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What’s up guys it’s time for episode 2 and I’m gonna rock this bitch cuz I’m gonna talk about a topic that hits
Close to home for everybody I think and it’s why you don’t like the people back that like you
I’m talking about in a relationship like it just seems like the ones that like me
Uh, like I don’t have no fucking interest and if I do it’s short-lived or I can force myself to like them
But then it fizzles out
Before I get into all that I need to tell you about what happened to me the other day
So I’m driving to the gym and I’m having a great fucking day like I’m in a great mood
I got on a good fucking song and I’m like in the car dancing doing my thing
I’m pointing like, you know, you’d be dancing you just like throw your hands around
I’m like pointing at shit on the beat like with my pointer finger and I’m just like having a little time and I
Like driving to the gym. So there’s a cop driving the opposite way of me
And I’m over here a beat bopping going down the road and all of a sudden this cop flips its lights on and
Like spins around in the middle of the road and I was like, oh shit
Somebody’s getting pulled the fuck over and I’m like, I just go back to dance and I’m like having a good time
this cop pulls right the fuck up behind me and
Flashes the lights and I was like fuck he already had them on but then he like flashed him and like put them back on
And I’m like god damn it. Is he pulling me over cuz like I wasn’t speeding
So the fuck is he in my ass for right now?
So I just keep driving like I’m like it ain’t me it ain’t me
So I just keep driving and then he starts like tailgating me like getting up right up close to my bumper and I’m like fuck
It’s me
So I pull over
This cop comes to the window. Okay, I
Don’t like cops. I’m just gonna go ahead and get that out of the way
My fight-or-flight response kicks on every fucking time. I have to deal with one
I will lie and manipulate and kiss ass to do whatever I have to do to get away from a goddamn cop because I have
A bad experience with cops
Terrible like they always fuck with me. I always get the corrupt one and if you piss them off
They have this tiniest little fuse and they have the most sensitive and fragile of egos
And if you fuck with them in any way, they will fuck you in any way they can ten times harder. So
I’m very on edge whenever I have to deal with a cop and this cop comes to the window and I literally am like
I don’t want this cop to come up to me and be like, what did you do? Do you know I pulled you over?
No motherfucker. I have no idea but like I don’t want to sound like a smartass if I’m like no
I have no clue
So I’m like shit like all these things are going through my head this fucker this fat fucking white cop
Like, you know the vibe that I’m going like the bald old fucking white man
With nothing better to do in his goddamn day comes up to my window and goes I saw you flip me off back there
What gives you the right and I immediately?
bust out laughing
Like I start pissing myself and I said, I don’t mean any disrespect because I know that I’m laughing
But I know how it looks but I promise you I just had on a really good song and I was dancing and it wasn’t
My middle finger. It was my pointer finger. Like I was just like bopping to the beat
And he kind of looked at me like you like that look of like yeah bullshit
So I was like, I know how it looks like I know this doesn’t sound believable
Like I promise it’s the truth and I showed him the song like I showed him my phone
I was like, look, this is what was playing
I was like, this is a bop and he started laughing like I put my charm on and I made him laugh
And so it like cracked it. I was listening to Eastside
by Khalid and
What’s her fucking name Halsey, but it was a remix and it was like
Like an EDM remix cuz I’m going to EDC this weekend
I’m like preparing trying to get in the mood and once I made him laugh
Like I knew I was okay, and I was like look, I know you don’t know me officer
Ossifer you have no fucking clue who I am
But I was like look if I didn’t like you and I was just flipping cops off as they drove by
Like I wouldn’t be nice to you and he came to my window. Like I’m the type person I would
Keep the same energy like I wouldn’t be nice and be cutting up with you
Like if I didn’t like cops, I would be rude or like take my phone out and record you like
So once I like convinced him, I was actually just having a good fucking day. He let me go and everything was fine
But I’ll be damned if I have a good fucking day
I’ll be damned like universe really played me with that one
Like I was feeling the best I’ve ever felt in a long time like better than when I was on Molly
Like bitch, I was having such a good genuine day. Just go into the gym and listen into my song
I don’t know what it was. I was just having a great day. Boom. Here you go. Here’s the interruption
Don’t you dare have a good day Leo fuck?
