Pops, anything interesting happen to you this week?
No, but I’m about to gag over my own breath right now because it’s so terrible.
What did you eat?
Caesar salad and it’s bad, so don’t try to French kiss me.
You will not be happy.
Well, it’s interesting you bring up French kissing because we’re going to get into this
I cannot wait, like I’m salivating at the thought, I’m so excited.
This is a new episode of I’ve Had It.
And it’s starring Pamps with a bad breath.
You remember in that Beyonce song, Becky with the good hair?
I’m Pamps with a bad breath.
When we first decided like a year and a half ago to do this podcast, I found this article
and I thought, I’m going to save that, I’m going to read it to Pamps for the very first
time on the podcast because it is right in your wheelhouse.
The title of it is Breast Milk is Not for Men.
Now I’m just going to read the highlighted areas that I found interesting.
Global demand for human breast milk has never been greater.
Breast milk banks and peer-to-peer sharing have long existed for mothers in need, but
now it is increasingly being sold for profit.
And not just to parents wishing to feed their babies.
There is a dark side to this trade, as there always is when human body parts and products
Lactation and pregnancy pornography is an upsettingly fast-growing genre.
Aside from hearing the stories of two couples that practice, quote, erotic feeding while
live streaming on porn sites, viewers were also introduced to a young woman that goes
by Milky Mummy, a mother of three infants who made £30,000 selling lactating videos
In an attempt to understand why an adult man would buy such services, I spoke to someone
who hides behind the pseudonym Breast Milk Enjoyer.
He told me he was introduced to the concept by the online bodybuilding community who drink
breast milk for the human growth hormone IGF-1 and because it is rich in probiotics.
A friend gave me a bag of his wife’s frozen milk to try, to see if I liked it before making
it a staple, he told me.
It was much sweeter than I expected.
Breast Milk Enjoyer also tells me that, quote, online right-wing bodybuilding community,
which I am a part of, sources almost entirely from wives of men in the sphere or women who
are adjacent to it.
I very much enjoy it now.
It’s not a fetish thing.
I’ve just had so much of it over the years that any taboo is broken.
Once you go frozen, you must try it fresh off the tap.
He says, you have no idea the state of our inboxes.
Women will advertise a full-service milking experience complete with costumes for thousands
So a couple of things are happening here, more than a couple.
Number one, you got the bodybuilders that want some sort of pure milk.
Why don’t they just take steroids like a normal bodybuilder?
Can I ask you a question real quick before you, I guess, bash the breast milk?
It’s not a fetish of mine, but just last week, me and my wife had a conversation because
we were watching our youngest brand new nephew, and her sister brought over breast milk packages.
My wife knows I don’t outsource breast milk, but while she’s pregnant, it’s not like a
fight for who gets the titty milk.
But if they’re not watching-
Compete with your children?
It’s not a competition.
You’re a part of the problem?
But it tastes good.
This is alarming.
I feel like we could have gone all our lives without knowing that.
But I feel like on this show, you guys needed to know.
You’re a sound engineer.
You guys needed to just deep dive into these fucked up men that drink titty milk, and Richard’s
a titty baby.
Again, part of the problem.
My wife was like, you bet not drink none of my sister’s breast milk in there.
Did you do it?
I think it’s … I’m not saying I think it’s normal for your own wife’s breast milk, but
Well, so there’s that.
It started out on accident.
You know you got to test the baby’s milk because you don’t want to make it too hot before you
give it to the baby?
Typically, you just kind of dab it on your arm, though.
I was like, well, let me just … Whoa.
Oh, my God.
Again, Richard, part of the problem.
Oh, my God.
Part of the problem.
I can’t even really process that right now.
I want to get to the people I don’t know that do this.
I’m more comfortable talking about them than the person who is-
On the other side of the glass.
Right fucking there.
That’s a real life titty baby.
There’s the bodybuilders that are doing this for their own … Like you said, why are they
not fucking taking steroids like a normal bodybuilder?
Like a normal bodybuilder.
And number two, then you have these fetishes, lactating orgies and shit.
Like doing it online, like you rent somebody to come over with the breast milk in a costume?
Because there has been such an increasing demand, obviously poor women are selling their
milk and they’re getting further marginalized.
