l
the joe rogan experience
that’s that’s the
music that’s the opening music
because uh me and duncan trestle
are flying to the fucking sky
right now ladies and gentlemen hello hello
we are uh this is worth attempting to do a podcast
from a plane
and we were just having this intense conversation
we dropped an edible about an hour ago yeah
about an hour ago
and i think it’s just starting to kick in
and the conversation was
mostly about the origins of creativity and the
the the sort of non
local feeling when
when you come
up with ideas when you really tap into ideas how
you’re not it’s not really you doing it it’s like
you’re you’re an antenna
right yeah it’s like you’re you’re
tuning into something that’s out there
what’s the word for no i’ve
heard this weird new
age word for it too and i can’t remember
one that uses one that everybody likes to use for
creativity no some kind of like universal library
or something there’s a name for it some kind of like
there’s like some universal
matrix of information
that’s non local that
mystics tune
into and channel and that’s kind of the source of
i don’t know the
majority of like the real religions out there or what
causes religion
well we got on the subject because duncan has
plans for an isolation tank in his new place
and we were talking
about how the
thing about the tank one of the reasons why you
could be so creative in there
is that you really kind of lose the
whole idea of you
when you can’t see yourself
you know you don’t
nobody else sees you
you’re in total darkness and
total silence
and you can’t feel your body and you have no sensory
input coming in
it’s very difficult to
think of yourself
as oh i’m a red sox fan or you know hey you know
you know me
i’m a democrat till i die
you know you
start you start
thinking you
start and instead
kind of considering the ideas and considering life
you know for what it really is
there’s something
about it just to being
alone like that there just
strips away all the bullshit you know yeah everything
in your waking environment
is an affirmation of whoever you
think you are
you know like when you look at people’s isn’t that the
weirdest thing when you go to someone’s house
and you see all this
stuff on the wall like it’s like
to remind themselves of what they are like
pictures of
their family like they’re
gonna forget that or like
someone will have like an oil
painting that’s the
worst thing i saw
i went to someone’s house
they had an oil
painting of them
with their wife on the mantle
but it’s like what do you need to do you need
to be reminded of what’s happening or what’s the idea
why are you doing that i can see that they just want
to like see it and get a good feeling of
their loved ones on the wall
i could see both ways i
could see that being like sort of a positive
thing like they
appreciate those people
and so they get a little
positive feeling
every time they see him on the wall
but i could also see it’s like
they do it because
everybody else is doing and look at my beautiful
house look at my
how did i get here
we we’ve got a picture of
on our refrigerator one picture
of someone’s
daughter i can’t i don’t even know
who she is now but it’s just this one little girl on an
empty refrigerator it’s the
creepiest thing ever
but yeah we’re
gonna we wanna put
on our cause we have a
space that’s like a mantle area
and we’ve been trying to figure out what to put there
cause we just
moved in and we’re
gonna put one of those like
cheesy football posters that say
pride or discipline
just to confuse everybody
cause it just
doesn’t make
sense why we
would have that
those are awesome
those are so off faith
yeah believing
what is they always had this i was at a weed
store the other day
and in the back room they had ten of them on the wall
and i couldn’t read them
but it was all like passion
and it showed like a guy
running near a mountain you know it’s like what
determination
there’s an eagle coming in for a kill like
but i mean i get i
get the idea of you wanting to be inspired and you know
i enjoy being inspired
but there’s something
about people that only post
cool shit that
other people say
like god damn
it don’t you have any cool shit of your own
with your own
thing yeah i like
i like when someone post a cool oscar wild
quote or something like that
but at a certain
point in time like i need you to say something too
i need to know who you are you’re not just
a jumble of
quotes oh i deserve to get
oscar wild quote uh
success isn’t enough
friends must fail haha
oh oh how many people are like that
i i a lot a lot of people like that man
there’s a lot of people that
secretly want you to
crash into the rocks oh yeah you can always tell
cause their ears perk up when you talk
start talking about something bad happening to you yeah
yeah there’s people when you
start talking
about some disaster that happened in your life
they’re like a dry plot of land that’s getting
water for the first time just soaking it in like yeah
come on go on oh that sounds terrible
what else happened
and they can’t wait to go home and tell
their girlfriend
about your failure
and eventually
she’ll go and
break up with you and then she’ll be talking
about how you got into talking
about everybody’s failures
but you wouldn’t deal with your own bullshit
over and over and over
again and on and on and on
until you rot of cancer you fuck yeah
called the evil eye
it really is that’s real man
that’s what it is the negative energy is so real when
it comes from people like the whole idea
sounds so hippie
but i’ve been
around so many times i’ve been around people
where i felt shitty
because i was around them
cause i knew they had bad thoughts i used to
i was trying to animate this cartoon once called box
bleach friend
and it’s like
boxed leech friend yeah box
leech friend and it’s like this
leech you can order
and it goes on it get rock
like a pet rock and you put it on your arm and it just
compliments you
while it’s sucking your life out of you
you’re really
great hold on a
second we might not want to put this on the podcast i
think you could actually sell this
i think you shouldn’t release this on the podcast
i think a leech as a friend like
goth kids would totally be into that
