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the jog mog experience
ladies and gentlemen
live on a live on a plane productions presents
the second edition of
podcast on a plane
i’m here with
my man the one and only mr ari shafir
we are on a plane
coming back from sydney australia
to la it’s gonna take us 12 hours in space yeah
it’s a fun trip
we had a great fucking time
yeah it was awesome sitting pretty badass
we put on impromptu show last night that was the
highlight of
the trip that was kind of fun yeah that was
a trip after if no one was there
after we did it we
did two shows like an hour outside of sydney
and then they had the
ufc you see
ended like five
so we like let’s just do another show yeah
why not yeah
and we were we did this show in rudy hill
which is like
about an hour outside of sydney
and there was
um you know
it’s like quite a hall
there’s a lot
of people i’m sure that didn’t want to make that trip
you know we didn’t have the opportunity to do like
a place in sydney itself
so to do that on
you know on
sunday night it was pretty badass is good
after the fights
it was fun and we’re both in the same spot
where it’s like i’m too
tired why do we do why
do we do this yeah
worn out yeah
that’s like oh yeah
stand up we like
that yeah and then when we got there you know the
everybody was really cool was a fun
crowd it was it was enthusiastic and everybody
realized that this is kind of
crazy thing that we all
we were all a part of some
crazy thing we all pulled together
in a couple of
hours this is twelve
hours yeah i called jules at nine a m yeah
and we had a show at eight yeah
it’s 11 hours
later it’s pretty
crazy yeah and we did it all through twitter
just all i did yeah
so i know i put it on my message
board too um
but twitter is
where it’s at
it’s a good
crazy little text on
somebody like that not
still a comedy club up in a few
hours you get there
dark night they never
they never open on sunday
you know the fact that you
can do that like it’s so cool that you can just fucking
reach out to people like that you know
dana white is
really into that he uses that a lot with the usc
with tickets i’ve always thought of
going down into his little
he’s a scavenger hunt
you know how does he do that like if anyone can find me
i’m in somewhere in century city and then
they’ll be like i’m at the old navy and whoever
first find it like two free tickets
yeah wow it makes it very easy to stock him
super easy to stop there
is it might
the easiest
stocking target ever
well that’s funny
yeah well it’s fucking
it’s an amazing social networking tool
you know that you can actually do that it’s
there’s never been a time in history where
you know a guy like you
are an independent canadian
can you know put together a twitter list of
you know twenty
thirty thousand people and out of that in any
given city there’s gonna be a couple hundred
say hey i’m doing a show
you know and
two hundred people from austin
show about your show
it’s really that simple it’s an amazing
way of connecting
with people yeah you told me that last week at brea
you were like
couldn’t figure out
what chris rock what
movie that was from
that he was in that he
asked yeah that’s right
they’ll tell you immediately
they’ll tell you
yeah it was we were asking
about there was a chris rock bit
that he used to do in his act that he did in a
movie we couldn’t figure out what movie was
was he wanted
to do to his bargaining let me get one rib
yeah yeah and
we so we put it on twitter and
seconds later
it’s amazing yeah like
twelve right answers and someone else was
wrong and fourteen more
right answers
crazy people just
happy to help out
you know and just that’s all i have to do is
throw it out there man
this is never been a time like this
you know every
other comedian
every other
generation needed
radio stations tv
stations and all that
stuff still helps
but it’s never been like this
where you can just do it all on your own somebody nick
was tell me once it was like they’re
gonna move the big day on
movies from friday to saturday
in terms of like
industry like what it means to
their overall like how much i’m
gonna get because they said
the social networking everyone gets so fast
i’m sorry they’re gonna
forget saturday and make it all friday
because people get the word so fast
it’s like in real time
people are saying it and the word is getting out so
immediately
sucks yeah people will know
immediately
and saturday
will be dead
that’s an interesting
thing isn’t it
because i mean how many times like back in the day
before there was like internet reviews
did you go see some shitty
movie you just
got unlucky that nobody told you it sucked
yeah no one
who else saw it nobody
their brothers are
it’s amazing when you look at
movies just
just from a few decades ago it’s amazing how much
social evolution you see
how much the
movies of twenty
thirty years ago
they’re so bad like so many of them are so awful
that you say there’s no way
people could not have realized it was this
awful back then
but here’s the deal
they didn’t they didn’t because
things weren’t
it wasn’t the same
standard of judgment that that you
think we all
got smarter
more interesting and
therefore that was interesting back then but now we
can all relate to
that it was too simple
movies are much more sophisticated now
we demand much more
we demand like once you hit like a
movie like apocalypse now
you can’t ever go back to
those 1950s
stupid war movies
where it looked like they were on the set and
those fake palm trees and shit the acting sucked
i had to stay on the
stage as long
everybody’s
acting was corny as fuck it was
never realistic you know
i saw rainman
there and that’s one of the
movies oscar
thing did you watch
it i watched it like a year ago for the
first time it’s horrible it’s terrible
yeah it’s like it’s such an over the top character yeah
i’ve got no ties to anyone
yeah clearly that guy let’s set it up in the
first five minutes i know right
it’s terrible yeah
but it seemed awesome back then
i’m sure back then that movie was a badass movie
you know something’s happened
people have evolved
there’s only a few movies that really hold up
where you can watch them
you know a few blockbusters from the 80s especially not
where you can watch them and go yeah this is
still a pretty badass movie but for the most part
don’t watch star wars
no if you want
if you want to
still love your childhood don’t watch star wars
again will be betrayed so sad
everybody was like why did star wars
three and four why they suck so bad
because the first one suck too yeah
it just didn’t suck back then
suck back then
back then it was awesome dude i saw star wars 13 times
when i was a kid
really dude i was a huge star wars fan
i want to see it over and over and over
again i would go with my friends was the
first movie that i didn’t even heard of
where people would talk
about how many times he has seen it
would have like competitions do you see
star wars ten times
i saw it thirteen times wow
i wouldn’t stop
going oh my
god i don’t remember last time i seen a movie
twice the video
is ridiculous
it’s but it’s
childish behavior
it’s something that my
daughter would do do
you love it
every time yeah
it’s only getting
tired of it
but there’s something to it
where you just for some
weird reason you just want to
watch it over and over and over again
so spastic retarded
sort of a thing
i said i was
gonna do that with inception but then i never did
with inception really
so i gotta watch it
again but then it’s like
i didn’t that
movie was too much for me
there was too much going on
i thought it was a really interesting
movie as really
they took a lot of chances and there’s a lot of unique
thoughts in it
and that the way they set up the environment
where the sky
could fold over itself and backed up
brilliant it was brilliant brilliant stuff
but it was too much of it i was like
okay this is like a
dream like cause this is like working like a
video game every time you point and
shoot the people go down like that’s dumb to me
like this is
i know i’m supposed to
accept that this is a
dream it’s hard with that
dream within a
dream stuff yeah
where you’re like
what does that mean
come on yeah
you lose my
level that and time travel
always like yeah so
what happened there and you go back and forth
you know what
freaks me out man the idea of of
being able to
transport something through the air
you know cause they’re talking
about like that star trek type shit
numbered transporters
one of those
things needs to
beam people up the flow
yeah they’re talking
about that being a real possibility someday
i mean i think they’ve done it with like
quantum objects i
think they’ve done it with with
you know with
almost immeasurably
small things
but i think they were really
thinking that one day you’re
gonna be able to
transport matter
from one paid
place to another place
and hope the
power doesn’t go out in the middle right
yeah that was always one episode
of all the star treks with somebody got lost in the
transport yeah
and that was it he was good
know where they were he’s gone yeah
the dimension that’s so
scary dude i’ll see
that what happened in our lifetime
i don’t know man i’m so
stupid i’m way too
stupid to know
yeah you know i
would just be
guessing at the top
of my ass like yes
yeah the fuck knows
i don’t understand what
would it would take to do that
i don’t understand how far they really are
real thing the real question is
once artificial intelligence
starts taking over
that’s the real
thing because then
things are gonna happen so fast there’s
gonna be so much
acceleration
that yeah it
could be within our lifetime
because what artificial intelligence is
gonna be is like
they’re gonna have a computer
that can think
much much faster than a person and can
think for itself
and then once
it does that if you decide to have this computer
make new and better computers
it’s gonna make
newer better computers like instant
they’re gonna just like they’re
gonna instantly
start creating and
figuring out exactly how to do it’s gonna
accelerate way past what we’re capable of
so you know
once that happens
i made this
thing on npr
the only reason i mentioned mpr
i guess this is being
smart but um
but they were talking about
super computers that beat this jeopardy guy
oh yeah and the one
to beat the jeopardy guy
so and then the ones that beat
the chess players back in the
eighties right
blue yeah big blue
so you built this big blue to be this
chess player and at first
i think they
would beat him
the second match
was either a stalemate or what’s the name big blue
but they said that
not even a chess master but a regular good
chess player with a
simple computer can be big blue like every
time wow yeah
just some simple to calculate i don’t know i don’t
understand just enough but
kept it odd
to tell me that
they can be any sort of
professional
chess player
i watched some
chess videos online the
other day yeah
just for a goof i was
i was online and just
flipping through different youtube videos
and i saw this
speed chess video
so i watched
these guys do it yeah it was a
world speed
chess championship
it was pretty badass because
the guy lost
cause he ran out of time
have a total amount of time yeah i
think he had two minutes i
think they have two minutes for the full game
and they’re
sometimes they’re moving
ridiculously fast
it’s so exciting because it’s got
that added element of time to it oh my god
yeah somebody
should put that on television
now i’m telling
you because just yeah because i barely know how to play
chess i know
how the moves go i know
which way they mean
i don’t know
nothing i don’t know so i take
stupid chances i get
checkmate at all
you think about this
yeah okay i’m too add
to be i’m not saying that i’m too add
playing when whenever i think about any game like chess
chest to me is just like pool
i’m scared of it i’m scared of anything that i become
massively addicted to
and i see people that get addicted to chess i would
yeah yeah some
great amazing game
amazing game
an amazing game is completely compelling
any more time for any more compelling shit in my life
no i just don’t
i can’t get hooked on something else between
jiu jitsu and pool and comedy
no i won’t let myself
i don’t let myself
i don’t allow myself to play
video games that’s why i won’t
allow myself to go online video games yes
right ben’s
always trying to get me go online like good good luck
we can play together i’m like
when i buy a game now
when it’s only
story mode yeah
you won’t see me for two weeks yeah
until i beat that game i’m not pretty much
going out i’ve overslept spots
it’s like i fall
asleep like 5 p m
like i mean just all
crazy schedule
when i overslept at 10 45 p m
that is truly a
comics life
right there yeah
you know the fact that you
could do that
do that and know how damage it is but
still like me so
funny is that everybody or do we have like
a certain personality flaw that makes us be addicted to
things like
we don’t have any real responsibility
right i go on
stage for myself and to get better overall right but
i mean if i just don’t
right i’ll be in a little trouble i
guess for for
skipping spots but not really what is it
about the games though that make you so addicted
i mean why it’s
really we’re
in danger of someone coming up with an artificial
reality that’s way more fascinating than regular
thanks for this
you know i mean
could you imagine if they figured out some sort of a
you know you know
remember with the always
thought you’d be able to wear helmets and you’d
about have a virtual
reality helmet
yeah but that
never panned out for some reason yeah
that doesn’t mean it can’t pan out still
they can’t they
might just figure out a way to do it just a year
from now or something like that it’ll all come together
it’s not like the idea was sort of
ahead of the technology
but if they do come up with the
technology that’s
in line with the idea and they come up with
amazingly ladies and gentlemen this podcast on a plane
almost never happened folks
it almost fell apart
because my iphone ran out of room
because i got a bunch of
stupid movies on this thing
you know so i had to unsink
my movie collection
because i like watching movies on my phone so
we were in the middle of doing the podcast and
even though it ran out of room it
still saved the file and uploaded it to itunes and
we were just
shocked at how good that was we looked on the actual
phone and it said
this voice memo zero
seconds like fuck did not save it at all we’re like
maybe plug it in
apple’s really good at that usually yeah
like saving stuff that you just
lou for some reason
plugging your fucking they know we’re idiots yeah i’ve
done that before where i accidentally
like let my
power go out while i was writing something and then
you you go back to it and it’s completely saved
every time yeah it’s
never had nothing yeah it’s amazing it’s there like
would you like to revert like yes
because i remember
like windows ninety five man i remember
when you know when
things just would
just shut down the middle of you working and i was it
was gone forever
no everything you worked on was gone so files
don’t you back up like shut the fuck up
back up and when you have to back up
drives remember that
these fucking
stupid one megabyte zip drives
one megabyte it’s amazing how
can a song one megabyte i know it’s fucking
crazy how like what was
what was big just a little
while ago ain’t shit
you know they have
these little cool ass keychains
