his technique

and all that’s well and good

but at the end of the day that

motherfucker is a barbarian

the reason why he’s so fucking good

he is a direct descendants

from ancient

giant warriors from thousands of years ago

that ain’t a regular dude man you ain’t

gonna just be able to

punch that guy and send him home packing

he’s gonna eat your

punch and he’s

gonna pick you up in the air like you’re a pillow

and you’re gonna feel

so bad you’re

gonna feel terrible

the feeling that you’re

gonna have of helplessness

and hopelessness

when that fucking gorilla

grabs a hold of you and yanks you up in the air and

smashes you and then gets on top of you

and starts boom boom

those big fucking

lunch box fists

that’s a wrap son

you’re done

okay you’re not

you’re not gonna jab and

shoulder roll your way away from Brock

Lesnar he’s gonna

fuck you he’s

gonna do whatever he wants to you

he’s gonna have you work for him you’re

gonna own him

he’s gonna be he’s

gonna be your master he’s

gonna put a dog collar on you

he’s gonna do whatever the fuck he wants do you not

understand that

like that guy can do whatever he wants to you

if we didn’t live

in this civilized culture

thousands years ago everyone that Brog Lesnar

fought would be

chained up in his yard they

would work for him

and they would just hope and pray that Brock

doesn’t get

angry and decide to fuck you up today

you know that’s

that’s a scary dude man

you know is he the best guy in the

world I don’t know he’s

gotta fight Fade

or he’s gotta fight

Shane Carwin you know

we gotta see what happens we

gotta see what happens with fucking Kane

Velasquez Kane

Velasquez is a

motherfucker whoa

that guy’s frighteningly talented

frighteningly talented and frighteningly

dedicated you know incredible technique too and

everything he does

his punches his takedowns his kicks

everything is perfect technique there’s no fluff in

his technique there’s no fat

you know there’s no like excess movement

like the way he

throws leg kicks goddamn beautiful

just perfect technique

the way he throws

punches same thing

everything is perfect technique

his endurance is like

second to none

you know I’m super

super impressed with Kane

Velasquez I

think he’s just amazing

you know the big question is

does all that amazing cardio

and technique

and discipline

does that make up for the

Great White Warrior

you know does it make up for that big fucking

freak of a monster like Brock Lesnar

you know that’s an

angry motherfucker dude

when a dude beats your ass like you did to Frank Mir

and then still

get to the fucking camera

start screaming fuck yeah

fucking he’s

screaming and spits coming out of his

mouth and his

mouthpiece is falling out you like what the fuck

you just beat his ass and you’re still mad

and then he gets in

Frank mirror’s face you fucking talking shit and

like whoa like that’s

that is a guy who’s got a lot of pent up shit

I mean when you’re

290 fucking plus

pounds of muscle

and your body’s

covered with

swords he’s got like

swords and skulls

and death it’s all like axes and

swords and destruction

it actually says kill em all on his

lower back he’s got

a like a tramp

stamp that says kill

em all em all

whoa who’s that there for

it’s a scary fucking dude man that’s a real

angry motherfucker

and it’s real interesting to see

you know I would love to I really want to see him

versus Phaidor that is

a very very intriguing

fight to me because

they represent such

polar opposites

in Phaidor you have a guy that’s you know a relatively

small heavyweight

he’s just about 6ft tall

he weighs about 230

and he’s got a considerable amount of fat on them

I mean I would say like probably at least 20

pounds of fat like he’s got a lot of jiggly fat

he doesn’t try to lose weight at all

you know he just says I’m a

heavy weight this is it this is what I

weigh I’m gonna fight as a heavy weight

you know there’s a

broad contrast between him his personality

you know he’s very

stoic you you never see any expression out of him

I mean everybody

like comments on the fact that the dude like

never seems angry

never makes a mean face

never seems hurt

no matter if he’s cut or no matter

if he’s got the guy hurt and he’s finishing him off

he’s just got this dead expression

whereas Brock

Lesnar is gigantic

has to cut weight to make 265

he’s a guy who you know

is at the very top of the weight

class and he’s a guy who is just

flooded with emotion

flooded with anger

flooded with

expression I mean he wears

he is you know one of

those no nonsense

motherfuckers he wears who he is out on his sleeve

you know and he likes to talk a little shit and he gets

angry at people and he likes to

swear and you

know I mean he’s a

he likes to

stick the bird out the audience and

you know when they boom fuck you you know

he’s a totally different dude

I’d be very curious to see

those 2 approaches and see

which one would

ultimately prevail

because it’s really not

I mean it is fair but

it’s not fair because Brock is so much goddamn bigger

Brock is a lean 265

and when he’s

265 he’s cutting a little weight to get down there

you know he’ll drop some

water weight like

maybe 10 15 pounds

you know to get down so he’s inflated

you know well up

to like 280 by the time he actually gets in the octagon

you know just

solid as a fucking

house at 280

whereas Phaidor

you know at 230 that’s 50

pounds less is not nearly a solid

you know Phaidor

at 230 is you know he’s jiggly

you know it

doesn’t matter if

he connects to your face you know he’s a badass puncher

his jiu jitsu

is fantastic his grappling is fantastic he’s

great off of his back but

there’s a that’s a big difference man

you know when all

things are equal

and I’m not saying they are

skill wise because I do not believe they are I

think Phaidor is more

skillful and has more options to win the fight

but Brock is so fucking big

he’s so much bigger when you’re talking

about £50 of

bone and muscle

50 fucking pounds

that’s a significant advantage

and then on

top of that you’re dealing with a guy who’s this

freak athlete

you know it’s not just that he’s big

like big and lumbering like they’ve had guys that were

big and lumbering dudes that have fought in MMA

before they were

never like this


the way Brock moves he moves like a

light guy even though he’s a

giant guy he’s

a freak athlete you know

I mean he really is the descendants

of some fucking

crazy warrior tribe

and that’s why he’s got all this

angry energy to him that shit’s genetic

a lot of it gotta be

so that’s my answer that question

all right that was the going off of the

you stream shit so I’m gonna go to the

Joe Rogan net forum

we’ll see what kind of questions we got up in that

bitch we got 2 pages of questions

and a lot of them are joke questions

jokey jokey joke let’s say

Bebe Jones says hey Joe what do you know

is that a rhetorical question

I know I know I know not enough my friend

I know not enough nor do any of us that is the great

unfortunate truth

I say yeah how do you feel

about the Pope

knowing that child sex abuse was going on

and he didn’t say anything

about it when he was a priest in Germany

I think they’re all fucking freaks

I think there’s only one way you can be a guy who

dedicates your entire life to not having sex

the only way is your sexual deviant

there’s something wrong with you

I don’t I don’t believe there’s any priest

that aren’t really completely fucked up I

think it’s one of the craziest ways

that anyone could ever make

make a living get through life

it doesn’t make any sense to me

you’re a what you’re a fucking priest

so wait a minute

you get to a different heaven than the people that get

pussy and get to have a good time

no you get to the same heaven

so by doing what

you do what everybody has to listen to you and give you

money and you get to fuck the kids

like what is that about

it doesn’t make

any sense because

it totally goes

against what the idea religion

