Aware & Aggravated - 5. Everyone is Racist

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I know, I know, the title’s a little out there, give me a fucking second to explain, okay?

Cause everybody is racist and fatphobic and transphobic and what the fuck else is there?

What other phobics is there? Cause everybody is all of it.

Skinnyphobic, whitephobic, motherfucking anti-smoking cigarettes, what’s that called, cigarettephobic bitch.

People will call you anything in the fucking book now.

They’ll just throw the word phobic on the end of it and think it’s an insult.

I have seen a lot of comments on social media, especially my shit, like people constantly calling me every kind of phobic there is.

And I just keep asking myself, what the fuck is the point?

Like, people just seem to comment observations.

Not that I am phobic of any of these things, I’m just talking my shit.

And what I mean by observations is people will like see something posted and if it is not 100% advocating for it, then they call you phobic of it.

God forbid you have a preference, God forbid you don’t like something, oh my fucking God, you’re phobic.

They will literally flip the situation and only see what they want to see.

They think they fucking know something and they don’t.

And half the time they don’t even make sense with the allegations that they make.

They just see something, think they know something, and want to talk about it.

They’ve been taught that their opinion matters.

Glad that their parents loved them and made them feel valuable, but sometimes you should just shut the fuck up.

When I post like my diet tips, people are like, oh my God, you’re fatphobic.

The fatphobia in this is like real loud.

It’s not actually fatphobia, like I don’t give a fuck if you’re fat.

Go be fat if you want to be fat.

I don’t like being fat and I share tips to help people not be fat that don’t want to be fat.

That doesn’t mean I’m fatphobic.

Am I being mean to people just because they’re fat? No.

But I just kept seeing people all the time.

Like everybody is always commenting some kind of like label against people like you’re fatphobic, you’re racist, you’re this, you’re that.

Like what the fuck is the point in commenting that?

Even if I was fatphobic, what the fuck does that matter?

You know what I mean?

Like y’all are commenting shit.

Like it does something like even if I was fatphobic and you commented, you’re fatphobic.


And do you get what I mean?

Like this fucking shit just made no sense to me, but it just clicked for me in my head.

So I had to jump.

I had to like, I ran in here to come film a fucking podcast about it real quick.

The people that comment this shit are in an extreme fucking place of not feeling worth the fuck or like have no value or have no control over their life because this behavior is not normal.

Like to go around and just call people shit, that ain’t normal behavior.

And I’m just going to let you know that that’s fucking weird.


If you’re one of these blue haired bitches, you’re fucking weird, dude.

But I realized this is all a tactic.

So it’s a tactic for these people where they go on someone’s page and they’ll comment, you’re racist.

And the person that they comment that shit at will make some kind of video back to them or they’ll make some kind of like comment or they’ll try and explain their self and prove that they’re not fatphobic or racist or whatever.

Someone’s fucking yelling at them about that right there.

Gives that person control when you cannot control your reactions to things.

Like if I was not able to control my reaction when someone called me racist, if I had to get on there every fucking time and make a video, I’m not racist.

Look, these are all the reasons why I’m not racist.

Like if I was not able to control my response, I would be controlled by these people.

These people get control over weak motherfuckers that feel the need to constantly explain and prove their self.

So them commenting all their little observations is their attempt at gaining control over something.

That’s why I said that they don’t have control over their life.

They got their own fucking issues.

But it made me realize it’s not personal.

Like these people just commenting shit just to comment it.

It’s a power play.

They want to see if they can have control over you to see if you’re going to react or respond to them.

You know, because I just I genuinely did not get it.

Like, why are y’all just pointing shit out?

And then why are you seeing something like people be commenting that my dieting tips are eating disorder behavior?

And, and even if they are, who gives a fuck?

Who gives a fuck?

You know, like I fall prey to it sometimes because I’m like, you’re fucking stupid.

Shut up.

But now I understand.

It’s just a little power play for them to get a sense of control or to get attention.

Like they want you to interact with them.

They want you to acknowledge them.

And I’m my stubborn ass.

Now that I’m aware of this, I that’s the last thing I’m going to do.

I’m going to post more triggering shit for you, bitch.