that are thirty two gig usb
drives exactly
gigabyte usb
drives little tiny things man
those little little
slide in usb
drives they’re so big now
they like thirty gigs
forty gigs computer that i
still was using nine years ago
was a three and a half gig and
six and a half gigs i
added a six and a half gig to get it
i wonder what the biggest
one if there’s a
64 gig like
slide in usb
drive what is the biggest
offer slide in
yeah those little tiny ones little thumb
drives yeah i don’t
oh i know there must
be something awesome
out there for a brilliant
muscle guy the
thing is you just turn your back for a couple of weeks
and they’re you know
twice as big
no it’s weird
you know it’s like
the amount of
data you can save and a little tiny area now is so huge
thirty two gigs my phone is filled with shit
yeah it shut off yeah
but i mean it’s so
my first my
first computer the hard drive was four gigabytes
four and this is thirty two on a phone
you know well
before you know it’ll be sixty four and i was
one of the sixty four i’m hoping that one five
sixty four i bet it will
they sell movies why
would they mean
this is the reason why we have a problem
because i have all these
movies that i bought and it syncs up to it and takes up
space that doesn’t make
sense for them like financially
you think they
would want to have as much room as they can
yeah another one another one
yeah and have some
it would be nice if you had like a
storage drive too
like a little
removable one
a little 64 gig
removable one
are you selling
it out if you
want yeah why not man
they have that
in those droid
phones we have
removable ones
yeah a lot of them do a lot
of people are past
stuff from phone to
phone yeah and
that’s what people don’t like yeah
so you know what they’re
gonna be able to pass the phone
they do that bump
thing now do contacts just by being close yeah
you can’t do anything real big
i don’t think
you do like a big file yet
but yeah you’re
right that’s just a matter of time
and it’s like people know how to pull
things off the
phone put it on a computer and then just
email it to you
i mean remember when
apple got rid of
floppy drives
yes said we’re just not
was not having them
like what do you do what do you mean like
the technology will
catch up we we
should be done with these now
and then it did
you don’t need them at all anymore you need a cd for a
while and now nothing
floppy drives are so stupid
they look like
they look like something from some nineteen
fifty science fiction
you know old disc
that you stick in and there’s data on the disc
what was it one megabyte
was that what it was
you get the
three think
only like word files
were perfect so what was it if that you get
three really
three gigabyte
three megabytes really it
might have been at the end
three megabytes
maybe early
on it was different but there’s a floppy floppy that
would actually flop around so what was a what was a zip
drive was that like a hundred megabytes done
the early ones
maybe twenty five megabytes
fifty megabytes yeah
some like you get a lot of floppy deaf someone
no one ever
would have thought that you’d be able to have
movies online
just download
movies online
yeah nobody really thought that was pretty
quickly yeah
i just moved up to uverse
and it has made my illegal downloading so much easier
oh yeah hnt
uverse it’s like six
it’s like boom
oh my i’m gonna get so much more stuff now
and you have that makes your
phone line your teeth
no phone no tv i don’t do
that no so you just want at
you verse just
for the i got a tv just so i get a special deal on the
setup so they
could wave installation
and then i immediately call and said i don’t want this
wow yeah so like unhook it
so you got no tv no tv
you’re an animal dude
look at you
basic network channels about you
unconnected to the system our
issue i love
it how come
i’ve wasted so much time on that tv
so i had cable
it was crazy
and people like working just look away but it’s like
i don’t know how to explain addiction to you
yeah it’s like some people are more addicted
than others and i couldn’t look away just like goddamn
video games right
i mean that’s what we were getting into this before the
power went out
but what the hell is it
about games that get you so
addicted yeah
and i’m sure there’s people
who can be like no i’ll just play a couple couple
levels of hopefully
for thirty minutes and back to my family
it’s like i can’t
imagine yeah
you get roped in
it gets crazy like
you’re also you you play a lot of poker too
and you go and you know and you’ll play for
hours and hours
and hours sometimes
down the casino
for ten hours man
i got my headphones and my fucking
just listen to albums wow
that’s crazy
super stone
women never
understand that
they can never
understand my
mrs rogan was um
me and max i believe we’re playing pool
they’re playing pool for like fucking
eight hours and
you know she came downstairs
after eight
hours just like you guys are
still playing
like what the fuck you
guys do man
just like your mama come down with a friend
sleeping over exactly
when you get
into pool we get into get like a game of pool
where it’s like this
really precise control you’re trying to
execute you’re trying to
move these balls around and
perfect or you
literally apply
for sessions yeah
i’ve had many of those
that’s not a bending over and like it doesn’t
matter athlete
son you don’t
understand son
well no not really man
did jiu jitsu and cowbells and all that shit
i mean you get
tired at the end
but it’s like you don’t get sore
you bending over you’re supporting yourself on the
table and never bending over really
where you’re not supporting yourself
you support yourself on your bridge
yeah it’s not that
bad i’m pretty flexible so it
doesn’t bother me
but i doesn’t i don’t even think
about that all i think
about is that i’m trying to get perfect on every ball
i’m trying to figure out
exactly how much how much
force i have to exert on the cue to hit the cue ball
collide into the
object ball
and then go a couple rails off
to get in line
for the next ball and becomes an obsession
do you think you’re better six
hours in than you are
twenty minutes a
hundred percent
hundred percent
wow you better
after jose freak
used to say that he
doesn’t even get warmed up
until eight
hours into a game that he
starts there like that’s when he gets a
second money yeah
that’s when you get some stroke
it really is true man
when you play for a long long stretches
you get loose and
you get connected to the movement
like really connected to the movement of moving
a puke to you
and making a ball collide into
other balls you get
the more you do it the more you tune into the
exact force that’s required
you get really accustomed to the cue
so it’s like one of
those things
where you can’t
just play pool for five minutes i mean you can
but that’s not
where the good pool is
the good pool is five
hours real touch yeah
yeah you get in five
hours in man
you know like my friend justin from the action report
a guy that we play pool
you and i about some fucking
sessions till five
in the morning
two pool players keep
going man i
played with
you for a long time before i
played for like four or five
hours never
brian would go
crazy because he’s hanging
out with us
yeah on the road somewhere in denver show an
early stuff
all night you know it’s like why don’t we go to
let’s go this pool bar
it’s like oh
yeah good night
get mad he played pool a couple times for
those now he hates it he’d like
to play two games then you go on no no
he doesn’t well
brian’s very different
you know which is
gonna be interesting
to see what happens to him as a comedian
what kind of a comedian he’s
gonna turn into
you know because he’s got a lot of
the lot of the regular comedian
attributes neurosis
in attributes yeah
it’s interesting because he’s also done this
thing where one
i mean he’s really just
starting stand up but he
started 10 12 years ago yeah and then stopped
it’s like he’s
still in his
brain a little bit yeah
so like you know if you take a week off you
still like worked it
out a little bit not as much as if you
would go on
stage but a little bit
so he’s gotten that
and he started
again four years ago or so
so we can’t so we
still think and then he’s hanging around it’s like
saying some top top
level comedy
yeah you know
with us and around la
yeah so it’s like he’s got the bar set really high
that’s like
that be more interesting than somebody
random just
started well it’s way better than
starting in a bubble in like
you know columbus ohio
where it started
where there wasn’t really that many good
local comics yeah
yeah he’s in
the biggest
i mean there’s arguably
two places where
the best comedians
congregate it’s new york we’re going
to la that’s it
and he’s in one of those and
which one you
think is better
is arguable
i don’t know they’re both
valid responses
there’s a lot of great
comics in la and there’s a lot of
great comics in new york i mean
i think it’s probably pretty equal
i mean i think
maybe the seller is responsible for
like some of the like really truly
great stories
like of new york come out of there where guys
pop in and do sets and kill and cry
like that’s like the number one
coolest place
in new york yeah
the number one cool pop in spot
like where famous people like
you know chris rock will show up and
you know those kind of guys will show up
and do sets
it’s like they call it like the most honest club
that’s like a real hotbed
for sure yeah
but then so is the improv
you know the improv
and i like people
stopping all the time there’s a lot of good
comics that are always working you see people just
going and not even going up
just stopping in for a little bit get a drink
maybe overall i
might give new york an edge
but there’s why i would give
them i give them both an edge i can
work an edge because
the comics once you
start full stand up comedy
two years in you know something like that
where your comic
right they can get up more
they could do more sense
and and to a degree practice makes perfect
right maybe but
the best of the best of new york
moved to la
well not really lucie kiddin
moved to la no a couple did
a little bit louie and
david tells
who knows where
he is but it’s like bill
burr moves and
you move and it’s like all
these people i
moved before i was good
yeah i was i got
successful then
come over i got way better once i came to la i was
half decent but i was
you know six years in the comedy i was clumsy
yeah when i came to
i mean i started out in eighty eight
and when i came to la it was 94
so it was really
that i did not have that much time in comedy
so that’s one of the reasons why like
the best place
to work out is the place
that you have the most time
that’s the best
place to work out
you need a lot of people but
the new york’s clubs
you can get up a lot
but a lot of people are doing like
seven ten minute sets they’re doing
short sets which is
great i mean
they’re very
entertaining
but i think
when you have a ten minute set
there’s a certain type of comedy that you do yeah you
don’t ramble as much you don’t go into certain like the
real subjects yeah
and there’s some there’s some bits that don’t work
unless there’s a
an understanding of how my
brain works like we’re synced up with the audience
and then once you know
you know you’re gonna have this
sense of how fucked up my thinking is
and i’ll let you in on it
and then when i tell you something else then you’ll
understand why i’m even talking about this in the first
can’t do that in
ten minutes touched on this before he died once
we talk about just like a last time
standing interview
he was saying how this is
on the big on the road
and city company
yeah and it’s like
each one is valid he said and i started thinking
about it like they’re just different
styles stand up almost
like if you would do a full hour for six months yeah
you’re gonna be in a different way than if you’re doing
two fifteen minute sets
every single day
yeah a lot of guys i don’t
think they’re doing fifteen there’s a lot of tens going
on you know
that’s tighter
yeah i think that’s good when you’re
starting to stand up because
you have to learn how to
get a crowd on your side so as many times as possible
learn to get the crowd on your side
but then at some
point you know how to get the crowd on your side
so then it becomes like i need to go over this material
and then the time comes better
and more valuable
i definitely think there’s something
going up in
front of a bunch of different audiences a
bunch of times a day too
you know just re experiencing the opening
over and over and over again which is the hardest part
you set the opening if you lose a
crowd that’s where you’ll lose them almost always
so you’re re experiencing the opening over and over
again instead of just doing one opening and then easing
your way into
good material and then
going on and getting the
crowd and finishing your set
you know when you’re doing
these short sets
it’s like you’re
doing the hardest part over and over and over
and you gotta
think of ways to
cause everyone wants to close
strong so you
gotta keep thinking of ways yeah cramming
how to close wrong
over and over
it’s interesting
crazy art for it man
this but it’s
weird that there’s only like
i guess san francisco’s got a good
reputation too as does austin
those are two
other places
and boston did
at one time but i don’t know if it does anymore
i don’t hear
those are like
clearly like second
level stuff
i don’t hear anything
about boston anymore
you know do you do you ever hear
about guys coming from boston
an occasional guy but it just as much as phoenix or any
other random city you know not like a
scene of people coming out
that’s a crazy
thing to see
i was never like
seattle in portland people they’re
starting to make a presence really yeah
anywhere with his wheat
and seattle
portland is a
ton of weeds
yeah try find a sober comedian up there good luck
i did a show in portland
the tea is here
we like gentlemen
we’re sitting here having tea like gentlemen
what are these two different types of tea
i don’t know
pop it up there
nice i don’t know
what did you
get i didn’t get anything oh you gave me two
one’s peppermint
and one’s english breakfast
peppermint and english breakfast
this is the part of the podcast that sucks
but you get the food
no we’re just talking
about our tea now nobody gives a shit
let me pause is the best thing that
i’ll pause this we’ll be right back yeah
hold on let me say this real quick
fifteen minutes
yeah the best
thing i ever heard
tiger would say is me and when is easy
did a commercial with him
and they instructed us all we had to do is play
tiger woods golf against like ea
sports against tiger woods
right talk some trash
right they told specific rules don’t be dirty
don’t talk about his wife don’t talk
about his dad who just died which we wouldn’t do right
and but they’re like don’t be
dirty and he so he comes in all
right fine whatever he comes in and goes what’s up
bitches ready to do this shit
like who said that to
get dirt it’s just some guys don’t know him at all
but at some point
they offered him like
they offered him like
some tea or whatever he goes no i don’t
drink that or coffee whatever it was his handlers
and then steve’s
like oh me neither i don’t like hot liquids you know
my mouth and
it was because
i got to pop
leave it for your
mouth right here
you’re the coolest guy
muni golf courses of course he’s dirty
he grew up on
public golf courses
