The Joe Rogan Experience #67 - Hal Sparks

listening on this how

listen on this get your groove going man

you can’t be on the run they sent different pages us

house parks in the house

yes he didn’t have his headphones on yet literally

this is the coupe brian yeah we are the ones

co coup yes

isn’t that just cool then

isn’t c o u p cool

isn’t like when someone overtakes a government yeah

so why are we saying coop

i was thinking chicken coop

i don’t think chicken coop

spell that way brother no you’re right

going double double o’s double o says how sparks i

agree with them yeah you know they are the ones that

after nine eleven had that controversial

album with the two twin

towers i think that were exploding on

remember that the cd

damn i don’t remember that at all but i just

i just get attention yeah

that would reinforce the coup

concept as a name as opposed to i remember

when biggie did the original blow up like the world

trade and people are like whoa

what the fuck did you

say and that’s only when a few people had died right

no a bold move coo

they’re taking over

folks that’s what it is

i mean i guess that’s

those are the kind of

things you’re

gonna say when you’re trying to

break through the den of a

saturated market

yeah before

we get into any controversial subjects we must

thank our sponsor the

flashlight we are sponsored by

a masturbation tool mr

sparks i don’t know if you’ve ever used one

of these things i

have not used it but i’m familiar with the concept

you have touched one

you touched

it these are all virgins and

except for fingers

put your finger inside of it no no it’s

a fascinating product man it works very well that’s

very effective that’s good

it’s not uh

like you know

it’s not just a blue color

novelty item

it’s for the necrophiliac how

about the double clogliac

in you right

has anybody really ever turned blue

huh i don’t

think they ever hit that

stage that color i

guess someone hit


you’re high

or they’re an

alien right now

or they really are an

alien or you’re trying to

body and it

would be full do you

think a body in a

river looks like that probably it’s like blue greens

veiny bloated

the bloated

flashlight i don’t know and if we look at

silence of the lambs is our reference

point for the body

found in the woods she was

relatively pinkish her

fingertips and feet were

or bluish but i

think i don’t they

never closed up on the how many

dudes get inspired by

those movies to become serial

killers like how many people just want to be someone

special so they go that guy got caught but i’m gonna

you know what i’m

gonna go out there and do that well a lot of them

a lot of them are to

i guess don’t have the

the ability to

see it through because serial killer

that’s a commitment

most people do the

yeah sorry i don’t know how to shut it

right leave it

open it does it

spoil or something

dude my flashlight went bad

that’s right

but a lot of guys what they’ll do is

they’ll get inspired by that do the workplace violence

thing go up and

shoot a girlfriend

shoot up their office

that’s where those guys come from

and then they end up

shooting themselves because it’s nothing like they

expected is that why they do it or do they

plan on shooting themselves in the first place

some some say they do or whatever they’re gonna commit

suicide by cop or whatever but a lot of them

go down because they’re looking at the dead people and

going this is nothing like a

movie this is nothing like a video game

nothing like i thought and then they

they just can’t take yeah they have this

cause the guys who survived trying to kill themselves

that’s what they

said jesus christ

how fucking it just

shows the broad spectrum

of human thinking and behavior

oh yeah people are

it’s so fascinating

know when you just you know just you meet someone

and you just

can’t jive with this guy this guy’s broken

or he’s fucking

wacky or whatever and you like god

i could have just met the coolest person in the

world instead i met the douchiest person in the

world just random

right you know

it’s someone

like in the

other world

who’s running the game controller that runs that

particular body in this environment

it’s as if he handed the controller to his friend and

would just try the game for a while

you know what i mean

even a second ago

there was a guy who knew how to

run it was like okay i’m living a glyph i’ve got a guy

going he’s pretty interesting

and then he hands it to his friend who’s

never played the game before and he’s like

keep running into the wall

you know there’s

a lot of people that just keep running into the walls

totally you’ll run

into people that i’ve met people in my life that easily

could have been shooters

they easily

could have you know they’re just oh yeah one

tragedy away one ass kicking away one

life ass kicking you lose your job lose your house

you know lose i was one in high

school i wasn’t that far off really yeah for real

yeah for real

what was it

about balloon

huh no no it was it was

i came from the country like stickville

you know like kentucky and i

moved to chicago in the

first year i was there

i was pretty fucking

miserable because i was such an outcast and it was so

like it was a

super rich school is

i went from a

school that had a hundred

forty people

in my class to

fourteen hundred in my class like

and i had a

southern accent fucking

peach fuzz mustache

and we were

broke and i

lived in a guest

house up the

street and all

these kids were

like rolling in mercedes and that kind of

stuff and i had

that kind of

outsider like

anger about it and then

what solved it was

was the fact that

two girls approached me

at a party at the same time

and it occurred to me that it

there was a fork in the road here i

could go violent

hell or i could get laid and this was the choice and

i went with getting laid

wow so your response to just being

outcast you wanted to get violent with them

yeah well certain ones of them i mean i got in a

bunch of fights the

first like like

three months i was there almost got

kicked the fuck is that

about people that you

know new people can’t come around they just immediately

sense the weakness and want to

start fucking with yeah

there’s some people that just do that

right i had the same situation in my life

where i moved around a lot we moved from

time i was seven

we moved to new jersey

or to from new jersey to san francisco

lived in san francisco

until i was 11

and then 11

to 13 lived in florida

and then 13 to 24

lived in boston

right so it was the same sort of

thing it was like you

never really get settled right

you know and

right when you develop some friends and

start you know having like a little

base of people

you hang out with and it seems like life is normal

for kids that’s fucking huge man

if you don’t have friends you don’t have a life like

totally adults

think that they can just fucking take your kids and

snatch them out of some

place and it’s not

gonna hurt them to just

well you’re just

gonna get used to

kansas right

you know and then they get douched on in

school and they

don’t have any friends anymore meanwhile

they had the coolest friends

ever back home and wherever the fuck they’re from

that’s a traumatic fucking

thing for yeah i

think as an

adult you just kind of

you do take some

level of friendship for

granted because you

start recognizing the

world as a relatively big

place in a positive sense

and that there are people to hang out with

everywhere you go

and you overlay that thought form on a new

brain it doesn’t quite

land as well the

issue is i think that well you know

really it’s just a hurdle

and you got over it and

i got over it and most kids do get over it in fact it

could be argued that the best way to make an

interesting person is to put them through a fucked up

childhood absolutely

because pretty much everybody that i

know that’s interesting all of my friends had fucked up

childhoods i don’t have any

normal friends were

they talk about

their childhood it was just

like my dad was always there for me took me to fucking

wrestling practice

every day and my mom always

baked cakes

none of that nobody i don’t hear any of that shit

and most of the ones i do meet are relatively miserable

and i spend

a good deal of my time

entertaining a lot of them

and do you think that they’re normal too

no i think they’re just different in a different way

i think they sublimate

we need directions

for life god damn it we need a fucking

guide this is

ridiculous that we get

stuck into the most complicated puzzle any

living organism that we can comprehend

can go through the idea of

evolving as a

human being and becoming

a productive

member society getting your emotions in

order getting

your energy in

order getting your life in

order your friendships in order

that’s fucking uber complicated

here and we don’t even have a guidebook

well but the

guidebook would be

wrong at the crucial

point is the problem and by the way we’ve

tried to set up

guidebooks that’s what

their religion

is that’s what but

would there be a way

to have a guidebook just for clarity of thinking

just objective clarity of

thinking and letting people

understand i

think that’s like a

giant percentage of what the problem with

human beings is

is that even if they find the answer

if the answer

doesn’t jive

with their life

they’re not willing to accept it

they get angry

about whatever it is

everything has to bottleneck through

their their past

people just have

these fucking

rigid ideas in

their head and once

those ideas

are challenged and then it becomes a battle for

their soul you know

it’s not just

you know they disagree

about an issue and i’m not totally attached to it

i’ve had great conversations with people that are

super really

super appreciate

when they’re not attached to their idea

you know what i mean

when they’re not like arguing

in a real personal way when it’s like you know you

look when they’re in not insecure

about it yeah they just have an idea

about things that’s the only way

human beings ever

evolved but the problem is

life is a big dick contest

and everyone wants

their idea to be the best idea

so they try to be forced

to be right than happy

yeah exactly yeah

exactly and the people who are always trying to be

right are never happy no


yeah always the most miserable

thing is the only

sense they have the most miserable people

the most who

always want to be

right you know

and even places

where it’s not

right like there’s a

comic that i know

that would always criticize people’s acts

and tell them like what are you doing this for man you

could do better than this and the guy liked his act

but his act is like

super juvenile

uh huh like that kind of shit

it’s really the same

thing it’s like

what are you saying what you like

right you want everyone to like what you like that’s

ridiculous it’s absurd

you know for an extreme example it’s one of the

things when i

laugh at people who go

off on nickelback or something like that or even carrot

top where you’re like

they literally go

with a bunch of

corporate assholes

who just sell

their shit you go wait a

minute what

elvis costello song

should they be doing in a coffee

house to make you

happy because

they exist even at balance

to help what you like

exist to some degree

and you need to

leave that shit

alone if it

doesn’t resonate with you

knock who cares

right it’s not

successful is what it is it’s too

successful and it’s too

smooth and it’s too packaged

what it is is they’re good

they’re a good pop band

right but i mean it’s like i met that nickelback

guy too it was they were doing a

thing yeah man recently

yeah i was at the ufc and

they had a show the

night before the

ufc and they met in a salon

no we got our

nails done together

i was getting my

knuckles shaved and he

was getting his

nails done you got

you got wax

i want to let everybody know i’m hairy

everywhere i don’t give a fuck

you’re at linens and

things and i

met the guy from nickelback but there’s that’s a one of

those universal easy to hate justin bieber type

thing exactly

like i don’t have a problem with justin bieber is

it seems like

he’s a little kid yeah

right that’s what i mean

everybody’s like fucking justin bieber

if i hear one more fucking

justin bieber song like what channel are you listening

to go outside man

go for a walk

smell some flowers bro

radio stations there actually are fuck

where the fuck is your ipod at this point

you know it’s interesting we’re talking about if i

buy and load one more justin bieber song on my own ipod

and listen to it as i sleep

i’m gonna kick my own dick

gets hard and one more justin bieber song

we’re fighting

it right i’m

gonna beat myself up do you remember that kid

i don’t remember his name but he did a

he performed that paparazzi song

he did it in like a

school talent show

and he has this incredible voice

his name is like glason

or something like that

god damn it somebody put it up on the board

have you heard

about that rapper that’s like

eight years old somebody

throw that up on my twitter because you know who it is

the kid was on ellen

he’s a anyway

the kid has this insane

voice and the

video is this really intense

video because it’s like

if you haven’t seen it

oh dude you

gotta pull that up pull that

video up so he can

watch this and we could talk

about this do you know what his name is or anyway

just like child prodigy

singer ellen

i don’t know

we’ll find out

what the what the fuck is his name twitterverse

yeah you know you know i’m talking

about god damn it

you freaks i’ll

check my twitter feed

as well it’s a girl or guy

it’s a dude all right

it was just in yes

that’s his name grayson

i thought it was glason

because there’s a fighter named glace and t bow

what are you doing no that’s not

doing brian

we just go there’s a

video of him

there’s a video of him in like a town no

what is that fucking commercials

yeah then on youtube yes that’s it that’s the

video grayson michael

so that’s it here he goes

oh now check this kid out this is a fucking like

seventh grade talent contest okay

check out these bitches in the audience

you have never seen like pure


connection and attraction

these women can’t help

their little girls i shouldn’t say

women these little girls are

fascinated by what this kid can do

and the difference between them and him

it’s like a chasm between like a rat and a god

you know look at

these girls

in the audience they’re staring at this kid now wait

wait till you hear this

motherfucker bust this shit out

i’ve never done

anything that good in my life there’s a girl in the

background though listen to this kid’s voice

got her hand on her yep

she starts playing with her hair

yep and her hand goes away and she

starts looking around the room

is everyone else

reacting this listen

to this fucking kid’s

voice listen to this

i’ve never been that good at anything in my life and i

never will joe never listen

to that moment i’ll never hit that moment

really joe never

never listen to this song

alone joe listen

dude listen to this kid’s

voice this motherfucker’s nailing this

he’s like 11

oh i get it

and he’s in front of a

talent contest nobody even knows he’s doing this

this motherfucker is connecting to gaia right now

he’s a little kid

and he’s figured out how to do this

you know why he hasn’t gotten any

pussy yet no one’s broken his heart no one’s taking his

money he’s never had to work for

for food he’s

not getting in his own way is what it is exactly

listen to this

motherfucker i

think he needs to

check his ego though what

the girl who had her hand on her face was just riveting

that bitch is hypnotized she’s gonna be

every guy who fucks her for the rest of her life

she’s gonna be thinking

about this kid singing in the background

she’s gonna try to facebook him when she’s 40 and

she has kids and divorced

totally she’s

never gonna forget this kid

ever and he

and his partner will be living happily in michigan

uh could be i wonder if this room

smells or might just john mayer this motherfucker yeah

i wonder if this room

smells the same at the end of this song as

when it started i

think it smells the same as a fish store no

it couldn’t possibly their children

those little bitches are breeding man we got

hormones in the beef that’s not what eggs smell

listen every one of those little fucks can get pregnant

if they were going

if they were banging they’d have kids at all the kids

gorillas in the mist

yeah we are gorillas in the here’s a thing to this is

he’s got a purity of emotion that he’s connecting to

but it’s not the same as what’s happening in that song

yeah what is fascinating it’s his own

your raw fears as a kid your raw disconnection

that has nothing to do with the content

lyrics nothing just fits

right i mean he’s singing about paparazzis

and cigarettes and you know

that shows you

about music man that

it really is like all art a window into purity

a window into

purity of expression it

doesn’t matter

if you even know the words to what you’re saying

no well that’s the

thing if you don’t

know it’s the resonant part yeah there’s it’s like a

sound freak

thing but when you hear words that nail it too then it

brings it another

level oh yeah

when it’s like the perfect lyric

along with the perfect music

music is such a trip man yeah

i’ve been rehearsal last

night for like

three and a half hours

and we were working on some

stuff and we were adding

songs to the lineup and

stuff that i hadn’t

with my former bandmates

had never been able to

sort of get the vibe of

came really

naturally with these guys

and so it was like we’re

standing there

after the song going

oh that was

and your band is called zero one

right the word zero and the number one yeah

yeah but but

if you leave me alone

and there’s nothing else to do if i don’t have a

place to go or whatever what i do is

write music

and i can sit

with a guitar and

start writing

stuff and so the

and i and i

i feel like i’m

at a certain point

where i’ve written songs that actually matter to me

and once you get to that

point you get that you get

it’s spooky almost because you don’t feel

you feel removed from yourself it’s like a

great stand up when you do a show and

you feel like you’re

watching yourself from behind

like your body is acting out the

parts you’re totally committed to what you’re saying

but part of you is like

your ego is not there

that’s what it is and your real

spirit is like 10 feet you feel

like behind

you i always say that you feel like you’re a passenger

yes you don’t really feel like you’re driving you’re

a passenger and i

guess you have your hand on the

brakes in case shit goes terribly

wrong totally

but you have maintenance

stuff to do yeah

yeah yeah but a lot of the times you know

especially when you’re just in the perfect groove yeah

everybody says the same

thing too you know i mean it’s interesting it’s

a mechanic that happens

naturally i think

and it’s any kind of art like that and i

think that’s

and that’s the beauty is

what he’s singing

has nothing to do with what’s in the words of that song

or what the intention

of the original artist was or any of it it’s just

that those notes in that order

shake some part of him

and knock something on us loose

yeah there’s something like

about one song that really

hey dude put up on

counting crows mr

jones oh no

dude i love this fucking song

why you owe no one

that’s hot all

right you don’t like that song

hell no man listen dude

it was 1993

1993 i was living in new york a big

star reminds me of friends

it’s a good

fucking song even if that did bang jennifer aniston

yeah that’s all i can

think of though i was living in new york

and i saw this

video i was

watching mtv and i saw this

video i was like 1992 or 1993

and i was like

god if i could just get as comfortable as this


cause he was just so comfortable

relaxed into

what he was when he was singing

and you know when he was dancing around singing that

song i was like this guy is just in that zone what song

mr jones you fuckhead

that’s the same

feeling i have when i listen to

black label

society still born

i’m not kidding it’s a commercial

right now but we once i

love commercials

joe going back to the

child prodigy have you

heard of the

maddie be raps he’s the

seven year old prodigy rapper

and he is fucking amazing really dude he is for

seven years old

i have a song for him too if you want to hear a song

oh my god let’s

throw him on okay here’s a

let’s do keisha

he’ll he’s seven years old

remix of keys yeah

whoops there was two

things playing yeah

that happens on occasions

can’t tabs baby it’s all

about matty b and crow

county crows mashup

hey by the way

message to all you people out there with fucking

music on your websites cut the shit

what what is it nineteen ninety

eight i got your website and

music starts playing

and a midi file even worse exactly and i’m

searching all of your stupid website

for the little shut it off and

sound off what the fuck is wrong with you fella

okay you don’t need i had

music on my website to i apologize

so long time ago i grew from that

what are you doing bro you mixing you like a dj

seven years old seven

what’s his name what’s

his name to sit back

watch me stack stats

and intimidate shack

you touch smack about maddie be wrapped on my deploy

this one be girls at

i’m the boy the

barbie boys back try to beef on this

teeth on that i’m a kid that you grow midnight

the flow go so next year why you rapping flag

solo show this rat i’m a macy’s parade my boat all fast

growing up seven powwows now

this is terrible

terrible it’s awful

you got brain damage bro that’s great

that’s fresh no that is fresh that is

parents manipulating a child

that is total