Like these women in Cambodia, there’s literally like these milk farms that they’re hooked
up to to satisfy the Richards of the world so they can drink this goddamn milk.
Then there is a human exploitation side of this, too.
For these freaks.
I just, I want to poll the producers.
Richard, I already know what your fucking problem is.
Neil, but let me ask Pumps first.
Pumps, do you have any fetishes?
I was thinking about that.
I think my tea, having to have my tea all the time, is that a fetish or just an eccentricity?
She’s a kinky motherfucker.
That’s about as much as it would get.
Your iced tea.
My iced tea.
Is your fetish.
Because I have to have it all the time.
You always make fun of me for carrying that gold thing around.
I think there’s a reason that you’re not getting laid.
It’s like, hey baby, what’s your fetish?
I love that iced tea.
What are yours?
I think, I don’t know if it’s a fetish, but I have just an abnormal attraction to these
Right, who are gorgeous.
So that’s not like.
And like super alpha male.
It’s not like you want to do any of these.
But I don’t have like a, while I’m in the sack, I have this.
Like it turns me on if you suck my toes or something.
I don’t know.
I don’t have that either.
We’re pretty normal.
Except for Richard.
Nellie, do you have a fetish?
I do like DJs.
Like if there’s a DJ.
You like a DJ.
I like spinning it.
Everybody has a crush on a DJ at some point in their lives.
Let’s ask Jen.
Jen, do you have any fetishes?
Oh gosh, can you tell us?
Will you tell us?
I would think that would be a hard fetish to have because people’s feet like get sweaty
and they stink.
It’s a mime.
Hers actually smell really great.
I guess I just need to get a turntable and some headphones.
That’s what you’re missing.
Maybe you could get down on the feet.
So I have a funny fetish story.
So this gay friend of mine, he used to live in Oklahoma City and now he lives in Detroit.
He was on like Grindr and all this shit, right?
So he tells me there’s this guy he matches with.
They do a dick pic exchange.
And so I say to my friend, I’m like, so what happened?
He goes, so I go over to this guy’s house, answers the door, totally exactly what’s delivered.
The body, everything, there was no bait and switch.
The guy escorts him to this dresser in the bedroom.
He opens up the dresser and it’s like serial killer style organization, folded socks, real
psychotic, like totally perfect, like at a retailer.
And so he says, pick out your pair of socks and put them on your feet.
The guy instructs him to turn over so that his feet, the arch of the feet are kind of
The guy like got so turned on about these socks.
That was his deal.
I mean, if that’s not like totally like that’s mommy issues or daddy issues with the dirty
I mean, just total Freudian bait, like analyze forever.
But that was, that was the jam.
I’m just, I’ll say like this.
I think he sounds like a great guy.
I mean, it sounds, I mean, there’s a lot of good qualities to him.
Here’s what’s remarkable about the 10 minutes we’ve been in this episode so far.
We never are the normal people, you and me ever, ever, ever, ever now.
And we are, we’re not into DJ sex.
We’re not into titty milk to socks and feet and toes and all that shit.
I mean, but there’s no funky, freaky, weird fetish like these producers that are doing
this podcast of ours.
And I like that you pointed that out because never, ever would we be average, normal people.
Well, I have a treat for you, my dear.
We have a guest.
He is a former MMA fighter, bare knuckle fighter.
I think like that means you don’t have a glove on.
Turned drag queen.
I love that already.
From fighter to drag queen and apparently has major fetishes.
His name is Diego Gargiel.
Very well done.
Very well done.
Check out his name.
What is it?
Oh my God.
It’s actually pronounced Mr. Buthole.
I like it.
Diego, I’m Jennifer.
This is Pump.
She’s fucking crazy shit.
You’ll love her.
Ben and Nellie tell us that you used to be a bare knuckle fighter, a former MMA fighter,
and then you turned into a drag queen, which I love, love, love that transition.
How did that come about?
I was taking some emotional intelligence courses.
I was trying to transition from being a full-time fighter to being a full-time artist.
And it was just something that they were, during the course, they’re like, what could
you do that’s outside of your comfort zone that you’ve never done before?
And I was like, I don’t know why.
That’s the thing that popped into my head.
