Hi friends, so in this episode I’m gonna give you all the things I’ve learned

about being there for yourself and all the shortcuts that are gonna get you

comforted because I know what it’s like to not have anyone to turn to and not

know what the motherfuck to do with the way that you feel okay because sometimes

shit just happens and you don’t know what to do what to think where to go who

to go to if you have anyone like it’s just a fucking shit show and I know how

hard it is to navigate the way that your feelings so this episode I’m gonna

share everything I’ve learned because I’ve talked about it before and we all

know that I’ve gone through most of the like worst parts of my life alone and

even if I’ve had people around me I felt like they couldn’t get it like they

wouldn’t even understand or know how to begin to understand what I was going

through a feeling so I just didn’t talk to them like I truly felt alone and how

I felt but that led me to all the shit I know now it was very painful and it

sucked so if I can prevent you from having to go through that I’ve got you

so this is your cheat sheet and I also want to make this episode as a comfort

thing so when you are upset or you’re going through something or you’re not

feeling the best this is an episode you can go to for comfort because I always

look for that I always look for someone’s video or podcast or just

something to have on in the background when I’m upset like I just want to hear

someone fucking talk you know what I mean especially when you’re by yourself

like I just want to feel like someone’s there for me in a way even if it’s just

the voice you know so I want to make this episode for people like that

because a lot of you said that my episodes are comforting so this one is

specifically for that because I’m gonna tell you what the fuck to do we got this

so the first thing I want you to do when you’re feeling upset is look at is there

something causing you to feel the way that you do so you don’t have to

understand the way that you’re feeling but I just want you to look at is there

something that caused you to feel the way that you’re feeling right now did

something happen did an event happen did someone do something did something shift

