we love you long time
the first time you heard that jam
you almost lost you fucking damn
how did Eazy E die of aging out those guys
the Joe Rogan Experience
oh
oh
kicking it live
damn these mics are hot as fuck
kicking it live from the Rogan compound with my man Ari
Shafir Ari motherfucker
shafir is in the house ladies and gentlemen A R S H A
F F I R Follow him on Twitter
Joe Diaz Mad Flavor
aka Planet Rock aka Joey Karate
he’s here as well
Brian Rikkel
Brian Redband redbam
whose song is it
what’s going on now
it’s background
music did you make that song Brian no it’s my laptop
yeah we did
we used to put in between
garageband and guitars yeah we haven’t been playing
music I’m trying to clean it up for satellite radio
which may or may not ever happen
hopefully it will looks like it’s happening
whatever bitches um
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buddy there is in the corner just that’s one of them
they’re all over the place this one over here too
this house is littered
the Mrs Rogan comes in there the
other day and
looks at all of them she goes is there enough of these
is what she looks at them she goes these
that’s how she looks at them like
this is like
her competition that she has to accept
like little
things that live in her
house that I fuck
this house is full
of baby dolls and male dildos yeah what’s up
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big fat box of dick toys
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so I’m looking
out for you bitches you know I’m saying I’m
trying to get you some discounts on your masturbation
holla at me Joe Diaz
you say you
gotta do what you gotta do
if you can save 10 points
and whack off at the same time who’s better than you
haha we had a good goddamn time last weekend in
Vegas holy shit was that fun yeah
woo that was a good fucking time
these guys dropped acid they were up in the
they were up for the stands
watching with big fucking
smiles in the face I don’t know when I
found out that they dropped acid
did I find out
dinner I tweeted you during the UFC
yeah but I don’t get tweets
I mean I mean
text texted me you texted me yeah so that’s how I
found out I was
yeah no it was like the last half hour
right you look you look I
never waved at us
okay then I must have
known you know we’re sitting in the drawer
Ari came over one day we’re talking
about something awesome I go it’s
gonna be great this weekend
and as I’m talking to him I open up a
joint I go Ari look
and there were
7 hits of acid
if we drop the acid
he’s like oh I don’t know and I go
every time somebody
you know gets hit we’ll feel it yeah
so then we were like well what do you think
about Red Band and well
we don’t know
maybe we’re saying
we should fucking do some
yeah maybe we gotta put on some popcorn just
take them for the ride
and then we
said nah because I know it’s hard to have 911 fuck it
that’s my little brother
acid’s a little different you don’t want to dose
somebody with acid no
I’ve made a decision just not
to do it anymore in my life because I’ve gotten to a
point where my
brain I just want to keep my
brain a little bit together
now put it together
stay safe stay safe
about this stuff
this stuff is very mild
that was I’m sure
that was kid
stuff that was
kiddies yeah well if you took 2 hits and you were
still being able to sit there then it had to be she
very mild very mild
it came in spurts and
burst it was very nice
the lights fucked with you
what’s his name
voice fucked with you from time to time
buffer buffer
he really vibrated
is vibrated you
and that video before the
UFC starts oh
that was powerful
there was a part
where Ari looked
over and goes this is the most beautiful
thing I’ve ever seen
the best was
you do a good job
on that thing
what was it
the UFC video when it first
starts was like
they sent it to the who
american teenage hero
teenage wait wait
bob o’reilly’s
in the song yeah
and yeah they set all the beat like all the
punches to the you know
drum hits yeah
you realize how brilliant
something is sometimes when you’re high what is it
about that why
do you why do you have to get high to to realize that
I don’t know it seems
silly when you’re sitting there and you’re straight
at a UFC and it
starts it was
like a zooph
and all that shit
you feel it yeah
we did the acid it was a different fucking
level we felt
everything isn’t that
funny how like
you go to movies
and if you go to the
movies and you’re on acid or on pot or in anything
see bad acting yeah
like that’s why we
watch Domino
that night huh
that’s why we sat there and
watch Domino with fucking
Mickey Rourke and
Tara Nightling
and it was interesting yeah
it was interesting it was from a different
angle you’re
watching acting you
so I’m sorry I
interrupted you so what were you saying you were saying
you guys are
there you’re on acid and then the Bob o’reilly
starts playing
which is if you’ve
never seen it
never been to a live
UFC it’s really brilliant whoever edited it
it’s like some of the highlights of some of the
greatest fights ever
and it’s all put together to the who
it’s fucking it’s one of the
greatest videos
humans have ever seen it’s a perfect volume
to rip you apart like
you can hear it but it
doesn’t really bother you
Dana and I go with it
Dana and I were
watching that the
other day and I go dude I
think I’ve seen this a fucking
thousand times and I
still like I
never yeah I
never stopped
watching it
love it if you’re there live 10 minutes before the
UFC actually
starts you have to be in your seat
it’s so good
to like whoever did it you can tell that guy loves
fights like he just he nailed it
the perfect
beats to the perfect fucking
punches and kicks and
gets you pumped up
definitely man
dude I’m telling you it
never wears out I’ve seen it
hundreds of times
I don’t know how many times I’ve seen it
I’ve seen it I mean
every UFC start I’ve done at
least a hundred
Ufcs and you’re there you’re not yeah gone
getting food when that’s happening yeah because between
spikes between
spike nights and regular Ufcs I
think I’ve done over a hundred so been over a thousand
fights well here’s the best when you’re there
and you’re tripping
like I said
when you there as a civilian
and listen it just goes from Bob o’reilly
and it locks down
and also you get
also you just see a
picture and this is Silver saying
when I go in that
thing tonight
I’m gonna knock his fucking
mouth off that’s a
right now yes think
about it on the ass
now his head just came out
and I think it was vito’s
and it was just a fucking head
I thought it was fucking
Marlon Brando
is Superman
then when he got
yes when he had the fucking heads around them it was
you’re going down to New York City cocksucker
and they were judging them and it was just heads
well that’s the brilliance about it
that at one point in the UFC as a civilian
it just gets very dark
it was just a perfect timing
also you see a head pop on go tonight
I’m gonna take them pound them submission you’re
yeah you just go nuts and they keep showing
little tidbits you know then they showed a vet or
then they went to John Jones then they went to
Jake Ellensburg it was just
so well done every time I show a new item
production crowd explode yeah
and it’s and when you watch another
sporting event now it’s so
below that par I went to a Lake A game
last year against Dick
against Wade wade’s team the Heat
Miami yeah it was a fucking great game
but there was a lot of lows in it
there’s a lot of lows at the
UFC when Bruce Buffer says
Do what you got to do
go for 22 fucking minutes I like you have a blast
I like you go get a hot dog
right we are you go get fucking thing
we are now go go now hurry up before the fucking game
starts that’s huge that they tell you
yeah that’s courtesy
and what that is
folks for the folks that don’t
know sometimes we have a certain amount of prelim cards
but then the the main card
starts at say like
you know 7 p m
and if the main card
starts at 7 p m
we have to have if the prelims are all done
sometimes we got 20 minutes for the
fights are supposed to
start so we don’t
start fights
early we have to wait
until pay per view
starts yeah
sometimes you get like 5/1 round
knockouts in the early
fights yeah and they’re just like
yeah and then
yeah we run out
quick and it was
weird because this
particular UFC
started off I
think with Gabe Ruecker
and whoever he fought
and Paul Taylor
and Paul he
got beat up fast
and then Kingsley came out
against Romero
and hit him with violent
Gladiator fucking
these to the body
like fucking Bam
to feel the thrust
and again as a
civilian you can feel the fucking kidney strikes
I can’t have the acid I was I’ve been
defining myself like this and also I looked around
and I just myself
what’s going on
check yourself before you
wreck yourself plus
cause you’re watching
Kingsbury even when you’re not high that dude’s a
specimen oh my God specimen
shredded he’s got like a fucking
solid 12 pack
he’s got a 12 pack on his back
