the Joe Rogan Experience
brothers and sisters
lovers and children
Brian Redman and Eddie Bravo are in the building
what’s up hello
much respect to the Korean Zombie
Eddie Bravo is wearing a Korean Zombie shirt
and what this means for you
non MMA people
there’s a guy named Chan Sung Jung who’s the
they call him the Korean Zombie
that’s his nickname
and this weekend
on Saturday night at the UFC against Leonard Garcia
he pulled off the first twister ever in the UFC
and the significance
of course is that Eddie Bravo
our guest today actually invented the twister
no I didn’t invent it
well you invented the wrestling setup
the setup the setups
yes the finishing move
no you call it wrestling mode
but people used to finish people with it in wrestling
you can but did they do it your way
with the S grip on the forehead
I thought that was all
like your your innovation to turn into a submission
uh no no no
people were cranking
I don’t know if they were cranking it
exactly the way I crank it
but I’m pretty sure
did you had you seen other people get submitted with it
before you ever started doing it
we would like to
in high school
I wrestled a couple years
and I wrestled in Santa Ana High
and in 9th grade
a guy named Jesse Barrios
and another guy
his buddy is the one who showed me
I can’t remember his name
I couldn’t even remember it for my book
but Jesse Barrios is his friend
Santana High School 1985
if anybody out there is from that
there’s Jesse
vario’s friend
the other leg rider on that wrestling team
fuck I don’t know what his name was
anyways he showed it to me
and both of those
and in wrestling
leg riding is for weak people
and all that means is is we need
we’re so weak
we need to use our legs
a lot more than the big
strong dudes who were wrestling
and and hitting the weights
and had big chest and shoulders
those guys really didn’t rely on their legs
as much as the weak guys like me
I would skip rest
weightlifting practice
I was in the back
where I was hiding
I was weak even back then
I was a terrible athlete
I’ve never been a great athlete
so I had to rely on using my legs
and I thought you know
they came to me
Jesse came to me
and I go dude
you’ll be perfect for this
you know because they knew I’d just get smashed
if I try to go
a heads up with people
so it’s a pinning move
that I learned in wrestling and
I got I got pretty good at it
I would that was my shit
even in high school
that was my
that was the thing
I always tried
I got some cool ass stories that maybe one day
I’ll talk about them
but I have some cool wrestling stories
but anyways I sucked at wrestling
I only had one take down 2 fucking years I sucked
so I just totally relied on leg riding and
and using the it’s actually called the guillotine
it’s actually not called the twister
it’s called the guillotine
but when I started doing it in jiu jitsu
Higgin Machado
and Jean Jacques Machado would just call it the twister
because the guillotine already existed
there’s a lot of people out there that
that think that I’d like took this wrestling move
and I said I’m gonna try to fool the world
and change the name and say I invented it
there’s thousands of people that think that
it’s hilarious
in my books
from day one
I it was it was the
you’re being a little bit modest
because you invented all these setups
and turned it into a very high percentage finish
yes you invented a lot of setups
from a lot of different places
where it became
I mean none of that stuff existed
but this is the transition
so I ended up quitting wrestling the
work the work ethic
you need to be a good wrestler
something that is just not in my body chemistry
I was not made to work really hard physically
I just I hated work
regular jobs
I knew that’s why it was all about Rockstardam
or playing football
I just wanted to be
like a famous dude who just played for a living
and got paid and was a fucking adored by everybody
that’s what I wanted
I didn’t want to work
I hated work
of course who doesn’t want oh my God
work actually killed me inside
so it drove my artistic side
so once I realized that Mexicans don’t play football
I’m like oh my God
I was in 9th grade
and I was the slowest motherfucker out there
and that was it
you know I had these dreams of playing football
or making into music
that football was crushed in 9th grade
once everyone starts growing
you know what
Junior All Americans American and peewee football
that’s fucked up
I played defensive lineman and middle linebacker
in football
I actually thought I was gonna be a defensive lineman
and a middle linebacker
because when you’re 8 and you’re 9
everyone’s the same size
and you know
there’s some brainwash going on
that really thought I was gonna be a football player
I really thought I was
until 9th grade
shit oh man
when I was in 6th grade
I was supposed to make the football team
cause in my neighborhood
in my neighborhood
I was pretty
I was a pretty good football player
around Mexicans from like
a really poor neighborhood
I was pretty badass
but when you go to school
when you go
when I went to 6th grade
and in junior
all American
when you know football
peewee football
I was pretty
I was pretty good
but once people start growing and start changing
in 6th grade
I went to 6th grade
and I didn’t make the football team
they cut me
I was supposed to be the football star from the
I was so embarrassing
but it was flag football
it wasn’t tackle
so in my head
I’m like wait till 9th grade
when I get to high school
i’mma play some tackle
i’mma show you
what the fuck’s going on
so that’s what I was thinking that
I go fuck this year
fuck 6th grade
so 7th grade
I transferred myself to a far
a school far away
that I only went to cause
there’s another story
there’s more stories
where I was driven away from my junior high school
so I went to another school
tried out for the football team
in the 7th grade
I got cut again
but it was flag football
but I was so embarrassed
that I told
I told my friends growing up
all my kids
I told them that
yeah I made the team
second string quarterback
but you know what
I got in a fight
so they had to cut me
man it sucks
that’s the story
I told them
I told the kids that
I grew up with
thought I made the team
but I got cut
because I got in a fight with a dude
that’s hilarious
I kept that going
that’s so I was so embarrassed
that I didn’t make the team
I was so embarrassed
and then in the 8th grade
one of my the guys that I grew up with
went to that school too
he made the team
he was awesome
I didn’t make the team again
he never brought up the fact that
he never asked anybody
didn’t he make the team
last year that
never got brought up
they never humiliated me
maybe they were talking behind my back
like like I don’t know
I No one ever brought it up
but I did lie about it
and I’m coming clean with it
now I totally lied about it
don’t you think for dudes
that competition like that
any kind of competition
whether it’s football
or wrestling
or anything
is it so important for kids
and they’re growing up
to know how hard it is
if you really wanna get good at something
oh yeah yeah yeah
you gotta tell Mexicans
listen if you’re Mexican
and you think you’re gonna be a football player
look at reality
listen to me
look at reality
there’s not that very
there’s one Mexican
and he plays quarterback
you think you’re gonna be him
get out of get out of football
get that shit out of your head
if you’re Mexican
unless you got some tall motherfuckers in your family
there’s a couple Mexicans out there
but what are the odds
can go ask us
could easily made it
as a maybe maybe
you think maybe
dude that could
there’s a lot more than just being an athlete
everybody’s an athlete
in football
you gotta have some serious skills
and serious magic
yeah he could have just been a really strong
athletic guy there
look at Matt Mitchell
strong and athletic
not Mitchell
is a fucking athlete
right you know
he didn’t so
do you think that
if those guys
came over to the UFC
those super athletes
those NFL dudes
do you think that
like that’s what we’re seeing with
like John Jones
because that’s the talk
that you know
John Jones has 2 brothers
I believe that
are playing
football right now
I mean yeah
that’s incredible
I mean he’s a
super athlete
and there’s dudes that are
super athletes
that are in maybe
other sports
and we’re starting to see him in the UFC
that’s like
a big topic of discussion
like how much
of a difference does like
serious athleticism make
it makes a huge difference
hell yeah John
Jones has been
a fucking doing
he’s been doing
mixed martial arts
for only 3 years
before that
he was a wrestler
I mean that’s incredible
we’re gonna
you know what
it’s already
happened in boxing
just look at
what happened
with boxing
culturally look
what happened
it’s interesting though
that football
and I guess
it’s just where
the money is
that the high money ones
like football
and basketball
they get the best athletes
yes I mean even though
the ufc’s been
around now for
you know since 93
it’s not been like
a real accepted you know
mainstream thing
but for like
the last 5 or 6 years right
wouldn’t you say
yes yes you know
it’s the super athletes that start
jiu jitsu early
wrestling their whole lives
and striking early
they put it together
like the Ruff o brothers yes
it’s the best athletes that start off
like the Ruff o brothers
you know I mean
it’s some people can start off with jiu jitsu
in wrestling and striking early
and achieve so much physically from it
but still they weren’t born with the athleticism
you know what
I mean you gotta be a natural
it’s gotta all come together
you gotta have all the pieces together to make it
in the big sports that we see today
I mean like
you can’t start playing football when you’re 22
and make the NFL
if you do it may have happened once or twice
some African guy
I don’t know
it may have happened
you know what I mean
you know one of them
Matumbo Mckenbey
guys that started playing basketball for 18 months
and he’s in the NBA
you know what I’m saying
every now and then
you get those freaks
but generally
98 of the time
look at what’s going on with all the sport
did they just go and find that dude and say hey
you want to play basketball
I don’t even know
I’m just picking
it up how weird is it
one of those dudes
one of those dudes
I’m sure minut
bowle accumbie matumbo
I can’t even say his name
but one of those dudes
I’m sure started playing basketball late
do you imagine what it must be like
living like Manute Ball
it’s like you’re living in dollhouses everywhere
everywhere you go
they’re dollhouses
everyone’s building is built for dolls
you have to hunch
everywhere you go
at what height
not naturally for girls
for girls taller
guys naturally
the taller you are
the more attractive
you are naturally
but what what
exactly what
size 6 8 6 7
does it become a turn off to girls
cause there must be a turn off point
or are they turned on by guys that are 7ft 3 do that
does a guy a girl
look at a guy 7ft 3
and it’s totally attractive
at least 7ft 3 so rare
I love him so much
or is it like hmm
that’s too tall
I don’t like them that tall
it’s ridiculous
yeah you know what I mean
what is it well
they would also worry
I think evolutionarily about that
is this real
is that a real word
about the baby
getting too big inside of them
and get stuck
coming out of their pussy
and just blow it all out
if you got a 7ft 3 dude
imagine how big is fucking babies are
if it’s half his baby
you know you got a 15
£20 baby inside your hooker you know
what I will say this though I am not attracted to do
like that I’m not attracted a real tall chicks I’m just
yeah that you know and especially when they get fucking
ridiculous of a girl 6ft one
usually they
gotta be they gotta have really pretty faces and
usually their bodies start to
get out of whack you know what I mean it’s just like
but I have looked at big tall ass
chicks and when you see him in public
the thoughts will race through my mind like damn
that’d be nice just to pump a load into her and
see what my baby would see what my boy
would turn out like you know what I mean
how proud would I be of that fucking kid
you know what I mean he’s 6ft 3 and that’s my son
can you imagine
he’s 6ft 5 and that’s my son and he’s beating ass
tod Duffy looking dude oh that’s my son
that’d be cool dude how cool would that be
imagine that’s
what you look for in a girl that’s how you who cares
what she looks like
I mean just
keep on 2 conversations of the same
imagine that’s how you
found girls that’s like how you went to go
date girls just by looking at them as a
mother to a
child I like a
super athlete like you only
wanted that’s what um
that dude who Zulu
remember Zulu
the guy who fought Hicks and Gracie
he has this
story about
the way he described it
was a large negress
and that he knew
that she would make
great babies for him
so he found her
and he described like
what he did
how he shot loads into her
to make a boy
that he knew that
the way he was doing it
was definitely
to make a boy
he had some method
and then Zulu came out
dude I would pay 50 bucks
it’s a great story
I would pay
50 bucks right
now if you said
I got the DVD
the documentary
of that I would go
I’ll give you 50
bucks for that
I would even go
75 bucks but
I’d go your
that’s a lot
but God damn it
I’ll still pay for it
that’s an awesome story
imagine how much of a pain in the ass it must be
if you’re a kid
and your dad
was some fighter
and you’re supposed to be a
fighter too
you like goddamn
really I can’t
just have fun
I can’t just go
hang out no
I gotta go in a
fight oh shit
or like any Zulu
like his son
his son didn’t
really seem like
he wanted to be
doing that right
you know I mean
it’s almost
like I mean
you almost have to
if your dad is
Zulu you know
your dad is this
famous guy who got in
a bare knuckle cage fight
with fucking
Hicks and Gracie
back in the day
yeah maybe he
maybe he wasn’t into
and he kind of
got just like
you know what
I don’t want to work
a regular job
I got a name
I can actually fight
but he did do
jiu jitsu though
he was all right
as you didn’t
he was like
a purple belt
back when he fought
so he was doing
jiu jitsu so
in a weird way
Zulu like jiu
jitsu beat Zulu
but zulu’s son
was into jiu jitsu hmm
that’s pretty
cool right yeah
do you remember that
Hixon Gracie footage
for those who don’t know
hixon vs Zulu
is one of the very
very first like
no rules fights
you know that was
like where they
planned it out
they had a whole arena full
people in Brazil
checking this out
and a young
Hicks and Gracie
he was like 18
I think he was
a representative
of jiu jitsu
fought this giant
super athlete
black dude named Zulu
and this guy’s just yoked
he’s just slamming him
and Hicks and eventually
gets his back
and strangles him
and it’s one of
those all time
great videos
where people
watch it like
jujitsu guys
back in the day
he was like
this is proof
man this is
proof like look
if you get a good jiu jitsu
you can overcome
a guy like this
and he’s only 18
it was like
a big fucking deal
and the footage is so bad
but it looks cool
it’s like 50th generation
all that footage
it’s dudes taping it
off VHS somehow
I got the DVD
and then a copy
and it already
started off as
terrible footage
now it’s like
like silhouetted
kind of it’s
like a yellow
and black and orange
type thing but
it’s classic
one of the coolest
things that
I ever got out of
being famous
was I got to have
dinner with Hixon
that was one of
the coolest
things ever
I had dinner with Hixon
and then we went
over his house
and we watched fights
and he broke down
what dudes were doing wrong
he was watching
Mario Sperry
fight in Coliseum
and he was just talking
about space
he was talking about
I give no space
I give no space
he was talking
about so like
such an intense dude
you know like
he was talking about
you know like
his philosophy on jujutsu
very simple
we started 0
and from 0 we’re
going to one
and we’re not
going back to 0
and then from one
we’re going to 2
2-3 to checkmate
that’s where we’re
going to go
I was like god damn
you get the chills
talking to him
like I’m sitting here
talking to Hixon
motherfucking Gracie
and he’s giving me like
some intense
life philosophy
on how he strangles dudes
you know he’s like
he’s into it
you know when we were
watching all
these fights
he’s breaking
the shit down
and he watched
the Funaki fight
with him and Funaki
those Hixon
fights man god
I wish there were
more of them
so annoying man
so annoying
that you don’t
get to see the
the best supposed
representative
ever of jujitsu
at the time
fighting those
guys you know
finding all
Mark coleman’s
and you know
all the fucking guys
that everyone
was scared of
Mark her and
all that shit
how fascinating
would that have been
man yeah fuck
that would have
been awesome
damn that would
freak me out
it really would
it would freak me out
to sit and hang out with Hicks and Gracie
he’s cool as fuck
that would freak me out
he’s a super nice guy
his son is cool as fuck
nobody else in jiu jitsu
they would freak me out like Hixon
you know what I mean
marcella Garcia to me
marcella Garcia is the number one jiu jitsu guy
that’s ever lived
I think Marcella Garcia
is the number one guy that’s ever lived
you know but Hixon would is the most
mystical and rock star ish
yeah you know what I mean
he’s like motherfucker
was an Incredible Hulk
you know what I mean
you know the Incredible Hulk with Ed Norton
when Ed Norton
is learning how to calm and control himself
Hicks and Gracie slapping him in the face
that’s that’s the man
yeah I would freak out if if
if like me and Hixon would just sitting there
talking to jiu jitsu
I mean it’s not out of the question
that might happen in the future
for sure it might
it might not
I would love it
I would that would be a fucking dream of mine
to hang out and talk jiu jitsu
and break shit down to the core
for the people who don’t know the history
Eddie Bravo tapped hixon’s brother
Hoyler and Abu Dhabi 2003
and this giant upset when Eddie was a brown belt
and he caught him with a triangle
so there’s like this perceived animosity sometimes
because of that
but there’s none exists
you’ve never been anything
but respectful of any of those guys
you know it’s just there’s
I know that they were trying to do some sort of
a rematch with you and Hoyler
but yeah I guess that was what would happen
is a promoter called or emailed me last
October right
October or November
and it was a guy that I’ve done privates for
I know who he is
and he’s really high up in jiu jitsu in the Middle East
in Abu Dhabi
and they’re putting together
they were putting together a No Gi
World Championship in Abu Dhabi
they never had a No Gi one
they’re doing Gi World Championships out there
but the No Gi ones
they wanted to have one in April
and they asked me if they wanted to have me and Hoyler
as a super match
but they never contacted him
they told this is what happened
then I emailed him back
and I’m like
you know me
I’m down to rematch Hoyler anytime
I’ve always been down
I’ve never been the one denying it
I want one more match
any other fighters
still working on my music
you know there’s
there’s a lot
of stress but it’s all good stress there’s so much
going on there’s so much on my
plate right now there’s so much shit that i’m doing
you know if i’m
gonna put that all to the side
we’re off the air
yeah yeah you
stream crash
you stream you
dirty bitches back on now
you stream silly
they can’t get this shit together
yeah it’s it’s
i know one of
the biggest problems people have been having lately the
uh where you’re trying to
watch it back and it stops
and then starts back up
again then stops what’s that from
it’s uh they’re
adding new servers they’re
switching the
servers to new servers so that
should be fixed
pretty soon
complaining this is all free your
dream is fun i mean it’s it’s a nice
most the time we concentrate on the
