The Joe Rogan Experience #47 - Michael Schiavello

ladies and gentlemen

we are live

live on the podcast

with the voice

yeah baby michael

shivelo a meeting of the minds

ladies and gentlemen

to mix martial arts

connoisseurs if you will together on a podcast

sponsored by the way by the flashlight

as always now they

have a new avatar version now it’s not really avatar

they can’t say avatar but you know what you’re fucking

they’re gonna

explode into

blue vagina

these are like they’ve got in

tokyo they’re

called tengas over there they’re huge sellers at don

coyote stores

which for us

mixed martial arts fans don

coyote is also the

major sponsor of sengoku

really so therefore what

is don coyote

it’s a store

no it’s a store

where you can buy

everything from fashion

to food to fucking

sex shit like this and they sell these

things called tenga

it’s similar to this but a bit

smaller because the japanese have really

small cocks

sorry it’s all

about japanese fans but you do rude

how rude and yeah the guys buy these

things tenders and they rip the

leaves off in it

well this is

this is the only

sponsor i have for the show well i’ve

counted a couple

other ones but

you know in the

mp3 versions but this

this company

was sponsored by a guy whose wife was pregnant and

he couldn’t fuck her obviously

so he invented something that

came up with something to fuck

and now he’s rich

it’s like his own personal like they came up with all

these patents for what makes it feel the most like a

pussy it’s really fantastic

shit like if you feel it i

feel you fucking

stuck your cock in there no i didn’t i

wouldn’t do that to you promise me i

have the one the

fucking schlongery have not done that i

would not do that to you

i would only give you a

clean one oh you spit and

two fingered it oh i feel dirty damn

yeah it’s pretty pretty cool nice

man well you know what i like the most

about it though that there’s been a

bunch of controversy

about it i think my him people have called

me dude when he was doing the he wasn’t here

he just got this i just got this last week

may have touched one i

might give them one

i’ll give you one if you want i got some

extra that’s

right i got my

girlfriend here when she

goes shazam

on the road then

i know what you’re

saying man it’s

everything lonely times brother

lonely times on the road cantalobes in the microwave

you know i only discovered like

12 months ago that

the japanese toilets all have

a chute water into your ass

right so i haven’t

wiped my ass in

japan for the last 10

months because it

shoots water in your ass and

cleans your ass out but that’s

really the way to do it it’s a way to go and it

warms the seat

warms and the seat tilts from side to side but

if you shift back

a little bit more

it goes from your ass and

shoots onto your balls

so the japanese toilets can fondle your balls

while you’re lonely

nights on the road and

get your balls fondled and

get the moisturizer

out so that’s what you do

fulham are both

senseless man

so i prepare for

fight commentary

how do you prepare do you prepare

to like sit down with

you know almost

everything there is to know

about all these guys that are

fighting i mean you’re

the one of the

things that

i appreciate

about you is just like me like if you

weren’t doing this you

would still be

watching it just as much

still man lucky i’m a fan you know

yeah that’s what he’s over here tonight so we’re

gonna watch

strike for us

we’re buddies we met in edmonton

and we hung out in australia

and now he’s over my

house and we’re

gonna watch the

fight tonight yeah

yeah i kinda like

the man i just

the only thing i

like to do before i come

inside is i just like listening to

music man oh my

god listening to music

i don’t talk very much like i’m

last night last year we

drove to dynamite

which from the

hotel to go to saitama in

tokyo is like a 50

minute drive

and in the cab

was like me and irene and one of our producers

and i said to both of them go you two talk to each

other cause i’m put

these headphones on and just i

don’t talk to anyone

wow but he just

fired up huh

just fire like to be in a good

state of mind

just a good

state of mind

but dude i play some cheesy ass songs

like seriously if you saw the ten songs i

play before i go on here

there’s cheesy ass like

what what do you got dude i got

everything from

the theme from joe

esposito theme from karate

kid you’re the best around right

you know that one

so like the theme from fuckin grease

like songs from the

musical grease

really yeah

weird shit it’s not

about and that

gets you excited for real i like the hand drive

the grease hand

drive song really

do the hand

drive baby that one

right i’m like

i’m about to go on air and compensate k1 and

dream i’m like hand

drive that would

drive me crazy nah

man fucking

great one man’s poison

yeah you know yeah

yeah i fucking love it that’s it

i just you know i make

sure i’m well prepared i do all my research and all

that sort of shit but i know most of the guys anyway

i like some bad music

what do you like i like some country

music that’s terrible

really yeah i

could have been a cowboy

you know you know that song

i like that song

i like some dumb toby

keith style country music

i like good country music i like like hank williams jr

i like that matt hughes song country boy can’t survive

oh yeah fucking love that song

that’s a goddamn i

do like r and b man but now

cheats me you know what everyone is too gangsta

r and bs at the end of the day

some guys on the same

i’m a fuck your mom a puppet cap these

motherfuckers i like

pancake gangster

and r and b

you sing yeah you’re a singer for a living

do you know what

would have happened

to me if i told my dad when i was six years old

daddy i want to be a singer

he would have fucking

get out on the

street well they

don’t like to

think of themselves as being that that’s a feminine

thing so they overcompensate

they sing for a fucking but

rapping’s not singing

right rapping is sort of

rapping is just fast talking to music

shit talk yeah

this shit talks like i hate everybody

like a rhythm to it yeah it is kind of like

musical but

yeah but i like old

r amp b like i love marvin gaye

like that motherfucker just had a

voice man but i don’t like the new

stuff because i don’t believe them it’s

you know i’m saying

like our kelly

i love our kelly

because it’s funny man

because it’s so

ridiculous any

god likes you

and she would

burn my motherfucking clothes

he sings that i mean the shit that he sings is like

a ghetto conversation

and he just puts it to song i

appreciate that but you know

every second word is i know it’s like a bad word

the taboo word is like nigga

you know we don’t have that in australia

you don’t call anyone that there’s not

many black people in australia

but every so that word doesn’t even exist

no it wouldn’t say it really no

so it’s like americans calling someone an a bow

a bow right

aboriginal aboriginal

right see a bow is

about it doesn’t exist over here you call

someone hey you fucking a bow and i go yeah

fuck all black on american a bow he goes right

right what’s that how come

a nigger is gonna kill me but if you call an

aborigine anabo it’s the same thing as calling them and

they’ll pull petrol on you and set you on fire whoa

but i don’t understand but that’s just a short

version of aborigine

yo you gotta turn that shit off son dismiss

alarm i don’t know why it sounded like

five in the afternoon it’s time to get

your balls falling by the toilet you got that shit on a

clock you sick fuck

but you’re right it’s an abbreviation it’s like

if you’re jewish and i say you’re jew

nothing wrong with that

right aboriginal abo

yeah italian i tie

there’s nothing

wrong with that

man once i smell

australian aussie yeah what’s

wrong with that but a bows

have been called a

bow i made a

statement once

saying the japs have created some insane shit

and this guy goes do you know how

racist that

you just said that i’m like what

we’re talking

about nsxs we’re talking

about engineering like japanese race car engineering

like they’ve invented some

incredible shit

their cars are so reliable

and so i said

the japs have invented some incredible shit

this guy’s like do you know

racist that is like dude i had this argument

last year with someone because

i called someone a jack back home and it’s like it’s

it’s like the

world war ii

alliance thing that it’s

racist to call jap

and i’ve gone

past that i’ve been

working around japanese

people for years and i’m sure i’ve called them jap to

their face and they don’t mind

and my mate’s like dude it’s so fuckin

racist it’s just

wrong you can’t say jap

blah blah blah

so i went to

japan and i

asked my producer

i said dude if i call you a jap

are you offended he goes no it’s

short for japanese

i got no offence yeah you don’t fucking stop

thinking pearl harbor and

you know you

a bombs on hiroshima

and people thought the nips was far too effective but

yeah that’s how

the japanese say

japan they don’t say japan

they say nippon

some people are retarded man

it’s a strange

thing where people

don’t want to step on people’s toes over nonsense

like an abbreviation of a name is bad

in australia intent

is the only

thing that’s back

intent all and

how do you feel like you say

these japs are fucking badass they make some cool shit

or do you say

these japs these little tiny

cock yellow

motherfuckers coming over here to fuck all the

white women and take all the land and you

start getting

angry well then japs is a bad

thing but it’s

the intent behind it that’s bad it’s an abbrevy

fucking nation man

it’s a pretty

fucking nation so

people are always looking for

a reason to be pissed off people are so pissed off just

about life itself

about traffic and bullshit

and bills and the constant not me at

work everybody has a fuckin

opinion this day man why can’t some people just shut

the fuck up

like the fuckin

cocksuckers i read on the internet sometimes it’s like

what qualifies you to have a fuckin opinion that i

should pay attention for

are you sitting behind your website

fuckin getting paid to put your opinion on there

no well even the ones

who are there’s a lot of websites out there that are

there’s a lot of bloggers in my opinion that

aren’t nearly

as good as some of the commentary guys who post on like

mixed martial arts com

there’s some

fucking intelligent guys that i’ve been reading

their post for years and

i know that if there’s a post

about anything like serious

well this guy if he posts something

about it this is

gonna be an interesting opinion i want to read this

but how many writers can you say that

about how many

mma writers

very few well i

think there’s more talented people on forums now the

other thing with

mma rod is is

they are blinded to anything outside of the ufc

and i love the ufc

because i’m a fucking huge mma fan

josh grosses

josh pretty

oh rush one of

the rare ones a few that aren’t but a lot of them are

blinded to anything that is not

ufc they might

be scared yeah they

might be scared

they’re scared they’re

gonna be yanked

their credentials from dana

you know fucking

careful with dana

dana was a play

i know it’s creepy

but a lot of them don’t even know anything

about martial arts bro you

could not sit down and have

a conversation and really out

martial arts with them

it’s you know

dana is so competitive

