I've Had It - Purity Culture Club

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How’s your camel toe prevention going?

My camel toe prevention, I have been diligent.


I actually just forgot.

I just lied to you.

I haven’t thought about it one time since.

What mystifies me is do you feel it?


Obviously I didn’t feel it.


If you could see it and I didn’t notice it.

What have you had it with this week?

Oh my gosh.

This is like, you’re going to love this.

Women that baby talk.

It’s unbelievable when adult women baby talk.

It is.

I mean like if you’re like googly goo with a child or a pet, that’s fine.

I’m talking like grown ass women, oh pookie punky bear, will you get me another cocktail?

And I’m just like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

I mean it’s bizarro.

Have you not?

No, it is.

If I was at a girl that worked for me a long time ago and she would talk to her husband

like an abnormal amount of times during the day and we’d be in the middle of a meeting

and she would be speaking normally, then all of a sudden it would be like, oh hi, yeah,

I’m just sending, I’m making copies, yeah, and then I’m going to send an email and I’m

like why are you talking to him like that?

Why are you talking like that?

You live together, Andy’s an adult.

I don’t even care if they live together.

No one should baby talk as a grown up.

Had it.

Had it with baby talk.


No, I mean, I think that you can get some men, little titty baby men that do some baby


Like to their wives, like, oh, will you bring me another beer please?

Little titty babies.

I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a baby talking male.

I’ll be on the lookout though.

I know.

I think that if the listeners know of any, I want that DM to us.

We need some data.


Name, age, contact information.



Instagram handle.


What is Welch?

I have had it up to my eyeballs with mega churches.

Which part?

Right out of the gates, let me just tell you, the architecture is terrible.


I mean, it is awful architecture.

Usually kind of more modern-y, trying to go for a modern feel.

It’s bad.


Modern has a, has a feel that like maybe it’s, you know, Frank Lloyd Wright or something.

But this architecture of these mega churches is awful.

That’s right out of the gates what I’ve had it with.


Can I just have a long list?


But let me just ask you one quick thing.


How many mega churches have you actually been in?

I’ve been in a couple.


So, you know, I was raised, I was born in Dallas, moved to Oklahoma city when I was

around seven.

And so I went to school in the suburban Oklahoma city area.

And a lot of the kids that I went to school with were big time mega churchers.



So I didn’t go to church.

My family’s not religious.

And I remember when I was like probably in junior high, this girls on my cheerleading

squad are like, have you ever been saved?

And I’m like, from what?

And they’re like, have you ever accepted Jesus as your Lord and personal savior?

And I’m like, no.

And they’re like, you need to, or you’re going to go to hell.

So I race home, tell my mother, my mother’s like, oh, that’s ridiculous, whatever.

So I go to church, to a mega church with my friend and I’ll never forget it.

We’re driving.

Her mom worked at UPS.

She’s like a middle-class family, right?

And she had a cup in the car full of coins and then she had a $20 bill on the dashboard.

We went to 7-Eleven and she was like, girls, please put like $5 or $10 of gasoline in the


And we pumped it.

So then I went to get the 20 and she goes, no, you’ll need to take the change inside

to pay for it with the change, because the 20 is for the church.

And let me tell you how big this church was.

And this is on my list too.

It was massive.

It’s got a light show.

It’s got a dunk tank.

It’s got a rock band.

It’s got a cheerleading squad.

I had never been, it was unbelievable.

And bad architecture, apparently.

Awful architecture.

So here’s my friend whose mom works at UPS, who’s like, we’re literally counting dimes

to pay for gasoline, but the church gets the 20.

This preacher lives in this huge mansion, right?

His wife comes waltzing in to the congregation with this mink coat on.

And I immediately knew at 13 that that was a racket.

I immediately knew.

Wasn’t it subsequently busted as a racket?

Well, aren’t they all?

I think it was that Joel Olsteen, that some plumber was doing some work at that megachurch

down in Houston, and they found all these envelopes stuffed with cash in the wall.

Oh, I didn’t know that.


And he’s the same asshole that when they had that big hurricane in Houston, that he wouldn’t

like let people come shelter in his massive megachurch.

Mind you, he has like two or three PJs.

