I've Had It - Ninja Lesbians

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Welcome to this special I’ve Had It podcast bonus episode.

And I’m Jennifer, I’m Angie, and we are so happy to see you on this Thursday.

You see you in tees.

Pumps, how do you feel about the situation where you go through an email, okay, I go

through an email that I didn’t subscribe for, that’s a solicitation that I didn’t sign up


So then I click unsubscribe, okay?

And I want it to end there.

I’ve broken up to a relationship that was forced upon me.

One could even go as far as to call it email rape.

I didn’t consent, okay?

So I unsubscribe, right?

And then I think it’s done.

And then I get a follow-up email confirming that I’ve unsubscribed, and then they want

me to click more buttons.

I think, here’s what I think about that, because I’ve had that many times.

I think they, if you don’t do it a couple other times, if you just think you’re done,

they can still send you emails.

I think they make it where it’s harder to unsubscribe than just hitting one button.

What I want to know is how many people that are solicited via email actually buy shit?

You know, I don’t know, but I would liken it to, remember that one time we were at Sonic

and they were all, every time we would order, you know, we went two vanilla Cokes, whatever,

and then they’d say, would you like extra tater tots with that?

Would you like cheese balls with that?

Stuff like that.

And you would just get infuriated.

Sonic have cheese balls?

Or the cheese, I don’t know what they are, but there’s like cheese in the middle, fried

cheese something.

And one time you were furious and you go, do people actually buy stuff that you suggest

at the end?

I said that to the Sonic person?


And you know what he said?


Yes, they do.

Almost all the time.

So I think it’s the same with the email.

I think people are ordering off the email.

They’re feeding that stray cat.

They’re feeding the stray cat.

They are feeding that stray cat and everybody needs to stop.

The email terrorism is out of control and nobody’s doing anything about it.

It’s going on right now, invasions of inboxes without consent and everybody just acts like

it’s okay.

That’s not okay.

It’s not okay.

And everybody just goes on with life and we’re all walking around like we’re not being violated

and we are.

Right now, I guarantee you, I already have five.

I hate to tell you that I’ve kind of cracked the case on this where I just have a separate

email for all the bullshit that I don’t want.

Yeah, that’s smart.

I mean, I just-

That’s smart.

Everything goes in there.

Everything I buy off the internet goes in there.

That’s smart.

All of that.

And then I don’t see it, but here’s what did fuck me this last Christmas because I’m proud

to say I did not go into one store for Christmas shopping.

Did everything online.

Not really big into that shop local thing?

No, not big at shopping at all.

But so for a couple of the discounts, it was like for 15% off, put your cell phone

or email or whatever.

So I put my cell phone in.

I get texts.

That’s a rookie mistake.

I know.

And I have three different ones.


And I don’t know how to stop them.

You never give your phone number.

I know.


It was bad.

It was really, really bad.

Well, what we want to do today is hear from the listener what they have had it with.


Lead us off.

Who do we have?


We’ve got Alyssa S.



I’ve had it with play days for toddlers that are like, you know, under five, under six.

This play date ends up being me forced to hang out with parents.

I don’t want to hang out at my most recent play date.

I went on, which I really didn’t want to go to the mom, bent my arm.

She pulled out a ukulele.

I wanted to do a group sing along.

There is nothing less I want to do.

I couldn’t get out of there quick enough.

Never once have I wanted to be like, oh my God, I got to shit my pants and actually shit

my pants just to get out of the situation.

The ukulele.

I’ve had it.

That is horrible.

I have had it.

Oh my gosh.

I don’t even know what I would do if someone had that ukulele.

That is awful.

That is that positive and that good of a mood all the time that when you’re hanging out

with toddlers, you’re going to bust out a ukulele, sing along, get the fuck away from



I can’t.

I can’t with that.

It’s too much.

It’s too much.

It’s too much.

It is interesting, Alyssa.

I had the exact same problem.

So one of my son’s play dates around five, six ish, we invited the kid over.

His mother stayed the entire play date with the child’s little sister at my house.

In my head, I’m thinking, why is she not leaving?

I think she just wanted to visit, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I was like, so when the kid left, the next time my son asked if so-and-so could come

over, I said, absolutely not.

I’m having a play date so that my kid is entertained by your kid.

And at no part of that does that mean I want to take on the mother to entertain.

I mean, it’s just unbelievable.

Do you think she was there because she was like a helicopter?

No, I think she was lonely because she did it to another friend of ours, a mutual friend,

the exact same setup.

And I hadn’t told her beforehand, but she had the exact same experience.

And then her kid was never allowed to have that kid over again either because nobody

wants the mother?



I had a situation with Dylan, my first, where he was probably in like second or third grade.

And the mom was like, hey, can Dylan come over to our house after school for like two


I’m like, you betcha.

Swing for the fences, take him.