Eat it up.

Eat it the fuck up.


I’ll never intentionally try to trigger people.

I might talk my shit on here, but I’ll never like make things just to intentionally trigger people.

But I did have a big realization around this just now.

Like it’s fresh happening just now as I’m sitting down to film this.

I was like, I have to come like share this because this is like a big thing.

And I know other people are frustrated about it too.

Like why are people always just making observations?

So that’s just what I’ve realized about it.

And one more thing.

When you use a word that’s as big as like racist, that is something people do not want to fucking be labeled as.

That will get you canceled in 2.5 seconds.

So what these little cancel culture fucking freaks have done is create a platform and like they give people followings that they can take away.

And they instill the fear in these influencers that if you say anything remotely wrong, we will cancel you.

So that’s their way of controlling the influencer.

Like they get a sense of control because they’re powerless to their triggers.

And if someone says something that triggers them in order for them to get a sense of control back, they need to make a power play.

And that’s their fucking power play is to cancel you.

I do not agree with cancel culture.

And I think it’s really fucking stupid.

Like people ruin other people’s lives for no reason.

Like they take it too far.

Like the context of certain videos and certain things that have gotten leaked like y’all give no fucking mercy.

And you don’t understand like you don’t try to be empathetic and understand where the person was coming from.

And why they said what they said or why they did what they did.

Some people are actual just like pieces of fucking shit.

And I get that.

Like I don’t want to say names.

Charles James.

Like if someone’s in the place where they have a following and they abuse it and they abuse the power that they have, absolutely cancel them.

Take it the fuck from them.

That’s not cool.

But these little cancel culture people like they cut no slack.

They have no mercy.

They have no nothing.

Once you’re marked of like for their destruction, you’re fucked.

Like they’re gonna fucking fuck with your life any way they can.

They’ll get you fired from wherever you work.

They’ll make sure you can never get hired somewhere else.

They’ll slander you so fucking bad online that you will have like a record like a trace that if you try to go get hired somewhere, you’ll have literally so much shit online when the boss goes to Google you that they won’t want to hire you.

Like you’re a fucking liability to the company because you’ve been slandered so bad online.

You know, like people literally ruin other people’s lives just because they say something that they don’t approve of.

Like shut the fuck up.

Shut up.

Understand when the punishment is too far.

Like I’m very big on being fair and being not ethical.

I don’t give a fuck about being ethical, but I’m big on being fair bitch and I for an eye.

Okay, that’s it.

Like, but you need to know when to stop.

It’s like when you’re watching the fighting videos of people getting jumped, like the person’s knocked out and they continue kicking them in the head.

All right, enough.

Okay, you know what I mean?

Like they’re already knocked out.

Don’t touch them.

They got knocked the fuck out.

There’s their punishment.

Don’t continue to brutally beat them because then you’re a fucking piece of shit, you know?

But anyway, my point with the whole like cancel culture people is they be taking it too fucking far and they think that they’re justified in it because they’re taking someone down.

Like you don’t know the full story.

Okay, I this is making me want to get into my whole like why I don’t do witchcraft anymore and why I don’t do like hexes and curses.

Like I used to be so for it and I was doing them, but I had an experience where I realized I don’t know everything.

So like with these cancel culture people, like they feel justified based off of what they know to attack somebody and to like dish out a consequence.

When in reality, you don’t fucking know everything.

You don’t know what happened.

Therefore, you are not fit to play God.

Okay, I don’t believe in the whole like religious God and shit.

Like I’m not referencing that, but I’m just saying you can’t like play God.

You don’t get to play Punisher.

You don’t get to do that because you don’t know everything.

You lack the mental capacity to understand each side of the situation unbiased.

You can’t even fucking begin to understand that you people are so fucking closed-minded.

All you want to do is attack.

You are not in a place to understand.

Therefore, you don’t know everything.

Therefore, you are not justified and therefore you are not fucking qualified to dish out a punishment.

Now, I need to call myself out on that.

I will always take accountability for what I do or say.

And I will own that shit.

If you want an explanation, I’ll give it to you.

If I feel like an apology is necessary, I’ll say it.