that he does have this environment where

he feels like they

should pay attention to ufc first

and then if they don’t

he’s not very

happy with that

you know i would say

yours is the one

it’s the promotion it is the one you’re gonna

pay attention wise

first and foremost

that attitude in the

pushing it like that is the reason why this fucking

sports is gigantic

the reason why it’s

going australia exactly he’s not lazy

all right he’s

taking on all

fronts you know

so it’s tough for

journalists you know in that

sense you know

but there are some fucking talented guys out there

like josh gross is a talented journalist

you know and he’s honest about shit

sometimes he’s a little


sometimes guys get like critical

about dudes abilities and characters

and they try to say something bitchy

because if someone puts in a bad performance

they’ll just they feel like you know it’s

their job to be critical and to be

shit you better

better to fucking

right about

i did the k one show

let’s say he’s a

perfect piece

of you what do you say

about like a crow cop and a mere

fight when crow cop and mere

fight man there’s not a lot of positive

things to say

the positive

thing to say is the end of the

fight of course

frank mere landed a perfect knee and put crow cop

away and then

finished them

you know jumped all over him

so that’s a good

thing to say but for

everything up before that what

could a writer say

you know so they just

start going off about

just the worst

possible shit that they

could think of

what’s wrong with

frank meer and how

he’s got this attitude and crow cops

should hang it up and they’ll just write

the most bitter fucked up shit

you know i think that the

human drama is far more compelling the real

drama of that

fight you know

it’s like that was a strange

fight man the

thing with that

fight though is

i liked each

other or something

milko came out and he said even if i lose i’m not

gonna get cut from ufc

so when i read that i’m like i don’t

wanna fucking see this did he

say that he

came out and said one of the websites like miriko

says even if i lose i can’t get cut

well if that’s the case

i don’t wanna fucking watch that

fight man because

already i know that i’m not sure if you’ve got

that back of your head

i’m not sure if he really said that

these words were

maybe misconstrued

very could be

taken out of context

if you lose this

fight do you

think you’ll be kicked out of the

ufc i hope not

merco says he won’t be kicked out of the

ufc if he loses his

fight you know it’s

journalism sometimes is that bad yeah it’s misconstrued

it’ll be exactly and then

the wrong way i supposedly said i was

like i didn’t say it like that you know you’re missing

that has been the big difference bro

between commentating

outside of america

and then recently coming on to the american scene

it’s like you get

people that sit there and

watch the broadcast

and analyze

every fucking word

and pause and breath you take

and then dissect

it down to the new

creative line it’s bad and it’s negative but i also

think it’s good

for me personally it’s good i’ve

learned a lot from shitty people

online sing shitty things

because you know

worst case scenario

what can they attack you on is there any

validity in this

total piece of shit who’s saying terrible things

about you but do they have a point

and if they do have a point

then you can like

snatch victory from the all

their negative bullshit by

using whatever

and improving it in why if you use it positively

it acts as a

watchdog for your own abilities

and your own

appearances on a

total cunts though

i get personal freedom

out of like

reading the shittiest nastiest

things that like i know just some desperate

angry fuckhead says

and turning it into a positive

thing for me

like i have this little

game that i play with because it’s very difficult to do

i want to do like sullen

bob and jstar

like hunt the fuck is

i get mad when you read shit

about yourself to get mad

you get used to it man

you know it’s like

and i tend not to read a lot of it because it’s like

what am i gonna

do sit there and read it and go wow i’m so

super and fantastic

because people are giving you

these compliments

and then you read people that will bag you

why well it’s

good to know that people are

enjoying what you do it’s good to know

to know and to connect with them

and i saw you did that recently on the


you made a yeah

my first time on

the ground yeah

there’s plenty of cool

people in there i post on there all the time yes it’s

there’s plenty of cool people there there’s

gonna be douchebags

no matter what when you have anonymous

scream names

and people could say

anything they want whenever you have that situation is

gonna be douchebag

sure dog which has got some

great posts but also some lootishly fucking

ridiculous bullfuckers on there

and so many pro

fighters that i know and so many media guys

just won’t post

on sites like that anymore because of the reason that

people just attack and attack like fucking piranhas man

this a lot of hateful fucks out there i’m hateful

it’s but it’s a fascinating

thing man because

we’re finally getting to see that like

everyone gets to see that now yeah it used to be you

never got to see that of your star

you know stars i

think just 20 years ago were

were much more

likely to to be believing

their own bullshit yeah like

yeah man yeah man

yeah man back they never saw shit and if it got in a

magazine they approved it you know if they

got a newspaper

it had to be like big news like

roman polanski

type news to make it in the newspaper

now man they’re all up in your shit

everyday man

everything is just

taken apart and dissected twitter i’m getting used

to twitter when twitter is not big in australia dude

like two people in australia who

know about twitter

no one tweeted

everyone’s on fuckin facebook

oh no no one

tweeted in australia

some people are

still stuck on myspace well twitter and facebook online

are connected so if i said something on twitter it goes

to facebook it says it there too

dude i so don’t know

about technology

your house is like fucking nasa

in here man

shuttles and shit

like i’m a technology junkie dude


fascinated by

what’s going

on with technology and then

can you seriously live any higher up on a fucking

mountain or whatever you

hear man when i was living in

colorado i got a

nosebleed drawing up here man

dude this ain’t

shit this is

civilization compared to

where i was living

i was living

down i was living

eight miles

down a dirt road on the top of a mountain in boulder

man that’s why i like to live i like to live up and

above so that when like

waves of water or waves

either waves of

water or waves

of retards you see him coming up the hill i

just like being away i think

i’m very sensitive to people’s energy

and people’s

thoughts and

their lives and

their bullshit so i like to be as

when i sleep and when i’m at home

and when i’m riding when i’m by myself i like to be as

far away from people as possible i like man it’s cool

cause all the

houses here are different than all the same

and all the

guarded communities i’ve seen here in the

states cause we don’t have

guarded communities in oz

the houses look

all the same though and up here they’re all different

and on the guard gate there’s two

guards how’s this

two guards named ralph

at once on judy i read the on judy sign there’s

three of them

two of them

are named ralph

when you ever get

through ralph’s together and

maybe it’s a conspiracy

like there’s a rule man in the

world like those

coca cola inventors that had to be at

least 50 feet

apart from each

other at all times you know

it’s like you

never see two ralphs

in the coca

cola inventors had to be 50 feet

apart from each

other you never hear that

urban legend as a kid no

like the inventors

of coca cola or the inventors of kfc kentucky

fried chicken with the

secret recipe

that they carry around on them all the time

must at least be 50

feet apart of

one of them dies the

other so if

one of them dies from

the other one survives wow

could you imagine if a recipe was that valuable the kfc

secret living

herbs and spices

nothing will fuck up your kfc

appetite like

watching one of those peta

videos i love fucking children’s urban legends man

that’s what i told you about

about being a

black belt when the kids said to me in

grade five we’re talking about martial arts

and he’s like

you can’t be any more than a

third damn black belt

in australia or you’ve got to get out of the country

cause you’re then

lethal weapon

and have a license to kill

and i’m like

i believe that for years man

i would probably believe it too i

believe wow you just can’t get too deadly i guess

speaking about

urban legends

do you get the same ones that

we do here did you guys get the richard gear gerbil

rumor oh in the ass yes

i didn’t get that man

cause i we didn’t know what gerbils were

cause we call them

um i think it’s what we call guinea pig and no

we have guinea

pigs too guinea pigs are much bigger though

what’s a drill gerbil’s like a

rat it’s almost like yeah it’s like a mouse

now people genuinely stick

mice up there if you

look if you thought of it someone’s put it up their ass

that’s a fact

and i knew about this i didn’t want to know

about this but i knew

my buddy steve graham who

is a friend of

mine from back when i was like 15 years old and still

still good friends

he’s a doctor and he did his residency

in miami and

he got to see

everything oh dude my students

tell me about

gunshot wounds and

every day they’d be pulling some new

thing out of dude’s

asses doctor

nicolet back in melbourne so doctor friend of mine

great doctor to go to dinner with

cause he’ll tell you our stories for hours

right he has

people to a working dildo the dildo was

still on in a guy’s

colon it was lodged

it went so far fucking

up his inside

and he had to milk it

out of the guy’s fucking

colon and shoot it out of his ass and the dildo was

still on some

other guy went there and had a fucking brim a fish

up his ass a brim

a fucking brim up his ass

the thing that

shocked my friend the most was glass

he said a lot of them have

glass up their ass they’ll

stick bottles and

jars and the jars

breaking oh no the

freakiest one what dr nick

told me was

it wasn’t about

us was two gay guys that came to see him no one gay

guy came to see him and he had problem with his cock

his cock out of this person

shit coming out of it

so dr nick’s had a look at his cock you know he’s gone

i just don’t

know what i’m seeing here dude it’s like what have

what have you been doing

would the reason for this be

so the gay guy

proceeded to tell him he thought well this

might be the reason what him and his gay

lover were doing

that were getting

thin pieces of pipe thin

pieces of piping like this

thing right

long pipes he would

stick it into his urethra

and then connect the

other end to his gay

lovers urethra

and then they

would piss back

and forth they

would piss between

their cocks

so he was pissing into his

lover’s cock

and then his

lover pissing back into his cock

and he’s going to the doctor saying doc

my cocks will fucking

pass over it why

and doctor nick’s like why the fuck do you

think you were sharing

urine with another

human being you

dirty with a

metal through your dick

it’s probably the

metal rod through the dick that fucked him up more