audio version of this thing but
but i don’t mind yes
you should turn
on i think it’s
fine just when
eddie hides from the
bottom line is i’m down
anytime to that
i’m not the one turning it down
eddie i saw you
do your live show your
music a couple
sundays ago and i have seen you i
think all the last
three or four
times you’ve done the viper room and this last time
fucking amazing man you guys have really tightened
your ship and it was really
entertaining like it was
pretty legit
this time that last time around
thank you very much
the secret was
you grease the
sound guy and the
stage manager 100
bucks each and they
treat you like
royalty exactly they really made it
sound really good getting
usually those guys get paid 10 an hour
they’re like next
another fucking shitty band another shitty band
they’re just like not feeling it
at all they don’t want to hear anything yeah it was a
perfect day but
that 100 that wakes
their fucking
asses up yeah
that was good man
it does you guys
gotta stay alive
it’s like tipping
a stripper a hundred
bucks that’s deep
you tip a stripper a hundred
bucks you’re
gonna take her to her maximum
whatever that maximum is
you tip a stripper
100 bucks she’s
gonna go to the maximum
absolutely that she can get away with at the club yeah
are you doing that
like on a regular basis now are you
gonna be doing it
every month and a half two
months or anything
we’re just playing and having fun and writing
music and just producing shit
you know we got a lot of fucking new
stuff it’s taking forever to put this together
cause i’m a busy
motherfucker
right i wish i
could i moved closer to my recording
studio i just
moved to sherman oaks
the reason was to get closer to that
studio cause i need
now start shit’s
pumping you know i got a couple songs on the
never back down to soundtrack
one of them’s the theme
song dropped is the theme song oh really yeah i
never gonna
use they were gonna use
originally the
jiu jitsu song
they thought i mean when michael j
white the producer
heard that he wanted that as a theme song
right away like
like that second we
gotta get michael j
white in here
yes yes he was
sure he’s awesome he’s a great guy
he was you know who he is who is
tyson in that
movie tyson and
spawn too yeah spawn
super fucking
cool guy like one of the most down normal guys you
could ever hang out with
just so like
but like no bullshit he’s got like no bullshit
about him yes you know what i mean like
super like even normal
cool dude yeah
like the guys like
he’s a movie star man i mean he’s
he’s fucking
spawn you know
but you’re hanging out with him he’s like totally cool
totally normal you know
it’s got some
great fucking stories been a lifelong martial artist
he fights kyokus in
tournaments
still yeah he
still goes in there in
those fucking bare knuckle
punch the check
chest leg kick head kick
tournament dude michael zhang
is no joke no joke dude i mean he no
biggie is huge
he’s like six foot
three six foot four
235 pounds of
super super
i mean and he’s explosive
i mean holy shit
i mean the stuff he does
that he does some like never back down to
first of all never back down one
as if you don’t know is the first
mma movie to go mainstream that was the biggest mma
movie to date but it was terrible
they made it into like the fast and the furious mma
and it was terrible
but the one thing i remember anything is
these days right
everything seems to have the same sort of tone to it
these young
is like they’re letting you know and like
these fast and furious
never back down
any of those kind of movies
they’re letting you know we’re
never gonna get real deep like we’re all just
we’re agreeing to this
right off the bat what it is is like a music
video what it is is
the people that can make movies and put them right in
the guys that have that power
they really don’t know that much about
mma they just got into it
and they’re like i’m gonna make an mma
movie i’m gonna make them
fighting movie man
like this tap out stuff
and they’re the guys with the power
they’re not gonna let the guys that
could really put together an authentic mma
movie how are they gonna get their movie
this movie company can only
is only pushing
three movies a year
this one’s only pushing ten
you know what i mean you’re
gonna get yours on that spotlight
well someone did
and obviously there were a bunch of
knuckleheads that put that movie together the first one
the first one’s really bad
the story is always like the new guy in town
you know he’s really handsome
and all the
other guys that are bad guys in town
there’s gotta be hot
chips sure oh
and he meets the
girlfriend and you know the guy
doesn’t treat her good and this new guy does and
it’s the same formula with a
we could do a
scary movie
we can do an
mma movie now we need to do a race car
movie with that
we’re gonna do a dancing
movie where they like
dance off same
story though
it’s the same guys
the guys with the
green light
power they’re not idiots
they’re not
they just don’t know the
sport that well that’s a
they don’t know how
the little things that an mma
expert can just like
pick it apart
like the little
things like they’re
fighting and
they’re fighting in like in the circle of people
standing like
this it doesn’t happen you know
what i’m saying
when steven
seagal had become really
famous they started
like a search
like different
studios were having
searches of martial artists
all across the country find the next steven seagal
and so they met with me in new york
and i don’t remember what
studio it was
about but i
said the number one problem with martial arts
movies is that a real martial artist is
gonna look at that shit
and go that’s not real
that can’t happen
that’s unrealistic and they were like
he got arrogant with me they’re like that’s
ridiculous no
who’s gonna know you and like a few
other people
believe me it
doesn’t matter yeah yeah it does
get arrogant
he was really arrogant
about it i’m like i’m telling you
as a person like
if you’re a guitar player okay and you’re
watching some fucking
movie about the
buddy holly
story and there’s a guy playing guitar
and you know he’s not really playing guitar
that would drive you
crazy if you saw some guy
and he’s doing this and the
music is coming out but you know this
motherfucker is not playing that music
that’s the game plan
as a musician
wouldn’t that
drive you fucking nuts totally you
could pick that out yeah i
was crazy yeah
they always
check the technique
yeah and i was telling
these guys i’m like look
there’s some badass shit that you can do that’s real
that really does work and i can show you
i can show you some badass shit that really works
but all this
flying double scissor
kick two dudes at the same time that’s
silly nonsense
this is silliness
yeah like you’re doing silly
stuff i remember walking out of
never back down one going
okay it sucked but at least
they got the
mainstream used to armbars and triangles and at
least they got them
used to looking at
fights movie big movie
fights do you
remember there’s a triangle in an armbar that’s kind
of lethal weapon
whore yeah that
was a triangle yeah corey
and gracie was a
fight coordinator for lethal weapon
but in movies like that you see
stuff like that
every now and then sprinkled in but
like in and
never back down
they explained it they’re
training it it’s like a new
like a secret weapon so they
focused on it like an
lethal weapon he
gets him in a triangle but they didn’t say wow
look what he’s actually doing at the brain
most people
didn’t even know that was a technique they’re like oh
he had him between his legs
like they don’t even see the technique you know i can’t
think triangle without
thinking about
rampage jackson and
arona whenever anybody even mentions the word triangle
all i think
about is that fight
because that
was the craziest end to a triangle attempt ever
yeah rampage picked him up like a pillow and
slammed them
do you remember we were over here
watching that shit
do you remember how
scary that was
that was scary
look if you put that in a
movie you would say bullshit
that could never really happen
but you know what i mean
it hasn’t happened since and
you said this i’ll
never forget you said ooh
he might be dead
yeah we were
watching this and you went oh he
might be dead like
that was the cra if you’ve
never seen that slam
he’s trying to get
arona is trying
to get rampage in a triangle and rampage defends it
by picking him up over his head
and slamming them down full
force onto the ground and then head butting him
they collided heads accidentally just from the impact
it was a double wham
but if that
would happen on concrete
he would have been a vegetable
if he was lucky
you know what i
mean he was
lucky he was
you’re probably
gonna be dead but if you’re a vegetable like damn
yeah at least you kept him alive
that’s how hard his head
hit his head
it would have
exploded i wonder
i wonder if that’s affecting his career now and oh
for sure it is
you think unquestionably that was a fucking violent
knockout man
that was an unbelievably violent knockout
and then right
afterwards so
could you knocked him out remember
so that was two in a row
you know when you get bombed out like that
so could you one was brutal too man
so could you out of the gate you remember how
scary that guy was out of the gate
out of the gate
knocks out noguera
hogerio noguera
and then arona two in a row
and does it like he’s just gonna
steamroll everyone yeah
looks like a mad destroyer
jesus and and then someone told me you
gotta watch
a fight of his
against glover to shera
you know who was one of the guys from
chuck’s camp
from sll do you remember that guy
yeah big really
strong light
heavyweight but he had like visa problems i think
but a really
scary dude dangerous dangerous dude and
he fought sokojo and broke him
he fought socojo
and stopped him with strikes
and then you know that this was all
after that that was apparently
early early on
he said something like one of
those guys that almost
maybe got thrown into the deep end too
quick yeah it’s
never too late for so
could you so
could you just focused on
on getting really good at jujutsu and not and not
end up like
one of those fighters
you know one of
those olympic
wrestlers that
never learn jujitsu you know
if he falls in love with jujitsu
continues to progress with the striking
he’s gonna be a
force but he’s
if he doesn’t
learn jujutsu if he
doesn’t fall
in love with jujutsu his chances are very slim of
getting to the top
it’s real weird when you see you know
you always like to say well
there’s certain amount of losses a
fighter has and then they’re done
but every now and then there’s a guy who comes
along that just defies
that shit that like loses a
bunch of times but then gets it together and then
starts winning
jorge santiago
he’s a good example of that
anderson silva was just running the mill
leota machida
for a few years
that were like ah he’s all right
so the fighters
right now that you
think yeah but i mean i’m talking
about losses i’m talking
about bouncing back from losses
machita you know only
bounced back from the
shogun loss
but like alistair
alistair overran
i think he’s been stopped nine times
bobby hoffman stopped him you know
he got submitted by verdoom
haratanoff stopped him
chuck stopped him
a lot of guys stopped him
and if you looked at him on
paper with all
those stoppages you
would say well how is this guy ever
gonna be the best
but then you look at him now
shit he’s one of the best man yeah
and his jiu
jitsu is good
he’ll kill you with a yeah
and his his
striking is
no one’s close
that motherfucker is the
strike force
grand prix champion
and or the excuse me the k1 grand prix
champion and
the strike force
champion and the
dream champion and
who the fuck
has ever been able to do that do kickboxing
at the highest
level and mma
the thing that saves
ovary is that
he mastered the guillotine
anybody try to take him down
you gotta take him down i mean
most people aren’t
gonna try to
stand with them there’s
gonna be a couple
you know brave
motherfuckers out there that try to
stand with them
there will be an
mma but usually
they’re gonna try to take him down
they got to
worry about that guillotine yeah his guillotine’s
death he’s fucking cemented
veto over there
this is good
and his ground game is good too because his brother
valentine ovarimu
he hasn’t had
a successful
career as of yet he’s
still fighting
but he’s a real
smart guy and is in love with
jiu jitsu valentine
ovarim’s jiu
jitsu is really really good and that’s his brother
so it’s rubbing off on him because
overream i was to one
he run the abu dhabi european
trials didn’t he
something like that i
don’t quote me on it but i know
his jiu jitsu is good
that’s the key
all you guys out there i know i
never fought
but in my opinion i’ve been in the business
getting paid
since 2000 that’s a getting
paid watching
fighters come and go
watching fight camps come and go
meeting all
these guys and get to i’m like i’m
experiment like i go through
their lives
and it’s never too late
to get your career together
you have to fall in love with jiu jitsu
of course you need like the mental
state together
you gotta have
you can’t you know have a fragile ego
and you gotta
you gotta have a warrior’s mind
but if you have a warrior’s mind you love to
fight you love to
train you have a
great work ethic
please fall in love with some jiu jitsu
fall in love with it
then you become dangerous on the ground a wrestler
who is not interested
in learning how to take people out
that’s like a
basketball player not interested in like
shooting the ball
i just wanna
dribble i’m just
gonna dribble
i don’t need to
shoot the ball i’m just
gonna dribble look at me i’m a
great dribbler
yeah your dribbling is awesome
you gotta get good at closing the show making some
points how could you be a
wrestler and not be in love
with choking necks
fall in love with it
study marcelo garcia
he’s got a website 30
bucks a month if you’re in
mma right now
and you’re not
studying marcelo garcia
you’re behind the times
he’s the number one guy in
jiu jitsu number one and no gi
jitsu no one’s better than him
if you’re an
mma fighter
fall in love with
marcella garcia that’s a
great start
jeff glover
another great
start if you
fall in love with jeff glover and
marcella garcia
bone both of them
you know what i’m saying
and bless of course you
some dude just likes to stand
yeah that’s good too but
you’re gonna go so far
in what i’ve seen
working backstage at all
these goddamn shows for
the ufc for
eight years
that’s what i see
i see the guys come and go
come and go
and the main
thing at the very top
at the very top
even if you’re a brazilian jiu jitsu
black belt and you won the moondials a
bunch of times
what i see i see
the prelims for the last
eight years
a lot of people don’t see
what’s going on in the prelims
just getting signed if you’re
under 170 and you get signed to the ufc
that doesn’t mean shit you
gotta get through the prelims to get to the main card
you know how many
fights you gotta win to be
on the main card and your 170
pounds they’re
gonna put you on the main card
you gotta win more than two
fights and you better be exciting
so getting signed to the
ufc is like
and i’ve used this before
it’s like those turtles that
they’re born they’re hatched in the
yeah you’re born yeah you’re
alive but now you got to get past the seagulls
and all the
crabs attacking you good luck making it to the ocean
the main card
good luck it’s really hard
my point is
i see a lot of guys come and
never make it to the preli
there’s been a lot of brazilian jiu jitsu
black belts out there
i don’t wanna say any names
a lot of them coming through
and they just get
smashed by wrestlers no one ever sees it
no one ever talks
about it it’s not on the
underground
and they just disappear
there’s been a lot of them
there’s been guys that rise and are stars like
charles oliveira
and that rocha guy i like
those guys i want them to
you know their
submissions look
slick no gi
but there’s a lot of guys
that get they can’t get
to the main card because they couldn’t get past the
elite wrestler
even though they were a black belt
in the ghee
they’re on their back
the guard is okay sometimes
things catch
but overall
i see a lot of guys lose decisions because
they’re on their back
against some average
college wrestler
they couldn’t get passed by
i see that a lot
that’s what i’ve seen
unless i unless i
dreamed it or it’s
like i’m having delusions
that’s what i thought i see
i see a lot of guys come through
they don’t have the answer for the
elite wrestler
if you haven’t
wrestled your whole life
if you haven’t
wrestled your
whole life guess what
most of the guys at the top have wrestled
and you better have the answer for them that’s your
worst nightmare you better be
training for that wrestler
right now because that’s what you’re
gonna hit and
every year more and more
wrestlers are quitting
their job at fucking home depot
and they’re
watching the
ultimate fighter
going i could be
famous too i
wrestle twenty
three years
fuck this life they got
three kids they hate their wife
there’s a lot of
these guys coming they’re coming
they want to be
famous too there’s a new celebrity in town
and it’s the
mma fighter
and these guys they’re a
bunch of them the judo guys are
going should i
could do it too
i almost went to the olympics in judo
there’s all
these guys coming out
what are you
gonna do to them
these guys are used to being on top they’ve been
wrestling since
you’re gonna
start wrestling now if you
haven’t wrestled your
whole life your
guard better be amazing it better be ninja
when they talk
about your guard you
think you’re
gonna make it to the top of mma
and you haven’t
wrestled your whole life
if they’re not talking
about your guard like it’s fine
fucking phenomenal so dangerous stay away from his
guard it’s amazing
if they’re not saying that
about your guard
your chances are slim that you’re
gonna get past the
elite wrestler
cause you’re not
gonna be on top for sure
and it’s a 50 50 beat em strike
if you beat em striking
you know you
might win a few
these new young guys man all of them are
super equipped
like this michael
mcdonald kid that fought this weekend you see that
fight i didn’t see that
fight oh my
god what a fight
edwin figueroa
michael mcdonald they fought at a hundred and
forty five prelim
one forty five or one
thirty five i
think it was one
forty five forgive
me if i’m not sure yeah it was one of the prelims
it aired on like facebook or you know one of
those things
maybe a spike i
think it was facebook though
this fucking kid is
super talented dude
super talented and both of them are the figueroa
took the fight on six days notice and cut
twenty pounds
to to make the weight
class i’m pretty sure was one
thirty five
either way um
uh figueroa cut all this
fucking weight and uh was getting his ass kicked in the
first round
but then just gutted it out and
starts going
after him in the
second round and the
third round dude it was just a
crazy fucking fight
but this kid
mcdonald had him in
a triangle armbar combination he had his back he just
it was it was sick sick display of
striking and
jiu jitsu together
at least fucking 20 years old man
all these new guys that are coming up they can do
everything they can wrestle
they can do
jiu jitsu they’re good off their back
they’re all good off their back
that you have to be
that’s the next
stage there’s no getting past that there’s no way
ultimately being
having an average
guard like most
typical mma
fighters just
that average
guard that we’re seeing now
if you have that you’re gone well i
felt that the days of a guy
not being good at any of the aspects of
mma are on the way out there’s not that many
room there’s not that much room left
it’s like every
other sport man
it gets broken down to its bare essentials