I was like, I don’t know.
What if I did a drag show?
And everybody’s like, oh shit, that’s crazy.
Everybody at that class had met me straight from a match where I had broken my hand.
I had metal rods coming out of my hand.
I had stitches all over my face.
So these people, they met me, their first impression’s like, oh shit, this guy’s some
really tough fucking gnarly macho dude.
So during the class, mostly, not mostly, but a lot of emotional intelligence courses, I
think a heavy subject has to do with vulnerability, which is very hard for especially toxic males
I think that’s a huge problem with them.
And since I was like, oh, what if I do a drag show, everybody’s like, oh shit, that’s perfect.
You can’t get the mission more than that to be like, hey, I’m going to do something that’s
vulnerable for me to do.
Do you have the name and number of your emotional intelligence teacher or the course information
so I can sign pumps up for that?
I think it’d be really helpful for you.
She told me a couple of days ago I was the least emotional person on the planet.
So what’s your drag name?
Yeah, dying to know that.
What’s your drag name?
Lola Pistola, which is a play on my fighting name, which is Diego Dos Pistolas.
Yariho was how I would be billed when I was fighting.
So I thought it was real cute.
Did you know you could dance and stuff?
You have to have pretty good moves to be a drag queen, but I guess you have to be pretty
good moves to be a fighter too.
Footwork helps a lot.
I know some really high level fighters that are actually really good dancers and it does
have a lot to do with rhythm and footwork.
It doesn’t mean it necessarily carries over, but I think ever since I was a small child,
I really enjoyed dancing and probably enjoyed it more on the feminine side than other kids.
I was raised by a single mom and there was a lot of gay folks around our home when I
was growing up.
For me, it was very acceptable to express my feminine side.
I didn’t have a dad in the house that was like, because I’m Latin, I come from Mexico,
so it’s a Latin culture.
I didn’t have that in the home where somebody was saying like, oh, if you do that, you’re
going to turn gay, which is very common in a Mexican or Latin American household.
How’d you get into fighting?
I think I always liked action movies as a child and I loved Bruce Lee and I just loved
that whole thing.
Then I went to see a documentary at my brother’s house and it just opened up my eyes.
At that time, I was a little bit lost.
I was just barely getting out of a life of crime and I needed something with a lot of
passion in my life and I saw that documentary.
Even though it didn’t depict a good lifestyle for MMA, I was like, oh, that’s what I want
Then I saw it on a Friday, signed up to a gym on a Monday.
The next Monday, I was dropping out of college probably to be trained full time within less
than a year.
I like this kind of impulsivity that you have, like, I’m going to be a fighter and you just
You’re at emotional intelligence class and it’s like, I’m going to be a drag queen and
you just do it.
I mean, see, Pumps, there’s hope for you.
There is hope for me.
I don’t think I’d be a very good drag queen though because I’m not coordinated.
I never get the footwork.
Also you’re already a woman.
Oh, that does suck.
That’s the problem.
I do have drag kings though.
I can be a drag king.
What we’re talking about before you joined us are fetishes, okay?
Pumps, neither one of us has any fetishes.
The producers, I’m not going to even get into the kinky shit that these people do.
It’s un-fucking-believable and I’m not going to bore our audience with the filth again.
But I want to talk about, I heard that you may have some fetishes.
What are they first and foremost?
Well, first of all, I’m super open-minded.
I like to try new things all the time.
I think that keeps things fresh.
I go through cycles and then right now it’s like I’m really into my girlfriend’s feet.
I love smelling her feet and kissing her feet.
Do you have a rule about you have to shower immediately preceding any kind of footsie
I think sex should be dirty and you should shower after sex, not before sex, especially
the way I do it, for sure.
What if your girlfriend’s had her shoes on all day without socks?
I think that’s what’s hot.
If you’re attracted to somebody, you’re probably attracted to their pheromones.
I think that’s what’s hot.
You can smell your partner.
It’s like, I don’t want to smell like a bunch of deodorant and perfumes.
Pumps here, she got divorced how long ago?
So she went through like a decade-long dry spell, possibly more.
And then recently went on a date, had sex again, and then now we’re back to totally
being asexual again.
And Pumps, do you want to have sex with anybody?