they basically had this kid in their living room like

acting out what he saw

and they decided to turn it into something you know

what that kid needs to live his life a little bit more

you know you

need to tell that kid come back when you’re 11

yeah but a bit mc

chris is sweat he’s

gonna be awesome yeah

mc chris is sweating

right now you know mc chris

i bet that’s his real

voice is this coming

yeah he’s like what that’s his real

voice right well actually they’re both real voices but

mc chris just has a

super high pitch roll

voice yeah that’s how he rap that sounds

yeah i can’t live in that zone

you can’t live in that

music that’s not good to me

doesn’t resonate

blake’s counting chris seven man

he’s a fucking

seven year old kid dude

right well i mean the

style here’s the

thing is a lot

of times when they come up with this like

there’s this prodigy who can do this kind of

music he’s a

seven year old who does

this whatever

i feel bad for

all the people who do that for a living because it

basically says

your shit is so easy to do

i can make a

monkey do it i can really take a kid

who’s a six year old

could do this bullshit

howard who’s

smarter six year old or chimp have they done

those studies

six year old

depends on the

kind of champ

yeah okay this is

this is the song i was living in new

rochelle on the shitty ass

apartment that

smell like cat

piss because my cat used to pee by the door

she was mad at me that i’ll go away for too long

i come back she pissed by my door

so here i am my

piss smelling cat house

yellow haired

girl wondering what

the fuck is happening with my career what am i doing

how do i get good yeah

how do i get good at this comedy

thing i got

these fucking

weird moments

moments where i feel it all comes together

and i listen to this guy

sing this and i’m like man this guy is not trying to be

he’s not trying to be anything

other than what he is

man i wish i was beautiful

and he’s dancing my god

tell him to stop

no this is a good fucking song dude

and that guy’s in the groove man

what he’s singing this he’s having fun he’s relaxed

he’s not worried they mean it

that’s my issue with any music

as long as you mean it i don’t care

as long as you’re

sincere dude this guy’s he’s in the groove

he’s in the groove

and i remember

thinking that like man

if i could just get as relaxed as that fucking guy is

that’s like 90 of it

getting to who the fuck you really are

you know ready set action fucking scammer and what huh

lights on you

microphone whoa is this even real life

right you like that little kid coming

back from the dentist it’s all fucked up on drugs

90 of it is getting to what this guy’s at

right now that’s 10 000

hours man a lot of a lot of these guys

especially at this

to thinking to

it’s not just the

hours 10 000

hours is the mastery number

you know but it’s not just that there’s 10 000

hours of open

micros that suck

and they can’t get over the hump man

it’s not just a time

thing it’s a thing no i

agree but in his case

getting to a

level of good

getting to a

skill level

and then playing

probably at 15 years old they were probably

musically as good as they are now

physically like

you know as far as quality of play really yeah

are you a big

county crows fan you know no

but i mean like

the guys guys

in the black rose were like that a lot of

these bands

started out when they were 15 in high

school bands by the time this shit comes out they’re 25

they’ve been playing for 10 years

from high school bands to

legit playing through college always in bands doing it

again and again and

again fucking up getting better

and then at the end of it they’re like

i was as good a player

10 years ago as i am

right now but now i know what why i’m playing the notes

as opposed to how to play them or

where you just know yourself more you know with

time as time goes on you just know what notes are you

you know what

resonates with you

you know to 90

of what it all

is is finding out what the fuck you do up there

every band starts off

almost diametrically opposed to

where they end up in a lot of cases and a lot of people

call it selling out or like look at the police

police is a

great example they’re beginning

basically a punk band

and then by the time they hit

what was legit

who the police are as

artists everybody likes it it’s very commercial and yet

still acceptable as genuine art

it’s almost diametrically opposed to where they

started out sort of

i know what you’re saying we’ve talked

about that with some bands but i always attributed to

success fucking up

their motivation

i always say that

but sometimes someone has that pain

and they don’t have that pain anymore you

know when you have that struggle that the desire to be

loved the exceptional desire to be

loved i mean that’s

where most music art anything really comes from right

and when you get rich and you’re just banging all

these hot bitches

and then you

start singing uptown girl

that’s where it comes from

you know what i mean that’s what happened

billy joel he’s my perfect example

if you go and listen to old billy joel

even it’s a guy singing in the

piano and that

might not be for you and i totally get

that but if

but just listen to what this guy’s doing man

this is like real shit i

agree you know like the ballad of

billy the kid

that’s a powerful fucking song captain jack

dude captain jack will get you high tonight

that’s a great fucking song

right that’s

that’s a beautiful song

about a dude who’s in pain you

know that’s

about a dude

who’s trying to figure out life that’s a real song

you go from that to

uptown girl

right what happened

right right

what happened

i don’t know i

think you were the master you tapped into the fucking

greek beyond

disconnect from

their pain it

doesn’t mean it doesn’t

exist anymore different drugs you know well

i just had a

brain probably

yeah i think probably

anti white persons as

cocaine versus

cocaine alcohol

alcohol is an

earthbound drug

and thickens your

earthbound experience and

hallucinogenics and cocaine

are resonant

drugs that get you out of your body now you’re a

straight edge yeah you’re a

total straight edge

now this has been from

and if people don’t know what that means

that’s no drinking no drugs no nothing yeah coffee

on rare occasion but no not really that’s as

strong as it gets yeah

and what is the rational

rationale for this it’s a lot of reasons

it started out as

you know i’m part native and

scottish it’s

not a good idea to get go down that road alcohol lies

my family you know you go that road you keep walking it

yeah until you know it’s natural and

because you’ve seen a lot of people lose

your family yeah

and not just my

direct family but

ancestral roots and it was

you know it’s

i always joke it’s kind of like the

i don’t drink the same reason

like a lot of jews don’t

drive german cars there’s a little

bit of like it was used as a weapon so fuck you right

the other reason is is i

i didn’t want the

plant to become the

fertilizer and to

for me i wanted to find out who i was without

added elements or

added magnifying

glasses from the outside i wanted it to be

it’s to me drugs represented sort of like

a trampoline that

allows you to see the top of the mountain

but if you want to get there you

still have to eventually get off the

trampoline and do the work

meditatively or focus

find yourself

you can see yourself on drugs i have no question

that there are people

especially higher

order drugs like pot and and

and and mushrooms and

those kind of like more organic drugs that

you know i think you can see the

essence of who you are and even the

essence of the universe through

those things i don’t

doubt that for a second

but you got

to come back and it’s not your win necessarily

and i think you you

in your life

your your existence deserves

the respect of walking there yourself getting to that

space so that you can see it and say i own this space

as opposed to

somebody handed it to me that’s interesting

that’s a really

interesting way of looking at it here’s a story

um a buddha

buddha ran into this monk

this monk was

walking to the town

and the monks at the buddha

i’ve practiced

a city of levitation

and i can now walk on

water i’ve worked on this for the last 40 years

and the buddha looks at the monks and says

but the fairy’s only a nickel

right that’s

an old terrence mckenna joke by the way sure sure

and it’s an old

story that he used to

tell that’s a true

story that the ideas

the idea behind it is

you can get there way quicker

i agree but

in this case the

ferry has rubber bands attached to the end of it that

bring you back

and and you can’t stay

yeah but there’s an element

something from it i thought without

personal experience

without you having the personal experience

right it’s i have

babies and i’ve done mushrooms and i always tell people

unless you’ve done either one don’t talk

about sure because

it’s the the

the experience of mushrooms is so much

more alien than you could ever

possibly imagine

and so the idea that you

could somehow

or another look at it from the outside and say well i

think it allows

you from the outside i don’t know but i don’t view

yeah i don’t view it you’ve

never done it i know

but i’m saying you’ve

never not done it now yes i have i’ve

lived a huge part of my life without doing it

but not as you now

but i did you are

until i was in my 30s okay but

still there is an element of

you are now you plus mushrooms

for the rest of your life

and for the

rest of your

experiential life

and the rest of your

how you see the

world and i’m not

saying that’s a plus or a

minus insofar as the

worth of your life by any stretch but

i have made a choice

to be me as me

with no plus or mind i totally

see what you’re

saying and respect your choice

what i’m saying is you

also talk anybody out

of it you are also you plus vitamins you are also you i

grace protein you plus

water and i

think we look at this idea of this drug

mm hmm especially

psychedelic drugs

right we look at the

idea as some sort of escape or some sort of forbidden

fruit or some sort of thing

i think that’s

just because they’re supposed to be respected

i think if you

experience them and

understand what they’re really about

it’s a lot different than

it looks like from the outside

i can see the

ability in your

desire to get there on your own

right to use

meditation and

clear headed

thinking you’ve

obviously thought a lot you’re very bright guy

and you know

it’s cool to have you on the show but why

thank you there’s a big difference between that and a


experience a


experience so insanely infinitely humbling

i would not i

would not disagree with you on that fact

why wouldn’t you

how come you’re

unwilling to

allow them because i

think there is something insanely humbling

about seeking the purity

of my own essence

through no external

device other than my own concentration

and that has

worth to me

that insofar

as my life choices and my life directions

which is just as

valid as doing it

and i would

never dissuade someone to or from

the choice to do it or not do it

this has been

a direct choice i have made of my life

to see who i am

through my own

brain because

ultimately what what they do is

not alter your

brain chemistry but

ultimately release it

and i think that release is

still available to you without it now

people may disagree

with me on that and they’re welcome too

but i have if

you can get

the mushrooms on your own good fucking lot that’s

kind of conceptually

yeah well you

haven’t you

haven’t found out

who you are

right so you’re

searching for yourself you’re

searching for to find out who you are you

haven’t found that yet to

queue up the who

right now who are you

throw that shit on you want to put some real

music on for

brian to that shit up

show that shit on youtube

so that’s get something for the

youngsters so people won’t

understand the purity of

expression who what

the who are you


huh yeah how dare you

use two hands of type this is important i

never listen to the who what

oh i’ve actually

sung with roger

dalton dude

there was a concert this is all

legend by the way

there was a concert that they did

that the whose

performance was so badass that the rolling

stones didn’t want the

video of it released

the who blew them off the

stage i know this song

how do you not know this song

cause it was on the

radio you would have to be

from another

fucking planet if you didn’t know this song yeah

you have to be something

wrong with you

if you smoke two hits of the

stuff that i

smoke and you did

and you hear this

bro they didn’t have the internet back then okay

this is during black and white tvs motherfucker

yeah this is the real shit

this is a lot like a studio video it’s awesome

they just got it right man

that’s dan madonna

it’s who he looks just like my friend

pete townsend

once impaled

his own hand on his whammy bar doing that big

really yeah hand flair

his whammy bar gets

stuck in the up position

oh my god holy shit yeah

that must be terrifying for a guitarist well it’s his

right hand i mean he’d manage

but your left hand i mean i

broke my ring finger on my

fretting hand

just one of the scariest

things that

ever happened to me because of my ring finger

it’s your bending finger it’s the root of all your

chords wow and

i made a decision when it happened

cause it has

three screws in it now

whoa i made a decision that it

would make me a better guitar player

i didn’t know how at the time

but i made that decision i remember

jangle reinhart who played with two fingers and

tony ayomi who

doesn’t have the tips on his fingers and i’m like if

those fuckers can find their way

to being that

important guitar wise i can find my way back from this

huh and i ended up doing all the solos on my

first record with this broken finger

my old boxing

coach joe lake he got his finger bitten off in a

street fight

so he had his toe removed his

second toe not the big one the

second toe sure and permanently curved

like this so that he

could throw a

right hook he had a tremendous

right hook wow

so where his

index finger is

he has a toe

and it’s permanently curved

because you

know they couldn’t just you

know have it move

like normal

they just kind of had to

make this meaty hook thing

where his finger used to be

and he had it permanently like this so he

could keep punching

when i first got the finger

fixed they told me it would

never bend past there

it would always be stuck

kind of that as far as

it would go and i

have full articulation in it because i did acupuncture

oh that was the trick


did it yep hmm

it gave me full flexibility in it

my friend paul

broke his he’s

broke his window he’s closing his window

and the window shattered and his hand went through the

glass and it

severed the tendons on the last

three fingers of his hand

jesus and he went through a

bunch of operations but they couldn’t get it

right he just kept it stayed bent

yeah no matter what he did

so his last

three fingers were

basically constantly

closed yeah my friend andy had that same thing

where his ring

and he’s a guitar player too his

pinky on that

finger is just

constantly like that and you

never notice when you’re talking because

a lot of times

when he’s playing you’re like oh he’s just

that’s how he plays it’s pretty fascinating the

innovation they’re making

right now with artificial limbs and

totally artificial

we don’t even know

that yeah that’s really exponentially

exploding you know

it’s so fascinating the concept of an

artificial body is only like a few decades away totally

you know it’s really really pretty fucking

scary times you know

you know i don’t know i

think it’s you know

i mean not scary

bizer just exciting you

should say yeah

like whoa the fuck is happening yeah totally

well we can’t even

picture it which is kind of amazing we are literally

pre cell phone

humans about

like bionic

technology and

stuff and i’m for it i’m a big fan of

the longevity i’m a big fan of

the you know the

harvard longevity projects

thousand year lifespan

concept and

yeah like they’re

really working yeah but people have to die okay

here’s a problem with that

nobody wants to

start over from scratch as a baby

again but you

might have to okay

cause the deal is we can’t go on forever there’s too

fucking many of us well everybody lives forever this

is how we get off planet

this is how we get off planet

because you need

1000 your lifespan

otherwise you can’t get to the next galaxy

and so that’s

essentially why really

what you really believe that that’s what’s happening

yeah that if you’re

gonna get a

spaceship to leave the

earth and go to andromeda

or the next big star

that has livable planets next to it of which they

found 47 in the last year

then you’re

gonna have to have a lifespan at

least exceeding 250 years

and the ironic part my cousin and i always talk

about this is that

if you have a ship

leaves right now

headed to andromeda with people who can live to be

250 years old

by the time they get halfway there

we’ll have doubled the

technology and

doubled our lifespan to the

point where we will actually meet them there

and the question will always

be do you stop and pick them up or do you just plan to

party when they arrive

the trip but

that’s just the nature of how

technology goes they said the

first person to live to be

250 is alive right now

and probably 15 years old

well you know here’s the

other issue though what if there’s another form of

space travel that we’re just not aware of

i think this idea of

shooting rockets through

space is just i

think this is old

school man i

agree sundial i

agree well at

that point age

doesn’t matter because you’re actually

referentially in time

in space time you’re in

it’s still gonna

matter your biological

system can only stay

alive for a certain amount of

cycles you know there’s

gonna be it’s

gonna be an end to it a certain amount of

heart beats it has on the meter

sure but you

might be able to generate

another one with your own stem cells or own and move

into it there’s all kinds of yeah that’s the

thing you might be able to generate

countless copies of yourself

just to say we

haven’t done

that we’ve just decided to

paint them in other

ways i mean the concept of a soulmate

what’s the difference between that and somebody you

share a soul with

that’s a one being with two

bodies you’ve obviously

never been divorced

you don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about

there’s a huge difference

at me when that

bitch is trying to get your

money they had nothing to do with souls you guys

aren’t connected anymore all

right right

soulmates split up well no

what i’m saying is

all bitterness aside

earned no doubt earned

the concept is kind of like

in a fish tank if you look through

if you stuck

your fingers into a fish tank to the fish it sees

five different cylinders

that are not attached but if you keep pushing your hand

and you realize that they’re all from the same thing

and so on a

three dimensional

world you could actually have one

that had several different expressions in this 3d

world and we only experienced them as kind of like

those cylinders

and once we see past that then we can see that actually

one soul may live you

may be one of 15 different versions of you in this life

right now there may be

a chinese peasant version of you and

a rich russian

version of you and

running around

learning all your lessons at once

hmm because time

doesn’t really matter

and you chose in each time it’s like when you play a

video game the

first time you play one

level but then

later on you get several games and you’re like

you’re doing one you’re doing call of duty on one

thing and you go back to it

later but you want to play this new game for a while

and eventually you get a higher

order sort of

thinking with that

stuff when you

initially started out with

just this i

think we grow and evolve like that

that’s some

serious speculation though

of course it is

speculating that there’s a

bunch of yous running around living alternate lives

yeah mm hmm

you know i think more likely

more likely that the

whole concept of all of us

the whole concept of you and i and it’s just

horseshit it’s just a

trick it’s like cubicles

it’s like you’re all working on a little cubicle and

eventually is

going to be

something something whether it’s a technological

achievement whether it’s another advance in evolution

some new new

ability that we’re

gonna detect

we’re gonna have rather

okay i would call that

graduation i

think this is

i think this universe i

think we overreact

to the earth i

think we’re too impressed and

and i think

earth is like

third to fifth

grade in the universal growth

scape of things

and i think we come here as

third graders

and ultimately and

leave as fifth graders

but what we

think is impressed by the

earth though

i mean we’re overwhelmed by the

experience that we have here and

we think it’s the be all end all and that this is

where all the

evolution will happen for your soul and your

spirit that

there’s not another

place beyond this

that might be

at a higher resonance whether it’s another galaxy or

another dimension if you want to use

earth type terms

or you just remove yourself and go

that’s earth ends up being a

movie you watched

for several lifetimes

that you learned and you were

entertained by

but has nothing to do with your actual

existence you just gain information from it

while you’re here

but it’s not

the evolution of humankind

once it sort of happens

the purpose of this

place sort of ends it’s like you know you

leave college you don’t evolve college

what do you mean by the purpose of this