and everything
gets exposed and now that we know the bare essentials
it’s real simple you have to have all of them in
place you have to have
wrestling you have to have
striking you have to be good off your back it’s
a science it’s a science and
we’ve both of us have worked backstage and we see
these guys come and go
it really is a strange perspective for me
i’m getting to see
what every fight i see in the
truck for the last
eight years
i’m analyzing what works and what
doesn’t i’m constantly
doing the research
and talking he’s got see him come see him go
i could put careers together like charts
you know and there’s a
weird arrogance to not wanting to
learn some aspects of this more yes
that’s the problem basically
if the people you roll with
this you know if you’re an mma
fighter and the people you roll with
aren’t talking
about your jiu
jitsu like it’s amazing
man your chances are slim
that’s why people eventually
you see these stars rise
and again this is all coming from a guy
assigned to
studying charts
backstage i’ve
never fought i’m not a badass i’m not an athlete
i’m not this tough dude
i just noticed
things that’s all
i noticed things
on a hyper level
and i noticed
that the fighters that come and go
the ones that come
if you put them i can’t name names that’s the problem
you see them come and
then you see them go
if you put them all together
they their jiu jitsu was
never discussed one common denominator
was their jiu
jitsu was probably
never discussed as something lethal
at their own gym
you know what i mean
probably not
i could go on that
level there’s a lot of guys who can get away with just
wrestling and really good
striking for a
while for a
while yeah if you can keep the
fight you gotta be good at
everything and people are leaving out razor
sharp finishing jiu jitsu
they’re leaving that out there’s a lot of guys that are
spending most of
their time working on the
striking which is
great but i
think the main concern is you know what i’m
gonna be as
tough as i can
i don’t wanna be exposed i don’t wanna get
knocked i’m
gonna do everything i can
to not get knocked the fuck out in
front of the world
so most people
focus on the
striking i totally
understand that
but you have if you want to make
if you want to
fight if you want a long career
you want a long
successful career
you have to fall in love
with jiu jitsu and that means you have to get into
you have to
study the top guys and the top guys are marcelo
hodra gracie
and jeff glover
just the most beautiful
jiu jitsu just watch that
and you gotta
start getting into that if you’re not into it
and your career’s not
going that great
ask yourself that question
think about
think about what i’m saying
i’m you know
you got to fall in love with
jiu jitsu you have to
not just striking and wrestling
especially if you want look if you like
fighting you’re
gonna wanna have
a career that’s long and you’re gonna
wanna take as little damage as possible
and if you don’t have like a really good
submissions if that option isn’t
in your toolbox at all times
you know you’re
gonna engage in longer
fights than necessary you’re
gonna get more damage than necessary
you know there’s guys that
would see you know you know that have
equal striking
but one guy will see an opening for a
submission and jump on it
even though he’s
striking with the guy
because he recognizes it’s the correct
thing to do that it’s there
but for some
guys they don’t have that option in the toolbox
and if you don’t
have that option in your toolbox you’re
gonna have a longer you’re
gonna have longer fights
they’re gonna
have they’re
gonna be more brutal you’re
gonna take more damage
and you have less options
and overall
whoever has the less options is gonna
do not as good
it’s just science and if there’s more time
fighting there’s more
time you’re getting hit there’s more chances you’re
getting hurt it’s that simple it’s really that simple
if you want to lengthen
your career you want to be as effective as possible
and if you want to have
the most dynamic career you want to be as effective as
take whatever the fuck is there
that’s why george
saint pierre so good
just george
saint pierre
never commits to doing anything
i mean he might be
he might be
he might decide the game plan is to box you
but if you take him down
it’s not like he hasn’t been working on his
guard it’s not like he hasn’t been working on getting
right back up to his feet and it’s not like he’s not
really comfortable
strangle you on the ground if it’s there
he’s not gonna
stand up and let you
stand up and
start banging it out with you
again if he sees an opening he’s
gonna take it he’s
gonna strangle you
are we ever
gonna see george
singing pierre be put on his back
did he fight some guy that just putting him on his back
at will and we’re
gonna have to see how good george
st pierre’s
guard is this
fight i think that’ll ever happen this
fight easily
could be that jake
shields could easily get a hold of george
you think so i
think yes i
think stand up wise
stand up wise george is very
fluid he’s much more fluid
he’s more capable his jab is nasty that
he does that superman jab too and fucks you up with it
he’s nasty on
his feet man who leg kicks george oh for sure
he’s nasty yeah so he won
kickboxing contest with
diego alves basically
i mean there were some take downs in that fight
but the kickboxing part of it the
stand up part george won that shit george is a beast
so jake is at a significant disadvantage
standing up
but jake is a
motherfucker dude
if he gets a hold of him
if he gets that fucking double
under hooks on george and really squeezes
if somehow another he finds himself in a position where
you know george ziggs when he
should have zags or he
somehow another gets him pressed up
against the cage and actually gets a hold of them
things get real interesting man
things get real interesting
it’s all about how they’re gonna
match up i mean
i could see it two ways i can see
jake shields taking
maybe ninety
seconds to pass george’s
guard and then he finally passes
and then within
a minute he sinks in a rear naked
choke or some guillotine
and then puts them out and you’re like wow man
he took his time but he sort of went through george i
could see that maybe
or i could also see
him not being able to pass george
st pierre’s guard
george st pierre’s guard
might be insane
like by this time the last time we saw it i
think it was
maybe carl prison or something
i forget the last time we saw it but
he was on his back
i don’t think he did that much
but now who knows
yeah he’s preparing for
maybe yeah maybe his
maybe jake shields can’t pass george
or he passes the half guard
and then he passed
the side control and then he recovers like damn he’s
gotta pass again
one of those battles one of those
chess matches
and if it’s like that
maybe later in the
rounds george
saint pierre has a
child a tired jake
shields jake shields
is able to get like one take down out of
three or four
attempts he’s able to get him drag him down but
damn now he can’t pass his guard
he’s getting
tired now he’s got a
stand and he’s tired
that could happen too
or he could go through them fuck
who knows it’s a
total mystery it’s a
total mystery it
could go both ways and i’d go
oh damn it went that way i’m
super excited for
that one man who knows i’m
super excited for that
another scenario
is jake shields cannot take down george same pair
not even once
that’s another scenario sure
i mean if that happened i’d be like damn
his wrestling wasn’t good enough
cause if you look at josh koschek man josh koschek
on paper was a better
wrestler than
jake shields on
paper he did more in college he was like
an all american
maybe a national
champion once i
think i think he was the best uh huh
chuckle delton and josh costcheck was the best college
wrestler at
all fast yeah
and so he couldn’t fuck with gsv
yeah what if jake
shields can’t take down gsp that’s possible
that’s possible too fuck yeah it’s possible or
maybe he takes him down
super easy or
maybe it looks like
if you were you know an interesting thing
with the phil
davis no gara
fight was phil davis
could not take down little nog in that first
round and it looked
it looked like
for me if i was phil
davis’s coach i
would have been like man you can’t take him down
but you know what phil
davis kept doing
he kept trying
and in the second
round he just kept trying
and then he finally
got him down he
switched it from doubles a single
yes he did that and
he just kept
fucking plugging away with the wrestling
yeah a lot of
wrestlers at that
point would have just
said fuck it i’m gonna
stand with them and take my chances there well phil
davis is so confident with his
wrestling yeah he just
stuck with you here his post
fight interview
he had a lot of physical problems coming into his camp
apparently yeah he got injured a couple times and
he was having some real problems
where he wasn’t sure he was
gonna go through the fight
you see how fast he
flicks up those head kicks dude yeah holy shit
he landed that
front kick to the face like harrison
does too that’s
crazy his legs are so
powerful and so fast he just springs up
you know god
damn he’s got the most
ridiculous mesomorphic build ever
yeah you know
as far as like you look like the
classic mesomorph you know
where there’s different body
structures ectomorph
was it what
was the other one
i don’t know any of
those morphs
mesomorph ectomorph
endomorph endomorph
endomorph is like it
never tend to be overweight
ectomorph is like really
skinny and mesomorphs are like
really wide
shoulders heavily muscled
like really like
super athlete builds
and he’s got a perfect mesomorphic
build his like
his his hips are like really narrow
but then it
flares out like big shoulders
you know he’s
spectacularly
like like the way he looks like he’s like a
bulldog yeah but no it’s like looks like like a fucking
like a comic book
superhero isn’t it
weird that it’s kind of
it’s like like on the on the fence of being
racist kind of like
if you bring up that you know
that the african
american build huh
oh they’ve after you
bring up the african american
athlete this like
just takes over all
sports is like
you know what i even
talk about is guys who are
look guys like phil
davis and john
jones they work
fucking incredibly hard this is not just
a matter of guys who
are just genetically gifted and they don’t have to try
no no the thing
that both those guys have in common besides being
black and besides being
super athletes
is they’re both
super fucking driven they work really hard
and they’re both really intelligent guys
who know what
they have to do and go throughout and didn’t do it
so when anybody questions what they’ve done to get
where they are they’re like well fuck you
you know you know you
have no idea how much work i put in this is not easy
but they’re
still better at it than
other people i mean
yeah it’s like they got all the ingredients like
you can’t have you can’t be a natural gifted athlete
and not work hard that’s not good enough now you
gotta have both you
gotta work hard
and the edge
is the natural
stuff is the edge i’m no
super athlete but when i was doing taekwondo
i know there
were certain people that i had physical advantages over
that they were undeniable
just having
larger bones for my size being able to hit harder
you know there’s certain certain
things that you
know you know
isn’t that weird how it’s kind of
racist to talk
about that shit i
could talk about it myself though because i’m italian
look you know joey diaz was talking to me
about this on the
phone the other day
he’s like your
whole family they’re fucking masons
masons from italy
those guineas
those guineas make good masons
because everybody else
tapped out everybody else is like fuck this i’m not
carrying rocks
the guineas like fuck you i’ll
carry these fucking rocks
and that’s what i mean it’s
no different in a racist
way than the idea that
you know african americans were at one
point in time
slaves and they were bred to be larger and stronger
you know why is that why is that
racist is that
people got fired
jimmy the green absolutely
isn’t that like been a proven fact
is it is it a proven fact
i don’t know
it’s like it’s
like a racist you
can’t bring yeah it’s totally like a
racist to say that they have the fucking
greatest bodies of all time yeah
why that i wish is to say
they’re the
greatest athletes ever
michael jordan i mean
could you stop
who the fuck is a
greater athlete than michael jordan
you remember when we were kids
used to see
those pictures of him flying
through the fucking air
what was the last time a white guy
was flying through the air in a
basketball game like that
i mean he could fly
you remember
those photos
in sports illustrated
where you’re like there’s no way that’s real
there’s no way that guy’s that high in the air he
could fly it’s like
it’s the reason it’s like
it’s they think i
think the people that
think it’s racist
see it as when they say if you
bring it up it’s almost like
yeah you’re a better athlete but
you know is because we owned you
you know what i
mean it’s a direct
you know what i mean it’s that kind of feel
like well i
could see that yeah
all my relatives are
from italy and ireland so
nobody owned anybody in my family so
you might be half black joe
well i’m mostly sicilian
so if you follow the
movie true romance
there’s a lot of
black in my past it’s such a beautiful you know what
if i could add a time machine and i can go back
and i could
mess with parallel dimensions and universes
i would choose a life where
i was in a world
where all the mexicans were enslaved
and they got created
like amazing athletes and then i was
a product of that
i wouldn’t like for me
right now i
think that would be that’s a cool
background i
think people were enslaved you know
for me i don’t
understand the
like you know cause
i’m not black so
they have a
whole different feeling i
think if i go back into my history if i
could get a time machine
jean and go back to the history of my dna
i think a long
evolution you know
if evolution is real and if one
point in time we were actually
lower hominids and we
evolved to become
humans and these hairless apes
i think there must be
stages along the way you know
and i think at one
point in time
one of my great great
ancestors fucked a
monkey probably shouldn’t have been fucking anymore
you know what i mean
it was like
one crazy monkey that was probably
gonna die out one
crazy wild monkey
and this more
evolved monkey was like goddamn but i am horny
and he shot a load of that crazy
monkey and that
monkey became like this hybrid
and that’s where i
that’s my genetic lineage
i definitely came from
i definitely have just a hair more
monkey in them than the regular person
there’s no doubt about it
there’s no doubt
about it i mean if we if you look at evolution
you know you look
at like evolve people you know who looks evolve to me
asian people do
asian people
they have less hair
they’re fucking awesome at math
they’re incredibly hard workers
you know they’re talking
about having these
these they’re
gonna have this this
thing in japan
where the the nuclear
power plants have melted down dude
a bunch of people more than fifty are
gonna die for sure
cause they went in there to
clean that shit up
like they sacrifice themselves
yeah that shit would
never happen
if with my people
anybody in my family
anybody with my genetics that’s not happening my
culture that’s not happening we’re not
gonna do that who’s
the japanese to me
that seems to be the most of all so that’s
racist against me
and i think i’m closer to a
monkey than japanese people are i’m a racist
against myself
speaking of fucking animals have you seen that
vice guide to
where they fuck donkeys
in colombia
holy shit yeah
that i didn’t think they
would actually show it yeah or show like a 12 year old
that was trolling what if they’re
trolled us it was all invented
they would be in
trouble they would be in trouble
already when that the 12 year old goes like i
i like to spread
the pink pussy
apart and it’s so red
i love the fuck did
donkey pussy
fuck donkeys
yeah it’s so disturbing
who are they just
these get colombians yeah they
catch these guys fucking donkeys it’s like there’s a
whole bunch of them fucking donkeys
in this part of colombia
if there’s people
fucking animals anywhere it’s happening in all cultures
with this part of colombia it’s kind of well known
in their society that your first
sex is with a donkey
like it’s normal like
how weird is it that that is
going on the
exact same time
your neighborhood is
going on or your neighborhood
is going on you know i’m saying
like you know you think
this is all
happening at the same time on this planet there’s
parts of this planet
that are in a totally different
frequency than we are
right here yeah if i
lived in columbia in some
third world country
like that i’d probably be fucking a donkey
every now and
then for goof
fuck it what else is there to do
there’s probably not enough chicks
all the good ones get
taken up by the dictators
yeah you know what i
mean they all get the best ones they get em swooped up
do you imagine how
much it must suck to be born into some really fucking
crazy little
small country that’s
super poor and has dirt roads
and you don’t even realize how fucked up
everything is
until one day you go somewhere there’s a tv
and you look at the tv and you see like manhattan
and shit and
buildings and skyscrapers and people eating dinner and
juicy steaks you like what the fuck
like where’s all this happening
and you’re stuck with no
shoes on you get your
shoes are made out of
water bottles
ever seen those kids
they make flip flops out of
water bottles
have you seen that shit yeah that’s
going on right now man
going on right now in the world
they also said that in that document
that there was
like sometimes there’s like that one slutty donkey
that’s just walking around the streets
and sometimes i was so horny i
would not even use a condom and now fuck
the neighborhood donkey slut oh
jesus christ
you know fucking
cheap is huge
you know yeah
sheep fucking yeah
remember that
sheep vagina pit
that mockumentary
for the band
show that was
never even close to
getting made yeah what was it
well we’re talking
about a sheep
vagina like
maybe sheep pussies like way better than regular
pussy like yeah
it starts leaking supposed to be though
it’s supposed to
sheep pussy supposed to be like
way like as realistic to a real
pussy as possible but it gets
so good and
the bit is it gets so good
it’s a it’s a
twenty twenty mockumentary
like like this is already what’s happening put
sheep pussy is so good that it leaked into the city
people started
sneaking you
know living with
sheep in the city and it got
it got to be
a big problem and everyone’s fucking sheep and
that’s it no there was like violent murders and
stuff there was
remember oh there was a sheep problem that was a
sheep sheeps
would start murdering other sheeps
yeah because they could they
smell you jealous they feel
great they felt
way better than a
female vagina so everyone’s oh
into it everyone loves their sheep everyone’s got
sheep at their houses everyone’s got
but if you cheat on your sheep
if they smell sheep on you
they’ll attack you and
eat your dick and just kill you like
a chimpanzee
dude’s got murdered
it’s becoming a problem so they’re outlined
sheep vagina and they had we had sheep sheep gang war
where the sheep would go into the next door neighbors
fucking house and kill their sheep
if you had to fuck one animal
which one which kind of animal
would you you would just
seems like just go with the flow man yeah i
think they’ve already figured it out you know
and all that shit
giraffe no you wanna go crazy
no no alligator not worth it they’re settling on
sheep for some reasons
a reason you
