Hi friends! Today we’re talking about value and I have to hit you where it

hurts with this one. This one’s gonna suck and there’s a lot of shit that you

need to hear that you don’t want to hear. But it’s like having a wound and you got

a band-aid on it. I have to rip the band-aid off so I can heal the wound, you

know? I gotta like fix it, but I gotta cause you a little pain first. I gotta

rip that fucking band-aid off and show you what you’re doing wrong. So this

episode is not gonna be about loving yourself. That can be a whole podcast in

itself because that’s so promoted right now in the mental health community, field,

social media. Every Joe Schmo is talking about how to love yourself. Little do

they know they have no clue what the fuck they’re talking about. That’s not

what I’m doing today. I’m not gonna like bully all them. I’m gonna talk about

value, how to feel valuable, how to see your own value, and what to do when you

don’t feel valuable. So to kick this bitch off, let’s talk about affirmations

for a second. So you know how everyone is telling you to like go get in the

mirror and tell yourself good things about yourself? And they’re like, okay, go

tell yourself, I’m pretty. I’m valuable. If you don’t feel that about yourself, when

you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that, it’s gonna feel like

a contradiction. You’re gonna feel like shit afterward because you feel one way

and you’re standing in the mirror telling yourself something and it feels

like a lie. It doesn’t feel good to feel lied to. So if you don’t feel valuable,

don’t go get in the mirror and say, I am valuable. It’s invalidating. Something

people don’t realize about the whole affirmation shit is it makes them feel

like they’re doing something without actually having to do something. It’s

kind of like praying when people are like, oh yeah, I’ll pray for you. Like

bitch, you just want to pretend like you’re doing something and feel like you

did something. You didn’t. So the affirmation shit, when people say, you go

in the mirror and you say, I’m valuable. So you just get to walk off after that

and be like, well, I told myself I am. So let’s hope it works. Maybe if I do this

for a week, I’ll feel valuable when it’s not going to happen and it’s not going

to work. And you’re probably going to quit after day three. Cause what the

fuck? I’ve been there. And the only way I can talk to you about all these things

that I can talk about is because I have been there. I have done all the shit that

people say to do, and it just hasn’t worked. And then I’ve had to help myself.

So that’s basically what my entire podcast is, is me sharing with you what

I’ve learned when everything else has failed. So don’t think I’m like talking

down to you because bitch, I was the asshole in the mirror for a long time

trying to talk to myself and like tell myself I’m valuable. Like it doesn’t

fucking work. What you need to do instead is ask yourself, how am I

valuable? Start asking the question of where is my value? How am I valuable?

And your brain is going to have to start looking for proof of that. If you just

walk up to the fucking mirror and tell yourself a statement, I am valuable.

There’s no work to be done. You just told yourself a statement, whether you

believe it or not, and you get to go on your way. You know what I mean? But if

you ask the question, how am I valuable? You’re going to start seeing it. And

then you’re going to start feeling valuable because now you see things you

didn’t see before, but you won’t see it until you ask yourself the question. You

have to tell your brain what direction to think. So if you’re in a place where

you don’t really feel that valuable, that’s your first step. So something

about me is I like external validation. I like for people to tell me I’m cute and

to tell me that I’m smart and to tell me that I’m funny. And I didn’t have that

and didn’t get that for so long in my life. When I went to my therapist, when I

was like going to counseling and shit, my counselor was always like, you don’t

need other people to tell you you’re valuable to feel valuable. And I was like,

I know. Okay, cool. But I still want it. And she was like, Leo, you don’t need to

want it. And I was like, Well, I don’t know how to not want it. Like, I know I

shouldn’t need it. But bitch, I still want it. Like I want other people to see

that I’m valuable. I want other people to like appreciate me. And she was like,

Leo, that’s the whole fill your cup thing. Like you need to fill your own cup.

And I was like, bitch, I don’t want to, like, okay, I can fill my cup. But like,

I still want other people to pour into my cup. Like I like the validation and so

many people make it a bad thing to want others to appreciate you. And I’m over

here like no bitch, I want that. I want people to like me. But fighting with her

about that pushed me to a realization of value is just dependent on what someone

needs. So if you’re looking to other people to see your value, nothing wrong

with it. You have no control over that because you have no control over what

someone wants or needs. So if you can meet a need for a person, you’re valuable

to them. Or if you can help them get something that they want, or feel a way

that they want, you’re valuable to them. So this is where your childhood could

make or break you. Like it could have really helped you or really fucked you

with the people around you and what they saw as valuable or not. Because if you

weren’t able to meet needs for them in the way that they wanted, or you weren’t

able to be what they wanted you to be, you were sent the message you’re

worthless. So let’s say there’s a child that’s born to a family that values

sports and athletics and they want their kid to be like a fucking football player