than the piss he seemed back and forth this piss is

basically sterile oh and what was the other

oh the other

story he told me

about this fat

chick that came in one day like mega fat like

you know what’s eating gilbert

grape that fucking big fat chicken five hundred

pounds that’s huge

what do you guys use kilos use kilos kilos it

should be like

two hundred and eighty kilos

two hundred i

can bono size five hundred pounds

sounds better though

yeah five hundred

pounds that’s like your kazoo size

helos are just too big

so let’s listen

to this fucking gargantuan

behemoth comes in

right and she came in

and she’d stuck her tampon

too far up her pussy

so she asked dr

nick to get it out so he had to get like

the fucking

pliers the tongs

and go in this girl’s fucking cavern

right but she got through all the fat in her thighs

and pulled out her tampon

she came back the next

month with the very same problem

and she was coming back for four

months in a row

with the same problem

sticking her tampon

too far per cunt

to be able to pull it out

so eventually dr nick realized that when he was

cause he’d never looked her in the face

cause you don’t look her

in the face when you’re pulling shit out of her tampon

this time he had he had an inkling

so i was like

he’s sticking tongues up her pussy

and because this girl’s a fucking

animal a fucking beached

whale no one’s ever

gonna touch her veg right

clit’s probably

never been touched

since she was born

so that felt good

so for her he’s

going inside she’s like

oh yeah like that oh my god and he realized

he’s realized that should be

tampons up her

pussy so that he’ll go get him

so who’d go fucking fish in there

and get the tampons

see for a girl like that there

should be a place

where you go

where guys are just finger you

i’m all for that you know when i talk

about being for prostitution

i’m all for i’m for dudes doing it too i’m for

dudes eating girls pussies and

fingering them

it gets me that bro i

never understood what the big deal is

about getting a hand job

you get a massage

girl though

it’s way more of a big deal

for a girl what i’m saying for girls is

that would be a

sweet spot for them like a

store where they

could just anger

and there’s like a hole

in the wall and hands

just go through and just that way

you don’t have

to go out with some dude just because you need

you can just fucking

you know you’d be all right when

you can get

it when you really want it get into a relationship

nice clean sterilized hand

a little bit of clitoral

stimulation during your

lunch break

garlic takes ten minutes

listerine kills all the germs every time

you’re done back to a high

powered afternoon in the office yeah i mean

come on let that guy eat your box and just finger by

you you feel so much better

so we all know what

you’re doing

when he retires from

ufc commentary

no so we have the

world’s first

chain of self fingering sello

we need more progress in this

world before the

world’s ready to accept my ideas sir

true you know what i’m saying finger bang

stations the hole in the wall

where guys can just go and

stick their junk in a fucking glory hole

and get tossed off by some

chick on the

other side of the hole

yeah what i suggested was there will be so

much frustration it

would be like a pew

like one of

those things where you

do confession what are those

professional is that what it’s called

and i go inside the professionals they kneel on a pew

okay yeah so you’re in this little

phone book type

phone booth type situation

and you have a monitor in

front of you you can

watch some porn

yep and she just

sticks her hand

through a hole in the wall oh even better you can even

watch the monitor

of the girl on the

other side mmm

jerking you off

yeah but what if she’s

gross like you

shouldn’t even have to be good looking this way

that’s true

i’ll just do is just be good at jerking dudes off look

at this that way you don’t have to see her franchise

coming you know

house of hand

watch watch

how hand jobs

you don’t even get to see what’s happening

below your waist

yeah that’s a

trained professional

after ten minutes you’re

right the tensions

gone the stress is gone

and you just ready for

free for the

day we can’t handle that shit here in america

yeah we’re a

bunch of pussies yeah

we don’t want it we don’t want it

we want people to

be repressed we want people to just be non sexual and

we want people to be a

slave to whatever relationship they’re in

to you americans are

super paranoid man yeah if i

was what if i

was living here and

watching your news

every night i

would fucking be scared to look at my

in the united

states of america you are

right now in

the balls of the dick that’s fucking the world

all right this

is a crazy ass

place to live

it is fucked man

it’s fucked

everyone is paranoid

there’s too

many people here

analyzes fast

stuff far too much

it’s crazy man

you watch fox news

that’s the worst

that’s from by an aussie rippin murdock

yeah yeah it’s

fucked up nice

i watch fox news just go what the fuck are you doing

talking about it is too much

everyone is i mean it’s and you know it’s a

self fulfilling prophecy too

like they they they

literally manifest

their own war

against the

liberals and

it wasn’t fox news it was that

whole thing

about when bush was

voted in for the first time

and fox news

did something

about the voting polls

you know when bush big gore

and gore was actually the guy that won it but bush

got in and fox news had

something to do with the way that they told voters that

bush had already won

but some votes somewhere hadn’t been done

or counted i

don’t fucking know how it works here in america but

nobody knows how it works

david he wrote something

about it man

david he wrote something

about in one of his books

you know what i love i love when one

when a politicians gets busted for something

sexual anything devian anything

sexual fox always

makes them a democrat

they do it’s a long running joke

it’s a long running joke but if there’s some guy

he gets caught

you know fucking his babysitter

something like that it’s a bam

dee vermont

you know it’s

always even if the guys are republican they always

write them down as a democrat if

you’re a politician

that the sexual

stuff you get caught for

should just be the most dirtiest fuckin

disgusting depraved shit

ever i mean you’re

gonna go down as a politician

go down fucking

in flames man

with some deprived shit do you remember that dc

madam do you know that story

there’s a dc

madam who is running some

chain in washington dc

and she you know had all

these high powered

senators and congressmen all

these people on her on her

on her list of you know john’s

and she was

gonna release it

and there was some fucking

crazy attention she gave you know

press conferences and the whole deal

and then she committed suicide

oh just conveniently committed suicide and

no one said a fucking thing

no one said a thing

no one was like wait a

minute hold on

wait a minute

you’re telling me that this woman

right now getting more attention than ever possibly

set to make a million dollars

she’s deciding to hang herself

oh she hung herself

cause i could just

picture like

easy i don’t know

every politician

a book like

forty of them just cock slapping her at once we

could google what

what they did to her or what what she supposedly did

definitely got cock they killed her ass dude yeah

they killed her ass

my favorite one was there was a

story about one of the enron


who committed suicide by

shooting himself in the head twice

i’m not kidding man

i’m not kidding he shot himself in the head

twice i wish i

could remember the

all the full

details the

story but that’s

the corners report was that he shot himself

which i guess is possible you

could shoot yourself in the head and

fucked up and

you’re still

alive but you’re your jack

fight club stop it

and you know the

other is that

they didn’t fight

yeah remember

ed norton’s character like

blew off half his face

and yeah i got

bored with that

movie once i

found out he was two different guys yeah it was like

i was like wait a

minute what

you just making it now yeah

so this guy wasn’t even real

wait a minute what the fuck did i

watch then dude

would you rather

watch that or piranha

piranha was pretty drunk

the cock out of its mouth

dude right it was gross

fuck but if you’re in the

mood for a dumbass

when the chick got her

face ripped off in the motor propeller

it was cool that was nasty

man it was totally ridiculous though

i mean the most

ridiculous movie ever insane fucking i liked

jerry o’connell’s girls gone wild oh awesome

right that was pretty cool yeah

that’s like i mean if there’s anybody can

root for getting

dickie it’s

ariel cunnel i still like him from

stand by me

no not him you know i’m saying a girl’s gone wild guy

oh girls come on

yeah yeah yeah you know i’m saying

he played the character

i was watching

hd net the other night

and i got some

dirty shit of hd that man

i didn’t see

it wild yeah

and i was watching

that girls kind of wild guy like hanging out with

those girls i’m like

that would be the

saddest thing

ever if that was your

daughter if your

daughter was hanging

around with that dude you’re like oh shit are you

watching this you see what’s going on

this guy really

can you imagine a dad and

watching it yeah

but he’s even

creepier to me than hefner

there’s something

super creepy

about that see i’ve

admit hefner i

would love to get the playboy mansion that man

i’ve been there

it’s not that big a deal it’s just a

house in the hills it’s like dated

you know i mean i

guess it’s like

retro but the grotto has like this old

circuit box this old

phone i mean it’s a dope

house it’s a beautiful

piece of land and

everything i’m not saying it’s not

i’m just saying

when you get there you’re like oh well this is just

kind of a cool

house in the hills

it’s just one of

those things

where everybody likes to put parties

there and so that’s what they kind of sell it as

the strike force

to right strike

force has done it

i’ve been to

i had one a few weeks ago that was

kickboxing and boxing yeah

cause andrew

simon from h

then it went

well in that way it’s kind of a cool

place to go

you know to go see something there yeah it’s

kind of a cool but i’ve been to parties there before

i guess they get

crazy that’s what

dude tomorrow i go to new york for the

first time yeah

i’ve never been to new york

all the times i’ve been here to the us i’ve

never been to

new york so tomorrow we go to new york the

death star five

nights man would you

drive up the west side highway

and you just see the

enormity of the city as it

starts to rise in

front of you you’ll

play star wars

music for real

really ask ask if you

could drive in on the west side highway

if that’s possible

and ask you know if you

could play the star wars

music awesome and just don’t

the first time i drove there from boston

i couldn’t fucking believe how big it was

right the first time i was in the city

i went twice i went once

for a karate

tournament in madison

square garden

nineteen eighty two or something like that

you fought in

it yeah so you can say you fought at the garden

yeah there was like a

karate tournament there yeah

yeah and then there was i

think it might have been i don’t know

if it was there’s like two parts of the garden just a

smaller part