let them do the groundwork
i believe him listen if they tell you that
those peppers are hot
trust me it’s because somebody
ate them you do joey just discovering that he just
started fucking
sheep pussy and he’s like telling you how
great it is just listen cocksucker
forget forget that fucking flashlight
whatever that nonsense is listen to me
sheep there’s a reason why
those fucking farmers in mont
montana and up in butte
those dudes with
leather faces looks like fucking catches
mitt smoking marlboros and fucking sheepdog
all day long that’s what they’re doing
and those guys they know
about new york they go fuck you
i don’t wanna leave
i’m good i’m good i got my reefer i got my sheep i’m
gonna shoot a fucking bear this afternoon
listen cocksucker
sheep pussy it’s
where it’s at
they got it right they living by
streams while we here
like fucking animals in burbank
took me an hour in traffic an hour in traffic
dog to get the fucking la an hour
it ain’t right it ain’t right
that guy’s got it nail
these fucking
sheep smoking joints
from his mouth to god’s ears
i think i would go
crazy and fuck a dolphin
if i had to choose
or just go really
crazy and fuck like a dolphin or
like a bullfrog
let me tell you something
about dolphins
the dolphins
gonna fuck you son
okay no i’m saying
any of these animal
hundred pounds no
i’m saying any
animal corpentine muscle
i’m saying any animal like like you
could have a
tiger if you wanted to
they would like
sedated enough get it you know some roof oh you want a
roofie and date rape a
tiger yeah that’s good you can
date a dolphin
would date rape any animal is what i’m saying
yeah because
dolphin what you
would actually have like a spiritual
connection they’re so smart
enemy slimy
look that dolphin in the eye you’re like
man like you
could actually fall in love with
it does all
these fucking
tricks for you
it sucks your dick
sardines you’re like holy shit a dolphin sucking
in the water
you’re barely feeling the
teeth oh careful mr
dolphin careful
with the teeth you
could fuck him
and he can take you for a ride so imagine
you know with
giving you a gentle dolphin blowjob with
those giant
in scissors with all the
crazy people
on this planet you know there’s been
one fucking dude that worked at
the world to try
to let the dolphin
suck his dick come on there’s gotta
be one or two
i think by the time
two thousand eleven all you have to do is think
about it if you think
about it so we think someone’s ever fucked a dolphin
apps a fucking if you can think about it
it’s been done a thousand times dude a youtube
video of that that’d be amazing well they
would pull it down those pussies
they’d have to put it on a
daily motion
is there a website
for bestiality
that’s illegal
right you have to be hosted in another country
it’s illegal
can fbi come to your
house if you’re watching animals get jacked well
i think federally it’s
illegal but
statewide see the weird thing with
states laws is that’s how that movie zoo got made
in some states it’s still legal to fuck animals
and let animals fuck
you dude can you imagine getting busted by
the fbi for having all this like bestiality porn but um
but like how many guys out there were like
fighting it like this was a joke this made me laugh
i wasn’t into it
all the people
that downloaded it i don’t
think yeah like this i don’t
think you go to jail if you
download it but but you go to jail if you put it online
and like you know have it on a website oh
if you download you don’t go to jail maybe no
because you
can always say man your honor
i thought this was hilarious
my buddies would
watch it all the time i don’t
think i don’t
think as long as
it’s a victimless
crime as long as it looks like it’s a
grown adult
i don’t think that you get in
trouble for that i think damn
you’re not supposed to be in
possession of it but i don’t
think you would actually yeah there’s
gotta be a website
like who you know if you
think you fucked like the craziest
weirdest creature
put it online and have a
judge and have
a contest there’s
gotta be a contest dude
like fucking
every single
breed of dog
or the wildest animal if you can get a polar bear
you know anytime to figure it out anytime
there’s any sort of a controversial
thing like this
the fbi will
infiltrate these fucking groups
dude can you imagine that they want to fuck animals
it’s like well you know it
you know right when the dice
guy’s gonna stick out
there’s a donkey
freeze fbi what
motherfucker you got me this donkey
it’s like an american idol
thing so you
could fuck the craziest animal
what do you
think about
setups like a chihuahua
what do you
think about
setups like that like
dogs wouldn’t even be in the ball punch
that people
would get into
like trying to get bears and shit
know what i mean the oddest ones
trying to get like a
hippopotamus
you got a rope around its neck
dude if there was a 5 million dollar
grand american idol prize
see you fucking crazy on video
five million dollars all we
would need is
a couple nuclear meltdowns in this country
lower the price of life
and then for sure that
could be a real show
who can fuck the craziest animal
next on spike after top
196 top season
196 because you know what that
first season is
still the ufc
heavyweight
champion cause now they
have genetic engineering he’s fucking 200 years old
the first year
a koala bear the
first year they
wouldn’t get the
crazy wild animals
have to build
they’d have to
build like by the
third and fourth season
you you know
what i mean they’re getting crazier and crazier
like the craziest
would be like a fucking
killer whale so
realistically there’s not much difference between the
human beings of
today and the
human beings
that we’re having people fight
tigers in the
roman empire
we’re the same fucking people
the only thing
is that we’ve managed to not have a
giant natural disaster between then and now
so we’ve accumulated a
bunch of data on how you shouldn’t act
that’s the only reason why we don’t have people
fighting tigers
in the middle of a fucking
arena today
cause if somebody put it out today
we would there
would be a bunch of people that
would be into it
and if anything ever happened to the people today
there was some fucking
asteroid impact
that killed off half of us
and the people survived it was all fucking
chaos and made
for sure within 100 years
people would be fighting
tigers in an
arena again it
would start
all over again and
when what year did they
get that bad
how did that come
about cause
they had come a
point in time
where they’re like
dude we can’t be
we can’t having
it all died off the empire died off
that was the i mean
i think you know probably
today somewhere
if you got enough
money you can get a dude to
fight a tiger
you know yeah was it the fall of the
roman empire yeah yeah
definitely they didn’t have it they didn’t like
move it to greece or
you know to england
why not i think the
romans were
the ones who were into the coliseum and all the
crazy fights that they
would set up
they must have been the
gangsterest
family ever to take over
you’re the head of the
roman empire
you’re the fucking emperor
of the greatest
like ancient empire
the romans dominated all they
smashed everybody
and you’re the emperor
you’re having fucking orgies
you’re having
people fight lions in
front of you
you know what that
must have been like back then there was no internet no
television and this guy was the king of rome
the emperor of
board is fuck
stand up and he
would fucking give
speeches to the death
and that was the words thousands of men raising
their spears
cheering for you
i bet that had something to do with getting
elected like this
motherfucker he comes with the
crazy shit at
first it was gladiators
fighting each other
then animals
fighting animals then guys
fighting animals like
that’s like a new campaign to get
and i think the
whole royalty
thing probably all
started off because everybody
wants to think
that they’re the man everybody wants to think that
they could be
the guy running shit
if you think you’re around like a regular
dude you’re like this dude isn’t better than me i
could be better than that guy that’s like the
classic male ego problem
but if you get someone
who’s elevated to the
point of royalty
like you can’t even question you can’t get to know them
you are not allowed to get to know them
so you never get to
crack the puzzle
you can’t be sitting
right next to them going this
motherfucker’s
crazy you’re running shit
why are you running shit
hey everybody
get over here
so this guy we’re calling the king
this guy’s a
crazy asshole
this guy’s banging his daughters
and he’s fucking killing people for a goof and
having his wives
executed he’s
crazy we gotta stop letting him run shit
he’s just a regular person
you know but they
never got a
chance to say he’s just a regular person you can get
close to him
that’s the only way a person can really rule
they have to rule
as if there’s something outside of the human race
they have to rule like a deity they have to
rule like they’re a god they have to rule like they’re
you can’t even come
close to them
you gotta get on your knees sire
thank you for hearing my words
you know you have
to get on your knees and not make eye contact with him
and then when he put his hand out you
would kiss it
what the fuck
it’s like you had to have that trick
to keep an empire together
you couldn’t have access to information
it’s like the
ultimate example of how
those empires
the more access to information the more you
realize that the guy in charge is just fucking crazy
the less likely
it is to be able to have something like that
that’s why all
these fucking
empires are falling
apart all over the
world man that’s what
egypt what’s
going on in
egypt with mubarak
and while in libya
they’re trying to get rid of qaddafi
i mean i’m sure there’s a
bunch of american
black ops involved as well there’s a
bunch of cia shit that
you know forcing
these people out because they’re probably sitting on a
giant pool of oil
you know what i
haven’t listened
to it because
information because they’re getting information
i haven’t listened to the alex
jones version of what’s
going on in
libya i’m sure there’s a
whole different version
i’m very interested and i just
haven’t had time alex i
haven’t heard it either i haven’t
heard it either i can’t when shit is really happening
when real shit is
going down that’s
the last time i want to listen to alex
cause he’ll get you distracted
it’s eugenics
what they’re doing
right now is they’ve got fema
has black plastic
coffins outside of
dallas i’ve seen them
ladies and gentlemen i have the
photographs
and there’s
two hundred billion of them
they know there’s not even two hundred billion people
so that’s we’re talking clones now
clones of people life extension
we’ll be right back buy gold
you need to buy gold
ladies and gentlemen
2012 solar impact
gold will protect you
i like that little we will be
right back we’ll be
right back that
was good so that’s what he does we’ll be
right back folks that’s slick he’s
gotta run a show he’s out of his fucking mind alex
jones rules
he’s awesome he’s awesome
but he’s out of his mind
i think alex
jones is dead on the
money like 70
of the time that’s what scares the shit out of me
all the crazy
stuff that he
throws in there
i mean maybe he’s
right i don’t know seems
crazy to me
but the real
stuff that he’s dead on the
money about
it’s almost
cheapened by all the
other the histronics the craziness he knew
that with the
japan thing
he knew about
those explosions like
days before they
would announce them
they were not
admitting shit
he would get shit like somehow
could have been
a lucky call
give it a lucky call
but reactor four
just blew up it’s like damn
i got a one in six chance
oh shit for him
for him oh shit
yeah that’s fun alex you did it well
he’s a fucking news junkie and he has access to shit
i don’t know
why he’s still
alive how come they
haven’t tried to kill him
so powerful man
you know you look you don’t have to kill him for what
he’s not stopping anything
no one stopping anything
and you know what things the
things that get exposed they’re supposed to get exposed
he’s like the perez hilton
of the fucking
the the the political
world that’s what it is
it’s like you know he’s exposing shit that
you know what you fucked up anyway
you shouldn’t have been doing it this way anyway stupid
you know this is wrong
and everybody
is in government it’s not like everybody’s
evil in government
but there’s a lot of fucking
stupid poor choices that get made
and the better they get exposed the better it is for
everybody even the people that are governing the people
they need to be
checked too
it’s not like everybody in government is evil they
have to be evil they don’t necessarily have to be evil
a lot of people
go into government with good intentions but
along the way
they get stifled by corruption and bullshit
so this is all good for everybody
this is good for everybody when shit like this happens
but some of the
stuff that he says
is terrifying
like one thing that got
passed by everybody that you
never hear discussed was during the
world trade organization meetings in seattle
you remember
those imagine
where the people were stopped from protesting
this is what happened there was
peaceful protests
it was a long time ago i
think it was like
i want to say 2001 but i’m
just oh yeah
i just pulled that out of my ass i
think it was actually before that no it was before that
because it was before 9 11 it was
quite a bit
where those
the protesters were
actually cia guys yeah well the protesters were cops
they were paid anarchists
there were people that were sent in
to go in and
cause chaos and
break windows and they all wore
ski masks and they all wore military
issue boots
and they weren’t
nobody knew them they
weren’t involved in the rest of the protest
the protest was
peaceful and inconvenient
because all
these foreign delegates and all
these people were coming
these representatives of foreign
countries were coming to that one place
and to have all this protest around
was embarrassing
and it was disturbing and it was
causing a lot of press
like they were having to
answer a lot of questions about it
so they turned it into
a violent display
they turned it into a violent
process that
being the government
they came in
with guys that were in military outfits
and they would wear ski masks on and they
broke windows and they
smashed and alex
jones documents
every single aspect of it including these guys
going into a safe
house and being
allowed to negotiate and eventually all being released
he documents all this and
he does it with news reports
and he does it with
video footage
and it’s pretty fucking crazy
because what they did is they shut down a protest
they sent some fucking goons in
and they shut down a protest
and this isn’t nazi germany
this isn’t the
roman empire
this is the united
states of america
that’s crazy it’s fucking nuts and it’s 100
it’s not like this is a conspiracy theory
they stopped people from walking through with
things that said wto with a red line on it
how fucking un american is that anything is possible
after that yeah
you’re saying that you can’t go in with a pin
that says world
trade organization
that you’re opposed to it
you can’t have an opinion
that’s not even offensive
that’s not there’s no
swears no curses it’s not something that
would hurt children
you know you just have a wto
with a red line
through it and you’re telling me i can’t go to work
they wouldn’t let people into
buildings they had cops there with guns
they were telling people you have to take that
shirt off you have to take that pin off they have
videos of this in fucking america
they created a no protest zone
so just for the
stuff like that that alex exposes
whether or not he’s right
about a missile hitting the pentagon or any of that
other stuff shit i don’t know man
there’s not enough time in the
world to be
dwelling on all this shit
but he’s right
about enough he’s wrong
about a couple
things but if
you’re gonna
judge a guy
based on like
oh he was wrong
about this so he can’t know anything else
you know then none of us
would have any opinions that mattered
he has fucked up a little bit here and there but
man i believe the shit he tells me i believe
i’m confident
with in the 90 tile
i’m confident
well he’s a fun
guy too i enjoy his company he’s a
great guy i love hanging out with him yeah yeah
it’s pretty surreal hanging out with alex jones
right yeah that’s cool man we took him to
vegas we took him to ufc
we’re all hanging out have a good time
you guys i’m really
happy brought me out here
i need to relax you know
fight a new world
order man it’s fucking
crazy you know you
heard now then you get a little
crazy he’s got
a cigarette
he’s stressing me out i love it i love it
cause all he
he loves talking
about all the it’s like
he could go two ways you
could be a guy like please don’t talk
about conspiracies
like any way
let’s talk about
normal living
but no not alex
jones he’ll go
donald rooseveld was the one who
he’s the one
who got that pass through to diet coke
that’s how it got in yeah okay
i feel bad for
that stuff he
needs to calm down he does
but he does turn
off he does but
he doesn’t that’s him yeah
let him you know you let you
be you let him be him
imagine if they made the
brian redband conspiracy
show you’d be like hey guys i mean
who knows i don’t know you know why are we fucking
freaking out
about this i will be
right back after
these words for the
flashlight not be the
brian red van
conspiracy radio show
he be like i
think we’re all getting a little
carried away here okay we don’t know shit
i don’t know
what’s happening in japan but
guess what that’s way the fuck over there forget it
god everybody
relax that’s you
fema has three hundred thousand
helicopters
with beds in them
ready to go they can stay in the air for up to
three days okay
solar charged helicopters
in case of an asteroidal impact
it’s recommended that they
he’ll just fill your
brain up every day with more information
about doom and the
apocalypse i love it i love it i have so many questions
he has answers to all my questions the craziest
thing is he’s always selling gold
i think that
motherfucker just needs to step up and
start selling gasoline and bullets
stop fucking around with this gold
cause you know if some shit goes down gold’s
gonna be useless
all right unless the anunnaki
land again we
gotta give them gold to let them
take us aboard the ufo
unless that happens
gold’s gonna be used i
think gold is like
it’s universal no matter what in mad max times gold is
still gonna be really
yeah i think it is no matter what that’s the one
thing we all
agree on in this planet we don’t
agree on shit
every country
even the same religion
it all depends on whether or not by the time the
apocalypse hits we’ve created artificial people
if we created like whores
artificial whores
you know soulless mindless
robot whores that you
could just fuck the shit out of
and they love you
and they’re so
happy and they just shut off
and wait for you to come back
and when you come back they talk to you perfectly
it’s just like
blade runner
except they don’t have a soul
why would they shut up they
should be clean your
house technology
in your house
no no you got one of
those two bro you
gotta you got one you got this dude
crazy looking tongan
woman with face
tattoos she
cleans your
house she’s a
clean house
slash bodyguard but
i wish you can you fuck that
that house robot
no no you better off getting a dude
house robot
with no dick a eunuch
he’s built like he’s
built like like the incredible hulk except
downstairs it’s like ken
i’m never gonna have that
face is all fucked up
he has one eye like one big
cyclops like
there’s no way
there’s still like girls now he’s got
three eyes he’s got
three eyes because you don’t