or a track star or tennis player or whatever they want. They want their kid

to be athletic. The parent has a need of having an athletic child. If they were

born a kid that is not athletic, they’re gonna be fucking annoyed with it. They’re

gonna try and force it to be what they want it to be. And no matter what that

child does, if they’re just not good at sports, they’re just not good at them. You

know some people are just awkward with their body and they’re not athletic. Some

people just can’t do it. And that’s not wrong or bad, that’s just how some people

are. Like some people just aren’t athletic. So this kid that’s not good at

athletics is gonna constantly feel like a fuck-up to its parents because the

parents want a football player. And if the kid is skinny and he’s like not that

athletic and he’s not aggressive and he doesn’t want to like go play football, he

can try. He can force himself to try and do what he doesn’t like to do to make

his parents happy. And that’s what you do as a toddler. Because remember my one

episode? I forget which one it was. I think it was Caring How People Think. I

told you we’re all wired for human connection and we’re gonna do what keeps

us close to others. So as a kid, if what you think is gonna gain you closeness

from your parents is what you’re gonna try and do. So this kid that’s not

athletic is gonna go try and be athletic. It’s gonna take so much effort from him

and it’s not ever gonna be good enough. He’s gonna fucking hate his life and

he’s never really gonna be that good. And he’s gonna feel worthless to his parents

because all they want is that athletic kid. They don’t care if their child is

artistic. They don’t care if the kid is creative. They don’t care if he’s a

fucking math genius. What they want is an athletic child. What they got is not that.

So the kid could have another talent or something that they’re really really

good at. And side note, every single person does have something we’re

inherently good at. I’ll make a whole video about finding your purpose because

that’s what that is. Video. I meant episode. Like a podcast. I’ll make an

entire podcast about finding your purpose. If the kid can’t meet the needs

the parent has, the parent is not gonna think the kid’s valuable. At the core of

it. I know people don’t like to admit that and it’s not good to say that you

don’t like your kid or you don’t want your kid or whatever but that’s kind of

the way they’re gonna be focused at their kid. But this kid is never gonna

see its purpose and the reason we all feel so fucking lost is because we’re

trained and formed into what society wants us to be or our parents. Like no

one’s trained and taught how to go in the direction of what they’re naturally

good at. So this kid that could be very artistic is gonna be expected to be

athletic and he’s not gonna be. But if your parents or the people around you

growing up didn’t see what you could do and what you were good at as valuable,

you were never taught to see it as valuable. There are some kids that are

able to be what their parent wants them to be. But like I said with this kid, if

he’s actually creative but he forces himself to be athletic and spend his

whole life playing football, he’s never gonna be fulfilled by it. He’s gonna

always feel like there’s just something wrong with him inside. He’s always gonna

be unfulfilled. He’s gonna know he doesn’t really enjoy it that much but

he’s just gonna know like that’s that’s what feels good and it’s like I’ll just

keep doing it I guess because I’m good at it. When in reality you trained

yourself to be good at it and it’s the thing that got you attention and

closeness so you’ve been your brains been wired to like relate the feeling of

acceptance with doing that activity. And some people might never understand that

that’s actually not what they’re meant to be doing. They’re just gonna know that

they’re fucking drained by what they’re doing. They don’t fucking like it but it

gets them approval and so that feels good but they don’t understand why it

feels good. So they’re just gonna think okay I guess this is just how it’s

supposed to go like I guess I’ll just keep doing it because that’s what

they’re taught. But you’re gonna run into a wall one day when you fucking despise

it and to stop doing it you’re scared you’re gonna lose everyone around you. So

then you’re in a catch of like keep being miserable to be connected to

others or go do what I actually want to do because how many football players and

how many sports stars retire bitch and start doing some weird-ass shit a lot.

But my point with meeting the needs that your parents have they’re the first

people to reflect you your value and if you were born to a parent that didn’t

want a child and they abandoned you and you’re adopted or you were dropped off

at someone’s house and you have different caretakers than your actual

birth parents your first signal you just got sent is that you’re unwanted. So

that’s got major implications for what it does to your psyche even before you’re

aware of understanding what’s going on like it fucks you up more than you

realize like people don’t understand people think because the kid doesn’t

know that something doesn’t hurt them. No. They’re subconscious and everything

is aware their fucking body is aware when they are abandoned their body

senses it their body knows their parents. There’s not much science about this

there’s not much science about consciousness because you can’t fucking

prove it you can’t touch it so you can’t experiment on it they can do what they

can but technology has only gotten so far like no one actually knows how bad

shit actually hurts you but your first signal sent to you by your parent is

that you’re fucking worthless you’re unwanted and they got rid of you that

sends you the message that you have no value because something valuable is held

on to versus if you were born to a mother that wanted nothing more than to

have a child like you wouldn’t have to do anything special you wouldn’t have to

be anything anything spectacular you wouldn’t have to put effort into living

and like feeling like you had to earn love and earn you’re like being seen as

valuable by somebody just being a child to a woman that wanted a child would

make you feel so valuable you would grow up feeling so loved and so important and