But bitch, I don’t apologize.

I don’t believe in apologies.

Like I don’t believe in forgiveness.

I don’t believe in apologies.

They’re fucking pointless.

They’re worthless.

Like what the fuck am I going to say sorry for?

Like I did what I did.

I said what I said.

I said what I said and I did what I did based off of what I knew at the time.

Based off the situation I was in.

Saying sorry doesn’t fix it.

Saying sorry doesn’t do shit.

So I’m not going to fucking say that.

You’re going to watch my actions, how I make up for it and how I rectify the situation.

Or how I try to mend the damage I’ve caused.

I don’t need a fucking apology.

You can shove the words I’m sorry up your ass.

They’ve never meant anything to me.

But that’s just my opinion on that.

I don’t know how I just got off on that tangent.

But I need to get back to the witchcraft thing.

So there was a person in my life that was causing fucking havoc for me.

In a way that you cannot imagine.

I’m still kind of dealing with it.

But it’s like some shit out of a movie.

Like you can’t even fucking make it up for a movie.

It’s so twisted.

But this person was doing like certain things to me.

And I was like what the fuck?

I stopped believing in karma.

Because I’m like I don’t deserve none of this shit.

I ain’t done nothing in life bad enough to deserve this.

I know my heart.

I know my intentions.

Now where the fuck?

Karma eat my dick.

Because that ain’t real.

Like I don’t deserve any of this shit that I’m going through.

It was that bad.

I turned my back on the whole concept of karma.

But this person was attacking my life.

And I could not stop it.

I didn’t understand why.

I turned my back on law of attraction.

Because I’m like how am I a match to this?

You know?

Like I’m like what the fuck have I done?

How am I vibrationally a match to this shit?

Like every single belief I held or anything I thought I believed in,

I had to question it.

This whole situation rocked the fuck out of me.

Now I can look back and I’m like grateful for what it did.

Because I am who I am now.

I have the resilience.

And I’m a strong motherfucker mentally now.

Not just physically.

Like I had the body on lock.

But now mentally you can’t touch me.

So this person was doing some real fucked up shit to me.

And the whole time I was like,


This is not fair.

Like bitch you’re going to fuck with me and I’m going to fuck with you.

So I allegedly started doing hexes and curses.

Like it was my fucking hobby, bitch.

Like I was getting graveyard dirt from like witches’ graves in New Orleans.

I was doing all kind of shit.

I was doing like anything I could to stop this.

You know?

And I’m literally sitting here with my gun next to me.

Because I have another fucking crackhead trying to like fuck with my family.

So now anywhere I go in my house I take my gun even when I be shitting.

But I’m very good on physical safety.

That’s not my issue.

I can handle a motherfucker coming to my face and starting some shit.

Like bitch you want to have a shootout? Let’s do it.

You want to fight? Let’s fight.

I’m good on the physical protection side.

But when it comes to someone attacking me in a way that is not physical,

I could not handle it before.

And that’s what this person was doing.

I could not protect myself.

And that was something that I was not used to.

Like nothing was physical, therefore I couldn’t protect myself.

I had no mental armor of how to protect myself mentally from like having a fucking breakdown.

Had a bunch of those.

But the only way I felt like I could fuck with this person back was allegedly to do hexes and curses.

And I’m like bitch energetically and spiritually I’m about to fuck your shit up.

What’s scary is like I don’t know if they worked or not.

I think.

But like I don’t know.

Like I don’t know if anything ever happened.

I don’t think.

But I was real motherfucking mad.


That I allegedly did.

Where like you piss in a jar and you like do all you play coffin nails and you do all kind of other shit.

And you put like cayenne pepper and there’s like a bunch of other things you do.

And you write some shit allegedly on a piece of paper and you and you put it in there.

And like every time you walk by it you shake it and you just get more and more pissed off for like a week.

And like every time you pass the jar you’re supposed to shake it and spit in it.

So shit got real fucking gross.

And I was literally doing anything I could.

I was like talking to real life witches.

I was researching shit.

Everyone kept saying like watch what you put out because it’s gonna come back to you.

And I was like bitch shut the fuck up.