should be all

about religion

should be all about

it’s like god’s

Word to everyone and how to live your life

how come these guys that

spread god’s Word they don’t get to have sex

what’s that about

why why do they

why are they so fucked up

I’ll tell you why

because initially preset

too much goddamn

power you know

a long time ago priests were allowed to have sex

but the problem was they were fucking everyone

because those are the guys that were in charge of God

those were the guys that were talking to God

those were the guys that were

they were at the

front of the fucking guideline

they had the Willy Wonka golden ticket

and they were reading the word of God

and in a village

you know of

several hundred people the guy who’s the fucking priest

who speaks the word of God

and has to console all these

women and you know

maybe these

women are with husbands that you know are

tired of fucking them

and this priest

would love to

take step in and take some of that what’s up

I’ll give you some God knowledge now give me some head

and that shit was

going on left and

right and that’s why priests can’t fuck

the reason why

priests aren’t allowed to fuck is because

they were fucking everybody

so then well who the hell wants to be priest

if you can’t fuck

you know once

they told them they couldn’t fuck anymore what they did

well they probably some of them probably kept fucking

and said yeah yeah I’ll stop

and they kept banging people then they got caught they

probably got flogged or something terrible like that

and so then they really

cracked down and made sure

that the priests are not allowed to have sex anymore

well once they

started doing that then

the only people that want to be priests were either

gays who could be with

other priests and they just like keep it on the

sneak sneak

and bag each

other or pedophiles

because they had access to all

these children

these children had to listen to

the overwhelming amount

I mean just

it hurts your head

to think about how many fucking kids

have been sexually abused by the Catholic Church

I mean it really hurts your head

it really hurts

to think that all

these people are so

blinded by a fucking fairy tale

that they’re willing to let some criminal

some monster

fuck their kids

after all these years

the fact that that is

still going on that is

mind boggling

it is mind boggling

that we pay any

attention to this fucking silly cult

and no one can say this no politician can say this

because for sure

no one’s gonna vote for you

have you come

out and say this is nonsense and if there is a God

for sure these are not his words

this is the word of man

how the I mean

if you just

analyze religion I mean just as

I mean let’s

let’s say that once upon a time it was word of the word

of God who the fuck knows I don’t know you don’t know

I mean if there really is a God I always said I’ve done

things that

were so much crazier than the stories that people tell

about heaven

when you smoke the

MT and you’ve

communicated in another dimension

with beings that are made out of love and

understanding and they’re

super knowledgeable they know everything

about life and

everything about you

when you’ve seen something like that

and someone

wants to talk to you and tell you that they’ve seen

a guy in the

cloud with a harp

who are you to tell him that he’s full of shit

you’re talking

about something

that you’ve actually experienced that

I’ve actually experienced that’s way more fucking crazy

than angels with wings and a dude in a

clouds with a big book of who gets in and who doesn’t

that’s way less

crazy than the

things that I’ve actually experienced

and this thing that

you actually

experience when you die this DMT

is stuff that

when you die

this is what your

brain produces when you’re in heavy REM

sleep this is what your

brain produces a natural

part of human


and it lets you see something way crazier than what

these religious people are talking about

so who am I to say that there’s no God

that maybe there is a fucking village in the

clouds maybe it’s all true

but just studying

the actual words

if you know the history of how the

Bible was made the

ancient Hebrew which

would be the original Old Testament was written in

the original

Bible written in ancient Hebrew was

that to this day they only know

3 out of 4 of

those words

to this day

like today 25

of the words in ancient Hebrew they’re like

who the fuck knows

not only that there was no numbers in ancient Hebrew

letters doubled as numbers

so like the letter A

was also the number one

and there was numerical

value to words

that is completely lost in the

translation to

Greek and to Latin like

the word love and the word god

have the same

numerical value

and this numerical

value the value of

these words

it was very important to the

translation of

what it was meant

all that is missing

when they translated

that and then eventually to English all that’s missing

and then you got the New Testament

which is just

complete wackiness because


who wasn’t even a fucking Christian created this

and this is just

clearly a ploy to try to control people

Constantine got together with a

bunch of bishops and they

wrote it all out

and there’s

stuff that they left in and

stuff that they took out

so the New Testament

which is literally made hundreds of years

after Christ was supposed to be dead

who the fuck knows what that’s all

about who knows

but all you need to know is the guy even

wrote it wasn’t even a Christian

delete like

right before he died he converted I believe

and you know

it was very

clear Constantine

wanted he was an

emperor he wanted to control people

and that’s what

it’s best at it’s so good at controlling

people that you’ll let pedophiles fuck your kids

because they have the fucking

the magic Fairy Tale

golden ticket it’s

mind boggling

it’s mind boggling that this

goofy fuck in a

crazy outfit this cult leader

gets special

treatment they’ll make fun of the Moonies

they’ll make fun of


but the fucking

Pope on TV somehow another gets to be national news

this crazy fuck who’s

not allowed to have sex who hangs out with a bunch of

crazy fucks

who aren’t allowed to have sex

and every rock you fucking pick up there’s a priest

fucking a kid

underneath it

I mean it’s just

throughout their entire organization there

are thousands and thousands and thousands of cases

every fucking year new ones pop up

every fucking year some new scandal

about how they

knew this guy was fucking kids and so they

moved them to New Mexico or some shit

I mean it’s

really shocking

that Catholic

people are even

going to church anymore it’s

completely shocking that there’s

still people that they trip

just the sheer weight of its own bullshit

should have

collapsed the Catholic religion a long fucking time ago

and this is

coming from someone who was raised a Catholic

I went to Catholic school

when I was in

first grade

one year I went to Catholic school

and it was such a fucking horrendous nightmare

I don’t remember

second grade

I don’t remember it

I remember first

grade though

like a motherfucker

because first

grade was the only year that I was in Catholic

school I remember this fucking cunt

Sister Mary Josephine this evil evil woman

used to tell you

that if you didn’t

get your homework done you have to sit on a nail in the

closet overnight

she would smack you in the head

I mean it was real shit

if you cried if you were upset

about something she

would make fun of you

you know look at this one crying

she was just

no compassion no love no friendship

no warmth it was all

evil it was all

anger and evil

and that is what that relationship is it is unnatural

it’s not real

this relationship to life

where you’re a person

who’s in charge of some nonsense fairy tale

and because

of that you get to shit on people and yell at

their kids and hit

their fucking kids

and treat them like shit

because you somehow or another are special