so worthy because just existing and being that child for that mother is

enough so it’s just about the perspective and the needs and wants of a

person and your first real interaction with that is your parents and like your

caretakers there’s so many more examples I can give you but one from my

own life is my dad is an incredible mechanic like he’s a car salesman he’s a

mechanic he has his own business like he’s the best you can fucking find and

whenever someone can’t fix a car they send it to him and he fixes it within a

few minutes like I’m not saying this to just like hype him up like a credit I

give credit where it’s due and he deserves so much fucking credit for the

skills and the knowledge he has like he is so fucking talented when it comes to

cars it’s insane but it’s like if my dad if what he wanted was a son to carry on

his business I would be perceived as a royal fuckup by him I would be perceived

as having no value and like I’m worthless luckily he does not want that

he doesn’t want no one to take on his business he wants it to die with him and

I’m fine with that because I have no fucking interest in cars I could give

two shits as long as it fucking gets me from point A to point B and it’s black

and it looks cute I’m fine I know basic repairs and basic maintenance on cars

and shit because you can’t not when you’re born to someone like that but my

point is if my dad had the need of I want my child to carry on the business

my son and he was born a son that was not able to meet that need that child

will always feel worthless I know that’s like a broad statement to make

but so much is gonna get reflected in my life that I’m not what he wants I’m not

of use when I’m not good at memorizing what car is what and when I’m not good

at fixing cars and I don’t have this just motivation to go to work with him

and learn about all this shit he’s gonna focus at me with an attitude of

irritation and annoyance and like what the fuck is wrong with you like you’re

supposed to carry on my business why do you have no interest you know what I

mean because what I’m good at is seeing different perspectives I have this weird

like ability that I just see different realities and I see shit that other

people don’t see so you can tell from my podcast that my brain works in a very

complex way I’m very big on emotional intelligence meeting people’s emotional

needs seeing people in their pain offering new perspectives solutions

shit like that I’m good at being like a critical thinker and solving problems

that is my main fucking thing that my brain just does on its own that’s kind

of like my specialty where my dad’s specialty is cars and everything to do

with them mine is a lot different because my dad is not aware that human

beings have emotional needs like he he doesn’t get it he doesn’t like operate

like that he doesn’t have the understanding of certain things that I

have a great understanding of like it’s just so funny if you look at us because

if you put him and what I do he would have no fucking clue what was going on

and you put me and what he does and like I have no fucking clue what’s going on

it’s like two foreign languages but me and him are both good at such different

things but if you’re born to a parent and you’re not good at what they want

you to be good at and you never find your thing that you’re good at you will

always feel fucking worthless because that’s the message you were sent for so

long by that parent like something’s fucking wrong with you but the

perspective about people finding what they’re good at and that being good or

bad is really just depends on who you’re around who you were born to the

environment you grew up in because being good at what I’m good at and my brain

working the way it does has never been seen valuable by my dad he doesn’t

really like get it like he appreciates my smarts and what I do and he

appreciates my podcast for what it is he hasn’t listened to it but he like he

gets that I’m making an impact he understands the concept of my app he

appreciates that I’m doing my own thing he allows me to do it and he supports me

doing it but if I didn’t have a parent like that and I had someone that was

trying to steer me in the direction of you need to take on my fucking business

fuck all this mental health shit that doesn’t make fucking sense and I was

just like okay so I abandoned it all or I never even got into psychology in the

first place and I was just trying to force myself to learn cars I’m gonna be

fucking miserable and like I said about the football player you’re just gonna

feel like you have something wrong with you it’s not gonna be easy you’re gonna

fucking hate it you’re gonna hate your fucking life like if I had to go work on

cars every day I would kill myself I would not want to fucking do that if I

was taught against that and I had to go run my dad’s business I would never be

as good as him because that’s something he genuinely enjoys and something that

he loves so when he does it he’s extraordinary at it he’s okay with

putting in the time and the effort and everything it takes to be so good at

what he does it would take so much more effort from me and I would never be as

good and if I was able to be as good it would take so much more energy from me

and I would hate my fucking life so being born to a parent that doesn’t see

what your interests or your talents are as good or like valid if you’re born to

a parent that doesn’t see that or appreciate that you’re never gonna be

taught to appreciate it you’re never gonna be taught that you are capable of

doing something valuable and part of the reason that I’m so independent and smart