that is causing you to feel the way you do right now so if someone broke up with

you and you’re sad no shit if you broke up with someone else and you’re sad no

shit like it makes total fucking sense if someone died no shit you’re sad if

one of your friends has just made you feel like they don’t really care about

you no shit you’re sad so first step is validating if something did happen that

the way you feel is normal and it’s expected but I do know sometimes that

you don’t have an explanation for the way that you feel one day you just wake

up in kind of a funk and you don’t like the way that you’re feeling you’re not

feeling down you’re feeling very sad and it’s just out of the blue so I’m gonna

give you tips on that too but I want to give you an example first about is there

something causing you to feel the way that you do something I used to

entertain a lot is the thought of not waking up it would feel good and it

started to scare me a little bit cuz I was kind of like happy about that

thought like oh if I didn’t wake up tomorrow it wouldn’t be the worst thing

ever like I’m talking about when I was going through shit I’m okay right now

don’t check on me bitch I’m fine but like in the past I would just kind of

entertain that thought and be like you know what if I didn’t wake up tomorrow I

wouldn’t be mad about it like it kind of would be a relief but if you’re

entertaining the thought of not waking up and it feels like relief but you

don’t actually have any plans to act on it then that’s your message right there

the way you feel is your message of you’re under too much fucking pressure

because if thinking about not waking up feels like relief it only is gonna feel

like relief when there’s something to be relieved of so you’re under too much

pressure right now in your life and that’s causing you to feel the way that

you do a lot of people will get scared if they even entertain the thought of oh

my god like not waking up wouldn’t be terrible like they get scared they freak

out and the way that they react to feeling that way is what makes it seem

worse and makes it seem like a problem but if you don’t look at it like a

problem you look at it like it’s a little message like what is it trying to

like what is this feeling trying to make me aware of what is the message that’s

coming through with it you’re under too much goddamn pressure bitch take some

off look for the areas in your life where you can stop spreading yourself so

thin where you can set yourself off the hook mentally because you’re beating

yourself up a lot and you’re holding yourself to really high standards so get

realistic with it reevaluate the pressure you’re under and brainstorm

some ways to get some of it off of you okay so even if it’s just a little

mental things mental shifts you can make to get rid of some pressure that you’re

putting on yourself great but there’s nothing ever wrong with the way that you

feel ever nothing is ever wrong with the way that you fucking feel it’s

understandable and it’s explainable so let’s move into when you’re just in a

funk and you don’t understand why you feel the way that you do I go through

this a lot and every time I’m about to have some like breakthrough fucking

realization that changes my life I’m sick of them like I’ll get this weird

funk for a couple of days and it’s not really like it’s a breakdown but kind of

it’s like it’s my message that everything in my life needs to be broken

down like I need to change some shit because the way that I’m going is not

right it’s like I’ll just get into a funk I’ll get like into this like little

pit of like sadness for a couple of days and I don’t understand where it

came from it just comes up but I love the way that Teal Swan talks about being

upset so she flips it she says when you’re upset just flip the word upset

and look at it as a setup you’re being set up to become aware of something and

I fucking love that and that will shift your entire perspective on all of this

so if you’re being set up to learn something by the way that you feel and

like I said the way you feel is never wrong then the way you feel is a little

messenger I look at it like it’s a messenger it’s a little visitor so

whenever I get into a funk I look at the funk of like the couple day period or

week or whatever it’s gonna be I look at it like this little feeling state and

this little feeling of being down as a messenger it’s a visitor it’s coming to

visit me to make me aware of something and I always notice in the beginning of

my funk I’m like trying to figure it out immediately I’m like what the fuck is

the what is it what is it like I just want to know what the fucking message is

and figure it out so that this feeling could go away but that’s not how you

treat a visitor like you don’t want to treat a visitor like you just want to

get rid of it you want to make the visitor feel welcome you want to make

them feel like they’re okay to hang out and stay and that’s the way you need to

respond to this funk that you feel you need to understand it’s a visitor it’s

got a message so treat it like that allow it to come into your life and

allow this funk to come in and just sit with it make space for it let it hang

out it’s got a message for you so make it comfortable and let it stay as long

as it needs to because it’s here to help you and I want to make sure everybody

understands that part because just this mindset shift about the way you’re

feeling is going to change everything so when I say you need to make room for

the visitor you need to allow this visitor of this funk of this negative

feeling state or this just down feel that’s how I feel I feel just very down

when I get into the funk it’s like I’m not inspired by anything I’m not

encouraged I’m not motivated I’m not happy about a fuck thing it’s like a

come down that’s how I feel like it’s that level of like I don’t really want

to live and it’s not that I want to die I just feel nothing positive to make me

want to live that’s the little bit of like funk it’s like a numbness and kind

of just like a down feeling like a little down state I don’t know but when

you’re in this state I want to reassure you it is completely fucking normal to

start questioning everything you’re gonna question everything about yourself

your self-confidence what you’re doing what you like what you don’t like

decisions that you’ve made people you’ve cut off you’re gonna start questioning

everything your job what you want to do with life what you’ve been doing like

literally your style the way you look everything is about this part to like be

questioned and that’s just what comes with being in this mind frame and having

this little funk come over you I just want to reassure you of that because

people don’t fucking tell you that people don’t warn you about that do not

take any questioning serious that you notice in this funk so this is my way of

like weeding out okay what thoughts should I trust and what should I not

trust so start observing yourself questioning shit like you have to become

aware that you’re questioning things and it’s not gonna feel good it’s gonna feel

fucking painful and if you just let yourself mindlessly question shit you’re

gonna feel lost and then you’re gonna get scared and then you’re gonna get

that even bigger feeling of like oh my god if I just didn’t wake up it would be

better like I fucking get it you’re not crazy I fucking get it okay and we’re

about to navigate this shit so step one is start observing yourself questioning

shit just start observing it and I’m talking shit that like two days before

the funk you were like feeling good about you were amped about you were like

yeah you felt confident about and now all of a sudden in this funk you’re now

questioning it do not take that fucking seriously okay because every time I get

into a funk I question my coaching abilities I question my podcast I

question my social media I question fucking everything I question if I’m

actually as aware as I think I am like bitch I question everything but it’s

funny because like before my funk I will be so confident about my coaching

abilities I’ll be so confident about the awareness that I’m sharing in my podcast