he’s one of
those dudes like you look at his back there’s all these
crazy striations in there he was a
super athlete
yeah those fucking
football players
man they’re on another
level to another
level of athleticism
and Kingsbury
smash that dude
he’s one of
those guys every time you see him it’s like he’s been
training for 3 years
you know he makes
these leaps in a couple of
months and I look
like yeah all those
super athletes man the John Jones
stunt dudes
those guys they make these
giant leaps you
know there’s some dudes that just get so good so quick
you know when you
watch like John
Jones the first
fight that he had
you know or even the
fight with Stephan
Bonner yeah he looked
promising you know
but Bonner made it to the distance you know
I mean he beat Bonner up and
everything like that and did some wild stuff
but you know
people like wow this kid’s wild he’s unorthodox
but then you see him now and you go fuck man this kid
is on another level
dude another the way he handled Branned
Vera and you
know I mean his last
fight was just proved it Brian
bader’s a fucking stud and he just manhandled that kid
he was on top of them
every time there
was an exchange he was on top controlling the position
he was never remotely threatened and
squeezing yeah that kid’s a
beast man Ryan
Bader is a fucking gorilla
dude you just
stand next to that guy he’s one of the biggest
205ers out there
and the fact that John
Jones was able to handle him like that
there was like 1/2
second where there was like a scrum like he
tried to flip
and didn’t get him all the way over and then
John Jones got out of that and it was done
yeah and John
Jones has 2 brothers
and both of them are fucking football player bad
motherfuckers
yeah he’s like his
whole family’s got like
super jeans
you know I was
standing there that
night he had 2 brothers that are bigger than I
guess he’s the he has a baby brother whatever
in the 1975
NBA playoffs one of
those years
Daryl Dawkins
member Daryl Dawkins he was 6ft he used to
smash the backboards
right you know he was 6'11
290 I remember
that into a bra with Maurice Lucas
and also they showed
his family coming down from the
stands and he had 2 brothers and a
sister bigger than him
oh my God they
were from fucking Florida you know you
with those motherfuckers oh my God they were just
throwing security at Portland
they’re all nice
white people up there in Portland
these 4 fucking fucking people were just rolling them
just wow huge
6ft 11 that
would love this
price was smashing
fiberglass yeah
yeah unheard of remember
you know I’m saying hang on them just crush them
they were glass
weren’t they were they were
breaking fucking
reinforced yeah
that guy was
fresh out of the jungles of fuck what the
hell what did they do back then
what when the
glass breaks do they stop the game
stop the game
they just roll it out they roll another one get
the fuck out yeah
fine yeah you got fine how much did you get fined
I don’t know maybe 10
grand this time that’s so worth it
that’s how we Know
About you’re a highlight film
but luckily they don’t all do that that
would be so douchey
if they all did it
what type of douchey
was way you can do it by
accident game you
go back we just come up like Shaq
would just smash through it he
wouldn’t be able
to this time you can really try to
break it to shack
smack him occasionally
yeah but not on purpose
he just fucking
it’s fine what’s
so hard down
I’m looking into it okay
he hasn’t done in a
while though when his
first couple
years me dude
I met him a couple of times when I
first met him with the
UFC and I met him
he did an episode of Fear Factor with me
and he did the
countdown you know like shit 3 2
one go you know
standing next to me dude it looked like
it didn’t even
look like I mean look like we were 2 totally different
things you met him in Boston we ran
into him at the
hotel oh yeah that’s true
he’s giant he’s
so big man he’s so big it’s
ridiculous I feel like I like a little child
you know well this dude Daryl Dawkins
played for the Sixes and he got traded to the Nets
and when he
moved to New Jersey got hooked on fucking powder
did he really the
kid that would sell him the powder
was the sneaker kid
he was the ball kid on the Nets at that time
and this kid ran a
tremendous scam
because the players on contract
they take after
every game they put on new
sneakers and they
throw them away
really this kid
would take every
sneaker and take it into the city and sell it
but one of his
jobs as a ball boy was to get Daryl Dawkins powder
that was it
Brian whatever you did
and we all met and I remember one
night he took us at Daryl Dawkins house
Daryl Dawkins
showed me a fucking Rolls Royce
with a 14 motherfucking carrot
dash boy know what
a gold dashboard
that is so financially responsible you have no
fucking idea in those days
his wife died
later on he came back before a couple years there
I went over to his house like 3 times he
lived in the City
Caucus New Jersey
big pimping
with the motherfucking 14 carat
dashboard shit wow
that’s ridiculous
that is ridiculous though you gotta love it though
what is it about
black people and
shiny things I don’t they don’t give a fuck
don’t live in a tent to have a fucking Rolls Royce
with a 14 as
much as a star
as much as rock stars like to
rock it and like to look badass they don’t go that deep
they don’t go diamonds I
heard a theory on that
it’s that black people rappers and
stuff they’re just doing what they thought
about was rich when they were little
so it’s always them holding like a bowl of like
sugar cereal
and cars and hot
booty women
yeah but it’s like oh no this looks like rich stuff
for she was got a
urinal installed in his
house nothing
wrong with that that’s probably a good move
especially one of
those splashless
splash is there
no say in there save
water they have
like a little disc little UFO you piss on
somehow another go somewhere
you don’t have to
just rinse your
water yeah that’s like the the latest eco thing
but it’s been
rejected by
plumbers plumbers don’t like it because it cuts
back on the maintenance so they try to say unsanitary
but in actuality the
other ones are more unsanitary
how weird is that yeah
there’s been studies Joe Diaz
studies on piss
let’s talk about urine
let me tell you something when I was a kid in the first
house I moved into
North Bergen
a nice big one
we had a fucking bidet
really you really yeah that’s banging
shit wow that was about
hand 9 or 10
I used to go over there take a shit in my
mother’s bathroom turn the
bandana hit you in the fucking face you know I’m saying
yeah but then you put your little
muffler on that bidet
you get that little hot
water going that was the
first time I have that that little
cranky a little
muffler but then you
blasted hard
your asshole spotless you can feel it shiny
I was about 10
that’s what my asshole used to shine
I use my bidet
for carrying magazines
you don’t use it though you
never wash you have one
yeah I would use that shit
every day so much
better than wetting toilet
paper and getting
seems so bizarre I am so seems un American Dixie
into the French
what am I doing here
thick they got supporting my own
what am I doing here
what a roll of goddamn toilet
papers not enough for you Rogan
yeah I feel like I’m not supporting my own not only
some French bullshit
but day is nice right
yeah washer
a lot of a commitment
when you wipe your butt it’s like so
slow yeah I know it’s
still stinky and
gross but I don’t mind
wiping my butt
how much of a committee
that had some
fucking soap in that
motherfucker I use baby wipes have
you ever been
about my butt
what have you ever been
about the fuck and realize my ass
stinks right
ladies and gentlemen the power went out
so the last half of this podcast is
audio only just from the power of the MP3 recorder
we were apparently talking
about shit too dangerous for the government
so they shut my whole motherfucking block down
you know what man it’s just
a reality of living life as a rebel
what that’s what it is the government
every now and then will come down and shut you down
and that’s what they’ve done
about that rebelling or some drunk driver hit a
power line or
somebody you know was fucking their washing machine
exploded anything could happen but the point is
powers out feels like Egypt up in here yeah
no Internet up in here we ain’t got no Internet
it’s pretty it’s pretty weird actually
but we’re gonna keep going
don’t don’t give up hope Joe Diaz
Joey Diaz is falling asleep get up Joe Diaz
get up cocksucker
speaking of fucking on a washing machine did you hear
about that Chelsea
Handler tape no yeah
what happens it was a sex tape that we heard
about a long time ago
yeah she talked about it in the air
which is hilarious she goes they offered her $1,000,000
if she gave them $1,000,000 they
would give her the tape back
and she said I’m not worth it
which is hilarious I like that
she good for her so the tape got released
