Aware & Aggravated - 2. Why You Don't Like The Ones That Like You

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What’s up guys it’s time for episode 2 and I’m gonna rock this bitch cuz I’m gonna talk about a topic that hits

Close to home for everybody I think and it’s why you don’t like the people back that like you

I’m talking about in a relationship like it just seems like the ones that like me

Uh, like I don’t have no fucking interest and if I do it’s short-lived or I can force myself to like them

But then it fizzles out

Before I get into all that I need to tell you about what happened to me the other day

So I’m driving to the gym and I’m having a great fucking day like I’m in a great mood

I got on a good fucking song and I’m like in the car dancing doing my thing

I’m pointing like, you know, you’d be dancing you just like throw your hands around

I’m like pointing at shit on the beat like with my pointer finger and I’m just like having a little time and I

Like driving to the gym. So there’s a cop driving the opposite way of me

And I’m over here a beat bopping going down the road and all of a sudden this cop flips its lights on and

Like spins around in the middle of the road and I was like, oh shit

Somebody’s getting pulled the fuck over and I’m like, I just go back to dance and I’m like having a good time

this cop pulls right the fuck up behind me and

Flashes the lights and I was like fuck he already had them on but then he like flashed him and like put them back on

And I’m like god damn it. Is he pulling me over cuz like I wasn’t speeding

So the fuck is he in my ass for right now?

So I just keep driving like I’m like it ain’t me it ain’t me

So I just keep driving and then he starts like tailgating me like getting up right up close to my bumper and I’m like fuck

It’s me

So I pull over

This cop comes to the window. Okay, I

Don’t like cops. I’m just gonna go ahead and get that out of the way

My fight-or-flight response kicks on every fucking time. I have to deal with one

I will lie and manipulate and kiss ass to do whatever I have to do to get away from a goddamn cop because I have

A bad experience with cops

Terrible like they always fuck with me. I always get the corrupt one and if you piss them off

They have this tiniest little fuse and they have the most sensitive and fragile of egos

And if you fuck with them in any way, they will fuck you in any way they can ten times harder. So

I’m very on edge whenever I have to deal with a cop and this cop comes to the window and I literally am like

I don’t want this cop to come up to me and be like, what did you do? Do you know I pulled you over?

No motherfucker. I have no idea but like I don’t want to sound like a smartass if I’m like no

I have no clue

So I’m like shit like all these things are going through my head this fucker this fat fucking white cop

Like, you know the vibe that I’m going like the bald old fucking white man

With nothing better to do in his goddamn day comes up to my window and goes I saw you flip me off back there

What gives you the right and I immediately?

bust out laughing

Like I start pissing myself and I said, I don’t mean any disrespect because I know that I’m laughing

But I know how it looks but I promise you I just had on a really good song and I was dancing and it wasn’t

My middle finger. It was my pointer finger. Like I was just like bopping to the beat

And he kind of looked at me like you like that look of like yeah bullshit

So I was like, I know how it looks like I know this doesn’t sound believable

Like I promise it’s the truth and I showed him the song like I showed him my phone

I was like, look, this is what was playing

I was like, this is a bop and he started laughing like I put my charm on and I made him laugh

And so it like cracked it. I was listening to Eastside

by Khalid and

What’s her fucking name Halsey, but it was a remix and it was like

Like an EDM remix cuz I’m going to EDC this weekend

I’m like preparing trying to get in the mood and once I made him laugh

Like I knew I was okay, and I was like look, I know you don’t know me officer

Ossifer you have no fucking clue who I am

But I was like look if I didn’t like you and I was just flipping cops off as they drove by

Like I wouldn’t be nice to you and he came to my window. Like I’m the type person I would

Keep the same energy like I wouldn’t be nice and be cutting up with you

Like if I didn’t like cops, I would be rude or like take my phone out and record you like

So once I like convinced him, I was actually just having a good fucking day. He let me go and everything was fine

But I’ll be damned if I have a good fucking day

I’ll be damned like universe really played me with that one

Like I was feeling the best I’ve ever felt in a long time like better than when I was on Molly

Like bitch, I was having such a good genuine day. Just go into the gym and listen into my song

I don’t know what it was. I was just having a great day. Boom. Here you go. Here’s the interruption

Don’t you dare have a good day Leo fuck?