like i guarantee
you dude i guarantee you if you got in with the
right crowd you can
start selling pet leeches
for sure i don’t
come on that’s
not preposterous at all i’m totally being
serious i believe i believe you i believe that you
could sell real leeches
they won’t kill you
a leech is not
gonna kill you and they used to use them for medicine
yeah all that has to happen is like
marilyn manson
has to put one on his face and everybody i
wanna do it
yeah you if you
could get them if
marilyn manson
started putting them on
and then selling them
like marilyn manson like showed up at
some red carpet event and he did something on his arm
and if what’s that on your arm marilyn
it’s like that’s a
leech i sell them
yeah yeah but you
could get them
colored or put like
you could be dazzle them
bedazzle your leech
what do do you
think are are
there is there any danger
like why did they use them for what is i don’t i’m
ignorant as to like what the
medicinal uses were what
do they use when people had poison or something to draw
blood like yeah
i think the idea was it’s like your
when you remove the
blood it forces your body to make new
blood i they they thought i
think that your
blood was infected
and so you like you know you remove
blood from your body new
bloods made the new
bloods clean
you know until you heal
imagine how
much it sucked to have a broken leg like a hundred and
fifty two hundred years ago
oh that was it
oh you’re fucked that was it died
right yeah it was it was pretty much over
i mean you were
you you might you
might you know you would
you would either have a limp you couldn’t
really do anything you’d have to get an amputation
amputation was just like a leather
strap in your
mouth maybe some
some form of opiate
and then a saw
covered in the dried
blood of all the former patients because they weren’t
smart enough to figure out
about germs yet
they were idiots dude
you know they used to
think you know
where they used to
think flies came from
where they thought that
flies just magically appeared like if there
if you ever notice how like
your dog shits
and it’s something that’s always astounded me how
quickly flies get around the ship you
haven’t seen
flies anywhere
so i guess flies just hide out in
grass and they like wait for a shit and i like go go go
but like back then
they thought that
it was called i
think it was called spontaneous
generation or
spot they have
a name for i don’t know you guys can let us know but
it’s where just like a fly
would appear out of nowhere
they just believed
if you had like disease fly just kind of
popped in from another fly universe or something
i don’t know that this is
i heard this a very long time ago in one of my
classes so i’m sure i’m
butchering it well
the whole idea
about mushrooms
i mean john
marco legros
work on mushrooms
and i don’t know
there’s an arguments
about whether or not he got the
what is etymology
etymology the word
right but what his
his his work what he was saying was that
the word christ
traced back to a cimmerian word
that meant a mushroom
covered in god’s semen
and that what they believed
since they didn’t have
microscopes and they couldn’t see
spores when
mushrooms just popped up out of nowhere and they didn’t
think there was any seeds there they
understood seeds
but they didn’t know how
these mushrooms
could just exist so quickly
and then of course
you know you take them and you have
these intense
psychedelic
experiences so they
would think of course well this is gifts from god
you know that was a supposition
it makes sense i mean
if you were living 3 000 years ago you didn’t know what
spores were and you
ate mushrooms
and you saw god well that is really what happened
you really did see god i mean
back then there were
if there is
no science and there is no measurement there are no
spores and there is no
origin of you know
of of rain and the
clouds and if there’s no knowledge like that well then
guess what that
experience exists on its own
and if that
experience exists on its own with no context
that really is god
yeah absolutely it’s
it’s like less shit becomes gone because we
understand it more
until we understand
everything and then
everything becomes
god that’s it that’s what’s happening
it’s like i was
thinking like
you know about the
shockers you believe in the shockers
yes yeah i i
think it’s possible i i know
vaguely what the what the thought behind it is but
anything that’s been around a long
long time and is connected to yoga
i always give it some
validity because
here’s something that i read or i
heard actually i
heard mckenna say this
i think he was quoting somebody else but
what the quote is that
um yogis and
schizophrenics
all swim in the same water
it’s just that the yogi has
scuba equipment
oh that’s badass
well i think there’s something to all of that stuff
i think what yoga really is at the
heart of it besides being
a method for
tuning into cannabis
because all
those yogi smoked
crazy amounts of hash and we still do
still do in
india you see them smoking weed all the time they’re
baked man all the time
yeah it’s like part of
their you know
their thing is like
taking pride in how many chillums you can
smoke yeah they
are dude how
stone do you have to be
to grow dreadlocks
sit on a mat and
cover yourself in the
ashes of cremated bodies
you are so hot
when that start makes
that that makes sense
and they do that
you can look on youtube
it’s a form of
yoga they hang out it’s shy bites and shiva worshippers
hang out in
graveyard the
adults i think they
carry a little
skull around with them
there there
they’re like totally
about getting as
close to death as you can to try to
merge with the
consciousness through the
death energy
but they also get
really high
yeah i think um
the times that i’ve done yoga when i really got into it
i’ve um i’ve done yoga and been
completely sober and at the end of it
absolutely been high
like no doubt
about it like
had like a real
feeling of intoxication for sure you get
mean really high i’ve walked out of yoga like
super stoned or and not i
haven’t smoked anything and
yeah it’s because
you’re you know you’re dealing with like
these energy
systems that
haven’t been
somehow been missed by western science
which is kind of