because you’re one of

those people that

doesn’t fuck

and you have

you know what you have more access to God and no

you don’t even have more access you don’t have anything

it’s the craziest

most ridiculous cult ever and it’s

still going on

and if that’s not

a damning condemnation of

human beings in

human culture

today in 2010

with the age

of information with the internet with all this that we

still have the Catholic religion that that

stupid shit is

still around

it’s mind boggling

without a doubt if there is a God

that’s not what He wants

if there is

a God what God is is the energy that creates everything

you know it

might not be a conscious

thing or it

might be all conscious

things together as one thing

in some sort of a

framework that

we can’t even recognize because it’s so big

it’s so great that literally

when someone some hippie

says hey you are God and god’s you

what if that’s true

what if that really is true

what if our

purpose on this life has

shielded us from that recognition because

we have to go

through whatever we have to go through like

we’re here for a reason that we’re

pushing humanity and

human culture and

human innovation

forward for a reason

you know probably some sort of a fucking

some sort of a technological

thing that we’re

gonna create that’s

gonna enter us into the new age

but if that’s the case and so

that we just lack the perception to really

understand that we’re in tune with

everything with the

whole world

then that makes sense that

everything is God

and that’s the

feeling that you get when you do mushrooms

when you do mushrooms

you get this feeling of connectedness

that you are attached when you do DMT as well

which is very similar to mushrooms in

what it is chemically

what DMT is is dimethyltryptamine

what mushrooms are

cubensis mushrooms is

4 foxboro loxy

and end dimethyltryptamine so

they’re very

closely chemically related and

you have this

intense feeling of

connection with

everything with people

with the friends

in your life with animals with wilderness with I mean

that’s why they say do mushrooms and go into nature

because when you do

when you you

know have some mushrooms and you’re laying in a

in the woods

you know in a plot of trees

you’ll you like you feel like

the energy of the trees it’s like some Avatar type shit

like you really feel

like the fucking Tree of Souls communicating with you

I think that

our main problem

as human beings is that we are in

a stage of evolution

and we’re in an

adolescent stage

and we are certainly

passing where we used to be and

just our potential

for evolving

above the basic

fight or flight instincts and

our potential for

evolving above just animal brutality and

anger and jealousy and all

these things that we

think that we need in order to

compete and survive

we have potential to rise above that

and that’s what yoga is all

about and that’s what

meditation is all

about and isolation tanks

people who are a

psychedelic enthusiast

what that’s all

about is this

this struggle

up this slippery

slope to get to the top to have just a little

better view

of what the

world could be

and I think

that that’s what

that’s the potential that we have inside of us

it’s all moving towards that

you know human


the idea of

human enlightenment

you know this

quest to get your shit together

it’s all moving away from

these nonsensical animal instincts

to something higher and more

evolved and I

think that potential

is the only good

thing that human beings have

it’s like we have this potential

for one side or the

other we have this potential to be like

an evil government that corrupts its

citizens or

we have this potential to be a brother

we have this potential to be a

sister we have

this potential to be

someone who loves

you like they love family like they love themselves

you know I mean

I have a buddy that as a kid and we were talking

about babies recently

and we were just joking around he’s a

comic as well

gene Pompa last night

at the improv

and we just talking

about and I’ve had this conversation with

other people too about

how it makes you like so much a nicer person

and I said that like man if everybody

treated everybody the way I

treat my daughter what a fucking beautiful

world we would live in

it would just be a

world of warmth

and friendship

you know if we just had a pill

that made you love everybody the way I love my

daughter and we do have a pill like that it’s called

ecstasy but that shit’s terrible for you

and the next

day you feel like shit and it hurts your head but

if we figured out a way

and maybe we’re

gonna do that

I mean maybe that’s what the next

stage of evolution really is all

about maybe it’s an

evolution pill

know maybe you

know some people take the

evolution vaccine and some people won’t

and they’ll

shoot your arm with some shit it lasts like 6 months

and it’s some vaccination

against stupidity

some vaccination

against against

nonsense against

a lack of understanding

and appreciation of the fact that we are here

in this temporary situation as one gigantic hive

one super organism

one super organism

and that the more love you

spread out the more positive energy you spread out

the more you get back

you know the more

it comes back to affect you

and it goes

out in ripples because the people that you affect

they affect

other people as well

and the more positive

you spread out like

literally you can change your world

you can change the

world of the people that you come in contact with

you know I think that is what

human beings are slowly

starting to realize and that may be what God really is

what God might be is everything

what it’s not

is a bunch of dudes in fucking

robes that want to have sex with your kids okay

that’s not God

that’s nonsense

and the fact that

these fucking presidential candidates

and all these

knuckleheads that wanna be

world leaders and they want to

guide us towards

they’re not

guiding us towards anything it’s business as

usual there’s no

evolution whatsoever in the political process

there’s no evolution whatsoever amongst

these fuckheads

that talk they are

decades and decades behind the progressive

American culture

the people that are at the

front of the line of

thinking these

motherfuckers are decades behind

you know that this idea of religious freedom yes I

agree yes you

should have the freedom to

study religiously

you should have the freedom to do whatever you want

you don’t defeat

the Flying Spaghetti

Monster that’s your thing

that that’s fine you know

but you can’t take it seriously

like you can’t

expect someone

who is I mean that is the

whole idea of the

separation of church and

state the whole idea is like some sort of concede

it’s conceding somehow that okay

you’re allowed to believe

ridiculous shit

how about this how

about we just

leave all the religion out

and all we concentrate on is

how things are run business how we

treat each other

what laws we enforce how

you make sure that people aren’t being

victimized these

fucking politicians and

these newspapers and all

these people that really follow all this pope bullshit

they just add credence to it because

knuckleheads read

about in the news

so they think it’s legitimate

I had a conversation with someone

where they were saying that

we were talking

about cults

and I said well I was

watching a documentary and it was

really fascinating it was a documentary on Christianity

and they kept referring it to the cult

of Christianity

that’s how they were referring it to

in this very

scientific documentary

and this woman was very

upset she’s like Christianity is not a cult

and I’m like

how can you say it’s not a cult

and she’s like well because

first of all

you don’t have a cult that has billions of people in it

yes you do it’s just a bigger call

like if you have a cult that has

3 people if you could trick 3 people

you can trick

3,000,000 okay

if you can find

3 people dumb enough to believe your wackiness