Okay. So now let’s get into the topic of this episode

Why you don’t like the people that like you and I’m gonna

Furl forewarn that these are just my theories and what I mean by these are my theories

That just puts me off the hook for anything I say, but I know what the fuck I’m talking about and I’m right

But I do have to get a little warning cuz motherfuckers love to quote you

I’m not a fucking doctor. I’m not a psychologist, but I’d be knowing things. Alright, so listen up. So the short answer is

When someone likes you right off the bat you win and what I mean by you win is

Your value and your worth is

Validated when someone looks at you and you they see you and they like you

You’re validated


when someone looks at you and

they don’t see that shit like if you like somebody and they’re kind of like standoffish or like they’re not like as

Into it as you are

That means they don’t see your value or your worth and you will start to subconsciously try to make them see your worth and prove

that you’re worthy of their appreciation and love and

Attention and the way you’re gonna do this because this is all subconscious. Like I said, you’re not gonna be aware of it

You’re gonna start

Overthinking every text you send you’re gonna try and put your best foot forward

You’re gonna try and be on tip-top of your fucking game. Like if someone likes you right off the bat

There’s a little bit of pressure

But when you have someone that you like that’s not really feeling you that much like they’re kind of interested

But they’re not like acting like you’re God’s gift to earth

You’re gonna start over analyzing and putting so much energy into everything that you do

And this is hard for someone like me because if someone doesn’t act like I’m God’s gift to earth. I get fucking upset

Okay, but when someone does act like I’m God’s gift to earth and they be like blowing smoke up my ass. I get anxious

I’m like, oh my god

I’m like don’t let don’t start liking them because this is gonna stop one day like I see you love bombing me, bitch

like I know like I’ll be damned if you’re gonna start being nice to me and

Get me attached to you and then all of a sudden you’re gonna stop being nice cuz I hit you that fucking shit hurts my feelings

Like I don’t like that. So I’m in the type boat where I’m damned if you do damned if you don’t

But I’m talking about people that are not as like fucked up in the head as I am

But yes, whenever you meet someone and they like you right off the bat. It’s boring. You got what you wanted. It’s instant validation

They see your worth. They see your value. They’re interested in you if they pursue it great, but it gets boring

okay, and what I mean by boring is like it gets like normal or like air quote healthy and

The reason that the people that treat you badly or act like you aren’t shit are so

Much more exciting and fun is because it’s like an addiction pattern

So if you want to look it up, it’s called intermittent reinforcement

I’m helping put to words what’s happening in the back of your head so you can become aware of it

So when someone doesn’t see your value, you’re subconsciously gonna start trying to prove it to them

okay, so what you’re gonna be trying to do is gain their approval and then every little thing that they do every little like

Little what is it called every little breadcrumb? They give you you’re gonna like eat it up

You’re gonna get like a dopamine hit

So anytime they give you a compliment you’re gonna get like a hit of dopamine anytime they respond to your text hit a dopamine

Anytime they make any kind of effort to talk to you or they are talking to you

You’re gonna feel so good while you’re talking to them because you’re getting dopamine you’re being accepted

But yes, you’re not gonna know why talking to this person feels so good

You’re just gonna know that you can’t stop thinking about them

And all you want to do is talk to them and when you’re not talking to them

You’re like trying to think of shit to message them

It’s because you want dopamine not them

Most of the time most of the time you’re just seeking like the golden nugget that you get from getting their approval

But I don’t want to get into too much of the explanation of intermittent reinforcement. You can look that up

So the whole thing about like not liking people back. It’s a game. It’s a twisted fucked-up game and it sucks

Okay, everyone says we don’t like games girl. We be playing them

We play the shit out of them every single one of us. So stop lying

Accept it and play the game and choosing to not play the game is playing the game. You just don’t realize it

So yes converting someone to like you is so much more exciting

You get excited by the act of it, but you think it’s about the person you think this person is what you’re excited by

You think this person is what you feel all these great feelings for when it’s the process and it’s the whole

Making someone see your value. That’s it

This also explains the little phenomenon that goes on when you

Want someone and you’ve wanted them for so long and you keep having to work for them and work toward them

Whatever it is once you finally get them

You don’t want them anymore

Because this dopamine chase is gone. I

Did need to go in to explain a little bit about what happens when you like someone they don’t like you because when you flip

It you understand why you don’t like that person

So the person that you have like a tiny bit of interest in or you could be interested in when they start

Looking for your approval. They’re gonna be messaging you more. They’re gonna feel very forced. They’re not gonna feel relaxed