public golf courses are just
dirty it’s like it’s a caddyshack
stuff it’s like
the people who work in caddyshack that’s like pool
same kind of
thing if you go there every day
but just like
pools with it some people like it’s saturday night
comes the day to a pool
right be right next to the general gamblers
wow a lot of golfers are big gamblers right yeah
what’s that
about i just
some to make more interesting i don’t know
gambling off lends itself to gambling somehow
you can make handicapped
system that works really well
well i’ll tell
you man when you play in pool nothing makes it more
exciting than even having five
bucks online
yeah when you and i
would play football
championship
give a hard what i give you the
eight ball or something you give me the
seven and the
seven and the nine
seven and nine yeah but
seven wasn’t wild well we playing ten ball or nine ball
nine ball okay so i just gave you the
seven ball yeah
i gave ari the call
seven call seven
for pool players
but it would be
fun we would battle it out for five
bucks i mean the
table time was more than five bucks but
it wasn’t the
point the point was like
we’re really trying to win
you know it’s a
weird thing when you get into a game and you’re really
really really trying to win you figure out how to run
a rack out when
you’re really nervous and sure you’re trying to it
doesn’t make any
sense you something make it
that’s all you need just five bucks
that’s why i say like
watching fights
when you’re gambling on the
fights is so much more
exciting yeah you
know that’s one of the coolest
things about when we used to go to those
fights in vegas
you know when they had the wfa
and a bunch of different
yeah organizations you go bet on a man
that’s that’s the
greatest thing i’ve left
like mandalay mgm
there’s a time is like fifteen minutes so next fight
is like okay
go put the money on this here’s 40 for this and 20
for that you’re like okay and you run down there to the
sportsbook as fast as possible to come running back
i’ve never asked anybody if i’m allowed to
bent on the ufc
because i don’t want to hear the answer
you have no outcome on the fight
yeah i’ve no way to
influence the outcome
but i can’t
influence the way people feel
about fighters yeah
which i don’t ever
try to do deliberately although people accuse me of it
it’s just my opinions
everybody has different opinions you know i
i mean even when my friends are
fighting like george saudiropus is a good friend i’ve
trained with that guy a
bunch of times i like him a lot of hung out with him at
night with him and his wife and he’s a great guy
but when he was
fighting dennis
ever and i’m like dennis
he was a fucking
beast man and
once you’re in there i i i i have to look at you for
what your your flaws
are what your strengths are what your weaknesses yeah
and that was autoropolous
i’m like he’s
gotta work on
his take downs man he can’t take this guy down
and this guy is a fucking gorilla
dennis he was a big fucking
scary gorilla he’s a bad
motherfucker
i’m a dennis heber fan
you know even though
george is a good friend of mine and i’m a dennis heber
fan i think he’s a fucking
monster you know
it’s it’s people
think that you you can
influence the
fight but you really can
but i wonder if it
would be against
some sort of law
if i gamble shouldn’t
be you think they
would tell you
being a vegas
based organization you
would think
right that they
would say this retard isn’t
stupid enough to think you
fucking gamble off
right knows
you can’t gamble right
well i probably fucking
could make some money
i could make some
money i’m pretty goddamn good at picking fights
i would say i’m probably more than 50
i mean with mma
shit you really almost
never know you have an insider
knowledge though yeah
if you’re talking about like
people want to bet on
whichever football team whichever
fighter that they
think is better
you have more of a reason to
think someone’s better or worse
than other people you have a better knowledge of the
right but would
would be creepy as if you knew some shits inside
shit like if you knew
about like a knee injury or something like that
that was the case i
would never
bet on the fight there’s no way
i would bet on something if i had some
freaky knowledge
but if you just like
after the range like you look good yeah then
that’s not inside
yeah yeah but i
think you’ll bet and
against the
fighter when you know he’s jacked that seems to me like
cheating that seems to me like insider trading
right right
doesn’t it i always tell my friends like the
insider trading all i get from them is when they tell
me like what people are saying and sometimes it like
like chuck the
day after some before is the
there’s nothing
with the silva
what is his name
no silva when chuck
adele fought silva
who ran away
mandala yeah
before that and
after the weigh ins
why the fuck
could i not
think of vandalism
is one of the best
syllable for some
reason goes i was trying to think of
i think of him as a one eighty five
pounder now for some
stupid reason
remember every all the
trainers and
stuff that i’m friends with like oh
chuck look good i’m like oh i
guess chuck looks good
then i have no idea how to tell that but then i told my
hey chuck looks good
well chuck always look good
chuck was the the prime years of chuck
now back when he knocked out randy kotor
two times in a row and
knocked out baba lou and
he’s knocking out everybody knocked out for an entire
one he just
knocked out everybody fought man everybody fought
he went in there guns blazing
and blasted him away for like years he was the
first one that was on the billboard of the hyatt
that they covered the
whole side he was the first one of
mma that was on there for like a while
dude chocolate down in his heyday man what a fucking
a warrior that guy was he was a
savage she would just go out there guns blazing
but his style
is so aggressive
that he leaves himself for counterattacks
you know yeah it’s like he’s always
marching forward like he got
knocked out by rich franklin
he was killing rich franklin because he
broke his arm
no the last
fight that’s
right he broke his arm he was
blasting a man
is really her chances and he left an opening
but he left more than that too
because rich tagged him a couple of times before that
i saw him really get to him a couple times before that
franklin hits hard and
he hit him with a couple of big shots
but it’s like chuck’s
aggressive style
was the reason why he was so good
and it’s also the reason why
when your career is over it’s over
it’s over yeah you don’t
get the same opportunities that a real tactician gets
you know not that he wasn’t a tactician he’s
super aggressive
you know but like
the guys who like our
safety first fighters
you know they don’t
they don’t get the people who love him as much though
you know they
get you know they get
they get to not take as much punishment
but people for whatever reason don’t
why are people not liking tim
sylvia after
well but i was like he’s
champion why
should he take chances
that’s when i was
learning mma and
stuff learning
about it not putting it but like
people like
yeah he’s just born he plays a safe he wins the first
you know three
rounds and then
he’s like i’m not taking any chance for the next two
right and then but i was like why
should he doesn’t
seem like a good decision to take chances when he’s up
three or nothing
we’re going down
what is that
noise it’s just a
plane breaking apart
interesting
um i take your tea
no no okay yeah um
i don’t know man all
these years of
watching fights
it’s it’s almost like i’ve
seen too many i have like too many stored in my memory
the overloading
i’ve had them
i’ve been doing
ufc since ufc
thirty seven and a half was like the
first one that i worked
i think that’s like way more than a thousand fights
but way more
because there’s all the
ufcs and all the
spike shows to sure
and it’s like at
least nine shows nine
fights per show
at least oh
thousand fights yeah oh and i
was like wait what
and by the way why did i
think that was even a possibility
oh my god my map is like
we do so many this year on
spike tv and so
many pay per views
versus you’ve done
yeah we’ve done so many
fights i think it’s somewhere around a thousand fights
i think it’s more
probably 10 to 12 of each one
yeah most the most is 12 but it’s usually 11
but either way it’s been so many
fights that it’s almost like they
blur like i forget
who fought did you ever go
under card fire
did you ever go to
watch any of the
ultimate fighter
fights i still
haven’t really
missed it this
year i didn’t get a chance this year i was too busy
this year while they were doing it this
season i was
super busy but
don’t you go to
vegas sometimes
during when they’re filming ultimate
fighter yeah but when you’re there for the fights man
i work out and i go do a show somewhere half the time
you know vegas is like the most
common that i don’t do a show you know
you should go roll with
those guys on the
ultimate fighter
some of them
right you should
stop in there one day roll them for a little while
yeah that’d be
interesting because then you get your workout in yeah
especially on some shows you don’t have a friday
night show yeah
go on there i can roll with them a little bit got a
sweat and then
it’d be cool yeah
i bet ufc would like you to do that too
yeah see when they’re
sweating yeah
until i put the
choke to some of those boys
don’t show this
these are punishment
squeeze the neck my friend go to sleep now
the joke is hard what a
crazy way to try to make a living huh
those guys are really savages
jokers people no those guys getting into the ufc and
entering into the ultimate
fighter and getting on that show and being in that
house with a
bunch of dudes that you’re gonna have to fight
what a crazy idea for a show that shit will go on for
a billion years okay because it’s always interesting
there’s always new people that want to fight
there’s always you know
fucking new great
rivalries that get born out of that house
yeah they painted
it in the ufc like six years later
the point that never was you know
some of the
greatest rivalries ever have come from that house
diego sanchez and fucking kenny florian that fight
i never watch that show i never got into that show
that was season one man really they’re both
fighting at one eighty five believe it or not
wow really kenny
was at one eighty five yeah i mean he wasn’t really
but he’s got such
big balls that he fought in the hundred eighty five
pound division when he’s a natural one
fifty five or
so he’s walking like one eighty two
say fucking all fat and shit
walking all fat slung
slung dick and
elbows i like that guy in florida he’s a nice guy
he’s a nice guy and he’s a bad
motherfucker yeah
he’s a really
smart guy i like him a lot
he’s like i know he’s not jewish but i don’t correct
people when they say he is haha you take him as an
honorary joe
you like kenny florian
you’re not a realy joe
yeah he’s a great guy he’s one of those rare guys
that had like a real happy
childhood too
as there is
close to action doctors right
family guy yeah they’re all i
think his father’s a surgeon
yeah yeah it’s like
crazy man he’s like you grew up he just
wants to do it that’s what he wants to do you know
grant hill was
like that his dad was a professional football player
really yeah always
got along with him was like what you want to do play
basketball okay go for it
mma kind of
go for it yeah well that’s a good dad yeah
those those creepy dads that want kids to do what
what you want them to do
that’s terrible you see that suppression
that really fucks kids
heads up my dad was so mad at me when i quit soccer
was he was so mad i didn’t get it till way
later while i was so mad
i just thought he was
teaching me how to not to be a quitter or something
right but really it’s because he grew up playing soccer
wanted me to play soccer
right he did
wow i know it’s so
weird isn’t it if my kid didn’t want to do
jiu jitsu i just have to recognize that
you have to accept it
it’d be tough though
like something else you want to do yeah
yeah you can’t
want your kid
to do something they don’t want to do you’re
gonna create
some angry person the
worst portrayal
of if one of your kids was like i’m
gonna play a team sports
you’d be like
no i wouldn’t
that’s cool
look i like pool
pool is way
more boring to a lot of people than baseball
a lot of people
in baseball is boring
but to me you know it’s fascinating
i mean i don’t you
should be able to like and
watch whatever you want uh huh
you know i i fully
support that
but i just don’t
think that a lot of people
think of kids as being
individual people
i think they
think of them
as an extension of them like they own that kid
so it’s for your dad it’s like this is my son
why isn’t my son playing soccer no
that should be this yeah
i really see a quitter now i’m just
gonna quit things yeah that’s probably seven haha
uncle say something like that
about me like quitting
things and i got
really pissed that i went and talked to him for years
wow this is
silliness man
you know when people talk
about being quitters and
not quitting
you’re saying that
to a kid when you’re like giving them that negative
reinforcement like that what are you
gonna be a quitter
you know that’s not how to deal with it you know
the way to deal with it well the problem is most people
haven’t push
out that part of
one thing like
eight years old and like that’s what i do forever
shit like will
smith we’re just saying he didn’t quit
rap he just
he did it for five or six years
and they did
something else
it’s also you know one person soccer’s another person’s
basketball you just have to find that
thing you know
it for you it wasn’t soccer but
maybe it would have been
you know what what the fuck ever gymnastics you
really want
to do it yeah
maybe there’s something you
gotta find what the fuck you like
can’t be dependent
on somebody else here’s pizza
he was friends with
gretzky because there’s a
he’s a practice player for the kings for a while
wow and he went to like some signings with him
right just like hang out with him and stuff
and he said some
guy was like you know took his son in line to get a
gretzky book sign or
gretzky poster signed
and he goes you know
wayne tell my son how important it is to practice
every day you know
he’s like yeah it’s
really important
to do that and they left and
he turned to
harris and he was like the
thing is when i was his age
that’s all i wanted to do
was play hockey
no one had to tell me to practice
this is all i wanted to do
so i guess technically i was practicing but
i was just playing
you can’t make someone want to practice
yeah i know shit you know
you like it and do it all the time yeah
if you don’t
then don’t do it at all
do something else that you
like doing it do that all the time yeah no kidding man
it just sucks to feel like a pool player
where your sport the
thing you love to do all the time
can net you
five bucks a year yeah
you know professionals
bowling it’s just you’re not
gonna make any
money i know some guys that do like mika eminem
he plays professional pool he makes good money
and you know like
shane bambone
he makes good
money like that
the upper echelon players
but like max you know
max is struggling max is one of the best guys in the
world he just
doesn’t win enough tournaments
places like
third here you know
get like four
three six how much
is the ninety
ninth best pool player in the
world man fuck
compared to golfer
yeah it’s really