in the bigger part i don’t know you know how much they

how much space they had i was

young i barely remember it

but when i came back to do as a

stand up i was you know

know much more

aware of what was

going on and when i drove up

i drove up the west on highway and saw it for the

first time i remember

going god damn

how fucking big is this like why did they keep

building here have you been to

tokyo no you

haven’t been yet

you’re gonna come with me to k1 and when you see tokyo

it is fucking insane it’s like that

sochi can drive for 40 minutes

or an hour and it’s

still built up skyscrapers they

never fuckin end

you look out your window and all the way to the fuckin

horizon all you see

is concrete

it is fucking it the

tokyo is insane is

that is it bigger than new york

i think it’s bigger land wise

there’s more people there’s 30 million people in

13 million of the fuckers

in tokyo man

and still nobody jaywalks can you imagine

you’ve got shibuya

crossing the busiest

crossing in the world

and fucking thousands upon thousands of people

but in japan no one jaywalks

i’ve been walking to

breakfast at four

o’clock in the morning when i’m jet lagged four four

thirty in the morning there’s not a car in sight

for fucking

miles and i’ll be

standing next to a businessman and he

still will not jaywalk

even at 4 30 in the morning we’ll wait

for the little man to turn green

why is that

they’re fucking

weird like zombies over there

everything is regimented

on the streets

no one screams

no one swears

no one beeps

their horns

there’s no graffiti

everyone smiles to each

other everyone is

courteous to each other

it is like a fucking mind boggling overly polite

utopia if you’re into that sort of thing

if you could

speak english it’d be

it’d be amazing

if they spoke english

it isn’t insane

the culture

is insane at the

fight shows you’ve seen the

fight you hear a

pin drop yeah

you can hear a pin drop

sixty thousand people

forty five thousand of dynamite last year

we used to do eighty thousand for k one eighty thousand

sixty thousand were in osaka

and still they

appreciate moves and get golf clap

you know you

get a fucking golf clap it’s an amazing

culture amanda

the tokyo experience i want

you to come with me one day in your fucking life well i

would love to to go see k1 i’ve always want to see

k1 grand prix

live i’ve always want to see that yeah it’s

gotta be i’m a big fan

of it and that’s one of the reasons why i love hd net

fights you know it’s like fuck

you know finally

you know mayhem and i were talking

about it when we did

inside mma i saw that

you may have

not cuban on that it was great

we were talking

about how it used to be if you wanted to

watch k1 you had to get

these fucking grainy vhs tapes or

get some shit off the internet

but now you can

watch it in high def you know

it’s fucking

awesome scary

witching some of the

people don’t know how

exciting that is who

don’t know k1 you have no

idea but you know because most of

what people like in the ufc

is striking that’s what the average person like

striking like

people boo and

shit goes to the ground happens all the time

for those people that are just like they just want to

watch some violence

what the fuck is more violent than k1

and who the fuck is more violent than alistar

ovary man fucking

scary yeah somebody in

cracked crack com

wrote that he looks like

he was genetically engineered to fuck your girlfriend

i’m pretty sure it was

crack com i hope i’m crediting the

right people oh man

that’s exactly what he looks like dude he’s fucking

freak which leads me to the question now

cause when we spoke

last time on the

voice verses

the whole rage then was phaidor

versus brock and we

spoke a lot

about fatal

versus brock yeah

and you know

after fatal losing a verdsum that fights

lost its luster completely

yeah so now everyone is like

over in versus brock

yeah what do you

think over i want to see over

in versus fade or two

i want to see that

alice wants that

fight badly

like he is all over we did the

voice versus

alistair over him we shot it in

korea and man he

really wants to

fight fight you know what here’s the

thing with alstar

over him you got to fucking take him down

there’s all that talk of

standing there’s all out the window now

it used to be the guys could

stand without

alstar like chuck

stood with him for a bit

chuck actually shot in for a takedown with him

you know the problem with

alstar was always that he was trying to make 205

yeah that was always the problem yeah

and he wasn’t

dedicated like he is now but once that

motherfucker went up to

heavyweight and

started getting

dedicated he’s

he’s scary as fuck the

thing is like last weekend

he knocked out ben edwards

ben’s an aussie

and i’ve been commentating him for like 16 years

tough fucker though

right tough

fucker very

tough guy alistair

dropped him

three times but three

clean shots and the

thing is that

usually alistair

would get away

with a lot because of his strength and his size alone

but now his technique is just

superb man and

you know he was

training in thailand for like

three weeks at the golden

glory gym in thailand

doing proper muay thai

training though the thai

train is there helping them out

and you can

tell that he’s just lifted his game to another fuckin

level dude he’s

spooky right now oh

spooky his stand up is

spooky yeah

you know i love the fact that he goes

back and forth though i love the fact that he goes into

mma and to respect

a man back and forth probably

the only god doing it at that high

level no one else of course

at that highest

level for sure not even no question

there’s no one even that

compares the

level of k1 that he’s achieved and the

level of mma

i mean cause we’ve always had guys who say like oh

he’s a really good

striker and you know they are for mma

but alstar is a really good

striker for k1 exactly but who can adjust to

mma striking

which is very

impressive man

cause you know the distancing

the footwork is all

completely different from

mma striking

k1 striking so

to swing between them at the two highest

levels is this is an

incinertory dude when he put it to brett

rogers i was like

he threw it man he fucking

threw him it

was it was that

but it was before he

threw him he was fucking him up on his feet

yeah he hit brett

rogers with

he ducked under a

right hand and hit him with a leg kick

and then and then popped out of the way and you

could see the look on

rogers face he was like

there was a

roger was like what the fuck

am i doing here

it was a joke

it was like

oh shit like you know nobody ever kicked him

like that before dude to me it was just like you know

what i’ll just bend over you can fuck me in the ass

cause it’s gonna be less painful

than the beating you’re

about to put on

motherfucker dude

digs that shin

into that meat ba boom

and there was that yeah that look on

roger’s face like for a

second you saw this flash like

god damn he just got hit by

lightning fuck

alice is a freak

i’d be cleans up on the

that’s a big problem to me that there’s all

these organizations if there was just the ufc

we would know who is the best but alstar

would not have gotten to become alstar if it wasn’t for

fighting all

these other organizations you know

i mean there’s not enough

fights in the

ufc there’s not enough

you know there’s not

enough shows there’s only so many shows like we need

other organizations

but i just wish they

could fucking just

figure out a way to work it out

where they get to fight each

other just all come together as friends for one

night for one

night the problem

is and then

maybe you and i

could come and take together finally for once it

would have to

be one night

the problem is that

ufc is such a much

bigger name and they’re

worth so much more

money and it

would lend respectability to straightforward

which would

build up the enemy

you couldn’t really do it unfortunately

business wise fuck

but yeah i’m

rock you know brock is like

the perfect guy to like sell

as like a heavyweight

champion oh fucking no the fucking

skull you know what

worried me man

brock they think brock

fighting alistair

and the way that he turned on

those punches from karwin

oh my god what if yeah if that was alistair

and how about

those knees

no one’s got knees like alstar alstar

knees you into fucking porn

the one he fucked

fujita with on new

year’s eve moved to

gta into a mini coma

yeah he was out

for how long he was fucking out for 10 minutes at least

then they took him to

the hospital and he went in the mini coma at hospital

he was fucked

and lsd said to me

cause i said to him

dude do you ever feel

any remorse

for just fucking

smashing people’s faces and

brains with

those knees

and he goes yeah he goes fujita

he goes i actually felt really bad

after i did it

wow i’m like

what about to

share a man you almost killed that

fucker in the

grand prix i thought to

share it was dead

he’s like yeah to

share it was

harsh he goes but fujita

he actually

was troubled by it he felt really

sorry well i

think it was cause

fujita had already

been knocked out and been

stopped a few times and he was old it’s a legend and

i respected

the hell out of him

man that his body

clearly didn’t look the same anymore he didn’t

look like an athlete anymore i was just fucking violent

and you remember when he ford

james thompson in

dream yeah the

standing guillotine yeah

he just say the muscles and

he walked him back well he’s fucking what’s up with you

man he tab v

tour fucking

awesome who else is tab v

tour that with a guiting

you know all stars

nasty bro he’s

nasty he’s nasty

you know what brock lesnar

versus alistar

would be a dream

match but brock’s

gotta get past kane

velasquez dude

that is ripe for

i wouldn’t call it an

upset i was

gonna say is

right for an

upset but i don’t call it an

upset if cain

beats brock

because cain

has all the weapons

to be able to beat brock

cain might be the

motherfucker yeah

he might be the

motherfucker yeah

you know i think brock is a is

a handful for any man on the planet

he proved in that last

fight that he’s got

like a serious ability to overcome adversity and still

got it out and make it through he didn’t tap he didn’t

freak out he

covered himself up he protected himself

and he was getting bombed on by

other than him the biggest

strongest fucking guy in the division

you know he’s

definitely the best

puncher in the division and no one

punches as hard as carl and

carl he’s got

wrecking balls you

know he just

dropped bumps

he got through all that

made it through that first

round and then came out and won it immediately into the

second so he’s

he’s overcome adversity

believes in himself he’s a winner

that’s all well and good though

kane velasquez is a fucking

storm that you know here’s

something something that bob cook said they were

they were talking

about one of the

fights that

came to just fucking

i think was rothwell

just ran him over

you know and

he said well you know

the thing with

fighting kane is

you always think that you’re just

gonna ride out the storm

he goes but the

storm doesn’t end

that is what that guy does when the

storm doesn’t end it just

punches and kicks and punches and kicks

and fucking takedowns and

punches and kicks and punches kicks

and you’re like

where is this motherfucker getting all this cardio from

he does it all with

power man that’s the