If I liked him.
I like smelling my partner.
I like, you know, smelling their armpits and stuff.
Like I said, lately I’ve been into the foot thing, but man, it’s like, when I think about
it, it’s like, what fetish haven’t I had?
You know, like I’ve tried everything with my partner, you know, and explored all kinds
And you know, lately we’ve been discussing maybe bringing in a person just to watch us
You know, like not participate, you know, that’s something that we have.
Are you both really fit?
Obviously you’re pretty fit.
Is she pretty fit?
I mean, I love my girlfriend’s body.
You know, she’s not as athletic as I am for sure.
Like I, you know, like working out is like almost not even a part of my routine, but
a part of my job.
Let me ask you this.
I want to get back to the voyeur.
Do you interview the voyeur?
Do you take applications?
How do you find the voyeur for you all to be the exhibitionist with?
Well, it’s something that we’ve just barely been discussing.
And so it’s not something that we like, it’s not developed, just jump, you know, a hundred
Like you always have to be mindful of your partners, you know, their pace, cause it’s
I want to know how do you find the voyeur?
Like if she can sense and she’s like, yeah, I want the voyeur.
Is there a specific type of voyeur?
Is it any voyeur?
Well, for, like I said, for sure, we’re just like barely starting to discuss this.
We’re just at the beginning of the discussion.
So I would imagine that, yeah, you’re going to like discuss what they’re comfortable with.
What kind of person do you want to bring in?
You know, I wouldn’t like pull a stranger off the street, you know, like that seems
like a little bit risky cause you’re still, I mean, I feel very confident to take care
of myself and my partner is still involved in the equation.
So at the same time, it’s like, to me, that’s not something that sounds super attractive
to have a person that we see on a regular basis.
So I wouldn’t like ask somebody, you know, it would have to be a situation where you
meet somebody, maybe the vibe is right and you, you know, you’re probably not going to
be seeing this person on a regular basis and say, Hey, you know, would you be interested
in watching us have sex?
And then you have to discuss limitations cause you’d have to be like, well, look, this is
just a show you’re not allowed to touch.
What about, have you ever had a threesome?
Yeah, I have had a threesome.
So is it girl, girl, boy, you’re the boy or is it two boys and a girl or both?
I’ve had both.
I’ve had both.
Would you be a voyeur?
Like an in-person voyeur, like in the room?
Would you be a webcam voyeur?
And I think you could be sexually frustrated.
Didn’t your mother clean out your closet recently and threw away your vibrator?
It’s been replaced.
Those things are expensive, man.
That would be great.
They are expensive.
She bought a goop vibrator and her mom comes over and does this manic organizing of her
closet and the vibrator gets by by.
I don’t, yeah.
I’m so thrilled for everyone to hear that.
Thank you so much.
So what about like, okay, I’ve always wondered like people like butt balls, like what’s the
advantage of a butt ball?
I wouldn’t say like an advantage.
It’s just something you either like it or you don’t.
Do you like it?
Do you like a butt ball?
It’s like I do like to do butt stuff on my partner.
So I think it’s always very fair that like if they want to do something on me, I let
them do it.
Oh my God.
Diego, you’re the sweetest.
Where was he when we were procreating?
He’s like, I want to do something with your butt.
But you can also mess with my butt.
That brings me to another question.
Turnabout butt play.
I’m all ears.
Do people, is it like routine for people to lick each other’s assholes?
Because people will say, I hate her ass.
I mean, apparently with the young kids, it is now like I, like, you know, I’m still 43.
You know, my partner’s 33, so she’s younger.
But all I hear is like, kids are always joking about eating ass and shit.
I’m like, man, this next generation is like, that’s the kiss on the lips of, I mean, everybody’s
just getting queer and more loosey goosey with their morals.
Again, even with a good fresh shower, I think I’d be out.
But Diego prefers no shower.
So would you lick an ass with no shower, Diego?
And I have.
All I can say is I think I have a real strong immune system.
I can’t catch COVID or at least I’ve, man, I’ve been trying, like, dude, I…
Five days off.
Has somebody ever licked your ass?
And if so, does it feel good?
Is there some turn on to it?
Yeah, for sure.
It feels good.