yeah but it had already been released to like
comedy clubs by Chelsea have you seen it though
no I never saw yeah she like gave it out
right like it was like
comedy comedy comedy fucking
bitch go crazy yeah
let’s watch it crazy I mean let’s draw it is
he said he asked in Montreal
I’m not good
at this some club
owner talking
was like I got this tape once and it was
crazy it was
this comedian and then they were just having sex
the manager’s like who was it and the guy’s
like I won’t tell you he goes can I have one guess
yeah one guess of
every female comedian
ever yeah fine I’ll tell you if you get that he goes
Chelsea Handler he goes
you son of a
bitch how did you know that
just cause she’s so
freaky send it out
she’s crazy I love it
it’s hilarious
it’s hilarious they’re trying to blackmail
her with it what a
weird society we have now where
everybody just wants to go run and tell
everybody wants to run and tell
you know and everybody wants to hear
about it to everybody wants to listen
like all these
chicks that fuck Charlie Sheen
not one of those hookers was down
now one of them can keep her fucking
mouth shut all of them ran to TMZ
like right away
all of them
they showed up in a suitcase full of blow
yeah they tell us
why they act
like victims
they win bunch of
crime stopping
these bitches yeah
crime stopping bitches you know in the old days
you give them
2 000 they shut
their fucking
mouth they’d take it in the ass like a soldier
nobody you know what I’m saying
they take a load to the face don’t it’s all Merta
this little dumb blonde was on there saying
that some guy showed up with a suitcase and a blow
and Charlie Shea was fucking
that’s how you get
people arrested stupid
what are you doing
doesn’t Charlie your friend I will
never invite that
bitch to a party
I will never
bitch around me ever again ever
but bro that’s what you get when you hang out with
those fucking filthy hookers then
you get what you reap
what you sow you know what I’m saying
well it’s a
weird society too
where any one of
those girls if she plays her cards
right can become famous
you know they have like a
brief window like all
those girls that fucked
Tiger Woods
that one girl
the one girl that was on Celebrity Rehab
Rachel who should
tell who should
tag he fucking
he always fuck the name of it a
weird way are
you Dick Swanson
you could tell you
should tell whatever it was whatever her name was
the woman got on a goddamn
television show for fucking a guy
I mean she literally did she’s on Celebrity Rehab
well once you get on one of
those shows all you have to do is
start going to red carpet
things make yourself be
photographed and seen and you become a little celebrity
Monica Lewinsky fucked up
she just wanted a
clothing line
yeah well she’s also just a mess too
I mean whatever
that’s just the
worst situation
ever it’s not
just fucking a guy you suck the president’s dick
okay if you fuck
Tiger Woods and you’re that
famous if you fucked the president
or sucked his dick or lives to get
a cigar and
your pussy oh
super famous yeah the
part of what she was
famous for is the fact that she was ugly and fat oh
yeah sad that’s
right it was sad
you know her looking face yeah I mean and
it was just
weird nobody
could believe that he really did it
you know we’d
never had a fucking
freak president like that before
I mean Kennedy was a freak
but Kennedy was like a
freak with a tie on
you know he wasn’t
whipping his
dick out in meetings he probably was yes he was me
there’s just no fucking face
I think he was
smarter now the way he handled himself I
think he was
smarter than that
Clinton has a long
standing reputation
for pulling his dick out
he got barely in the
road though
just pull it
out the president
got the the Poly
Shore moves
yeah got in the
green room if you’re at the back there with Poly
Shore expect his dick out but JFK
never know right
JFK got the hottest
chick possible
in Hollywood he got the fucking Megan Fox
but that’s warm
but I think at that
point in time
JFK was like he was a way smoother
you know I mean he was like
way more like socially conscious everyone knew about
that’s a weird
sort of everyone knew but no one talked
about Birthday Miss
he couldn’t prove it
back then nobody talked and you couldn’t
prove shit he was bad to the bone
how he did it when you go to michele’s in Hollywood
and when you eat downstairs
if you look up you go to the men’s
bathroom up there is a little cave in there that’s
where he used to take it
really up this little cave
right there
where you lock
the doors like a VIP
give everybody fucking 500
you just sign
no way you sign nothing just looking in the eye
cause nobody knows
about this you
understand you
wanna go up there
that’s it back then you
could do that if you were
a star you could go
places and they
would have girls waiting for you I’m
sure Jack Nicholson
there’s a reason why
those guys can never be
married they’re like what are you talking
about I can make
one phone call
right now and they give
me the fucking password to the back room and I’m in
I don’t even know that girl’s name
yeah we just fucked and
these girls just come in on buses from Kansas
just waiting
to fuck movie stars
you know and that’s probably what they did fuck Kennedy
fucked all of them
nobody could say anything and even if they did nobody
would believe you anyway
I mean look
they got away with
shooting Kennedy
get away with fucking war
you know what I mean
they fucking got away
with killing him man you know they blamed it on one guy
and then the
one guy gets shot conveniently by a mobster
who we were recently talking to that
said that they were working on some kind of
thing that had
something to do with the Kennedy assassination
and he was like
the one thing that
I now believe in different is that single bullet theory
there’s more
to it remember we were just talking to somebody
about that yeah
I don’t remember who it was he was talking
about how the
angles they misrepresented the
angles and the angles of
going in and coming out of the body are possible
that’s all well and good but it’s
completely unscientific
the way they came up with this theory
the way they come up with this theory is
cause they had to account for
3 bullets right
and 3 bullets had to have done all that damage
but then a guy
under the underpass got hit with a ricochet
and they had a hole in the curb
stone where it hit
and then he
got hit with it and he had to go to the hospital
and he was fine he lived
but because of the fact that he got hit with this
ricochet they knew that there was another bullet
so that bullet
definitely didn’t hit
there was 3 shots
and there’s all
these wounds so how do you account for all
these wounds
well you say there’s more than one person
shooting you dumb fuck
you don’t try to make one bullet do all this
wacky shit when a
bunch of people have said that they
heard bullets
and heard gunshots
from several
different locations including over and over again the
grassy knoll
and then when you find out all
these people that witnessed it
all these people died in like
weird fucking accidents and fucking
car accidents and fires and parking
their car and
train tracks and shit like that
like the amount of people that
died that were witness to the Kennedy assassinations
fucking crazy
it’s like really
weird and then you look at how this Jack Ruby guy
runs in and
shoots Lee Harvey Oswald
while the cops are handing them there
I mean the whole
thing was preposterous
it looks so set up and so fake
and the to blame this one guy
and to say that he did it
this one bullet a single bullet is so
silly because
if you look at that bullet it’s barely dented
that bullet
had to go through bone and to people’s bodies
and if you’ve ever shot a bullet into something man you
could hit a
phone book with a bullet it gets fucked up
it compresses it looks
jagged wasn’t there pieces
found though yes more
pieces were
found in connolly’s body
then we’re missing from this bullet
right it’s preposterous so all this fucking single
bullet theory
why don’t they just go has there anyone to say what
about that though nobody
would there has been yeah
you know people will
just fucking Ra
it’s called
there’s this
what is it called
confirmation bias is what it’s called
is when you have an idea in your
head and you know I’ve been accused of it many times
it’s a fascinating
thing where you have an idea in your head you
want that idea to be correct and so you only look at
information that confirms that that
that you talked
about that because the philosophers they
would have that idea
and they would say okay
here’s why it’s true
yeah we’re not sure but they
wouldn’t have
I don’t know what’s true let’s just look at the facts
right it’s very
tricky man it’s very
tricky when you get into people’s
beliefs and what you believe and what you don’t believe
there’s a lot
of people that don’t want to believe certain
things and then
the Kennedy assassination is one of them
the idea that
the government actually killed the sitting president