place being

civilization not the

earth itself no no as

human beings

i mean the earth itself are our

expression in the

earth plane so you

think our future is somewhere else do you

think it’s in another galaxy in a

dimension i mean i

think those are earth

based terms

we can’t even wrap our head around because we come here

i think intentionally

limiting our

experiential life we come


we come here to limit

the same way that

when you go see a movie

you don’t think

about the rest of the

world outside the

movie you think

about you sit you commit

to sitting in the dark in a theater with your ass in a

chair and that’s a

total limitation of who you are

as a human being you

could run and jump and sing and play guitar and

fight and do all the shit

but you say no

right now what i

wanna do is

experience this so i’m

gonna shut all that stuff out

cause if i did it i’d be a toddler in a fucking

movie theater

irritating everyone which is

why we kill

those people why jesus

is basically like the one running around

going you can

laugh and dance and sing

here and we’re like shut the fuck up we’re trying to

watch the movie

because i’m here to learn this

there’s an element of and

there’s value to

those people coming in

going you guys do realize this is just a

movie okay so calm down

those guys are helpful

but to a certain

point they interrupt the

movie so we tend to go fuck off

but what i’m saying is this earth

this space this i mean it

might just be it

might be the entire universe the entire span

of the human

existence from

cell you know

single cell life form to when we

colonize other planets

might be us

going through middle

school as spirits

and when we

graduate from that

it’s not that the

earth becomes

like oh we’ve

you know we’ve reached this

point we reach a

point and then we pop out and it

starts from scratch and a

cycle for new

spirits to grow into that

thing you know each each round

and then so we

leave and go

somewhere else yeah that’s the idea or that or if

there is you know somewhere is

again and uh

a spatial concept

right so it’s not

we might go

someone else

frequency we

might go somewhere else

someone else

you know but


i think what

we do is when we get to exaggerate too caught up in the

earth plane

existence we go

the whole human race has to

reach a pinnacle belief

it’s an armageddon

thought form

in a positive or negative

sense we have to evolve to a point well

maybe we do as

individuals or as an

expression of a soul here

and then we just stop that

expression and go someplace else because we’ve

learned what this

place has to teach us

the same way

you enter middle

school you don’t change middle school

by the time you

leave you just get to eighth

grade and go

i don’t need middle

school anymore i’m

ready for high

school and that

doesn’t devalue middle

school it’s

still important

it’s gravely important

it’s important to your social factor it’s

important to

the learning that’s in between

rudimentary and advanced

it’s got a point

but it’s not the

whole point and if you go

life begins and end in middle

school and if we don’t all these

get all these

sixth graders together we

gotta fucking win this

or you know

right so all the high

schools do you propose

not concentrating on the present

what do you do no no i

think that’s what your goal is and that’s how you grow

to just live in the present yeah

and own that

self and just

so not not be attached to the idea of the earth

not be attached to the idea of this

existence yeah just kind of go through it

well no i mean you

enjoy it while you’re here you have to have i mean

i’m believe in

seizing it this is all speculation right

course it is obviously it’s supposed to be some

if i knew it i

wouldn’t have to be here i know but what i was

gonna say is it’s interesting how the same


speculative ideas

keep coming

back and forth from like ancient eastern mysticism

to the idea of

reincarnation to

the idea of

you know the kaliuga

the ages of the

it’s almost like all

these different philosophies throughout history

have all come

upon the same ideas over and over and over again

it’s like they just

get to a certain

point where enough people are thinking

where they put enough

shit written down

so that enough people can

learn from the past shit

and then they

pile up like to the top of this pyramid of


and they all come to like

these same sort of

conclusions yeah i

think well i

think they’re two sort of sets there’s

the mechanical sets most religious

sects have sort of an

esoteric teaching tradition

which is the

higher order you’re only allowed to know these

secrets once you get

to a certain

point which we all

understand it’s the gated community of

of spirituality you get it you got

it’s controlled you got

well you do

have to do some work though yeah it is but it’s like

the idea behind it is

wrong you know

whenever you get people in a position of

power that are just holding back information that i

agree but i also think

there may be some value in

going you know your

resonant body isn’t

ready to take this yet

and i’m not just

gonna hand it over to you

gotta earn it

well i think

yeah well there’s something to that for your own

for your own good

human beings

you know developing discipline

and learning how to

appreciate intelligence and

appreciate what exactly

yeah and i think that’s the

essence of where it

starts now now

human power grab later

that’s that all that being said

i think the

sort of the

esoteric traditions that you’ll find in any

in any kind of higher

order thinking

come from a

level of discipline

and the idea of discipline

which is okay

because eventually you go why am i here what

am i actually attempting to do here on a cellular soul

level well also discipline i think is


it’s a maintenance

sort of a strategy that you can run

on your body

and keeping your body in a

state where it

doesn’t fuck with you

doesn’t give you

unnecessary information

and stays flat and

clean keeps it

focused in the present

if you don’t

understand hard work and you don’t

understand like physical

limitations if you’ve

never pushed your endurance and broken yourself

then you’re not

gonna know how your body responds

and how much of totally what you do in life is mental

how much of what you do in life is

about your attitude and maintaining a certain

point of focus and a certain way of

thinking and a certain resonance

of thinking

while that’s developed to discipline

i agree get really good at something and

it’s really hard you work hard at it what is the gym

but manufactured adversity

you create an adverse situation that was not there

these things

these heavy

things do not need to be lifted off the ground

right now but in the future i may

have to deal with that and in the past i have and i’m

aware of those moments

where i was at the edge of my

experience and i need to

beyond that for me to be

happy and grow

so i specifically take time to

focus in this moment take

a potential adversity and past adversity

and focus it in this moment go i’m

gonna go to the

gym and lift more weight than i’ve ever lifted before

so that if it if my body is called to do such a thing

i’m able to do it comfortably

so that i can

focus on the higher

order element of it

so that the next time i lift

250 pounds i’m not

going fuck 250

pounds i’m lifting

250 pounds and i’m

focusing on my breath

i’m focusing on my growth or my strength

or the amount of times i can do it as opposed to

everything is hard the first time

um so we set up

these situations

where we are

intentionally creating an adverse

experience there’s

you don’t have to go to the gym

and work out

you don’t have to eat better

you don’t have to do you go all

right i’m gonna

quell my own

sense i’m gonna discipline

my own relaxation reflex

because i want to accomplish something hmm

and i think the

earth is very similar i

think spirits create

manufactured adversity

we create this

space which is hard to get through

that has its challenges

and sometimes

we make it through and sometimes we fail and we go back

again and again

until we get past

these lessons

and then we become a higher resonant

being and we move to another level of

growth that may not be in

space time for

example is this something you’re attached to um

no so no you

know i’m saying i mean i’m like are you convinced

this is how it goes

this how life goes down feels

right feels right yeah

sometimes to me it feels like the

whole thing is really a mathematical

equation and that well math is a language

the entire existence

of of the universe

everything that

every little

thing is happening and

every little

action that happens on

earth animals eating animals

water pollution

farms emotions

sex drugs rock and roll all of it together

each moment in each thing are

a part of a gigantic intangible algorithm

and that everything that has ever happened to you and

everything that’s

ever happened to anyone that you’ll ever meet

and anything that’s

ever happened that’s all connected together all of it

is all moving

the human race towards one direction

much like a caterpillar

becomes a butterfly and isn’t even

aware what the

fuck it’s doing it gets inside the cocoon sure

that everything we’re doing

is moving us into some new direction

everything from

the beginning to now is moving us into some i mean

if you look at what people are really concentrating on

right now the highest

levels of science

it’s the heart of matter oh yeah i mean the

large edges of the universe yeah

i mean yeah the edges of the universe the

heart of matter

the creation of artificial

black holes the idea of time travel

we’re really getting into the meat of

things sure but

in many ways

early human

societies thought they were getting to the meat of

things and it just became a new blossoming

level became a new

grade as it were

in that school you know

early societies

right but early societies if they were constantly

searching for new

things and constantly trying to

innovate and constantly trying to

come up with the next new invention

which they always were

they’re building towards something

this thirst for

innovation at a certain

point in time it

doesn’t become a matter of

what makes your life easier

innovation becomes

a matter what else can we do can we do this

and it becomes almost like a life of its own

instead of you creating

things to help people

getting interested and fascinated

about these various

things people say well that’s how

everything gets made and how

we have all

these advances in science and

medicine and

we can help people

it’s all because of science

you can’t criticize science like

no one’s criticizing anything i’m

absolutely not criticizing it but i just

looking at it objectively like this idea

that we’re constantly trying to come up with the newest

greatest thing

and this idea

where we’re trying to constantly get to the heart of

everything the

heart of matter

the milliseconds

after the big bang

that’s not gonna stop that’s

gonna keep going

you know the interesting

thing about

big bang theory was that they

wrecking they

i think was like two weeks ago

they came up with this new postulate

that seems to be

mathematically sound that

the big bang was not the beginning of anything but a

another wave in a

series of similar actions

and that it there was no

first beginning

yeah that there were many

beginnings and it comes in tides and what we are is

human beings

were plankton

who think that

every wave is our

whole life right

and thinking that oh this waves

began when it crested

and dies when it hits the shore

when it’s just

that same water is reused

again and again in an infinite

series of waves and that

those plankton live and die in that period

until they evolve past a

point where they can either

crawl up on

shore or go out to sea

and then their

experience becomes longer

now my experience on the shore is

waves come and hit me

every four and i have a lifespan

where five waves hit me

or i’m out in the sea and

i live five cycles

you know and then i get

more advanced and more advanced

where i’m moving inland and i

never experienced the

flow of the sea anymore i have to go back to the sea

to recognize there’s a

cycle at all

cause i live

in land and now it’s weather patterns that are

months and months long and

then years and then you know as you grow into that span

and i think

right now we’re we’re then

again and again

and we think and

it’s millennia for us

but in terms of what life could be

it’s that hmm

i think our biological

need to stay

alive our instincts to survive our instincts to

think that we

are special and we are important we do matter

cause we didn’t matter

and if you do look at yourself in the

great picture of

things you go god this is all meaningless this is

pointless know this is

this is no need

for me to even be paying attention here yeah

no you know i’m saying

it’s the idea being that you know we are

this biological entity that does need to stay

alive but we are

aware of how

ridiculous that all is

all at the same time

and it’s a very conflicting

existence plus

we have this hardware

that is basically the same shit we were

using when we were throwing

sticks at woolly mammoths

i mean basically that was 11 000 years ago

we had the same hardware

then as we have now that’s true but we were using

greater and

greater percentages of it

what do you mean by that

brain pan we

still use you know

we’re looking at six percent of the

human brain you’re looking at cro magnon man using

about three

yeah but it’s not all

right because you know cro magnon man

neanderthal rather had a larger

brain than we did

yeah and it was dumber than we are

right but cows have a bigger

brain than we do too and with it

yeah fortunately

though they don’t sure but intellectually it’s not what

you have in the

brain pan area it’s how much of it you

use and to what coordination

it’s really

synaptic firing between different areas that

court that make it happen

right but that

whole you only use 6

of your brain

thing i don’t

think it’s potential


i don’t think that’s science i

think what that

is is a misunderstanding of what the brain does

i mean we don’t really know we’re just sort of

guessing like

there was some fucking

a post that i put up is a

study on conservatives

there’s a certain area of conservative

brains that deals with fear

that is larger

than on their

liberal counterpoints

which is fascinating

so i put this

of course a fucking

hundred thousand dudes

you are so fucking dumb

you’re goddamn liberal

this is reactive

fearfully this

one dude sent me like 15

tweets in a row

by the way i’m

more of a republican than i am a democrat i

would vote for

ron paul in a heartbeat

for president i believe in that guy

well he is i mean he

might not be but he is he’s an old

school republican

you know i’m saying he’s a

legit conservative

okay definitely

the fucking guy

doesn’t even believe in

i mean he’s a creationist

he’s a legit conservative

but yet i support him

i support that guy and his ideas more than i do most

liberals who want to just

throw money at

things you know i

think you look at it you know it from

just a natural perspective of

evolution like

the the issue isn’t

throwing money at things

you know that’s not money just

attention yeah

money is just and

dis affected attention basically

what we used to do

is keep grandma at home

and give her our attention in person

now there is a way i can give her my attention

without having to be there at the time

so i can pay for her to be in a home

where other people are paid to give her attention

meaning feed her

cloth her wash her

provide all this

thing and that’s

money is our way of

going look i

can’t give you my genuine emotional attention

i have gathered a

pile of attention

and i can give

you some of it in this way but i can’t do it from here

it’s not practical

and i have people in my life that actually

deserve that at a higher

level my actual personal attention

money is just

it’s an intermediary it has no

worth accept ideas

and and and

it well i mean does mean

it does a lot of

things i know but it does

it it does whatever you want it to do because it’s

where you put your attention

right but what i

think what we’re talking

about though is

taxes we’re talking

about is you

know democrats

versus republicans that they believe that the

democrats want to

throw more money at

sure also where do you

think your attention needs to go the real

issue is not that the real

issue is not

where they throw in the

money the real

issue is where are you getting

money from the real

issue is who the fuck

is financing your campaigns who

are you really be holding to once you get into office

are you really acting for the individual

cause you know you’re not you’re not you’re not really

the united corporations of america is what it is

that’s really what it is on the corporation yeah

this distraction of

tax cuts and this and that and

the real issue is

if we weren’t involved in

these gigantic wars and we just instead

spent the same amount of

money fixing up the ghettos

jesus fucking

christ we could fix

everything in this country

we would have no problems none

we would have zero

crime if you went you

could take the trillions of dollars we

spent on this war

and just create social programs

where you hire

people who are like experienced counselors

who are really educated

and pay them a good salary so

it’s a nice job and help them with kids

that are fatherless

and develop community after

school programs that’s not fucking rockets

going to afghanistan

it’s way cheaper than that totally

all this can be done

all this can be done if you wanted to really fix the

world that’s the way to do it i totally agree

and their tax cuts you’re missing

everything that’s not what it all is

where you put it

and we need a totally new way of looking at the

whole thing

we need to look at the

whole thing as

we really are

all the same thing

and just because that guy is over there

doesn’t mean

he’s not connected to you interestingly enough

that’s the way the vast

majority of the world is

going thought form wise and

the the ruling

elite and who have been in

power for quite some time

are dealing with that fact and they’re not

happy about it but if you look at

even statistical

trends in life

expectancy and family size

which used to be the big fear that

you know first

world nations

long life small families

third world nation

short life big families this

used to be the and that was the big fear here comes the

march of the poor people

this is what’s

going to happen statistically

over the since the 1970s

its you can even watch the

graph there’s a guy on uh ted

conference who

show who does an animated

graph of of

where it’s going and it used to be exactly that

india china

the southeast asia

in general africa

it was all this like low lifespan way down here

and and lots of kids

and then over here in the west

very few two kids or less

and long life fans and everybody is

marching this direction

hmm everybody

worldwide africa

india china


going smaller families

longer lives

and this is and it’s

unquestionable it’s

shocking to look at how fast

because as much as the

population bloomed

we look at those

graphs and go holy shit look at all the new people

the shift back

the other direction is really impressive

hmm nature’s a

motherfucker dude yep you know the the the complex

structure of all the

things that’s

going on behind the scenes

it’s so fascinating

it’ll it’ll tell you how to be we were talking

about you know

about the the concept of a tax sperm or

when we did the show yeah

right blocking

sperm they also have the ones that run interference

and fighting

sperm there’s so much shit

going on behind the scenes

and we’re just running

around living our lives as if we’re in control like

you are in control of like the eyeballs you got the

steering wheel behind the eyeballs

all the shit that’s

going on down there

you literally you can move

it you have no idea what the fuck is happening inside

you don’t have a clue well your

worlds and nations

your consciousness is probably

a mild percentage of your

existence of your actual

soul existence your metaphysical existence

because it couldn’t be

you couldn’t have it all here at once

or it would just be overwhelming you

would just blast

light out of

every cell or something because

everything would be so alive

and so full of consciousness at the same time

it’s just a trip to

think that you contain a

bunch of different life forms inside your body

like bacterias and

you need them to stay alive

that’s just nuts in and of itself totally

whole ecosystems inside your body

right it’s like when people get like

i want to be

commuted i want to be food for maggots and like

dude do you realize how many

living things are eating your skin cells

right now and if they didn’t you

would suffocate

yeah what you’re doing is just being a

greedy fuck

you don’t want to play you know like you have to

leave so you unplug the

atari and you take it with you

right exactly

yeah let it melt into the ground

let the bacteria

eat it that’s what

they’re here for exactly

it’s a system

no we got a

wrap it in a steel box

half the time

those habits came because we didn’t know

when people were dead we thought comas and accidents

that stillness was

death so we would

bury people who were

still alive

that’s where the bells and

cemeteries come from they used to have a bell

in a cemetery

oh jeez it literally was tied to your

string to your finger

through a tube that went down the ground

and if you rang

if you were

alive in the castle they’d

fucking come out and dig your ass up crazy

but the reason we

built harder and harder caskets is because