ridiculous a
night night method in nba is a starter
yeah professional starter on
makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a year
millions yeah
really this league minimum was like a hundred
twenty five thousand
so the worst guy in the nba makes a hundred
twenty five
and that was like ten years ago
what’s it now i don’t know
leave it on probably
two or three hundred thousand
yeah well they have a
short spirit
period of time
where they can do that that was supposed to
which is the
problem pool is no one’s ever figured out how to
organize and put it on tv correctly
you know what i was saying
about watching that chat that chasta speed chas
it’s almost like they
should do something like that with pool
because that
speed chess was really
exciting man
you know that
speed chess was interesting so like speed pool
yeah it would be
a race to 10
but you also have a clock
as soon as the ball
starts moving you have only so long to
yeah yeah george
as soon as he
starts to climb
every game no matter how much time it takes
to get through each rack all that time is calculated
even 10 ball or something but you
would lose a
certain amount once your minutes go you lose
20 balls yeah i think that
some sort of an
added little pressure
thing would be fun for pool
would get people into it
that makes safety shots so much more
powerful pool
is one of those
things though
that’s only interesting to people that play it
like it’s interesting
to you because you know how to play but to
other people don’t know how to play it’s just like so
stupid like who gives a shit
if that ball goes in the hole hit it already hit balls
yeah it’s a
weird thing
games games
scare the shit out of me i’ve lost
giant chunks of my consciousness to games
giant i remember
being in a driver’s
ed and they said that there used to be a good
judge of driver’s ed
about driving abilities who had the best
grades really
yeah but then they
redid studies and they said that’s it
video games
oh wow it was way more important than bets of
grades dude there’s a guy that
went down to nurburgring
in a race car the nurburgring is a huge
racetrack i
think it’s like
seven miles numb
it takes a really good race car like
seven minutes
and like i think like
i think like
seven minutes and thirty
seconds is what like the corvette zr1
so it’s a long ass
track and it’s got a
bunch of crazy
curves and shit
and so um they
they put this on a video game
and so on the
video game you
literally drive
the exact course
and you go through the
exact same lanes that all
the real racetrack car
drivers would
and they have the
exact same like
like background
so when you
do it you feel like you’ve already been there
so they had this
kid who was like really good at playing the video game
and they took him on a race car around the nurburgring
and he had like this badass time
like he knew how to do it good
because he was really good at
doing the video game
so they just had to
teach him how to operate a race car
show the fundamental
that he could do it
wait hold on a second
this is the
exact plot of that
movie from the 80s
where the guys
super good at
video games and then outer
space they come in
yes alex rogan
his name was alex really
what movie was that
star fighter
some shit like
he’s the best of the
video game but the
video game was just an elaborate
test by the
aliens to see who
would who would
fight for them
yeah what was it called star something
yeah and they did a
south park episode of the same
thing really yeah
it was yeah because the
level 99 and
kenny was like the greatest
level and then they thought
good versus evil hell
versus satan wow
well this guy actually did that
this guy actually did go around the nurburgring
and they said he had a
great time he did really really
yeah you did that yeah
he said he knew when to
break and he knew when to
when they accelerate
out of corners
and those games
the physics of
those games are really pretty life like
they make it really the
others with
flight simulators like that yeah
oh that’s another
thing tiger was that when we were playing
somebody one of us hit a shot up look like he was
going on the
green perfectly
and like a nice shot and
tigers like nah it’s
gonna roll off the back of the sand
like no no it’s safe as fall on the
front and it
starts to slow down and pick
up a little
steam and rolls off the back of his head
like how’d you know that
because because i played that course
like thirty five times
also the course was exactly
just yeah rolls off the back
that’s amazing yeah he’s like you
gotta bounce it up to this
how do they incorporate
those physics into the game well they have professional
or semi like professional level
golfers help design the game
so they go to the courses and make
it like that exactly but how do they know like when
they incorporate gravity like we’re
steeper hills make the ball roll faster yeah
one rolls off to the right one
bring you know
they try to make it just like the
grain and one day they’re
gonna be able to actually recreate the
exact topography
yeah that’s
gonna be crazy yeah
you’ll be able to recreate the
exact topography
of the course you can play pebble
beach in your
home or in your
local like you know
yeah you have like a club
and the club somehow another has some sort of a
sensor on it
it’s like a motion
sensor and the laser tag
place yeah recreate it
every time with
holograms yeah and you do it in like you know in
front of some big screen
i played that golf in or
golf before in
maryland in the winter
you hit a screen they try to
judge the trajectory of the ball but it was real
you know they’re basic
like that and then they tell you
where you are in the
rough what happens to
place your ball either in
rough grass
or in regular
grass which is the fairway
you know or take a
penalty and then on the
green they tell you how
far away from the hole to put it but it was the same
green every time man
i’m so excited
about what the hell is gonna happen in the future
yeah i mean the future of
video games
virtual reality and just
we’re in such a weird time you know
i mean a couple of hundred years ago you
would live your
whole life and nobody ever invented shit
the things you would go but you go
whole like a no new invention would be created
yeah nothing new yeah
no cottage that happened once a generation
yeah you know or even a bit less and it’s like
sure i mean there
might be some things are getting me but the
things that you don’t that you know
about things that actually help and affect your life
not that much but now we
have so many of them
in my life in the cell phone
internet internet
computers in general yeah portable computers yeah
all these things
completely change the way we do a cell phone
not even you can’t even say cell
phone anymore because now it’s the
age of the smartphone
this is a bigger leap
then i mean then just a
phone you know a little
thing that you can get information from from the sky
i mean that
the with the cell phone is now like your iphone
right there and the one that we’re recording this into
these things are
these are little computers
that connect you to the the rest of the world man
i mean we did this this show in
sydney all through
these iphones man
we tweeted it
we tweeted it and packed up on the iphone
yeah yeah all through the air just walking around
click click click
click click
with no wifi signal i just i just
sent a text
to twitter to put this on and they did yeah man
it’s i mean this is that’s the biggest leap of all time
the the ability to get
google on that and find answers to anything immediately
that’s crazy
and plus you can record your surroundings
take photos of yourself
listen to music really
same quality
photos yeah and talk to people
and video conference if you’re near a wifi signal
i videotaped the kangaroo jerking off yeah
the zoo because of this
technology that
mommy at all times
you need a little
upload that to youtube
that you’re
gonna upload it i guess
i should have done something more clear is he
pretty clear obvious
yeah it’s amazing right now
in shazam just the fact that it has shazam on it
it was crazy it doesn’t even make sense what
song it is it’s playing and it’s almost always accurate
wow this is very blatantly
just jerking it
this might get already arrested i
tried to get in this
but then i think he took like an aggressive
stance so i got scared
like here i’ll
tell you inside this no it’s like a walk around area
you can walk nearby
is there a fence in
front of you no it’s a wallaby
you can go up to it
well you’re not supposed to get off the path
you could go
right up to that
thing yeah all
right we’ll have to put this on line
ladies and gentlemen
i got fully scared of the wallaby that’s allowed to go
right up to you
you should be scared yeah
the deal is
there’s no social contract
yeah exactly
i erected his jerk off that’s face
animals aren’t you what happened to the tea
you took it away
i don’t know
i don’t drink
these i thought maybe you only want one cup
this motherfucker you let him take it how high are you
but blitzkrieged
ari and i had an edible
i guess we should take this time to
thank our sponsors and zen
this is our model
zen dispensary
their breath strips are amazing
and you run
i like these podcasts on planes
need to start doing more of these from now on
every time i
travel i’m gonna do one so i’ll do one with tom zagura
on wednesday when we go to louisville
it’s good idea especially long flights like yeah
why not podcast on a plane or phone yeah
it’s interesting
i mean you know
that’s it’s also
an interesting little network that we have of all
these people now
that are doing i mean you’re
starting to do one now too what are you calling yours
uh skeptic tank
the skeptic tank
and of course doug benson has doug loves
movies and we see doug all the time and it’s like
it’s weird it’s like there’s
there’s like this
whole network of people that are
are doing these now we’re all like doing it together
and everybody
seems really cool with everybody people have
other people on each
other’s podcasts and everyone’s like support the
style is like all
right yeah dogs
thing is like i
gotta go talk about
movies yeah that’s fine yeah that’s his
thing you know when you do this
thing that’s what it is
and then you know
ours is you get high and talk
about whatever the fuck you want to talk about
for two hours yeah
and you know everybody’s got
their own little thing
but it’s really
cool how there’s so many people doing it now
and everybody’s supporting everybody
and i listen to
other people’s podcasts i want
to get fun to do yeah the real fun to
do she’s one of the door guys at the comedy store and
eric marino
at this thing
where they just like to talk
about sports like
gonna be on i was like all right
yeah just like yeah we’ll talk
about something for a little while
doesn’t matter if ten people
here if no one knows or with a million people here
we ran into a
bunch of people in australia that listen to the podcast
a lot yeah you know i mean
the podcast is
we don’t know the
exact numbers
but it’s well over two hundred thousand people
are listening each each
individual one wow yeah
you know and then
in time it goes
more and more and more people download the old ones and
it’s pretty
crazy that this can happen
this can happen
you know and then also there’s
there’s so many
different ways to listen to it you can get
use this thing called
stitcher you can listen to it
live where we play on you stream and
watch at the same time you can
listen to it by just
downloading the file from my website you don’t have to
you put itunes you can just download the raw mp three
and then you know
you put it on anything put on any kind of mp3 player
you know and if
you just keep providing people with something that they
enjoy like that you get a kind of like
you know you get a fan base like that’s
like the people that were hanging out with like in
sydney the people came to the shows
we got some cool
motherfuckers that are coming
to the know enough
about you and
about us in general that’s like
if they’re turned
off by the shit we do they won’t come out
right you know
so the people that come out are sort of
your cup of tea
yeah yeah i mean you know everybody’s got
their own thing man you know we’ve been talking
about you know
ari and i were talking
about this once like some comedians will get upset at
other comedians like they don’t like
their act and so they hate them
but it’s so
stupid it’s like
what do you give a shit like you don’t like that
style of comedy
but guess what
there’s thirty thousand people
in his audience so you telling me there’s something
wrong with that yeah
there he’s giving them exactly what they like yeah
even kara tom
even guys like
comics or whatever type of
comics like
that’s not your thing
but that’s okay exactly who the fuck are you to decide
you know what’s good and what’s bad you know let’s just
get it but i got caught up in it
yeah when i was younger for sure i did i did too i
recently let it go and last couple years like
it’s so much better now that you can actually
appreciate the
small things you can relate to in
their ass yes
let me the cable guy on some interview wants on like
leno or one of
those he said
having sex with his pregnant wife was like
was like um
jabbing he said
jabbing taking a
stick and jabbing a
stack full of puppies
and i’m like that’s a
funny joke and if you just
dismiss everything he says and you miss out on
a little joy of life i don’t dismiss him at all i
think he’s funny
you know i was telling you i hung out with him very
briefly way back in like shit like ninety
four or ninety five at the montreal comedy festival
we hung out the comedy works
and this is back when
larry was you know just another
comic that very few people knew who he was you know
he was living as a
cable guy another
is what is it dan whitney is that his real name
oh you still
going the old
no he was the
larry the cable guy there
you know he was he was doing
larry the cable guy
but you know people like they like take
offense to that or you know some people
judge it i don’t get it
it’s not my you know
it might not be my favorite kind of comedy but i
think he’s funny
yeah he makes me laugh
it makes me laugh a
bunch you just let go yeah
hey i’m supposed
to like this i’m not supposed to like that it’s like
you know like there’s all sorts of different
levels of everything
you know i mean
mcdonald’s cheeseburgers you
might not be
into it but obviously a lot of fucking yeah
you can’t say oh that’s terrible really
why is everyone eating it
that’s what i think
about republicans
really they have no
they have no basis to
stand on i don’t know anything
about politics but if they have no basis to
stand on why is
fifty percent of the country a republican
yeah well that’s an interesting way to
look at i think
there must be something
valid people i think
it is a good percentage of the time
when people choose whether or not they’re
gonna be a republican
or a liberal
conservative or democrat they
i think they find
a pattern of
thinking and then they just
stick to it
you chevy ford
seems just so dumb
and i think that’s responsible for a lot of it
that’s a lot of it
team concept
i want to pick a side
to it no matter what
every time yeah and then they you know and then you
especially if like
one of the best
things the republican
party it does
is that they
they really promote this idea of a united
front against
the dumb liberals the weak
liberals those
liberals out there they’re
gonna take away your money