And then I started getting these follow-up texts, like an itinerary, like I’ve planned

for us to play this from, you know, three to 3.30 and then we’re going to do puzzles.

And like three days before the play date, she texted me and told me that she was planning

the snack three days in advance and asked if Dylan had any food allergies.

And I literally just wanted to take my phone and just chunk it and just throw it.

I’m just like, what on earth?

If Dylan had food allergies, A, I’d let you know.


I’d tell you before you had to ask.


I would take that burden on.

And just, I just thought, good God, this is so pathetic.

Let the kids just get together and do whatever it is that they’re going to do and serve them.

You know, I mean, like the planning three days in advance, a toddler snack, I mean,

put a sock in it.


That is like, Jesus Christ, that’s dumb.

It’s just, I feel like that person probably would have done better with like a part-time




Kylie, who’s next?

Up next, we’ve got Rod R.

Rod R.

Hi, y’all.

I have had it with the good old boy system at the fucking four-way stop.

If you get there first, fucking go.

If we get there at the same time and you’re on the right, fucking go.

I hate this.

I pull up and they’re waving you on like, oh no, buddy, go ahead.

No, follow the rules.

Let’s all get to where we’re fucking going.

Y’all have a good day.

He’s 100% right.

He’s 100% right.

He’s 100% right.

This happens all the time.

I kind of think I might be an offender.

I bet you are.

Rod, I just hate that.

But Rod’s right.

He’s 100% right.

Do you know, I mean, it is, you can get into this tit for tat.

You go, then everybody like, accelerate, brake.

Right, right, right.

Accelerate, brake.

And it’s 100%.

I’m not, I’m not playing it anymore.

I, if that person’s on the right and we arrived at the same time, I will remain steadfast with

my foot on the brake.

I’m not, I’m not playing it anymore.

I, if that person’s on the right and we arrived at the same time, I will remain steadfast with

and it’s 100%.

I’m not, I’m not playing it anymore.

I, if that person’s on the right and we arrived at the same time, I will remain steadfast

with my foot on the brake.

Because the minute they wave me on, then they’re going to change their mind.


It’s chaos at the stop sign.


Now that’s true.

I’ve had it.

Yeah, I’m bad about that.

I need to get better.

I just on the way here today, I had that little issue.

I kind of go through this a little bit at pickleball.

So you have like, when you’re on the right side of the court, you know, that would be

considered if you’re right-handed, your backhand side.

And if you’re on the left side of the court, that’s your forehand side.

So any ball that goes down the center, the forehand takes, well, some of these girls

that I play with are poaching over on their backhand on my forehand shot and I have fucking

had it.

I’ve had it.

Linda, you know who you are.

She’s always coming over and poaching and it’s like, let my forehand take it.

And so it’s kind of chaos in the pickleball courts, chaos at the stop signs.

You’re so brave.

I’m an athlete.

I am a fucking athlete.

I’m sorry that you haven’t discovered like midlife athleticism, but the jealousy does

not look good on you.

Kylie, what’s next?

I can’t believe you were able to weave pickleball into that one.

No, it’s never ceases to amaze me.

It’s a gift.

We could say, hi, I have to go downstairs to pee and get five minutes of a pickleball


It’s unbelievable.

I mean, I think it just sits on her brain all day.

Don’t you think that most athletes have their sport on their brain?

Michael Jordan, Rafa Nadal, Roger Federer, Jennifer Welch in pickleball.

I mean, if there’s an Olympics for pickleball, I’m nowhere near good enough to be in it,

but I train as though and I give as much time commitment as though I’m supposed to.

I’m not half assed in this thing.

No, you are definitely not half assing it.

That’s right.


Up next, we’ve got Tammy M.

Here is what I’ve had it with.

I’ve had it with straight women using the term partner for their male boyfriend or male

husband period.

The term partner has been reserved and used by the gay community since existence because

we were not allowed to be legally married.

We used the term partner.

Now, it doesn’t bother me so much.

However, my partner, she’s what we call a lesbian ninja.

She is super feminine, so she walks amongst the straights completely undetected.

When she meets another female who starts talking about their partner, my ninja lesbian gets

all excited thinking she’s met another ninja lesbian only for that woman to whip out a

picture of her boyfriend or husband and totally shatter her dreams.

So straight people, stop using the term partner.

That’s ours.

It’s all we got.

I love it.

I love it.

A couple of things to unpack here.

First and foremost, she’s 100% right.

Straight people have gobbled that up and that’s not right.

That is exclusively for gay people, I think.


I agree with that.

Secondly, I’ve got to talk about ninja lesbians.

The first time I’ve ever heard it, we have got to dissect this shit because that is fucking

10 out of 10.

I had never heard that either and I love it.

So a ninja lesbian is the super feminine that dolls up.

According to Tammy, the ninja lesbian can go about and interact with the straights undetected

as a lesbian.


So she’s out like totally.

It’s like stealth lesbianism.