we were terrible at telling who was dead oh my god

they still fuck up

every now and

then there’s some internet

story of someone

who thought some old lady was dead and she pops back

out and ask

for spaghetti a ton of fun

mortality man that’s the

motherfucker that’s what

everybody’s afraid of that’s what no one wants to talk

about the inevitable end of the trip

mm hmm right

a motherfucker dude

yeah but doesn’t it make

you know all the rest of it a lot more

tasty it doesn’t

gas if you can really

intellectualize it if you

could really

wrap your head around it but most of us can’t i don’t

think i can

no i pretend to be able to wrap my head around

it but the end really it’s when it comes we’re all

gonna be white

knuckle and shit in our pants

there’s no doubt

about it man you know no i’ve seen like i

i’ve seen some people go through the

the transition as it were

if you want

to call it that and i’ve seen people die and i’ve like

it’s not always that experience you always hear that

story about sam kennison remember when sam died

he was laying there and he

those why he was saying why

now why now he was looking at somebody in the distance

and he said why now and then he finally went

oh i see okay yeah well

and you know

about dmt right

sure the brain

releasing it

and upon them


releasing it at

great moments of

great stress or

at the moment of

human death

there’s no reason why

that would be an

evolutionary change that

would be a consciousness choice

but it would not be an

evolutionary change

because nobody lives past that point

so the idea is that that’s a gateway

that’s a chemical gateway into the next state

that helps you kick the body away and move on and the

thing about the dmt

experience is they talk

to you they talk to you a lot they say all kinds of

crazy shit to you

and they say

things to you in a language

that you don’t really hear

you you just know

exactly what the words are the words like appear in

front of your face and you know they’re saying it right

it’s very very

trippy but it’s the type of

thing that you say well if a guy you know was

dying and as he’s

dying starts talking well that guy’s tripping

that’s what that is

right you know

and then the question comes up is it real

or is it just is he on drugs

you know is it all just nonsense and is the idea of

snow is it just sexy

you know the idea of

on a purely

biological level

there’s no reason

for that to

exist because again

nobody’s made

what exists nobody mates

after that point

and there’s no service to the actual life form

to let it go

peacefully if anything the opposite is true

if a life form at the end of its life if

it was just

about biology

what you would do is

flip out you

would be like chris

in blade runner you just kind of

wiggle and freak out because

that’s all that matters is get back to life


because that’s the only way you

would live to mate again

and pass on that

trait to anyone else

but if you have

an end of life

experience that softens the

experience and

brings you someplace

else that’s a chemical expression

which by the way is just energy and information

that comes from consciousness anyways you create

through your you know

there’s no root

to consciousness there’s no

you can’t find it and cut it out of the

brain doesn’t happen

right you can cut the

expression out of the

brain the ability to express it like movement and

speech but you can’t take the

thing itself away

look under petri

dish and say this is

where thought is well you know the idea of it being non

local you know it’s like a deep prox

chopra right

idea he’s always pimping

the idea of i shouldn’t say

pimping he’s a nice guy

the idea that you know

that consciousness is like something that’s

out there outside of it and your body is sort of a

vessel for it

and just holds to cut it loose

comfortably because

you’re going from a totally different it’s like

coming out of surgery

where they give you painkillers

they would need to

or you would flip out

there there’s something on the

other side going look we got it he’s

going to be in so much pain coming out of this

experience into the new

experience of being healed and different

um we got it there’s got to be a

transition between the two

so they give you pain

medication when you’re coming out of

anesthesia will know

at the beginning like

when you’re

when you’re back a lot of people

after they’re waking up they’ll get them

right on pain


essentially so that when they’re

you know they’re

waking up they’re not in horrible pain oh okay so um

in essence that’s what the dmt

would serve

if you were looking at it from a consciousness

standpoint is that you’re moving from the

earth plane to a non

earth plane

right or you’re

just getting fucked up on drugs as a nice little

treat here you go life’s over

go for a ride

well last trip

exactly but why

would you treat yourself why not that your

body’s got some leftover shit just look at this dude’s

dying give him a give him a shot see but it

would do the opposite well

a lot of people when they’re

dying they get hard ons too

that’s true there’s some there’s some sort of a disease

like where as guys are

dying god damn it what is it

there’s something

where men as they’re dying

regularly get erections

right before death

and i don’t know what it’s dying of

i believe some sort of poison perhaps

fuck me i hate not knowing this shit

but i don’t know i’m not

familiar with this

but it happens

and it’s almost like your body’s like one last chance

right blow a nut

like your body knows

it’s over your body’s like dealing with an overwhelming

you know number of

things shutting down

liver shutting down boss

we’re losing the

we’re losing the central nervous

system pressure

should fire up the dick

we’re gonna go out in a

blaze of glory

right you know your body just fucking

every beverage fucking sperm

get in the balls

right get in the balls

boys find somebody

as the moment of

death your dick

as hard as a crowbar just hoping some whore

spots it and just dives on it real

quick right

i bet it’s happened somewhere

along the line it’s probably been an effective

strategy it

might have been

you know part of the sex

rights of you know

higher tradition but

there’s a lot

of whores out there if there’s a hard dick in

front of them they’ll just hop on it

they can’t help

themselves there’s a lot of girls who like that

especially thousands and thousands of years ago

back when they didn’t even have written language

yeah of course it just dive on dick so it really like

it made them

horse then well it just horse

they just are

no they’re not they’re just diving on dicks

they might not even know that guy they might be

nurses they

might be just

in the room

while he’s just

getting paid what you mean is sluts

yeah and sluts

eliminates some

that as a concept eliminates the choice on the

woman’s part

that she’s somehow broken and

doesn’t derive

pleasure from

it or whatever it makes by the way very male


concept but

in spain they

force prostitutes to

start wearing yellow

reflector vests

because too many of them were getting hit by cars

because you know they hang out in the

street thinking

ahead picking

things up that’s hilarious

cause prostitution is

legal in spain

yeah they force

these chicks

to make them sick

looking for a good in

a reflector vest in a helmet

god damn you imagine getting a blowjob

from a chick with a

reflector vest on

you fuck is

wrong slow for the cone zone you

just sitting there as the cars

drive by and the

lights from

their headlights

flash off that

reflector vest

you start wondering

about your choices

her bad breath blowjob

stinking up your fucking car you like

how many loads does she have fermenting in her

mouth right now

wonder how many crossing

guards get mistaken for hookers out there a lot

yeah they better wear some low

shoes crossing

guards you know they used to try to be all sexy

and shit you can’t pull that off and your heels are out

no clear hands for

crossing guards

i’m glad we settled all this

which is the good part

yeah we fucking locked it all down dude

it was a lot of confusion when we

started this podcast i

think a lot of it has been

cleared up a lot of apprehension

a lot of concern nervousness

yeah man about yeah

you know whether or not

we’re here for any

particular reason yeah it’s you know it’s

an interesting

thing to talk

about and speculate but

ultimately the most important thing is

the quality of the

experience while you’re here

you know have fun

while you’re here i

agree that’s because it can be fun

that is the one

thing that you can control

that here can be fun if you surround yourself with cool

people if you surround yourself with positive people

you do what you’re supposed to be

doing in life you know find a path that makes you feel

happy you can

ultimately you can have this can be a good goddamn time

absolutely that’s why we need

directions you know we need like someone needs to like

help people

okay figure out from the

write it out dude like the georgia

stones those

those fucking so

you ever seen

those things

they call it the georgia

stonehenge but

the georgia wisdom

stones or something like that and

it was in the 1970s

somebody had it constructed in 12 different languages

in case of an

apocalypse there’s

these gigantic

stone tablets with

all these different directions on how to

live georgia

guide stones i believe it is oh nice

right pull that shit up so you

can georgia

yeah yeah in the

state of georgia or the country of georgia

state in america some guy who is a

thing they don’t know if he was

they don’t know exactly who he is because uh apparently

it was anonymous georgia


that’s cool

it’s fascinating

and and it’s you

know keep humanity to

under five hundred million people

worldwide that’s one of the

one of the principles

sure which is a good one you know

which is what an agoraphobic

millionaire who

would make a

bunch of guidestones

would write

true but you know

there is a certain amount of

resources and a certain amount of people and when the

people go over the resources it’s really not i would

say get off planet then

no yeah but

that seems way harder than you’re saying

that seems like

super super

difficult there’s

micro meteors

out there there’s 900

000 near earth

objects just between mars and jupiter right

and any one of them will just

fuck you up

right you know

you’re out there flying around in a big

ship we used to live at the bases

of volcanoes

cause it was warm

like still do in hawaii

i know but we’ve

you know what i mean as insofar

as culture we come a long way in that regard we’re

you know there’s

a lot of shit on this planet that can fucking kill you

randomly and we’re

still outnumbering

everything i

think it’d be

quicker to protect yourself and safer

and more likely

to protect yourself

from the shit that can fuck you up here

except for the big ones like asteroid impacts

except for one of the

things you’re

gonna do is you’re

gonna run into

life expansion that’s

gonna outweigh the space

and that’s like saying look

the ocean is fucking dangerous our boats are little

brown things

with paddles

there’s no fucking way we’re getting from hawaii

where there’s lots of pineapple and

everything is fine as long as we

have our little

march to the top of the volcano and dump off

the useless people

every once in a while or

a minor plague wipes out a decent number of us on a

cycle we don’t need to head to the

other continents we don’t need

to express ourselves and find out what the rest of the

earth is like we have

98 of this world is unexplored in a lot of ways

especially in the oceans

like we have no idea even here what’s

going on and

had we had that island

mentality then

we wouldn’t be the expressions that we are now and i

think the same

thing applies

earth you know

the this island

earth concept you know why not

man i don’t know

i just don’t know if we’re really

gonna be fucking flying through the galaxy

landed on new planets

just starting up a new


i mean think

about how much

of a variation in temperature we get on this planet

just a little bare

one between winter and summer

and i was in

winnipeg and

stand up up there

and whenever i’m in canada i always ask

people like hey how cold does it get here in the winter

and the guy said fifty

fucking degrees

below zero right

fifty yeah like

just the idea that that can happen

on this planet and the same planet

where in la at seventy

what is it in january

seventy yeah what is it in february

seventy right it’s

seventy go to hawaii eighty

what is it in

march eighty

right what’s it in july

eighty sure

winnipeg minus

50 and people have been living there

for centuries

yeah i played in a theater

that was like a couple hundred that’s what i mean

but go back to

human beings pre clothing

and the winter comes

wipes everybody the fuck out well they never

go there they

lived in africa

pre clothing

almost nobody ever really really was anywhere else

right well we

spread it and we

spread out a lot of people try and die

they never get outside of the box

we reached the

limit of our physical

experience what we

could actually

survive we got

and we made

clothing now we have these like

reflective astronaut

material that people can

walk around in almost

loose like jackets in almost that kind of weather and

be as warm as anybody wearing 16 animal pelts were

you know 300 years ago did you see that they

found a new

human evidence of the oldest

human being 140 000 years old i think

no no the one in israel is more than that

it’s 400 000 year old

right homo sapien or yeah the

teeth yeah yeah it’s

fascinating shit man they really don’t even know how

long we’ve been around

the really the hard part

about it is when people don’t

understand is that it’s

it’s not easy to make a fossil

like things have to go

wrong to make a fossil you have to get caught in

a landslide totally like most of the time when you die

things eat you

and that’s a wrap there’s no bones left like

when we find dinosaurs or we find any fossilized

animals it’s because they died in some unusual

big thing that

sealed them in

right when you think

about the mass of the earth

and all the areas of

levels and levels of

layers of dirt

and how many

things might be

under there that we’re not even

aware of exactly

probably a bunch of species that we

haven’t discovered yet no question

including different

different animals different

hominids you know they

found that new type of

human being recently

they believed there were several different branches of

human brains

that interbred

but they were totally different species

yeah well they

got the concept of

modern man mating with neanderthals

and the interesting

thing was the male

modern humans

fucked neanderthal women

neanderthal men did not fuck

modern women wow

because it was a decision that it was like

literally guys will fuck

whoever and the

women are like no fucking way i’m not

gonna let that asshole fuck me and that was that was

that was hilarious yeah that was

they just like

if you look at the dna strands

it becomes increasingly clear that

it was male

modern humans who were fucking neanderthal chicks

and neanderthal

i wonder if this

was anywhere around the same time alcohol was invented

wonder if they were somehow your

comics the original

yeah could you imagine if that

could be proven that the

first guy to fucking me and it’s always hammered

i was watching

this fucking and listening to country western

music yeah right

just fucking sit in the back of his

pickup truck

cracking pap s boo ribs

i think i’m

gonna fuck her yeah

right like that

woman who the

other day did you hear

about that woman who was like

threatening somebody with a

knife somebody’s

gonna eat my

pussy or i’m

gonna kill somebody yes

yes she’s threatening she was

she was she got arrested

where was that she had a

i don’t know she had a

knife and she was threatening

these two guys if one of them

doesn’t eat her

i think it was a russian lady

i want to say russian

they’re my favorites

was it here yes in america yes all right

let me look that up on google

i gotta take a piss do

we have this great

jesus hold on keep talking amongst yourself i’ll be

right back the coconut

water is good

all right where am i going red

orange cool

how sparks getting up and

going to the bathroom

ladies and gentlemen

if somebody’s gonna eat my pussy

or i’m gonna cut your fucking throat

that’s what she said

her name is melissa this is

a post on the rogan

board my message board from a man named

sharknaut an excellent poster

who posts many many quality

things and i

appreciate him very much

and the picture this

woman is fantastic

and the name of the threat is someone’s

gonna eat my

pussy or i’m

gonna cut your fucking throat

and it says meet melissa lee williams

west virginia

woman forty one

is facing assault and weapons charges

after allegedly waving a

knife at two men

who declined her demands to engage in

sexual conduct at a west virginia motor inn

the october

22nd incident is detailed in an amusing gross

jackson county

sheriff’s department report

excerpted here

according to investigators

williams who lives four doors down from her

estranged husband

at the seventy

seven motor in

showed up at his door and

asked danny williams and another man to eat my

pussy and quotes

at this point

williams pictured in the mug shot

by the way if you

haven’t seen the wonderful

whites of west virginia

this would be much more

funny if you’ve seen that

movie you seen it

right brian now

oh my god i got a copy for you

i got a copy you got

two copies i bought just to hand out

sweet to people that don’t have it

sweet it’s fucking brilliant

west virginia man

have you seen the wonderful

whites of west virginia

all right you

got one too i’ll give you a copy of it too i got two

i buy copies just to give people yeah

cause it’s so goddamn good

yeah when mayhem miller was here i gave him a copy i’ve

given a couple people

eddie bravo gave him a copy

fucking the

greatest documentary of all time it’s just brilliant

because it follows

these people once virginia who are

basically savages

yeah they might as well be living in

liberia oh man

it’s just a

west virginia version of africa

okay they’re savage

right well the interesting

thing i’ve always said that time

travel is totally fucking possible if you just

drive the right direction

because literally

you can drive into new york city

and be in the future

yeah you know

and then you can

drive to west virginia in the mountains and be

150 years in the fucking past man or in a

totally different reality like i’ve always

said that the

apocalypse is here it just hasn’t reached your door yet

there’s a lot of spots in the

world really comes and

goes a little

flare in afghanistan tell me the

apocalypse isn’t there

right tell me it’s not there

if you’re a fucking soldier in afghanistan right now

tell me it’s not there

tell me it’s not there if you’re in iraq

that place hasn’t changed in

exactly a thousand years

still the apocalypse

if you had to live there

right now the

apocalypse could you imagine if

you were out in the

we were riding a goat through the fucking the mountains

armageddon apocalypse

there’s a difference

apocalypse is when things

shall be revealed it

literally means

a vision really

i thought it was like the end no the

word it armageddons the end in

apocalypse armageddon

comes forward armageddon

which is a mountain in israel where

the israeli

soldiers will

stage the final battle to take back

the mosque that’s there and rebuild the temple of the

mount hell sparks dropping knowledge bitches

you didn’t know

about all this i had no idea i always

equated armageddon and

apocalypse to be basically the same

thing just this nonsensical idea that one is

gonna end one’s the happy ones the dark but they’re not

which ones are dark they don’t armageddon

armageddon is the battle that’s the battle

which the apocalypse is when is

after the four horsemen ride and god reveals himself

or horseman do you know that unicorns are in the bible

really i know

king james bible unicorns wow

somebody put that on the rogan board today too

yeah what the fuck

man yeah for real well that’s not weird what

compared to the rest of the weird shit that’s in there

it is i agree but it’s whenever this new

weird shit it’s so contrast

dude regular reality giants fucking women you know

the nephilim and like seriously

angel wars like the

angel wars i mean

so i was talking

about that that stupid show that i watch all the time

ancient aliens

oh yeah where they’re always

totally proposing all

these nutty concerts it’s all from zachariah

sitchinsworth a lot of it yeah

yeah 12th planet and all that stuff

yeah that’s all fascinating stuff

27 and what is it a 2500 year elliptical

orbit of a planet that comes back into

range actually it’s 3 000 3

500 years yeah

and it’s come and it’s close

it’s within flying distance

right now the idea is

ridiculous i mean the idea that they

wouldn’t have spotted it

but you know

if something’s gonna be here in

2012 believe me

folks the fucking

thing is gonna be

giant in the sky and headed our way a billion

miles an hour not happening something bigger than

earth are you kidding me

that close but

look we know for sure that

planets collide

we know galaxies collide we know that there was two

models of the

earth there’s earth one and

earth two and

earth one didn’t

have a moon and we got hit by something

and i’m not the

planet sized

right you know in this

chunk of us

spun in the sky and became the moon ocean

the ocean actually is the gap

where it used to be that’s why it’s so gigantic

you ever heard the hollow moon theory

yeah the moon rings when