that freaks people out too much are you making
phone calls
mother what’s the
other side though
what’s the other side of them
what’s the other side though
what are they saying by the side
they believe that he
you know even though he wasn’t
known as a good shot and even though he you know
the whole thing is really no for the
single bullet
alone like what did they say
about the other pieces
found in it not matching up I don’t know I haven’t even
heard the who’s the day at this point they probably
dispute the evidence there’s a
bunch of different people man there’s 2 camps oh
there’s like is there someone in charge to like
release this
information like no one’s hiding this information or
who are they asking for well there are
there are definitely hidden papers
yeah but those
papers are set
to be released to like 2025 or something fucking
there’s no one
in charge of that there’s no they’re not like they’re
gonna get someone to admit it
no it’s true and at this
point in time it gets it gets to the
point where is anybody that was you know
live then yeah
4 years ago 50 years ago
our inspector
still alive though
he was part of the Warren
Commission report the people that were on the Warren
Commission report see the reason why I got into this
is the very conspiracy that got me into conspiracies
I read a book called Best Evidence by
David Lipton
and I was in Philadelphia and I was working Andy scar
patty’s Comedy Cabarets
and you know
these fucking
gigs you’d go on the road and you do a Friday and
Saturday and Saturday morning you have nothing to do
and I was by myself I
didn’t know the
other comics I didn’t hang out with them
so I got a book and
a buddy of mine
gave me this book and I read it and I fucking
freaked out
I freaked out to the
point where I wasn’t
funny that night
I didn’t have a good set
you know I had to come back
strong on Sunday I had to put the book down
and on Sunday I
wouldn’t read the book I
wouldn’t read
it all day and I just like went to the gym or something
because I knew I
would get bummed out because I had a bad set Saturday
night because this book
it’s a fucking creepy book man
this guy David Lipton was an accountant
and he went deep into
the Kennedy assassinations he went deep into the Warren
commission’s report
and he read
every volume
and nobody ever
expected anybody to do that
and he was an accountant so he was like very meticulous
about details
and he noticed
all these inconsistencies and all
these irregularities and all
these times
where contradicted itself it’s over and over
again it’s like this is a nonsense report
and he started
looking deep into the Kennedy
assassination because of that and then he
found so many different things
he just it’s a long ass fucking
thing to get into
but the bottom line is
I don’t know
what the fuck happened that’s the reality I don’t know
maybe Lee Harvey Oswald did act
alone but I know a lot of people want to
think that he did and I don’t know why they want to
think that you know what I mean
I don’t know and you don’t know either
but you want to believe you’re
absolutely 100
right to the actor
alone there’s a lot
of employees and employee families at the BP company
yeah the ones that killed Kennedy
they would if they could
people like BP if you don’t
think that in the midst of this gigantic oil
spill if there was one guy that knew something that
could get them fucked
if there was one guy
that was gonna go public and knew something and he was
gonna cost them billions and billions of dollars
what do you think they would do to that guy
Joey
Joey ate a pop cookie
and he hit the
vaporizer when the
power went out so did Joey
he needed the electricity in the air
you stopped bro
weird it’s a fucking guy
you’re so high
you’re so high you don’t even know what talking
about BP isn’t
I’m talking
about do you think that what I mean
you know when you look at a
giant corporation like that don’t you assume that they
would do something to try to protect themselves
when they’re assuming that budget
they assume that shit’s gonna happen they just roll
right over it
their job primarily to corporation is to get
what they could
every day even with fines
that’s not what I’m saying I’m saying do you think oh
do you think that they
would kill somebody that had some information
oh fuck yeah fuck yeah yeah of course
make their life
listen corporate
world is worse than any
world you’ve seen before
because it’s the real country
side of life well we talked
about it on this podcast it’s a fucking very creepy
story but it does
bring again just because this subject
Monsanto that
food corporation that’s always suing farmers
the ones that make the genetically modified food
it’s believed that they bought
black water
the mercenary
group yeah yeah
they bought it through some
3rd party company
they can’t confirm or deny but they know that they were
looking at it and they were looking and talks to and
Blackwater was purchased and so
there’s a lot of people that believe that
Blackwater a
mercenary group
was purchased
by the most ruthless corporation in the world
like they have
their own army
wrap your head around that
wrap your head around that because what
black water does in
other countries
I mean when you hear about
the shit that they did the
mercenaries did in Iraq I mean
it’s like there’s no rules
it’s like the
first episode of The Cape
yeah it’s like they can get away
with shit too and they can’t get arrested for things
when they come but
they’re not subject
to our rules
it’s very weird but not subject to
their rules either
no rules nobody’s rules we
bring them back
and they don’t get in
trouble we don’t prosecute them for anything
I mean I’m sure some of you getting
started getting in
trouble the
whole business is insane you know
when I was a kid and you know you hear about like
the Vietnam War like
you know people talk
about how much
money is involved in the Vietnam War
you don’t really realize what they’re talking about
until you see it like with Haliburton
and when you see it like with
mercenaries all this
you see like how much
money you can make
building plans it’s incredible
it’s incredible how much
money there is in that you
think black
water does like
brings out like comedians out there
to just irritate the
troops yeah because that
would be way
better guys
I bet they probably just go with horse
yeah no I am I
heard about this
story about Guy Richie
did you hear about Guy Richie
what did he do guy richie’s
house they fucking squatted his house man
guy ritchie’s house is like he got a £6,000,000
house so I think that’s like 12 million dollars
right on there it’s
yeah it’s pretty crazy
and he has this giant London mansion and
these guys moved into it
and they put signs out hanging from his windows
so it says strike Resist Occupy
and this is a giant mansion
in the middle of London who are they just bums
they’re just fucking kids
so what’s the strike resistance
squatters are weird things man squatters
are right you have to yeah they have certain rights
I don’t get it
do they have rights in America or just
really yeah we’ll take that there because
they’re like possessionists not tensile laws
until we figure out in a court
who’s supposed to be here we can’t kick out
like if I just came to your
front door and said that’s my
house get him out of here like they
wouldn’t do that they’d like well he’s here right now
right so if you want to sue him to get him out of here
right go through the process of the courts
so that’s what these people are trying I don’t know I
think in England
I think in England it’s even more complicated
yeah in England
I mean like if you’re not actually living in the house
I think you
might be fucked
they might be able to just
gank your shit just get it there’s no
what happens
do they just get your shit
it’s pretty
weird man a neighbor who did not want to be
named described the situation as
frustrating
Jake you think so
these people have these
multi multi million dollar
houses if it’s a neighbor if his
house is worth 12 million
she’s got to be in that neighborhood
you guys are
paying that much
money for a fucking
house and then some kids just move in and
throw the batteries
out your windows
that’s pretty
scary you just gangsta
your fucking
house you can’t come back
oh they’re calling it a
school oh this is creepy
school is doing
it they pretend no they’re saying it’s a free school
they’re opening up his
house as a school
can he go oh my God
I need to read this here this is
fucking fascinating that a big sign
they call themselves the Really Free School
they had been
occupying a nearby address
until Sunday
they invaded Mr richie’s property
near london’s West End
which he has
never lived in but has recently had
renovated so he’s just balling he’s just got
houses all over the
place is he
married to Madonna
still yeah he got rid of that
bitch oh you
bitch get the fuck out
here 1966 oh
yes but nothing
what are you gonna do
about the fucking electric situation here in