Private jets.


And here’s the deal.

If you are that loaded, okay, and you don’t have to pay taxes on your church, hire a good



So have you been in the one that you drive by on Pickleball?

Have you ever been inside?



But then how do you know it’s not fabulous inside?

I mean, I’ve never been in either, so I can’t argue it either way.

So are you making that maybe don’t judge a book by its cover?

Well, I mean, maybe.

I don’t know.

I’m just going to tell you.

I’m going to take a wild stab at it based on the outside.

I bet it’s a disaster on the inside.

You think it’s just a dump?

There’s no doubt.

There is no doubt.

It is so…

The architecture is so bad, and I have had it.

I mean-

Had it.

Had it.

But I think we have something really fun that we need to share with our listener.


Lay it on me.

We have, in addition to Nellie and Jen and Richard, we have a new producer that has joined


Who we love.

She’s the best, best, best.



Kylie, say hi to our listeners.

Hello, listeners.

You can tell she’s really excited.


I think we might be more excited than she is.


No, they can’t see, but I just peed my pants.

That’s how excited.

So she’s joining Jen and Nellie, and she is…

Are you on the cusp of like Gen Z millennial?

I’m millennial.

You’re a millennial?


Nellie’s a millennial.

You and I are Gen X.

Jen’s Gen X.

Richard, what are you?

I’m a millennial.

How old are you, Richard?


Oh, okay.

So we don’t have a Gen Zer.

We don’t have a Gen Zer.

You know, pumps is on the cusp of…

I’m not on the cusp of being a baby boomer.

I am not.

That is a lie.

I am much younger than you.

Four years is not that much younger.

Four years is nothing.

I want to welcome everybody to our podcast.

I’ve had it.

I’m Jennifer.

I’m Angie.

AKA Pumps.


And today we are going to talk about something that we have absolutely had it with, and it

is the abstinence-only culture, which we think is a recipe for failure.

It’s a recipe for grandchildren too soon.

And born-again virgins.

Once that cherry’s popped, it’s popped.

No going back.

And purity rings.

Yeah, I’ve been around some purity rings in my day.

I’ve never had one, but I know people that do.

That have purity rings?

Well, that have given them to their kids.

The parents give them to the kids?


You don’t think the kids are buying them, do you?

I just think that is so…

It’s just an extra layer of guilt, I think.

A total extra layer of guilt, because here’s what really gets in my craw about this, okay?

We are genetically hardwired to reproduce.

It is literally in our genes, our DNA as a species.

We eat, we sleep, we screw.

It is in our DNA.

And then you have this part of culture that wants to suppress something that is literally

you’re genetically encoded to do, which is to reproduce.

So then you have all this crap that comes out.

You’ve got porn addicts, shame, men with Madonna complexes.

And you know what they turn out to be?

Three things.


A quick shot.

Quick shot?

A soft serve.

Soft serve.

Or a gyrator.

All three, not good.

None of them are good.

None are good.



You think that’s mommy complex or just bad sex?

Probably shouldn’t need to do some independent research on what causes soft serve.

Maybe we should bring our guest on.


We are so envious of our guests because she has the best job in the world.

She watches television, all types of television, reality scripted and documentaries, true crime.

And then she has a podcast two to three times a week and she has the producers of the podcast

on, the directors.

She gets to the deep dark bottom of it.

She also is a contributor at Us Weekly.

And so without further ado, let’s welcome our guest, the host of Reality Life with Kate


Kate Casey.

Hi, Kate.



Thank you so much for being here.

The habit that is firing you guys up this week, what is it?

So the born again virgins, the purity rings and the abstinence only concept, which I think

is just a recipe for complete failure.

And five kids.

Well, clearly I’m not doing the purity thing.

I think it’s gross.

It’s weird controlling fathers that perpetuate this myth that you’re going to have everlasting

happiness if you wait until you get married, which might work for some, but a very small

percentage of the world.

And this whole idea of like giving them a ring and you’re like married to your dad is

super creepy and weird.

And then all the celebrities that have over the years partaked in this, like the Jonas

brothers, they did this whole like purity.

You know that they’re just mortified about that now.