I’ll be so confident about everything and then being in this funk will make it

seem like all that confidence I had just got wiped the fuck out it’s not gone

it’s just the mood I’m in and I’m taking my thoughts of questioning things too

seriously I’m making it mean that they’re true and that’s my next point is

when you’re in a funk or you’re in a down mood you take a lot more things as

fact and like it’s certain and that’s the way that it is so if someone has

criticism of you whereas before it wouldn’t bother you you’re a little bit

more receptive to shit when you’re in a down mood so like people’s criticism

will hit harder you questioning yourself just by questioning things it

will make you think that something’s gone wrong basically you’re not gonna be

good at buffering yourself and kind of like checking yourself and being able to

filter out what is true and holds weight and what doesn’t so like your ability to

like critically think and weigh out the options it’s like everything that’s

hurtful is gonna hurt ten times worse because you don’t have that barrier

anymore it’s like your barrier to bullshit and your barrier to questioning

yourself and feeling down about things and your barrier to not seeing your

worth is up like that one’s up but your barrier to protecting yourself is down

right you just don’t see shit for what it is like you’re very clouded you’re

jaded and I just want to reassure you that’s normal for the way that you’re

feeling nothing’s gone wrong and it will change it’s not true it’s not here to

stick around that’s just something that comes with being in a funk is you’re

gonna start questioning and doubting shit so the first thing I want you to do

is give yourself reassurance that you’re not taking your thoughts seriously it’s

like when you’re hungover and you’re anxious as fuck you don’t take your

thoughts seriously from that day because you know you’re gonna be wacky like your

thoughts are not accurate they’re gonna be anxious and weird and you’re gonna be

all in your fucking head and that’s expected after you drink alcohol just

how you don’t take your thoughts serious when you’re hungover don’t take your

thoughts serious when you’re in a fucking funk like anything you’re

questioning set it the fuck free just set it free from your mind and

understand you’re gonna have shit come up you didn’t realize you were insecure

about or things that you were questioning but reassure yourself it

doesn’t mean it’s true so tell yourself after this funk has passed if these

feelings are still here then I will go into them I’m not gonna go into them and

question them and question everything that I’m doing and start changing

everything that I’m doing just because I’m in this funk that’s the main thing

is do not change what you’ve been doing because you’re in the funk if you have

goals you’re working toward work toward that if you’re working on your business

if you’re working on going to the gym if you’re working on eating healthy don’t

just start throwing shit away and making all these changes because you feel a

little different like I said the messenger is here to hang out now you

allow the visitor to come and hang out you don’t allow the visitor to come and

disrupt your entire fucking schedule of everything you’re working on so continue

working on the things you’ve been working on address things observe your

feelings but don’t take them too seriously during this time so the next

part of that is when you start questioning shit if you can’t set your

mind free from it and you keep questioning it just look at the fucking

facts look straight up at the fact so how I said when I start getting in a

little funk I’ll question my coaching abilities I’ll question my podcast and

how good it is if I’m actually smart or not I want you to start looking at

things that the the proof is obvious and so in front of your face you can’t

even question it so when you’re questioning things go look for the

answers that are unquestionable so when I go read reviews of my podcast and I

look at my DMS because you guys DM me all the time Instagram about how much

you love my podcast and I love that you DM me my Instagram is the Leo Skeppy if

you want to DM me I would love to hear what you have to say and if you have any

like ideas for future topics send them to me bitch like we’re in this together

I’m here to talk about what you guys need help with so tell me but I’ll go

read DMS I’ll go look at you guys as message I’ll hear your words I will hear

other people’s reaction to me and what I’m sharing and also I’ll look at my

coaching testimonials the ways that I’ve helped people I’ll go back and look at

things people have said to me and I’ll remember the ways that people end calls

with me and how most of my clients reschedule with me right after the call

they get off of like that only happens when I’m able to contribute value and to

truly help them it’s so obvious when I look at it that the thoughts that I had

questioning it or something that were in my head and when I look for the proof in