weird i mean
think of like
what’s it called chi gong
or like what’s that what’s that called or tai chi
that’s dealing with like this
slow chinese
martial movement and it’s like this energy
system that like
i think acupuncture has something to do with it
i i know people who’ve like
cured smoking from acupuncture
that could also though be that they thought they were
gonna cure smoking from acupuncture
you know it’s like the the
power of the mind like the placebo
effect is an unquestionable thing
it really works on a lot of people if they believe
that you know the
sugar pill is gonna
cure cancer
or help them do something they will i mean they’ve
proven it with a
bunch of different
things even athletic performance people
you know it’s not everyone
doesn’t work on everyone some people are skeptical
but for for people that are true believers
the mind has some
weird untapped ability to do
things and we don’t know what it is
we we don’t
know why we don’t know why you can’t just say hey
um i have a problem with my body
what i should do is just think
about it and heal it
well you can do that but
it’s way easier to pretend that you know this pill is
gonna heal it
and also your body just does it on its own
it’s so weird how your mind can be
your enemy or your best friend your mind is like
if you you know in the bag of akita
they compare
the mind to
earth the human body the mind
senses to a chariot
like the greatest and most
powerful chariot
that there is
but if you don’t have control of
those forces
you are dead meat
yeah if i dropped you in a
you know i’m saying i
dropped you in a chariot with
super powerful horses
and was like
have fun and you didn’t know how to control
those horses
you you’d have like a zero lifespan
well you know what i
think it’s part of it is like it’s
kinda like a
self fulfilling prophecy thing
that’s related to your ability to create
because of your ability to create positive
things you can also create negative things
so if like you know the
whole idea behind the
secret is that you can manifest your own
world and you create your own destiny well
to a certain extent yes
to a certain extent if you really
truly believe in
things things can happen for you
but if you really
truly believe in shitty
things then shitty
things can happen too
so you can create your own
reality just with your paranoia
just with your negative
thinking like
you just as
it’s just the same thing as
that you can
create a positive reality it’s that creative energy
you just don’t have a hold of it well
i’ve just been reading this awesome
physics book
and the chapter i’m on
right now is
about reflection
and it’s when you
start thinking
about the concept of reflection
it’s really mind blowing because
everything you see
and everything you hear
is a reflection
of a certain waveform
bouncing off of matter
and going into
your optic nerve or
going into your ears now
if you think that that just stops with
light and sound you’re
crazy right
there’s so many
other things that are being reflected for example
your actions in the
world get reflected in the direct
result of the way or
get reflected in the way people treat you
and the way your life is this is a
direct reflection of how
you’re behaving you’re reflecting so much more so
the secret and all that
stuff it does make
sense when you
think yeah if in your
brain you have
awful thoughts and you’re radiating this
foul energy
that energy is bouncing
right back to you through
other people and events and circumstances
so it makes sense with
stuff like yoga
what that stuff is is really like
sort of a method
for controlling your body and
directing your life
it’s like all
those ancient
meditation methods all
those like even tai chi
it’s a method for utilizing the the
vehicle of the body
yeah that’s it and it’s
that yeah people
spent a long time
figuring this shit out yeah
like yoga didn’t just wasn’t just some like
indian dude is like i’m gonna
stretch out
stretch guys
yeah i like i watch pain
tellers bullshit and i like that show
but i felt i thought it was so offensive
when they’re dismissing yoga
as like oh look
i’m just stretching like he’s stretching
and i’m like whoa man are you discounting discipline
are you discounting
the ability
to transform you and
control your body and to get a hold of your mind and
get a hold of
your consciousness because you’re no longer
negatively influenced
by a stressful fucked up body you’re discounting that
by saying it’s stretching
like come on man you’re a fat
fuck you’re a fat fuck is not taking care of your body
that’s it yeah he’s just shoving
steaks down his mouth
he can barely bend over what yeah i’m just
like come on man you can’t you can’t talk to me about
what the benefits of yoga are
after you stretch for five minutes on a
television show that’s that’s
that’s disingenuous and that you know i
that drives me
crazy i know that the
whole idea is that
everything is bullshit
on that show
but that guy’s too
smart for that
you know yeah that yeah they do take some
artistic liberties in that show
there’s something
about yoga that is it does something
amazing for your mind
it calms your mind and centers your mind
like they’re calling it centering
like there’s a reason why everybody uses that term
it’s a balancing
issue i saw a
video on the internet of a yogi
taking cloth
if you ever seen this and swallowing it down his i
should say by the way that i love pen tell
and tell her
i love both of
those guys and i feel like
a douchebag for just shit on i’m calling him a fat fuck
he’s a super cool guy and he had me on his
radio show and i love the guy but
you know it is what it is sorry
i love you buddy
yeah me too
yeah you’re
angel that’s the coolest he’s just you know you’re just
wrong about that
and and you also wrong
about martial arts
that was another show they had
they were saying that
you you should
you’d be better off
taking the money that you would
spend a martial arts
lessons and giving it to a mugger
oh that’s stupid
ridiculous and also if you’re
telling beat your fans not to do yoga you’re kind of
tricking them into being unhealthy what’s that
that’s dumb
well dunk trussle just
got a nice salad look
heirloom tomatoes look at this this is no joke here