and self-sufficient and I seem like I don’t need people is because that is

something my parents needed from me when I was younger they needed a kid that was

self-sufficient so that’s what I had to become they needed a kid that didn’t

need them it’s kind of like how I am with my cat like I don’t want a fucking

pet that needs a lot of maintenance and don’t fucking bother me like take care

of yourself let’s hang out be fun be cute like do your thing I’m gonna do my

thing that’s kind of like how things were for me growing up with the adults

in my life not even just my parents it’s like all adults it was like the fact

that I had needs was annoying and I didn’t really feel useful of meeting

people’s needs in my life and what I mean by meeting needs is like being of

use to them and I’m not saying that was all the time there was so many great

things about my childhood and so many things I’m thankful for but like an

overall theme or a consistent theme was it was annoying for me to have needs so

I had to adapt and learn to meet them for myself or pretend I didn’t have

them that was like my developmental years was like just stay out of my way

mind your business do your thing I’m living my life that’s kind of how things

were when I was like 13 so that’s an example of your parent having a need of

you not being in the way so if you are a needy kid and you aren’t able to meet

the needs for yourself your parents gonna get mad at you because what they

want is for you to say the fuck out of their way but that bites you in the

fucking ass bigger than shit because when your parent wants nothing more than

just to be left alone because it kind of sends you the message that you don’t

really have value because if someone is valuable and something worth

appreciating you’d want to be around them you’d want them in your life you’ve

you would care to meet their needs you would care to make sure that they were

alright like I said I’m gonna do a podcast about finding your purpose but I

have a journal prompt in my app so like a bunch of questions to ask yourself

that is gonna help you see your value my app is called positive focus and the

prompt that I’m talking about is labeled find your purpose so the questions in

that are gonna help you see the way you can offer value to others it’s really

gonna help you see yourself in a different light and it will totally make

you see shit about yourself that you did not even see was valuable you’ll it’ll

help you a lot but it will also help you get closer to finding out what your

purpose is so it’s good for both things but it’s really really good for seeing

your value because the perspectives I shared in that and the questions that I

put in that are what I learned to get where I am now to go from not

appreciating anything about myself to seeing things to appreciate like

thinking I had nothing to fucking like offer that was valuable to feeling

valuable and not even just to offer like just being like my analogy of being born

to the mom that just wants the child just to have a child like to just have

that unwavering unconditional appreciation for something I didn’t

think I had anything that was worth appreciating so definitely check that

out if it sounds like something you’re interested in I’ll put the link to my

app in the description of this podcast or if you want to search it in the App

Store it’s in the Apple App Store and Google Play it’s called positive focus

it’s just the blue eye that’s what the icon is it’s a blue eyeball so get it if

you want it and let me know what you think I really hope you like it

okay so like I said value depends on needs what someone wants and needs I’m

gonna give you another example hookups if you are going to meet someone for a

hookup and that person is only looking to get their dick wet that is all they’re

gonna see about you so when you go hang out and you go fuck them because you

wanted to hook up you go fuck them and then you leave and then you’re wondering

why is this person not acting like I’m God’s gift of fucking earth especially

if they’re a little bit uglier than you you’re gonna be wondering like why the

fuck are they not chasing me I’m the best thing that just happened to them

why are they not like trying to eat my ass every fucking day it’s because all

they wanted was to get off they were not looking at you for the other things that