And then I remember Jessica Simpson, when she was engaged to Nick Lachey, when she was

on the newlyweds, the whole story was she’s saving herself to marriage, which gross about

that is that she had this big celebrity wedding.

And you can just imagine all the people that were like, well, she’s going to do it tonight.

I don’t think anybody should know you’re about to do it for the first time.




And plus it’s like buying a car.

Would you buy a car without test driving it?



Would you marry someone that you hadn’t had sex with?


What if they’re terrible?

What if they’re a quick shot, a gyrator, all the many pitfalls of bad sex?

Well, one thing that I think we need to talk about, and I know you’ve covered this on your

podcast and it is the abstinence only culture at Liberty University.

And as everybody knows, Jerry Falwell Jr. was the president of Liberty University.

And these students, they, let me read to you guys some of the rules.

No sex, no kissing, three second maximum on hugs.

They charge, they charge any student who spends the night with the opposite sex with 30 reprimands.

Even couples who are not talking or touching can be reprimanded for quote, optical intercourse.


Or making eye babies.

And that’s written down somewhere in their bylaws or something.

Spoiler alert, Jerry Falwell Jr. had optical intercourse when he watched his wife get plowed

by the pool boy.



Like he liked to watch.

It was kind of creepy, that documentary.


So Kate, why don’t you tell us, I know that you covered that on your podcast, but did

you find out any juicy scoop about that?

Yes, because I interviewed the director, Billy Corpin, who’s absolutely hilarious and one

to follow on social media.

He got an incoming email, he and his partner from Juan Carlo, who was the pool boy, who

said, I’m ready to tell my story.

So they set out to tell this crazy story.

And it is absolutely frustrating.

It’s hypocrisy personified.

And yeah, he was president of the school.

He was absolutely a drinker.

So they’re not allowed to drink.

They’re not allowed to have sex.

He’s a complete alcoholic.

They were so controlling over the population, the students, telling them how to behave,

especially when it came to sexuality.

And meanwhile, they’re having this very strange relationship with a young pool boy in Miami.

So that’s weird.

But it also reminds me of all the people I knew who went to super religious schools.

Like there was this one in Pennsylvania called Messiah College.

And they had this weird rule that if you had somebody in your room, the door always had

to be open, like to a certain degree.

And there had to be lights on and one foot on the floor at all times, as if you can’t

bone somebody with one foot on the floor.

It’s just making different sexual positions.

Thomas, why don’t you tell Kate about your own personal research on young Mormon sex?


Jennifer didn’t think.

She thought I was lying when I told her this.

There is a thing that the Mormons do called soaking.

And that’s where the male puts his penis in the vagina, but they don’t move.

They just soak.

And then if they get it on a bunk bed, they get on the top and the person at the bunk

underneath starts moving the bed.

So there’s friction there, but technically they’re not having sex because they’re not


And it’s called soaking.

It’s real.

I Googled it.

It is real.

And they actually do have the other person in the room that shakes the bed.

And Kylie and I found some stuff on TikTok about it.

So there’s like the Mormon fluffer that fluffs the bed, which I think is far more kinky and

far more egregious than Sally and Willie that have been dating for a year and just can’t

keep their hands off of each other and try to decide to take it over the finish line.

So these Mormon teens, and some of them are even having butt sex, which I think is far

more egregious.

Far worse.



I almost think they’re not telling the truth because they know my reaction is so horrified,

but that like younger girls are preferring just to have ass sex so they can have, be

technically a virgin.

So let me ask you this on the purity rings.

If you have the purity ring, is it just vaginal intercourse?

Or is there like a-

Or does your daddy talk to you about other stuff that, or are you not supposed to do


Oh, I would imagine that you can’t do anything, but I think that like the soaking situation,

there’s always a loophole that you can kind of get around.

So listen to this, Jen Morton, our producer, was telling me, she’s heard of this called

a hymenoplasty, okay?

So they laser the vagine.

So somebody like from the Middle East or somebody here who wants to be a born again virgin,

they laser the vagine back.

So you’ve already had sex, your hymen’s broken, but you don’t want anybody to know.