first class in air canada bitches look at that
fresh lettuce
that’s a nice looking
salad right there
that’s for as far as
plain salads go
that’s a goddamn nice salad
yeah especially cause like
the last six
months i’ve been traveling
what do i say in the last six
months the last
many years of my life i’ve been
traveling in the back in the
slave quarters
this is insane man i feel like fucking
little or fannie
up here when
you’ve been flying in the shit section of the
plane and suddenly they plop down a healthy
salad in front of you
i wanna piss myself with joy right now
i wonder how many people get annoyed by this podcast
people in the on the plane
maybe we should cash it in yeah i don’t think so
you want to take a break and eat your salad yeah okay
so this is part one this is the end of part one
thank you for tuning in and
as always we love you bitches bye
that’s the music
for take two episode two the podcast the
first one just a nice
20 minute one
and then duncan had his delicious
salad and then we got online
and got very distracted because we’re online
so we decided to
fire it up again
because i listened to the
first one for a couple minutes so the
sound is good i was
worried about that that it
would be it
would drown it out but
we actually
could put this online yeah it’s
really awesome but
what’s awesome is that
edible kicked in yet oh yeah
that’s an amazing mix they
should give
those out to people when they get on the
plane yeah fuck
drinks you don’t want to
drink this is doing to the plane
what ecstasy does for a rave
like when you go to a rave if you’re not an
ecstasy it kind of
doesn’t make
sense or if you’re not
tripping out
it kind of doesn’t make sense on a
planes make
sense to me now
yeah i made a
whole blog entry
about how i like to get high
and then get on planes
and i’m like i’m not operating
heavy machinery i’m not hurting anybody
i know i’m gonna be in a seat for like four hours
and i know if i take a cookie at the airport
and i get on the plane
you know you
gotta time it
right take it
right when you get out of your car
come tom chomp eat it
doesn’t want to
carry anything with you on the plane
you get on the plane
and an hour and
twenty minutes
later you’re in the air
and you’re gone
yeah you’re just rocketing through
space and when you listen to an ipod that’s like
when you have good
music like synced up on your ipod
and you know you have like a surround
sound headphones like a
strong headphones like the
i got these beats dr dre beats they
sound so good man and they
their noise counsel canceling
so they cancel the outside bullshit out and just hear
crisp clean sound
and your barbecue
i wrote this
whole blog about
it makes it a
mundane boring tiresome sort of a
chore it turns into like a really fun time
the only thing
about it that sucks
is they don’t supply in
first class
a whip that you can run through the business
class whipping people with
yeah you’ve become
like very quickly a snob
snob i feel like a roman emperor you’re an elitist
i know i feel like crucifying one of the i feel like a
roman emperor
this is incredible guys
if you don’t for me this is like
i don’t do this but i’ve got my computer
plugged into my spacious console at the front
i just had a delicious salad
i’ve got my ipod
charging i’m on wireless
this is incredible it’s pretty intense
cause you know
one one thing that is helping the
strips is the fact that
we’re in like we’re out front
yeah i don’t know if
these trips
will be so useful if you’re back in the business
class inhaling the farts of the poor
i think george carlin
said something like that in a joke so that’s an end for
theft it’s not theft i remember
yeah now i know what he meant
so a bunch of people are
tweeting us
because we’re on wi
fi so i said hey you guys got any questions and we like
fifty right away
but a lot of them are
about wikileaks man
a lot of people have
questions about that and yeah i know
you and i were talking
about this yesterday we had to go we had like a real
quick conversation with the
phone but the
whole case is very fascinating
first of all the fact that there was this
interpol warning
to go get this guy or notice to get this guy and
he was just
it was charged with having sex
that’s all he did it wasn’t even rain
it was sex without a condom
which is just incredible i mean
how can you
drag someone into
jail for another country for that i mean that that is
so transparent how many
trains how many countries
would you be wanted in joe
uh just one really
i’ve never had condomless sex anywhere else oh really
i try not to
actually yeah that’s probably right i
wanna be bringing some first of all i mean for kids
funk back that’s a good point
um julian assange
he’s probably i
think he’s an amazing guy and i think he’s do you
i am torn somebody farted somebody farted in this plane
stop me it didn’t come from the front it’s
motherfuckers came from the back
nasty ass bitches
that’s why you need to run back and lash them
anytime a fart wasp
you should have
a strap you can grab
flashing to the back
anyway this wikileaks guy
i think the
whole thing is
you know it’s obviously
they’re arresting him for release
those documents
they’re just what they’re doing is they’re
sending a message that we can get you with anything
the woman has been linked to the cia and there’s a
bunch of stories
about that and she’s a
crazy feminist who actually has a website that’s
dedicated showing people
how to get back at men
you know showing people how to get revenge
who who’s buying this shit though
is there like what there’s like
four geriatrics in new jersey or like he’s a rapist
like everyone is like a
lot of people
there’s people on my message
board that were saying that um
this one guy
had i believe was a history
teacher was telling him that this
was that this guy was a rapist
she was saying this
those are the words she was using
and the guy in the message
was like well that’s
not what they said they said he had sex with a condom
and she you know was just like completely
resolved this
this conclusion and this guy is a
rapist and that’s it and that is the end of
story and he’s a bad person and
i guess the best time
to commit rape is
right before you leak shit
loads of information because