scary thing it’s all fucking with power and he

doesn’t fade

yeah he doesn’t fade he comes out strong in the third

when he molested

check congo

and that’s what that match was that was a

three round molestation

i mean he took bombs bomb big shots on the jaw

knees buckle

almost goes down and then

three seconds

later he’s executed to take down his inside control

and he’s smashing them

you know i mean

that was just like that was overwhelming

man there was overwhelming what he did to that guy

he’s a motherfucker

dude i can’t wait for that i can’t wait to see

tito come back

you know i’m looking forward to that as well

but man brock

brock and colin

it’s gonna be nuts

sorry brock and kane

and then man i want to see alistair

versus brock one day

course you know i was

thinking i want to see a

star i mean i

would like to see

alice our clean out

strike force to

i would like i

think if alstar can

beat verdun that

would be a huge rematch i don’t

think there’s anyone in

strike force honestly that will touch him

well we’ll see

man verduum gets him on the ground i bet verduum

has a saying that i bet he

would try to tap

alstar i bet he

thinks he can

he did you know he’s capable

of doing it didn’t he do it before didn’t he tap

alstar he did like what

pride 2007 or

2005 he’s a different

guy man that’s true

but guess what

different verdoom too

verduum just getting off of that

victory over phaedor he

thinks he can tap any buzz

he’ll jump and fucking guard

you he’ll fly and

guard on you

just to try

to lock you up in his legs you know i was there that

night and its

strike force when fatal

tap that was surreal

shit dude watching that ring side

that was surreal i’m bad

i would have like

to have seen that one it

was sad it was crazy

why sad no big deal just got caught i

think it’s happy it’s

happy that we’re doing pulled it off

verduum’s a bad


for the doom man and he’s awesome but it

was sad to actually be present at the

one night where fader actually loses now

as opposed to

never have been present in any of his other

fights yeah nah it’s not sad though you were there

it’s no big deal you can

appreciate all the

other ones too yeah

you know i mean he’s

a special athlete he’s a very very interesting guy to a

very fascinating

personality but

the bottom line is the only way to get through a

guard like verdoom

is you got to

train with a guy like verdoom

if he was training with guys like verdoom we would hear

about it we

would hear oh

you know he just went down and he’s

you know spending

three weeks with minotaur

minotaro is

gonna work on his guard

yeah you know you don’t hear

about all that shit so he’s

basically working with

these guys that are pretty good they’re decent and he’s

got so much

confidence because he’s undefeated in 10 years

and he thinks he can just fall into verdun

guard you’ll be just

punch them in the face you

can’t do that with verdun

yeah it was a cattle

mistake man and i

could just last night

on another level yeah

you don’t appreciate

i’ve rolled with guys like for doom before

and not that

level but like jean jacques machado

he’s that level as far as international

and they just run through you i mean

just slap shit on you and if you

haven’t felt that

level if you’re not in there all the time

training with that

you can get overconfident

i bet anybody that phaidor

puts in his

guard or they get in

when phaidor gets in someone’s

guard in his camp

i bet he just runs through him

he postures up

breaks free

nobody probably taps him with triangles

but he slaps that shit on like like a fucking

octopus from hell

just like bitch you ain’t

going nowhere

fucking just attacks and adjusts and attacks and

every time fade or defends he gets deeper in the hole

the fight was held on for as long

as he could man

but when he

was like oh my god he’s fucking tapping

he’s gonna get his arm broken

his arms were

about to go

you know he’s a bad

motherfucker but he just made a mistake yeah

everybody needs to work

with the best guys it used to be that everybody was

you know you

could be able to have

like this little camp and it was just you and a couple

other guys that you

trained with but i don’t

think you can rock it like that anymore

i think the

levels just gotten too high

everyone’s got to

train with the

best guys well this is the reason why golden glory

in holland have so much

success in k1 and also

mixed martial arts because the best guys are there

not only and they’ll

fight each other and they’ll fight each

other and like semi

shot now so they’re

gonna fight each

other they’re

gonna fight each

other and they’ll go for broke

errol zimmerman

fought semi schlt

earlier this year and he went for

went for broke on

semi you know they’re both from the same gym

and when they spa together over in holland

their sparring sessions are as hard as k1 fights

they have like this day they call meet wednesday

and everyone on wednesday

just goes in the gym just beats the fuck out of each

other like a k1

style fight

and these guys are best mates asaki

will beat on zimmerman

the two best mates

would beat the fuck out of each other

smart you know

that’s how they

trained in holland

but that’s not only a golden

glory that’s at every

dutch gym it’s always been the

dutch style the

ties go hard

a completely opposite

the ties will go late into

barring the

ties will go

light inspiring

heavy on pad work

ties are always ferocious on

pads and on bags

but inspiring the

ties spa light

the dutch go

light on the bags and the pads

but they fucking cane each

other inspiring

that’s such a

dutch way of approaching

things it’s just a mate and then you got guys like

you know one of the sparring partners is ramon

deckers man

right i mean ramon

deckers maybe the

greatest moyed tie

fighter ever

and he’s golden glory

one of the head

trainers him and core

hammers and

just it’s an amazing

attackers you

know bad motherfucker dude

when it was deckers and rob carmen

with with rob cameron

i train around a

legend and he’s

elbows with

phenomenal yeah

everything about him his leg kicks

everything and he’s

super cool guy rob came is like the nicest


guy one of my mates

trains or used to

train with him costas

mandel or the actor

you know yeah i

know that guy is yeah i’m

gonna make cosy in new york he’s over there promoting

saw the new saw film that he’s got for

3d so it wouldn’t

catch up and

man he’s been friends with rob for years

dudes fucking badass to

train such a

great guy yeah

yeah a lot of holland people are nutty man holland’s a

crazy place huh

the red light

district and the red

light district

last time i was there was 2007

and you can just get weed in the coffee shop and i’ve

never been anyway

you it’s took us out for the night

peter likes to party

right took right

peter arts is

he’s a multiple time k one

three time k one

world champion

bad motherfucker bad

still in there sling 40

years old he

still qualifies for the

grand prix look fucking good man

credible man

this body was yoked looks like he’s obviously been

trained like a


insane but you know what

guy going man one of the nicest

human beings i’ve ever fucking met

super nice like

greets me with a hug all the time he’s always laughing

just you know he took us out in 2007 it was me ray cefo

and a few of

peter’s mates went to the red

light district

dude all the stories you’ve

heard about the red

light district

they’re true well

peter it’s it’s

smoking weed all day

peter wertz had a fucking case

of joints in his pocket that he

would rip out

and his best mate open the

third ever coffee

house in amsterdam

in like 1967

so he was like a

pioneer of weed in amsterdam

right don’t you

think people

would be surprised if they

found out how many high

level fighters

and mma guys

smoke weed ridiculous

it’s a big number you

go to the show there in amsterdam at amsterdam

arena and midway through

when they have intermission you go outside to the

smoke section

and it is just fucking weave

central like

moving through the

midst of all this

marijuana smoke it is

i’ve smoked weed with a lot of

ufc champions oh man

i believe it i fucking

believe it a lot of the k1 guys a lot of the mma

guys i know a lot of bad


like that weed

a lot of fucking nick diaz is not the only one

yeah nick diaz

had the greatest

quote of all time nick diaz is

fighting tonight we’re

gonna see it in half an hour

nick diaz had the

greatest quote of all time

he said i don’t

think pot is getting in the way of my

mma career i think mma

is getting in the way of my pots broken

i love it man

that’s a fucking great i

think fighting’s getting

in the way of my weeds

when you see that

video that diaz put on youtube after the

voice versus my him

he’s driving

he does that

video it’s like he puts the camera down and does this

i’m like how much fucking putt do you actually fucking

smoke man that was crazy

he has fan to the bone oh man him and his brother

i love those unbelievable man

those dudes are entertaining those are

together to get of amsterdam with those two in

my district

are you kidding me that

would be running through god damn

all the cafes

for all the fucking hookers in the windows

oh man we can

order anything over there we

might be the

first people to die from weed

maybe the first

we might fuck up the whole cars

do the weed is a menu

it’s like you go to a restaurant here you get a

giant menu there it’s a menu of weed

you’ve got like

i’d say about 30 variations to choose

from well we have that here it’s

crazy you know we have that in these medical

places i’ll take you to one

i’ll take you to one when we’re leaving here hell yeah

yeah you gotta go you

gotta see this cause it’s the craziest

thing ever you go can i get a cat plug johnny

drama did in ultras

i can’t sign yeah they got

lollipops soda

really yeah all kinds of candies cookies cakes

brownies do you need holland

yeah mushrooms and the just a big

chalkboard you can buy

it all man big chalkboard like one of those dry erase

boards filled with like different

strains and this is how much it is announced

as much as an eighth

amazing they have

50 60 varieties

everywhere all the time

like sativas very difficult

to grow there it’s like it’s harder to grow than indica

sativa sativas

like spaceweed yeah

well you go to the

place near my

house ten different varieties oh really that’s insane

different varieties of sativa

that’s crazy it’s hard

sativa and when you’re living in the east

coast where it’s illegal

hard as fuck to get a

good sativa you’ve got to know somebody who’s a grower

it’s willing to take a chance

to make a superior weed it’s like it

takes more time and so it cost more

money and the yield is

smaller dude when i

was in amsterdam i smoked a

vaporized bong

and it fucked me because

peter goes hey

thank you try this try this

it’s a bong and i hate smoking but i don’t

smoke much anyway

and i’ve smoked

bongs a couple of times but to me they feel

dirty right

right so you put this

thing to my

mouth and i’m like

computer i can’t see anything here

no effect nothing goes no no this do it again

peter i can’t fucking i don’t

think it’s lit nothing about

oh fuck almost like what the fuck was

that it comes out it’s miss

right you couldn’t say it it’s invisible

for people who don’t know what a vapor is

does is it heats the thc

to a point where it

doesn’t burn the plant material

but it burns off the thc and makes a