see everywhere
so he can protect you
imagine when in the
first eight years
to be your protector yeah you know
that’s when
technology ends
cause all the guys
building this shit they’re
gonna have harems dude
think about
it the nerds of the
world they’re
gonna have like
10 chicks around them at all time
they’re gonna be
going on date after date
after date from
monkeys for
monkeys who what
monkey would ever think
about having a pet dog
they’d be like what the fuck are you talking
about you can’t
trust a dog
they’re gonna kill you man
you can’t have a fucking pet dog
how are you
gonna be able to control a dog
well when humans evolve to a certain
point we’ll be able to have pet
things that we’ve created like pet monsters
like pet giant
your house will be
guarded by like
superheroes like juggernaut will
guard your house
like you’ll have your
own genetically engineered man that’s way better than a
robot fuck yeah he
never sleeps a
robot will jump
over a building
he fucking leaps over
buildings and plans on shit
try to break into my
house bitch i had
superheroes garden this
you crackhead
crackhead with a
screwdriver you
gonna get past the
superhero yeah
yeah what the what
i am so fascinated by what the fuck ever is
gonna happen
when things keep going
you know i watch all
those ray kurtz wheel
lectures and
you know i’ve
read some of his
papers and some of his articles
about the singularity
and the idea of artificial intelligence and
it’s all gonna happen
we’re not gonna stop i mean we’ve created
so much between now
and just a couple
hundred years ago the difference between our life now
and like i was
watching the unforgiven the
other day on a plane
still badass bro
still badass from like
1990 whatever the fuck it was
that movie is awesome the clint eastwood is the shit
especially in that
movie that’s the best western movie ever
but i looked at the way
these fucking people were living and i’m like
my god that’s less than 200 years ago
less than 200 years ago
and they’re riding
horses and getting rained on and shit
and they’re
going into these
places and the
houses are made of wood and they’re leaking like
crazy because of the rain
they didn’t even know how to make roofs
right back then
that’s just
that’s just
you know that’s
probably also just like dramatic
scenes in a
movie don’t you
think back then
if you had a leaky roof like you’d be on that
thing not the shower
and not jean hackman
the sheriff
you know what the fuck there’s nothing else to do
there’s no fucking internet
fucking bothers like oh i have a leaky room
movie geeks
right now like that
was part of the character development of gene hackman
who’s supposed to be incompetent but yet cocky
and that was the
whole reason why it was so satisfying
the kleenes
would killed him in the end okay dude
i know i know we’re just having fun here you fucks
you wouldn’t
wouldn’t you think that
like mcdonnell douglas or like
one of those
come by hughes aircraft or someone be like involved in
the number one product on the planet
would be like a real person
that you could find
that you could
control yeah
you control
that would be the ultimate a
robot that looked
the best robot
would look exactly
human could you imagine if you had just
you had a robot
woman in your house
and you come home and your wife like lit it on fire or
she was fucking it oh yeah she’s having a eater asshole
see you come with a what is fucking
robot’s breath stinks
your wife’s just we
gotta change it
smells like circuits
shitting in that
thing’s mouth
while you’re at work
you come on she’s coughing and your
robot’s coughing
and choking and she got shit caked in her mouth
like what the fuck have you been doing i shit in her
mouth can you imagine the first
gay robot you
have that fucking
robot whore in my house
i’m gonna shit in her
mouth every day
you wouldn’t even feel bad
cause it’s not a real person
you know if you were shitting in like your slaves
mouth you’d be like well that’s kind of rude but yeah
do that get
transvestite
robots oh shit you know what i read the
other day that’s
i need to verify this of course because
every time i
don’t verify something that i read people go incorrect
disinformation i get so many
angry tweets
relax everybody
relax but this is what i read
that more people are in the sex
slaves today
than were slaves
back when slavery was legal
how crazy is that
the second one
is number that’s more people are sex
we should we
could choose to that’s one of
those numbers
too is like how the fuck do they know
yeah right you know i mean sex
slaves live
in basements and they can only come out when
they’re hungry for cock
you know it’s like
who counts that guy
are they just
guesstimating that
every block well
i think they
do it the same way
they do it the same way they do about
mexicans all
right just take a wild guess yeah
they don’t know because
you know they don’t have any idea
they have no idea how many mexicans there are there’s
sneaking in here left and right
my gardener i shouldn’t say this i can’t i can’t rat
them out no
i got a cool house gardener
and he knows a bunch of illegals he’s legal himself
but he knows a bunch of illegals
he’s got some great stories
about dudes going back or forth
it took him a few tries
when he came back
i don’t know
they don’t know man
this dude’s going back and forth is fucking
three guys in arizona with
white pickup trucks trying to guard
a million miles offense
good luck boys
you’re on your own good luck
you know how many fucking mexicans get through there
it’s crazy a lot of them do
grandfather came to this country
illegally he snuck over the border
how about came to alaska’s dad’s
story he walked
all the way to sacramento twice
that’s craziness
yeah i was picking grapes i think
it was actually
oxnard or something like that
that’s a long motherfucking watch his
hips are all
fucked up yeah he’s apparently all fucked up
yeah i think maybe he took rides everywhere
they had some one show where they
watched his family
sneak across the border they followed him
from sneaking
across the border to trying to
get someone to take them in in phoenix
they were trying to get someone to let them
sleep in the garage
for the night because they had just snuck in and
people were
like man you can’t be here you can’t be here
and they were talking spanish to him it was really
crazy it was like
these mexicans that had
snuck through
did not want
these guys that hadn’t
to be staying in the garage
they just wanted a
place to sleep for the night
before they made it to town
they were literally like going into
knocking on people’s doors can you help us they
didn’t have anything they had no food they had no money
like wow you talk
about taking chances
you know it’s
really moving man like this couple this man is
woman they’re holding hands and they’re trying to
get across to america and try to get jobs and they’re
you know talking to him in spanish
about you know what they’re
looking forward to when they go into america and
you know they’re trying to make some
money and they’re
gonna send money back home
it’s like whoa this is like
why can’t they just come over
what the fuck is that
you know why can’t they just come over here
you know can’t we just like have like a
screening process to see who’s nice
and if they’re nice let them over here
yeah was that
ridiculous perfect
road would have be no borders every
place was the
exact same it just seems i mean people get
crazy like listen bro
that’s chaos there’s a reason why this border is
the reason why
this border patrol they’re there to protect
you you can’t have no rules you fucking hit beats the
old fucking
yeah but if everybody was nice
wouldn’t it be possible to have no borders
right yeah what the fuck is keeping it
you know that’s the real
issue at hand it’s not more borders
it’s like how do you make everybody nice how
do you smooth it all out
that’s the real
issue it’s not borders there’s
gotta be a map that you can get before you make
the trip like a map of all the home
depots and all the
strawberry fields you just
gotta go to
move forward so you’re actually talking into the
microphone that’s why he had to turn it up
there’s got to be a map of what pump up the ball
that would be valuable a map with all the home
depots and all the
strawberry fields in
southern california
yeah right like one of
those maps of the stars
like cause you’re
gonna get a job for sure
you show up to a
strawberry field
they’re gonna give you like
20 bucks or something you’re for sure
gonna get work there that’s
the bottom of the barrel how
crazy are those maps
those stars
those are so disgusting man when
you see some dude sitting there with
a pile of names hey this is
where this guy lives go fuck with him
this is where that guy lives go stare at him while he’s
sleeping have you ever done one of
those no no that’s so
crazy yeah so creepy
it’s like what are
these guys thinking that they’re like you know
handing out like free
stalker guides
like this is the easy way to find
where someone
lives how easy is it to just make shit up
yeah fucking
neil diamond lives in that fucking
house and fucking
brad pitt yeah he lives up
there with angelina they’re fucking
crazy oh they’re fucking
right now they’re
crazy they steal each
other’s blood
you come out they’ll come
out just wait for them they love their fans
like how would you know it’s like
yeah how would you know it’s
like there are certain
there’s certain types of people that would
you know they’re catering to
the same people that
would buy that
fake weed that you see in like high times
that was always the most
disappointing shit ever
about high times
they would always
be down for legalization as down
meanwhile you’re
selling fake weed you’re ripping people off man
those are the
sponsors yeah but so what
your sponsors are crook
you don’t have a problem with your
sponsor only praying on retards
i mean that’s what the
sponsor did
if you bought that
stuff you had
to be like a 10 year old boy or a retarded person
there should be something
wrong with you
dude said that
that’s how high times
survives is with our
money because it’s like
every other page there’s like i refuse to
admit i refuse to believe that in a nation
of 300 million and who knows how many pot smokers
is there 30 million of us
let’s say 30
million pot smokers in this country i refuse to believe
that you couldn’t produce a quality
magazine that was interesting
and that had to do with people who
smoke pot who
engage in different
activities and show how much marijuana enhances
their life instead of the same old
stupid shit that they have in
those magazines every week
every week there’s a girl in bikinis she’s got
a bud in her hand whoa look at the bud it’s crazy and
look at the
picture in the middle
amazing leave a
picture of the bud
you’re not saying
anything different it’s all the same goddamn shit
and magazine industry so dead now that’s
the reason why they have to sell this fucking fake weed
shit that fake weed shit is insulting
you that is like
you know you’re
allowing someone to
steal from your fans
you’re allowing someone
that’s like if i had this
thing and if the
flashlight wasn’t our
sponsor and i decided to
get some other
like big dick pills
you know a big dick
what a hypocrite
what a creepy person i would be
if i was allowing
these people to get ripped off by something you know
allowing i was
promoting something
that’s what they’re doing man
they’ve got pages of this shit
these fake fucking buds
have you ever tried that
no i haven’t
tried it i’ve
heard it actually works get
the fuck out of here that shit
doesn’t work i actually
heard it works no the
stuff that k two
stuff that they made illegal that
stuff works
but that shit they’ve been selling in high times
you know that’s the shit they
smoke in movies man
that’s the shit that mitch hedberg smoked with
peter frampton remember that joke
mm hmm you remember that joke when chadberg did
he goes how does
mcedberg do it he goes
i once smoked fake pot in a movie
with peter frampton
he goes that’s way better
than smoking a real pot
with a dude who looks like peter pan
i’ve done that way more times
that’s hilarious
fucking mitch
he was awesome man he was amazing
that’s a guy that man when he died i went shit
like that that really was like god damn it
we lost a good one do you know what’s so fucking weird
about you saying that
whole entire
story because the person
that told me last that that shit worked and she was
his ex oh well
then then well
maybe she was talking
about that k2
stuff that stuffs are
legit how weird that she’s talking that’s how
weird is that just recently
yeah it was like a
month ago guarantee you she’s talking
about the the
synthetic marijuana
which does work
that stuff they’re making it illegal
everywhere because it does work they’ve just
modified it
somehow or another so that it’s not technically
the same thing as marijuana it just
becomes you know
they can do that that’s what
they also did with
those bath salts
things remember we thought it was bath salts
but it really was is they were selling it
as bath so they
could sell it in it
but it really was just amphetamines you know
they can change the chemical components of
something and make it something that’s not classified
like you know like oh
well here’s this new
thing what is this this isn’t even illegal
so that’s why
they have also
some laws in certain
places where
things become illegal if they’re related
to other things being illegal
so that’s why five meo dmt was
never classified as a
schedule one but it’s the most potent
form of dmt
and you used to be able to buy it online man
you used to
be able to go to american chemical company all
these different
places and just buy dmt online
but then because it’s
related to an end dmt
which is illegal
they made it
illegal and they stopped people from selling it online
and they made them very
aware that there were consequences
even though it’s not technically an illegal substance
so what would
happen if you got arrested in for it i don’t know it’s
tricky you’d be able to
fight it probably
see the real
thing with all these
schedule one substances is the last
thing they want is scrutiny
they don’t want anybody looking
at them they don’t want to make a new one illegal
because then people
start looking at
what makes it illegal
and what is
legal and then the argument
comes up well how can that be illegal when this is
legal and that’s illegal
and this is sold at
every pharmaceutical
company all across the
country it’s been shown to be incredibly addictive and
this destroys your
liver but doctors prescribe it like
candy you know
they would open up the doors of scrutiny so what they
would rather do
is threaten people
close all these companies down that are
selling all this shit and not change any of the laws
just go hey shut the fuck up sit the fuck down
this is the government here
and that’s what they do
because they don’t
want everybody looking at it because if you look at it
at a certain
point in time when you’re a
grown man i am a
43 year old
grown man okay
and if another
grown man my
age or god forbid even younger
is telling me what i can and can’t do with my body
that doesn’t hurt anybody
and they don’t even have research to back it up
it’s not like
i saw that movie
limitless the other day
pretty fucking interesting
movie is that the one
where he opens up his mind yes he uses
it’s a bradley cooper movie
pretty interesting
i didn’t enjoy the end
spoiler alert
is it hug your ears
effects the
idea pretty
sweet though i thought yes
the end was wack
the end was like oh he’s awesome
all the time now
sorry the end i win you lose
it was so stupid what
about sucker
punch hold on
hold on a second
but the thing
about that is that there were massive consequences
like he would like lose time
it became got people were
dying from it
it wasn’t just as simple as you take this thing
it accelerates you and then you just
live like an awesome person for the rest of your life
there’s consequences now if you can’t
prove consequences then
you have zero
argument and that’s the real argument the real problem
with psychedelic drugs being illegal
you have all
these people saying that they’ve helped them all
these people that are
going and taking that
ibegain like
ed clay our friend
ed clay who
changed his life who
changed who he is
and became this really fucking
warm open person
after going on
these ibogaine
retreats and that’s illegal
why is it illegal there’s no
study showing it harms you
there’s only studies
showing that people have benefited from it
and so many people talk
about it glowingly
and yet you have
other grown adults
telling you
what you can and can’t experience
then they’re the same
age as you that’s
ridiculous that’s nonsense
there’s a lack of reality
and a lack of openness
when it comes to discussing
these things
these things are
never discussed
in politics
these are huge issues
the issues of
being able to control your consciousness is a
giant issue
and the fact that that’s not discussed ever during
presidential campaigns
show us how infantile we are
at the very least
occasionally it gets breached
mr obama did you ever
smoke marijuana
and if so did you inhale
yes i did i thought that was the
point that’s it
that’s the in
depth version
of the discussion on marijuana
obama admits to
smoking marijuana and inhaling
says that was the
point amazing oh
and everybody
it’s like we’re little children it’s like as a nation
in our entirety
we have the attitude
about drugs
about marijuana
about psychedelics
that an 11 year old has
that’s how we
treat it like
what are you doing with that
what are you doing with that bad
boy yeah we’re
little fucking children
it’s one of the biggest issues i
think as far as consciousness goes
that is in the
world one of the number one issues
the ability to control your consciousness
the ability to seek personal
evolution through
psychedelic experience
these are huge issues
these are issues that
radically transformed you
radically transformed me
radically transformed you you we’ve all been
transformed
by psychedelic
experience a guy named
kelly mullis
who won a nobel
peace prize or
i guess it is a nobel
peace prize for
work in dna
discovery no science nobel science yeah he was the guy
founded on lsd right
yes yeah yes exactly he did it
while he was fucked up
on what yeah
i don’t remember what the the the finding was
but that guy actually is a bad example
because something
about the intern
crazy when he got
older really yeah became like real belligerent getting
crazy arguments with people and became a nut case
yeah there’s
a lot of weird
stuff about him
another interesting one is francis crick
francis crick
apparently this is all
hearsay because
the article says very explicitly that francis crick
told this man that if he
printed a word of this he
would sue and they
printed it obviously
after crick
died but crick
the guy who
he said that
he came up with the idea of the double helix for dna
while he was on acid
but again this is a guy who says that crick
said that the problem is with
anything like that is that people are full of shit
why would they lie i don’t know but they could have
and they do a lot you know people fucking lie like
crazy man we were talking
about that game show in my head episode that i did
i told you about this shit when we had people
talk about ufos on
video we had a
pretend news camera to tell you
about this the stunt
this is what
we did the game show in my head was a fun ass show
and what was interesting
about it was there was a contestant and i had
a microphone
and i would talk in
their ear with a little earpiece
and i would tell them
here’s your
stunt this is what you
gotta do they didn’t know what was
gonna happen they didn’t know
where they were
we had them in a van
and then we
would open the door and say walk to that mark on the