and they let you fuck them and they wear purple Nikes

cause you tell them that’s the sacred color

if you get 3 people to do that

they really believe it they’re

gonna get more people to believe it

we are all going through this life

completely clueless

these we are like

people in a

spaceship that woke up from hyper sleep

and we’re going through the

the manuals and no one knows how to run the ship

that’s what we are like and

and there’s a few of us that are older

that are pretending to the younger people listen don’t

worry we’ve got this everything’s going to be fine

we’re gonna have a meeting with Congress

gonna work all this time

and these people are trying to placate the rest of us

who are just like them

and no one knows what the fuck is

going on so anybody that

steps up and tells you that they have all the answers

that God wants this for you god wants that

no you don’t know

those are the

enemy anybody that says they have the answers

they’re your enemy

and anybody who wants your money

they’re your

enemy too you know

give me a fucking show

alright don’t just

stand there

and recite some

stupid Latin

shit and pass on a basket

cause you’re too lazy to work for a living you fuck no

if you want to be the real messenger the word of God

you would be asking for

money okay stop it

people would be giving

money to you because they love you

you wouldn’t have a fucking

basket you pass around make everybody feel guilty

fuck you that’s nonsense that’s

silly goddamn nonsense and

until we acknowledge that

until we acknowledge that

that is our own insecurities that are asking us to

search for an

answer to something that’s impossible to answer

to acknowledge

that we’re fucked we’re just

spinning our wheels

we’re in the same spot we’ve always been

you know and that is the problem the real problem is

everybody wants to pretend that there’s an answer

to something

that you cannot answer

there is no answer it is

absolutely impossible and

if there is a God

it’s probably

so much more complex than you

could ever possibly wrap your fucking head around

and I’ll tell you what it’s not it’s not

Adam and Eve

okay it’s not god made 2 people

and you know they fucked and they had kids and

their kids started fucking each other

because that’s

what Adam and Eve is there’s only 2 people because

that’s like any

child with a simple

grasp of mathematics and 5 minutes to

think about it

you’d say okay

I’m gonna tell you a

story of Adam and Eve

you tell me what you

think is wrong with that

they would go okay if Adam and Eve

made people

everybody came from Adam and

Eve everybody the

whole world okay

if Adam and Eve made people so they had kids

and the kids were like they were brothers and

sisters yep

how do they make more people

there we go no

they fucked each other they fucked each other

the Adam fucked the kids and Eve

fucked the kids and the kids fucked each other

and that’s where people came from

what it’s 2010

no one has any fucking answer no one goddamn it

except maybe Gangsta gangsta has got the answer

I like this I don’t know who Big L is but I like them

big L recipes

so that’s my

long answer to a short question

fuck the Pope

fuck all those dummies

fuck anybody that tells you they’ve got it wired

no no no stupid

no you don’t have it wired and you

gotta get a real job now okay it’s 2000 and fucking 10

if the whole

world got on mushrooms the Catholic religion

would implode okay

they would have to go out and

start kidnapping kids to fuck

cause nobody would bring their kids to him anymore

you know it’s it’s a corrupt

criminal organization of kid fuckers

that’s what it is

do I have any idea how Lost ends no

those fucks I’ve been trying to not tune in

I’m gonna be on Adam Crowes

podcast real soon I think next week

actually I’ll tell you right now

because I’m on the fucking internet hollow

how you like them apples

I love the Internet this is easily my favorite

human creation I’m so addicted

it’s killing my vision I have a hard time reading

things when they’re up close now

okay let’s say Ana Carolla

yes next week the 23rd

so next Tuesday the 23rd I’ll be doing the

Adam Corolla podcast however I don’t know exactly

what time the podcast

what time he puts it up so

that’s my answer to that but I’ll be doing it next

Tuesday the 23rd all right more questions

bad Bobby says Joe I once read

if they legalized all drugs it

could cost the USA

150 000 good jobs and cops

lawyers and so forth

I don’t know if

it’s true but I believe the War on Drugs is a make up

make work project forget

about if they’re getting some profits and selling them

I don’t know if it’s true but it

sounded right yes

definitely the war on drugs

is definitely

look between

the private prisons

and between

law enforcement

there’s an industry in keeping drugs illegal

and it’s not

about protecting you

you know some drugs yes it is you know

when they go and

close down Crystal meth labs

yeah that’s a fucking danger

because crystal meth

makes people it

completely fucks with

their judgment makes them insane

look what it did to Jesse

James he fucked that

bitch with a

tattoo on her head

I guarantee that dude is doing methane

fuck there there’s no way sober

you don’t fuck

chicks with

tattoos on their head when you’re sober

when you see a

bitch that has

pray for Sinners

tattooed on her fucking forehead you go

what and she’s ugly

oh yeah let me

stick my rod dick inside you

now that guy was doing drugs

and there’s drugs that are bad for you okay and crystal

meth is one of them it’s a terrible terrible drug

you know heroin’s another one I mean I’ve seen cocaine

turn people into they’re like

they become like like

roaches they become like bugs

you know that like they don’t they don’t

thinking about you man they’re

just trying to get that shit how do I get that shit

you know they

literally get

black shark eyes they turn dead on the inside man

there’s drugs that are terrible for you and

those drugs yeah

I could see an argument for them being illegal I

could see an argument for us

doing something

about the people that sell them because they’re

damaging people it’s dangerous

but there’s

other drugs like mushrooms and pot

if you get caught with

those things man it

doesn’t matter those are

still illegal drugs

as a matter of fact they’re more illegal than heroin

do you know that

schedule One drugs for

the most part are the drugs that really have like use

schedule One is the most illegal

schedule One is DMT

which your own

brain produces so as Terrence

Mckenney said

he said everyone’s holding

I mean that’s really

really what it is you are

in production

and in you are in

possession of

a really illegal substance

the number one

the schedule one

DMT marijuana

schedule one

no has ever died a pot ever

do you know what it can’t

the only way pot is

going to kill you is if you’re

standing on the

wrong side of the fence

when one of

those Mexican drug helicopters

comes over and pushes a bail out

and it clubs you on the fucking head

that’s how you die from pot

other than that you’re not

gonna die from pot

you might think you’re

dying but you’re just

gonna fall asleep and you’re

gonna be fine no one’s fucking died of it ever

but yet still pot is

schedule one

mushrooms same

thing I’ve never

heard of anybody

dying from mushrooms you can

definitely die if you eat poison

mushrooms but poison mushrooms by the way are legal

and you can

have poison mushrooms all around your backyard you can

munch on them all day

and fucking die of a

heart attack and nobody gives a shit

no one’s gonna have it’s not gonna be

a big inquest no one’s

gonna go crazy

but if you if you put

psilocybin mushrooms in your yard

and the cops come and find them growing in your yard

they will lock you in a fucking cage

even though

psilocybin mushrooms

they can make you go

crazy if you do too

many of them and if you have a weak mental constitution

I could see you