they land things on it yeah

that’s one of the

other reasons why they rang it like a bell

they bombed the surface for water

hmm was that you know was i guess

the idea that it’s artificial

that’s hilarious

could you imagine if it was

you know if we

found out that it was a

goddamn satellite that they put there and just

cover it with dirt they’re

stupid they won’t know

just watch us

totally we’re a fucking ant farm

right now we’re the biggest reality show ever

that’s what we are

we’re the universe’s reality

show fucking

every day where the

kardashians of the universe alien

sit down and lounges and

drink cappuccinos and laugh

their dicks off at us

dancing around on television

have you seen

family jewels that kiss

gene simmons i love

gene simmons and gene simmons came to my show so

i will not say anything bad

about it i’m

a i’ve been a kiss fan since

you’re five years old me too

all right so what now

this show is obviously fake

and they don’t really try

to hide it father

knows his father

knows his best

doesn’t that

boy cheaper

production value yeah

isn’t that buggy because

it’s like one of those

weird in between kind of shows that i

i keep on thinking that it’s supposed to be

sold because

i’m not real because what’s real

is personality what i’m really seeing is personality

i don’t give a shit if the circumstance is real

and most times circumstances are too fucking boring to

watch so setting something up ultimately

what’s the difference

between that and taking a comedian

who you watch on

stage who’s very

funny either off the

cuff or in written material

and going let’s create a fake family for him

based on the characters he created

and watch him

react to things that are already

set up it’s even more embarrassing when you write a

script for it

because there’s no variable

at all i guess it’s

tricking yourself into

reminding yourself

to take it like that i

guess when i

watch it i just

boggles my mind like

i need to i don’t like

those shows i find them boring i watched

married to rock the

other day i watched

celebrity rehab

which is fascinating to me because no one’s

famous right

i mean eric

roberts is the most

famous one nobody gets nobody gets rehab

everybody ends up

fucked up again

you know they maybe they

help him a little bit you know like i’m not i’m not a

total anti dr drew guy a lot of people

say what he does is unethical that you’re not supposed

to take people and put him in the public eye and

make them a part of a reality show

where they’re

going through such a serious

that’s their choice

yeah i understand that but

what people are saying is it’s unethical because the

the the pressure of the cameras and the

weirdness of the

whole experience is

he’s not and sit in the

wrong direction

yeah in the

wrong direction exactly i totally

agree and i’m not a fan and

of drew no and

for a long time i was like

he’s a bigger drug pusher than

a lot of the people that he does because on loveline

on and on and

on it was just what meds are you on have you

checked your dosage you need to get medicated

and it was just

pharmaceuticals and somehow that makes it okay

with a lot of the

pharmaceutical drugs been tested on fewer

humans than

illicit drugs

with less positive effects

so i mean like i said i don’t do either i don’t do

pharmaceutical drugs either

i think what he’s

trying to do when he’s trying to get people on drugs

is he figures by the time they’re calling his show

they’re like

on the edge of suicide

and he’s trying to prevent them from

dying so what he’s trying to do is get them

happy for a bit and then hopefully they can

make it but i

think a lot of them just sounded

you know grumpy or wanted to call in and exaggerate

their problems in

front of everybody and then you know and then his his

his end result is

let’s keep this person

medicated or whatever where

it’s part of the

adhd revolution

and medicating

creativity out of people and

going everything that’s different about you

instead of exploring it

you should hide from it and

cover it up and you know there’s a big

movement in that direction i’m not a fan and i think

that it’s a

it hides behind that to some degree

yeah i know what you’re talking

about but i’ve

also had friends that have had some severe

depression and were suicidal

and then got on some

stuff like zoloft or what have you

well butchern one dude got on and it

turned his life around because he all of a

sudden got happier and he

moved his life in a more

happy direction

and he got more positive

about what he

wanted to do with his life and his relationship and

then who got on it and it caught it

okay i understand

but and then

he weaned himself off

and now he’s a very

happy guy very

stable and he was

stuck in a bad cycle

and that does happen to some people

i can be effective

in getting you out of a bad

cycle i totally

agree i think there are people who

drink their way through a problem too and come out the

other side argue with the same result but nobody

would ever cop to the fact that it was

whiskey that got him through

but you know there’s tons of country songs about that

that i think it’s

about that’s about

the strength

of the depression but that’s

the strength

of the human

spirit i think i

think a lot of ways

he found his way through it

other people though take those

exact same drugs and it

cranks up the suicidal reflex that they

never had and they end up killing themselves and i

think you know well it’s definitely

touch and go i mean

you really mean that’s one of the reasons why they go

like i have a friend who’s on some stuff

right now and he was on some

one thing it didn’t

work and then they put him on some

other stuff

i’m telling you man he’s a lot nicer

now that he’s on it i like him

yeah i like him better now that he’s on it

and he’s happier

now that he’s on it he had some sort of

legitimate issue right

there was some

stuff that i have

i have problems with and one is that he

doesn’t exercise and he

doesn’t eat healthy

and if he did

those things first

it probably

would take care of a lot of it for me

dude i cannot

i cannot go without exercising

right i have real problems yeah

i am not the same person

my trigger is way

quicker i get

upset about

things that are nonsensical

there’s no reason for me to

even let them

into my head

and i will get into a murderous rage

about them chimpanzee

instincts that need to get out you know

with this old hardware

you gotta work this shit because it builds up

hormones and it

builds up all this

you know this

fight or flight shit is all inside

you have to express it somehow

our bodies are designed

for 30 years of fucking with willy mammoths you know

i mean we have to really wrap our heads around that

and instead we’re sitting at laptops and

telling fuck you to your ex wife on facebook

which is not a real

expression of it

and it bottles it up even more as a matter of

fact you create

those hormones without the genuine

expression of how to get them out

i do forms every day i do

some form of martial arts

every single day

i do yoga when i get up in the morning

do really every day yeah and

for me it’s that same

mentality i always

say i’m gonna do that

then i wind up jerking off and go back to sleep

don’t you do kung fu

or somebody get

up take my yoga

class and just

beat off take a nap

that’s another way of unifying your soul with your body

and what yoga means that’s

what the word means

i agree with you that all martial

arts are really sort of

it’s like a is described

taekwondo as a moving meditation

so when you’re totally into it when it’s over

it’s like all the

aggression has been

drained out of you and you’re at

peace and you’re so friendly and happy

and from the tips of your fingers to your toes

your brain is connected to all

those parts evenly

as opposed to

most of us walk around with a dead left arm

most of us walk around with a dead right foot

cause you’re sitting around and you’re not

your tension’s

going to where you need it i use my

right hand a lot i use that

and if you looked

at it just objectively if you ever just looked at

the arm you don’t use that

often you’d

think it was dead or palsied because you

your tension is

so gone in his arms

right now see

what i mean

what’s fascinating to me when i get guys that are

brand new that come into

martial arts class

when they come to

jiu jitsu and you see them trying to move

their body they’ve

never really had to move

their body in any strange way

and here they are

30 looking for some new

hobby to exercise with so they take a jiu jitsu

class and they’re

going through it

they’re like robots man

it’s like they can’t do it that

signal does not get to

their feet the same way

and it’s so strange and

isn’t it just as amazing

watching them get to the

point where they can

yeah it doesn’t take as long as

you think but it is

you’re like oh

your brain is

now attached to that part of your body in a way it

never was like

half of you was on autopilot

for most of your life i’ve seen dudes go from being

that’s one of the beautiful

things about

jiu jitsu is that a lot of the people that practice

jiu jitsu are very

smart people

think of jiu

jitsu and they

think of wrestling and

think of really

strong early

meathead type men

but most of the guys who

jiu jitsu are like

they’re like computer nerds

they’re like really

smart people who figured out what a crazy

thing this is

that it’s all really

about leverage and position and technique

yeah it’s like you

understand the

variables of the

human body and the

human body’s moving in a certain direction you

counter that movement and

apply your own pressure

i mean it’s really like

it’s really like this incredibly complex

game of how to

submit a body

how to stop a body

and people don’t

understand how

much intelligence is behind something like that

everyone would benefit

every single person out there

would benefit

from some sort of a martial i

agree i agree i think

first of all i

think tai chi

should be taught in

schools like either yang

style or something

as a way of centering yourself before

classes began

i’m a big fan

do that in business and in

schools because

your brain your body are not fidgeting separately

they’re in line

what do they do in

school do they like have a

tai chi half hour or something they

kind of do like a morning


thing but it’s

largely tai chi

movement that

would be such a good move for schools

if schools had some

happy moment

where everybody met in like an auditorium

and then the

first thing everybody did yep was say they were

thankful to be there and then go through some

some fucking

thing you know that’s

basically what they do in

china which is why they’re eating our lunch

but also because they’re willing to work for rice

okay they want to work and live in fucking dorms

that was that

place that everyone’s jumping off the roof

brian foxton

yeah foxton

apparently though the

percentage of people that commit suicide in that place

is a smaller relatively

to the percentage of people that commit suicide overall

it’s just that this corporation is so huge

it’s got a half a million workers yeah

wrap your head around that

right wrap your head around a half

how you shown

up how do you govern

12 billion people

in one place god damn

you have to

cut off the internet that’s what you have to do

right cut off then you start

right then you

start looking at

their decisions

going i’m kind of with you

cut off the

internet and and and make them scared of fire gods

you know you

gotta nobody

scared of fire gods

fucking aliens they’re flying

they’re flying around around i i

i i spent a

decent amount

of time in china and in taiwan

really they

speak chinese

and so i how did you

learn chinese

my kung fu instructor

is from beijing

and he’s older so out of respect for him i started

learning get

out of here and

so that’s sweet

what kind of chinese

mandarin do you

write it or doi

yeah a decent amount wow i mean

i’m like a six year old kid i can talk really

well say something really cool in chinese like say

you are listening to the joe rogan

experience with joe rogan and

brian redband

can you say that in chinese yeah ni’sienza i tinged the

joe rogan experience

i guess with joe rogan and brian

yeah wow yeah i mean it’s it you have a new commercial

brand yeah totally

yeah i’m looking forward to how long did it take to

learn chinese on the back

i well i mean i’m constantly

evolving and

learning more but

about two years before i

was able to hold down a conversation did you go rosetta

stone or did you take classes no

books and cds mostly

and then does rosetta

stone work that’s

great the new one is awesome

i bought rosetta

stone when i

first started

learning it was the original

like american governmental

system that’s

where rosetta

stone come from it’s the old


ambassador ship

they started developing

what do you mean that’s

where it comes from

that’s the origins

of the program it’s kind of like a

department of defense kind of thing

where we get

technology from

there so they just figured out the best way to

teach a land

quickly to ambassador

ships and to and for businessmen

and it was all aimed at that and so all like

every early chinese book like when i was

starting to

learn chinese in the late 90s

all of them were

i work for the american silk company

i am trying

to buy this

where is the restaurant

what time do you get off work

would you like to come back to my hotel room

all of it is trying to fuck the

locals or fuck the locals

wow that’s funny

it’s true and now

it’s much better now

it’s smoothed down people are

learning because they want to learn

and most people

think chinese is hard because they have to

learn it for business i’m getting

transferred over there

so fuck this is awful

but if you love anything it comes that much

quicker so yeah

so if you was just fascinated yeah

did you ever do

stand up in chinese

um i oh i can i’m

doing the goal is i’m working on doing a special there

holy shit later this year

later in chinese

stand up august

first of all they’re

gonna kill you you’re

gonna die they’re

gonna shoot you

whenever you would tank

right no that’s what i hear they like me

but i hear the government probably would

you know no i mean

i don’t better not talk

about some controversial shit i

guess i mean chinese

stand up you better keep it clean son

it’s interesting

have you been there have you been to china no

never been to

china it’s never been to any

asian country really no wow

i know i need to

i wanted to go to

tokyo this year for the

k1 grand prix

but i’ve been

traveling too much sure couldn’t do it i was

just go to taiwan

which i think was

working the same way

taiwan is like

the amsterdam of china and

you know like they’re

very open society it’s very chinese and culturally

but they’re

but they’re a

democracy and like

their rules are as loose as

they’re actually more open than the united

states really

but it’s and they’re technologically

super advanced they’re

you know taiwan

yeah they’ve bullet

trains and wi fi

cities and shit like that

taiwan has a lot they play pool

i have an addiction to pool

yeah bad and in

taiwan pool is huge it’s like

a national sport

i guess so they pay

people to play for the

taiwanese national team it’s a beautiful

place i’ve been there a

bunch of times and i’m a huge fan

but it’s a good

precursor to

going to china

when you go there

people aren’t as

under the veil as they act and that

the communist regime in

china is holding on like

white knuckle

to this bull of

well of just freedom freedom

of all sorts like they can’t wrap

their head around

all they’re doing

and they’re doing it pretty well

is just trying to keep everybody from fracturing and

exploding are they

still locking people up

blocking dissidents

up yeah but a lot of the dissidents they do like

the fallen dafa

and that kind of

stuff there

half of us here

would go i kind of sure

should the point you

guys the guy douchey

so we’re locking up douchey guys

sometimes they’re you know

about the guy and i ran

their dissident is our unabomber

to some degree

some guy writes a

bunch of papers and blow some

places up and

we lock them up and you know that kind of idea like

we don’t know the

connection to

their society now i’m not saying they’re not

i’m not letting

them off the hook at all they totally do act

in a horribly authoritative way

but you get it once you

spend time over there why

and then the you know and you’ve got what do you get

they just have to

cause there’s too many people

yeah on occasion they’re just

gonna get to a certain

amount of people you can’t really govern that many no

exactly that’s what i mean when there’s one

point two billion people in your country

i you kind of get it i’m not i’m

supposed to be like

fifty thousand

that the matter you

can only i think

you can only maintain 14 000 in your consciousness

of human beings over the course of your lifetime

14 that way i know you can only keep

150 names yeah

there’s a thing called

dunbar’s number it’s 150

yeah although there are people who have a higher number

than others that’s an average yeah

hard drives pro

we have bullshit

iphone ones some people have

bigger and better

ones and interestingly enough and you deal with this

we gonna say oh i was just

gonna say yeah

like speak in

spell or what

simon says remember it was

like red blue

like if you do it like you have this one number and

every time it

hits that number it just turns off for me at

least and like you can’t go past it yeah you can’t

go past that

number capacity

hard drive space interestingly enough like

people i think was jack

nicholson who said

he was reading on statistics and he was saying

the average

human being

in modern society

and western society meets over the course of

their whole life

9 000 people

from deep connections to

how are you oh hi i’m tim end of conversation

to waving at a bus

guide 9 000 people your whole life

the average even moderate society tv

like social celebrity

like a tv weatherman

can meet up to sixteen thousand people a year

if you’re a national celebrity of any level

you can meet

thirty six thousand people a year

and half of

those people you actually connect with you spend

legit time with them and you know this

you stand after a show if you do meet and

greets or if you meet fans beforehand or whatever

you’re having

more of a conversation with them sometimes in that

30 seconds to two minutes

than they’ve had with anybody in

their circle in a while

right you know it’s like that guy in judicial

class who hasn’t used his feet in a long time they

haven’t used

their conversational

skills with a stranger

and expressed themselves

in any deep way to somebody that they’re impressed by

in ever and so you actually have a deeper

connection with and

spend more time with and are connected to more

human beings

than anybody in the history of the planet

has ever had like from

mayan priests to pharaohs

they never came in contact with as many people

and had direct contact with them

you’re freaking me out man then just an average

then you do

yeah i’ve always wondered that

because i’ve

run into so many people that i can’t remember

and it’s so unfortunate so

frustrating and

it’s not that i wanted not a person not a person not

like man i’m just more important than you bro i can’t

remember you it’s like i don’t have the room there’s no

room in my brain

i don’t have any room yeah

and i can’t maintain

where you are at all times like a

tracking device in my

and eventually you’ll come back if you hang out for a

second yeah you’ll come back we’ll be there yeah

and is it your name that’s important or that we connect

you can get a lot of people as

their name you don’t even know my name bro

you don’t even know a name

eddie bravo gotten a

thing with this dude

recently with

a guy who’s a

mma guy that he’s been around forever and he

just didn’t remember the dude’s name

and the guy

was like you don’t even know my fucking name bro

he’s like dude i know you

i know you i know you

right okay you

know what i mean people i meet i don’t know your name

right but i know you

is that okay

is from the

minute we met i

never knew your name

your name never came up you

never came up and

said hey my name is brian

johnson no this

dude he did know his name oh yeah just forgot

fucking too

many people

it was a lot of people do that though

they’ll kind of they’ll know your name because

they know your name

right so in the part of

their brain says oh i don’t have to introduce myself

we know each other

it’s not something you’re used to experiencing

right right right yeah

meeting people

after shows is it different from

music than it is for comedy totally

yeah what’s the difference

um pussy whoa

which totally

yes there’s a more girls like

singers than comedians

that’s not true

more girls want to date comedians

they want to

fuck singers but

they like them both the same

we serve a different purpose hmm

girls after comedy shows

wanna be your boyfriend

brian is right

after girls like

as we speak i

wanna blow you in a

broom closet

really if they

wanna blow you in a

broom closet

after rock shows

it’s like to do slutty shit

after rock shows well just cause

it’s a different expression

it’s a different vibe

it’s coming on just

you were so special up there

alone with that spotlight on you

that she wants that special

thing in her mouth

that dirty bitch

she wants to be special

why you dirty

bitch cause

she wants good

thing being a

dirty bitch is a good

thing i know but

that’s what i mean like it’s

girls like it when you call him

dirty bitch as long as you mean it with love

as long as i don’t

roll that way you

dirty bitch

yeah really you’re hanging out with the