then you can be like
yeah like i raped
it’s obviously a setup
or they would
paint you what
they’re doing with this guy the saying that he’s a
liar well yeah that’s and that’s the
truth he’s it’s
clearly the whole
things fixed
no i don’t have any question
about that it’s amazing it’s like okay
he’s a rapist
and if you call someone a
rapist all right immediately that person gets
locked in this subhuman
shitty category of people who don’t give a fuck
about other
people and they’re a hundred percent out for themselves
to the detriment of all others
but the problem is
you can’t use the word
rapist for shit that’s not rape
like having sex consensual sex without a condom
oh yeah consensual sex when a condom
broke i was talking to a friend of mine
who went to law
school and he was
you know telling me
when you can’t use the word right
you can only use
the word in
court in court
yeah so they’re not
they’re not
using an acceptable way in
court but yet they have said rape
and they’ve said
there’s a bunch of different versions of
the stories that it’s gotten out but i have read rape
well um one
thing he said is
for example
having sex with a prostitute
and then not paying her
that is not rape
that is consensual sex
but a lot of times a prostitute
will get ripped off and
claimed that she was raped it’s so
rape is non consensual
sex so when it’s
consensual but then you don’t pay what is that is that
fraud or it’s not because it’s not
shoplifting
it’s just jacking that pussy
exact it son
oh i mean what do you call that because it’s a crime
and you you know you’re admitting
you know that you were you committed a
crime and selling your body for sex
this guy didn’t pay you
for your criminal deed
like you don’t really have a stake
you have that’s the problem with
you don’t have a case
illegal you can’t report somebody
like you have to take matters into your own hands
yeah how annoying is that man
you have to become remember
that hbo show a long time ago
avenging angel
about the prostitute that killed people
no it was a
whole terrible series
like a prostitute went
crazy with shotguns don’t
watch it i don’t i can’t believe i just remembered
horrible enough to watch like like
like showgirls and i only
watched it when i was a kid because they like the
commercials were really racing seem like something you
could masturbate to
totally how old are you how long it was
i don’t remember the exact age maybe
i don’t know
fourteen thirteen i don’t know the eighties right
how old are you when you start
masturbating
me it was definitely high school
i had actually had sex before i’d ever masturbate
yeah i did yeah crazily
just by some way i just met a slut real early
i took acid before i
drink alcohol yeah
i just said
the word slut and the lady behind me flinched
we gotta be careful we’ve got some sensitive
shit either words are
tricky word man
well the lady behind us is
not an executive class
where’s the
straw oh no she
heard that too by the way
how dare you
i just say i’m totally kidding i’m not melidas is just
excited for me i’ll be in business
class for the next
decade back coach
this is that
class actually pretty good
yeah i’ll be in
coach for this is bad
karma i’ve got
coach karma coming my way
yeah it is kind of
weird that they’re
allowed to do that have good seats and then seats suck
well yeah an airplane
doesn’t an airplane just kind of
embody society
you got like
run at the airport
where everyone’s like eating organic
salads and plugged in
and happy and
everything spacious
my god are stewardess
i’ve never experienced a woman
like she’s like
two steps away from being in a harrow
it’s incredible
that’s what society’s like there’s like a
small group
of people up
front or like
so much nicer
to you up here it’s
like this is the nicest anyone’s been to me yeah
when you’re in the back a lot of times the stewardesses
are kind of shitty with you they get a little douche
with you oh yeah they’re just
pissed man i mean
you’re lucky if you can get a napkin the
whole flight yeah
no back to this wikileaks guy
um he supposedly has some incredible payload
that he’s gonna release
if anything happens to him
right isn’t that the word
what is oh yeah he’s got an insurance policy that’s a
super encrypted
pdf file that
has within it
what is attorney described as a thermonuclear bomb
which you know who knows what that
could be but
it’s got to be something
about september eleventh
you think something
like that i mean it’s got to be some or nothing you
could be bluffing
something like we didn’t land on the moon
yeah something like
all the the
secrets of why we actually really got into
afghanistan
and how much they’re making and selling heroin and i
think that i think
that i’m afraid of is that they
could just release it he’s
gonna give the code by the way
how much poison
how much poison is julian assang
slurping back in that prison right now
like yeah like
that that guy he turned himself in it’s like
are you kidding look at what happened to lee
harvey oswald and he went when you get in there custody
why would you do that you
think he had to and i
think the pressure
of being on the run was probably unbearable
you know everybody knows what he looks like
all over the
world all over
magazines all over newspapers on the
cover of time
magazine right now
who was this guy
before he was this wikileaks guy do you know he was um
well he’s australian
and he was into political
activism i saw
there’s a really good interview with him on ted
um that you
could look up
where he talks
about his past but he’s
had a very interesting life he’s really into
um activist
journalism or what
is just real
you just doing real
journalism it’s a real journalist
that’s what real
journalist used to do that’s the
power of a real
journalist is like
they create
giant waves through society the
journalists we have now are just
i don’t know what they are do you
when when the wiki league came out that
hillary clinton had
ordered us to spy on members of the un
on the front page of cnn
i remember it
it was it’s rosa
parks birthday
and then next to that was something
about lindsay lohan
meanwhile a
cable had come out
from hillary clinton
saying gather
biometric information
on the members of the united nations