were valuable about you so they didn’t see any like they were just looking to

get off you were an object to them so this will completely fuck your sense of

like value and self-esteem if you let it because if you let an ugly motherfucker

like hook up with you and then they don’t chase you around afterward and

you’re secretly hoping they will and then they don’t oh my god you have to

realize what that person was looking for and what they needed was to get off

that’s what they wanted that’s all they were gonna see they were gonna see you

were hot and you were good enough to do a job you did it you’re gone you met

that need okay you were valuable for that now if you’re secretly hoping

they’ll like see how great you were and then want a relationship with you or

pursue you more or want to do this that and the other they’re not going to they

did not see anything else about you besides the fact that you were something

to get off on they were not looking for how you were a genuine person or how you

were considerate or how you were sweet or looking at how you were smart and how

your brain worked and any other fucking thing that could make you like feel

valuable they were not looking for it so they did not see it they did not care

and that will leave you feeling like you have no fucking value and like you

really aren’t that special if you look at that experience like that like I said

my dad’s good at cars and I’m good at emotional shit so it depends on who

needs what if someone breaks down on the side of the road I am useless to them I

mean I’m good to hang out I can like help protect you but I’m not gonna fix

your problem my dad is the one to call my dad is the motherfucker that will

fix your car and get you on the road what you need is your car fixed he’s the

guy that can do it he’s valuable to you in that moment I’m worthless but if

someone is going through something and they need emotional needs met I’m the

motherfucker to call my dad is useless it’s just about who needs you but someone

with their car broken down on the side of the road is not gonna give a fuck who

comes by if they’re not a mechanic like they’re not gonna be looking for their

next partner or someone that could be there for them emotionally or someone

that was so great or this and that because the problem they’re focused on

and the problem that they have is that their car is broken down they’re looking

for a way to fix it they’re blind to anything else most people but what

they’re focused on is not me like they’re they want a mechanic they don’t

it doesn’t matter how good I am and how gifted I am at psychology and like being

there for people and seeing different realities it doesn’t fucking matter so

they’re not focused on it like with the hookup thing it doesn’t matter how great

you are if the person just wants to fuck that’s all they’re gonna see is that

you’re something to fuck they’re not gonna see oh you could potentially be a

great partner that’s not what they’re looking for when they go looking for a

partner then they might think of you and be like oh well that bitch had all this

this and that so maybe I should hit her up you know but they’re not gonna realize

it in the moment when they’re focused on one need if you’re faced with

situations where you are not the one people ever need you’re gonna feel

worthless that’s why it is so important to figure out what the fuck you’re good

at or to use any skills you do have to be able to provide value to others and

to help other people that’s where your self-esteem is gonna come from that’s

where your sense of value is gonna come from because if you don’t know the way

that you can help you’re not gonna help and people are not gonna know to reach

out to you or ask you for anything and you’re gonna feel fucking worthless but

you don’t always have to contribute to be valuable because like I said remember

if you were born to a woman that just wanted nothing more than to be a mother

any child she had would have been valuable to her so you don’t have to be

doing things to feel valuable but that’s just one way you can get that feeling

you know like there’s two ways to go about it but the one in your control is

what you can do for others and what you can provide so since I just brought up

the whole hookup analogy it takes someone of value to recognize value in

someone else so if they don’t have it in them they’re not gonna fucking see it in

you an example of this is basic like consideration when you meet somebody or

if you’re interested you’re gonna date if someone is inconsiderate they’re not

gonna see the fact that you’re considerate as valuable they’re not

gonna give a fuck and they’re gonna leave you on read and be rude and like

flake on plans and be just really inconsiderate someone that is

considerate will appreciate the fact that you are considerate because they

have it and they can see it and can appreciate it so use that as kind of

like a reference when you don’t feel valuable to somebody let that be a red

fucking flag to look at them a little bit closer and see what they lack

because if they’re not seeing the value in you they don’t have the same things

that you’re able to contribute and offer and them so don’t get caught up with

trying to figure out why you’re not good enough why they don’t like you hold the

fuck on for a second and look at hey maybe I might not like them maybe they

might actually not be shit because someone of value is gonna see your value

and make you feel valuable so don’t attack yourself don’t try to beat

yourself up and figure out what’s wrong with you nothing they don’t value the

thing that you have and that’s okay not everybody’s going to but there are

people that will and the people that will value what you have will value it

so much fucking more than the people you have to convince to value you and if you

are questioning your value I’m sorry because that means that you’ve gone

through your life where people have not reflected it to you or you’ve lined up

with a lot of fucking people that don’t value what you have to offer and I’m

here to tell you it does not mean you have nothing to offer it does not mean

you’re worthless you just been around the wrong motherfuckers for way too long

so start looking for the things that reflect your value and I am gonna make

fun of social media really quick and make you aware of just one extra thing

is social media is not the place to do it because social media reflects only

one type of value mainly and it’s the way that you look or is how much money

you have don’t get too caught up and letting that be your only source of

like reflection of your value because it’s skewed and fucked up but it does

feel good sometimes so this next example I’m about to give you is something that

ties in all the points I’m trying to make with this episode pretty much and I

really like it it’s kind of wacky but me and my sister came up with it a couple

of months ago and I think it’s fucking perfect so here it is so let’s say we’re

in Walmart and someone left their Birkin on one of the shelves if you don’t know

what a Birkin is it is one of the most expensive handbags in the world so let’s

say there’s a fucking black crocodile Birkin on the shelf they’re around a

hundred grand if you’re in Walmart chances are a lot of people are gonna be

walking by that bag and have no fucking clue what it is they’re not gonna give

it a second glance when they walk by it on the shelf they’re not really gonna

look at it they’re not gonna pay attention they’re not really gonna give

a fuck but if I’m in Walmart and I walk by that bag and I see it’s a

motherfucking crocodile Birkin I am NOT leaving that store without it I’m stealing

that motherfucker I sure am I would most likely look in the wallet and get the ID