I mean, I play pickleball with a lot of lesbians and there’s a couple of them that if I didn’t

know that they were gay, they would definitely be ninja lesbians, but of course I know that

they are.


I love this whole ninja.

It’s a new word.

Is that a word that is common amongst the lesbian community?

I had never heard it.


All right.

So ninja lesbians.

New word from Tammy.

You are welcome here on I’ve Had It Podcast.

We want to know what you’ve had it with ninja lesbians, our new obsession.

New obsession.

Kylie, how do you feel about ninja lesbians?

I think I’m dating one.

You sure are.


For sure.

Anna is 100% a ninja lesbian.


She’s a walking Bratz doll.


You would never know.


Never in a million years.

Anna is 100% the poster child for a ninja lesbian.


She is.




Who’s next, Kylie?

The last one we’ve got is Danielle R.


All right, ladies, I have fucking had it with these boutique cycle bar or whatever you want

to call them, classes where they’re all pretending that they’re working out, but it’s just a

bunch of sexy people doing a circle jerk to genuine pony and other pop hits.

I don’t know about you, but if I wanted to do that, I could do that at home for free,

but I’m tired of seeing the videos online.

All right.

Love you, ladies.

So she’s had it with, is it spin class?

Spin class is what it sounds like to me.

So like the Peloton, the Pelotoners?

Or is it the class that like the cycle bar?

The Soul Cycles?


I see that on Instagram and it’s, there’s one girl that in particular that I follow

and it’s…


First of all, I’m just going to say I’m kind of, I’ve had it with people posting their

exercise videos online.


I think it’s like…

I’ve had it.


It’s bad.


You can ride a stationary bike.


You know, I mean…

You’re so talented.

You can stand up and down on the stationary bike to music.

Fucking awesome.

Good for you.

Let’s move on.


It’s like, you can run.


You can lift a weight.

We’re super proud of you.




No, it’s like a humble brag, I think.

It’s enough.

I mean, we all know, I think I’ve brought pickleball into this episode at least 25 times.

At least.

I don’t really post fucking pickleball videos, which is kind of surprising now that we think

about it.

Let me just say, if I had one of those little tripods that I could set up…

That’s too far.

That’s too far.

No, no, no.


I think maybe she’s talking about Peloton, too.

I just, I think she, yeah, I think she’s talking about the people.

I’ve seen it.

I’ve seen the stationary bicyclists posting Instagram videos, and they kind of like dance,

bounce up and down on the bike.

Now, I’ve seen that, too, but not, do people, do you get that in your feed, like, on the

reels part?

Because I get mukbang, and you’re rolling out with…

I get a lot of Frenchie travel interior design stuff.

I don’t get the mukbang, but there are some people that I follow that have their exercise

workouts day after day after day after day that now I finally muted because I don’t want

to see that person exercise anymore.

It’s not fresh.

I’m not into it.

Well, and I think there’s a narcissism that you think anyone gives a flying fuck what

you did for workout today.


Well, maybe they don’t.


You’re the only person that cares.

Now, I will say, I may have been an offender in the past, I did go to Orange Theory every


And at the end of Orange Theory class, you get a little report as to how much time you

spent in each heart rate zone.

And if I had a really good day, I would share my Orange Theory report on my Instagram story.

And as I’m telling you this, I acknowledge nobody gave a fuck.

You’re so lucky that I was not on Instagram until this October.

I acknowledge that it was probably not my best posting.



But I worked really hard for the calorie burn.

Orange Theory is fucking hard.

I’m not suggesting it’s not.

It was a story.

It wasn’t a permanent post.

It expired.

Yeah, that’s bad.

It was.

It was bad.

It was.

So you’re part of the problem.

I’m just so glad I wasn’t on Instagram then.

I’m going to get a tripod.

Because I would have lit you up.

I’m going to get a tripod and I’m going to start recording my pickleball matches.

Because so many people want to watch you play pickleball.

I think you might be surprised.

I think you might be surprised.

There could be 108 people in the Netherlands that want to watch me play pickleball.

So fuck off.

The Dutch.


The Dutch.

The Dutch.



Well, we would like to thank all of you so very much for joining us on this special episode

of I’ve Had It Podcast.

And we are so excited and love your direct messages on our Instagram account telling

us what you’ve had it with.

Why are you laughing?

I thought I did good.

You did good.

The voice memos.

What do I call them?

The voice memos that are direct messages.

Here’s the deal, people.

We’re not super techie.

No, we’re bad.

Just send us the voice memos.

Figure out how to do it.

If you don’t know how to do it, ask a kid to do it.

Go give us five stars, go write a review, subscribe, do all the shit you’re supposed

to do.

And we will see you next Tuesday.

See you next Thursday.

Or Tuesday.

Or both.

Either way.

It smells good.

I’ll tell you what I’ve had it with.

Let’s hear it.