They’re gonna feel like they’re trying to earn your approval and some people are too ego driven and they like try to play it backwards

Like I’m gonna pretend like I don’t like you. I’m gonna ignore you. I’m gonna this I’m gonna that that’s just gonna put you off

Well, it puts me off

But anyway, the person that you kind of like is gonna start coming with you with to like coming at you with too much energy

They’re gonna be trying to gain your fucking approval. They’re not gonna give you a chance to miss them

Okay, so they’re gonna always be texting you first when you’re not talking. They’re gonna be sending you a fucking meme

They’re gonna be sending you shit. They’re never gonna allow

time for an absence of

their presence

so you’re not gonna be able to think of them on your own and that time of

Not having that person talking to you gives you the chance to talk to them to reach out to them

Like if you don’t talk to them for a day or a couple of hours, whatever it is

You start thinking about them if you enjoyed the conversation or you had interest in them

You’ll want to message them

But if they’re constantly messaging you you will never get to the part where you’re like, okay

I want to message them people need to decide it for their self. So get out of people’s fucking face that you like

I know it sucks and it’s so hard because I just explained when you’re not talking to that person that you like

You’re gonna be anxious. You’re just gonna want to talk to them

You’re gonna like your brain is gonna be flooded with thoughts of them. You’re gonna be looking at their pictures

You’re gonna look and see if they’re online

You’re gonna look and see if they ignored you like there’s so many things that go in that goes into it

So like in order to get rid of that anxiety, you’ll keep messaging them now flip it when you’re the person

That’s constantly getting messaged when what you need is to be able to decide if you like this person

And to ping-pong the energy back and forth

It’s off-putting like you people want to put effort into things

You have to give people a chance to reciprocate the effort because people don’t care about things that they don’t put energy into

They’re easily just able to block you or ghost you or get rid of you

You need to give them a chance to put effort into you

I’m not teaching you this to help you manipulate but do it this information what you will

Be responsible goddammit. You’re responsible for your own fucking actions

Okay, so don’t try and come at me when everything falls apart or you have a stalker because I’ve had a few

Get motherfuckers addicted to you. You got to be careful with that

But yes, the reason you don’t like people that like you is because you don’t have that space

They don’t give you the opportunity to put energy into them or into the relationship or into the conversation if they’re constantly

The ones lighting it up. It’s like like you’re kind of like indifferent and you’ll get bored of it very fast and it’s understandable

It’s totally understandable because all these things are basic human psychology

okay, so my next theory has to do kind of with imposter syndrome and

That’s where

Someone likes you, but you know, you are putting on a facade

okay, so if you’re not being your authentic self if you’re

Faking it if you’re just kind of being what everybody else wants you to be or you’re being what’s cool in society

You’re gonna be scared to like people that like you because you know

Whether consciously or unconsciously the image that you’re portraying is what they like. They don’t like what’s under your mask

So you’re gonna feel scared to like them

You might not know why but you’ve got a fear of abandonment because it’s like you’re trying to sell somebody a car

Okay, it’s like you’re a blue car and you painted yourself red and someone goes to the lot and they want a red car

They buy you. Okay, you’re the red car

And then when they take you home it rains and all your fucking red paint comes off and they see that you’re blue

They’re gonna walk out and be like what the fuck I wanted a red car not a fucking blue car and they’re gonna try

And take you back to the dealership

That’s a funny-ass analogy, but it’s the truth

So that’s my second theory is one of imposter syndrome. Like you kind of know it’s like self-fulfilling prophecy

You know how it’s gonna end you are anxious and you know

It ain’t really you that they like and you’re gonna be scared to open up and you can’t keep a facade going forever

It’s exhausting, but a lot of people don’t even understand that they’re putting on a facade

But they subconsciously know it so they will feel a push away when people try to get close because in

Somewhere in their mind they know they aren’t being the true them and that’s very prevalent with social media today

If someone meets you on social media and they start DM in you like if you have this whole different person

Portrayed on your fucking Instagram. You’re not as cool as you seem. You’re not as fucking skinny as you seem

Of course, you’re gonna be scared to like talk to them. Yeah, you’re gonna be excited to talk to them

Oh my god, this hot person likes me. Oh, you’re gonna get like all giddy and happy, but you’re gonna be like, ah fuck

Because well, you like don’t want to like them because you know, that ain’t you the person that you’re portraying ain’t you it’s you

But it’s not the real you so that’s just another one of my theories and that one was quick and short and easy to explain