Okay. So now let’s get into the topic of this episode
Why you don’t like the people that like you and I’m gonna
Furl forewarn that these are just my theories and what I mean by these are my theories
That just puts me off the hook for anything I say, but I know what the fuck I’m talking about and I’m right
But I do have to get a little warning cuz motherfuckers love to quote you
I’m not a fucking doctor. I’m not a psychologist, but I’d be knowing things. Alright, so listen up. So the short answer is
When someone likes you right off the bat you win and what I mean by you win is
Your value and your worth is
Validated when someone looks at you and you they see you and they like you
You’re validated
Okay
when someone looks at you and
they don’t see that shit like if you like somebody and they’re kind of like standoffish or like they’re not like as
Into it as you are
That means they don’t see your value or your worth and you will start to subconsciously try to make them see your worth and prove
that you’re worthy of their appreciation and love and
Attention and the way you’re gonna do this because this is all subconscious. Like I said, you’re not gonna be aware of it
You’re gonna start
Overthinking every text you send you’re gonna try and put your best foot forward
You’re gonna try and be on tip-top of your fucking game. Like if someone likes you right off the bat
There’s a little bit of pressure
But when you have someone that you like that’s not really feeling you that much like they’re kind of interested
But they’re not like acting like you’re God’s gift to earth
You’re gonna start over analyzing and putting so much energy into everything that you do
And this is hard for someone like me because if someone doesn’t act like I’m God’s gift to earth. I get fucking upset
Okay, but when someone does act like I’m God’s gift to earth and they be like blowing smoke up my ass. I get anxious
I’m like, oh my god
I’m like don’t let don’t start liking them because this is gonna stop one day like I see you love bombing me, bitch
like I know like I’ll be damned if you’re gonna start being nice to me and
Get me attached to you and then all of a sudden you’re gonna stop being nice cuz I hit you that fucking shit hurts my feelings
Like I don’t like that. So I’m in the type boat where I’m damned if you do damned if you don’t
But I’m talking about people that are not as like fucked up in the head as I am
But yes, whenever you meet someone and they like you right off the bat. It’s boring. You got what you wanted. It’s instant validation
They see your worth. They see your value. They’re interested in you if they pursue it great, but it gets boring
okay, and what I mean by boring is like it gets like normal or like air quote healthy and
The reason that the people that treat you badly or act like you aren’t shit are so
Much more exciting and fun is because it’s like an addiction pattern
So if you want to look it up, it’s called intermittent reinforcement
I’m helping put to words what’s happening in the back of your head so you can become aware of it
So when someone doesn’t see your value, you’re subconsciously gonna start trying to prove it to them
okay, so what you’re gonna be trying to do is gain their approval and then every little thing that they do every little like
Little what is it called every little breadcrumb? They give you you’re gonna like eat it up
You’re gonna get like a dopamine hit
So anytime they give you a compliment you’re gonna get like a hit of dopamine anytime they respond to your text hit a dopamine
Anytime they make any kind of effort to talk to you or they are talking to you
You’re gonna feel so good while you’re talking to them because you’re getting dopamine you’re being accepted
But yes, you’re not gonna know why talking to this person feels so good
You’re just gonna know that you can’t stop thinking about them
And all you want to do is talk to them and when you’re not talking to them
You’re like trying to think of shit to message them
It’s because you want dopamine not them
Most of the time most of the time you’re just seeking like the golden nugget that you get from getting their approval
But I don’t want to get into too much of the explanation of intermittent reinforcement. You can look that up
So the whole thing about like not liking people back. It’s a game. It’s a twisted fucked-up game and it sucks
Okay, everyone says we don’t like games girl. We be playing them
We play the shit out of them every single one of us. So stop lying
Accept it and play the game and choosing to not play the game is playing the game. You just don’t realize it
So yes converting someone to like you is so much more exciting
You get excited by the act of it, but you think it’s about the person you think this person is what you’re excited by
You think this person is what you feel all these great feelings for when it’s the process and it’s the whole
Making someone see your value. That’s it
This also explains the little phenomenon that goes on when you
Want someone and you’ve wanted them for so long and you keep having to work for them and work toward them
Whatever it is once you finally get them
You don’t want them anymore
Because this dopamine chase is gone. I
Did need to go in to explain a little bit about what happens when you like someone they don’t like you because when you flip
It you understand why you don’t like that person
So the person that you have like a tiny bit of interest in or you could be interested in when they start
Looking for your approval. They’re gonna be messaging you more. They’re gonna feel very forced. They’re not gonna feel relaxed
They’re gonna feel like they’re trying to earn your approval and some people are too ego driven and they like try to play it backwards
Like I’m gonna pretend like I don’t like you. I’m gonna ignore you. I’m gonna this I’m gonna that that’s just gonna put you off
Well, it puts me off
But anyway, the person that you kind of like is gonna start coming with you with to like coming at you with too much energy
They’re gonna be trying to gain your fucking approval. They’re not gonna give you a chance to miss them