and find whose purse it is if I can give it to them but I’m still taking that

purse even if I take it and like go home with it I’m still gonna have it for a

couple days and just play with it while I find out who the owner is you know

bitch but my point is people in Walmart that are walking around have no fucking

clue what a Birkin is most of them they don’t understand that there is a

hundred-thousand-dollar bag sitting on the shelf it takes someone with certain

awareness of something’s value to be able to recognize it because everyone

that doesn’t understand that’s a Birkin is not gonna look twice at it me I’m

stealing it so let’s go into the perspective of the Birkin let’s say

you’re the Birkin sitting on the shelf and you know you are $100,000 and you’re

watching all these people walk by you and not even like look at you twice

they’re not giving you the time of day they don’t even give a fuck that you’re

there they’re acting like you’re nobody if you’re someone that feels very

valuable and you know your value and you’re surrounded by people that don’t

see it you’re gonna question it so if you’re the Birkin you’re gonna be like

man what the fuck like I’m crocodile like I’m a crocodile Birkin I’m not a

leather one like I’m not 10 grand I’m a hundred grand I’m a fucking crocodile

Birkin and people are not even looking at me what the hell like you will sit

there and you’ll start getting dust on you because people just are not picking

you up they’re not like understanding what’s in front of them because you’re

not meant to be in Walmart you’re not meant to fucking be there you are meant

to be at a mall you are meant to be in the fucking Hermes store you are meant

to be where people can see your value so get the fuck out of Walmart if you’re in

a place where no one is recognizing your value leave go to where you can be

recognized now let’s talk about if someone that doesn’t understand that

it’s a Birkin just takes the bag they think it’s a little $50 purse and they

fucking go home with it they’re gonna trash it they’re gonna fucking throw it

around in the car they’re gonna throw it around in the house they’re not gonna be

gentle with they’re gonna set it on the floor when they go to a restaurant like

they’re just gonna beat the bag up and not give a fuck they’re gonna mistreat

it because they don’t know what the value is and if you are the Birkin I

know it’s an inanimate object but like here the example out if you’re the

Birkin you’re gonna be being mistreated by this person like what the fuck like I

am $100,000 and you are treating me like I am fucking $5 and human beings in the

position of being the Birkin which is what you are you’re gonna start

questioning your value and people treating you like your average long

enough will make you believe your average so this Birkin will get beat the

fuck up this beautiful $100,000 crocodile Birkin will be fucking

demolished by the person that does not appreciate it and understand the value

in it versus if I walked in that fucking Walmart and I found that Birkin bitch I’m

taking it home and putting it in a dust bag I’m putting it on the top of my

closet I’m fucking taking care of it I’m babying it I’m wiping any speck of dust

off of it I’m not letting people touch it no one can hold it without a glove

like I’m gonna baby the fuck out of it and treat it so valuable because I see

that it’s valuable but when it comes to people seeing your value if you’re the

Birkin in Walmart so if you are something of high value in a place where

people are not seeing the value the chances of someone walking in and

understanding that you’re valuable are low it’s not zero because I go to

Walmart sometimes bitch if I saw a Birkin and I saw your value I would

snatch you I would literally steal you in 2.5 seconds so there’s always a

chance for someone to see your value but you need to put yourself in the

positions where it can happen more often like I said the Birkin needs to be at

the mall because it will always feel valuable in that place because there

it’s gonna be surrounded by people that recognize and know the value of it so

there’s never no hope no matter where you are like even the Birkin in Walmart

put the motherfucker in Dollar Tree the chances are slimmer but someone still

might walk in there and see the value because I go to Dollar Tree I do want to

point out that there are so many little things that are valuable about yourself

that you’d overlook on a daily basis so one of the best things you can do is

look at yourself like you’re meeting yourself for the first time what would

you appreciate about yourself if you were gonna be friends with you what

would you appreciate about yourself like what little things and what little quirks

do you have where you’d be like oh my god I would think that was so cute or I

would love this so much if I found this in someone else and then do it from a

relationship standpoint so do it from like you’re dating yourself and look at

all the little things that you would love to date someone that has these

things that you have and trying to look for how you’re valuable and things to

appreciate about yourself will make you see the value and then once you see the

value you can’t not feel valuable anymore but I do need to give you a big

fat fucking warning and it is about realizing your value because if you’ve

lived so long of your life not seeing certain things about yourself as

valuable and feeling kind of like worthless when you become aware of the

ways that you are valuable everything in your life will have to change and I mean