So you go to the vagine doctor, you get the vagine kind of lasered together so that on

your wedding night, penis enters, blood flows, everybody thinks you’re a virgin.

Okay, this is a real surgery.

You’ve got to be kidding me.


Isn’t it true that like 50% of the people that don’t have sex don’t have a hymen?

I mean, it’s not like it’s 100% of the time.

You can lose it exercising.


There’s a million ways.

Why wouldn’t you just say, I broke it exercising, or I don’t know, a tampon.

No, it’s a big deal in Middle Eastern cultures.

I mean, like they go to look to make sure that there is blood on the sheets.

So I mean-

Who goes and looks?

The people, the family.

The family?


Oh my gosh.

Okay, that’s a problem.

I’m just imagining my own weird parents partaking of this.

They would be such weirdos about it.

And this is already a weird situation.

Oh, it’s awful.

So let’s move on to, I want to talk about celebrities that are born again virgins.

Okay, what’s a born again virgin?

So it means you’ve already had sex with other people.

It’s like reinventing history.

It’s reinventing history to accommodate the life plan that you decided that you wanted

to have after you made the mistake of having sex already.

One could call it revisionist history.



So me and I looked up the definition on Urban Dictionary for born again virgin, and it is

somebody who has not had sex in over a year, which I think might qualify you, Pumps.

Oh, congratulations.

Yes, thank you.

Okay, wait, hold on.

I do, on this topic of the born again virgin, that’s why I wanted to know, I’ve had an experience

with a parent that told me that they prayed her daughter’s virginity back.




No, she said it.

Out loud.

Out loud to other people.

So let me get this straight.


Daughter, pops cherry.


Has sex.


Mom and dad madder than a hornet.

So upset.

Dropped to their knees.


Restore virginity.


Oh, wow.

And then she said that to you out loud.


She did not say it to me, but she said it to several people that reported it to me,

trustee sources, people that would not make this shit up.

And it’s like, there was no self-awareness that that sounded crazy.

First of all, why aren’t you talking about your daughter’s sex habits?

Here’s you know.

That’s the problem.

That’s a huge problem.

Here’s the problem with the abstinence only stuff.

Other than children?


Other than children is number, I mean, I think there’s deep psychological issues, residue

from that.

It’s, you don’t have sex.

You don’t have sex.

You can’t have sex.

You have to keep yourself clean.

You have to keep yourself pure.

Well then little Sally starts dating little Willie and let’s hope for little Sally’s sake,

it’s big Willie.

But nonetheless, they’ve been dating for a year or two and they’re 19, 20 and of course

they’re going to want to screw.


Of course they are.

But then she does and then she feels dirty and then you have this lifetime of shame.

And I think the data shows that people, abstinence only education where you don’t know how to

use contraceptions, yes, you’re going to have more unwanted pregnancies.

You’re going to have more STDs.

You’re not going to be wrapping it before you tap it.

I mean, there’s just a lot of problems with not teaching kids how to have sex.

I agree.


Because they’re going to have it.

These parents being so involved in it, that creeps me out.

Have the conversations where you’re like, this is what sex means.

This is what it’s like.

This is why you want to save yourself for as long as you can and be with the right person.

But being that much involved is super creepy.


Especially with the purity rings.

It’s really creepy.

I mean, with my kids, I have a son that’s 20 and it’s just like as a mother to a male,

I’m like, you are responsible for where you deposit that.

Don’t put it on her.



And I think that for women, sex is a little bit more emotional.

It feels differently.

It has a different take on it.

And always go at a woman’s pace, but be vigilant in protecting her from pregnancy.

Other than that, it’s just not my business.



It just isn’t.

And I think you have-

That’s what I don’t like about the ring too.

It’s like inserting yourself literally into a conversation that is absolutely none of

your business.

But I want to go back to this.

The dad gives it to the daughter?


He gives her a ring and it’s like, you’re making a promise to me that you will save

yourself until marriage.

It’s like she’s marrying her dad in a way.

And I think mothers give them too.

But also I read that men, some boys, they give them to boys too, which I think always

it falls on the female.

But a guy with a purity ring, that to me just screams gay.