going crazy for mushrooms

just too much information too much realization

but you could go crazy

from anything

you can go crazy from paint

you know you

could you could huff

paint and you know

sniff paint and

blow your fucking

brains out you can go

crazy for anything

there’s a lot

some people are weak and fragile

and there’s

any really extreme

experience can fuck them up

there’s an ant

that I think it’s called an iron ant

I forget the name of the ant but this ant

bites you and the

venom is so intense and horrifying

that it’s been described as

slamming your arm

into a car door

for an hour

that’s what it feels like

just slamming your arm imagine what that’ll feel like

and it lasts for 24 hours

what so this intense insane throbbing like

literally you’re getting ripped

apart like someone slamming a door on your arm

and it lasts a whole day

and the experience is so traumatic

that some people when they come out of it they are

never the same again they’re just a shell

they’re just so fucked up

they could not get through the pain of one

full 24 hour period under so

there’s some shit

in the world that could fuck you up okay that’s not why

marijuana is illegal that’s

not why mushrooms are illegal that’s they’re illegal

because they’re

trying to keep you from them they don’t want

they don’t want a society

that is questioning

leadership they don’t want a society

and that’s the

other problem the people that are in power

they’re not

using these

things throughout

human history shamans

have been the leaders of

tribes and shamans have been the ones that

the tribe will go to when the

tribe has troubles

and what the shamans are were

people who had a lot of

experience in

navigating psychedelic dimensions

in the Amazon

when you know they

would all sit around and

drink ayahuasca

ayahuasca is

an herb like a tea that they brew

with that that produces DMT and it’s a

ordinarily DMT is not you can’t drink it

because it gets

broken down when you take it in orally when you eat it

it gets broken down by something in your stomach called

monoamine oxidase

and it’s produced in your gut and

this ayahuasca

was a way that they figured out how to extract DMT and

a mono aiming

oxidase inhibitor

from another

plant it’s really fucking crazy

they’ve been doing this for 10,000 years

and a place

where there’s

you know 250,000 plus different species of

plants they figured

out a way to combine 2 to make this incredible brew

that lets you communicate with with the afterlife

you know and

which by the way is totally illegal

you know I mean

it’s a mess you know it’s

it’s it’s a real

fucking mess when when you

start think about

what what it

really is because what it really is is people

keeping other people

from having an experience

and the reasoning

for it the reason why is not because they

think that this person

if they have that experience

gonna make life difficult for me they’re

gonna come after me they’re

gonna hurt my family no

they’re doing it because they can profit

off this person not having that experience

if I say that something

is illegal and I set forth laws and I say if you cross

this boundary and you do this behavior and you you know

you violate my law

I get to lock you in a cage I get to make

money from lock you in

a cage not only that I get to employ people that will

now they have a job

their job is to go

after people

that are doing what I said they couldn’t do

and get them and kidnap them and put them in a cage

that’s what

you’re having with marijuana and mushroom busts and

stuff like that

you’re telling someone that

by your judgment

they shouldn’t have that experience

and so you say well if you’re

gonna make such

an extreme judgment that judgment has to be

based on facts

right no no it

doesn’t have to be

based on facts of course it doesn’t

because if it was

then marijuana

would have been

legal in the 1950s

I mean it would have been

legal in the when

when they passed the

sweeping Schedule One


Act of 1970 I believe it was when they made

everything illegal

they would have

they would have had to provide some

reasoning for making mushrooms illegal some reasoning

for making marijuana illegal and it would been

scientific and

would have been medical

but the problem is

every single fucking medical

study that’s ever been done

about marijuana shows that it’s relatively harmless

I mean you can ruin your life with anything you

can ruin your life with cheeseburgers if you want to

like I always

talk about like

bottles you can take

a bottle and bottles can hold a nice delicious drink

or you can take a bottle

and you could

stuff it up your ass and

throw yourself down a flight of

stairs and bleed to

death it doesn’t mean that bottle

should be illegal

the real fucking problem is that we are

allowing people

to victimize

other people for

profit and that’s what the War on Drugs is all about

and the reason why the war on drugs works at all

is because the people responsible

the cops and the lawyers

they’re not doing drugs

if they were doing drugs if they were doing the

right drugs

they were doing mushrooms and they were smoking pot

they would be nothing

it would all stop

they would have to stop

if you do the correct amount of mushroom dose

you would realize that in

victimizing people

you are victimizing yourself

you are creating a terrible

stream of karma

you are ruining lives

for nothing you are ruining lives for something that

doesn’t have anything to do with you

and something that’s been around

in terms of

for marijuana

and mushrooms and

ayahuasca tens of thousands of years of human use

and as I said in

those indigenous cultures

the shaman was the one who made the decisions

that’s because this is the guy that had the most

experience in

these matters of the

spirit world

we don’t have that anymore now we have the opposite

we have leaders that

if we find out they’re doing mushrooms we’d be shocked

we would want them removed from office

if Obama had a

press conference on

Monday and said

I got together with my wife the

other day we did 5

grams of mushrooms and we went to the mountains

and I really

start to think

about our country

everybody be like what

the fuck are you talking about

that would be the most beautiful

thing that he

could ever say

if you could say I just took something that allowed me

to literally

tune into the

stream of love that is

god that is the energy of the universe that is

Mother Gaia

I connected myself to all that is loving in the world

and I came back with some

revelations and some thoughts

about how we

could lead our

culture better

how we could be kinder to the rest of the

world how instead of

going all these

places to control the resources and to

to ruin them how

about we introduce them to this spiritual realm

how about we introduce the whole

world to mushrooms

how about we

produce them in mass

quantities and slowly

start to open

people’s eyes up to the fact that it’s not

a lack of resources that we have in this country

it’s a gluttonous fucking gigantic

group at the top

that are fucking in raping the world

it’s not that we have

not enough resources to run the life

that we need

we don’t have enough resources to run the life

we’re living

we don’t have to live like this

this is all nonsense

we live a non agriculturally

based life we live a life

where we rely

on fossil fuels and

rely on petroleum

we don’t have to

there’s many many

things that

could be done with

plants that we’re doing right now

if marijuana was legal

first of all just hemp as

for use for oil

and use for textiles and use for

for you can make

houses out of it

and you can you can fucking fuel cars with it you could

build cars with it lotus actually made a fucking car

with a instead of carbon

fiber or fiberglass

they made the fucking shell out of hemp

I mean it’s all possible

we just can’t live the way we’re living right now

and there’s no way

to effectively reset


better than


but meanwhile