and this is directly
against um um international law
you can’t spy on members of the un
you’re not supposed to do that
that’s what julian assang said he said well
if she’s in violation of this she
should resign
and the people in the united states
should be saying
why isn’t hillary clinton resigning if she’s
breaking international law
why isn’t george
bush being held accountable when in his book
he says he authorized
uh uh actions that go
against the geneva conventions
why aren’t we holding our leaders to the law
and the very fact that we’re not is why
we have to go
through seven
you know seven different security
systems at the airport and get our balls
squeezed people
wanna blow us the fuck up
because our leaders aren’t
sticking to the law you’ve got to
stick to the law
if you’re in the
front and you don’t
stick to the law god i’m
sorry i keep quoting the bag of akita because i’m
gonna sound like a dick but
no it’s true
it says in the bag of akita
what a great man does
others will follow
and if you’re at the
front of the fucking ant parade
and you’re not
going in the right way
but you’re telling all the
other ants to go in the
right way it
doesn’t work
and then we have chaos and
the degradation of society and
then the next
thing you know julian asan
just being arrested for nothing
and everyone knows it but no one’s doing anything
that’s why one of the uh
more popular conspiracy theories
theories have always been that the government creates
drama so that we have to take away your
rights to protect you from this drama
you know whether
especially things like
faceless things like terrorism
you know there’s been
so many claims by all
these different
groups i don’t know if there’s any
validity to it but there’s so many people talking
about it you
gotta wonder if this has ever been a real strategy
and that strategy is
to attack people and
blame it on terror
so that you can change laws
so that you can move around easier
you know and it
sounds like
something there’s no way that we
would ever do
it sounds like some horrific terrible thing
until you go back and you just review american history
you know you have
review why we really got into a
bunch of different wars
and it had nothing to do with protecting people and
everything to do with economics
so if if there’s a way to make more
money and there’s a way to move around easier
and all that way requires is
you have to create some drama
and in that
drama you’re
gonna be able to change the law
and that’s gonna help but you can
justify that even if you’re really not that terrible
you could say we need this to protect
people it’s the reality of the business you know
it didn’t or will say something like that about
you know what wasn’t it didn’t have some
quote about
people sleep
in their bed
safe at night
because hard men are out there doing you know
terrible things something like that
terrible paraphrase
but that was his
it was you know his
thing it’s like
like the only way to be safe is if
we you let us take care of it all
you know and we promise you
we’re going to protect you
from all this
other stuff
there’s a lot of other
stuff and you can’t know about it
yeah it’s the it’s like the
government taking on the figure of your your parents
and it’s like
and then you’ve got
the constitution this will probably piss people off but
it’s like the constant
basically like everyone goes back to the
great founding here with
those things no
everything i’m headphones on
and i was like god
everything’s
muffled i forgot i had headphones
i had ear plugs in
if you like
you know like everyone goes back to like what would the
founding fathers do
and we must
never change anything in the constitution or
our government is
clearly the constitution
is not functioning
in the way that it was intended to function anymore
the founding fathers
intended i imagine
democracy to work in a way where
votes meant something and leaders
weren’t being
manipulated and controlled by massive corporations but
people get hooked on the past
and they don’t
wanna take matters into
their own hand
so what you have happening
right now is
something that’s
a pale reflection of what may have been intended
when you know in the
the idea being that each
human being in america
they’re supposed to be seeking out their
greatest happiness
which is an incredible idea
that is not what’s happening anymore
and so what you have is this anaconda
effect happening
on anaconda
kill kills people
yeah so that
it’s constriction the way an anaconda kills people is
what it’s awful
you breathe out
the anaconda
squeezes in
you know what i mean you
you let air out the anaconda
squeezes in
so you can’t take as much air in the next time and
every time you breathe out the anaconda
squeezes in and in and in
so what you have happening now is these
awful attacks
happened or whatever they were who the fuck knows very
suspicious events happen
and all of a sudden now
we go to the airport
and we just have to take it for granted
that we’re going to
you know get ladies
and gentlemen
i’m going to be closing up the duty free within
the next fifteen minutes what do you want to duty free
selling your bullshit
duty free booze
for alcoholics who want to not pay taxes on their booze
how much taxes
i don’t know i never understood it’s weird
listen to that french as you can show
what a great language man
it’s a good one
so what we’re saying my point is
it seems like what’s
happening and what’s really disturbing is it’s like
everything that
everything that’s done
in fascism or
every anytime
anything’s done
that’s bad it’s
never done on the surface like this is a bad
thing it’s always
done for a really reasonable justifiable cause
and in that same way it’s like
what’s happening at the airport security
it’s very dangerous because soon that’s
going to spread to the subways and then that’s
going to spread to the
in greyhound
stations and pretty much anywhere you want to
do you think it’ll ever get to a
point where it’s in cars
where people will
be able to stop you get out of your car and then just
search your car
well i mean i
think that’s cops
yeah but i mean like a true
like a line
like you just
drive somewhere
and you have to stop get out
of your car they have to go look around it and then you