everything so if you start realizing you actually are a lot more valuable than

you’ve thought and there’s so many little things about yourself and you

appreciate so many things now if you’re dating someone that treats you like shit

it’s gonna become a lot harder to stay with them like I said it’s all fun and

games until you gain awareness it’s gonna now be miserable to be with this

person you’re gonna be like why the fuck are you treating me like that but all

that happened was the mindset shift of you became aware of your value so you’re

gonna turn on that person no one knows you just had this revelation about all

the things that you now see about yourself as valuable so your partner’s

not gonna know anything has changed so the way that they’ve been treating you

that you’ve been tolerating there you’re gonna expect them to change it

now and they’re gonna be like what the fuck that’s one of the warnings another

one is your job another one is your friendships another one is your family

anyone around you that treats you anything less than what you now feel

worth you’re gonna fucking hate and you’re gonna have to get away from so

this comes with a price you have to be willing to pay the price of changing

your entire life if you’re gonna start going down the route of trying to value

yourself and see your value you’re gonna realize that you were the hundred

thousand dollar Birkin that went home with a crackhead and now they’re

throwing you around and beating you to shit they’re not seeing the value in you

and now once you realize that and you’re like fuck no I should be at the mall

you’re gonna have to go to the mall you’re gonna have to leave these

relationships and get away from these people that are treating you like shit

but like I said you’re not aware that you’re being treated like shit right now

once you start questioning things is what you’re gonna realize yo I’ve been

treated like ass that’s why I don’t value myself because I’m around so-and-so

and they treat me like this and I’ve thought this was just okay and normal

and I thought I deserved this you’re gonna get a lot more picky with the way

that people talk to you you’re gonna start wanting to smack the fuck out of

some people and trust me I’ve been there I’ve smacked the fuck out of plenty of

people in my day and I will continue to do so like bitch I don’t give a fuck

about how spiritual or how aware that I get sometimes a motherfucker just needs

to be hit sometimes the violence is the only answer sorry it’s the truth so

let’s say you do start doing all this then you’re gonna get to the point where

you’re like okay for me to value myself and choose myself and see what’s

valuable about myself I have to be alone you’re gonna realize everyone around you

is not worth you or has not been treating you how you’re worth and if

they don’t decide to like treat you better then you’re gonna want to say the

fuck away from them so then you’re gonna get into the internal conflict and this

is something no one fucking tells you about and no one warns you about but I

will you might start resenting yourself and that’s normal because you’re gonna

be like god damn it like why can’t I just tolerate being treated like shit

anymore because now I have to be alone like picking myself and valuing myself

now I’m alone now I have nobody but like I said in order for you to go back into

the way that you were treated before it’s gonna feel like shit so now you’re

gonna feel stuck in a situation where you’re like I’m alone and I feel like

shit or I can go be with the people that I know and feel like shit it’s just

which feel like shit do I want to choose and I’m here to tell you that there’s an