about an hour it’s gonna
start getting
dark and you up here with the lines of the fucking
about that shit Mr Howard Burton
of course I am fuck you
gonna do you better do something something get dark
you better call the
fucking in down the corner to see how much a room for
20 fucking people
they will come away
yeah you say
you’re scaring me I’m just hitting you with some
about those are
reality here
before you get involved in true
enough like a Puerto Rican we’re talking
about guy Richie
Brown we gotta figure something out here though
isn’t it funny when you do
bring up anytime you bring up any sort of
conspiracy theories it all automatically goes into that
I just tune out
yeah I’m just like I don’t even care
even me describing it I’m like
bored with it
it’s just it’s like no one knows
no one cares and you know
what sometimes I get
stoned when I
catch myself
thinking of
things as conspiracies yeah
like let’s do even that even that
night at the UFC
when when as soon as I
was gonna fight them
I thought to myself fuck I fucked up
and this is
gonna get beat
and now this is a setup
now they’re
gonna take it to Brazil for anderson’s V
door too that’s what I thought before
you believe
crazy shit like yeah I believe
on the acid you can believe but no no I believe it was
sports because I see it happen
I see the weirdest
fucking thing
happening no it
doesn’t that level
doesn’t happen no but a
part of you
thinks about it
that’s the problem
it might have happened a little bit in
Japan there were some works in
Japan really yeah Coleman
might have been involved in a work
if you guys were in works allegedly
these guys like Takada
takada was a pro
wrestler in
Japan he had a few questionable wins
where people
looked his wins are like this guy just seems like
he’s bullshitting like something feels like acting here
you know he a few few
he got away with
a few of them but that’s it I’ve
never I don’t see any
fights that I
think are fights
where people set
things up no no
no I don’t mean
it like that the US you don’t ever take it
I wasn’t saying
it like that I’m just saying you’re just saying you’re
God no no no
speaking of being high I talk to you about some
this acupunctures for 4 years
right and I really like it
today I went in there she cut me
for me you know she cut me cut when they cut me and
she came back in from the cup and she’s like you know
you were coming here for 4 years
because you were smoking a lot of fucking refill lately
each cup was filled to the fucking brim it
sucked it on my what
spell smoke out whoa no no
like I get these cups you know
so it’s pretty funny like I was sitting for they
leave marks on you yeah can I see a Mark yeah
for like a day just so
you’ll see it’s like a silver dollar size thing
one way over here
back more and stuff
it was pretty funny how
I was sitting there for me
thinking of fire this bitch
it was like
telling me I can’t
smoke so she was
like she’s telling not to no no she goes I think you
smoke a little
bit too much because it filled up the cups like
but filled it up with what fill
up with like the
smoke that’s in your skin
what smoke came
out of your skin
smoke came out of your skin
for a little
while get the fuck out
of here fuck yeah
fuck yeah that’s not the
first time we’ve discussed it
that would be enough
we need to bring in Mythbusters on this
this motherfucker doesn’t believe that
there’s a conspiracy in the Kennedy assassination
I was thinking
about this in 1987
in 1987 I got convicted I got came out on bail
and part of the program you could jump into is
to prove that the court was wrong you’d go volunteer
peeing a bottle flight
35 hours a week
and after like
3 weeks one day the assistant came up to me
let me tell
you something we don’t know what he was smoking
but that motherfucker
that’s why I
used to go to New York and get you all the time we
this is a pure fucking Indica
made by Jamaicans for Jamaicans
and this lady pulled me aside she goes
I’ve been living in Boulder
for like 11 years
your shit was off the fucking charts
and you figure I
haven’t stopped since then
and I’m living in here
living in this town
where at 8 30 in the
morning I can go to a weed shop and the guy says good
morning with a
bagel and a bun
wow and you know
people don’t even realize different it is how open
it is so I think Dr Amy
would you know I love Dr
Amy I wasn’t mad that she just goes Joey
when you know
cause you’ve
been coming here for 4 years
it’s only been like
twice that it’s leaked out of your fucking skin
one time when I went down a
Monday after a long weekend
and today’s doing
area on the podcast
get her take
off oh my God
and I trust
her because
there’s a lot of times I’ve got in there
without me saying
what I’m feeling she’s gone to that spot healed it
I said what’s that needle for she was I
could just feel something coming from your
shoulder or knee or
you’re thinking
too much is this doctor one of your cats no
it’s feet down now
come here come daddy scratch me
well why is
she telling you that you do too much because the
smokes coming out of you
I’m telling
I’m so sold on the
vaporizer now
it’s all I’ve been into lately
it’s pretty good in your
throat that’s a great one
yeah and I don’t feel bad just getting my leg of
it you don’t feel bad you don’t cough
you don’t feel shitty
it’s pure THC with none of the health detractions
like now when I
smoke it I can feel
I’m taking something in my
lungs I shouldn’t be taking in my body I mean it’s fine
it does doesn’t hurt you
but it feels unhealthy well this is what I just read up
about it because I was trying to make sure I got the
right settings for my
vaporizer right
and they were like
certain things combusted a certain
so if you just if you said it’s like a hundred degrees
it won’t get the
T issue out of there right
like I said
whatever they said like 260 and 360
right and so that’s when THC combusts but at
3 like 80 or 400
all the carcinogens combust
and that’s when you’re getting bad shit into your lungs
yeah that makes
sense that makes
sense so it’s
completely free that but you get all the juice
they say there will
still be some that comes out at that lower
level depending on how high you go
but yeah you just get the
stuff you want
out of it yeah that’s the off at all I just blow it out
so fucking you know what there’s a clarity to the high
it’s a different kind of high
especially if you go I went
3 today usually I go to
today I went 3
3 what 3 heads
of that yeah
you get it’s a
clear high even though you’re
super high you’re pretty fucking functional
yeah it’s nice it’s a nice one
yeah I think it’s just way better I
don’t like getting too high and that seems like when we
pass just smoking
those joints it’s like a little
fuck off too
much fuck all
these you know
20 years you were supposed
to join now you follow his fucking thing relax
and you’re another fucking momo with the clarity
that’s fucking Tac
we smoke dope the fuck up the clarity of fucking
fucking fucking Johnny over
shut the fuck up oh yes
dirty fucking this
this is the iPhone the pipes to suck more fucking homo
white gets it to believe this shit
the fuck out of here they got his yelling Jack
look I can Twitter like a motherfucker don’t even
motherfuckers with your iPhones to put it over
you can all suck like dicks motherfucker
don’t be lying on that shit
okay we get
a Twitter can you make calls from up here fuck you
the fuck out of shit he finally not since yeah
Jesus Christ
you better pull the fucking power department
don’t worry about the fucking vaporizer that vaporizing
your life fucking casualty
I got oh no no no no no
that’s why I report the lasted
fell out the front of the fucking
yesterday when I went to my ID
fell out like confetti out of my wallet
me and the fucking ATF department looked at it
what it look like
I’m not have a little piece of acid in my wallet
what is just a square
as I take the airport at the airport a little
piece of paper falls out like confetti on
they know what that was they didn’t fucking know
those fucking momos if they ever fucking took a last
they wouldn’t be checking IDS
loosen the fuck up
tremendous tremendous
just fell down I said I don’t want that
shit it was big as
did it have any graphics on it or is it
a little pink for yeah so
perforations and a think so
will be identical as a drugs
they pick it up
like Mighty Mouse oh my God
right right somebody dropped a piece of paper you know
who gives it nobody’s gonna put that on her tongue
I’ve had enough
that’s hilarious
I’m gonna get some strong stuff it’s hard to get acid
these days I don’t think so they’ve got
a dispensary
you should get a Bible Joe you gotta take
a look of acid
although I bet if you went to a dispensary
you go to the same one all the time
yes they know you
yes I bet if you ask them hey we’re gonna get some acid
I’m not gonna ask them that
would be rude I got a guy but I want to ask them
where to get something illegal
I got a guy in Boulder