floor and then joe will be talking to you in your ear
they would walk to that mark
i go all right dude you
ready to do this he goes yeah here’s what we got
you are a news reporter
okay there was just a ufo
sighting right here in hollywood
it was huge a
giant flying
saucer was here
and it took off
now you lost your witness
the witness was
gonna go on camera
and he was gonna tell everybody
about this ufo experience
and now you’re
gonna look really
stupid because
you’ve got the camera here and there’s no witness
so you’re gonna try to ask one of
these people to pretend it was them
and that was
their stunt
and every person they got to do it
i think if they got
three people to do it
they won 5 000 bucks
awesome dude
people did it instantly
they did it instantly
they started goes
hey i wonder
if you could do me a
favor there was ufo here
earlier apparently
some people saw it and it was witnesses but i
i guess they chickened
out with the
cameras here like i don’t know what to do i mean
do you think you
could pretend that it was you yeah man
yeah but you
could be on a tv
right now yeah yeah yeah okay
people would just
start talking what happened
oh man it was a
black bright light and
then the ufo came and
they just started talking
it was incredible
we were all sitting in the
truck what was happening we were shaking our heads
going wow how full of shit are people
people would just
start talking about shit
that was my
point i mean it’s like i don’t know
if francis crick
story about dna was true yeah it was a lot of fun man
you were talking
earlier about
ed clay yeah
the way that
changed his life
ed clay was
a very successful
entrepreneur
who got you’re
smart guy great guy who got very driven
you know he did jujutsu he
had he has an
mma academy
he was always hurt so
like a lot of
mma athletes
he got addicted to pills
he got it was really bad it really was was a
fucking up his life in a big way
he heard about eyeball
gain and eyeball gain is like the african version
of dmt in a nutshell
it’s and what
i will gain does
ayahuasca apparently
cures alcoholism
and ibogaine cures
in a high percentage rate
ibogaine cures addiction a certain pills
and ed clay heard
about it he went it’s illegal in the united
states he went to mexico
there’s this ibogaine retreat in mexico in the city
that they’re all
trippers and they’ve all done iboga
and they’ve done a
hiawatha all of them
and it’s just like a city
where there’s
music always said there was music
twenty four
hours you land in mexico city
you drive four
hours you’re in this village everyone’s playing
music there’s artists
everywhere there’s
music constants
twenty four
seven you hear
people like singing and dancing and there’s
music and and
he went to this
place he did
the eyeball
gang treatment
which takes
takes you on a trip
it’s like ayahuasca that last
like two days
or something like that last for a long time and it’s
it’s you know
you get to see yourself and you get to see the
world for what it is
and what it does is
somehow it does something to your
brain receptors or something
it’s a realization of who you really are and it
resets your
receptors in some
weird way i don’t know the details but it
changed his life he came back to the states
so it said his
receptors as far as addictions
yes yes so it’s not just
psychological healing it’s actually a physical healing
yes exactly wow
that’s incredible he changes i mean
how many people does i work on do you know he’s
dedicated it’s a high percent
it’s like 80
he dedicated his life
to i will gain
and all the
money that he’s had from
other businesses he sold one of his businesses a big
mma company he sold it
and he’s dedicating his
whole life to
saving as many people from
addiction to pills as possible yeah
it’s amazing that we have this
issue in this country
where that thing
which is so helpful
is illegal and
these things that are so
damaging and so
scary are legal
and they lied
about how addictive they are when they got them through
when they made
fucking oxycontins
legal there’s a
bunch of documents that show that they
weren’t being honest about the
possibility of addiction that
stuff’s heroin man
that stuff gets so many my friend
i don’t wanna say his name
cause i don’t
wanna be the public
about it but someone someone i know
very recently died of it he had a pill problem
you know and
it’s it’s scary shit man
you know i i’ve
known people that
immediately became
pill zombies
i’ve known i’ve
known two people very well
that became pill zombies
while i knew them
and some scary shit man
scary that the government
doesn’t stop
that if you’re out there and you have a pill problem
or you know somebody that has a pill problem
look into ibo game ibo
g a i n e i
think ibo game
ed clay if you look him up
um he’s he’ll he’s doing
everything he can to to help as many people as possible
you know it’s really
funny that i will gain was the drug that got hunter
s thompson and in
trouble when he was a
journalist when he was
covering the
hunter s thompson was such a fucking
genius writer and such an interesting guy
and what he did was he was
covering the elections
like 1970 something whatever the fuck it was
and he just decided to
start making shit up
so he started making shit up
about these
candidates and one of the
things that he said was that
ed musky brought in a brazilian doctor
and because he’s addicted to ibogaine
and he shows like all the symptoms
of ibogaine addiction and he put this shit and this is
printed in the rolling stone
so everybody thought this was real
everybody thought
so they started asking him
about it and the guy slowly
started breaking down
the guy started going
crazy publicly
like the pressure got to him
and he would give
these public
speeches and everybody
would be accusing him of being on some crazy drug
and so hunters thompson
like literally
drove this guy insane by writing that he was on drugs
the guy there’s
video of the guy
in the movie gonzo you see
this video the guy
breaking down at a campaign speech
just loses his mind it was ibogaine
that’s what
thompson had said that
he was addicted to and then another guy was addicted to
so he made up a name of
speed called wallet
some exotic
brand of speed
imagine that you’re
fucking running for president back in the seventies
and that shit happens
you know you get this
crazy asshole
just making shit up
about you and
there was no internet there was no nothing
you couldn’t you couldn’t go on tv and talk about it
and it was really
funny man it’s fucking
interesting shit he goes why didn’t i goes there was
there was a rumor
going around milwaukee
that he was addicted to ibegain
and i was one
started to rumor
he’s like all i said was there was a rumor
he goes i was actually pretty factual
in my i described it
it’s very funny man did you see a sucker
punch at all not yet
i heard it’s awesome though
no it looks pretty
badass so bad look you know it’s
great did you see it did you see it no i
haven’t seen it but i only saw i guess the
the teaser preview
yeah in the
past i just saw like the real preview holy shit i
never saw the
whole preview
did you go to see that
movie and you’re not
stoned you should go to jail
why is that
movie not in 3d though
that’s why i’m pissed it’s not i don’t
think it’s in 3d
really yeah it’s
an imax but it’s not an imax 3d you know what man i
gotta be honest
the movie has to be
super special for me to be into it in 3d
i’m annoyed wearing
those stupid
glasses those
things bother me
really yeah
i like the visuals i like the
glasses i don’t care
glasses bug the shit out of me
i don’t know but
you know i shouldn’t say that because it
doesn’t bug me in every
movie because in avatar it was so
spectacular that it didn’t bug me
i saw battle la and that was the biggest
picture how was that
movie oh my god
it looked like
it looked like to me
it was you know from the
point of view of a
bunch of marines
fighting getting called to
fight these
aliens that landed on in la and they’re
fighting them through la
it looks like a video game
like infomercial kind
it looked like a
trick it’s like
the plot was so bad it was so bad
it was so bad the gears of war
would have a way better plot oh man the way they got
the way they won and they beat the aliens
oh don’t even tell me i don’t
even know it’s just what we were talking
about earlier with the mma
movie the fast and furious
the same thing
there’s a bunch of people making dumbass movies
here’s the reason
why man this is what you don’t realize or
i don’t realize sometimes either
i like to go on mma
tv or mix martial arts com
i like to go on there because it’s a fun
place to talk
about jiu jitsu and fighting
and talk about
mma and ufc shit
but it’s also fun to see how fucking dumb some of
those people are
one guy put
a big post about movies or
when the expendables came out
they were going off dudes were
going off talking
about how great the
expendables was
mixed martial arts com oh okay
okay they were
going off about how
great the expendables
were i thought this has to be ironic
like this has
to be irony like they couldn’t have actually
enjoyed this
look i like a good fucking blow em up
movie more than anybody but that was one of the
worst movies of all time
and it was unbelievably bad
and as i’m watching them like
holy fuck is this bad
but then i go online and you read people talking
about it and they’re like
it’s just a fucking amazing
movie i’m going to see it
again this weekend with my cousin
and i’m like are they 15 or
is that what it is yes
you gotta remember about
age groups like i keep on forgetting
about this but half
these people on twitter that
that have the bad language
skills and stuff like that
they’re probably 12
cause if i was 12 i’d be talking
shit non stop all day long yeah very likely but anyway
what was my point
but the guy in the message word
battle la exactly and they were talking just
about battle la the
other day about how fucking awesome it was
five stars amazing movie
and then it would like
four or five dudes would say that i’d be like
i’d be like squeezing my head together and go really
really and then one guy would come on and go
you guys are all retarded that
movie sucked a million cocks you listen
yeah and i’ll go that guy’s faster
right now but that’s also probably the guy that talks
about shit about your music and
about my comedy
you know the guys who are negative man
they’re not always right
negative all the time
but when it comes to movies man
it’s very difficult to find like a good
group that you agree with
they were the dumbest
aliens ever
once they got on the ground and they got like these
these tall ass
robot aliens like terminator
they were like dumb
like you got
you went across the fucking galaxy
and these guys are hiding behind a bus
twenty yards away from you
and there’s a
scene that last five minutes and they’re behind the bus
and all around on these
aliens are fucking everybody up with
these soldiers have like
this little girl
and the fucking cat
and they’re like i’m like
how long is this
scene the aliens are
still trying to walk they were
totally retarded you
know what looks really bad is that new arthur remake
oh seen that preview of that
it’s just like the
exact one why
would you remake that in two
it’s just like they’re just adding like oh
xbox live instead of dude
he’s funny though i like him man i
like him i like that did you like get him to the greek
i did like that
movie dude i
did like that
movie it’s a
movie called the man from earth
this is one of the dumbest
movies that people have been recommended to me lately
there’s a movie called the man from earth
about a guy who was a fucking caveman
who survived
until today
and he was jesus
and it’s like a play like they’re over this guy’s
house he’s leaving he has to
leave cause he
doesn’t age
and he doesn’t want them all to get
suspicious so
every ten years he has to up and leave
it is so bad
it’s so stupid and the acting is so dumb
but yet all
these fucking people like dude you
gotta watch this it’s amazing
so fascinating so intriguing
you know and
like mike how
could you be intrigued by this dumbass
movie about a caveman who was
jesus who’s
still alive
today really
really oh that’s
why he came back from the dead because he’s like
super you can’t die he’s like
supernatural
battlex had me for like 35 minutes the beginning
the beginning of battle la
it was good i was like fuck man
okay they’re doing a good job
20 minutes into it i’m like
okay would they
haven’t show the aliens yet
the once they
started fighting with the
aliens they couldn’t figure that one out
like to make it realistic
you really think there’d be a battle there’s like these
these marines that survive
and they’re finally pulling them out of the city la
because they’re
gonna nuke it
they’re gonna nuke it
we got out in time they’re
gonna do nuke it
they go drop us off
one dude drops off he goes i’m
going back oh
no back and then another
michelle rodriguez
comes down she goes
i’ma go with you she wants some dick
they’re dropping
off back in la
and they went
four of them
four of them i
wanna hear about that
you know what
i wanna hear
about this you know what sucks though is
that battle la on rotten tomatoes got like a 34 percent
ron today’s is pretty
accurate sucker punch
twenty one percent
okay fuck you i’m not
going then i’ll trust them
that’s the beautiful thing
about the internet man back in the used to
have to listen to
roger ebert
roger ebert didn’t like gladiator
he didn’t like the unforget
who is like a bunch of
movies that he didn’t like that were fucking awesome
gladiator how the
fuck do you not like gladiator
yeah i would like to see his top 10
dislikes that you know that
ended up getting
oscars or something yeah
he got in a little hissy fit with
fucking charlie sheen online on twitter
was interesting recently
yeah we were talking
about it in one of the
post fight video blog or the post podcast
video blogs
it was like
he wrote something
about charlie sheen
i could do what he’s doing but then my wife
would leave me
and then charlie
you know and then i
would be lonely and depressed just like him and he
and charlie
writes back to roger
david you’ve ever had five girls at the same time
you know someone on
those lines
that ain’t lonely
stupid you know
and i’m like i can’t believe
roger ebert is going
after charlie sheen
like roger ebert’s like almost dead
he lost his jaw to cancer
he can’t talk he can’t eat he has to eat through a tube
and yet he’s shitting
on charlie sheen for getting hookers and whores
really value of the dolls
what is that he’s that’s a
movie that wrote
that movie he wrote
and it’s all
about dolls
or like corn
chicks isn’t it
is it who wrote it
roger ebert
maybe he lives this
whole different life we don’t know and he’s just some
crazy old per
yeah he said
he said it sucked
i saw that the due date
movie that have you seen that yet
tv i like to see
brody stevens at the beginning of it
yeah yeah i’ll watch
that golf gnocous
in anything about
i watch that guy in anything
he’s talented
he’s so talented
they don’t even make him shave the beard
yeah every movie
no that’s his look man i know they won’t
it helps though
because he’s so good
he’s so good if he was a regular dude
we’re gonna need you to shave it for this character
it makes him look like he’s that strange guy i mean
that helps you hear
about brodie stevens also hbos
picked him up for a new tv show what is it
zach alphonakis is
going to pretty much make a show
about brodie
like a documentary type
thing oh that’s brilliant
that’s amazing yeah it’s
brilliant fucking brodie stevens blowing the fuck up
good for him well
brody is always just needed someone to sort of like
direct people to what he does you know
he’s amazing you know he’s one
of the funniest guys i know he’s so interesting man yes
he’s such a fucking unusual dude
he could talk
about anything
okay and for whatever reason he’s fascinating
you know will ferrell
just got the role of the office too i mean
is that let’s i
think that’s only for like
three episodes
oh is it yeah
i’m pretty sure
that guy’s too fucking busy bro i was
gonna say that’s awesome if he’s doing that
yeah okay i mean stupid
what what
why’d you even bring that up
welfare on the office because that’s pretty crazy that
that’s big that’s huge is it
will ferrell i don’t watch
those sitcoms i fucking love welfare
old man i never watch sitcoms
i mean i get around the office i get around to
south park every now and then if i’m gonna
watch something that’s funny
but i don’t you
spend too much time
watching oprah i need to you know no
dude it helps me bro
it helps me
it helps me understand those people
that’s why i listen to
conservative talk radio too
i mean i listen to conservative talk
radio because
i don’t know anybody like that i want to know how
those fucking people think
and when i have
those you know
what the libs don’t know okay i’ll tell you
right now here’s what the libs don’t know
obama doesn’t like you either okay
obama’s one of
those elitist
and i like listening to that shit because
this fucking guy believe this he’s selling this
i was listening
to glenn beck this morning i stopped in my
driveway for five minutes
just sitting there
shaking my head listening to glenn beck this morning
just like this is
crazy asshole that
thinks that
the reason why the fucking
tsunami and
earthquake happened
is because we’re not following the ten commandments
that crazy asshole actually suggested that
you know so
i listen to everybody so oprah’s on the list too man i
gotta i gotta listen
i gotta find out what she’s up to
hmm
you got too hot no
i just don’t even that’s like seems like a
bunch of serious
stuff to watch i guess i don’t
well i mean i like if i’m
gonna watch anything serious it’s gonna be like
talking cops or murder
stuff so i can you know at least
get learn a
skill trade if i’m
gonna murder
somebody how i can get away with it intervention
is always the best
you ever feeling down
about yourself intervention
you ever wanna
know that you’re
gonna be okay
watch intervention what celebrity rehab
no intervention
is that one of
those things
where people
are falling
apart and then people have to go and rescue them
people are doing
crack and heroin i love that
that’s the best part of celebrity rehab that’s
my favorite show my favorite part of celebrity rehab is
fucking what’s his name eric roberts
yeah he’s the best
yeah that guy was
on on celebrity
rehab for weed
yeah it was hilarious he
never had a problem
people were falling
apart all around him
he’s in the back reading it like on the side
reading a newspaper with his
glasses eating a sandwich
he never had a
story i mean he did have like a rough
childhood that’s the
problem with that show and he
cried once he cried once
but like a dr drew talks so much shit on weed that
did when eric
roberts came
to him he’s a celebrity he needs a celebrity man
not very many celebrities will go on that show
they go we got eric
roberts goes what’s it here for for weed
what are you
going to tell him
i mean he tells every
doctor who tells everybody that weed’s bad for you
so he’s gotta admit him
when really he has no problem
that was the craziest part
he has problems he had nothing to do with the weedling
yeah it didn’t
well he was
using weed as an escape from his life
and it just happened to be weed it
could have been cough
syrup no he
could have found some
other shit to escape
from yeah yeah i
guess but i
think it was just
i think it was
a way to blow up eric
roberts and he
doesn’t look bad i mean what an easy way to
rejuvenate the career celebrity rehab is fucking cute
you know what
he didn’t he didn’t
look bad at all in
the very first day when i analyzed them
he said doc
i smoke from a
vaporizer they show him
it’s healthier he’s talking about a
vaporizer i was healthier
and he doesn’t
smoke that much at all
and he said
when i smoke