saying that makes you

sound like a retard like I’m listening to my own

self and I’m like if I didn’t do drugs if I had

never you know done mushrooms or anything like that I

heard a guy talking like this like who the

freak is this

idiot like what

could you how

could you possibly say that

you you think you have all the answers

I don’t have the answers but I do have

a possible door to the answers

and that’s what I

think I think


experiences are

and these guys that are running for president

they will deny that to the end they will

they will you know

Obama had this fucking

thing recently

where was a town hall meeting

and he got all

these questions from the Internet

and the number one question

the number one question

was marijuana


and every other

issue that was being discussed

that day whether it was healthcare or anything else

he gave these

really well thought out in

depth answers

but it came to the marijuana question was like ho ho ho

well I don’t know what that says

about this group here ho

ho ho they said no I don’t

think that’s a good idea

really you don’t

think that’s a good idea you don’t

think it’s a good idea to stop suppressing people

you don’t think it’s a good

idea to not jail people for having a fucking experience

to not jail people for selling a

plant a naturally growing

thing that’s

never killed anyone

you don’t think that it’s

a good idea to reverse an evil fucked up corrupt law

that is helping people with

the worst karma ever

imprison people from nothing

well you sir need some fucking mushrooms

and that’s the problem

we have a whole

group of people running this

fucking country and none of them are doing mushrooms

I would like to have a talk show

I’ve talked

about this on stage

I wanted to have a talk show

where I make people do mushrooms with me

and it would be called

do Mushrooms with Joe Rogan

and we have on you know

like people that like

I mean you want to know a real truth serum

mushrooms is the best

truth Sam you get you once that fucking wave hits you

that wave of

of alien information and the the

wave of love and the connectivity and when you see the

fiber of the very universe all around you

you’re gonna

start talking

and if I could get

you know like Ken Starr and

Dick Cheney and

could you imagine

could you imagine if

those guys like if people sued them

and people you know

you know because

like look there’s a lot of people that want to take

them to trial for war crimes

especially Dick

Cheney we think

about the fact that Dick

Cheney was a CEO of Halliburton

and then you know he becomes the

Vice President of the United States

we go to some

crazy fucking wars

where Halliburton

gets the contracts and the wars are all

based on totally

false information

about weapons

of mass destruction there’s people that say that

Dick Cheney was at the

helm of it he was lying

you could try that

motherfucker for wars against

crimes against

humanity you

could try him for that

and if he was convicted

and they said

here’s one thing you can do to get out of it

you gotta you

gotta do the

let’s Get let’s Do Mushrooms with Joe Rogan show

and you have a guy like that like a

any any really fucked up

politician George Bush senior

George Bush Jr

You know anyone

like that sit them down and make them do mushrooms

make them realize that

just because you’ve been living this life the same way

as everyone before you

as your father and all

these other corrupt politicians

it doesn’t mean it’s justifiable

just because you can find

examples all around you of people who have done worse

and people who are doing the same things

doesn’t mean that it’s supposed to continue

and it’s got

to there’s got to be a way to stop it

it doesn’t seem to be stopping

with the evolution of culture

it seems to be the same

it seems to be the corruption

it’s being exposed more

but it doesn’t seem like it’s put a

monkey wrench in it like they’re just stopping

you know the financial

corruption involved in this bailout is staggering

and if you really want to hurt your head

you go and read some of

Matt Taibis

articles about it

it fucking hurts

like when you look at the

billions and trillions of dollars

where it’s going and how

it’s being funded and

these guys are getting

bonuses and they’re getting

bonuses but they don’t have any

money and the

money came from taxpayers but they were

owed the bonuses or

else they’ll quit or why don’t they fire them they’re

the ones that fuck this

thing up in the

first place

it’s staggering I mean

literally our entire


is built on a

foundation of

unfixable bullshit

it’s the only way I

think to restructure our society correctly

literally it

would have to be done by someone

other than us

because once

I mean that’s what the Constitution was all

about when there was the

birth of America

the idea of America was that we were

going to have

a separation of church and

state that we were

gonna have people that

could only run it for a few years and then they

would have to leave

we were gonna have

the will of the people and then it was

gonna be we were

gonna be free from all the imperialism

bullshit that we had to deal with in England and

in Europe but

after a while it just fell into the same

thing people

inherently if we’re left

alone and we’re just people the way we are

right now our

evolution our

cultural and social

evolution is so much slower

than the evolution of

technology what we’re able to do

we’re able to communicate with people all around the

world we’re about

flying fucking tubes through the sky

we’re able to

send video through the air

we’re able to watch

television programs that are being broadcast from the

other side of the planet

I mean we have

this incredible technological capabilities but

socially we’re just a bump

ahead of where we were in the 50s just a little

just a little

I mean it could be argued that we’re like

slightly behind

where we were in the 70s

in comparison to like

you know if you

think about it like

as far as like

what kind of access to information they had back then

you know everybody was all

about love and fucking

peace and love

why is that

why was the 60s the late 60s

what was the drop off between then and here

you know it’s drugs

it’s what it is

when all that Summer of Love all that Woodstock shit

they were all on acid

okay they’re all on mushrooms they’re all on peyote

they were high

as fuck and they were realizing that this way of living

the life that you know

leads you to be your dad is not

where it’s at when you

watch your dad drop dead of a fucking

heart attack at 55 and you scarcely can remember him

laughing 3 times ever

you know and you go

what I’m supposed to be that guy what the fuck is that

you know and then the Vietnam War and all the

disenchantment with

our government I mean that’s what forced people

to more drugs that’s what forced the

culture to change more

we need something like that we need something like that

right now because the way we’re doing it we are just

spinning our fucking wheels

when the president wins the Nobel

Peace Prize and then

like a week

later sends

30,000 people

more into Afghanistan

you gotta go what the fuck

really you know

what the fuck you

think this is a good idea nobody

after the Vietnam

War thought the Vietnam War was a good idea

less people

are gonna think the Afghanistan war is a good idea

cause Afghanistan isn’t even really the fucking country

I mean it’s like one city

and a hundred tribes

the way John McCain

describes Afghanistan he said

it’s run the same way it was run when Alexander the

Great was around

I mean literally you have warlords

and they run

tribes and in between

these warlords

you know there’s a few Taliban

like sprinkled in the hills

and you know how we find out

about these Taliban

this is where it gets really funny

we give the warlords Viagra

because the warlords can’t get it up anymore

and you know they want to

still be the warlord but you know

they got like