My next one’s not

Okay, so the next example I realized yesterday actually with my therapist on

Why you don’t like certain people or why you might be hesitant to letting in love. So if someone is trying to

Come forward at you with all of this loving energy and this appreciation and they see your value

some people myself included are not comfortable receiving that and one of the reasons is

because we look at the person and

If they’re not up to certain standards, we won’t trust it

We will be scared to let it in because it feels toxic

okay, and what I mean by that when I say we look at the person if

Someone is coming to you because they like you and they’re feeding you all these compliments and they’re trying to put energy and effort

into you

But if you look at them and their relationship with their self if they have no sense of self if they don’t have boundaries

That’s scary to let in

If they don’t value and like respect the way that they feel and they don’t care the way that they feel

That’s a red flag if they don’t stand up for their self

That’s a red flag if they don’t even consider their self their physical well-being their safety their feelings their boundaries

How the fuck are you gonna be able to consider mine?

How are you gonna be able to respect me if you don’t respect yourself?

How are you gonna be able to stand up for me when I need you if you don’t even stand up for yourself if you’re

Too fucking weak to do that

If someone doesn’t take their needs and make them important to them and make sure that they get met

They take control of their life and they make sure that they get what they want and they make sure that their needs are

Met if someone doesn’t show that of course, you’re not gonna like them because when you get into a relationship

You don’t want to get into a relationship with someone that disregards their own needs because they’ll do it to you

If they don’t know how to care for their self and make sure their own needs get met

How are they supposed to consider yours? How are they supposed to make sure your needs get met?

That’s where you’re gonna be in a relationship where you’re emotionally on your fucking own

you’re gonna have to meet all your own needs and theirs and

That’s off-putting that is something subconscious that I have not realized before it

Like I said, I realized that yesterday talking to my therapist about it and she read me to fucking filth

But this is a huge thing

I always wondered why I was so like off like what is it called?

Unsettled off-put like love is so off-putting to me like it feels toxic to let it in like I don’t like

that shit because

People’s definition of love is not my definition of love a lot of people have a toxic and fucked-up version of love and I can

See that so when someone’s version of love does not match mine. I don’t want it. I don’t want to accept it

I don’t want it near me because I know what it comes with. But like I said, this is a very deep

Side of this and the just the initial off-putting

Part of it about someone not being able to stand up for themselves someone not having self-discipline someone not being

truthful and honest and authentic if someone lies and

They don’t seem like secure with their self. They’ll manipulate and that’s scary for someone

Who’s experienced something like that before so you might just be noticing these things

Subconsciously in someone and that might be what’s preventing you from liking them like you can see someone on paper and

Logically, it makes so much fucking sense

Why you should like them and they’re hot and they have every everything that you should like you should want everything

You should want is there all the boxes are checked and it makes so much sense

Logically why you should want them if you don’t want them. There’s a reason

Don’t try to force it try to understand it

Okay, try to understand yourself and get to the bottom of that shit because you cannot force yourself to like something you do not like

That’s just the way it fucking is

So if you don’t like something you have to accept that you don’t like it

You can beat yourself up all day. You can shame yourself. You can guilt yourself and ain’t gonna fucking work

Sorry, babe, and that’s really damaging to yourself and your relationship with yourself. So don’t do that

So you just have to accept like if you don’t like them, that’s okay

There’s nothing wrong with you because you don’t like this

Logically perfect person your subconscious is picking up on shit that you’re not. I

really want to do an entire episode about why nice guys finish last or

Like the nice girls because it can go for any relationship any dynamic why the nice one never gets picked

Like if you’re one of the people that’s like, oh my god

I’m such a good person and nobody wants me I can tell you exactly why you’re not gonna fucking like it and that one

Will probably get me like a lot of one-star ratings, but it’s gonna be the truth and you have to

Be able to hear the truth and accept it so that you can change it if you want different results

Because if you keep trying to the same shit, you’re gonna still keep not getting picked, babe

Alright guys, that’s it for episode 2. I hope you liked it. I hope you got something from it

If you want me to talk about anything specific

You can message me on any of my social medias. I assume you found this podcast through my social media

So just message me on there. You can also leave a review of this podcast

preferably five stars

pretty pleased and you can leave a little description like a little comment and just comment whatever topic you want me to talk about and

I’ll see what I can do. So thank you for listening. Hope you enjoyed you’ll hear from me again next week