and they propose
that you’re in on this like
it’s a team like when
people call the rush limbo show mega dittos rush
met at mega dittos meaning ditto meaning you i
guess you like you
we agree what
you’re saying i
guess that’s what it means
they call themselves ditto heads
you know i mean they just
they’re into rush
and yeah they want to
smoke the same
cigars that rush smokes
and they want to call up and
agree with him
and they want
and they want to
you know they want to suck republican cock that’s what
they used to be
if you were republican i just thought
you agree with
eight or nine out of ten
things that
other republicans agree with
yeah as opposed to two out of ten
things other publicly
agree with yeah
if you’re a democrat
it’s being a fanboy it’s just like
your fanboy of anything else it’s like
going to see star wars
thirteen times because you’re ten
you know that’s what it’s like it’s the same goddamn
thing it’s it’s
ridiculous behavior
but it’s so common you know
there’s people out there that firmly believe it
these lips are
gonna do this
but then you know
if you look at this
their point
of view when it comes to politics when it comes to
taxes and creating
big government and
everything like yeah man i yeah i
agree they’re
spending too much fucking
money i don’t
think the balance
going the right way
in what i understand and i
clearly know nothing
but i’ll tell you this that i didn’t
think that there was
any reason i told this before
there was no
reason we shouldn’t have universal health care
that’s what i always thought and people who are
against it were like retarded
and now my health care is worse
and it costs more
because of obamacare
and i was like oh that’s the give and take that’s
both sides have a
valid argument
the problem with
universal health care is that doctors get fucked over
you know doctors
get fucked over already by a lot of insurance companies
a lot of insurance companies don’t
wanna pay what a doctor wants to be paid for
you know certain
procedures and when they get to be really good
psychologist won’t take uh
won’t take insurance
why would i
build out a hundred dollars
for the insurance company when i can
build out a 300
that’s what i’m worth wow
so when you go to a
psychiatrist or a
psychologist you have to pay them
out of your pocket
certain ones certain ones are
insurance and the best ones are just not on insurance
i am all for people being competitive i
think it’s good i
think i want the doctor who’s the baddest
motherfucker
who drives a ferrari
because he’s the one who can
fix your fucking
brain tumor that’s the
guy you want you want this bad
motherfucker
you know you
want this dude is like intensely devoted to his craft
because he he
makes a lot of fucking
money from it
there’s a lot of reward and so there’s a lot of
reason for him to go chase
after and be
the best surgeon you have a life there that i
heard once i like but you were telling a
somebody about a bit
different vaporizers
one of your friends was like trying to buy a vaporizer
and he was like which one and you were like
the way you told sir i was like go with the broken
school thought
just get the more expensive one yeah it’s always better
it’s almost always better
nine point nine out of ten
better so just
i use that for almost
everything yeah
you have the
money to do it go with the better one
yeah the one that cost the most is usually the best the
reason why you go the same
prices for jessica ronaldi
yeah it’s like
why do you think for jessica
cost more yeah
it tastes better yeah don’t be
stupid might be
worth a difference but yeah
it is better it’s better yeah yeah
the ferrari
doesn’t cost
a quarter of a million dollars because it’s a
piece of bread
yeah there’s a
reason why people are willing to buy that goddamn thing
greatest car ever invented you know there’s
there’s there’s something to that now
there’s so many certain amount of
things you can think
about in this life
you have to have some methods to
deal with things
that’s my method
try to get whatever it is get the best one
don’t be don’t be
stupid yeah
so i don’t understand people use windows
like don’t you know that shit
people yeah
windows grown
i can build my own computer
i can i can upgrade if i like i
understand i
understand all that
maybe you do all that and i
appreciate that and i
think that’s awesome
but you can get a virus
and viruses are fucking terrible
could you imagine if it’s like no man
i’m gonna stay a
human i’m just
gonna eat acidophilus and a lot of
wheat grass juice and
i don’t worry
about this dark
black plague
or you know you can take this pill and be immortal
i’m gonna stick with it
stick with this
fighting all
virus on the plane yeah
people have windows
they’re being attacked every day
for a while you
can’t even go to websites
you go to websites and
big windows popeye and people
right now are
freaking out people are angry
fucking max
you max and
for the people who were like i was
seven or eight years ago we’re like
this is a new
system i can’t figure it out
you will get it
within a week or two
you will totally
figure it out of regular use if you’re an
idiot it’ll get
it’ll be just as easy as
this you know but some
people are really into like hacking the registry and
they’re really into
building their own
things i totally
get that i totally get that such a spot
slice the real
the real option for
those people is linux
real option is linux or unix
and there’s you know there’s there’s operating
systems that aren’t
virus infested
punk shit and they’re free
like there’s a lot of linux
now a lot of different building
that are available online for free
that are really good man they have a
great graphic interface
they have video players
there’s a few compatibility issues with something
yeah that to me
makes way more
sense than windows
windows i mean
i get it there’s a lot of peripherals that work with it
and a lot of people have just
grown up with it and used to it but
viruses are so
stupid so horrible
suddenly my computers working
worse cause i’m asshole
pranked me yeah exactly what evidence of cunts
you know i mean
if you ever want evidence of people are cunts
the number of
viruses that
exist are staggering
yeah for windows
there must be hundreds of thousands it’s not like the
virus that drains your bank
account and goes to some guy in russia it’s just the
virus that fucks you up yeah
doesn’t do anything for anyone yeah
and i asked somebody once like why do they
build those
viruses people
like mayhem
that’s it this one
create man you know
it’s like it’s like if there’s a room and it was like a
round circle
where women just put
most of their face
through and you can’t see who’s on the
other side and the
other side is all men that are naked it’s
gonna be a few that’ll just jerk off on someone’s face
they just they just want to
be able to affect you and you not know that it’s them
you know you know i mean
i mean there’s people that want to
reach out and
jizz on you
that’s what they want to do
they can find a way to just
whack one off on your face and you
couldn’t stop them and you didn’t know it was them they
would do it
they would do it just to look at it
people were sick
they twisted
i have a rule of
pranks because i
haven’t thought out
theory on them you know and the rules are this no
no monetary damage to anyone
and no physical damage to anyone
those are good
except yourself
those are good you
can put out a thousand dollars a ball
but you can’t make someone else pay too much yeah
those are good rules yeah
because other than that
butts hurt that’s it and you have to only
prank people that you actually like to you can’t be
pranking you can’t be
pranking someone you don’t
like because then that’s like sort of an act of war huh
you know it has to be like an act of
fun yeah because if you don’t like someone and then you
prank them that’s like your you just stepped it up
you know we once had
we got like
12 15 people
to wait for bobby lee
to pull into the parking
store parking lot at the comedy store
with on top of the roof
on the hyatt ramp
behind the garbage cans
all waiting and
choreographics hanging out with
water balloons
oh no yeah just waiting for all filling out this is
gonna happen
right now okay
he’s got a 10 15 spot he will be here at 9 45
and it is go time
that’s hilarious and we all just unloaded
water balloons at him
oh my god that’s hilarious it
was so epic
that’s epic
and the only
thing better was that not one of us hit him
it’s like eighty
balloons and not one person hit him that’s hilarious
dude did you were you there when
some guys got on the roof of the
store with a slingshot
was not there
they had like this sort of a
water balloon launching device yeah capital
had it some
slingshot type deal
and they were hurling
him over towards the
standards and hitting the bounce it was
that’s incredible
when you get hit by a
water balloon
let’s say that ever happens to you yeah
first like what
like okay my mind is
wrapping around its water
right and you’re like that was
water balloon
you get that within a
second or two
right and then you look
where the water balloon come from without
thinking this out it’s instant
people like within
four or five feet
that’s where
water balloons come from
ten feet maybe
you don’t think a hundred yards
up on some roof
across the street
down the block
no one would even consider that they
found out that it was
coming from the rooftop so the cops did come and visit
you know someone
you water balloons in a fucking straight line
straight back pointing
and the roof as
they adjusted for for
yeah accuracy
yeah they nailed somebody i remember they
hit somebody it was like a big fucking event everybody
came running down up
to the bar yeah
cops ran up
as they see
in caprollo
and i think freddy lockhart
and they had to hide
where mitsy’s office was
fuck quick come down here i hear footsteps
they did not
think cops ran
by them and they ran the rest
of the way out
that was i remember those
we did the combat
is easy they had it on the roof
well let’s not say it was
right as easy
because we might not
really yeah
we did it we all did it in la hoya
once in the condo
and it would go i don’t remember that
place at all yeah go over the boardwalk
halfway to the
ocean on the
beach oh my god it
would blow up like a land mine
people sitting there
would go in the sand
you see them
kind of like looking around like what was that
and then another one
would boom oh that’s hilarious
that’s hilarious
yeah that’s some terrorism shit though i
think that’s probably in the
patriot act
it’s probably not
allowed to do
that anymore
oh probably not
it’s a guy calling
you would have one guy pulling it back
right as hard as he can and two
other guys on either side
straight out with the arms
bracing and shaking holding it
steady oh that’s how you
do rubber thing one guy like this
the other guy on the
other side so you use your arms as the
your arms are like the
sticks like the
one guy would be your fingers pulling back
pull back as hard as you can
why not make something instead of that
that works why not
like have like a bow
like some sort of a
something yeah they
wash it for you yeah do like
something is
sticking the dirt
they are something yeah that’d be
great yeah like
maybe you if you were on a balcony
you could just have it like with a clamp yeah
to the balcony
get on it inventors
pranksters beware
this guy caught us once
because we did it way too much in the oil
and it was like at
night we try to get people that were walking with a
stuff and some guy this
black guy i remember from
going to the window like hey you fucking
dick assholes he was like he was like that one of the
southern including the blowfish my
black guys right
it was like hey turds
things like that if it
fit his face
we’re like don’t move
you can’t see us because we all fucking hit the deck
he’s like i see you
right there in the white
t shirt behind the
couch i can
still see you
what the fuck are you doing like he can’t see us
even though it’s describing us perfectly
how did he see you because he can see
right in we
weren’t hiding very well we were
get down here and kick your ass we didn’t move
pussies but that’s what
viruses are
right people like that yeah make little pranks
that that comedy
store la jolla such a strange place
because it’s
in a beautiful area la jolla is gorgeous it’s a real
affluent what
is like the bellaire
hills of san
diego yeah and
right there is this
dirty little comedy club
where it’s hasn’t
changed in thirty fucking years
barry diamonds
try that lines
once a year yeah
are this argus go down there
i think he’s
happy just featuring it’s such an old
school place
it’s a vacation for the
comics yeah
and so many
comics have done so much
crazy shit in that condo
like i can’t even remember
half the shit that’s happened that condo
the amount of coke that must have been in there
i would fill it up at this
point oh my goodness
yeah yeah that
place was that was it and that was a bit of
a first road gear for a lot of people yeah it
wouldn’t be able to get something that you go open for
steep hurdle
a very diamond
you’re like
fuck i don’t want to hang out with the
whole weekend
yeah but it’s like road work
i get to stay at the condo that’d be awesome yeah
i never had to deal with that because by the time she
eventually stopped torturing me and sent me there
yeah i started
going on the road with you
so it’s like no i’m not going
with barry diamond
down to la jolla
no i’ll go with
my friends or nothing stay in the condo yeah
no get creeped on
rusty dooley
used to sleep with a
screwdriver
underneath his pillow
because you’re scared of buried diamonds
wow he’s always on borderline whether it’s
by the way this is all alleged
ladies and gentlemen
yeah we have one nice guy we have no documentation
to prove any of this is true
those old school guys that
were around like barry diamond was in that bachelor
party movie with tom hanks
he had second
time contain he was a big guy at some point
yeah what happened
you know careers come and go
i don’t just didn’t go up didn’t go down
i don’t understand yeah
but i know people used to talk before my time will talk
about him as like the next big thing once he did
after the party
wow that was a legitimate part huge i’m imagining
any friend of mine getting a part like that in a comedy
movie yeah that’d be pretty
impressive how the hell does he not get more movies
maybe at the wrong management or something
weird business huh show business is so strange
that’s why it’s
the best when you just concentrate just on
stand up that’s one of the
things i love
about stand up
i could just
have to worry
about all these
other variables all
these other people
just concentrate on my own shit
just working on my own thing
going up there busting
it out improving it writing new shit
putting it on a dvd
and then repeat the process
that’s to me like the
the most satisfying form of
show business yeah
the work part of it is handled by your agency managers
like yeah how much was my
quote for this
place whatever
but the part of it you have to deal with the
stuff you want to deal with yeah it’s fun it’s
exciting yeah
thank you it’s
exciting to come up with new shit man it’s
exciting to put together a new special
improve a bit
thank you very much
you got some water bitches
first class they just come around and give you
still water they just come around
by the way ari and i are sitting together in
ari’s little cubicle my pod
we’re doing a podcast
it’s a pod podcast