vapor out of it invisible

you cannot see it well

you can sort of see it i didn’t know i was breathing

exhaling any

smoke nothing you

sort of see it but it looks like not much

it doesn’t like you get used to like see

smoke a joint

take a deep breath

blow it out there’s a big

cloud in front of you this is not a big cloud i was

expecting big cloud i was like fucking i wanted her

it’s a pure sensation too it was

crazy man it was like

crazy there’s something in the burning of the

plant too i wonder if that has a psychoactive effect

like i wonder if there’s a psychoactive

effect from the actual burning of the leaves

like maybe together

those things like

maybe it calms you a bit or something

because there’s like hundreds of different

do you think there’s

leaves do you think there are

leaves out there though

on shit out there that no one has thought to

smoke that is yet to be discovered as smokeable

do you think like

there’s like mud or dirt out there that someone could

maybe roll into a fuckin

piece of paper and smoke it

and no one’s like smoked that mud

or that fucking seashell

or that fucking a sea

urchin that you can

smoke it there’s

gonna be shit out there that no one had discovered

you could smoke yet

for sure plants

i mean if you look at the amazon

wasn’t marijuana

discovered like we discovered from goats eating it

really like fucking

in ancient days goats were eating it and then goats

were swaying in the paddocks

so the farmers are like hmm

the goats eat this strange looking

weird and they stumble in paddock

we must try to eat it

where the hell do you hear that

that’s what one of my friends was telling

it might be another aussie

urban legend but i

heard it was goats discovered weed

yeah that doesn’t even make

sense the goats

would hi on

i don’t fucking know man you telling me there’s ten

different types

of ceviches

whatever it’s even

ceviche ceviche

that’s fish

that’s fish cooked with lime

all i know is when i did that

vaporized bong

twenty minutes

later i was in a

place called banana bar

and some fucking

dirty hooker was

shooting these

giant dildos out of her

pussy and hitting me in the chest

and i would keep

backing up five paces

and she was

shooting these

giant dildos like

thick fucking

things out of her

pussy and hitting me always

smack on the

chest oh my god and then another one

would come over

and she had like a textile like

a marker yeah

she goes what’s your name i go michael

so she had a postcard

and she sticks the marker in her pussy

hovers over the postcard

and dude with

perfect penmanship

in perfect fucking cursive writing

right she writes to michael

love banana bar

like oh my god on

the fucking

postcard from her pussy

perfect penmanship how does the postcard stay in place

i’ve still got it at home i don’t have to stay in

place i don’t know

she had her toes

as i heal her heel

because she squatted over it so what

holds the postcard

as her pussy

does this and

writes perfectly to michael love


banana bar it was fucking

incredible night man i wonder what made

them come up with that i wonder if they’re wondering

we need something new for this business we

are not getting enough people in here no but i wonder

if this is a type of shit the girls do at

slumber parties when they’re young

yeah they’re a little bit

drunk or maybe it’s

time like hey let’s

stick a fucking pin in our pussy

and try and

write our names

maybe maybe yeah if

you’re hanging out with a

bunch of freaks

how do you discover this

talent i wanted to go to that girl and go

how did you know at what

age do you know you can

write with your pussy

in perfect cursive

if i had a guess i

would i would

guess it do it

something whatever the equation was involved a dude and

money that’s how

a pen got up your pussy

well how do you

shoot john to

that or you did a

favor for him but it’s a douche do that

did he left you in a hotel room and all he stuck was a

pussy a penny a ladder with your pussy

when i when i look at it i know that it’s your

pussy that wrote that come on

all right i can’t even

write with my pussy i’ve seen some you can

write with your pussy

then what about the girls on macau

have you ever been to macau

what is macau

macau’s like a 45 minute

boat ride from hong kong it’s between

china and hong kong

it’s a tiny casino island

yeah it’s like the vegas of asia it’s a

crazy madhouse casino

island it’s fucking insane

but i’ve seen some dirty ass sex shows in macau

with this one chick had the darts

the darts in her pussy

and there were balloons up on the ceiling and with

pinpoint fuckin sniper precision

she would lean back fire a dart

pop the balloons one after the other jesus

christ another chick had

razor blades

right strung together

and she reaches into her vag

and pulls out

this line of razor blades one after the

other and you’re

thinking oh

that’s bullshit that it’s made of plastic or something

then she grabs the razor

blades and to show one of the ones that came out of her

pussy gets a

piece of paper

slices a piece of paper

i’m like that’s fucking sick yeah you know

that’s funny that you just brought that up because

there was a conversation we had on here last week

about the hookers in vietnam

whether or not they really did put

razor blades up the

pussy i’ve seen it

i have seen it well you see a

razor blade

razor blades come out of the

pussy so they easily

could have done that to gi’s like

stuck a razor

blade in there and then the guy fucks them and it cuts

their dick in half

man one of my

mates in australia fingered a girl on a club once and

he went to finger her and he felt scabs inside her

pussy oh my

she had scans in her

pussy oh my god

i know i was like

he said a lot of you

shake my hand like

fucking touching that hand put a fucking

glove on oh my

scabs in her

pussy are you

stick it in your box

honey yeah exactly

right there’s some evil shit

going on down there

girls say the guys balls look disgusting and

wrinkled and shit

but man i don’t

some girls sometimes need to get a mirror and

stand over it and look down and see how fucked up

their vegs look

some girls got some fucked up pussies happening man

really the ones that the big flappy fucking lot on the

fucking lips

like that you get a like

i like dude

i like that man

i’ve seen ones that fucking hang

down like that man it’s like

what the fuck

the trippiest

thing ever is when you look at female bodybuilders and

you see the little dicks that they’re growing the clit

because of the

roids cause i used to edit

a bodybuilding

magazine back in the day so i used to

interview a lot of female


and their clit

comes like that like a

small dick but

they are i never

i never fucked any bodybuilders before i was told

being in the industry

is like they are the horniest fucking cunts out there

female bodybuilsters

right and because all you need to do is

touch their big

penis clitoris

and i basically have an orgasm like

insanely sexually

sexually excited

creatures all the time

get sometimes the doctor a doctor will put a

woman on testosterone for something like we’ve got

some sort of an ailment you know

usually they got skin disease

when they’re young

the girls will go on

on on steroids on


it’s a shame because one of my friends

she’s a photographer back home and when she was

young i’ve seen

photos of her

she was a beautiful beautiful young girl

but then she

started to develop

skin problems and bad acne that was something hormonal

and she had to go on steroids to get rid of it and then

now she’s fucking fucked up ugly like bad the poor

thing she’s fucked up she looks like a man

our nickname for her behind her back is unimar

she looks like a fucking animal wow but yeah she used

to be beautiful

she was hot when she was young

and then unfortunately how young

uh you know when

she was fucking

eight nine years old

what the fuck hot

cute kid what the fuck is

wrong with you know

well there are some girls though that

start out really pretty and something some

monkey wrench

goes along the way and then the

the design of the universe decides to take it back

right you’re not hot anymore

right i’ve seen that happen

girls were really

pretty when they were like thirteen or fourteen

and then you

graduate high

school and you run into when they’re like

twenty two twenty

three and you’re like what happened

i saw the girl that i used to fantasize over in high

school lisa

right and she was

like dude the girl that everyone wanted to fuck in high

school she was the it girl

she was like

the one and

and i recently

chatted to another

friend of mine on facebook that was at the girls

school that was sister

school to our

school back then

and i was talking

about this lisa

girl i’m like wonder what lisa’s doing now or if she’s

still hot she goes oh

i saw lisa recently she’s got

three kids and i’ve got a

photo of her do you

wanna see it i’m like

yeah bring it on

dude she was fucking disgusting

i’m like no way that’s lisa my friends

like that’s what your it girl looks like now do you

think that she does the same

thing every time she

watches k one

that’s michael shivaro

i’m so glad i didn’t fuck him

cause that’s a telltale

once we age

grace for you

look at that cocksucker

i’m so glad

you know what the

thing is man i weighed myself this morning yeah

are you happy with the results i was

cause i’ve lost a lot of weight recently

since we lost

probably this year i’ve lost about 11 kilos

what’s that

24 pounds yeah about 24 pounds

and like i haven’t been this

had this least weight

since like high

school so back then i was fucking huge man

like a lot bigger than i am now

a lot lot bigger that’s awesome yeah

kevin james has lost like almost 50 pounds

dude i love kevin

james he’s a

great guy you know irene had no idea who he was

really before we came here

today we’re watching king of queens was on tv she’s

laughing your ass off

and i go hey you know he’s really good mates with joe

she goes joe rogan

i go yeah joe knows him really well he’s like in a

movie of years and their

managements the same they’re really

close mates

and she goes oh who is he

it’s kevin james

she probably just never saw the sitcom

just yet but even in so many

movies too now

the sitcom was in australia as well but

she just doesn’t know sometimes you don’t know

sometimes someone will talk to me

about some singer

like oh my god bubba buzz playing here i’m like bubba

buzz really good

man i think bubble buzz playing in new york next week

you know what i’m saying

yeah someone

over and you’ll be like what are you talking

about who is

this and then you find out they’ve sold like

50 million albums all over the

world i didn’t know who

justin bieber was

yeah everyone’s got justin bieber justin

bieber like

who the fuck is this justin bieber

and then i fuck yeah and then i

heard the song on the

radio i’m like

doing this one in the

clothing store wherever i was

and i’m like to irene

i go who is this you guys is this justin bieber i go

this is the fucking little kid that everyone’s talking

about why am i dancing

dude i’m watching a

video and he gets hit in the head with a bottle

somebody throws a

water bottle and hits him in the head and then people

think it’s funny

and everybody’s like

passing it back and forth on facebook i’m like listen

you’re looking at a little

vulnerable 12 year old kid who

probably some

grown cunt has tried

all the fucking

water i mean who’s rolling

water bottle that’s a little boy