I just think it’s like, why are you inserting as a parent your control over your child’s


They need to explore that and figure that out on their own, whether they’re gay, straight,

bisexual, whatever.

It’s not about you.

It’s about them and their own experience.

Much like I don’t want anybody to insert themselves in a conversation about what I do.


It’s weird.


It is no one’s business.

But I do, I mean, I’ve even been in situations where other mothers are talking about the

sex lives of kids that aren’t even theirs, like speculating as to who these high school

kids are sleeping with.

And I’m like, that right there tells me you are horrendous.


You’re just not even a good person.

Like why do you give a shit?

Grown adults that are consumed with teenagers who are pumping with hormones, who are consumed

with their sex lives.

It’s just more than I can take.

It’s more than I can take.

Yes, it is.

But what I do want to talk about with you, Kate, because you are the pop culture expert

with all of this reality TV you watch, I want to talk about some celebrities who have taken

the purity pledge or the pledge to be born again virgins.

So one of the Jonas Brothers, he said, his name was Kevin Jonas.

He waited until marriage to have sex.

And then after he had sex, he said, sex wasn’t really worth the wait.

That sounds like a very bad endorsement of his sex skills.

He meets this girl on like a Disney vacation, I think it was like a cruise.

His family, her family, same cruise ship.

And they kept in touch and they got married really young.

So this whole idea of like, well, we were saving ourselves for marriage.

I’m like, you didn’t even save yourself for college.

You just like, it’s not like you were waiting that long.

I do know in Oklahoma, like when people get married, like when you hear of like a 19 or

20 year old getting married, I always am like, oh my God, they’re getting married to have



Sounds like the Jonas deal.

Which I’m like, you don’t have to get married to have sex.


I mean, don’t marry the first Tom, Dick and Harry that you want to have sex with.

Do you remember, y’all remember when Sarah Palin was the vice presidential, how could

you forget?

When she was the vice presidential candidate and she had those five kids like Trigg and

Leaf and Branch and Grass, you remember all those kids.

And so she was all about abstinence only education, right?

Well, I mean, her kids all start getting knocked up.

I mean, every single one of them.

And then those Duggars, you know, that’s a whole nother thing.


But I mean, look at how that turns out.

You got 95.

But that’s another, that’s another dad who had inserted himself in his child’s sexuality.


And it was so controlling to the point where you’re going to go on your first date and

I’m tagging along.

Like why are you involved in their dating and their sexuality?

Then you think about anybody in one of these families that is not straight, what that must

feel like for them.

They’re like the pressure of like, I want to be out and be who I really am.

And I have the added pressure of a parent that like is wedging me into a sexuality that

I, that does not fit for me.

And you’re tagging along and telling me what.

It’s like, it’s the too much control.

It just, it’s so upsetting.

How is somebody supposed to have like an interpersonal intimate relationship with someone they’re

not allowed to see outside of being with their parents?

Well, I mean, I guess they could have optical intercourse.

Optical intercourse.

Oh, wait.

Eye babies is like, I got to remember that one.

Eye babies.

So here’s a good one.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon dated.

So they decided that they were going to abstain until marriage.

And then now he has 12 children with six different women.

So this is anecdotal evidence nonetheless, but anecdotal evidence that this born again

virgin bullshit is just that.

It is such bullshit because here’s my thing too.

So you popped your cherry, you’ve done it, you’ve had sex.


And then you’re trucking along your 30 something.

You’re Mariah Carey.


I mean like that Christmas song alone, can you imagine what the interest on that thing




$7 million a year I’ve lifted up.

Oh my gosh.


So you’re Mariah Carey.

Mariah Carey, I mean, she’s sexy.

She can…


Why on earth, if you’re in a relationship with somebody as a grown ass woman, are you

not screwing them?



I mean, seriously, like we only, and especially at the beginning, like that’s the best sex

there is.

That’s when you’re right.


That’s the best sex.



And then you postpone it and then you’ve got Nick Cannon, the two pump chump.


I mean, and you know, I mean, no wonder this, you know, Kevin Jonas said it wasn’t that


You know, it was like horrible.

The soak, the quick shot and it was over.

And he was like, he probably didn’t learn to enjoy sex until much later.

Well, hopefully he did learn.