extra option it’s to go find people that will value you go to the mall if

you’re the Birkin go to the mall that’s where all the people are that will value

you so when you start realizing all these things about yourself that are

valuable and you see all the ways that you can be of use go be around the

people you are of use to go find them they’re looking for you just like all of

you were looking for someone real and someone who was gonna tell you the

fucking way it is you were looking for me and the people that need you are

looking for you trust me you just have to go find them get creative start

thinking of all the people you could be of use to

so remember when I said I’m gonna hit you where it hurts this is where I’m

gonna do that so if anything I’ve already said so far has hurt you put on

your seatbelt bitch because this is the part that’s actually gonna like hit you

it needs to so remember when I talked about affirmations and telling yourself

in the mirror I’m valuable you can’t tell yourself that you’re valuable and

continue to do things that are not in line with your value so when I said

you’re gonna have to make major life changes you are so if you start realizing

these valuable things about yourself you have to stop doing the things that

devalue you the biggest example is giving people access to you that should

not have access to you that are not of caliber and are not of quality you can’t

fuck around anymore you can’t be fucking every Joe Schmoe you want just because

you’re horny you have to start holding yourself to a certain standard because

you’re worth a lot and when you become aware of what you’re worth it’s kind of

a burden because you have to take care of this little treasure and there is

treasure in you and once you become aware of it now you have to take care of

it so you can’t just go be given it to every Joe fucking Schmoe your standards

are gonna have to remain solid there’s no more bending in your boundaries

there’s no more oh I’m horny I’ll go fuck the little five out of ten because

I just want to no you’re gonna have to learn to control your emotions you’re

gonna have to learn how to get yourself under wraps and stop devaluing yourself

with your actions the way you eat is gonna have to change you can’t tell

yourself you value yourself and eat like shit and put bad things into you

you’re gonna have to start exercising taking care of your health you’re gonna

have to get your finances in check you’re not stop being reckless like

there’s so many things that come with valuing yourself that you have no idea

and this is just gonna happen naturally it’s not like you’re gonna have to

consciously choose to do this but this shit’s just gonna happen especially the

way that people talk to you you’re gonna be a lot more sensitive to disrespect

because now you feel of worth of something that can be disrespected you

feel like you deserve respect once you realize your value so the way people

talk to you is gonna have to change the way you talk to yourself is gonna have

to change the job you do is gonna have to change the pride you take in your

appearance will change you will put more effort into the way that you look and

the way that you dress that’s valuing yourself that’s what no one wants to

fucking talk about but that’s the truth and to tell yourself I value myself and

then go do the opposite of what someone would do that would value their self

you’re fucking lying to yourself but don’t worry because like I said it’s

just gonna happen naturally upon realizing your value because as soon as

you see something as valuable you treat it accordingly that’s just the way that

your brain is that’s the way that human beings are so really prepare for your

life to shift and if you’ve been trying to lose weight or if you’ve been trying

to respect yourself and watch the way people talk to you if there’s been these

things that you’ve been wanting to do and it just seems so difficult this is

the shortcut seeing your value is what’s gonna make it so much easier because

it’s gonna feel natural to eat what’s good for you and to exercise and to care

about the way that you look and to make motherfuckers watch their mouth when

they’re around you it’s just gonna come natural so it’s gonna feel like a lot

less effort to take care of yourself and to do all these things that you’ve been

wanting to do for so long so if you want to tell yourself I value myself

motherfucker you need to be someone of value you need to act someone of value

you don’t get to just throw that affirmation around I am valuable in the

mirror and not do any actions to back that up and all of this compounds so the

more that you take care of yourself the more you’re gonna feel valuable and the

more you’re gonna care about yourself because you only care about what you

invest in and when it starts to become natural and easy to invest in yourself

because you see your value it’s gonna compound because the more you invest the

more you care so it’s your sense of self is just gonna get stronger and stronger

your sense of value is just gonna get stronger and stronger and the shit that

you will and won’t put up with will change you will stop putting up with a

lot of bullshit so an example I have of this and stick

into your boundaries and your shit like that when you go to a club and there’s a

cover charge so if you go to a club and it’s ten bucks to get in what happens if

you don’t pay the ten bucks you don’t get in so you come correct you pay what

you’re supposed to or you don’t fucking get in the club doesn’t care who you are

you are the bouncer at the door you get to set what it costs to access you so if

you say basic consideration skills and basic communication are what it costs to

get access to me people can pay it or they can fuck off they’re not getting in

the club they’re not getting access to you you’re gonna feel a lot more

confident and you’re gonna feel a lot more justified in setting boundaries once

you realize your value and it will make you stick to them because why the fuck

would a club let someone in that can’t afford the $10 like if you’re gonna be

offering the service of having a good time pay to get in so if you’re gonna

offer all the value that you have to someone pay what I say to have access to

it and if you can’t afford it fuck off politely like if you can’t come at me

with basic communication and consideration you’re not getting access

to me I don’t mean it to be this aggressive but like get the fuck away

from me what did you think you were playing with bitch but that’s the thing

is a lot of people don’t realize what they have in front of them so they

mistreat it so that’s how I am now I’m like if you don’t see what’s in front of

you get the fuck away from me I don’t know who you thought you were playing

with but it’s not me so with this you will be a lot quicker to cut people off

and you were gonna feel a lot more justified in having boundaries because

you’re gonna realize something of value does not deserve to be fucked with and

as soon as you see yourself as something to value good luck everybody that

doesn’t treat it accordingly but like I said you’re the bouncer at the door so

you don’t get to clock out you constantly have to assess every single

person that is trying to come into your life you’re the bouncer you’re who boots

people to fuck out you are the person that says okay are you able to afford

what it costs to access me or are you not it’s not just a one-time thing

you’re gonna have to do this forever and it’s fine and it’s kind of fun and it

gets way easier because when a bouncer first starts working at a club they’re

not confident enough to just throw someone the fuck out and be mean like

that comes with time so the more you do it the easier it gets and the better

you’ll get at it and I’m not saying be mean to someone that doesn’t see your

value because if they don’t see your value and they’re not treating you

accordingly they’re not gonna understand that anything is wrong so if

you just start attacking them you’re the asshole in their eyes so politely

decline tell them to get the fuck away and move on if they disrespect you cuss

them the fuck out let me actually in the podcast on that so I hope this one was

helpful I know I said a lot of shit that could have hurt your feelings but I want

you to all know anything I ever say is with love and I’m trying to help I’m

never trying to hurt you if I’m trying to hurt you you’ll fucking know I will

link my app and my social media and all the other shit that I have and things

you could check out in the description of this if you did like this episode

leave my podcast the rating like a five-star rating nothing less than that

please but I hope you enjoyed it I hope you take something away from this and I

will talk to you next Sunday