little fuck

he’s fucked

but for this

crazy charge at a young age

his development will be forever

secure but i already saw in the bookshop

the biography

of justin bieber

the kids like 14 how much of a biography can you write

what have you done

has he even fucking got a head job yet

what if it was awesome has he

been shaved what if we

just start talking

about chicks he fucks

just makes the justin bieber

pussy diary

he’s like 15

just able to secure a real

solid boner for the

first time in my life

i think i’ll just

use it pubic haired

photographs it and put

it in the center of the book and the poor kid he’s very

small yeah very

small and very

small for like 14 like he’s

gonna be a tiny man a little fuck you know

but they the girls

right now are just like confused like

well he’s up there and he’s singing and

i think i wanna fuck him or something

and dude the

scary thing is that

this scared me the

other day irene’s telling me

about her little cousin her

little cousin

she’s 12 years old and she’s in love with justin bieber

and so she says to irene

justin bieber is a friend of mine on facebook

right and irene’s like okay

thinking it’s a

group or whatever that she likes justin bieber

she goes oh yeah

and justin and i talk

every other

night and he’s a really nice guy

and i’m gonna irene

do you realise that some dude

posing as justin bieber on facebook

who your twelve year old

niece or cousin is

accepted as a friend

that is talking to her and buttering up a

twelve year old

every night

like fuckin

stalkers out there pedophile


who would disguise themselves as justin

bieber talking to 12 year old aussie girls on facebook

it could just

it could just be 12 year old boys

i thought you were

gonna say it

could just be justin bieber

no what could be justin bieber who knows he’s fucking

twelve it could just be

twelve year old boys

get on facebook

i go on twitter i do it all the time you know anybody

could be doing

it hit me i know there’s a lot of like you know

like aston kutcher really does it he really goes who’s

yeah justin bieber’s not out there

twitter and chicks

but i don’t

think that he’s

tweeting a 12 year old girl in melbourne

maybe he is

maybe maybe try to set it up maybe

hook up for

any guys for a down

under two i’ll probably be back in

about 24 months by then i’ll be all blowed up

maybe fun when you leave

i’m saying i mean i have it going on

baby come to america the carnal

age is only 15

in australia you

gotta wait another couple

of years how old you have to be in australia no no

you can fuck at 16

but you can only fuck someone who is

under 18 oh

you can’t be over 18 and fuck a 16 year old

that’s smart

yeah that’s good move yeah that’s that’s you can

stop 16 year olds from fucking

sorry come on

but you guys have a more

relaxed attitude towards a lot of

things over there yeah it’s much more relaxed

when you got out of high

school let me ask

you this because this is the big

thing in america’s

you know america

well i grew up in newton massachusetts and newton was

a you know a lot of

successful people

lived there

know a lot of people who were like

you know doctors and lawyers and they were very

into their kids academic careers and like you know it

was like it was a

school where

was like it was a very good

school like really

highly rated

and everybody was

super ambitious

to get out there and to go to college and to get

things done

when you guys

graduated do you feel like this

enormous pressure

to go make something

of your life no not really the college

system that you have in the

states doesn’t

exist in australia

what is how do you guys do it

so we go high

school right

then after high

school go to university

but we don’t have frets we don’t live on

campus and we don’t move into

state to go to

university in fact

in america wherever i go no one is ever from the

state where i meet them

it’s like you’re from

massachusetts or boston

we’re originally

from massachusetts yeah

okay so you’re from massachusetts you live in in

california right everyone is from a different

state to where they were born

whereas in australia

everyone pretty much remains wherever you’re born

really you grow up you’re born in melbourne

you grow up in melbourne you work in melbourne

have a family in melbourne went to

university melbourne you’ll die in melbourne

no one ever goes to much the

university’s interstate and moves around everyone is

pretty much

where they’re from

and there’s not really that that feel of i’ve

gotta go out and conquer the

world and become a politician or

change the world in any way it’s like

fuck it i finished high

school i’m gonna

relax it’s not even so much go out and conquer the

world is don’t be a fuckin loser

there’s a lot of pressure

go out and you know get a fucking job let’s go get

no the problem

is in australia because

our economy is really good at the moment yours is

now is really good ours really

strong against

against the us dollar

but the thing

in australia

the doll is that

easy to get

the doll is easy to get by

so you can be a bludger and just

claim the doll

every two doll

meaning welfare oh doll meaning welfare

yeah and it’s decent the dolls

i know people that live solely off the doll

really that’s it

how much you get

maybe a fortnight

man you know

for tonight what are you oh sorry

double stills kid

fortnite you don’t have

that word in america

beer motherfucker

fortnite fortnite is too loud

maybe if i’m

my chicks watching the

tutors and i’m trying to get some

pussy of fortnite

you might get

like two hundred and

might i fuck you

in fortnite

fuck you in a fortnite

in the ass darling yes

maybe two hundred bucks

every two weeks two hundred and

twenty bucks

every two weeks

highly livable

you can live

off that yeah i

guess if you had

to and that’s for doing nothing that’s

nothing for what we call in australia a dull bludger

wow yeah and there’s a lot of

those a lot of

dull bludger does that keep everybody calm so

there’s always something even if you’re a fucking loser

you always have something you don’t have to rob and

steal and yeah do you know is

there an argument for that

is there an argument for the

idiots are always

gonna be idiots

losers are always

gonna be losers

just if you give a little bit

money you know who cares this is this way at

least they have something you

hope that they’re invested back into the economy

but no it’s usually invested well

unless you in your

yeah drug dealer were

purchasing the alcohol

but it’s far too easy this

is too many

is that a strategy though

that you know like let’s let people be fucking

losers and just take care of them

and then there’ll be less crime

does that make

sense yeah i

can ask him

i don’t know i

don’t think

i don’t think it’s a strategy the dole didn’t come in

until like 1975

when it was a life

you don’t have it then if people are forced to catch up

right people are forced to

pay their own way and you know yeah

and the bad

thing is though i know a guy who’s on the doll

and he will not get off his

ass to get a job he will not even go for job interviews

he claims that he’s got some

disability or whatever

which he hasn’t

and it’s like

dude my fucking

taxes that i work hard for my

money and i’ve got to give

money to the government pay fucking taxes

then go in your pocket to pay you to

drink alcohol i sit at home all day but i

would rather

give my tax

money to losers and

drunks and idiots

and people with no ambition whatsoever than to war

i would rather

oh look i don’t

you know saying my

money goes to war

and there’s nothing i

could say i’d rather put the fucking

losers to work man

it’s like you know what you want the doll

you’re gonna fucking go and work in this

plant you’re

gonna work in this factory you’re

gonna fucking

send these mails out you’re

gonna do shit

you’re gonna go volunteer in

fucking hospitals that’s a

great idea you know

or in canteen

or somewhere

where they need

you and volunteer your time and your services

and be qualified for

losers per capita in america

or in australia

like what like the percentage of

losers as opposed to regular people

what do you qualify as a

loser is a homeless person a

loser just because a homeless there

for fuck yeah you lost

like you’re homeless you lost i mean you might

not you’re not

gonna be a loser for life i’m not saying that this is a

death sentence

i’m saying america you

guys are got a lot it

disappoints me for the most pallets

powerful country in the world a lot of homeless

right america

to its sadness

man you know

there’s a lot of insane

people you know one of the reasons why the homeless

population rocketed in the

1980s just because ronald reagan

in his administration they

changed the definition

of insanity

so there’s a lot of people that were in fucking

asylums man like well

you’re all right we were

wrong you’re not crazy

just fucking

get out there get your

freak on i never

understood it man and it’s

mental illness my only

exposure to

people being homeless when i was a kid growing up and

watching american tv was

watching the

brady bunch

and how they

used to run away from home when you’re a kid

i have to think that’s how people

ended up homeless by running away from home

some people did man you

know how many people ran away from home and just became

fucked up hollywood

this is the

point have you

driven around down we walked

down hollywood

boulevard the

other night

irene’s holding my hand really tight it’s like

lost place lost

place when people look at

hollywood boulevard this is the center of show business

in the world

the fuck it is it’s a shithole

i will give you more fucked up have you been to italy

have you been to rome no

no never you

wanna see the most fucked up

sight in the

world brother and this is sad

you go to the vatican

the most opulent

place on the planet you have no idea the

money that is fucking dripping

off every building in the vatican

and the vatican

and the catholic church as a


but immediately before you set foot in the door of the

vatican on the

street there are

the most disgusting disfigured

nailed up beggars you will ever see

arms missing fingers curled around

eyes missing and shit

on the fucking streets outside the vatican

door it makes me fucking sick

wow alright

cause you’ve got that there

there is a vatican you can

touch it there

is some gnarled

up disfigured

gypsy woman

who is eighty years old

and has to sleep on a

sturdy cobblestone

roman street

every night

while the church is

right fucking there

wow and they don’t offer anything

they don’t take them in they don’t feed them it

was disgusting

that’s so strange you would

think that you have to just for show you couldn’t even

allow that right just for show you

gotta the main

strip walk is only one

street you go to to go to the vatican

that main fucking

vr that main

strip and they’re there

and they’re just the most downtrodden

repulsively disgusting beggars you will ever see

and then you’re at the doorsteps of the most opulent

place in the world

it does my hitting

man so strange

it does my fucking hitting

it’s just so strange that they feel like they could let

those people be out

front it would be bad for business man you

would think so

right now apparently berlusconi

when he came in term i’m not

like selling bmws and just

people park

wrecked fuck

up bmws right

buddy dealership

exactly the

thing is that