these 6 wives and

these chicks are like sitting around

come on when are you

gonna fuck me

and they can’t fuck them so they take Viagra

now and the soldiers give them Viagra and they in

tune in turn

give them information

about the Taliban

it’s pretty funny shit

okay let’s see

how long will the world ignore the people that are

dying of starvation I

think Sam Kennisson has the best answer to that

why don’t you people live where the food is

okay let me see

tiger Woods is gully I don’t know what that means

fuck James Tony

big L Recipes

oh Big L was

a rapper that was shot and killed in Harlem in 1999

thank you eternal

damn it’s already almost 7 a fucking

clock we’ve been doing this for an hour and 1/2

all right people

I don’t see anything more interesting here

so I’m gonna go to back to Twitter

I’m gonna stay with you guys for another half an hour

oh someone thinks I can’t recognize 2 dudes dicks

I claim early I’m

proficient in identifying poor stars by the dicks

some fans might wonder if you’re

truly being honest because it seems kind of gay

who’s this who’s

Peter North

Ron Jeremy rocko sir Freddie mmm

I would say the bottom one it looks a little like

Ron Jeremy and the top one

looks a little like Rocko Sir Freddie

but the top one could be the same guy in

which case I say both of Ron Jeremy am I right

sad so sad that I know all right twitter

she was on Twitter god damn it I love you too

Harris for Andrew you motherfucker

infiltrate the White House kitchen and mix psychedelics

in the food

mmm that might not be such a good idea to hear

about what happened in France I’ll find the

article for you the CIA

the CIA put LSD

in they spiked

I’ll put the it’s it’s all over the Internet

not just one

I’ll put a put one up on but if you just look up CIA

France LSD in Google you will find

many many many articles

about it I’ll put it up on twitter right now

okay just just

threw it up on twitter

right there is some fascinating shit man

so I don’t think that

dosing people with

acid is the answer

I think that’s definitely not the way to go

I think any psychedelic drug

should be done if you’re going to do it at all

with an understanding of what you’re doing

and you’re doing it with someone who knows

what they’re doing who’s done it many times before

and that’s what the role of a shaman is supposed to be

you know what

a shaman is supposed to be is someone who can give you

experience and help you and

guide you through

the experience of

literally leaving this

world I mean that’s what psychedelics are all about

you know I mean everybody wants everybody thinks that

you know to really leave this world you’re gonna get a

spaceship and you’re gonna go to another planet

you can leave this world

from right here

you can leave this world in your own mind

and it’s much more possible to me

that the real

aliens that real alien life

it’s probably way

weirder and way

more complicated than we’ve got it broken down in the

movies with

metal ships and shit like that

I think it’s more of a


thing I think there’s

there’s you

know if you talk to people that know anything

about quantum physics and I don’t

understand it I don’t get it but

from their claims and

supposedly this is mathematically provable there’s at

least 11 dimensions

you know that’s just what we know

about what does that even

mean do you even know what that means I’m not sure I do

you know but

I think that

the way I think about it

is that it’s very likely that just this reality

is just the reality that we’re tuned into

but there’s probably

an infinite number of different realities

going on at the same time all around us

we just can’t tune into it we just don’t

literally don’t have the

senses for it

so it might be that

alien life is here

right now all the time it’s just operating

on like a different

frequency on the dial

you know like that the

world is a radio and that we’re 971 but that the

aliens are 1098 and you know we just can’t tune them in

you know who

the fuck knows

but you know when you

start talking aliens

people gonna

think you’re crazy

if we ever did man if we ever did fucking find

aliens god damn would that be a crazy day

if they ever did come down but I don’t

think they would be too nice to us

because we’re not so nice to chimps

you know look at what we do to killer whales man

you know we take fucking killer whales we

just we know they’re super smart and we don’t care

we don’t give a fuck

get in the fish tank stupid

get in the tank and do tricks

you know what makes us think that

aliens are gonna treat us any differently

maybe that’s what

all these alien abduction experiments are all

about maybe

they don’t take it seriously at all they just

think we’re crazy pink monkeys with nuclear weapons

and they come down and they fuck with us

there’s a joke that I do in my act

about how if there are really are aliens

I believe that Earth is the Tijuana of outer space

and I really I think that might be accurate

this might be just a place to come to fuck around

you know why

would you want to fix us so what so we can make more

is already 6 billion of us

you know what

why would you want to make more

in you know

the last hundred years I mean how many more

people have been born some like 4 or 5 fucking billion

I mean it’s getting pretty nutty man

this is motherfuckers

gonna get overcrowded soon and

why would they mean if you’re

gonna fix us it would have to be a radical changing

it would have to be really radical because

socially we are not catching up to where we are


our awareness is not up to what we’re capable of

what we’re capable of blowing up the whole planet

when we’re capable of creating

black holes and

we’re capable

of all kinds of nutty shit I mean just the

the nuclear arsenal that

North Korea possesses

look at those dummies

they got one fucking

stupid little dude with glasses

makes them shut the

lights out at

night to save energy nobody’s got any money this

motherfuckers got a gang nuclear weapons just wanted

to launch on people


oh look at this guy 11 dimensions explained says

S Y Z G Y One one one one

I watch that and I still won’t learn anymore

I’ll watch it but I’ll

still be like I’m not sure really what they’re saying

okay couple

more questions and I get the fuck out of here I hear my

little daughter crying

if aliens didn’t

exist that says

that everyone who was abducted or saw UFO is

crazy no it

doesn’t because

first of all

what UFO means is unidentified

let me tell you something man

people are full of shit

you know we did a

thing I used to

do a show called Game Show in my head I did it for CBS

and it was a hidden camera game show

and what the show was

was we would

have a contestant and the contestant

would have to convince people to do a

bunch of shit

and it would be

under a hidden camera

and we set up in Hollywood

and this dude we had a contestant

dress up like

a newscaster like a guy who worked for Channel 4 News

and he stood there in the

street corner

and we had all

these cameras

pointed on them and

the cameras

right on the people

and he would go up to people and say can you do me a

favor I’m in a terrible situation

we had a situation here

earlier and

a UFO landed they had to tell

the people on camera

that a UFO landed

and that all

these witnesses

had seen it

but then the witnesses took off

so I need you to pretend that you saw it

and every fucking person we

asked to do that did it

I thought no one was

gonna do it they just stepped

right up and they so tell us

about the experience

the guy was

like well you know I saw the UFO and it cram

was silver and

lights around the edge

they describe it in detail

and I’m sitting there like what

people love

to be on camera

and people are just

generally full

of shit and even if they did see something

by the time that

story comes around and there’s cameras on them

where they’re being interviewed

they’re talking to reporters

that story is

gonna morph in

their memory it’s

gonna change