but I just didn’t want to buy
30 fucking hits
of liquid fucking ass I’ll make a call like a couple of
those you know
that liquid acid to have around that’s explosive
that’s explosive
because I can hook
10 people up at one of
those UFC will just be
blinking up there
in the Puerto Rican sex and
throwing sidekicks with Jesus
son John Jones got that title fight when you told him
cause I already knew but when you told him
did you know
the day before
that he was gonna get the title if he won
right yeah so I was like I
could see a comment I’m telling you but I
could see a client
let it go who told you he was gonna
I did yeah yeah
don’t tell anybody
but it’s done now but like
but like so I could see what you’re about to tell him
yeah and then he was like
hey we just
heard or shot Evans pulled out you know so we need
could have been
if Ryan Bader won he would have could have been
spectacular but yeah he could have got the title
they needed someone to do it
and Rampage didn’t want to do it because he was
scheduled to fight Tiago Silva and he was heavy
it was like 250
you know I didn’t want to
take 6 weeks and just lose 45
pounds in 6 weeks you know he did that for the Rashad
fight and it fucked him up yeah
you know Rampage almost should be a heavyweight man
I’ll throw this footage up on
your YouTube or something like that I’ve been filming
using this camera
pretty great camera man
Sony sent this to me it’s a Sony bloggy
touch and it’s
pretty inexpensive it’s like the flip cam
but the best part
about it besides the flip cam
is how great the low quality is can you
check that out
like most cameras
would be pretty shitty
right now does it look like that online on YouTube
yeah it looks
great on YouTube
it has the XMR
lens in it which has really good low light
I’m recording with it
right now yeah you record it
and what’s really
great it’s really
good for people that don’t know anything
about internet
are computers and technology
cause it’s set up so nice
where you could just put it on there
set it up and just go alright
Facebook YouTube
it just uploads it to all
these different
places right
when you plug it in oh really yeah and it’s it’s just
super easy to use
they’re gonna have
these new models coming out pretty soon
but I’ve been playing with it for like the last
3 weeks and it was pretty fucking awesome you
ready to report on it
yeah yeah I’m writing a little
what’s really cool dude when you are
focusing on your face it
it makes a square on your face yeah it has face
detection it has face
detection and that adjusts the contrast and also
adjusts the
sharpness something
like that it’s got really good
face detection too
now I wish it did have a light
because some zoom
check out the
digital zoom which
I never recommend fucking with the digital zoom just
watch when you
focus on someone’s face oh yeah it
puts a square on you
yeah how trippy is that
yeah I wish it did have a
flash but the low
light is so good in it that most
situation so we’ll wrap
your head around how
bizarre that is
that you can
point that thing at someone
and all of a
sudden you’re making a
video there pal yeah
you’re the worst cameraman ever
where’s the zoom I’m trying to see the
zoom on the
screen the touchscreen
and you could
forward and back it
but yeah it’s pretty
good it’s pretty inexpensive it comes at different
models they also have like
these really cool attachments
I don’t know if it’s for this one or one coming soon
where you could do a
3D room where
it videotapes like a 360
thing and then
it plays it out in this
weird like panoramic 360
screen it’s
crazy it’s trippy
I talk about the future
no it’s out
right now it’s on sony’s website but I
think that’s just an attachment to
these little bloggy cameras
it’s the fucking future man that’s pretty dope
and eventually that
technology is
gonna make it to your
phone yeah your
phone’s video well
I mean it’s pretty
close right now it’s pretty easy
they actually have been compared to the iPhone
video I know they don’t
no it’s hard to tell
which way you’re
focusing but not in
comparison to the iPhone
video the iPhone does have a
flash which is very key
but the low
light was so good on this that the
picture was way better on most instances
comparing it
even though the iPhone is good
it has this
weird wobble to it
where it’s not really the most
stable video if you really look at the quality
this is way more
professional
that’s the life of the iPhone wow
right now yeah
right now if I
would have the iPhone
right now and the
flash does over contrast
over its face and make everyone look like a zombie
yeah makes you look weird yeah
a little setting for that flash yeah
there’s no battery
you can take out of it though science
but the battery is really good
it lasts about 2
hours of straight video
around there
hmm and that’s that
hey Brian how
about the farts that I was blowing
on the fucking balcony and
how good were
those oh there’s
acid mixed with fucking garlic
yeah good ski
you know what’s
funny is like 10 of
those garlic cloves
speaking of farts a fan in
Vegas came up to me
and was just like
hey Red Band
big fan blah blah and
I brought you a present
and he puts it in my hand it was a pack of
those old glass
fart things that you
throw on the ground
that you crush and
break and it
smells like
stink bombs
what the fuck are you kidding me these
what do you mean what the fuck
exactly the guy I think
would like them
I couldn’t think of
anyone more than
like that than
you you take that
to the comedy
store and throw it at Polly
Shore holy shit
why don’t you keep it next to the fart
spray that you also have right now
oh god oh yeah
I would just
throw it at people
like Pauly Shore
especially like in a contained
place where people
start puking
and the place is so
long you should
let Pauly show it’s
hysterical people
start bar for this shit the best is an elevator
because it’s
crap yeah it’s only
10 people you
gotta smash
Exodus you know I’m saying
you wanna if you’re
gonna throw one of
those things at somebody you wanna
it’s gonna be
like over trade
senate type
shit you know I’m saying
you gotta go for the maximum
bang I can’t remember
the last time I was around some of the tropical
stink bomb yeah it’s great
a couple of times in high
school fucking horrible
yeah it’s pretty bad it is fucking horrible
I wonder if the scientist
who made that stink bomb
thing if he likes the
smell of it like he’s the only one that likes the
smell that’s what I
think about
sometimes is that somebody
went to Michigan
Engineering
went through school and
studied so that he
could invent
the fucking
stink bottle
or it could have been just an accident
or it could be just a
simple Saudi yeah so there’s a sulfur
mixed with vinegar no
when I was a fucking kid this guy
had these apartment
buildings and wanted to get people out of there
so you could towards the fucking buildings
so we used to go like a Walmart by that sent a
skunk that’s
worse than a fucking dead
sent of skunk you can buy from Walmart like yeah for
like hunting dropped
oh you could oh
they can’t figure it out
you know the
thing about
skunks it’s
they say that the way we
smell skunk
is exactly the same way
dogs can smell us
it is horrible
no not that it’s horrible that we
can see you
see you know a
skunk can get killed like 2
blocks away and you can
smell it like why is that the
mild the worst fart
ever doesn’t
travel that far what the fuck is it
about skunks that really register in your nose
well it’s parts per million it’s
how strong the
scent is in parts per million
skunk is a very very high number
well for a dog
that’s like how they can
smell people
so what’s a
skunk for a dog
wouldn’t it blow
his mind probably freaking
it’s probably so how do they feel and
see it I bet a dog sees it well they
just try to
try to describe
I mean that’s the analogy
so we can wrap our heads around
how a dog could
smell so much better than us
because that’s really the only time that it makes
sense to us
because the
skunk is a weird
thing it’s like it’s so much
stronger than any
other smell
you know it’s one little animal
just a small amount of liquid you
smell on the freeway you
smell it for like a full
minute I love it now it
smells like weed yeah
you better call psng bitch
it’s get dark in the fucking hill do a live
speaker phone update I wonder how far away this is
this is traveling
I will blackout
yeah you’re gonna have to call it fucking
could and you have all
these fucking people that got sick
the at the halfway point
now how many fucking people were there that got 600
7000 70 people got sick of the mansion
no it was between there and another
place the 8 of both places
health off officials
probe reports of mass illness
at a Playboy Mansion event what do you
think happened there
are some bad shitty food
they also said well they also said that the grotto
there might have been some kind
of fungus in
the grotto so if you went into that grotto to have
champagne with John lovett’s that
you might have