drive on well yeah like what happens when you
drive into the airport they stop you give you a
quick look over and let you go through
did you say that
about israel it’s like that in israel
yeah it’s like that in israel they
and you know in israel it’s like
there you kind of
understand it because
they they went through that period
where cafes were just getting
blown up and and
every day like suicide bombs were
going off and
the united states
these events
they’re not happening and
i know people are like they’re not happening because of
those security
measures but really no the security measures
are only at the airports
they’re not
at the hardware
stores where
anybody who’s got a
minor understanding of chemistry
could probably whip together a bomb and
stick it somewhere and kill people
the secure i just i heard that
more people’s lives
would be saved if
they were giving
measuring people’s hearts
for irregular
heartbeats when they were
going through airport security and telling them they
might have a problem with
their heart
and scanning people
that’s true but
if there was no
scanning in this climate i
truly believe that someone
would try to do something
stupid again
i don’t have a problem with scanning
i know a problem with
scanning cause i don’t have a bomb on me
and i don’t want anybody else to have a bomb on them
i don’t see it as a problem because
there’s a meme out there and that meme is
blowing up airplanes and people been doing it already
and it’s become a part of that
you know the the terrorist culture
i mean whenever they
wanna get a lot of attention they know
everyone’s terrified of flying so it’s like a bonus
it’s like terror times ten
you know cause terror
on a bus is like well i’m not scared to be in a bus
but when i’m on a
plane i’m thirty thousand feet in the air
everyone’s afraid that
plane’s gonna go down and that’s how they’re
gonna die that’s a big
giant fucking visceral fear that people have
cause they know we’re not really supposed to be up here
you and i are
right now we’re
thirty thousand goddamn feet in the air
going five hundred
miles an hour
and that’s scary
and if you add someone blowing that up it’s like
double blow up
you know it’s it’s more
scary so because of that
i like scanning i don’t have a problem with it
i think everybody’s
freaking out
about everybody
grabbing their balls and
everything but look
look just go through it’s not that hard
why why are they
freaking out why are they a pain in the ass why they
aggressive i’ll tell you why
cause their job sucks
and because nobody wants to go through this bullshit
so people are complaining all day
so they’re in a negative mood
their job sucks
but really i
in this climate in this day and
age of underwear
bombs and shoe bombs and fucking what else bombs it’s
gonna be next
what’s next you know
fucking breath machine bombs and you know
bose earphone bombs i mean come on man
it’s like they can keep
going on and on you gotta
check shit out you
gotta i mean
there’s just too many nutty people
and it’s not our
fault that our government is doing all this
crazy shit all over the world
because it’s pretty obvious no matter who you vote in
you know obama promised that he was
gonna get out we
voted him in look what happened nothing
nothing’s changed nothing’s
changed in fact more people are in afghanistan
more people than ever
so it’s not that’s not
gonna fix shit
it’s not our
fault we don’t know what to do
okay don’t blow us up
cause we don’t know what to do
cause we’re just as much of a
victim of this
crazy fucking machine as everybody else
we human beings you and i we are
look we are the people that they
would be attacking this
we’re us we’re a part of this
whole crazy
group and that’s
where it gets
ridiculous because
whatever you say
about the united
states doing fucked up
things over the
world it’s not us
it’s not us
yeah we’re not with this
group we’re just born here okay
that’s the problem though is like
that yeah you
can’t what i’m saying is like
the average person is not really
going to be able to fix this by voting
it’s obvious
well no it’s not by voting i mean it requires like
hardcore activism like what assange
is doing like
that’s the only way to fix it people aren’t
gonna fix this by
i mean right before we rushed into iraq and
started attacking them in
the illegal war that happened
remember that
hundreds thousands of people
that were protesting i went to one of the protest man
people swarming through the streets
nobody wanted that to happen
and it happened
so that what that says is okay well that
style of protest
doesn’t work
the voting style of protest
doesn’t work
obama just voted to
extend the republican um
the bush era
tax cuts that he was railing
against so so
it didn’t matter that he said he was
gonna stop those because he just kept them
going so voting
doesn’t work
protesting doesn’t work
what does seem to work is one
pale little albino
it doesn’t like wearing condoms
and it’s pouring
the truth about
the way our government actually works out into the
world that worked and look what happens
the way you know what you’re doing is working
is because you’re either a
in jail and you’re not getting out or b
you’re clutching your
chest realizing you just got assassinated
that’s how you knew you were on the right track
that’s it any other
stuff as they call it slack division
which i’m quite guilty of
you’re not doing the right thing
until you’re getting waterboarded
when you’re getting waterboarded you probably
stumbled onto something until then
oh oh forget it
dude that’s brilliant
if you’re getting
waterboard you probably stumble out of something
yeah yeah but meanwhile i gotta tell you
sitting up in first class ain’t so bad
i’d like to get a cup of coffee and watch me
press this button
even the charm
what up dog
even the chime is angelic
how about that dog you can request
i have a request for
a cup of coffee
to try to stimulate my mind
i got a little bit too much eleven hydroxy metabolite
flowing through the dome
could i have a cup of coffee with a cream please
would you say hi to everybody on our podcast
hi how are you
she’s very nice what is your name
marcela she’s a very nice lady
thank you would you like anything a coffee please