wrong chicks man trust me

the ones who can

appreciate a good you

dirty bitch

those are the

fun ones as long as it’s not with negative song

no hate in your heart

right brian yes

see ya yeah how’s the talking

dirty coming along

are you working

on that yeah it’s been working on that lately

how’s that coming along yeah

you know i’ve just been louder with the grunts and

sounds but i’m

gonna start

yeah so but

did you least put a little bass in it

yeah you’re

grabbing before

that it was kind

what are you a japanese manga character

what’s your come noise

is there a drop off or is there an

anger at the end of it

well lately i’ve been modifying it so i’ll

let you hear it when

i’m done with it nice i just yelled ta da

that’s not true i whisper release the hounds

release the kraken yeah what’s the best

thing you’ve ever said while you busted or not mistake

what the fuck is wrong i take it back shit shit shit

especially when i come inside them

it’s such amazing difference

the complete different

level of consciousness between

right before you come and

right after you come

right before you come you were

looking at life through a goddamn toilet paper roll

like you see almost nothing you have the most massive

blinders on

and then boom

that’s gone

right after you come and then

you’re dealing with her breath and her personality

and where am i and what am i doing and how

drunk did i get and oh fuck and

this is so stupid why is she crying why am i crying

really whose

blood is this why am i wearing this lipstick

this is your way if these

shoes don’t fit

where’s my car right

yeah see it

listen man if you have an

experience don’t

knock it bro

these are learning


if you’ve never had

terrible fucking disastrous

sexual mishaps in

your in your

young life of course

but not alcohol induced

you never hit the same

level no i’ve been

completely responsible for it well

completely responsible and no

excuses you remember it yeah yeah

that’s the problem

alcohol’s the worst drug

did alcohol and sex together

just like jesus christ what

i love alcohol

and sex together i know but i’m saying it’s like

it’s great when you know

the person and

you know but what i’m saying is

the idea of the pursuit of alcohol

going out and getting

drunk and the pursuit

of sex at the same time getting to know people and

you don’t know anybody when you’re

drunk you don’t

know them they

don’t know you who the fuck is anybody what’s that

pussy get in there right

and then what

like done and that’s

the amazing

thing is it’s that

you can make a person that way

there’s a reason

why your dick is supposed to be soft when you’re

drunk when you can’t get it up because you’re drunk

it’s because

every that doesn’t work

on your body

that law does not work on me when i’m

drunk i am harder

than i’ve ever been in my life it’s like opposite for

that every one time

somebody says i’m like what that’s not a real thing

you know why

because you have retard genes

and your your retard genes they want to

be want to propagate in the worst

situation possible

like how drunk is he he’s really

drunk how big of a mistake is he making

a really big mistake okay

i want every

sperm in the hatch

we’re going in

look at her

yeah this kid will be dumb

and ugly yeah she

stinks her feet stink

they’re in an alley

this shit even be happened

let him think he’s got the condom on let him

think he put it on

person blump

take care of me teach me everything

you’re here to make

robots you’re here to make garbage men

do you hear far from

that’s hilarious that’s

sweet that’s probably right

probably real

that’s the spirit

that’s right

my body does not want me producing loads when i’m

drunk when i’m if i’m drunk i just

my dick does not wanna work

does not want and i listen to who you chose

it’s not even who you choose your dick knows you’re not

thinking straight

right that’s what i mean what are you doing

stupid where are you do you even know where you are

you know alcohol

especially when you’re like 20 20 21

so you have like oh my

god you have one of these like in a glass case

break yeah well i always have drunk

break glass i always tell people when we used to talk

about this amongst my friends when i was a kid

we used to give each

other advice like always say

you know you going out tonight

you got to jerk off before you

leave the house always so

we have that rule me and my friend chimney did tell

you we always talk about it

did you jerk off what are you doing

going out don’t go out

unless you jerking off i

learned different something about mary

right that rule

did they have that in something about mary

really what did they say

same thing he doesn’t that’s why that’s where that hair

bit comes from oh that’s

right he doesn’t know where it

went and she

thinks it’s hair goo

that was a great movie yeah

yeah it’s such an important

thing and some guys will talk about it

and it’s a big

thing when you’re growing up what kind of friends

do you have do you have the kind of friends that you

could talk about jerking off in front of

or do you not have the kind of friends you can talk

about jerking off in

front of it’s very important that you find the

right friends

because you can have this

weird annoying life

where you don’t really discuss important weird

embarrassing shit with each other

or you can have the friend that calls you up dude

i just shit my

pants again

i can’t even

believe someone to fart in my car and shit my pants

if you’re around with friends

that don’t always have to be the hero

they’re not always the coolest

guy in the room

you know i told him

to fuck off and then he fucking left and i know that’s

right pussy you know

if you have the friends

that you know we’ll talk

about the embarrassing

shit and be honest and real with you

then you’re

gonna have a fun life totally then you’re

gonna have a good time together that’s

where you’re like

laughing till you’re crying bend over

like a table

i can’t fucking breathe

dude some of my funniest moments ever

have been talking to a friend

after he did something

stupid as fuck

right and they’re calling you up i’m an

idiot oh my god i’m dumb

and the good

part is you have friends who are saying the

exact same thing yeah everybody

does yeah you know that’s

it’s a big part of life man

you got if there’s no sense in

like there was a

story about this kid

then went to iraq

comes back looks for a hooker

picks up a hooker

santa monica boulevard

gets a blowjob

from a hooker finds out the hooker is a dude

kills him okay

dumps the body out of his car the cop

see him dump the body

high speed chase

into the desert

jumps out of

his car with a gun suicide by cop they kill him

all because this dude

didn’t want to

admit that a dude blew him

right he would have had one of the best stories

ever ever right if you’re at parties and you’re

drinking mike tell us

about that fucking dude who blew you yeah okay give me

another beer yeah

right totally

everybody sit down

all right this is how

horny i was

totally and you know it’d be halfway to the

story and i was kind of like god is this a dude

right yeah fuck i don’t care

should i come i’m like i

shouldn’t come

too late fuck

right and then i realized it was a

i mean come on man it

would be a fantastic story dude

here’s the thing

that guy died

over something that when you go to

phuket thailand

they print t shirts

that have a soldier

making out with a

chick going and

he’s looking down and she’s looking down

and over his head there’s

like a thought bubble that says uh oh

and he’s got a huge boner and so does she

and that’s the joke it’s so consistent

they print t

shirts about it

and what happens in thailand did dudes just get

drunk and say fuck it i’ll let this

guy blow me

yeah the kitois there

which are the lady boys who look so much like women

that you don’t see it coming no pun intended

that they did it just becomes

these guys get

drunk and then they just pounce on you

because the real

women work in the in the

bars and guys go in and you go i want number 52

and you pay to take her out of the bar

and you take her someplace and fuck her

damn so how many what percentage of

women and prostitutes in thailand

i don’t know i don’t know that it’s

that much bigger

than any other country i just think

there’s a section from there

yeah they were

never conquered by

the british or the french so they don’t have the same

sexual mores that we have so they’re not as hung up

about it in that regard so

it’s not you

know there’s

definitely a

dark side to it no question but it’s different than we

experience it over here like with our sex

trade and our kind of

bottom feeder

mentality with it but the


thing is that

the ones that are in the bars you see a hot

chick in a bar

just hanging out

on in these like outdoor

kind of you know

jimmy buffety

looking bars

where people are buying margaritas getting fucked up

watching kickboxing then

these are all

these girls are all dudes

really yeah

and guys pick them up and there that’s

super confusing

everything else

sounds awesome

about thailand

right i’m like margaritas kickboxing outside

great weather awesome

i need to go yeah

it’s pretty awesome

guys blowing you hmm

well i mean as long as you keep your wits

about you you have a

buddy who keeps his wits

about him you’ll

be fine what parts of thailand have you been to

bangkok and phuket

i want to go to phuket

there’s a place that you can train at

tiger muay thai

yeah yeah yeah bling it

and there’s like

apparently there’s a nice resort that’s really close by

i thought about

going there for a few days it’s

great what does phuket like it’s a it

reminds me of hawaii it’s like a hawaii

beach community

you know it’s like very

modern very

no but touristy

yeah that section of it is it safe

for kids and shit

would you bring little kids over there yes in

that resort

where you’re gonna stay

i’m pretty sure it’s the same

place i stayed

that um yeah it’s it’s this

total like community it’s really cool

um yeah there’s no

worries i wouldn’t take them to cambodia

but they’d get

eaten right

no it’s just that the kids in cambodia

no they do not it but in between

just for the record but in

be sure in betweens people

cambodians you know you look on a map

and you see a border

and it looks really fucking clean

you go okay this is

where this country ends this is

where this country

begins okay you get to the edge of thailand cambodia

that’s not the case blurry

it’s very blurry for like 15

miles so cambodia

so they’re dangerous

there no cambodia

is nice thailand’s nice

in between the two of them

the gray area yeah there are

these cities

that yeah have no law

governing them either way

wow and they’re really fucked up

and if you walk through there with a backpack on your

real you can fucking feel it man it’s like a tarantino

movie waiting to happen

you’re just like

this is fucked

up and hikers go through there all the time

and it’s like

american werewolf in london like just

stay on the path and keep walking you’ll be in

there buddy

yeah don’t go into the

saloons don’t do any of that shit just

stay on the fucking road

god damn that’s

scary fuck that i wrote

about that once i wrote

i had an idea that i

wrote about a gray area in between

states yeah

that it would be like

a las vegas extreme

in every state because our

states are all governed by

their own separate rules and

you know remember

in utah used to be that you had to buy

alcohol in one section and mixers in another section

you had to show your id when you bought them

even in bars it was like really tricky

but you go to

vegas you could buy you know jack daniel’s

shots at seven o’clock in the morning

out of a slurping

dispenser on the

street i don’t give a fuck

so almost like an extreme version of that in between

every state

where there was a mile long area

where it was a gray area

where you’re

governed by very simple laws like no murder no theft no

does it but

everything else do whatever the fuck you

gotta do to help live in one of

those towns

well he sort

of does but he lives in a kind of a boring place man

he lives in

bisbee it’s like

he always complains that it’s like an artist community

but no one’s got a fucking

sense of humor

know and stanhope is a

savage drunk yes

a psychopath

right you know i’m sure he’s

laughing about

a bunch of shit that

these don’t know

bead wearing douchebag hippies

are staring at

but i think yeah

but i think near him like

south him that’s where it

starts to get a little

are we in a state

still he’s seven

miles away from the mexican border yeah

that dude who got his head cut off like

he and his girlfriend went out into the

river or whatever or

out into the lake

and they crossed the part of the lake that’s mexico

and they fucking got attacked and they cut his

head off and mailed it back to them or whatever like

fuck man mmm

yeah but that’s

we’re better with borders than almost anybody in the

world we fucking know man we have a real issue

you know and the

issue is not afghanistan it’s not iraq the

issue is we are connected to a third

world country

in the middle of one of the biggest drug wars this

world has ever

known dude people don’t even realize how

big the fucking situation is and how it’s fucked it’s

crazy yeah the amount of people

that have died just this year i mean it’s staggering

with tens of thousands of

people dying

over there the only

growth industry

in mexico is kidnapping

yeah it’s really

scary stuff man and it’s

right there

you know it’s one of the reasons why i didn’t want

to move to san diego

college courses

well those little kids that are getting caught that are

you know on cell

phones they have

their cell phones showing torture

on these little kids that are

murderers for the drug cartels 12 years old murderers

cutting people up and

it’s our own

sierra leone

i mean ultimately this is

stuff that happens

everywhere by the way

not too different from

early european

stuff we just

you know think of ourselves as past it now

well the problem the real true

issue with mexico is that there’s no natural

gas there and there’s no oil there there’s not enough

natural resources

to warrant us taking

troops over there and

you know stabilizing the area

i mean nobody wants to

and we don’t want to

admit nobody wants

to say that yeah nobody wants to say

about drug yeah well by the way the drug

money we’re making

money from those drugs totally

guaranteed 100

without that

500 million

the economy

would have collapsed

even further

than it went this how frustrating it

is because you’re a rational person how frustrating

is it when you talk to regular people

you know your average person you have a cocktail

party or whatever and

you’re sitting down with some guy who’s an architect

and you get into the conversation of

where drugs come from

and people are so fucking naive and when you tell them

that you know there’s a lot of evidence that the cia

brings drugs in this country

they’ll look at you like you are some

fucking nut

and you could tell them about

all these different cases

where it’s been proven true you can show

reference you know michael rupert books and

you can reference

you know the

whole the case with

barry seals and me in arkansas

and all that shit that went down

about the cia plane that

crashed recently they had been at guantanamo bay on at

least two separate occasions

crashed in mexico with four

tons of cocaine inside of it

like what the fuck

it’s another form of currency that they use

its off the books

currency essentially i mean they have to run

their own money laundering

because the shit they’re doing is so far down the

rabbit hole

that they can’t

you can’t actually take the cash itself

the cash itself is too much of a marker

the numbers on it would

trace back to the government too much so they

literally have

it would be better to

sell it for drugs like get drugs and change that money

using drugs and then resell that drug

for another currency

to hide what’s

going on better

that the american people thought

our tax dollars were buying

cocaine than what we’re actually doing with it hmm

yeah well i

think it’s just it’s also

they know that that’s a way to make

money and they know that it’s gonna

exist forever and you know

why not just

people need absolutely

they find a way to justify that they’re

gonna use it for you know the

the sand in

east is and the cons yeah you

know during

that extreme that was when they were accused of selling

crack in the ghettos yeah

and using that

money to fund foreign wars i mean

it’s completely

ridiculous but what’s really

crazy is when

you have a conversation with someone and you

bring that up

if you have a conversation with like you know

just some normal person in your neighborhood

right somehow know that subject comes up

you’re alone now

right you’re a

looney dude

right you’re that

crazy guy who believes that cia

is selling drugs

right but at a certain

point i i think ultimately

i’ve had a lot of conversations

where more and more people are like well yeah i mean

that happened in the

eighties or that happens on occasion or

you know guys go

rogue and do

stuff and blah blah blah but that’s not

you know that’s not the norm

or whatever and like no this is pretty much the

price of doing business and you know

and when we’re

literally competing with other

giant governments who are doing exactly the same

thing you know

well we’re not getting a real accurate

sense of the landscape

kids aren’t being forced to read

confessions of an economic hitman

in high school

they should be you

should be forced to

watch a bunch of different documentaries

on what we do with

money in other

countries and how we

get their resources and how we

give them loans that can

ever possibly pay back the

whole idea is that we’re trying to help them but really

what we’re trying to do is get them attached to debt

and once we get them to dent your

servitude yeah

but the pharaohs did

ultimately you know

that was the difference between the slavery

during the pharaohs time was the idea that you would


indenture yourself for a time

and then over that time like

this illusion of the

second you know like how the sex trade runs

you know what

we’ll give you 20 000 we’ll get you the

states and you work it off with your vagina

and then eventually you’ll be free but then you’re

never free yeah they

keep moving the goal post

sure the pharaohs

did that that’s why everybody got pissed and split

well that’s how they do

it in the middle east when

they’re building

giant buildings in dubai

and bring these

poor fucks in from

india and these

third world chinese

when when i was in beijing they

were they were ripping up the

hutongs in preparation

which are these


these like mud walled ghettos in the center of

the city right in

front of the forbidden city and

what used to be the

emperor’s garden

are these like

low walled houses with nine families using one

hole as a toilet and the

whole thing

it would be like as if

central park was was a tent city

imagine that

and then eventually that tent city turned into

you know literally just mud encrusted

bricks that

they made themselves and a hole that they shit in yeah

over in the middle of

their house yeah well

there’s a drain

you know and it

drains out into the

street it’s really

awful so you just

hang your ass over the hole and just drop it in there

basically anybody fall in there

every now and then i’m sure

jesus christ

what are they

drowning and shit

what was that

movie that recently came out that

the guy kid fell in it was like a kid

movie had to jump in there to hide no

what was that movie

you jumped in the toilet to hide

yeah kid movie only

all the indians

indian kids

slumdog millionaire i

never saw that

was that good i never saw that oh yeah

lady hawk actually that you know that

matthew broderick rector howard

movie with the alan parsons project

weird score

wow i never saw that either it’s at you know 80s

movie but the

matthew brodrick

plays his character felipe the

mouse who’s a contortionist and he’s a thief

and he escapes

from the dungeons of aquila

which nobody has ever escaped for

by basically

cracking his

bones and sliding his way through oh wow it’s amazing

but through this sewer

i know there was a dude

named lee murray

that was a he’s a bank heist

guy from england

who was trying to get out of his cage by

starving himself

so small that he

could slip through the bars

like he was

starving himself yeah to try to get

skinny enough to slip through

his cage well

and as you would do

after a while

yeah but that’s retarded you’re not

gonna do how don’t you

think the bars are too

small for you to do that

well eventually what they do is they make sure you like

make sure your

skull and your hips can’t get

through yeah come on man you ain’t getting through yeah

that’s what that

yeah desperate man

where were we

anyways yeah

that we really went like

sideways i blame the lady hawk

reference and that was

really totally weird

but in the hutongs

in china basically

to live in beijing

to live in the big city you had to

have a card

that says you live there

it’s like as if new york said look

there’s too many fucking

people in new york yes everybody wants to live here

but since we don’t charge

for rent anymore it’s a communist society we got to

have a hierarchy of some sort you either have to have

lived here a

long time or you got to give something up to so

they don’t pay any rent at all no

well you can

outsiders do and

it’s a weird

system but essentially you can get a better

place by paying

but essentially your

basic level

stuff is there so what they

would do is

they would go

to these little towns which were

piece of shit towns that they were having the communist