got some kind of bacteria infection too maybe
they’re looking it was pneumonia people got pneumonia
oh really yeah
you guys guys I’ve been there
2 or 3 times at a time like this
thing yeah and it’s a fucking man of power
that I am like a feel the fucking A
speed to a Milo
all 3 times I run out of there because I wouldn’t
touch a fucking silver in there
that’s dirty
is filthy fucking people
fucking herpes
and blondes that are confused from Kentucky
that’s a fucking
apocalypse of fucking bacteria that fucking
and sperm and fucking old cunt
James Con came in there
fucking Arabs
mix all that come together with Arab juice
and fucking a couple of yams you got a
bunch of shit dog
can you imagine what’s that’s like and then
can you fucking imagine
I wouldn’t even walk barefoot in there
I’d rather roll in eddie’s fucking gym
than fucking walk around in there how much
would it cost
to lick the comforter of one of the beds inside the
table man you’re
crazy that place is fucking gross dog
that place is
people been
sucking in fucking this is 1960 in a Mexican mops that
place at night
that all that
place is as bad as a fucking peep show in New York City
where people
whack off on the
floor when you’re walking around there
because people have been
whacking off on that disgusting fucking placement
40 45 bucks
it’s amazing this is the
first time that a
bunch of people yeah
because it’s just
it’s just too much mixing it’s like this new super
people are getting staph infections
now that unheard of 10 years ago
you know people
they’re fighting they can’t even the back
they’re antibiotics they’re
applying to people
shit’s not even working
this shit’s getting stronger
so you want to
go out there and eat this foreign ass that you’ve been
and you fucking got
brown shit leaking out of your eyeballs on Tuesday
don’t come coming to me bitch
because I told you so you don’t want to fight
you don’t want
to do none of that shit no more dog it’s a
whole different type of fuck out there Japanese
people walking around with fucking masks and shit
dog it’s filthy out there
let me tell you something
it’s just you might
so listen to what this
thing is this is where it gets real
weird okay it’s a party at the mansion
who was the party for was it some rockstar had a party
was Playboy did Playboy had a party no
700 people from 30
countries attended the Santa Monica Conference
of Internet Businesses so they rent that place yeah
that is not
twice a year that place is the Playboy
700 people for they call it Domain Fest Global
it’s internet businesses
it’s just a
bunch of anime people like we’re at the mansion came
to leave it and they all got sick as fuck
and they were from all over the
place good go back home that’s where every
place meets everybody’s front
adventure very bacteria
those people that wear sandals
everything to me
the dirtiest
skank fuck the filthiest
guy and just came together crazy
that shit grows there
it really becomes like ground 0 and it’s spreads by
28 days later shit
the next spot is that
strip club in Vegas
that’s the next spot people
going there
at 5 in the morning to know people scratching and shit
it’s like the fucking blog
Dustin Hoffman
has to come into your fucking room at the
hotel with a fucking
whole mask on and shit
that’s what’s the
name of that place
the Slippery Cabaret was in
Vegas in Vegas the big one
you’re thinking of the
story that’s how fucking that’s how
that’s how that shit’s gonna spread
the same way it started with a pilot in New York City
but it’s Hefner experimenting with
everlasting life yeah right
he’s on his way out
it’s fucking
nasty did you
hear that they’ve confirmed they believe they’ve
named this new fucking planet
they’ve named a new planet
they’re calling it
Taichi T Y C H E
it’s called Bob
it’s called Pluto
they’re convinced that it’s pretty real now
and it’s 4 times the size of Jupiter
and it’s the furthest one out yeah it’s
the biggest
plant it’s the biggest planet by far same rotation
yeah it’s well they
think it’s sort of like an elliptical
rotation but it’s way out there it’s way out there
15 000 times further from the Sun and the Earth
another fucking planet
Joey is going so
you can only see
when we stepped away when the
power went out and I stepped away to make a phone call
to see what’s going on when
I came back and sat down I looked at him
and he was asleep
that wasn’t asleep that the power going out
was like fucking this is Silver kicking fucking feet on
just you just killed me you gotta just
show on stage with no power oblivion yeah
there’s giant flashlights from the back of them
not my my eye idiot at my chest
this is great Joey question how
much earlier did you eat your pot
cookie than I did because I’m kind of getting nervous
those cookies are too strong
just strong enough
yeah that might be one really strong Listerine
strip I just
now I’m gonna be fucking shit myself on the one on one
2 minutes ago you and Jack her with the vaporizer
that you wrote the fucking
Emperor wears no clothes Joey
you are old school he gets offended if you
use some new device
listen listen
cocksucker I’m all
about joints and bowls yeah
all of a sudden it’s like this new thing
it’s like guys
chee Chen Chan is
alive and kicking and they’ve been smoking for 40 years
leave me alone
leave me the fuck alone I get it I get
it wants to be super weed guy
throw that shit out
throw the high times out I’m old school
I didn’t have but when people I was I didn’t
show your picture I
get the fuck out of my face I’m walking over the bridge
it’s like my mom’s I can learn HTML that’s the
we smoke in the fucking car
nothing like your mom
and we all adjust they done he’s done yeah
who the fuck needs to learn HTML
what’s like
difficult yeah
what’s that should allow
it’s the how you’d construct websites the underlying
you’re not gonna change
it’s super easy it’s so easy it’s so easy
the design a website was trade HTML certain
things you can go through a
thing like how
I do this and it shows you boom boom yeah
for f yes it’s
super easy to
learn it’ll take you like
3 days yeah
I learned it yeah I bet you’ve put together websites
by yourself
from scratch
I used to have to do that whole
time that’s how you do that
class yeah well in that class no
I used to do a pornstar
website when I was like
I don’t know
twenty four
twenty five you
porn stars back in your
24 yeah who you
fuck pussycat Gallery
shit what’s her name I can’t figure
her name was not
Pussycat Gallery
that’s what her website was called
pussycat Gallery she was something cats Michelle cats
she was a Jew
no cats like meow cats
like with a suit
a real name KTZ
katie’s real name
cats that’s a
weird stripper that’s
don’t say that
no but it she used to have a nice butt but
you know that was like
it was crazy
it was crazy she
would always fly out to LA like
every week and I was always like
what why don’t
you just live there but now I get it you know
just go out there
a couple days makes a couple thousand
come back yeah
live in Ohio she was
prostituting
properly that’s what
she was doing she was making a lot of
videos and now
one video yeah
I checked her on free ones and I think
she’s not doing it anymore yeah
so how’d you meet this broad
I worked at a
movie theater
and it’s her sister
this girl that I know is
sister that work with me
so you were trying to bust a move
no I was just that’s what I used to do for a living
so you were making it for us I was making websites
for a living
I had a website
company back in the day so you
weren’t hanging out with her you just made her website
well yeah I hung out with her too but I didn’t
do anything
for 24 year old
regular kids
she did give me free porn though of hers which was
did you contemplate
like trying to
figure out if you
could hook her
I was her up
yeah I was there
yeah you know what’s
crazy is that I
never thought
about that then
after that whole
thing is I dated a stripper
and you met her
one time we went to a club
and she was working do you remember that
yes yes you had a
girlfriend with you and the girl your ex
girlfriend was a stripper yeah
and she was
stripping when we yeah
yeah well you were like
laughing about it that girl because we talked
about breaking
penises a couple
she has to go
I think she broke my
penis because
we had crazy sex and
there was like a baseball bubble
on the side of my like swollen up
like the size of a baseball on the side of my nose
and we’re not
that as jealous
to her Jack
no and they said that
I went to the doctor
a baseball sized bubble was about
the size of a Jack
glands imploding yeah
he said that I
pinched something or just did something like it’s from
crazy sex and
it was crazy sex
but I thought maybe
maybe I could have
sprained it not
broke my dick but
maybe sprained my dick well if it swole
up it’s probably some
fluid in there yeah it was it
fucking was huge and it
would last like 2 weeks
it was horrible
dude you’ve always had a weird life
even when you’re
young dog that
for breaking
what if we found