say we really are on a plane
it would be an elaborate hoax
if we tried to pretend that we weren’t on a plane
she’s the best she’s
the best that she’s got a beautiful accent she’s so
sweet she’s wonderful she’s got a
motherly quality to her yeah and she’s very attentive
she has a nice
scarf tied around her neck
this wiki wikileaks thing i’m a but i’m a very
i’m very guilty of being a
spectator in a lot of
world events
like it takes a lot to like charge me to the
point of even talking
about this but
when when i saw yesterday that the
whole condom
thing like that’s when i really
started getting into it was the other
set yesterday the day before
and that that’s when i really just went okay i can’t
leave this alone like i have to look at this
cause this is insane
i get i’ve never seen a case more
transparent
where they’re
bringing someone to justice
quote unquote
for like a more
ridiculous charge consensual sex
where the condom
broke and you didn’t say anything
and how does he
how you know
who’s gonna
prove that like the
judge should toss that out of goddamn court
they should be like hey honey
shit happens don’t buy
cheap rubbers get the fuck out of my courtroom
it shouldn’t be
let’s get an interpol
thing out there
and drag this dude in from another nation
you know ps
what happened to that bin laden guy
yeah the most evil guy in the
world is the one that’s exposing murder
that’s the most evil guy in the
world meanwhile bin
ladens and some
sweet and saudi arabia
laughing his fucking ass
off or in like this like a hole in a mountain like area
fifty one style
and you go in there into the fucking palace they
built him deep into the mountain
yeah that’s it that’s it yeah
he’s yeah he’s like getting personal performances
from stevie wonder yeah and he’s got a lake
above his house
with a glass bottom that’s
where he gets his light from
comes through the
water and that’s what
lights up the way it’s a fucking palace
and then just
shipping in afghani
chicks just left and
right and left and
right and it’s an
probably no afghani boys
and it’s just a crazy orgy
it’s just littered with like the dead bodies of
oh you got ice cream
thank you very much
thank you what you say
the coffee she
whispered that the coffee is being brewed
she just brought some ice
cream by as well oh haagen
dazs little
small haagen dazs
i’m on that shit son that does
sound really flavor
would you go for
cause i think i’m
gonna go for whatever they give me
i think that’s what i’ll take i i’m
i it’s hard to not cry
every time she asks for something i’ve been
i feel like a kid who’s been like molested
by a foster parent that loves you
business class
i mean coach
you’re getting molested back there you’ve got like
your legs are getting
crushed into
your body and if god forbid you have a middle seat
you walk out with scoliosis for the rest of your life
you’re trying to see
it’s horrible back there
i’m gonna we should
i don’t know
this is great though
anyway back to this wikileaks dude
i think it takes a certain type of hubris
you know it’s not
the average person is not
going to do this
they probably
never thought someone
would be so bold as to do something that
would most surely get them
arrested and they
gonna be very little public outcry
this guy’s gonna get locked up for a long ass time
and there’s gonna be a
bunch of reasons why they’re locking him up and they’re
gonna rot him out they’re
gonna rot him out and sell somewhere
illegal access to sensitive data top secret
information they’re gonna
it’s gonna be
yeah espionage espionage
well is it espionage when you’re not a us
citizen what is it
well no he’s
apparently it isn’t like there’s all these basic
laws that govern
these things and
and if it was espionage and if it what
truly was espionage you
for certain the united
states this next day it came out
would be like we’re arresting him
right but the united states now i was like
probably an entire warehouse full of lawyers
looking through
every line of
law desperately trying to cobble together a reason
they can legally
bring him back into the empire
but it’s so
dangerous because all the information is out now and
so much has been
learned about the way
the government interacts with
other governments about
how they feel about
other countries
about all this
secret information that they have access to
there’s a lot of shit that got out man
you can’t close that up you know
and also that
little thorn in the lion’s paw is that insurance policy
you know you know
that is that is drawing some beads of
sweat from the heads of many reptilians
right now like
what could it be
you think he’s telling them you
think he’s told them yet what it is
i think he’s probably
given him a hint or two
weird code words
green dragon
can they kill him at this point
after all this can they kill him
well i think
i think that
that’s why that’s to me the thing
about if you did turn himself into me it’s like man
well you better not be
drinking the water
because it’s like
if you really trust
that they’re just giving you like
whatever the normal
salami sandwiches
they’re giving prisoners and they’re not giving you
a patty of spam
that’s composed of nano bots designed to swim into the
score of your
brain and explode in five years
that’s what you think and the guy’s got a little
a little like widget on his computer
clock till junior
down down still a scientist head explodes in the cia
knows exactly
clocks on everyone’s computer and he they’re all
gonna be there when it happens
they’re gonna invite him somewhere
it’s gonna be like he won the lottery or something or
stand there
trying to collect
big fucking stupid
smile on his face
and that his
head will explode it’ll be when he wins the nobel
prize and it’ll happen on the fourth of july
it’ll happen oh look at this she’s coming by with this
oh my goodness
i wish we could keep this podcast
going but she’s coming by with ice cream
and cookies
yeah yeah ice
cream and cookies yeah
whoops thank you
oh my goodness
and with that
ladies and gentlemen that’s
gonna be the end of part two
these are short podcasts
if you if you only commute to work and it’s like
twenty minutes
is a perfect podcast for you
we did this just for you we’ll be back we just