I think there’s the…
And everybody has different erogenous zones, you know?
But for sure, there’s like nerve endings there that make things feel good or people wouldn’t
be into ass play all the time.
You know, I’ve also like done tattoos for a living at different stages in my life.
And people say like different areas hurt on them, you know, and it’s because some people
say, oh, that’s funny.
You know, my ribs didn’t hurt, but my knees hurt a lot.
What’s the same thing with erogenous zones?
You just have more nerves somewhere than other people.
And if somebody has more nerves in their butthole than other people, then they’re probably gonna
like butt play more than a regular person.
You know, what I like is now, Angie, you have a new word in your arsenal, butt play.
A little butt play.
I like butt stuff too.
You like to do butt stuff?
You know, when you’re talking to somebody, like, you know, like getting to know somebody
on the dating apps or something, you might want to be like, hey, I’m just curious, are
you into the butt stuff?
You into the butt stuff?
Into the butt stuff.
If you had to pick your voyeur right now, would it be a male or a female?
For me, the biggest turnout would be a female.
Let me ask you this.
Does the female, does she get to comment?
That’s a great question.
You know what?
That hadn’t even occurred to me, but if they were like-
These are questions that need to be asked before you start interviewing voyeurs.
And we’re here to help just for the sheer fascination of it.
I see that.
I like it.
You bring it up.
I like it.
We’re just good old girls from Oklahoma.
This is a whole new world for us.
No, that’s very interesting.
That’s very interesting.
I never actually thought about that, but that’s something I could discuss with my partner.
What if y’all come up to all agreements and then the voyeur goes off script?
It could be like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.
I think at some point I want to follow up with you after you do it.
I think that’s hilarious.
That’s another thing I never considered.
What if they go super off script?
You’ve got to be careful about this voyeur.
They could really come in and try to throw a grenade in the whole thing.
So Diego, if you were to give Pump some advice, I think she needs to get back out there in
the dating world.
Well, you know what?
If you were to give her some advice, what advice would you give this fabulous woman
here to just get back out there, get into it, but play the whole nine?
First of all, I would say go out there if you want to do it for yourself.
You don’t have to if you’re happy.
That’s a thing also that it’s like when people are looking to be happy in a relationship,
if they’re not happy by themselves, they’re not going to be happy in a relationship.
You have to be happy with yourself first before you start dating people.
So sometimes if you’re in a place in life where you’re happy by yourself and everything’s
going along and then sometimes you meet the right person when you weren’t even looking
for them, I find that works most of the time rather than people that are out constantly
looking for the right person in the wrong place.
What about a dating app?
What about a dating app for Pumps?
I’ve never used one.
I’ve always been like real world.
Have you guys ever heard the joke that everything’s a dating app if you’re creepy enough?
No, but I love it.
Yeah, so it’s like I do remember one time I started dating somebody that I had met from
Instagram and I don’t want to say I went on to regret it because it was a huge learning
experience in my life, but I definitely in the future going prefer to not meet somebody
that’s long distance and then try to make it work because I think that’s a whole different
bucket of worms.
So I think what you’ve got to understand about Pumps is if the person lives in a different
state, that is an asset for her, not a deficit because then she would only have to see them
once a month, once every two months because that’s about how much you could tolerate,
That’d be about right.
I’m a long distance dater, except.
Yeah, I mean that’s the thing about the apps too though.
If you like put in what you’re looking for and you can find somebody, you find an app
that has the right algorithm or the right search function, that’s going to help you
find somebody that’s looking for the same things you’re looking for, then yeah, that’s
probably a benefit, you know?
And that’s where I think the dating maps might come in handy if people have real specific
things of what they’re looking for, you know?
Like there’s, I forgot what they’re called, but I think they might be called feeders,
but there’s people that like have a fetish for feeding overweight people and just like
they constantly like to feed them and help them get fatter.
I know that fetish exists.
So they’re feeders, they feed people to make them fatter?
What I’m saying is like if you have an app, it’s probably easier to find an app with the
right search function that’s going to help you find that than if you just walk around
to overweight people and be like, hey, can I feed you?
And you see what I’m saying?
Like if you’re going for something very specific, you might be better off on the app.