party was having to maintain they have to run

water out to

these dipshit towns that have nothing to offer

they’re just out there and they had to provide

for them they go into the town they go all right

everybody out

we’re taking all the wiring back and the

plumbing back and we’re taking all the concrete and

everything we’re

going to pulverize this

whole city and this

whole town’s

going to live in a high rise in beijing

that you’re going to

build yourself

so we’re gonna give you the construction for two years

the best workers here are

gonna go into the city

you’re gonna work on this tower

and then by the time the

towers finished everybody moves into it and we’ll just

pulverize the whole city

it’s as if we went to fairfield

california or some small town

where the industry has left so what’s the hook

that’s there is none

other than you don’t get to have your old town

in your nice little village

so they actually do build this

place and they actually do live in yep

okay okay so it’s not the same as

what’s happening no but no

but yeah no they actually pay off eventually but that’s

the good version of it or whatever in dubai they just

in dubai it’s interesting

cause they stopped paying

and the fucking workers just

started walking home

they just all packed

their shit and

started walking to the edge of town that

whole place is so

crazy that they were

they were so yeah

yeah they were bawling

at such a high

level and then

it just kind of all came

crashing down well

based on it’s a resource

based economy a

limited resource

based economy and you can’t

eventually that’s

going to go

dry no matter if it’s now or 50 years from now

you’re banking your whole

worth on oil

these fuckers are

going to be hocking rugs like they were in the 50s

sooner than they know it

and it’s gonna

be a creepy period

for them well they also have debtors

prison so you can’t be

you can’t be

in debt you can’t just go bankrupt over there they

just lock you up in jail

right so a lot of people they parked

their mercedes

at the airport got on a flight and just left

everything behind totally

i don’t wanna be in

jail fuck you and your country take care exactly a lot

of people were living there like

michael jackson was living there

i mean it got to be this you

know really the idea of this enchanted paradise place

where millionaires and just

sounds like nuts

it sounds like las

vegas run by

southern baptists

yeah the whole

thing is really fascinating

religious police like i got him called on me yeah

during my show

during your show yeah in dubai yeah

i was i was

i was doing a show with john lovett’s

of all people

i guess and

he i was i did the

first 45 he did the

second 45 and i

introduced him in between show

that you know our shows and i come out in this and

so i’m up on

stage and i’d gone up to the top of the burj

khalifa the

tower the tallest

building in the

world i’ve now been in

four of the tallest

structures in the world

school whatever blah blah blah what’s that feel like

it’s pretty odd

it’s actually

you know what

it looks like it’s the same view you get in

a landing airplane you know when you’re flying into lax

and you’re over

what would be pasadena and all that shit and

you’re that high in the air that’s what it looks like i

would just start shitting and pissing about

crazy i pass out

but it’s all dirt it’s terrible and

i even said like i

think it’s great you guys built a

tower that high

dirt looks its best from

about 3 000 feet you know what i mean

dirt up close sucks but

all this dirt so

great to see

cause there’s no

they haven’t

planted any

fucking trees it’s all construction it looks like shit

and they don’t even

like the biggest observation deck

doesn’t even face the

water the caspian

sea because they wanted to impress people with

what the city looks like so they put the observation

deck on the inside well the city hasn’t been built yet

so bullshit anyway so i go up to the top of it

it was originally called the burj dubai

based on the city

the is she khalifa the

the president of the

uae gave them ten billion dollars to finish the

tower ten billion

dollars to finish it

cause it didn’t look like it’s

gonna and so

on opening day

they decided you know what fuck this we’re

gonna name it burj

khalifa after him

like this impulse thing

but you go up in it i was one of the

first 200 people to go up in it you know and

and i go up in the gift shop all has shit that says

birds do buy on it and it’s the same bullshit gift shop

crap you’d find at the sears tower

or in disneyland

it’s fucking golf

shirts and and pocket

knives and bottle openers and they all have

birth you have little

paper weights

where there’s

water in it and you can shake it

no comes on the little

towers no snake

sandstorm maybe one

right but they

it’s stupid like

and but it all

still said birds dubai on it i’m like this

motherfucker gives you ten billion dollars

and you can’t replace the bullshit printed

t shirts in

twenty four hours

what you say this yes

so i basically what i said on stage was

it’s pretty rude to monsieur khalifa i think

that you you know that you did this or whatever

cause i’m not paying for my

hotel room but when i call room service they say

they say yes mr

sparks they

don’t say the guy who was in the room before me

you know and

and i was actually trying

to say something differential respectful to the guy

right you know

well it was the fact that i said

monsieur khalifa

instead of shake khalifa

that drove this one guy

crazy and he

stood up in the back like

eight tables back and people were

laughing so i didn’t see this happen

he was back in the dark he

said and he

storms out of the fucking place

whoa so i walk off

stage i finished my set it was a

great set actually i had a

great time and there was

these like 40 000

tables you know

every round

tables in the

front full of

shakes and these guys

and women in

their hijabs and burkas and the

whole deal and then

their business partners from the west so all you

know it’s really weird

so i go off stage

and promoters there and he goes uh yeah uh

you said something

that offended one of the

shakes who was here and so he

called the cid

the religious police and they’re here

and they’re

gonna take you

into custody we’ll try to yeah this is fucked up wow

we’ll try and mitigate it

as much as we can

but the fine

could be as much as 25 000

and three days in jail

but we’ll try and talk them down and it

might not be a

big deal because we’re not even sure what he was upset

about yet and we’ll try to talk to them

but can you go out and

check this out

can you go out and introduce john

and then come back and we’ll deal with it

so i walk out on stage

and i go up on

stage and i introduce john

and as i’m on

stage introducing him i see them come down the

aisle i see the religious police

these there are

three of them

in these white

shirts with a little

belts across

their chest and little

stick holsters and

stuff and they’re walking down the

aisle towards backstage

and they go backstage

and i introduce john and instead of going

backstage i walk straight off the

stage and walk

right out to the lobby

where they had a

table set up for me to sell shit and sign

things whereas

where i had intended to go in the

first place right

but i walked

i just instead of

going backstage i went straight out

front i’m like they’ll find me out there they’re

gonna find me they’re

gonna find me but i’m

gonna go out there and do that shit first

you had to sell your

merch yeah right

so i go outside

and i’m taking and a bunch of t

shirts and shit out there totally

and dvds and it took

pictures and blah blah

and i had a

bunch of people

come out because john is jewish i’m not jewish and they

definitely have issues

with jews there so a lot of them came saw me and didn’t

stick around to

watch the jew

right assholes

anyway so they come out

and these guys are back there for 10 fucking minutes

before they realize

he’s not coming back right

and so they turn around and come out to the office and

right when they walk out i’m getting a

picture with a

shake and his wife

like this like you were in fucking wisconsin

arm around both of them big

stupid grin

they’re smiling he’s got his fucking

son classic sunglasses

white shawl the

whole deal is

white burka

you can’t even see her fucking this is it

and i’m just a big

smiley picture i’m

assuming she’s smiling and

um and they come out and they go

oh if he had said anything offensive

these people

would be they

would not take a

picture with him this shaker here and his wife

would not be taking

pictures if he said anything were saying they’d saw it

they watch so they

basically said

he’s not he

didn’t offend anybody because if he did they

would be mad too

and so they went to the

shake who was

standing by the doorway i didn’t know who it was but

apparently he was

standing and they walked over with

their arms crossed what did he say what was it

and he goes

well it wasn’t what he said

i just thought that

other people

might get offended he

started backtracking on what he said oh

so they stuck around and

watch john show for

about ten minutes

to make sure he wasn’t doing anything on toward and i

think they ended up finding him

twenty five thousand dollars

find john twenty

five thousand for mentioning

his judaism too much

what yeah fuck that

yeah don’t ever go there here’s the other yeah

dude oh my god

that’s so crazy

cause there

wasn’t anything else i mean he does this

thing bob saget is gay the song he does which

might have been it

cause you’re mentioning homosexuality is

worse than mentioning

judaism there i

think almost

they conflate the two but it’s psychopath

i mean it’s

crazy behavior

imagine if fred phelps’s family ran vegas

who’s fred phelps the

westboro baptist

yeah got hits or like

imagine if they ran vegas

oh my god and

every time you were you were having a

great time in vegas

you had to like kind

of stop and make sure that nobody went and told fred

phelps his family did you have reservations

going there

and performing there and do you like it’ll be okay

not really i felt okay

about what i was

gonna say and i knew that

like that was an

issue but i didn’t

think i was

going through my act going

is there anything that they’re gonna come

how much did you

swear to swear at all yeah

yeah there’s no problem no they didn’t they

weren’t bothered by that sexual

stuff you allowed to talk

about sexual

stuff yeah really yeah how much

so b level i mean not by b

talk about popping pussies and

stuff no no i

wouldn’t go there

what is what is popping

pussy that’s

where you snap it

what do you do with your fingers no you just pop it

how do you do that just pop it what

the fuck is i don’t know what that means there’s songs

about it you know a two live crew pop that

pussy mmm i

think they’ve just been

fuck don’t find that on youtube whatever you do

i see little fingers moving

yeah cut the shit young man

yeah i just

i was more interested in just the

experience of

going there like

this should be really fucking

good yeah we did a

ufc in abu dhabi

it’s a abu dhabi’s difference interesting

there’s a different tone between that and dubai

i refuse to fly in

dubai for that reason i

didn’t want to fly in there dude

and plus i knew

what they did with their

labor how they got

these people from

world countries they promised them an extreme amount of

money and then when they get there they take

their passports away and give them a fraction of

their money

right they live in squalor

conditions like

i don’t want to be connected totally

yeah i don’t want to feel that

yeah well at this

point it was already kind of on its

downward arc and i was just curious as shit to see like

where everything because it was

literally like cranes

it was something

stupid like

twenty two percent of the

world’s cranes

were in dubai

and they were

giant yeah those

cranes that they used to build the

world’s tallest building

what the fuck

stupid yeah

stupid yeah

and by the way

burj khalifa the tallest

building in the

world they decided they want the

world’s biggest mall as well

so they bailed it at the base

okay the base of the biggest

building has the biggest mall in the

world okay and

they decided to use bigger than the mall of america yes

they took by the way

the way they did it was we

need to get our

pride back people

they decided to take the design for the mall of america

and duplicate it

so they can

double it that’s what they did

those cunts exactly

and you know what it is

the mall of america is

basically round

it is ovular

so there are these two

giant balls at the base of the burj

khalifa it is the biggest dumbest

phallus you have ever seen in your life

so fucking obvious see that’s the most

attractive thing you said all

night i want to go to that mall

right now right

by the way the

way you go into the top

is through the mall you

start in one

of the balls and you go through this writing

thing how is there food court

is it good it’s ridiculous

is it good do they have cinnabon

no it’s just insane

no cinnabon

no it’s not good

well i mean

they have they better have starbucks and cinnabon

yeah well i

guess yeah technically they do have starbucks

i don’t know remember singing

but they had like

they had candied

dates with caramelized

almonds inside them

wrapped in like a leaf of vanilla

frosting or something

and box just rose and rose

cause that’s

and they were

fucking amazing i brought

boxes of them back to everybody that was the

thing middle east

is quite a trip man

one thing i wanted to get into

with you before we wrap this

thing up it’s 35 30

jeez i’ve read i’ve seen a lot of shit one

thing that i saw that really brought my

attention to you

was you got interviewed at the airport about 9 11

right and it was

pretty fascinating because

you know there’s two

groups of people usually that

you know when it comes to 9 11

there’s this people that say well you know

obviously you know

the government makes mistakes but you know this

was this was we were attacked by

you know some

some you know

terrorist organization there’s a reason why we’re in

these places over

overseas and we’re there to

make sure that we can have freedom here and then

there’s another

group of people that think

hey something

happened here this is an inside job there’s

a lot of people there’s a lot of facts that don’t jive

there’s a lot of information that

doesn’t jive

but a lot of

those people are

crazy yes and a lot of those in

those you know 9 11

truthers like you listen

to them and there’s you know you know the expression

the term confirmation bias

where you’re looking for information that’s

gonna confirm

your suspicions instead of

just be compulsive

religion is

based on that yeah

9 11 is the biggest

thing for that

it’s a crazy

thing sure but one

thing that’s been

to me proven

that even i don’t know what

happened on 9 11 i don’t know if there was government

complicity i don’t know

i don’t know if you know the

statements of

you know wolfsburg and rumsfeld

and dick cheney

i don’t know how many of

those are accurate and how many of those

we need a new

pearl harbor

and you know i don’t know how much of that is real

but i do know that if they did do it

they could pull it off

because i’m paying attention to the way people are

reacting to some people that

refuse to think that

it’s possible that the government

would ever be involved in anything shady at all

there’s a giant group of

you know lover to

leave it there’s a

giant gods guns and government

right group in this country yeah

you could pull off almost

everything you can

count on it you can

literally bank on there

how they’re gonna read

stuff yes exactly the

sarah palin

book signing

people you know they’re waiting in line you know you

could trick them with fucking

anything three card

money you know you can get and if you

scare them it’s even better because that fear part of

their brain will trigger

and they will

everything will dovetail

bottleneck through that

and next thing you know they’re

drinking beer

watching fucking red dawn

screaming wolverine

right they’re ready yeah

what do you

think happened on 9 11 what is your feeling i think

well i think

i’m a big believer in that you know

most of the time the official

story is horseshit

especially on big

scale things like that i think

there’s a good combination of cya

an intentional

push that mixed at the

right time robert

anton wilson said

yeah there’s

a there are

groups that run the

world there’s not more they’re not just one

group that runs the whole

world there’s several that are trying all the time

and they fuck

up like anybody else they have shit sons who do

don’t do their job

right and ruin the family fortune for a decade and

have to come back

so i don’t believe in this perfect

world order

bohemian grove

bilderberg group

thing where they get

everything they

want there’s nothing we can do and blah blah

you know they like

that’s where i

bury from the alex

jones kind of

their perfect

monster it doesn’t work that way everybody is

and i think a lot of times

they do know

the rice dog fire and

those kind of

things false flag operations work very well

building one yourself

is very difficult

letting one

happen when you know it’s already coming by looking the

other way like some people argue with

pearl harbor was we knew it was coming but we also

knew that was the impetus to get in there and we had a

bunch it you know

well we pulled out american warships yeah

we pulled out warships because we knew that it was

gonna be hit me in the actual

there was history channel documentaries

that have aired recently that have gone

as far as saying that we were

aware of the attack

and allowed it to happen so that we’d be brought into

world war two

much like i think

comedy plus

you know tragedy

or time plus

tragedy equals comedy

you know people can make comedy out of

something as long as it’s far enough in the distance i

think a lot of us can also accept things

the further they’re in the distance

right like world war two or golf a

tonkin exactly

once you go oh yeah well sure there was the

right to talk

about the golf of

tonkin incident yeah

yeah pearl harbor probably had some i always

but this just happened

yeah and we want to believe in our own

we want to believe that this is a

different time

unfoolable because

this is and

those people were

idiots we on the

other hand i couldn’t get fooled like that

and i think

i think like the

like the recession

i think the recession was

something that

could happen at any time

because our financial

system in this country is a

house of cards as it is in most

countries around the world it’s

based on what the chinese call

fong p which means fart air

it’s just it

smells and you know

it’s there but it has no substance at all it would not

you know fart air is there

but you can’t rest

the economy yeah but you can’t rest your cup on

it as it were they describe the economy that way fun p

that’s amazing and so

we know that

at any given time you

could you could

crush this you

could and you

could bring

down because it’s not even

based on gold anymore

right money

based on that

even even money

based on gold is a resource

that people have to agree has

worth right

which is even i

think ridiculous

less flexible than

creativity you know

i know what you’re

worth as a human being

i can’t eat gold once i need it but i know

you guys can figure out how to farm well the really

crazy thing

about gold is the

zechariah sitchin

definition of why we’re attached to it because

we were told

that we were genetically programmed to dig it up

along with diamonds and other well

gold no the reason we’re

go for gold is he

wrote this in the 12th planet is

a book that came out in the 1970s

that the ancient sumerians

when they were

were being raised by the

anunnaki the idea that the

anunnaki came from this

other planet

these aliens and they intradicted

their dna into

human dna to

teach them to mine for gold

and the reason

why they wanted them to mine for gold is they needed to

suspend gold particles

in their atmosphere to protect themselves because

in their quest for

technology much like us they destroyed

their environment

and they needed it puffed around here

temporarily like

in part a particulate form

which yeah and that’s just conductivity work

sense yeah well they didn’t figure that out

until like 2000

it was like they had some sort of a symposium on

climate change

and they were trying to figure out ways to

protect us if we lost

a good percentage of

our environment and one of the ways was to suspend

gold dust or

reflected particles in the

atmosphere to reflect the

other thing is

paint your fucking roof white

if every house

in america had a

white roof instead of a

black roof it

would reflect as much

light as the

polar ice caps

would and what

would that do for us

it would reflect the heat

i mean that’s what

ultimately the ice does it

doesn’t specifically cool

the planet in that regard it reflects the light back

instead of absorbing it

and the absorbative heat once

the ice is gone the darkness of the rock itself pulls

the heat in

whereas the sunlight

reflects it back

you know the

white reflects it back so one of the big like

green tech things that they’re trying to push is

white roofs or

light colored roofs huh but what

about solar

well solar absorbs but and uses it for another source

but in so far as rooftops you know

that aren’t being used for that like sand does the same

thing it’s why

you would have to make a choice yeah well

not necessarily environment or free electricity you

get as much as you’d want and then

every other portion will be