That ain’t real.


Dishing it out ain’t shit.

Going back to this person that’s attacking me.

So I’m gonna do it.

Like karma ain’t real.

So here I go.

You know.

I got some mentality I had on it.

Because I thought I knew everything.

My whole point behind this is I thought I was justified.

In attacking this person back.


With spells and curses and shit.

But then later on.

I realized that this person attacking me.

In a weird fucked up way.

Was helping me and actually serving me.

So I realized how I actually was a match to this person attacking my life.

And basically what it was.

Is I was in a place where I was struggling with feeling valuable.

And like I was worth a fuck as even a human being.

Like I thought I was great.

I thought I was like a good person.

I thought I had all these good traits about me.

And I was so frustrated because nothing was reflecting that.

Like I was treated like shit by most people in my life.

People just didn’t seem to see or recognize my value.

And this situation with this person attacking my life.

Was validation.

That all of the things that I thought about myself were true.

So every time this person attacked my life.

Subconsciously I was validated.

Because you can’t live without me.

Like look at you.

You’re freaking the fuck out.

You literally have to destroy me because you can’t live without me.

Like it was subconscious validation that I actually am valuable.

I am as great as I think I am.

So this person attacking my life served me.

And I was not aware of this at the time.

I could not figure it out.

I tried to understand how I was a match to this attack.

And I couldn’t like fathom it.

Like I wasn’t getting the answer.

I couldn’t figure it out.

And then one day I started realizing a lot of shit.

And I was like oh my god.

Like this entire time I know it was bad.

And it was a really shitty situation with the person and what they did.

But what they were doing was validating me.

It was serving me.

I was a match to it because it was validation.

And as soon as I realized that I got this like impending sense of doom.

Because I was dishing out spiritual and energetic consequences.

Like it was a fucking field day.

Like I thought I was justified in all the shit that I was doing.

Like even though something was on the surface hurting me and attacking my life.

It was serving me emotionally and in a weird twisted fucked up way.

So I felt bad because I had a new appreciation for what had gone on.

And it made me feel a lot better about what I was going through.

Like at the point when I wasn’t valuing myself.

This was the only thing that made me feel valuable.

So it was there for me.

Like this whole situation was there for me in a time when I needed it the most.

Like if this person wasn’t attacking my life.

I would have self-destructed as fuck.

Like I’m sure.

Because there was no validation of anything good about me.

Like I felt like it was a gaslight.

Like I thought I was a good person.

I thought I was funny.

I thought I was smart.

I thought like someone actually could love me.

And everything reflecting was the opposite of that.

But this one situation was the only thing in the back of my mind that was weirdly validating all that.

So when I needed it.

It came in a fucked up way.

And I dished out consequences against this thing that was actually serving me.

When I thought it was destroying me.

So as soon as I realized all this.

I like started bugging the fuck out.

Because I felt so bad.

And I was like I need to call back all of the negative things.

I allegedly sent out vibrationally and energetically at this person.

So I did like a spell where I called back.

And neutralized any energy I had sent out that was negative.

So I cleansed it all.

Like I was like I don’t even know if this whole energy shit and this witchcraft shit is true.

But just in case it is.

I’m gonna pull it all back.

I’m gonna neutralize it.

I think it’s real.

But I felt so much relief after that.

And I felt like a weird like rekindle of like what is it called.

Like I just felt better about it.

Because I had a newfound appreciation for it.

And I had called back all of the negative things that I sent.

Then after it I sent out vibrations of like gratitude.

And like a thank you to this person.

Even though they were attacking my life.

And still were at the time that I realized this.

I wanted to send out a thank you.

Because even though it was something bad.

It did help me.

And I was appreciative for that one part of it.

Now the rest of it can fucking kick rocks.

Like I could do without that shit.

But I am appreciative for the part that did help me.

So I sent out like an energy of gratitude toward this individual.

And allegedly.

All this is alleged.

All this is hocus pocus.

A lie story.

And I’m saying this just to get myself off the hook legally.

I don’t know what the fuck could happen.

But I’m not disclosing anything that is descriptive.

And this is all alleged.

This is all a story.