Okay, so they’re gonna always be texting you first when you’re not talking. They’re gonna be sending you a fucking meme
They’re gonna be sending you shit. They’re never gonna allow
time for an absence of
their presence
so you’re not gonna be able to think of them on your own and that time of
Not having that person talking to you gives you the chance to talk to them to reach out to them
Like if you don’t talk to them for a day or a couple of hours, whatever it is
You start thinking about them if you enjoyed the conversation or you had interest in them
You’ll want to message them
But if they’re constantly messaging you you will never get to the part where you’re like, okay
I want to message them people need to decide it for their self. So get out of people’s fucking face that you like
I know it sucks and it’s so hard because I just explained when you’re not talking to that person that you like
You’re gonna be anxious. You’re just gonna want to talk to them
You’re gonna like your brain is gonna be flooded with thoughts of them. You’re gonna be looking at their pictures
You’re gonna look and see if they’re online
You’re gonna look and see if they ignored you like there’s so many things that go in that goes into it
So like in order to get rid of that anxiety, you’ll keep messaging them now flip it when you’re the person
That’s constantly getting messaged when what you need is to be able to decide if you like this person
And to ping-pong the energy back and forth
It’s off-putting like you people want to put effort into things
You have to give people a chance to reciprocate the effort because people don’t care about things that they don’t put energy into
They’re easily just able to block you or ghost you or get rid of you
You need to give them a chance to put effort into you
I’m not teaching you this to help you manipulate but do it this information what you will
Be responsible goddammit. You’re responsible for your own fucking actions
Okay, so don’t try and come at me when everything falls apart or you have a stalker because I’ve had a few
Get motherfuckers addicted to you. You got to be careful with that
But yes, the reason you don’t like people that like you is because you don’t have that space
They don’t give you the opportunity to put energy into them or into the relationship or into the conversation if they’re constantly
The ones lighting it up. It’s like like you’re kind of like indifferent and you’ll get bored of it very fast and it’s understandable
It’s totally understandable because all these things are basic human psychology
okay, so my next theory has to do kind of with imposter syndrome and
That’s where
Someone likes you, but you know, you are putting on a facade
okay, so if you’re not being your authentic self if you’re
Faking it if you’re just kind of being what everybody else wants you to be or you’re being what’s cool in society
You’re gonna be scared to like people that like you because you know
Whether consciously or unconsciously the image that you’re portraying is what they like. They don’t like what’s under your mask
So you’re gonna feel scared to like them
You might not know why but you’ve got a fear of abandonment because it’s like you’re trying to sell somebody a car
Okay, it’s like you’re a blue car and you painted yourself red and someone goes to the lot and they want a red car
They buy you. Okay, you’re the red car
And then when they take you home it rains and all your fucking red paint comes off and they see that you’re blue
They’re gonna walk out and be like what the fuck I wanted a red car not a fucking blue car and they’re gonna try
And take you back to the dealership
That’s a funny-ass analogy, but it’s the truth
So that’s my second theory is one of imposter syndrome. Like you kind of know it’s like self-fulfilling prophecy
You know how it’s gonna end you are anxious and you know
It ain’t really you that they like and you’re gonna be scared to open up and you can’t keep a facade going forever
It’s exhausting, but a lot of people don’t even understand that they’re putting on a facade
But they subconsciously know it so they will feel a push away when people try to get close because in
Somewhere in their mind they know they aren’t being the true them and that’s very prevalent with social media today
If someone meets you on social media and they start DM in you like if you have this whole different person
Portrayed on your fucking Instagram. You’re not as cool as you seem. You’re not as fucking skinny as you seem
Of course, you’re gonna be scared to like talk to them. Yeah, you’re gonna be excited to talk to them
Oh my god, this hot person likes me. Oh, you’re gonna get like all giddy and happy, but you’re gonna be like, ah fuck
Because well, you like don’t want to like them because you know, that ain’t you the person that you’re portraying ain’t you it’s you
But it’s not the real you so that’s just another one of my theories and that one was quick and short and easy to explain
My next one’s not
Okay, so the next example I realized yesterday actually with my therapist on
Why you don’t like certain people or why you might be hesitant to letting in love. So if someone is trying to
Come forward at you with all of this loving energy and this appreciation and they see your value
some people myself included are not comfortable receiving that and one of the reasons is
because we look at the person and
If they’re not up to certain standards, we won’t trust it
We will be scared to let it in because it feels toxic
okay, and what I mean by that when I say we look at the person if
Someone is coming to you because they like you and they’re feeding you all these compliments and they’re trying to put energy and effort
into you
But if you look at them and their relationship with their self if they have no sense of self if they don’t have boundaries
That’s scary to let in
If they don’t value and like respect the way that they feel and they don’t care the way that they feel
That’s a red flag if they don’t stand up for their self
That’s a red flag if they don’t even consider their self their physical well-being their safety their feelings their boundaries
How the fuck are you gonna be able to consider mine?