everybody loves me i’m in a great mood
you know i flow
but when i don’t
smoke i get
in a cranky mood and i’m pissed off
that’s what he said the problem was that dr drew
goes hmm we
gotta work on that
he showed him that he smoked it out of the
vaporizer so i think that
eric roberts would go this is a perfect way
well no for dr drewman there’s no solution
other than sobriety you know
i retweeted something
i think i forget someone tweeted something
about pot and i retweeted it
going suck on that dr drew
you know like to him
i’m thinking that
i’ve been friends with that guy for years when are we
gonna get him on the
yes he got mad
at me whoa i’ve been friends with him for years
he’s like hey joe i’m
sorry i’m killing your high what the hell man whoa yeah
you know whoa yeah you know attacking me
or something like that i go whoa dude i’m just a joke
i thought you knew my sense of
humor you know i love you
and he writes back i love you too so it was cool
made it all wind up cool but he thought
that i was like really like fuck you dr drew suck it
some guys you can’t joke around like that you can’t
like you could text me something and say suck on that
bitch and i
would be like ah
i would laugh if you
could do it too
with dr drew
apparently you can’t text dr drew
and say suck on it
bitch you texted him or
emailed him
twitter did you think you
never did oh shit on twitter
i twittered it so then everyone saw
yeah but come on man it’s
funny hey so so um
the fuck do you
think he would ever
do the show
no but i’m gonna do love line
i’m gonna do love line
maybe he was kidding
maybe he was
kidding mike is on
dancing with the stars
right now what exactly did he say
again maybe he
no no no he wasn’t kidding
he got a little
upset he thought i was actually upset
when i was saying
stuck on that he was like i’m
sorry i’m killing your high with the helmet
it seemed like
he was hurt like his feelings were hurt like i
attacked him okay this is the only
discussion that
he and i have ever disagreed on
i think that he’s
absolutely right
about how much
abuse goes on and
he can nail it when he’s talking to people
about what’s
wrong with them
what i think is
he discounts
that there are
very healthy people that can benefit from marijuana
and that’s the difference
people that aren’t sick
that don’t have
addiction problems that don’t have substance problems
they can benefit
greatly for marijuana
and the problem is he’s dealing with a completely
tainted pool
everyone that he’s dealing with is fucked up
he has very
few people that he’s dealing with that aren’t
he’s an addiction specialist
he’s by the time they get to him
their life is
in the goddamn toilet they’re fucking falling apart
he’s not necessarily
sitting down with people that can say hey dr drew
listen man marijuana has made me a
better person i’m a different person because of it okay
so what do you
think it is he’ll be
you could be a
different person anyway it’s either one of two
things either
he actually
doesn’t know
that weed is good for you
or he knows but
because he’s a doctor he
doesn’t want to hurt his
reputation no
look he’ll tell
you it’s better for you than alcohol for sure i mean
but does he know the
truth medically he’s very honest
about it he
doesn’t know that he
doesn’t know he believes that it’s bad for you and
he believes that
it’s addictive whether it’s physically
addictive or
psychological
it’s really no
you know when people say there’s no
marijuana is not addictive
everything you
fucking do can be addictive if your mind is broken
if your mind gets wacky
i’ve seen people
you know anybody that’s a gambling addict
you ever met people like that
i know a few people personally yeah it’s a nutty
thing right they can’t help it man
whatever it is you can call it
psychological
addiction whatever it is they are connected to gambling
they can’t stop gambling they do it all the time i know
a bunch of people from the pool world
my days of playing pool
i met so many people that were gambling
addicts that’s an addict addiction to man
marijuana can be addictive absolutely
anything can be addictive if your mind is broken
but that doesn’t mean that people like us whose
brains aren’t broken shouldn’t be allowed to use it
that’s where it gets
annoying and
when anything
to benefit you and
when you tell
him that it does
there should be some sort of a test
and we tell him that it does
that’s the only
thing that ever annoys me
about dr drew is that he’s
not willing to sort of take that into consideration
he’s pretty
rigid on his
stance when it comes to
psychedelic drugs
into it that’s the only part that i can’t
stand is he
doesn’t know the
truth about marijuana
i thought maybe he does know
but he’s just trying to save his job and he can’t talk
about it because technically it’s
still illegal so i can’t promote it
i thought it was that like he did know the
truth but either way that
would still be
something that i
wouldn’t be
happy with i’m like
do the research
get on the internet
dr drew you’re a doctor come on look into it it’s gonna
you’ll actually benefit from it you yourself
you will benefit
from it most certainly if dr drew
started smoking weed
every now and then
your life would change in a better way dr drew
and you don’t even know it
and you’re a doctor and
you’re on tv man i love you i’ve been listening to you
from love line from back when i
in 1989 back in the day
i love dr dre i love 90
of what you say
but the 10 about the
you not knowing the truth
about marijuana that burns me
inside well tom mccormick
schooled him on love line years ago when he was talking
about it you know
he’s definitely not
not objective when it comes to that
but hey you know whatever
that’s him that’s what you know it’s the path he’s on
it’s unfortunate
i think you
would i think all people can
learn from psychedelic
experiences if you’re not fucked up
if there’s not
something wrong with you
medically there’s not something
wrong with you psychologically
where you really can’t go on trips
you know even just trips of eating weed that shit
benefits you
greatly in brazil where
ayahuasca is legal
the people that are part of the
ayahuasca churches and they’re just
normal loving people
they give ayahuasca to
their kids when they turn 14
to make sure they don’t become alcoholics
as iwaska at that
age right when they’re hitting puberty
it sets their
brains straight somehow
and iwaska if you know what it is
it’s the key
to the other side to the
spirit world it really is
and when you see the
spirit world at 14 somehow
it keeps them
from being alcoholics they do that in brazil
it straightens you out man
when you’ve had
experiences like the dmt
experience which
if people don’t know
ayahuasca is the dmt experience
ayahuasca is
an orally active version of dmt and the reason
it’s orally active as opposed
to the regular version is that dmt when you eat it
is broken down
your stomach by something called monoamine oxidase
and monoamine oxidase
is produced by your stomach and it kills it so
when you eat it nothing happens
so what these people have figured out how to do and
there’s hundreds of thousands of different
plants in the amazon
they’ve figured out how to take
the root of one tree
and the leaves of another
and they combine them and one of them has dmt and the
other one has a natural
m a o monoamine
oxidase inhibitor
so it inhibits your stomach’s
production of monoamine
oxidase and it
allows the dmt to get into your
bloodstream orally
or and it takes a long time it takes like five or six
hours for the full trip
and it’s it’s like a ride through to the
other side it’s like it allows you
during that
brief amount of time
to tune into the
spirit world
which is all around us all the time
and you know it’s
a huge part of
their culture and it’s been
something that has
been passed on from
generation to generation
and it’s a really
incredible discovery because they figured out at all
those plants
they figured out how
to take this a little bit of this a little bit of that
mix it together boil it
strain it out drink it
throw up it
tastes like dog shit
tastes terrible it’s a long ass process to make this
but they figured out how to do this
it’s really amazing discovery
cause they didn’t
figure out anything else they have dirt
floors and shit they don’t even have shoes
yet they’re out there
making ayahuasca
connecting to the
spirit world on a regular basis
and you know and you
think you say
well we’re advanced
you know those
are those poor people they’re not advanced
they’re way more advanced
yeah yeah they don’t have
supermarkets but
guess what they live in a
place where food is
everywhere okay
and they go to the
spirit world all the time
like they’re
completely connected to the afterlife
if anybody realizes
this is all just a bullshit good time and just try to
enjoy it as much as you can they do
those fucking people are
knocking on the door
every day they’re
going back and forth all the time
they’re not lost in the jungle they’re completely
aware of western
civilization and
technology they know all about it
once you go to the
other side apparently
you realize all that matters is being harmonious with
mother nature and
once you see the spirit
world and you see it so clearly
like all the materialistic
stuff in the world
apparently seems to
not be so important anymore your
priorities change up and
you know it
i didn’t do
ayahuasca i did the real
i smoke dmt with
that’s the 10
minute version of an
eight hour trip
well it’s actually
much it’s very very difficult to get the full
dmt experience when you’re
drinking ayahuasca it’s a long
experience but it’s not a slow
mckenna always described it as
like you know iq you compress a file
and then you download it and then you
uncompress it on your hard
drive and it becomes fucking huge
you know he’s like that’s what dmt’s
like it’s like you’re downloading something that’s just
gonna explode in your brain
yeah and and you
know and and
unhinge and
give you the full
effect in 10 15 minutes as opposed to the
ayahuasca trip it
changed my life
you know i don’t want to get into change
mine too and we’ve talked
about it a bunch of times
i have done it a
bunch times to me it confirmed you know
i grew up very religious
and then at 10 when i
found out that
everybody wasn’t
catholic i thought everybody was catholic everybody
in my neighborhood was catholic we had a couple
protestants
in the school
i didn’t know what that was i was a little confused
and then we
had a couple jehovah’s witness and i was like hmm
but mostly everybody was catholic
all the sitcoms that the kids
watched back then
coincided with catholic
holidays so we see christmas specials and we see easter
so i just thought everybody was catholic
you know i was
an alter boy i’m like i can’t wait to get to heaven
cause my life sucks
once i found out that
there was jews out there and i
found i’m like what’s a jew is that a person
oh no it’s a religion and there’s
other religions then
i became atheist once i
found out there
was a thousand religions and i went oh it’s just
muskly all be bullshit
so then i became
super atheistic
started writing songs about
satan i didn’t believe in
satan but i’m like i don’t believe in anything and i’m
gonna scare all
these christians and i’mma
write about
satan killing priests and
stuff didn’t
i wasn’t atheist
i mean i was didn’t believe in god at all
and then when i was
21 i had an
experience that made me
realize that there
might be some
stuff out there
should i tell the
psychic story
oh tell whatever you want man
well that’s an interesting
story i went from atheism to
being an agnostic at 21
i just moved to hollywood to be a rock star
walking up sunset boulevard passing
the roxy and my
buddy john was like 10 15 yards
ahead of me
and in front of the roxy there’s his hippie plan
he’s playing guitar and he has this sign
about the amazon
rainforest getting
chopped down and all this
stuff and he’s just a
dirty hippie to me
and i passed by
and he’s all tree hugging
and i looked at him
and in my mind i’m like you know
take a shower but i didn’t actually say that
and as if he read my mind he stopped
playing walked up to me looked me in the face and said
if i guess your birthday
will you listen to me
and i’m like yeah
right and he looked at me in the eye and said
he said may
may 15th i’m like holy shit
i said john john come here i waved my friend over and i
as if that wasn’t enough
he had to do it
again for the confirmation
i said guess his birthday
and john didn’t know what that was going on
he looked at john and said march
31st mate mate mate mate it’s the probabilities yeah
if you look at probability probability theater
probability theory
remember that conversation
we had a conversation
with a friend of mine yeah at that
point he was telling a
story and the
guy goes mate it’s probabilities probability theory
if you follow probability theory
there’s a way
to do that you can figure out someone’s birthday
what the fuck are you talking
about man you can’t just guess
one day and then another guy comes over you
guessed that day too
no that’s insane
that’s not probability theory
probability theory says it’s very unlikely that you
would be able to do that yeah so
he started talking
about the rainforest we just
stood there with our jaws
dropped i didn’t listen to anything he said
all i kept thinking
about is how the hell did he do that
i was amazing
so i came to a conclusion
it’s got to be one of two
things either
he could somehow
read thoughts and if you
think something
there’s people that
could see the thoughts
somehow it’s like a
weird other
sense or there was some
voice whether it’s an
angel or a demon or a spirit
or whatever
or the akashic records
it’s something telling him
and then he
so to me i became agnostic
which met i’m like okay
maybe i don’t know what the fuck’s
going on and
how old were you when this happened i was 21
so what do you
think happened you
think that dude was doing ayahuasca
and he just tripped all the time and had some sort of
a constant connection to the
spirit world
he’s running around
being selfless
only trying to help people and looking like a bum
because if he’s
dedicating his life to saving the rainforest
he’s got like
she’s super
over active when it comes to
like loving the planet like he loves the planet so much
that he’s dedicating his
whole life he’s not taking showers
he’s on the
sunset playing guitar
he’s dedicating his
whole life that guy
that guy nobody loves the planet more than that dude
you know i was listening to a mckenna
podcast i forget
psychedelic cafe i
think is the name
of the podcast and it had a terrence mckenna speech
where he was talking
about everybody so concerned
about the rainforest and everyone so concerned
about the environment
and pollution and toxifications of the ocean
but if just one
just one of
these things that has hit the
earth so many times in the past
came here from outer space
you wouldn’t have to worry
about anything anymore there’d be nothing left
you know he’s talking
about the meteor that hit the yucatan
and how that within the first
second and a half it was five miles deep
into the earth fuck
the first second and a half it was five miles deep
and that’s fuck the ozone layer fuck the
rainforest fuck everything it’s all done
and those goddamn
every planet is littered
with these giant craters
they’re all over jupiter
we’ve seen them hit in our lifetime
there was an
amateur astronomer very recently in australia
that caught a big impact in jupiter we’ve seen it in
we’ve seen them hit jupiter before with
there was one big one i believe in 94
you know shoemaker
levy i think it was a big comment that slammed in
i mean look it’s some
scary ass fucking shit
and there’s so many of them out there
there’s so many of them
that didn’t
that incident didn’t make me become a tree hugger
but it did make me
it did put me on a quest
to find out
like i just instantly became fascinated
at how we did
that what do you
think i mean you had to be you had to
think about that guy
that’s what i said it was either to me it was either
he could read thought
either what whatever did you ask her
no i didn’t ask whoa
either either he
why didn’t you ask him
i don’t maybe i did and he said don’t worry
about it you know
well what a cock
sucker i just know
hold him back on the ability to read
mind i just know i
heard a voice
or something
so to me to me he did it
it didn’t matter how he did it i
wouldn’t even
let him talk anymore but come on bitch
yeah spread that shit around
i wanna know numbers
i just knew that
there had to be
something that we don’t
understand there
has to be like another dimension or something
so i became
obsessed with finding out
what life really
is you know i’m just always been on that
quest that’s how i became a conspiracy theorist
that’s why you know i’m you know
fascinated with ancient
cultures and what they did
i’m oh i have
stacks and stacks of dvds just like you
stacks of dvds of conspiracy theories and you know
um documentaries on ancient
cultures and
you know the government
and how the government works and all this stuff
that set me on the course
right there to find out
uh what’s really
going on is there an
afterlife i mean
that’s important it became important to me to find out
if there is
if is there some kind of
higher power
you know so
that set it off
so i became agnostic and through dmt
and all the the
things that i’ve been through
to me i feel i’m pretty certain there’s an
afterlife that
we don’t just die and just we’re just done
i believe that
there is the akashic records and
the ancient indians believed
from india they believe
they dubbed it the akashic records
in the after
world there’s a
river of infinite information that
you can have access to the answers to
everything and
through meditation and just
through controlling your own frequency
people have done it
it’s been done
there’s been
the most famous
on in the west was
edgar casey
he had the knowledge to tap into this information
and no one can figure it out
he has like thirteen or fourteen thousand documented
readings he got huge the president came to him
he was you know
he was a guy with a
third grade education
but when he went
under in his
medium state
he had the answers to everything
he was like this
like this this man
in a in a different voice
and would just have the answers to
everything it was yeah what was it
if anybody debunked
edgar casey or
read any of that shit you can’t debunk him really he
smashes just look into him he smashes
he knew in 1920
he knew like the function
of every gland
and no one knew if he was bullshitting
cause they didn’t even know
back then we’re finding the shit he’s saying
we’re finding out
the shit now
if he was right
he would rattle off
the pituitary
gland and give you
what vitamins you need to take
what’s its function
going through all the glands and people thought he’s
crazy but he had documented
mds are going back and studying
his readings
and going holy shit
there’s you can’t debunk him he had the
power he had the
power to reach
and he’s not the only one there’s a lot of people that
could do you
know meditation helps
you yourself have even said through
meditating in your tank
that you feel like you have access to information
well i definitely feel like
the closer you get to being
at peace and in the
right frequency
and then you can
direct your
frequency i really do believe that
i believe that with
the tank and with
especially if i go into the tank
under the influence of the sacred plant
and i get into that groove of
completely totally letting go
and trying to abandon
all that is
about me and just try to be
empty and just tune into it
there’s a place that
i get to it’s almost like i go on this little journey
and i gotta keep it together
while i’m going on this journey because
sometimes when i’m on it it
could get a little
weird i start