So now legally I’m safe.

Fuck you.

But yeah.

So my point was like these people that are constantly canceling motherfuckers.

You think you know everything.

You think you’re justified in what you’re doing.

When you’re not.

You don’t actually fucking understand the full situation.

Therefore your opinion you can shove it in your ass.

Like I don’t know how else to explain this topic or subject.

Because just like with the person attacking my life.

I thought I knew it all.

I thought I was justified.

And like doing negative things toward them allegedly.

But I wasn’t.

Even though something was negative and bad.

It was still helping me.

So me attacking that.

Like I’m the fucking asshole.

You know.

Like I thought I was justified this whole time.

And I’m just as much of a fucking dick as the other guy.

You know.

It’s not justified or equal like I thought it was.

And this entire experience made me question my entire view on justification.

Like if you need to justify something you’re doing.

Don’t do it.

And also it made me realize with these fucking weirdos commenting observations on TikTok.

If you don’t learn how to control your reaction to things.

You will be controlled.

That’s kind of the same lesson I learned with the person attacking my life.

Like I’m powerless to what other people decide to do.

Everyone is.

You are powerless.

You can’t control what other people do.

You can’t.

You can’t control what they say.

You can’t control what they do.

But you can control how you react to it.

You cannot control the way that it makes you feel.

Because if it triggers you and you get upset.

You can’t control that.

You cannot control your emotions.

I don’t give a flying fuck who tells you you can, you can’t.

But you 100% can control the way that you react to your emotions.

Are you going to let them run you?

Are you going to get upset about something and let that trigger you to take certain actions?

Or are you going to sit the fuck down and be logical?

Are you just going to be run by your emotions?

Because that’s a powerless way to live.

Or are you going to understand how to get a hold of your emotions.

Allow them to come up when they come up.

And to stay fucking put when you’re in a serious emotional state.

Like if you’re really fucking pissed off or you’re extremely sad.

You need to learn how to not take action when you’re in that place.

You need to just sit in it.

Don’t fucking act.

Because you’re not thinking clearly.

Your judgment is not where it should be.

You are not level headed.

And you will most likely regret whatever action or decision you make.

In the headspace you’re in when you’re extremely emotional.

So like I said.

You can live powerless to your emotions.

Or you can learn how to fucking control yourself.

And that is emotional maturity.

And people are not taught that.

I really want to become like some kind of teacher.

And go to schools.

Like middle schools and high schools.

And teach people emotional intelligence.

Like fuck that dare program.

Like drugs are bad.

Like no bitch they’re fun.

Okay you need to watch out.

You need to be careful.

But what’s more important is teaching people how to deal with their emotions.

And teaching emotional maturity.

And control.

Because you know what?

You’re not going to go take a handful of fucking drugs.

If you know how to control your emotions.

You’re not going to get pissed off.

Or get really sad.

And go do something detrimental.

You’re not going to use those drugs.

Because you know not to act when you’re in that emotional state.


And that’s something I definitely want to do when I’m older.

I’m too young to be doing that shit now.

Like I’m 23 get real.

Who’s going to listen to me?

I’m just going to sit here on my little podcast.

But that’s something I would really like to do is.

Like in the future.

Go around to schools and do like a big presentation.

Or even teach a class.

Like go and be a teacher at a school.

And not even for the money.

But just like help the next generation coming up.

Like that’s what needs to be fucking taught in school.

Is how to deal with your god damn emotions.

That’s it.

Literally that.

That is what is important.

And relationships.

You need to be educated on relationships.

Like I’m not even just talking like dating.

Like every relationship in your life.

A friendship.

A family.

Like your parents.

Your sister.

Your brother.

Like a romantic relationship.


Like your boss.

Your manager.

You have a relationship with them.

Your co-workers.

You need to learn how to manage relationships.

And that’s something I think should be taught.

What am I even going on about?

I’m not sure why I just rambled so long about that fucking part.

And what needs to be taught in schools.

That’s just me becoming aware and being aggravated over here.

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That’s all I got for this episode.

I hope you guys enjoyed it.

I hope you took something from it.

And thank you for listening to me rant.

Love you.