real life it ain’t fucking there so that’s what I want you to do is look for

the facts and look for the shit that is not able to be questioned like how am I

gonna go read the reviews of my podcast and be like I’m worried my podcast is

not that good and then I have all these reviews of people saying it changed

their life and it helped them more than their therapist has how am I supposed to

fight that you can’t so then I have to make my brain accept hey fucker you’re

doing good you’re fine you know I mean so when there are not any facts or

there’s no way for you to directly reassure yourself and look at okay the

way that I’m feeling is like a little just incorrect the way I’m feeling is a

little inaccurate when I start questioning my abilities like when

you’re feeling that this is what to do when there’s no facts to look at I want

you to formulate a plan so when you’ve tried to set something free from your

mind and it won’t go away and you’re just worried about this thing or you’re

just so self-conscious about this thing you’re worried about it happening you’re

worrying you’re worrying you’re not good enough whatever it is formulate a plan

for the exact scenario you’re so worried about and the one that you can’t stop

thinking about so what are you gonna do make an action step like action plan

of things you’re going to do after this funk is over if the way that you feel

does not leave having a list of action steps is gonna make you feel so

reassured and safe and comfortable and it’s gonna allow you to free yourself

from that worry and the shit that’s going on in your mind like it’s gonna

help it just kind of like put it at rest and it’s like the thoughts are only

coming up because you won’t address them so when you address what you’re thinking

and what you’re worrying about when you address it you make a little plan

for it the thought can fuck off like it will leave you alone because you’re

ready for it and even if it doesn’t leave you alone you can now reassure

yourself every time that thought continues to come up I’ve planned for it

so I’m not gonna spend time worrying about it okay so my next tip is about

before you fucking call someone or before you ask someone to come be there

for you and comfort you this is all the shit you need to do before that but also

everything I’m about to list is how you can actually be there for yourself

before you go to other people so if you don’t have anyone there for you you can

still do everything in this list and you should but the worst thing is when

somebody is like all emotional and fucked up and freaking out and they come

to you it’s like girl get your fucking self together get your thoughts together

before you come to me and just start unleashing all of your shit onto me and

I’m not talking about a serious situation like if someone in your family

dies I’m there for you you’re allowed to freak out you’re allowed to be

dramatic if there’s like a serious event that has happened and you need someone

there for you call me immediately that’s totally fine that’s not what I’m talking

about I’m talking about little bullshit fucking things that people freak the

fuck out over and they don’t check in with their self before they come to me

and they just start freaking out and it spirals and they don’t have their

thoughts together they’re just blurting out all this shit they’re feeling all

these things and they’re just like a fucking little tornado and they come

into my life and come into my world expecting me to help them figure it out

it’s like bitch check in with yourself first if it’s not something like

catastrophic and huge you’d like come to me immediately for that shit but when

it’s something like day to day and you’re just overwhelmed and you’re

dealing with things motherfucker I want you to sit down and check in with

yourself first so what I want people to do before you go running to other people

or before one of my friends if you’re listening to this before you come running

to me fucking sit down check in with yourself and I want you to make a list

of all of your concerns worries what’s bothering you and what is going on so

that you’re prepared to talk about it kind of treat it like you’re going to a

meeting like get fucking logical and put it all on paper so that you can come to

me and list off exactly what you’re feeling thinking worrying about going

through I want it fucking listed out so we can have this shit organized so we

can be as efficient as possible I know that’s a weird approach to take but

there’s a point behind it as you try to make a list and write out the things

you’re worried about the things you’re feeling the things you’re concerned

about what’s bothering you you’re gonna be able to see it all outside of your

head so when you write it all on a piece of paper or you type it up in a document