who knows what the fuck it was

it could have been an

experimental government jet

it could have been a flock of birds at

night it could have been a UFO

who the fuck knows

who knows what it really was but

the people that are talking

about are almost all nuts man

they’re almost all loony

so I think that people see

things and then they

blow those things up in their head

and as far as the abduction


all UFO abduction


occur while people are sleeping

they’re all

occurring late at

night if you look at them the bulk of them

except that people are just probably

completely insane to think they

come and take them

during the middle of the day and

bring them back

and it seems like they’re only gone for a

second but really they’re gone for days

there’s some

loons that will tell you some stories like that but

I think that what’s

going on is

it’s DMT related

because we know that the

brain produces DMT

while a person is in

heavy REM sleep

and if you smoke BMT

the experience that you have is very much alien

it’s very much like what you would

expect someone to be talking

about if they were brought to another

world or brought aboard a spaceship

I mean it feels like you’re

going on to something

you know and

who knows what kind of

you know a response

you would give

these UFO people if you took them

and gave them DMT

and made them

smoke DMT and go okay

was that what you saw

if they were like

yeah I was back on the ship you go okay settle down

then you know then you know what’s

going on you

know what what is that there are they really

making contact with entities

is it really

their brain and their

their imagination

that becomes

supercharged because of the

chemical that

floods through

it and what is imagination exactly I mean

people can poo

poo that and say oh it’s just you’re making

things up it’s hallucinations

is it you know

how do you know that that

world is not just as real as this

world just because this

world you can bang on it

make noise you know you can feel it that

doesn’t mean it’s more real

that just means it’s

solid you know it’s it’s very possible that the

world of the imagination the

world of your mind the

world of dreams

is really a

world is really another dimension

do I believe in

ghosts I’m not scared of them

I fucking watch

those ghost stories

like what are they scared of this fucking

ghost never kill anybody

you see I saw some shit

it’s amazing how many of

those goddamn

shows there are though everybody wants to like

watch the paranoia more

everybody’s obsessed with Ufos and

everybody’s obsessed with you know

shit that’s not necessarily real

you know Bigfoot like I’ve always said the killer

whales are way more interesting than Bigfoot

these super intelligent animals that

actually rescue people

they kill great white sharks

they kill dolphins they’re like they’re ruthless

crazy super intelligent animals

they play with their dead

like seals you ever see killer whales

like throw a seal up in the air and

SWAT them with their tail and send them flying

they’re fucking ruthless and they’re super smart

it’s fascinating shit

all right I think

chat roulette

if you’ve been

on chat roulette you probably seen my deck sorry no I

never put my dick on chat roulette that’s just rude son

I think it’s funny though

I haven’t done it yet

I did the other roulette

where you just type just like a it’s like

one on one personal messaging

like and there’s always dudes trying to get laid

are you a dude and I would say yes

and then they would just fucking hang up on me so I

started saying I was a chick

and I did a few of those and I put them up on

the forums on Joe Rogan net it was kind of fun

all right did Dan Hardy

get to leap prog

top 10 welterweights

and get a title shot you know

I don’t know it’s hard to say

I think Dan hardy’s

exciting dude

he talks a lot of shit he’s saying all the

right things

he got serious

power in his hands

it’s just whether or not he’s

gonna be able to deal with that fucking

wrestling game of GSPS

GSP can take

you down man he’s such an athlete man he’s so explosive

and I think it’s just really hard for dudes to

avoid that takedown

and he gets on top of you and stays on top he’s

gonna beat your ass

you know the thing is

about GSP is

will it be a

fight like the

Tiago Alves

fight where he

neutralize Alves

but he never really came

close to stopping him

or will it be a

fight like the Fitch

fighter the BJ

fight where he just gets on top of him

beats the fucking shit out of him

or will Hardy have something up his

sleeve you know

maybe hardy’s take

down defenses better than we thought it is you know

maybe Hardy

has a strategy for

how to counter the double

and how to stop him when he’s coming in

or how to you

know take it to him or maybe he’s

gonna pull guard

who the fuck knows what hardy’s gonna do

hardy’s a very very

smart guy and he’s very confident it’s real

confidence it’s not bullshit

he really believes that he’s

gonna clip GSP and he’s

gonna rock them and he’s

gonna go home with the title

who the fuck knows son

it’s gonna be


spice bag of ice a

spilled bag of ice

says that the 11th dimension is in his

pants wow that

spilled bag of ice is

still around I thought you

would have abandoned that Twitter by now

you got a lot of stick to

it if not son

good for you

all right I

think that’s enough

right sucking

37 11 that’s a perfect time to end

we are proof that

aliens exist


okay I don’t know what you’re talking about

now you’ve done too much drugs

you’re you’re ruining the

whole cause dot com

I will look one more time for

a good question on the forums Joe open

net and if we cannot find one we’ll wrap it up bitches

did anyone ever wonder why

we lose all the good rappers that have a significant

place in hip hop history rappers like

Tupac Big E

Big L Eazy E

I don’t know Big L is

easy E Yeah yet we’re

stuck with garbage like Nelly and fucking Soldier Boy

yeah that’s interesting

I think rappers man that life

you know the life is all guns and

I mean when you’re Tupac

and you got fucking machine guns

tattooed on your body it says thug life on your stomach

you know those aren’t signs of

a long and healthy career

he was like the

first dude to like

cover his body his

whole body with

tattoos too

they’re all doing that now

it’s really crazy

you know Little Wayne

I think it’s hilarious that Little Wayne

said that he’s a gangster like told

Katie Kirk I’m a gangster Miss Katie

meanwhile they

put him in jail they immediately put him in

protective custody

you’re a gangster

maybe you and you get all your

money and you’re outside but the inside world no

you’re a singer

you’re an entertainer and it

would be awesome if one of

those guys fucked your face not

for everybody for them for that guy to fuck your face

he be I’m not saying that

I’m looking forward to you getting your face fucked

but let’s be realistic it

would happen

god damn it

you motherfuckers

all right when

all right I

think that’s it

there’s no more I could say

like I said I’m

going to be an Gotham

at Gotham Comedy Club

next Friday

next Friday is the

26th for 2 shows

it’s almost sold out so

if you want to get tickets you got to jump on that shit

right away it’ll

definitely be sold out by that day

so I’ll see you guys then I’ll be on Opie and Anthony

that Friday in the morning as well

looking forward to that

looking forward to the UFC

and that Saturday the

27th and that should be

fun as fuck

and everything else

and thank you everybody for tuning in

and I have kept my promise keep up this weekly podcast

it is now also on

you can catch it on iTunes the

audio version

it’s on iTunes

so check it out

thank you guys for your support

thanks for everything and I really

appreciate it and

I will see you next week next week

I will do this

I’m home Monday

I will do this Tuesday next week so I’ll see you guys

next Tuesday

um I love you thanks

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