you like start choppers of wood things get
the fireplace out it’s fucking hilarious
all right we’re gonna just shut this fucking thing off
Joe GS won’t stop it
he needs to go home and take a nap I get oh no
don’t worry about it
we could talk about we’re gonna start here
if you’re in Los Angeles we’re gonna
start doing it once a week at sal’s Comedy Bowl yeah
and we’re gonna have Wacky Wednesday at sal’s Comedy
Hall starting every Wednesday
3rd is it 23rd sailor
such a retarded New Year yeah it is retarded
that’s why it’s perfect right
what is the fucking you right on
top
to the ground
you got to know what to walk away from the podcast
so every Wednesday we’re gonna be at
South we call it
wacky Wednesdays most Wednesday
start its most
Wednesday yeah this be some weeks it’s just not
gonna happen there’s still be some solid people
yeah there’s always gonna be some solid people there
it’s look South comedy holes very small
if you’re in LA
mean it’s a very unique place
it’s maybe 80 people
I mean that’s
about as much as it
gets and he’s expanding the back area and it’s gonna be
he’ll have like I don’t know what exactly he’s
gonna do I think I
have 2 rooms in the back
which doesn’t make any
sense to me I
think it should be one big way hey
dream or once
more the slight
difference in the
movement 240 and 280
like do like 80
what is the improv
seat like 2
09:10 to twenty two twenty
so if the improv
I mean that’s
a good size club that’s like the perfect size club
you know that’s the same size as
this place if he’s
gonna have 2 of
those rooms if it’s one room
but one of them is one
50 and the other one is
smaller right yeah 70
I think they were even closer than that
where it’s like
why don’t you really make them different yeah well
we’ll talk to him
maybe hopefully
he’ll listen to us and make it one big room
but the front room is kind of cool
where it is
right now it’s really intimate
and it’s a pole
they needed yeah
there’s a pole
yeah Doug Benzo
is fixated on it
he was barbecued
and he got off
stage he goes
sal’s Comedy Pole
we’re gonna call
sal’s Comedy
Pole and then like you think
about what you’re
gonna say when you’re
about to go on stage
and he’s hit me with the
sal’s Comedy Pole
I was really
stoned the other
night that night and I was
thinking what if they put cameras
on one side of the pole that filmed what you would see
and then have it like
on the other side of
the LCD screen like on the pole
you know what I mean
so like but
it detects from what
angle though or something
how cool would that be
that would be cool million dollar
cameras that
sells totally
down feeding
the perfect
place called a whole 80
seat intimate little Hollywood club when
the owner gets your beer himself the guy who owns the
place is cool as fuck
he’s a great guy and he’ll hook you up
and it’s starting next Wednesday next
Wednesday February
23rd and we have one special
guest I can’t talk
about and Doug
benson’s already signed on
yeah and you know it’s gonna be
basically whoever’s in town you know joey’s in town
of tripley’s in town
whoever’s in town
you know and we’re
gonna just fuck around and and
have a good time there
and it’s a good vibe
it’s a real good vibe right
sal’s a good guy are they
gonna price it
cheap what are they
gonna do with
price yeah I
think it’s like 10 or 15
or something like that and it’s
RSVP right now it’s
sales and just
websites people
fuck around
10 seems plenty for that and it’s a good yeah 10 is
plenty and it’s a good
place to to
write material
and that’s what a lot of people are
gonna be doing there
you know it’s a good workout to be
a gym stuffed
right in the dark
he doesn’t let it go
go get your
shine box not for nothing
get your shine box
this weekend
bray Improvs almost sold out Saturday
night is totally
sold out just a few tickets available Friday
and a few tickets available on Sunday
by the time
you read this it’ll probably be too late and
the more theater in Seattle
it’s on Joe Rogan
net what it would it the exact date is
but that’s almost sold out as well
the more theater is
not on my fucking
song website twitter page it’s missing for my Twitter
page more years yeah
you fuck but have sold out
either way it’s half sold out you
could get it on Joe Rogan net and
so and if you’re if you’re hungry for podcast
brian’s got a whole network of podcasts he’s doing now
he’s going it’s what is the website
death Squad TV
death Squad TV and he’s doing Sam tripoli’s podcast
are sophia’s gonna start a podcast
Tom Sagar and
his wife to a podcast notice I just say his wife yeah
and it’s it’s a cool
thing because it’s
you know all of us
Joey does Beauty and the Beast
with Felicia Michaels and that’s
a hilarious podcast as well you can get that on iTunes
and then of course as our friends like Bill Burr and
Eddie Ift and Jim Jeffries have one called Talking Shit
you know this podcast thing is
where it’s at man
it’s free for us it’s easy to put together
you know we don’t have to deal with a
bunch of producers or
idiots and it’s
just a bunch of our friends
hanging out having a good time
we had Holly
the girl from the hills
right and she
came here came to the interview with a wine inside a
water bottle
wow and she was like
she’s like I just
drink from when I wake up tonight but I do
I maintain it I
never get too high
and I just fucking have like this complete buzz
and it’s an
interesting
interesting
interview listen it’s Lil
ester’s Pie
little Esters
Pie cast but
when she left
she goes can I get some for the road and
I was like sure and so I just
filled up her
water bottle with more wine
and that’s just like
white wine or
white wine and I
always thought like
The Hills was
completely fake
but like after she talked
about like her and her
sister don’t talk anymore
cause I guess they got in a
fight on the show the Hills but
it seems like there’s
some real shit to it like she won’t even talk to her
we brought up the plastic surgery too
because she’s
broke her nose 5 times
and she was talking
about like she hates her nose
playing basketball
and I was like well I’m like don’t ever
you know don’t ever
touch your nose don’t ever get her surgery
and she goes
trust me I know you know and
she didn’t want to go too much into it
pretty interesting
when you think
about it your sister
you know has
transformed
right in front
of you to a different
person and she’s one of the most famous
plastic surgery
freak shows
oh that girl I see pictures
and you know I’m talking yeah yeah and this is
Holly we had
Holly on so they’re both fucked up you
know who did off
heidi’s plastic surgery who
Dr Dave or whatever the guy that died off
with his dog
really off a Malibu
really yeah and
it’s crazy man so she talked
about all this on the
he fell off a fucking side of a road yeah
yeah what did he do
they don’t know they
think he swerved
something was on the road and they swerved something
probably like a deer or something like that or
I don’t know
yeah they found that they
found the definitely
found he wasn’t
tweeting he wasn’t
no and he was like
my Twitter page he was
he was right that
my Twitter page you was
no I mean that’s what I
said a lot of people said that that
yeah I mean it was exactly
what people want to believe there are some hills in
California where you’re just like oh
I’m 3in away from just
dying dude I went over the 101
all the way to San Francisco you ever
do that the PCH I’ve done the PCH all the way up yeah
oh yeah and you want to look at the beautiful scenery
I mean oh God
scary as fuck there’s no
guardrail I mean there’s a
guardrail and then over to the left
is death yeah
is 1,000ft of
death and it’s beautiful you keep looking at it dude
and it’s great car commercials come from yeah
well you remember
where I was living in
Colorado up that mountain
that was a tricky fucking road too
yeah you want to look at that that’s a
cliff to the
right of that road was nothing
it’s dirt road
and to the right is death
your house was like that
scene in the cartoons
where the mule is just
going blind
and just suddenly turning it over the guys
drunk and just turning barely not falling over the
cliff it’s like the
scene in Dracula
when they go to get Gary Oldman
and when they went to get him
they went up to the fucking castle
that’s what it was like up there you better we
gotta get out of
here what’s wrong
speaking of Dracula
and we’re sponsored by
yeah we’re sponsored by Flashlight
go to Joeroganet
enter in the code name Rogan
when you click the link and it’ll give you 15 off
thank you to Joe Diaz who is mad flavor on Twitter
Ari Shafir re
Shaffir on Twitter
redband is Brian Redband and you know me bitch so
we’ll see you guys tomorrow we have one with
Pete Johansson
and I’m excited about that he’s hilarious
that’s assuming there’s
power on here cocksucker this place might be overrun by
vampires and fucking zombies by then Joe Rugby
wow was the power
income back in this game
dog mother Paula
at your boy we love you bitches we’ll see you next week