you’re gonna see everything that was going on inside your head that felt so

overwhelming and like it was so much to deal with you’re gonna see it laid out

on paper and it’s different when you’re thinking it versus when you can see it

in front of you so when you see it on that paper and you see all your thoughts

spilled out in front of you you’re gonna be able to be there for yourself a lot

like you’re gonna be able to sort out a lot of what you’re feeling and thinking

and worried about you’re gonna be able to look at this list of shit or this

giant page full of things that are just going on you’re gonna be able to

individually go through and look at everything and cross things out okay

well that makes sense now that I’m looking at it that is that makes sense

or that doesn’t make sense or yeah I’m not gonna worry about that where the

fuck did that come from that was just a random thought you’ll be able to cross

out a lot of shit you’ll be able to reassure yourself of a lot of shit that

is on your paper so getting everything that’s inside your head out in front of

you so you could look at it and observe it is your first step in dealing with it

because there’s gonna be a lot of things you can solve for yourself and a lot of

things you can get yourself through comfort yourself through and reason

yourself through and then what’s left on the list that you need guidance with or

you need help dealing with you want to see a new perspective you need insight

you just need a little advice you just want to share it with somebody then you

come to me you come to me with your list of the things that you cannot handle

because that’s where I can be of most use to you that’s where we’ll get tighter

that’s where you’ll feel like people can actually be there for you is after

you’ve gone through the list and handled all the shit that you can handle but by

writing it you’re gonna realize you can handle a lot more of it as my point and

then you’ll be able to go to people for what they can actually be of use with

because I know there’s so many situations where you go to somebody when

you’re upset and you feel like they were no fucking help it’s like you just don’t

fucking get it but you didn’t get it you didn’t go to talk to them prepared

so you’re gonna be able to poke holes in your own worries you’re gonna be able to