because we’re on qantas
and they have these pods man they’re
fucking delicious
yeah it’s a lot of room there’s two seats in it
everybody gets two windows or
two three really three
out the window and then you have
that’s how much
space it is like lengthwise you have this bed
chair that turns into a bed full
a bunch of movies on a big
screen so i
got a tv that it’s not like
like a little
headrest type deal you have your own tv it’s like
the tv used to have in college yeah it’s like as
good as that or a little bit better it’s probably like
twenty inches right
i don’t know
that that thing
seventeen inches that’s
everything is bigger than that yeah
it’s bigger
than that so it’s pretty and you
could push a button that’ll go away
it’s amazing back
amazing shit
yeah we’re flying
over the surface of the planet
thirty thousand feet over the ocean
the entire trip is
taken over the ocean
if anything goes
wrong you’re
completely totally fucked
there is no emergency
landing it’s not happening
they’ve escaped patches for
first class
with that twelve
hours over the
ocean in the air oh
how odd over
the over the
ocean nothing
around how odd
how odd is this that we can do this
super casual
yeah man this is
some revolutionary
human thing that we’re experiencing here
you know this has only been around for a hundred years
you know this is this is a blank
not even a blink in
human history which is
a blank in the
we already have a plan but it’s like it’s gone to
well they’re pretty goddamn slick now
you know it’s amazing how efficient they are
and how how
they can keep
using them over and over and over
again it’s retired
the discovery of challenger
which i wanted to blow up
challenge challenger
that did not blow up
challenger blew up
i don’t remember discovery is the new one i
think okay who’s the yeah
but one they just retired they have a couple of them
right where it’s like
that’s been in business for 30 years
yeah it works
it’s amazing you know
there’s some new studies that they’ve done
where they’re considering the possibility of
an error or an
eccentricity in the moon’s orbit
that they attribute to
a large planet
that’s outside of pluto they
know this is something that’s being considered i
think it was at cornell
it’s like a pretty serious planet yeah
well it’s not just this there’s a bunch of different
things that are pointing towards
a huge object
outside of pluto
and they’re saying it’s four times the size of jupiter
it’s absolutely enormous
and this is another finding
that’s one of a couple that they’ve come through with
where they’re calculating
that there is something out there
you know so this is like
it’s like a theory they haven’t
quite totally decided on like a lot you know there’s
there’s still some debate on it
but there seems to be several different things are
pointing towards it
they don’t know what it is but there
it could be
you know just some
enormous gas giant you know
be who else could be like
a star that we can’t see like one of those dwarf stars
like what are
there stars that you can’t see
is there stars that you can’t see with the naked eye
the naked eye yeah
i mean like a type of star
isn’t there
i don’t know
i don’t know enough
about yeah i don’t know enough
about that but i’ve heard that
some stars like literally can be hidden
you know they
would have to be like really really far away and hidden
like maybe that’s a star that’s burnt out
you know that’s like
yeah could be i mean
it’s we’re talking
about something that’s so far outside of our
solar system it’s you know
it’s i think further outside of
pluto than pluto is to us
it’s really far
but it’s really big whatever it is
i mean have you ever looked at one of those
really cool
youtube clips where they show you like the size of
the sun and the size
of earth and then the size of
a bigger sun
and a much bigger sun and a much
bigger star
and then around
giant giant
galaxies where they have these
huge you know
i forget the terminology for the stars but enormous
white and red stars that are like
thousands and thousands of times bigger than our stars
enormous monstrous stars
that’s like
you try to wrap your fucking head around going like wow
what how big is this
thing i mean how big does it get how many how many of
these are really
giant enormous things there’s something to wrap it
around infiniti
it’s impossible yeah
it’s like it’s like a fake it’s like
trying to wrap your head around the universe is like
trying to pick up the
ocean with your hands
yeah it’s like okay so we have a god
then what then what
like then another
thing then another
thing another universe it’s like yeah then what
it does end like no it just
doesn’t end it’s too crazy yeah
it’s an amazing
thing man that we are
flying through
space that we are in
space right now
space is above our head
it’s an amazing
thing that gets so little attention
you know if it didn’t
exist and then all of a
sudden it did
it would be the craziest thing ever
if all of a sudden
above us was infinity
like out of nowhere
the roof came off
and we could see infinity
be freaking out all the time
just the idea that there’s enough
nothing from
your head straight up through
to forever just go straight
you know like that
doesn’t even make
sense it’s almost impossible
to think about that
it’s almost impossible to put
every direction
every infinite direction
just keeps going so really this big planet outside of
pluto ain’t shit
really no big deal you know in
comparison to all the other
stuff that’s out there
you know why
would you be
surprised if there’s a big planet out there but
for a lot of people it seems
preposterous
like there’s people that
just don’t want to believe that there’s
you know anything weird
is any life
that is has a sun
you know with
their own star
and orbits you know with like the same
solar systems like we have
but it’s super
small she’s like
their earth
their whatever version of
earth is probably way closer to
their stars so much
smaller but
everybody’s like
three four five inches tall
wow this little tiny planet because if you
think that that
might be a huge planet with bigger people on it
how small could a planet
get and still be a planet though because pluto
was really tiny
and they stopped making it a planet
or they stopped designating it as a planet it’s now
yeah it’s now like a
kuiper belt
object pluto’s not a planet it was all ice
yeah i think pluto
well i know
pluto is a regularly shaped
i think pluto like almost is like
an asteroid you know almost is like you know
giant asteroid
look at the kuiper belt is a belt of
large objects and
there’s one of them that they
found that was
three quarters of the size of
pluto that’s just outside of pluto
right before they decide the
pluto’s on a planet anyone
there’s like a lot of debate back and forth
it was a fairly recent decision that they made to stop
you know having
pluto as a planet
and the reason why they
made it is like man we’re
gonna have to name a hundred planets
right gang of
pluto’s out there
so what it is is like
what pluto is is
like one of the outer edges when an outer kuiper belt
objects and then
since then they’ve
identified a
bunch of kuiper belt objects
but from what i
understand one of the
first reasons why they suspected that something with
a large amount of mass
was way outside of pluto
because all
these objects
that it gets to a certain
point in it it unnaturally drops off i
think it’s called the galactic shelf
and what they were saying is that you
know the most likely
reason for that to happen is something really big
outside of it with a lot of mass
so something’s flying around out there
wow you know
but that should really surprise us
when we look at all those
you know you look at
half a shit that you see in the sky is there’s stars i
mean not half a ship but there’s stars and there’s
even other galaxies out there it’s not really
you know we
could look into the you know look into the
milky way and see
i mean how many stars if you’re in a country road
you know if you’re in some
place doesn’t have any
light pollution
i mean they’re just clustered and it
literally does look like milk
and each one of them
could have planets around it
most of them do
right don’t most stars have planets
i don’t know
i think they do
i mean they’ve
identified so many planets now
the idea that
you know that
this is the only one that has something like us
seems pretty silly
yeah remember they released that um
telescope but the one they sent out
sick pictures like venus and
mars it was
gonna hit like five or six of the planets over
a hundred years
voyager okay and eventually
get i don’t know if it’s
gonna get near
pluto or not but yeah
send back pictures anymore
i don’t know but in that
in that ship
these are all
scientists and regular people they included
stuff about human
yeah you know
humans in their makeup because they
actually made a gold plate yeah
had drawings on it of the
shape of men
at some point they have to think
guys let’s be honest it’s possible yeah let’s
just in case let’s put some
stuff about us
yeah exactly they had a diagram we
do what planet
we came from in a relationship there’s no reason
to do that if you don’t think
because you’re all
alone it’s true
and what’s really interesting is that the way they
wrote it out you know it really looks like
something it’s really cool
like a drawing of a man and
woman very simple you know
circles that represent the planet
the showing
which planet it came from
and really almost like hieroglyphs it’s really not bad
i guess it kind of is a
hieroglyphs yeah
it’s like this is the
simplest most mathematical
way we can tell
other grace
about us imagine if we really were the only
things in the universe though that’s a real mindful
can you imagine if this life
thing is just a real
weird aberration
30 000 years somebody just comes across that
voyager i was like wait
we found it
would be some
great discovery
like a titanic
what if it is
what if it really is that
human beings like
that we really are
only on this planet and we really do only exist
to facilitate the invention of
some sort of a
crazy universe ending device
like the the
the next stage of the
large hadron
glider or some new type of atomic
power that just
literally blows a hole
for the universe
i mean what if that really is what people here for
what we really do
have some weird
almost parasitic
or symbiotic relationship to computers and
technology once
you get into
if that’s what we’re here for that
sounds like fate
yeah but i can
say what if that’s our inevitable outcome
that’s that’s
one way of looking at it but i mean when you look at
a caterpillar
and what is it here for
it’s here to become a butterfly
i mean that’s it’s not it’s inevitable fate it’s just
it’s that’s what it’s here for it’s
going to become
a butterfly and then what’s a butterfly here for
i probably to be a part of this
huge mathematical program that is life
that incorporates wind and
moisture and
lightning bugs and
dogs and cats and
all these different events happening
all interconnected millions of events
every minute
constantly interacting with each other
you know that’s what
a butterfly is
what a butterfly is is a part of this gigantic system
you know what i mean it’s no more no less
you know what
what is the significance of its
place i don’t know but it seems like
everything is connected in that way
everything is so
what we’re doing for
sure is making crazier and crazier shit all the time
you know me you and i were so fascinated
that this podcast was saved
because of the iphone crashed
and we just booted up to my laptop and it
saved it on the laptop me we were
that we are compelled
and we’re drawn to the newest
greatest shit like oh cool and that does this oh cool
it’s like your
brain is rewarded with that
you know like we were talking
about virtual reality and
video games you know that are so
immersive and that are more
exciting than real life it’s like
you’re being rewarded by making
the more you support
these things like getting better
the more you purchase them
which more drives the
market drives
innovation that’s how drugs are
exactly it is like a drug
is it like will like viagra
like anything it’s like how much
money can we get out of this yes
how much money will get towards research yes exactly no
yeah of course yeah
anything high
blood pressure
drugs that’s all we can get a lot of
money for this yeah
so let’s researcher
yeah get something
so video games the same way they do way more business
than the movies
it’s amazing isn’t it
now now they’re through the roof
you know i mean now it’s like
i mean they’re they’re on epic
levels man you know
games like call of duty
they just they
do like hundreds of millions of dollars you know
constantly selling
thousands and millions of
copies man it’s just incredible
i mean i don’t know how many
copies they sold
worldwide but i mean everybody plays call of duty
it has to be millions
it must be millions of people
yeah it must be
no doubt about it
that’s there’s certain games that are just like mad and
everybody talks
about playing mad and
become people were just
goddamn fucking episodes is that so or
copies is that so
must be fucking millions
every year that comes to new one yeah
get people against what we’re doing with the ufc game
every year yeah
i’m working on that thing oh i put in
some fucking long days dude
doing commentary for that thing doing a
lot of commentary
yeah like i do it sometimes so
i can only do it for like four
hours and it’s
so intense you know
it’s like so you’re so pushing and you
see where it’s like
mostly down time
right well the
ufc you know sometimes nothing’s happening
this is like if action was happening constantly
every minute for four hours
that never happens on the ufc
you know the ufc there’s a lot of time
where guys are moving around nothing’s happening
you know there know
you’re talking
about what this guy needs
to do what that guy needs to do you play that game
i played a couple times
you got go to the ground or not
no i’ve got to
learn the ground
no idea what’s
going on and i’m scared of it
you know i’m scared all
video games
because of my my quick days
i’ll never get
fully into a
video game like i give myself
pool i allow pool
because pool
there’s like a mind body
connection that’s
going on to this is and
state the achieve
that even yeah
and it’s you know
that’s that’s a
to me beneficial
it’s not just
it is not just hurt your body
both video games gets me a
crazy like i remember
walking away from quake
my heart’s pounding
you know my hands are
sleeping you play you
can be like i’ll play one more hour then i’ll go
sleep like no i’m not
sleeping after that level
yeah so much fun man
and they’re only getting more and more
fun and they’re only getting more and more immersive
the ground is
really from the
fighters they say the ground is like
really sort of realistic once you get the hang of it
wow gents pulled
i did an interview for something for
when they put out i
think you’re too yeah
so i did interview people outside a
strike force event
new york city’s like fuck you or
photobombing your
shit oh yes
ask you about it
so i asked jens bulver
about it he was there
and he was like yeah i was playing and
you know i took people down i
would really get all my friends like yeah
definitely have done this more in real life too yeah
you’re good at this that’s
funny yeah that’s funny
yeah jen’s palmers are
real veteran
he’s one of
those guys that got into that
habit of banging with guys you know
standing and banging and making the