white eventually we will have

reflective solar

panels we’ll have

like the light bounces off the

black silicone and then

which is a relatively new

molecule that

we’re using

well i say we but you know

human beings will be used we stand up

comics yeah

totally come up with new

the inside of it will be

will bounce the

white back into it and then

it’ll look white

to the outside viewer but certain uv will get through

i’ve always wanted to get off the grid

i really need to do it it’s one of the reasons why

good i moved to

colorado for a bit

to get off the grid you

could totally do it here

you can totally do it here you get enough sunlight your

yeah do work like a charm but the

but insofar is

uh you know

the the concept of you

know getting

back to kind of nine eleven and the idea of was it

you know manufactured or was it

you know we were attacked or whatever i

think there’s a case for both at the same time

that there were people

in the government who saw opportunity in letting one

slide through

and maybe they didn’t realize how big it would be

maybe they didn’t realize that it

would be as big as 9 11 that it would be

maybe another

yeah but if they were gonna let

planes slam in the ideas that’s what i mean as they do

stood down and let

this happen

but they had been

they had been warned

about people hijacking

planes and slamming

buildings in advanced i

agree but maybe they thought they could

maybe again

maybe how many

people have

to be complicit

how many people have to be complicit is it a

small number and everyone else just follows

orders it’s a

small number and everybody else has to

think they’re falling the

right orders and their

compartmentalize sure it’s like the arguments

against chemtrails

you know if you look at chemtrails and you go okay

maybe here’s what

here’s what you have to do here’s your

tough decision you’re in government

somebody comes

to you and goes look there’s unequivocable science

we’re fucking up the atmosphere

and if we don’t

start having more reflective

clouds in the sky

we’re dead especially over big cities

so what we’re going to

start doing is we’re

going to start seeding the

clouds with barium

and aluminum

and we’re going to

bring back the cloud

cover over our

major cities

so we bounce back some of the

pollution and we bounce back the

light the other direction

and we have to do this

otherwise 40

of the american populace

will die why not tell people

about this because

by doing it 12

are going to die barium and aluminum

will kill a certain number of the week

among us let’s say this is a bad so you believe

that all those

things in the sky

those lines are all no

i’m just saying i’m using this

as an example

do you believe that though what do you believe

well that’s the thing

i do think there’s weather manipulation

going on there’s

definitely weather


that’s been

for it’s been documented it is

you know in georgia if there’s

certain forms you have to fill out you know and

yeah i forget what the

exact subject is

but it’s a government form and one of the

things has to deal with weather manipulation

so it’s a standard totally

we’ve already shown that it can be

done totally in the 70s the government decided we were

gonna be on the cutting edge of it

american government decided we were

gonna be on the cutting edge of it and by the way

at that same moment the chinese went oh yeah us too

and just immediately started


ahead of us in the technology

but the point is

the 9 11 part comes in

you’ve got these

planes flying over you’ve got soldiers

going up every day

and they know they’re

dropping barium and aluminum into the

atmosphere and they know it’s a bit of a

secret thing

and they know

it’s for the betterment of management well

where do you

get this information though how do you know

that no i’m just i’m

using this example whether it’s true or not

is amazing as

a maybe as a

maybe so theory

yeah this is

where the 9 11 part kind of

where it kind of

there’s parody in the argument whether or not it was

an external or an internal threat

or who needed to

stand down who needed to be

on the game

in the game and outside the game

okay so you’ve got every day

you got soldiers you come up to him and you go look

we have this new plan

it’s necessary to save lots of lives you’re

gonna fix the atmosphere

you guys are on

the tell the soldiers this well no you got this

front line thing

cause you’re not

dumping shit behind your

plane you’re not

gonna do it

every day without some sort of an answer

so they’re gonna

go to you look this is what we’re doing and you’re

gonna notice the difference

every day you’re

gonna drive home from your job at the base

and you’re gonna look up there’s

gonna be cloud

cover that wasn’t there before

and you’re part of

that mission it’s very important part of that mission

and you guys are okay how does this not get out though

don’t you think this

would get out

don’t you think there’d be some dude that

would be his fucking

voice would be altered on some

television show well i

think there are

guys like me that what i was doing was

going to save the environment

but i think it’d be well that’s i

think they picked

their guys very well

yeah and you know so how

often do you

think this is happening that they’re

spraying shit

in this guy

i mean if you look

at the crisscross patterns in the air over los angeles

three times a week okay

but do you know though that that’s been proven

that turbine engines interact with

monster in the

app i’m not even arguing no no i’m not arguing whether

they actually create clouds

i mean it actually a moisture

and when it gets spun

the contrail

designs of the

chemtrails don’t but

that’s not true

but it’s dependent


dependent on the amount of moisture that’s in the air

i agree that

you can collect

that moisture and make it do certain

things and that’s what weather manipulation is

right but these planes

i’m not even

arguing whether

it’s valley

leaving these trails

is so substantial

that you’re including commercial aircraft

because you

would never crisscross commercial aircraft

in the atmosphere you

would never

create perpendicular lines

in the same


level commercial

planes and by the way

near cities they don’t fly at that height

the the the the

trails that

you’re seeing that that are effectively what

would be called chemtrails

are are higher

than planes fly when they

enter los angeles

atmosphere to land or take off

and they do not reach

those altitudes

until they are well outside that

area when you say crisscross okay

in a checkerboard

flight patterns

have you really

studied these yes you

would know what

happens ever crisscross

planes in the air at that

altitude but why

don’t you and people are coming from different

directions they all go the same way no they

all bank around they go in circular format like this

but they and and on two

levels if that’s why you have

the east and west or

north and south

landing strips

that’s why you

circle people around in a specific pattern

well that’s true

that seems to be something that

should be discussed like

why isn’t that in

lax burbank has to go that way it can’t circle around

that much it’s not that far away you know so that

those burbank airports

yeah and then you have john

wayne in orange

counties coming up this way i

agree there’s only

so much so they

get into gulf

streams like a road and they have

and they have

they have like what

would be like sort of cul

de sac looking

turns that the

planes go through and you’ve been in them

you’ve been

in holding patterns they go around and they’re

circular and they go back around to a specific landing

strip but they

never crisscross

is there a point

where they really do

a real audit of the actual patterns over la this is a

tough yeah but you can’t just say that i

think you have

no i mean online you can actually see the airplane

yeah but you

patterns but you can see

where they’re supposed to go exactly or

where they do go

where they do go

what about cargo

planes and a

bunch of other different kinds yeah

well they all use the same path point

technically they

should yeah because you don’t you

would never

you would never have a

plane criss

cross another the

point is i’m not arguing for or

against chemtrails i’m

using it as an example okay

i’m using this example let’s say

based on a hypothesis

you have soldiers who are told

every day you’re

doing something to help the environment

and you’re flying up

every day and you’re

dropping this

barium and aluminum into the

atmosphere because this helps us create

cloud cover and this is the

whole point

and you go okay good all

right as a soldier i’m on board

that’s great

and then one day

somebody switches the canisters

doesn’t tell you

don’t tell anybody else

and you dump

pesticide or a poison or lithium

on the public

lithium and you don’t

and you know i’m not saying this happens i’m just

saying that’s

where the conspiracy

doesn’t have to involve you at all

you will do exactly what you’re told because

you’ve been doing something that you perceive as good

like every plane that went

north to do a war game

to practice

against russia

as if it was necessary

none of those guys were bad guys

they were just following the

order that was

given them and then eventually that gets to a

smaller and

smaller portion of the group

that are on

a need to know basis and they just kind of offer

orders and we’re going

this is the day we’re

going to do a big nato exercise okay

how’s this different from any

other day we do a big nato exercise

well on this one

other shit is happening

but you’re not privy to that

point you’re

still a good guy that’s why

so many good guys can be involved in something

nefarious without them actually being involved in it

you know specifically

they don’t have any inclination or any information

and that’s where people’s fears i

think of chemtrails come from

is the idea

whether it’s true or not is that they’re afraid someday

dick cheney and his buddies

have said yeah we’ll

decide to switch the barrels

you know and people

think that this is

completely outside the realm of possibility and

absolutely wack o ness and

you’re talking

crazy but operation

northwoods is the one

thing that always rings in my head and if you’re not

aware of it go read

about it online because

it was a document that was

drafted by the joint chiefs of

staff signed

by the joint chiefs of

staff so they were down with this proposal

and it was vetoed ultimately

and it was in 1962 and the idea was that they were

going to attack american

civilians they were

gonna attack guantanamo bay they were

gonna blow up jet

liners and save

their way to cuba

on their way to cuba

and they were

gonna blame it on cuba and we were

gonna go to war with cuba

to do this exactly

it’s amazing and

those guys a lot of

those guys by the way

still work in the military

absolutely and have by the way

risen in rank

since then and by the way we’re

never arrested and by the way

everything where you don’t have a massive fucking

culling of all

these corrupt people and government

everything evolves

including corruption

and if corruption

existed in the 1800s it’s

still around

today and if it

existed in 1962 and no one went to jail for it well

where’s the

track the lineage exactly who hired who so

these people hired the next

generation and they

trained them and then it’s all the same thing then

the chemtrails argument is

what i’m basically

using is an example of how you

could create a 9 11

kind of circumstance almost any level

just good people

would be involved

and they don’t even know and don’t even aren’t even

aware of it because they’re doing something that they

think is helping

you know what i mean

let’s say i don’t know if i

agree with you

about the chemtrails

thing i think

i need to look into it and find out what the deal is

with the weather patterns and i just don’t know how it

could be so prevalent

it just seems

silly to me

it seems like you

would have too much fluid

you’d have too many you know it

would be too obvious too many

people would be talking

about it again

i wouldn’t do it during the day i

have no why

wouldn’t they do

it at night

well the idea is hey

maybe clouds only last a certain amount of time

or you needed to do it

during sunlight

hours but the

point is either way i

agree with you

that it’s possible that it

could happen and i have no dog in that

race at all

i was using it as a pure example of

where you could get soldiers

as a direct example

to do exactly what they’re told in a positive

sense on a secret level

where they know

they shouldn’t tell anybody because they know


that they’re doing something good but not everybody

would get it

and a level of

secret that’s actually important and then

flip the game

where it could be something very negative

do you ever feel

frustrated that when you talk

about any of

these weird subjects you get

labeled as like a nut you get

labeled as like a loose

thinker or wacko

cause if you

start talking

about like tower 7 what happened with tower 7

you’re a loon man you get

boxed into this category of conspiracy theorist

which automatically

makes it very easy to dismiss you but i also

think that as a comedian

i think it’s our job to not give a shit what

other people

think and say stuff that

other people don’t feel the freedom to say

whether or not we get rid of fuel

left at or with

is almost immaterial

and i think

we owe it to ourselves as comedians

specifically as the

philosophy that goes with comedy

to cut angles as you’d say in

jiu jitsu to go instead of taking a

force directly on let me look at it from this

angle this angle this

angle and this angle

whereas other people only have

they’ll only look at the

tiger by its teeth and its nose

and know that it’s

scary and know that they don’t wanna fuck

with it i think one thing that comics or any public

speaker that

has an interesting point of view does

is they offer a different path

for the person to start thinking right then

other people

will listen to you and say you know what this

house parks guy is making a lot of fucking sense

you know like

maybe i’m not 100

agreeing with him but i

see that this guy has really thought this out

and maybe i

should consider his ideas and

maybe it’s not even about this

maybe you’re not looking at 9 11 you can give

a rat’s ass whether it was fake or real whether it was

staged or an actual attack

and it has no real bearing on your life personally

but you might come

in touch with

a situation in your own social circle or in your job

where you’re like

this sounds like bullshit

to me and you

might be more apt

to look a little deeper and at the sides of it than you

would have beforehand

if you just get used to the idea

toe the line you know

i hear the official

story 9 11 i’m for it

i hear the official story

pearl harbor i’m for it

i hear the official

story of how

jesus was born

lived and died i’m for it and

then you come up

against something

that doesn’t fit

right and you willing

to step back

and look at it objectively and say this

doesn’t jive with my consciousness exactly you have the

skill built

through critical

thinking to look at

again you could

you could do all the thinking

about building

seven you can do all the

thinking about

you know whether or not they wanted the

tsa situation set up and all that kind of bullshit

um beforehand or like

you know it

like the like

that conservatives

groups had this you know

bilderberg idea that they’re

gonna craft

human consciousness and put lithium in the

water and all that

alex joan shit

you can believe that

stuff you can

explore it without

going there and staying there

in the same way that you can sort of arguably take dmt

and not stay

in that brain stem

yeah you could you can get

trapped into that the

world is conspiracy you can get

trapped right

and it’s not necessary the

whole point is

be aware yeah be

aware and don’t just buy the

straight line you know like one of my wikileaks yeah

that’s right i said it

you know i fucking conversation go on forever

i know but it’s over i know it’s

crazy let’s end it now

yeah two hours and 40 minutes and

we’re just starting

three hours itunes

crashes it does well spits out podcasts you stream

you verbose

cunts yeah has you stream

still on there you streams

it can only do

three hours

yeah really

awesome really

it can play

forever but we’ve done that a few times

props to house barks

thank you very

much sir for coming on the conversation brother awesome

absolutely awesome

good intelligent conversation with mr

house barks you can

catch how on twitter

house barks

that’s his twitter name

and his website is at

houseparks com

houseparks com

and his band is zero the letter zero

dash one and

where’s your band playing next

we’re i think we’re at the brixton

in february

the brixton

where’s that hermosa beach oh

powerful hermosa

beach yeah and then the

magic club in the

house love that place

right and then i

think we’re doing

like shout out

to mike lacy

whiskey or key club

in february as well

it’s the whiskey

there’s lots of bitches

we’re going to san francisco

to tear and bad dads

san francisco

okay cool and they

could find all this

stuff on your website

yeah yeah we’ll be posting dates in like the next

month because we’re booking them all now nice nice and

ladies and gentlemen if you

haven’t seen the video that

brian made from austin

it is his piece

deres estas it is his

it’s fucking brilliant it’s the perfect length

it leaves you wanting more i told him it

should be longer but he’s right

because really it just

leaves you just so

so good i watched it five

times in a row man yeah it’s fucking amazing i love

watching his best editing ever and it’s

great and it’s important you know that girl

deb who was like i hate that song that australian

she lost her dog man her

dog disappeared but she

found it oh she

found it yeah

so it was on twitter debotif

awesome so everybody say

congrats to devo keef

right on deb

ok good on you he

sounds like a g

fair dig em’ deb

o’keefe is a

radio dj and austin she’s very cool and

sad that she loves her dog and sad

that she lost her dog for a bit but she got it back it

doesn’t matter bitches

props to the

flashlight thank you very much for

sponsoring our podcast

and again i get behind it it’s a tool i have

used it i use it on a regular basis it’s awesome for

shooting loads

it’s way better

than just masturbating you can go to joeroganet and

click the link and you get 15

off when you

enter in rogan it’s

customer code

i’m just here to help you beat off bitches

i’m for it february fourth uh

mandalay bay theatre

joe diaz ari

shafir and me full

death squad

perhaps brian redband will make it appearance you

think you’re up for

going on stage in

front of two thousand fucking people

yeah in vegas ok

panic searching

i’m gonna get him

super super

super high and then

force him on

stage and i got

too high last

night on stage you

going on stage

you’re high

and i’ll get her

underwear he’ll have a boner on

stage yeah i don’t want that dude

we’re having the

ufc podcast tomorrow oh

yeah yeah i’m saturday saturday

tell them what’s the

how they find it okay just twitter

redband all

right 20am so

while the fights are

going on listen listen this fucking package

while the fights are

going on red band

sam tripoli

and joey fucking diaz are

gonna be doing commentary on the fight

so you can watch

alongside joey’s

gonna they’re

gonna be smoking pot and just talking shit

about the fights as it goes down

this shit is

gonna be epic i i would

i’m looking forward to that

night after the

fights are over

going back to my

hotel room and

watching this

before i get up in the morning i’ve added

a lot more people to it too

it’s just going to be a

crazy amount of people

ari shafir is coming

daniel stewart i

think is coming

whether vixen is coming oh my

god how do you have enough

microphones for everybody i don’t you gotta

pass them around

yeah it’s gonna be more of a that is such a

great idea being original when i quit working for the

ufc that’s what i’m

gonna do yeah we’re gonna have

ufc parties

and we’re gonna

do it that way

fuck that’s

gonna be fun

i can’t wait to see that

anyway february 4th

mandalay bay theater

joe diaz ari

shafir and me

tickets are

going fast i’m very

excited this is

going to be a fucking killer show

we used to do the

house of blues but we had a problem with them

not wanting

everybody to be seated

and i need everybody to be seated that’s

standing shit

at comedy club

at bars it’s

just too much of a pain in the ass for you too

i don’t want you to stand

i went to one of my friend i went to doug stanhope show

in la and it

changed my mind on

standing it’s

annoying man yeah

you get your

feet hurt your back hurts your fucking neck is

cracking so it’s not an

enjoyable show

and it leads to people talking and it’s not the

right environment

so we decided to move to

mandalay bay theater props to

the house of blues i

still love you bitches but i

gotta move on

i gotta move on this weekend

ufc pay per view buy it you whores

and as usual i love all of you

and we will see you next week next week did you get in

touch with eliza

no i haven’t

hopefully a response

a twitter her

attack eliza slashinger and tell her

bitch on she doesn’t even follow

me i tried to send her a private message but she

doesn’t follow me

yeah we talked about flush it

it’s always

sad when someone you like doesn’t follow you

house parks follows me that’s all it’s important you

dirty dirty bitches

all right that’s it the show’s over love you

see you next week bye big kisses

and this one for you

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