apparently someone told me that

since i’ve been there bill osconi

has cleaned up all the beggars and the

gypsies and move them but i want

to know even where

where do you move

where do you

suddenly relocate

people pages that was like in beijing the

olympic games

cause i commented the olympics in 08

did you really yeah did all the boxing at the

olympic games did you really

yeah yeah fucking

272 fights in 10 days are

levitated by myself are you a big

just by yourself by myself really

fucking you

could talk about

storm my brother

word man word

be known beijing they relocated one million people

one million people one million were relocated

suddenly to build

the ibc the international broadcast center for the

media and the car park

whoa one million people lost

their homes

virtually overnight

it’s like they wake up one morning and they go

you’re out of here

that’s insane one million

how the fuck did they more

than the entire

population of san francisco that’s moved

virtually overnight

dude you have an idea

after going to the

olympic games and

spending three weeks in beijing

i came back and i told everyone

if the fuckin chinese ever

wanna take over the world

they will do it in the

space of a fucking month

the way they the amount of people they have

and the organisation they have

and the manpower and the ability and the

technology and

having seen that in

japan as well that

whole region

korea japan

china they will fucking take over the world

easily in a

month and we may as well just bend over

take the fuckin rice up the ass and go okay

we are your

slaves cause

seriously the

olympic games was phenomenal

it was incredible what is it

about them that makes them so dangerous why is it

their willingness to work hard

yes sacrifice

their life for

their for their job it is

their pride

self pride and national pride do

willingness to work extremely hard for very little

money and just for

self satisfaction and

add to that the sheer

number the numbers they have the manpower is


dude you go to one of

those yeah that is

kinda just on our

level that we can relate to you go to one of

those k1 shows in japan

and the amount of people they employ to set up the

arena and set up the ring and

the cameras

it is insane

people that i see set up jobs for fox

sports back home

that’ll take two guys to set up a

particular camera

they’ll use 10 guys to set up

a camera and

they’ll get it done in like a

quarter of the time

and the ring is

taken apart not by

let’s say a

group of 15 people like a show in australia

but you’ll get 300 guys and as soon as the show ends

they come in in helmets

and little cars

and that ring is

taken down in 10 minutes

it’s like it’s like it’s it’s like vultures

going in and

stripping the flesh off

it’s because they they have so many people there

that they work harder like what is it so many people

they work hard

but they work diligently and they work together

it’s like it’s like a colony of

ants all the

ants are pulling together for the colony

no one ant is just on his own working on his own agenda

it’s like we’re all pulling together

and therefore we form

one giant colony of just

take over wherever we want it’s fucking amazing

it’s scary it’s amazing well what they’re

able to do with getting people to work incredible

hours and live in dorms and shit i mean that’s

spooky as fuck

the japanese

if you ever been inside a

tokyo apartment

this room here

would be considered a fuckin mansion

really i once went in

a room in tokyo a

tokyo apartment the bed

was in where the

kitchen was

was in where the toilet was

or the bathroom just

one big room

one big room

well we have that here we have

studios you know you can get a

studio that’s

basically that’s it it’s just a

spot to live from the end of the bed to the front door

was from here to

where that knee is on you wow

that’s how much room you had to move

and the stove is there

so you could

literally so it’s like the

worst hotel room ever

worst hotel room ever and then

shrink it like rick moreno’s

honey i shrunk the

hotel room down

you couldn’t

swing a cat in there

it’s crazy yeah i’ve seen some of the guys

apartments when they show those

clips for k1 and for

dream and they used to do for

pride where they show the guys

apartment and showed

tiny man where they’re

training you just

there’s no room

to do shit you know tiny ass gyms too tiny

right you see

sakuraba’s gym where he

trains or aoki’s gym they’re

fucking tiny

and there’s so little room over there that no one

not many people have pets

what the fuck is it

about people

where we want to

stack everybody on top of each

other like that what is that

i have no idea is that good is there something good

about that i’m not used

to it because in australia but it keeps happening yeah

i mean it happens in america it happens there i mean

in australia everybody

still lives like you do here in a

house with a backyard in suburbs

and the whole high rise

apartment thing

slowly building in

popularity but

still up to

the extent of

these papers

no everywhere

you look no yeah

i’m telling you that west side highway

drive is gonna

freak you the fuck out but everyone

stacked you can’t

have pets you know you can go and ring to pet in tokyo

just to pat one just so you can you can go rent a

cat or a dog for an hour so you can take it to the park

throw a fuckin

little fuckin park

throw a little frisbee

feed it take

it for a walk and then you return it to the shop

what you rent a dog you rent a cat for an hour

that’s ridiculous yeah

what if don’t you get attached

to the dog don’t you develop a relationship to the dog

then you can

maybe rent it for two

hours but yeah

you just rent a pet

that’s a strange world man

they almost are like an alien race

it really is

i mean that

their writing is so different so

completely unrelated

you know if you look at like the writing of

all the european

countries except for you

know except for

hungary or russia

yeah the hungary

a couple of

they all share

the arabic alphabet

that we use yeah they all

share it and when you

go to china and

korea and japan it’s like whoa

you guys are

aliens this is

alien stuff

this isn’t even related to

like this grew

completely independent

of the european

style writing it’s so different

what a better

world the place

would be if everyone

spoke one fucking language would it

i don’t know man i

think it’s cool to

watch all the different branches

no man i think it’s cool

people could actually reason with each

other in one single language dude people

would go to war over eye

color people are

retards all you have to get this

fucking blue eyed cocksuckers to try to take our land

dude people are dumb they find

they want to be on teams no matter what they

always want to find

i try to invent

one universal language ones wasn’t

something called esperenza

or something like that

maybe someone can clarify and

tweet it to us

hmm it was like years ago they

tried to invent

a language called esperanda or esperanza

and it was meant to be one global language

and it never

took off obviously i don’t remember that yeah yeah that

would take a long ass time you have to get it to the

tribes in the african forest it would take

generations because you’d have to

school generations

three or four


to get it down patted


among the masses yeah

most countries in the

world you know

a good percentage of the people are

bilingual in america people are

you know just

english or spanish that’s it

yeah that’s it

everyone’s like english

i mean there’s of course

there’s immigrants in here that

speak all kinds of languages but as far as like

people learning things

very few people

how do you know

how bad the immigration problem here was to

i was driving

to do a king of the cage show in new mexico

and the driver was telling me

about it cause we’re driving along the

the border there from el paso to like mescalero

right and he’s putting it out and mayhem

was in the van with me you know and the guys like

this is where the mexicans run the border

this is where they’re on the border

i’m near myself

why the fuck then do you

call if you’re complaining why the fuck do you call the

state new mexico

seriously of course you’re

gonna fuckin

run if your old mexico is shit and you want to go

i’m going to new mexico

call it something else

it doesn’t matter what you call

they know there’s

over here there’s

money over here

i appreciate ambition man i

think it’s kind of fucked up that there’s

spots in the

world that suck and you can’t

leave them you know i

think it’s kind of fucked up that you can’t just

travel from one

place to another

and just go wherever the fuck you want live

where you want

you know we

can’t let him in we can’t let him in it’s like

really you sure we

carry brother i got held up in toronto

for five days recently

because i had visa problems

because something wasn’t done properly on my work visa

so i got held up in toronto and the way they

treat you like you’re a fucking

like you’re a criminal like you fucking

got a rag on your head and you’re riding a camel

with a fucking bazooka

yeah seriously

cause i got a beard like just

i don’t know what it was you look

like you could be an arab

i think you

could be a terrorist i felt

like i was locked in a fucking detention there was a

lady studying you now lala

there was a french lady sitting there with

three kids and she’d been in that detention

in toronto at the airport

for four hours she was crying

that held her

with her kids for four

fucking hours man that’s sad

but would have

her and her kids are strapped up with dynamite all

right you everything

about that fella

you don’t know

you gotta be fucking careful

their job is tough

i like how canada

doesn’t let in douchebags they don’t you know

fuck you get out of here canada

let people in

but you know

i think you know i just

think as long as you have

aware if you’re

aware of someone’s record

i think you

should be able to go anywhere

if you’re not a murderer you know scumbag you have real

papers if mexico had real papers

you know in america you do a

no you run numbers on people in america

chances are in

2010 you’re

gonna know exactly

what the fuck they’ve done we get all

boat people in australia man that’s our

big problem people sail in boats from

east team or in other

places they rock up on boats and woo hoo

australia and i run off into the fucking jungle

fuck yeah cause australia is awesome

it is awesome you gotta

appreciate that i mean it’s like

why shouldn’t they be able to do that they’re people

i feel like if you

if you have the means

and the willpower to get somewhere that’s better than

where you’re at we should all

allow that you know

what kind of fucking hippie commie socialist

and talk nonsense is this boy

this is america

land of the free home of the brave

and i’m here with australia

my man michael chevello

ladies and gentlemen

strike force is

about to start in

about 30 seconds

so we’re gonna wrap this up

the meeting of the minds yes

we will do this

again my friend

when you’re in town again

sure i’ll be in town

again always a couple of

months we’ll be back michael

chevelle is a cool


and i always

enjoy hanging out with him

and i always

enjoy doing this podcast

you guys are the shit i love you all

thank you very much

and i will see

you probably oh tuesday with joey coco diaz later

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