poke holes in your own stories and the shit that you’re telling yourself you’re

gonna be able to redirect your thoughts in your mind when you can see it on

paper like that just remember me saying poke holes in your own stories first and

then what’s left you go to talk to someone about that is where they can

truly help you but my whole point of saying even if you don’t have someone to

do this with or someone to go to just getting everything out of your head and

sorting through it yourself is how you’re gonna be able to be there for you

like there is gonna be times where you make this full fucking list of shit and

you get yourself through it and you figure it all out for yourself and you

don’t have to go to anyone about it and by doing it more and more you’ll be able

to be there for yourself through more and more things and handle more and more

things you’ll be able to see new perspectives on your own you’ll be able

to be there for yourself but sometimes there is like a comfort aspect that you

want so doing the list before you go try to get comforted by someone you’ll be

spending your time enjoying their company and being comforted by them

you’re not gonna be spending your time trying to sort out the way that you’re

feeling and all these emotional ups and downs does that make sense like you need

to make it easier for yourself to go be comforted and to be allowed to be

comforted because if you go at somebody venting and freaking out and screaming

about shit they’re gonna be like whoa like cool it bitch so get that sorted

out with yourself when you can like I said there are gonna be situations where

something is just way too overwhelming like if you find out your partner’s

cheating on you and you’re freaking the fuck out go be with someone there are

situations where you need to go be with someone immediately they need to be able

to walk you through it and comfort you as you’re going through it but for the

situations where you can handle it yourself and it’s not like super intense

and trying in the moment I want you to start trying to be there for yourself

first but one of the big things I want to make sure I point out in this is when

you’re feeling some type of way that’s part of you inside of you screaming for

your fucking help and screaming for your attention so whenever you’re feeling

down you’re feeling angry you’re feeling sad you’re feeling anything you’re

feeling there’s part of you that needs your attention so I want you to face it

I want you to look at it I want you to validate that part of you that’s fucking

screaming for your attention what’s bothering it it’s easy when you can look

at it separate as a separate person a separate part of you okay that helps me

a lot so I know it will probably help a lot of you look at it like a party

that’s screaming for your attention what does it need from you how can you give

it your attention how can you be there for it what does it need you to know how

can you take it into consideration the part of you that’s upset you know and

that will help you a lot with this whole process but remember when I said the

funk was kind of there as a visitor so sometimes these funks pop up to disrupt

your life like I said it’s a visitor it’s a messenger it’s got a message for

you so usually a funk will come in when you’ve been ignoring the way that you’ve

been feeling something’s gonna come up where it’s like not ignorable what’s the

word for that like you can’t ignore it that’s exactly it but if that’s what it

takes is this funk coming to visit you for you to be brought back toward

yourself and to become aware of something that you need to change or

become aware of everything that you’re feeling to the point where you have to

throw it on paper and look at it if that’s what it takes then that visitor

served its fucking purpose it’s forced you to lay out how you’re feeling and

observe the thoughts you’ve been thinking because you’re gonna discover

some things you’ve been thinking that have been holding you back or that you

shouldn’t be thinking or you’re gonna realize that certain thoughts have been

putting pressure on you that you didn’t fucking need and by getting you to a

point where you fully make a fucking list of everything going on and you

start strategizing and you start looking at changes you’re gonna make to your

perspective your thoughts your actions whatever it’s gonna be if that’s what

it took to get you to make changes to your life then that’s what it took and

the funk the visitor served its purpose every breakdown is setting you up for a

breakthrough and I want you to fucking realize that I don’t know if I’ve heard

that somewhere if I just came up with that I don’t fucking know it probably

was on some goddamn Pinterest quote that’s my reassurance you feel the way

that you do for a reason always and I hope this episode helped you and I

really hope you take it seriously because these are the things that I’ve

like completely transformed me and the way that I do shit and the way that I

handle things and it’s what’s made me a lot more resilient to things because

when I start feeling a negative way I don’t start freaking the fuck out oh my

god I have to get away from it it’s like no I look at it like part of me is

screaming for my attention now I’m gonna look at him what does he need cuz when

you start feeling a negative thing it’s like a part of you screaming for your

attention when people run the opposite way of that all that’s gonna happen is

your emotions are gonna have to start screaming louder to the point you can’t

fucking ignore them and it’s gonna body your ass okay don’t fucking run from how

you feel like sometimes it’s okay to go get drunk and just have a fucking night

out when you’re dealing with too much go do it it’s fucking normal like it you’re

human like it’s too much to take it on all the time but don’t run for too long

just understand that part of you is yelling for your attention part of you

needs you so go do what you need to do to get to a point where you’re not

overwhelmed and fucking drink have a good fucking night have a good weekend

whatever it is and then come back to yourself okay no one’s judging you for

going to party in a little bit no one’s judging you for smoking a little blank

nobody’s judging you from de-stressing a little bit like it’s not fun to go into

your emotions all the fucking time like take a little minute for yourself take a

break the party that’s tired of responsibility let them go fucking be

let off to and then come back to the party that’s screaming for your

attention like you need to take care of all parts of you so that’s all I got for

this episode I really hope you enjoyed I hope you took something from it if you

like this podcast I just have one request and it’s that you go leave me a

five-star rating thank you so much if you want to keep up with me all of my

social media will be linked in the description of this podcast also if you

are interested in one-on-one coaching with me I have now created an

application process so it’s no longer just free to schedule I’m doing

applications now to keep up with the demand because it just got too high so

now I’m screening people basically to see who’s a good fit and who’s not

because I want to work with action takers I want to work with people that

are serious about transforming their life because the shit that I say y’all

know that’s what it’s for and where I specialize is with the people that have

been looking for answers they can’t find and the people that have been trying

shit and it’s just not working I’m the person that those people can go to so if

you’re interested in that I will put the link to the application in the

description box also and I want to make it very clear that you’ve already got

what it takes to get through what you’re dealing with or to improve your life or

to reach your goals and I’ll help you see that and it’s gonna be a lot easier

when you got me in your corner because that’s exactly how I want it to feel I

wanted to feel like you have someone that has your back and like I’m in your

corner because that’s what it is like I’m there for you and I’m there to do

shit with you but anyways thank you so much for listening please stay safe and

take care of yourself and I will talk to you next Sunday