fights exciting for the fans you know yeah
he had a real
safety first
style and then he got criticized for it and they
changed the
style became a
champion lightweight
lightweight yeah
lightweight
i don’t believe it was called
lightweight back then though
i think one
fifty five at one
point in time i
think they called it the panama
championship or
one at a time
i’ve got i need to go look at that i
might be talking out of my ass but i do
think that the names were different
i think the
lightweight
championship was one
seventy and one time like when pat militage
first won the one seventy
title i’m pretty sure it was called
lightweight
really yeah
do they go back and change those
when somebody’s
like for all time stats it’s like who’s the
first lightweight champion
they don’t get well i
think by the time
jens palver want it i
think it was
lightweight
yeah i think it was
lightweight
back then he i
think he was the
first ufc lightweight
champion though
you know what i’m really this is
sad usually i’m pretty good at this stuff
but for whatever reason
but he was one of the guys yeah well we’re tired too
but he was gents was one of the guys that was
first that was really good with his hands
he is a really good boxer even had some pro boxing
fights oh really yeah he had some he was
little guys those
pioneer guys like from from that era
you know it’s like
boy those guys really blazed a
trail there
was nothing before them you know there was like
a few guys that
entered into the
sport like by the time
chuck liddell got in i mean it was so new
randy couture it was all so new 96
like three years into the
sport being born
created no they were the
first guys to try to like
force their
their their
individual skill sets on
other people
and there’s a lot of them are
still around
today which is the most incredible
thing henderson
still around
today you know
randy still around
today randy’s
fighting in toronto
duties forty
eight who’s
gonna find my
cheetah he’s
fighting the cheetah
once he been
where’s he been though
he just fought rampage and lost a
close decision
that was the
first fight
after losing the
title yeah yeah
forever ago yeah he had a good
fight with rampage
it was real good
fight the first two
rounds were real
close and the
second round the other one
blitzkrieg rampage
dropped them got on top of them was a real
good real good
round for for liotto
but the first two
rampage in a lot of i
guess in the
judges eyes
edged them just edged them
although the
other one the
third in a pretty good
good margin
by good margin
it’s still rampage got the decision
and he won the
first two rounds by the judges
but it was real
close real close
first two rounds you know
right those are
ones are like this
the two for us
go either way then it’s like you don’t know
what’s happening
i think they decided that rampage was pushing
the fight as
the moves away
you know leo
does pretty
practical and
moves away but he still
punched the fuck out of people yeah
i don’t think many
many blows were really landed
clean blows the
first two rounds
then the third round
yoda really
but it’s just crazy that
randy is gonna be
fighting him at 48 years of age
you know he’s a nut
man guys doing
movies and he
still wants to get in the cage
those guys in the face it’s in the box
is the legitimate
top shelf guy
dude this ain’t yeah this ain’t
james tony he’s
gonna fight me machita
leo to machita
yeah you know machita is so fast with his hands
so dangerous
he knocked out
tiago silva
tiago silva is yeah when he was undefeated
yeah yeah they
knocked him out on the ground there’s both
blasting them
got them on the ground and put them away
bam let laser beam accuracy
knock them the fuck out
thiago’s a beast
you know that guy’s a big
tough gorilla
he’s really good
thiago some strong guy
the way he beat the shit out of
brandon bear yeah
beat him apart his nose was fit
that was the ugliest nose break i’ve ever seen
and he got released by the ufc record for that
well apparently
that releases in dispute now
and because thiago silva path
it had two urine
samples and one of them tested positive
so i think they’re like
they’re having another test
but there there
if if it comes in no contest
then brandon bear doesn’t get cut
wait they’ll uncut him
yes i thought they just cut people
because they
make a decision like you know what you’re not
i don’t think they can if you win
really the only
thing i think
that can if you win is if you violate some sort of
ethics code what if
they give like four or five contracts so i have
three or five contracts
but they have like
a certain amount of time i’m sure
i’m sure it’s
whatever it is
you know it’s
at the end of
those fights they can be like yeah we don’t want there
must be something that yeah
but there must be some option and if the
fighter loses
then they have an immediate option to cut them
because yeah because it’s almost always got to get cut
i mean i’m sure everybody’s contract is different
but with brandon
i mean if it becomes a no contest then he’s not
then it would
i i it might be
that contractually
he’s allowed to stay
it might be that because that’s not a loss
i like that that guy’s a cool guy
brandon’s a
great guy he’s a
great guy he’s
having a hard time man i don’t know what happened
somewhere along the line
some things
changed for him he was at one
point in time when he was
fighting as a
heavyweight man he was a killer dude
you know we were
talking about him in
heavyweight for a
while he smashed
frank meyer
he knocked out justin iowa
with a head kick
you know he choked out of suario
silva he was a
beast man he was a dangerous dangerous guy
but something happened
and you know he lost to tim sylvia and
broke his hand and then
lost a febreze super doom
and then he lost to john
jones the john
jones one was a big one
you know but you know either lost a few
fights already by the time that rolled around you know
so it’s this hard we lost to
keith jardine
at his first two
o five pound fight
so what happened there
did he lose to keith yeah
yeah jardine gets
me so pissed he just can’t get back to the usa
you cannot get back to it
yeah i mean guys he’s beating there are in it
you know jardine
i like that guy a lot
he’s quite a character
that’s one of the cool
things about the ufc is all the
weird characters you get to meet
you can get a person
if you’re just
fighting with mostly
you can get whatever kind of personality you want
yeah you don’t have to be corporate
yeah yeah like
donald’s her own
just a fucking weirdo yeah
those people are fucking cool weirdos yeah yeah
yeah he’s a cool cowboy that likes
apple products
he likes those are
cuters that you yeah look
control he’s really he’s
an interesting guy to me too because he’s so adaptable
you know he’s got a wicked
guard and wicked
stand up and it’s hard to take down
and when guys
take him down man he’ll fuck you up off his back
he’s dangerous off his back
there’s some guys you
get him down on the back and they just kind of hold on
you know they have a good defensive
guard maybe they can get up
maybe they could
again back up
but very few guys are really dangerous attacking off
their guard lexironius
it’s real dangerous
off his back you know who’s really good at it i saw a
fight in strike force
it was some like
lebanese dude
okay guard musasa
yeah he was attacking the fuck he was
punching up from his back
raise armenian
i mean whatever it is
you know i mean
yeah he’s punching off that i thought
i thought he was getting the better of that exchange
it’s funny you said that because that’s the
exact same discussion that i had with someone else
a very educated guy
recently who thought you know if you looked at it
i can’t believe it to him
he’s on his ground is bad but
on his back means you’re susceptible to things
not that it is bad but
you’d be more
susceptible you know boss root and won the
heavyweight
championship off his back
really well yeah
blasting kevin reynold
with elbows and
punches and
he couldn’t stop
random and from taking him down but
random and couldn’t
stop lost from fucking him up once he had him down
at the end of the fight
you know boss had
landed significantly more
stuff from his back and so the
referees and the
judges rather
gave it to him it was a big
point of controversy because a lot of people thought
kevin randall was on top he
should be winning
the boss is landing
all these shots
from the bottom yeah but it’s like let’s say let’s say
you have my back
okay which i’m in a really
position let’s you have that for four minutes of around
right and then you
cross your fucking feet and i do one of
those moves
where whatever that is
the foot lock
yeah it’s like
you lost i want yeah so it
doesn’t matter how long you were it’s like you can
say you had a dominant
position but show me
with a win or by beating somebody up scoring an
mma is a very
weird thing you need to get better at that that
annoys me as a fan yeah it does
annoy me too
there was this
nick ring and
ricky fukuta
fight this weekend was
particularly bad kuda
took nick ring
down every round what
what beautiful takedowns controlled top position did
an awesome job of
he’s a wrestler and he seems
doing an awesome job of utilizing his
skills and he got robbed and decision except
a lot of people booed
everyone went
crazy it was real bad one of the
worst ones i’ve seen when
judges are two
rounds off and that one like oh that
could round go either way not like that regular
round and when they’re two
rounds off from each
other it’s like
don’t the players have to know
going to third
round if this
is down one
thing this is one
another example of how badass dana white is
he gave the guy his win
bonus he did yes
gave the guys win
bonus that’s
like the guy got robbed
so we have both of my bonus yeah
yeah he gave
those men bonus
wow yeah i know he did that
once when somebody had to pull out i
think it was
the other armenia had to pull out of a fight
and so who’s so mad that he gave
his opponent
his win bonus
oh really he’s like it ain’t your
fault that he pulled out
right yeah yeah
yeah i remember that yeah like
panic attacks or something yeah
yeah there’s like that you get your
son it’s not your fault you should you can fight
it like that
yeah he’s a very
generous guy when it comes to that stuff it’s
cool to see you know
and he’s right you know that guy won man
you shouldn’t have
got fucked got fucked because these
judges are incompetent like
you’re fucking
his record up it’s not anything you can do about that
so many competent
judges man but i honestly
think they need to revamp the scoring system
we can’t just
leave it open to
subjective interpretation of what is more
worthwhile is it more
worthwhile to take a guy down or is it more
worthwhile to hit him with a jab
is it more you know
if you hit a guy with a jab
and rock him
and then he
shoots for a takedown gets on top of you and
doesn’t do anything
who wins that exchange i mean that’s a good question
i mean i think to me i
think it’s clearly the guy who
blasted you
and they got
taken down but then he took you down even if he’s not
beating you up
like that’s like
a failed submission attempt
does nothing to you
the trip wears you out a little bit
fighting off the rear
naked or something
but like true
well you have to
score it because the guy came
close close yeah
depends but you also have to be
skillful enough
to know what
close really means
because they’ll be
you know i’ll
see a guy when the guys try to get him in a kimora
i’ll say he’s not
gonna get or
he’s pulling in
yes go ahead and try but you’re
wasting energy i know when someone’s wasting energy
i mean i’m surprised
every now and then
but for the most time
most part i know as a
fighters that are
with the weak position no to like on safe here right
some judges don’t know that
some judges
would look at
that and go he almost got him with that guillotine
no we didn’t almost get him with that
i’m telling you
son we almost got him
he was proud
he had he was very close
guys good at that technique no
you have to be a someone
who actually
trains in jujutsu
and trains and
striking and it really
understands the
subtle nuances in
order to judge it
and i think
you know they
think that you can take
these people they
never even box they just
judge boxing and then
teach them how to judge
mma it’s like
there’s too much shit
going on they don’t understand
they’re not
gonna know near
submissions they’re not
gonna know when someone’s totally safe
they’re not
gonna know when someone’s doing a technique
wrong and the guys
never gonna tap
sometimes guys will get
like certain positions and they’ll yank on
a technique and i’m like this is like this
doesn’t work from this position yeah
it’s guys on the
wrong side or yeah
so but but the person who’s the judge
isn’t gonna know
they don’t know that guy’s
waste this time
that when i’m in a crowd
and somebody just laying the ground
like grabbing an arm and we’re just go
you like shut up
nothing you get
upset yeah you’re
super fan quit making me interested
ari’s a super fan
you’ve been in so many
ufcs dude whoop
yeah but it’s so many actually this is the
first one i actually skipped you’ve been the more live
ufcs as a spectator than i have man oh yeah
i got a chance to go to a few of them as a spectator
hilarious it’s true
yeah i don’t get the chance to see very many live
fights as a spectator
i only get to see
you know it’s for me it’s it’s all calling it and and
watching it it’s not the same
you know you can’t can’t get
drunk you can’t get
popcorn yeah you can’t
you know go out
the bathroom
you can’t talk
it sucks we don’t mind
if you talk
while the fights are
going on either because there’s so much action just
don’t stand up
it’s so fun too to
watch it in the audience
everybody’s in it together and everyone’s
cheering together
like no one
understands they do a
great job how
great the entertainment
value that is the
music they get
the everything
they don’t like
there’s nothing they don’t
cover there’s nothing i
would rather see
there’s no movie i
would rather see
that would take
place of me
going to see some live ufc
fights no way
the greatest
movie ever was like
come on man
so i think avatar is awesome
you know but it’s not anderson
silva versus vitar belfort
and i got to sit i got to
watch clay guida fight
diego sanchez
yeah and one of the best flights i’ve ever seen
sitting next to clegued is mom yeah
while i was on
edibles and it’s
and it was the the best fun i’ve ever had in a
fight i was on my knees go i got the fuck
that was at the palm to it was
real and that was the best
things we ever got
were front row
shit everywhere
yeah if you’re ever in
vegas and you’re
you want to go see some
fights in vegas
see the ultimate
fighter finalities
all the ones they do at the palms if you want to
that’s to me the best
experience you know
and if you go live
and the seats are really good
every seat is good every
seat above yeah it’s the best
place but a lot of times
doesn’t have the marquee name
fights though you know unfortunately but the
still it’s fun man
it’s fun to be it’s real intimate i like that intimate
show i like that 4 000 seats or whatever the hell it is
how many is it what do you
think that is
on four thousand four thousand
i don’t even know if it’s not
good online to get checked what a perfect decision
that place is
seats are set doesn’t go in most
places like the mgm mandalay whatever any stadium
yeah it goes back out away from the
thing yeah but this it only goes back like