thinking about myself or
about my life or
about anything else
and then it interrupts my progress
but if i can tune in
and stay in long enough it’s like i go through a tunnel
and then when i get through the
tunnel if i can keep it together
i get through the
tunnel and then i
break on through to the
other side and when i
break on through to the
other side it
literally is like i get to another place
and so i go through this tunnel
this tunnel
of it’s almost like
tuning my mind into the perfect
frequency and whether
or not i’m willing to let go of all of my control
all my control of my
thinking and if i can
if i can it’s
literally like a
magical event man where
i pop through this
tunnel on the
other side and there’s this
beautiful incredible
psychedelic
world over there
psychedelic
world of patterns and communication
and it’s like a mushroom trip it’s like a dmt trip
yeah so either
a that’s imaginary
and it’s all just in your head it’s a trip or b
it’s actually some place
well you know the
real one i don’t
think there is anything that’s imaginary this is my
thinking about the imagination
this is what i think man
your imagination you’re a very creative person now
think of all the different
things that you’ve thought of whether
you were writing
shit for the man show or whether you’re creating
jiu jitsu moves
whatever it is you think it
and then it manifests itself in a real form as a real
thing a solid
object it was at one
point in time just a thought like
the ability to put something in a can somebody had to
think this up how to make a fucking can and then
figure out how many coconuts
you’d have to squash
to get all this
coconut juice into this can there’s a lot of work
involved in that but you someone has to create it and
think it and
so the imagination
allows you to
think of these
ideas and then they manifest themselves in a real form
so the real question is
what the fuck is the imagination
what is when you’re
thinking things up
and someone comes up with the idea of nuclear
power i mean
granted there’s a
bunch of steps
along the way a
bunch of other discoveries have to be made a
bunch of things have to be
pieced together to get to a
point where you’re
you know making a nuclear
power plan or
an airplane or fucking anything really complicated but
the bottom line is all of it has come out of nothing
all of it every idea ever
has come out of the air
it’s the imagination
so you’re saying
what is it so you’re saying be it’s someplace
and if you look at the ancient indians and
is there an akashic records
is there proof
yes there’s lots of
proof but the undeniable
proof you look at
edgar casey he
proves that
you can somehow
under hypnosis
or in a trance
or in meditation
you can tap into this infinite knowledge
these answers that came from somewhere else
so if there is this infinite
river of knowledge or
what the hell is it who created it
what’s it for is there
is there consciousness behind it
did something create it is there
do we when we
exist in the spirit world are we like this
super infinite
i mean cause if you listen to the mystics and
ancient cultures
the mediums
if you look at all the things they all agree on
they all say
and even terrence mckenna has said this
that in the afterlife
in the other dimension
there’s no time there’s no past there’s no present
there’s just now
everything happens at the same time
no human can actually
understand that or
understand what that feels they can’t wrap their
brain around it
i can say it but i don’t really know what it feels like
but that’s what they all say there is no time
and this dimension that we’re living in
is an illusion of time
we see time moves in a
linear fashion so
we perceive it as time and like
what does that really mean
this is an illusion
really like what could it mean
and if there is this
river of infinite knowledge god damn it
whatever created that for sure is
there’s some intelligent design going on
like that’s what i’m coming that’s the
conclusion i’m coming to
that’s not just some natural
phenomenon where there’s infinite knowledge and
certain people
under meditation could tap into it
that sounds like there’s
some awesome shit that created that
for multiple dimensions
right if it exists
and then you backtrack that it exists
yes there’s lots of
proof that it is there
people are taking information the guy who
guessed my birthday and my friend’s birthday
he tapped into this
infinite river of knowledge
that ancient
cultures all talk about
do you believe
us do you believe in god
man of course there’s
good but you can call it not like the bearded man a
lot no creator
like there is a higher power
there is intelligent design
there is this is
if this is of what we know is it
that’s embarrassing for this universe
if we’re the smartest
nobody knows shit on this yeah
but that’s not embarrassing because at one
point in time it had to be
lower than us if
the big bang actually created the universe
at one point in time like a day old
was the universe like god you
should be embarrassed with yourself this is it
you don’t even have worms yet you fucking
loser well the
whole universe
if everything evolves
i mean at one
point in time it has to be in a low form
what we are in this
if this is a universe if this is a dimension and
whatever you want to
classify this
space that we dwell in
know whether
you think it’s one part of the
great beyond
it’s all attached together whatever the fuck it is
this part is at this
stage this is
where it is
as embarrassing as what we are right now
this may very well be as far as it gets maybe
i mean if we
think that there are aliens
and we think that
aliens at one
point in time used to be
like us and then they
evolved and became much better than us
that means they had to be like us at one
point for sure somebody
the fucking
top of the line the
front of the line
had to be like us at one point
there’s no argument for evolution
maybe it’s us
it might be us i believe in
evolution and
higher power and intelligent design at
the same time how trippy
would that be though
we really were
the top of the
line as far as intelligence goes as far as the universe
what if we really are the only one
that would be a trip man that
would be ridiculous it
wouldn’t be incredible
it would i mean
sounds it sounds
ridiculous i mean the
odds that we
oh we’re number one we’re lucky
but here’s the
thing it had to happen somewhere once right
if it happens here
right if we are the ones
and we’ve gotten to this point
then just because it
i’m not saying this
right but because it’s happening here
doesn’t mean that it’s happening somewhere else
it might literally only be happening here
i believe in evolution
absolutely i mean there’s so much
proof of it
but there’s also
like these inconsistencies
with it too and like the missing link
and the chromosome i
think a lot of that is just a lack of
understanding on
honestly i believe in both i believe that there is if
there’s an akashic records if there’s an infinite
river of knowledge
there’s there’s
definitely in my eyes the
the conclusion
would be that
there’s a higher power with
higher intelligence
than what we’re at
someone else we’re not creating that shit
somebody created that we can’t fucking make an infinite
river knowledge
where we could just grab it like a
supercomputer
we’re still on laptops
i’m saying that that
proves that
there’s something
way beyond us
way beyond us it
might not be that simple it
might be something like we’re moving towards
becoming that
it might be that
it might be that there is no god and
there is no one who’s at the
wheel of this whole
thing but that the whole
thing is moving in a direction the way
to move in the correct direction is to move towards god
is to move towards love is
to move towards friendship and happiness and that’s why
when you crack through to the next
stage when you
have that dmt trip and you go over there it’s like
what you’re trying to do is to get there
what you’re trying to do is to tune in to how they’re
tuned in you
know and then it’s not even that there’s a
thing behind it but you are it you are that
thing we all
are that thing
water molecules in the ocean
that’s one of
the conclusions and theories based on
all the shit that i’ve heard
it seems like the
afterworld is like an
ocean it is like god is one god is
ocean but we’re all part of it we’re all
like a water molecule we’re all affected it’s the
ultimate mind fuck it’s the
ultimate mind fuck to
think about
and your own biology is sort of betraying you
into thinking that you’re an individual
and that you’re not a part of some gigantic fucking
thing that’s all happening
but one of the
things that you’ve realized
and i’ve realized over the course of our friendship
i mean eddie’s been my best friend since
i think 2000 we
started hanging out in 2000 and
it comes back to the
story of the
twister because
we became good friends
i was getting
private lessons when i
first started doing
jiu jitsu i was a
blue belt under
this dude i won’t say his name he’s a very nice guy
but i’m gonna say something negative and
because i was getting
private lessons from him all
the time he was the only guy that i was rolling with
and i wasn’t really
learning nearly as much as i thought i thought
like if you’re kickboxing and
you say if you get a chance to work out with rob cayman
it’s way better to work out with
rob cayman one on one than it is to go to a private
class like he’s
gonna correct all your technique
so i thought that
would be the case with
jiu jitsu like i
would get real good
going to class
anything like that
eddie was the
first person to tell me and
eddie came to
one of the private lessons that i was
having with silvio and we rolled around a little bit
and right away he got me in a twister
and i had no idea what the fuck he’s doing
all of a sudden he hooks my
knee with his left leg and his left foot goes under his
right knee and he
rolls forward
under his left
shoulder and i’m
spinning around like a top
the next thing you know he’s got my arm
wrapped around his neck
and he’s fucking pulling on my
neck like this i was like what the fuck did you just do
like i had been
doing jiu jitsu for two years
and i had no idea what the fuck you just did to me
and i was like god damn and you’re like i’ll
teach you all this shit i was like dude
teach me this shit
and that’s how we became friends and that’s also
how i started smoking pot
you know i was on the mark marin
podcast the other day
and this came up
you know i thought that marijuana
and all that
stuff was for
losers i thought that it just made you a loser
you’re just
gonna become unmotivated you’re not
gonna get anything done you’re
gonna be a dummy you just sit and watch tv
that’s not what i wanted man i wanted to make sure
we’re like our friend bud
we have a good friend bud who’s like super
fucking go get her
you know bud is a
great guy he’s the one who put together the tv show to
build that car the parakuta
he’s also the one who did
my garage like an
mma garage he’s always got a
bunch of different tv shows going on
and he’s a fucking go getter
and you and i are always like dude
please just let us get you high
how many times
more than anybody more than dr drew
more than anybody how many
times have we been having this conversation with him
and he’s always like
after i make my
first million
then he makes his
first million like i’m
still i’m like i
wanna slow down now
like he just does not
wanna slow down
and we’re like it ain’t
about slowing down man
it’s not about i’m not slowing down i
haven’t slowed down at all
i work more now than i ever did before same here man
i’m a busy motherfucker that’s not an
annoying goddamn stereotype that potheads are lazy
we get a lot of shit done dude
i’m doing two
podcasts a week i’m writing a book i’m writing my
stand up comedy i’m performing
stand up comedy
and i’m doing
stand up i’m doing the commentary for the number one
mixed martial
arts organization in the fucking
world and i’m
training jiu
jitsu and i’m doing kettlebells
and i’m raising kids
and i play pool
every night
and i gotta surf the internet and i
gotta beat off there’s a lot of shit
going on man there’s a lot of goddamn time
i’m not lazy at all i squeeze it all out every day
so when people say that potheads
you know that it makes you lazy
it’s just a
stereotype man and that was a stereotype that i thought
before i met you man
i do sleep till
about 10 45
every day so
what what time you go to bed
what time you go to bed two or
three yeah that’s like
eight hours that’s what you’re supposed to get man
most of these people are in bed at 10 o’clock at night
that’s why when they get up at six o’clock
in the morning they’re all impressed with themselves
yeah bitch i
slept till 1 30 in the afternoon
but where were you at 5 am i was writing the
greatest bit i’ve ever written in my life
okay that’s why i
write my best shit
i was in the fucking isolation tank
traveling through the universe all right
that’s what i was doing
while you were
sleeping so don’t give me a hard time because
my time is different
than your time like somehow another
you know you’re fucking doing yoga at 5 a
m so you’re the king fuck you
stupid and it’s all
based on farmers anyway
it is based on you’re
right it’s based on
you have to fucking get up
early that’s nonsense
asleep the crazy
thing is a joe and i before we start
smoking weed
we were totally
against it we were bag on
stoners and we thought it made you stupid
i would talk so much shit on
stoners that at 28
that’s when i
found out the truth
that’s when i reap the benefits of marijuana
and then when i met joe he was so funny
i thought this guy’s got a
smoke pot he’s so
funny like i’d go see him
you know do
stand up at the comedy
store and i’m like that’s that dude
who trains at
john jacques machado’s
he trains at my
school hey what’s up dude i
train at your school
and i was like
watch him do comedy i thought he was great he’s
gotta smoke yeah
eddie and i had a
bunch of fortuitous meetings just
out of the blue
before we became friends at one time
eddie’s eyes aren’t so good
and one time we were
at mel’s diner
and it was late at
night man it was like one o’clock in the morning
and i’m like yo eddie
eddie yo eddie
he’s like man who’s this
motherfucker talking to me man i’m
gonna have to
fight this dude in
front of my chick
oh that’s remember
that oh my god you remember that yeah you thought
i was like some dude who’s just fucking with you
i i had it thrust
down i’m like
i thought you were
cause i was with the
chick and i
thought you were saying something to the chick
yeah you didn’t hear what i was saying and you can’t
see that good so you couldn’t see me from a distance
so by the time i came up to your
table you’re like who’s this
motherfucker
and then you’re oh hey dude
i didn’t watch newsredo and at that
point it was before fear factor so
i never watched news radio and
so i was like okay i hear he’s an actor or something
like i barely remembered
but then when i saw you
at the comedy show that was by luck too
you didn’t come
there with me you just came there yeah i
was just acting
i would go see come
cause right when i
started smoking weed
i began to appreciate comedy way more because
it’s way better all of a
sudden my mind
figured out how to
write comedy
right when i
started smoking weed
i never under i was fascinated with comedy
but i never
understood how they put bits together i didn’t
understand the
setup i didn’t
understand the
structure of comedy
but as soon as i
start smoking weed
i’m like i know
where they’re
doing i know what they’re doing now they’re doing this
and they’re taking that
and then doing so i
understood the
basic formula
so i just became fascinated
and then i saw you i’m like
that’s that dude from my
jiu jitsu school
he’s an actor
and you killed me you were just
you were all nothing but dick jokes
and like relationship jokes
chick jokes dating joke
but you were killing it
and then when you came you walked off
stage like hey dude
what’s up dude
i know you fucking were awesome
and then we then
that’s when
he invited me to give him a private or something
that was after
you at when i was taking
privates with that dude yeah and then you came down to
class and then and then the pot smoking
began that was it
yeah you know it took me
it i thought you totally smoked weed so
last year let’s not tell
about the story
because it’s kind of
illegal oh one
thing the one part
about the story
it’s on me it’s not
going to be you know i’m saying
yeah but it’s
legal now it’s legal now
yeah yeah yeah yeah totally
your life that’s
cryptic shit
for you bitches listen this goddamn podcast been
going on long enough
if it wasn’t for
eddie bravo i
would have never got into jiu jitsu
it wasn’t for
eddie bravo i
never would have become a stoner
he’s one of my fucking favorite
human beings to walk the face of the earth
you can find on twitter
e d d i e b r a
v o on twitter
and your website is
tenth planet jj comm
right yep i’m on the forum
every day the new beer forum
and brian redband you can
catch him on twitter at redband
redbam and please follow him
he’s getting very insecure he’s got such a high death
squad itunes rating it’s like number 13 and shit
blowing the fuck up
but yet his goddamn twitter is so minuscule
well i’ve just surpassed the 300 000 mark bitches nice
can i say one more
thing before we
go for sure yeah
we were talking
about michael jai white
earlier i just
wanna say that the
never back down two
michael ziwit was a producer
star director he wanted to make sure that it was
mma authentic
so and not be anything like the
first one so
never back down to
you know he brought me in as a consultant
i ended up getting
a little part i got a couple songs on the
soundtrack but we did our best to make it
to fill all the holes to make sure that a hardcore
mma fan could come to them and
watch this movie
and couldn’t poke any holes
and there’s a
twister in there too i
choreographed a
fight where he gets a guy at a
twister and
it seemed at that point like
you know like there was no
twisters in the
ufc so i could
see like the producers as i’m putting it together like
are you sure we’re
gonna do this
i mean this is legit
are people gonna
isn’t this like a double flip kick and
thank god the korean zombie pulled off a
twister so now
it legitimizes that part of the
movie as well
nice so there’s rubber
guard in the movie
which we did our best with it man
i saw a rough cut of it i
loved it so
cool alright this weekend
portland i’m there with joey diaz
thursday friday saturday
at the helium
comedy club this shit is all almost sold out
if you want tickets you
gotta jump on it right now
because there was very few left as of today
so get in there
thank you everybody for seattle
the moor theater was fucking sold out and it was
crazy and the
voodoo chicken went on
stage for the very
first time it was
absolutely spectacular
seattle you guys are the shit i had a
great fucking time
and when i said
how many people listen to the podcast like 99
of the crowd went crazy
and it’s all podcast people now these
crowds are all podcast
crowds it’s nuts
thank you very much for the
flashlight to the flashlight
if you go to joerogane
net and click on the link
that says flashlight and
enter in the code name rogan you get 15 off
so that’s it
freaks wednesday
we’re doing joey diaz
joey diaz will
be on the podcast wednesday and then wednesday
night will be at
sal’s comedy hole in la all
right bitches you know i love you
saturday night or saturday the saturday 10 planet
springfield i’ll be there
teaching assembly
springfield massachusetts no
no springfield missouri missouri
springfield missouri this saturday
get on the new bureau forum
get the details at
tenth planet jj com alright bitches
we will see you guys on wednesday
i think are over bitches
i did one more it
sounded artificial that last bitches
i take it back