How are you gonna be able to respect me if you don’t respect yourself?
How are you gonna be able to stand up for me when I need you if you don’t even stand up for yourself if you’re
Too fucking weak to do that
If someone doesn’t take their needs and make them important to them and make sure that they get met
They take control of their life and they make sure that they get what they want and they make sure that their needs are
Met if someone doesn’t show that of course, you’re not gonna like them because when you get into a relationship
You don’t want to get into a relationship with someone that disregards their own needs because they’ll do it to you
If they don’t know how to care for their self and make sure their own needs get met
How are they supposed to consider yours? How are they supposed to make sure your needs get met?
That’s where you’re gonna be in a relationship where you’re emotionally on your fucking own
you’re gonna have to meet all your own needs and theirs and
That’s off-putting that is something subconscious that I have not realized before it
Like I said, I realized that yesterday talking to my therapist about it and she read me to fucking filth
But this is a huge thing
I always wondered why I was so like off like what is it called?
Unsettled off-put like love is so off-putting to me like it feels toxic to let it in like I don’t like
that shit because
People’s definition of love is not my definition of love a lot of people have a toxic and fucked-up version of love and I can
See that so when someone’s version of love does not match mine. I don’t want it. I don’t want to accept it
I don’t want it near me because I know what it comes with. But like I said, this is a very deep
Side of this and the just the initial off-putting
Part of it about someone not being able to stand up for themselves someone not having self-discipline someone not being
truthful and honest and authentic if someone lies and
They don’t seem like secure with their self. They’ll manipulate and that’s scary for someone
Who’s experienced something like that before so you might just be noticing these things
Subconsciously in someone and that might be what’s preventing you from liking them like you can see someone on paper and
Logically, it makes so much fucking sense
Why you should like them and they’re hot and they have every everything that you should like you should want everything
You should want is there all the boxes are checked and it makes so much sense
Logically why you should want them if you don’t want them. There’s a reason
Don’t try to force it try to understand it
Okay, try to understand yourself and get to the bottom of that shit because you cannot force yourself to like something you do not like
That’s just the way it fucking is
So if you don’t like something you have to accept that you don’t like it
You can beat yourself up all day. You can shame yourself. You can guilt yourself and ain’t gonna fucking work
Sorry, babe, and that’s really damaging to yourself and your relationship with yourself. So don’t do that
So you just have to accept like if you don’t like them, that’s okay
There’s nothing wrong with you because you don’t like this
Logically perfect person your subconscious is picking up on shit that you’re not. I
really want to do an entire episode about why nice guys finish last or
Like the nice girls because it can go for any relationship any dynamic why the nice one never gets picked
Like if you’re one of the people that’s like, oh my god
I’m such a good person and nobody wants me I can tell you exactly why you’re not gonna fucking like it and that one
Will probably get me like a lot of one-star ratings, but it’s gonna be the truth and you have to
Be able to hear the truth and accept it so that you can change it if you want different results
Because if you keep trying to the same shit, you’re gonna still keep not getting picked, babe
Alright guys, that’s it for episode 2. I hope you liked it. I hope you got something from it
If you want me to talk about anything specific
You can message me on any of my social medias. I assume you found this podcast through my social media
So just message me on there. You can also leave a review of this podcast
preferably five stars
pretty pleased and you can leave a little description like a little comment and just comment whatever topic you want me to talk about and
I’ll see what I can do. So thank you for listening. Hope you enjoyed you’ll hear from me again next week