thirty rows or so and then it goes to the next level
do katt williams does stand up there
yeah at least the limpanel i did too god damn
that’s a lot of the around i guess
is it no no because you know the pearl there’s like
a set up on the
stage so i’ll be backstage yeah that would be backstage
they’ll put curtains up
yeah dude that place is giant
wow what’s the biggest
crowd you ever performed in front of
i think it was this
las vegas crowd i think it was 1700
yeah i don’t think i ever did 1800 i
think we had 1800 seater but we didn’t fill it up yeah
where was that i think the more we got
1500 or something yeah
i think that was the biggest yeah
this vegas one was giant
i think about more than twice that is the palms
more than twice that
is what the pearl
more than twice the
mandalay bay theater
jesus the biggest
thing i ever did is the k rock
april foolishness show
i think that’s
like six thousand people six thousand it’s huge
it’s really huge
you know you get a little nervous for that yeah
so i guess a lot
of people that
might get excited
it was a lot of good people on the card too
jay moore was on bill
burr was on
sarah sudman
was on i’ve done it with patton
oswald i’ve done it with a lot of people you know
it’s it’s awesome man
it’s a it’s a fun show
and those guys are like huge fans of comedy
so they have all
these comics that come on the show all the time
so that the audience members totally get used to
these people
that’s the thing too i remember
reading about this in
a con essential last
laughs thing
just a live event
where they just talk
about whatever happened in the year as performers right
it’s way for them to make money but
i remember people
saying reviews of it and people saying how
funny david
cross was and how
funny carlsmanci it was
and it’s like
those are such varied
tastes like how
can be a fan because like people can
laugh at things
and someone
people say like shouldn’t like
the layer the
cable got same sort of
thing it’s like why the
fans like you and him
right so right
why should they not
right what’s
wrong with that they something
they’re into
well you know there’s always
gonna be a certain amount
of people that liked something that’s terrible it
doesn’t mean you have to be
upset by it
you know it’s
you choose what to be
upset by in life and
what people like
why would you be
upset by what it’s like
but you don’t do it with like
like oral taste
right if you like how you not like tomatoes
well some people
do though with meat man i’ve had a lot of
annoying motherfuckers who are
vegans who won’t
leave me alone
but it’s more of an
after all right
about eating meat
you know that’s why i’ve been saying that on stage like
i totally went
vegan because i
found out that if you don’t kill
animals they live forever and then they cure cancer
i’ve been saying that lately
lately on stage when i do my vegan character because no
because it’s fucking silly man these animals are
gonna die i mean i don’t believe in animal
cruelty but i think you know
you gotta eat animals that i guess
i get if you don’t think
that one’s right i totally don’t
think they should suffer i
agree with you on that
i’m in the game i’ve been buying game lately
it’s been a game
me like venison i love
going to restaurants and ordering venison
i found a place in
new zealand deer okay
deer and elk really good for you i have this theory
never had elk
that’s delicious reindeer elk is delicious
i have this theory
about animals that the animals that are tough to
catch are the ones that are really good for you
like fish fish are hard to
catch and they’re really like high
nutrition very healthy for you you know
unless they have mercury poisoning
from people in their fucking shitty pollution grain fed
grain fried is not
natural cows
it’s not natural for brain for them to be in grain
oh wait what is it when they’re off
when they’re all fat and juicy and marbley
like that that’s that
tastes good it
tastes awesome it’s good to cook on the grill
but that’s not normal for a cow
whichever one free range whatever it is
supposed to be
good for you like it helps
speed up your metabolism and like burnt fat
well free range beef is
grass fed beef
grass fed that’s it
yeah it’s much better for you
when you’re feeding animals
these grain
based diets
they’re only doing it to fatten up the animal
they only do it
and it’s funny because
there was a guy i talked
about this on the
podcast once and a guy who was a scientist emailed me
a really good description he actually works for
a chicken laboratory
and he explained to me how it all goes down
and he said that chickens
contrary to popular belief
it’s not hormones
you know chickens like if you ever
watch food anchoring
those documentaries they get
super huge and they can’t even walk
really it’s just
breeding they just
breed them to get that big
but with cows they pump cows full of all kinds of shit
they pump them up for all kinds of steroids oh really
and he said the
thing with antibiotics is
you’re supposed to like
say if your chickens
me need x amount of days to grow
but when you give them antibiotics you have to cut
like you can’t you’re not allowed to
bring them to
slaughter for like 20 days or whatever the hell it is
it’s got to work for
their system
so when people
are unscrupulous then they they’ll kill a chicken
even though they know that the antibiotics don’t exist
and then it can get in your system
and then you know hormones and all
sorts of other types of
things get your
system from beef and shit
same way it’s
weird people
reminds me of some steps
over park went to france to work on a
winery and they didn’t have enough
grapes to fill up all their
stocks that used
turpentine to
fill up the rest
because these
idiots they will not know
put the lock in
but yeah it’s a weird
thing it’s like
this it’s not
when people
when i grew up people said no you need only
grass fed be
really natural
it’s this idea like naturals better but sort of like a
zeni kind of thing
right spiritual
but it’s like
when you think
about it and
i saw this video it sort of
changed me a little bit
where it’s like no it is
different for your body one is good for your body
this type of beef that comes from grass fed
one is bad for your body that’s interesting i’ve never
heard that before i know it’s lean or protein they said
it helps speed it helps burn fat really
is it that raw almonds but they said not
baked almonds or salted almonds
only the raw ones huh
i need to look into that with
grass fed beef because i’ve
never heard that before but i
my theory about
game is always been that you know deer really hard to
catch elk are really hard to catch
and that like there’s a
great reward for
catching them they’re very
nutritious you know
it’s like a very lean and
high in protein and
i think fish in the same way i mean
i figured out how to catch fish
salmon in the wild are better for you than
salmon when it’s easier to
catch when you’re
sitting there
yeah this is the weirdest
thing they have a different color yeah
they have to put
in salmon they put dye in it to make it pink
because they’ve lost
their color the
light color
the live color that they get from being wild
wild as fuck out there killing minnows and shit
that’s the strong survival
for survival
that’s why they’re so good to
catch because
salmon are so fucking strong
that’s why they’re
so fun now they’re not just delicious
they fight hard you know
salmon fight
hard it’s awesome to
catch them we really got so
excited about
alaska dude we
should i love fishing man
fishing is fun as fuck
i used to love
rainbow trout fishing just you know similar to sam
they fight so hard man
we used to catch them all the time at
i forgot what’s the name of the
place jamaica pond
jamaica plains make a
plain massachusetts we go to jamaica
pond and catch rainbow trouts
fucking big ones too man it was fun
caught a big
brown trout there once was like three
pounds i was like holy shit wow
it was so fun
catching trout trout like
they’re such beautiful creatures trout and
salmon you know
magical colors to them you know
there’s that one fish that we were trying to
catch a time we went in anchorage we cut
salmon for a
while and then we’re supposed to
catch halibut
halibut which
is humongous
and that’s like it’s not like
i got one wait five minutes i got another one it’s like
you go after one
like a while
yeah they can be hundreds of
pounds yeah
and what you even
catch on a line and it’s
wrestling for
tiring them out
just break your line
that’s not crazy
that’s like
pull them out of the water yeah
and they’re delicious too halibut is delicious
you know there’s something about
catching something and then eating it i was in mexico
and cancun and i went to
we got on a boat
and caught these mahi mahi
and then they cooked them up literally
an hour after they were dead we were eating them
maybe two hours after that maximum and it was so good
the nick adams stories is this is hemingway
set of short stories that all sort of about him
but he talks about like he grew up like
on reservations like near reservations
i know the indians all the time
and he was talking about how
every fish he didn’t understand why
fish and fry them up immediately it was so much better
until by later in life he said that’s just the thing
yeah but yeah i guess it’s like
yeah the fresh
layers definitely
catch a trout and then cook it like
get a fire going and then cook it like
right after you catch it
i think fresh water is a lot better for that yeah
that’s a lot of
freshwater it’s very important to eat them fresh
they get gamey pretty quick i think saltwater
saltwater probably you have a little bit more time
maybe i mean maybe i’m just guessing
but salt water is so mysterious to me fresh
water is fun because you know there’s some great fun
fishes to catch like
largemouth bass and trout and stuff like that
but salt water is so
crazy because
you don’t know what the fuck’s out there you
know the ocean man
you know i mean you
might pull up a
grouper or something you know
a big giant bass looking
thing you know
especially if you’re in like florida
or somewhere tropical
holy shit you can
catch anything man
sharks you can
catch sharks
just see bass i mean there’s such a
huge variety
official came up like
twenty yards off our boat
jesus christ
killer whale or a
whale whale just well
twenty yards that’s so close
so close was little baby well but it was a dying thing
just kind of went up and splashed down but like that’s
right there we have our line the same waters happened
it’s weird that we distinguish them like like what’s
smart and what’s not smart
like whales like we discourage people from whaling
and one of the reasons
not just that they’re endangered people like you know
we feel like
you shouldn’t kill them like
they’re intelligent they’re closer to us yeah
in some way it’s
weird because
we have the opposite for retards
they shouldn’t
kill them because they’re not intelligent
it’s true only kill
and kill intelligent people
it’s good point
what is it about
whales in the japanese don’t give a fuck
they just kill the shit out of
like idiots
they’re not as
smart as us okay
relax yeah they’re not us
yeah they don’t fall into that at all dolphins or
whales they fuck dolphins up to yeah
didn’t see it either i
haven’t and i haven’t watched it i’m scared to
watch it because i know what it’s
about it’s all
about slaughtering dolphins
for game for
sport now they did tuna fishermen do it
you know they do it because the dolphins eat their tuna
right you know
i mean look at it
that way i see what they’re saying and they need these
tuna but god damn it’s so ruthless
i’ve seen some
videos online of them killing tunas
are killing rather dolphins are they just
going to talk
hang out and just fucking
start spearing
yeah well the
with the fitted footage that i seen is them cutting a
dolphin’s throat off
on a dock just slicing his
throat things
alive and it’s
dying and kicking and
bloods pouring out it’s really good luck
on the dock
hoisted it up
just got it this cut its neck open
vladimir it’s really hard to
watch man dolphin
meet me good
i don’t know i’ve
never heard of anybody eating it
i know they eat
whale shark
made i know
shark is delicious
alistair overran
eats shark shark and
horse meat horse meat
is that good
that’s always the
like it’s horse meat
filler well
not but is it good
you know alistair
says there’s a lot of protein in and it’s like you
sound strong
as fuck yeah
like you see a
horse racing in slow motion like those are
muscles that will
this just be there’s a
horse down the
street from my house
and it just sits in his yard
it barely moves
just stand still and then they take it for a ride
every now and then and this
thing is swole
yolked super
strong just
naturally super
strong not really
it’s always
in that cage
we think to look like that you
would think that
thing has to be at the gym all day you
but no it’s just
standing there just
giant rippling
shiny muscles
jesus i think we’re
right now it’s kind of late at night
unfortunately it’s
well we’re at 141 which is which means
yeah it’s 8 39
a lot of these people are going to sleep there’s
lights out around us and we’re being loud as fuck
so we will end this podcast on a plane
thank you everyone and ari
shafir’s new podcast will be called the skeptic tank
because of my love for shit
fan suggested it and because i like to
skeptically
think about subjects
hmm intelligent analyzation analysis whatever anyway
it’s connected to the death squad
podcast chain
that brian has put together so if you go to
deathsquad tv i
think brian has them listed up there is that what it is
deathsquad tv
and then he also a
deathsquad on itunes if you go
to itunes through your you know
to the itunes store
you know it’s for free and you can find the
death squad podcast and just find ari’s
and you can listen to those individually and
alright so that’s it folks thank you for tuning in
oh i have to thank the flashlight even though
i don’t have one here
and this is an impromptu podcast
they do sponsor us and we appreciate them
so go to flashlight com and we can
use that on the airplane bathroom
yeah i’d use an airplane bathroom
but i’d have to warm myself up before i did it and i
think that would stretches
i would have to be no i’d have to be like
three quarters hard at
least before i got out of my seat
you know and then
in walking to the bathroom i’d probably lose at
least half of that so it’s like
and then i’d have
to go in somehow with some sort of a bag hiding this
enormous flashlight
but yeah i would use it
i’ve jerked off in
bathrooms and
planes before
how many times
for a while it was a
sport for me i was trying
to see when they say we’re not flying over arkansas
like oh arkansas
don’t get over that
so i try to run to the bathroom you know
a little check
map everything
and on that note
so if you go to joerogane
net and click the link for
flashlight you can
put in the code name rogan and you get 15
off and we got a
bunch of podcasts this week
tomorrow which is
monday duncan
trussell will be on and then friday we got
brian cowan
and then next week we’re
gonna try to do ari and joey again
cause the last time we did it the
power went out
so that’s it
thanks everybody
thank you everybody that came out to
sydney we had a
great fucking time
yeah awesome
thank you very much guys
and holla at your boy love you bitches
this special
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experience like all of the episodes
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