On the job training, it sounds like though.

So Kate, you know, I always think when somebody has a lot of kids, I think, why on earth do

they have so many kids?

And you have five.

Because my first instinct is always like a recoil.

Do you get that to people?

People ask me if I’m Mormon or Catholic.

I tell them I’m an Episcopalian baby hoarder.

Here’s the big secret of the world.

Having a lot of kids means I do less work because they all play together.


The older ones babysit.

They do work for me.

And also no one asked me to do anything because they think I’m too busy.

I’ve never helped out at the school to show up, drop off and leave it like, oh, she’s

too busy.

You’re damn right.

I am.


And it’s funny because when I have the babies, I like love labor.

I’m not a normal person.

I show up to the hospital.

I’m like, what’s up, what’s up?

Stop it.

You love labor.

I love it.

Because it’s fun.

It’s so fun.

I have the last baby.

I had a sign in the back that said, pray for my vagina.

And then I had 10 friends in the room and all the nurses come in and they’re like, what’s

going on?

Because there’s so much downtime.

It’s boring.

Do you have an epidural?


And it’s boring.

And my friends bring in champagne.

Somebody brings in food.

We just laugh the whole time.

You’re probably the first person I’ve ever met that likes labor.

Didn’t say like.

Oh, I love it.




Loves labor.

Well, Kate, I cannot thank you enough.


Thank you.

Thank you.


Remember that?

Maybe Lilo and Stitch.



Means family.

Oh, yeah.

Have so much fun.

Have a great vacation.

Thank you so much.






She’s great.

Is she not great?

What about the loving giving birth?

Never heard that ever in my entire life.

I haven’t either.

That’s interesting, isn’t it?

Now I’ve got to like circle back around.

Well, but what about a, what are they called?

What is Kim?

What are they called?

I can’t believe.



They’ve got to love it.


Remember you had kind of toyed with.

You said that you wouldn’t mind being a surrogate.

No, I wouldn’t.

I should have kept my uterus.

I should have kept my person’s surrogate because I was a great pregnant person, had no problems.

I should have done that.

I would have been good at it because I certainly wouldn’t want to take the baby home.

What if it was your egg?

I don’t think I’d care.

You’d just give that egg up?


I mean, if it’s somebody else’s kid, would they?

No, your egg.

No, I know.

But I mean like if it was like we decided beforehand like they were going to use my


Like a gay friend’s sperm.

A gay friend’s sperm.

I would not care.

You wouldn’t want to see what that baby was doing?

Probably not.

Assuming I had my three kids.


Yeah, no.

I’d be good with that.


Would you not?


I would feel very possessive about my offspring.

You would?



Even if it wasn’t Josh’s?

If you did it knowing going in you were going to give it to somebody else?


If it was mine.


Whoever the male’s was wouldn’t matter.

But if it’s my egg, I carried it to term.

I would want that baby.

Yeah, I don’t think I would.

You’d just give that baby?



It would have to be somebody that I really thought would be a good parent that would

love the baby and be devoted to the baby.

I wouldn’t just like sell it on eBay or anything.

Well, you know, I mean, I would make sure I knew the people, but I could detach.

I’ve Had It podcast where we sell babies on eBay.

On eBay.

Follow us at I’ve Had It podcast on Instagram, Tik Tok.

The really important thing, we want you to send a voice memo to at I’ve Had It podcast

on Instagram.

So follow us, go to message, and then you’ll see a little microphone at the bottom and

you push the microphone down and send us what you’ve had it with.

And then Pumps is going to read that out loud on a bonus content episode and we’re going

to go off on this topic and see if we agree, disagree.

What do you think about that Pumps?

I love it.

But you know, we did a whole episode on how I hated voice memos.

Now we’re telling people to do them.


But see, we kind of gaslight our audience.

We say this is a podcast about positivity.

It’s not.


But it is a podcast about positivity.

We hate voice memos.

Send us a voice memo.

All right.

Tell the people when we’re going to see them.

See you next Tuesday.

See you next Tuesday, everyone.


I’ve had it with that.

I’ve had it.

Had it.

Had it.

Had it.

All I can say about that is, I’ve had it.