I was like, maybe you could put like, I’m into butt play, I’m into butt play in a long
Call me Pumps.
For a good time, call Pumps.
For a good time, call Pumps.
I could put butt play and strap on, come with strap on.
Oh, you would strap it on.
You would be, you would butt play on him.
You reverse it.
You flip the script.
I wear the strap on.
Flip that shit.
Flip that shit, Larry.
Do you want to be a dom?
Like, have you ever explored that?
I have, I find that so interesting, but no, I haven’t.
It doesn’t mean you have to do it as a job or anything, but it’s like, just by what you
said and maybe it’s like, you know, maybe you want to like try to hook up with a submissive
man that where you’re the one in charge in the bedroom, you know?
I like it.
So here’s her profile.
I think you could help us with this.
I’m into reverse butt play.
Flip that script, butt play, and you can have a little whip.
I can have a little whip.
I could do that.
I like it.
I could do that.
I like it.
Diego, that’s amazing.
Diego, will you tell us, I heard from Jen that you are an amazing artist.
Will you tell us about your art?
She is correct.
I’m a artist.
I, I enjoy painting and it’s very funny because just recently I made a sculpture that some
people might call assemblage art because you’re assembling things together.
It’s not actually like sculpting clay, but a lot of people still call it sculpture.
And I really enjoyed that very much.
And I was speaking to our dealer in New York who would be interested in promoting that.
And so in the near future, I think at least for a while, I’m going to be switching from
painting to this form of sculpting or assemblage art as some people call it.
So some of the pieces are pretty big and it’s not really what you like, just pick up,
you know, like going through Etsy.
It’s like, you know, really gallery pieces.
It’s not a coffee table item.
It’s like gallery pieces for like serious collectors and stuff like that.
So my Instagram is just Diego Garijo, the way my name is spelled.
Not Mr. Butthole.
That’s just my, like I said, Mr. Buthole.
That’s a family name that we use for Zizooms.
The way to reach me or look at my art is through my Instagram, Diego Garijo.
You’re a beautiful woman.
You really are.
And then the fighting one, the contrast, I like that, but it’s in Spanish or is it French?
He already told us that.
But then he said it was French.
No, that’s just my Zoom name.
My Zoom name is French for some reason.
But he is ethnically Mexican.
I was born in Mexico.
I’m like, yeah, mostly, well, actually my 23andMe says otherwise, but I identify as
Spanish is my first language and I was born in Mexico, so I see myself as Mexican.
Well, Diego, thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
I mean, this is very eye-opening and interesting, and I appreciate how open you are.
I especially appreciate how everything is deferred to your girlfriend, that you’re game
for anything, but it goes at her pace and whatever she’s comfortable with.
More men like Diego need to be out there.
Yeah, I think so.
And I really enjoy sex a lot, and I’m really grateful to be with a partner that does as
well because rarely a day goes by that we don’t have sex.
So I think for guys listening out there, that if you’re having problems with your partner,
not guys, anybody that’s having a hard time with their partner, it’s like maybe just try
listening more what they want.
And then if you can make sure you’re fulfilling their needs, I think they’ll be more likely
to fulfill your needs.
I like it.
It’s a great tip.
Thank you so much, Diego.
Thank you for having me on.
And I’ll always have a link in my bio where you can click and see any paintings for sale.
I just tore my biceps, so I would love to sell some.
I love it.
So, I mean, I think that’s really interesting.
He’s just like everything you would want in a partner.
And I just love how open he is that you can just…
And the questions that I know you were asking about, he’s sniffing toes, sniffing asses.
He’s doing all of it.
And you could just ask him a question.
He doesn’t act offended.
And he just answered these questions that we needed answers to.
The only thing that I don’t think I could do would be sex every day, every single day.
I mean, the soccer moms in America just about went, ugh, it’s a lot of sex.
You could include this in your future dating app profile.
That will do it.
An ass eater.
I want an ass eater, butt play.
Butt play, but it’s the reverse butt play.
Reverse butt play.
You’re saying, you’re not getting in my ass.
I’m getting in your ass.
I’m getting in your ass, motherfucker.
And then you could browbeat him.
What is this podcast evolved into?
No, it’s bad.
We got to end it.
This is the lowest hanging fruit.