Aware & Aggravated - 33. Breaking Out of A Mindset

🎁Amazon Prime 💗The Drop 📖Kindle Unlimited 🎧Audible Plus 🎵Amazon Music Unlimited 🌿iHerb 💰Binance

Hi friends, so this week I want to talk to you about breaking out of certain mindsets

You know the ones that like got you trapped to shit and you don’t know how to get out of them

I’m gonna teach you how to do it. I’ve talked about

Certain mindset shifts I’ve made in previous episodes

But I’m gonna share with you the process I go through

When I’m trying to break out of a certain mindset and I’m gonna teach you also how to identify

You have a mindset or a belief or something that is holding you back

I’m gonna teach you how to figure out like yeah, that’s the problem

You know cuz sometimes you’re like am I the problem or am I not bitch you are

Like I’m just gonna be real honest like I’m gonna teach you how to spot when you are the problem

Okay, and I am gonna give you like straight-up examples from my life and the biggest one

I’ve had to break recently which was convincing myself that everybody at the gym fucking hates me, but we’re gonna get into it


Y’all know my brain does its own little thing and it thinks in its own way and it just be making shit up and I have

To catch it all the time, but let’s jump into this shit. Okay, so the first thing

I’m gonna tell you is stop acting like you fucking know everything

Okay, cuz when you convince yourself that you fucking know everything you’re gonna hurt your feelings like I do it all the time, babe

I get it. I’m right there with you. Like it’s not a fun road like this whole

Spirituality and like self-development like this is not a fun path to go down like it’s a constant like attack

Emotionally from yourself from your higher self from everyone around you it’s a fucking gangbang mentally

All right, like I get it

But the first thing is stop acting like you fucking know everything stop acting like you have the answers to everything

Because when you operate from that place when you assume something you don’t question it

You just think that you’re right and it becomes a subconscious thing

so let’s unpack all this shit and let’s break it down and I’m just gonna teach you like the process and

Then throw you the examples of like what I did. Okay, great. So let’s do that

So the first way to know that you have something about your mindset

You need to shift is notice when you start feeling negatively when you have like a weird

Like you’re drained. You’re tired. You’re unmotivated

You’re like pissy you’re sad like any type of negative kind of feeling

Start paying attention to when you’re feeling them

Okay, even if it’s like you’re tense like just any kind of negative feeling state that’s your message that’s your messenger

All right. I talked about this before in the being there for yourself episode about your emotions being messengers

But this is the signal that you need to fucking like shift something. So take note of the negative

All right, and then you’re gonna ask yourself. Okay in this moment right now

What am I telling myself?

Like what am I convincing myself of so my example of this was being at the gym

Y’all I hate the fucking gym. I really do like I hate it

Like it’s a hobby of mine to be into fitness and all but like fuck the gym, bro

Like I literally hate it

Like I have to do it cuz I want to look cute and I want to like live long not too long

Damn it

I want to be out by like 55 like put me the fuck out

But I have to like work out like I make myself do it cuz it’s like I know I know I should and I do

It cuz it’s like there’s a sick enjoyment that I get

Being at the gym like pushing my body cuz I go to failure on a lot of sets


like to push my body and like beat it the fuck up a little bit but the whole like getting ready to go to the

Gym and like getting in the car and then trying to find the fucking music at the gym and then being around all the fucking

People at the gym. I fucking hate it

Like I don’t want to think that I like glamorize the gym lifestyle like everyone else does that I don’t like it

I fucking don’t like it, but I have to go so I make myself go

but I was at the gym the other day and I just felt so tense and like

Like just not good and I was on the treadmill and I was like, alright fucker

we’re about to go into this right here on this treadmill and I dead-ass almost stopped walking and

Started crying when I fucking went into this don’t go into shit at the gym

alright, you don’t look like a fucking pussy crying on the treadmill, but

This was the perfect time to do it

So like when you get triggered when you feel that negative state is when you’re that’s like the everything is right there

Like you just have to ask the right question and the awareness will like pop out

It’s like popping a pimple that already has a head

It’s like when you have the pimple that has like it’s just under the skin and you can’t pop it

That’s what it’s like to try and revisit something. You’ve been triggered by but when

You’re when you visit it in the moment when you’re feeling it

It’s like the pimples right there

All you have to do is squeeze it and it’s gonna pop like why the fuck did I just use that example?

Why the fuck do y’all listen to me

so the awareness is right there ready for you if you

Have a moment like when you’re feeling the negative emotion to question it right then and there you can just like save it for later

Like put it in a little to-go box and fucking take it home be like I’ll revisit that later

You just have to like remember what you’re feeling in the moment so you can question it

So my ass starts questioning like what am I feeling right now?

Cuz I noticed like I just felt like heavy and I felt tense and I felt like a lot of pressure and I’m like, okay

what the fuck is causing me to feel like this and

I just like looking down like at my gym

the cardio section is on the second floor so you can see over into the gym and I was just looking around at people and

I just felt so like you like inside like while looking at people

I felt like I didn’t belong. I felt like no one liked me. I felt like people hated me

I was like in my head like

people are probably like making fun of me and like the shit that I post on tik-tok like all this shit was like going through

My head and I was feeling all these things and I was like, oh my god

I didn’t realize I was feeling all this

I just thought I didn’t like coming to the fucking gym and then I realized I felt watched like I felt ridiculed

I felt like a spectacle. Is that the right word?

Like people were just like watching me like I felt on display. I felt watched. I don’t like feeling like that at all

But I realized okay. It’s not just like this little tense feeling

I’m feeling inside after I checked in with myself

I noticed I was feeling all of this and I was like what the fuck like this is why I’m saying you always have to

Question how you feel look at it turn your attention toward it and just wonder about it

Get curious because that little tense feeling that little like

Tightness in my chest was all these things. I was feeling I just didn’t realize it

So then I had to ask myself

Okay, what am I telling myself about being in this gym that is making me feel the way that I’m feeling like what am I

Convincing myself of that is contributing to me feeling all these fucking things and then I started observing like my inner dialogue

of like the thoughts that I think while I’m there and I’m like

well telling myself that people are looking at me and

Ridiculing me is one thing telling myself that people don’t like me is another thing

I’m just assuming people don’t like me and we’re gonna get into that comes from my childhood in a minute

But I was like observing that I was telling myself people were like

making fun of me like in their head like they’re laughing at me because they found my tick-tock and like a lot of people know

It and like they’re watching me and looking at me like they’re ridiculing me

I was telling myself that like everybody looks at me like I don’t belong there and I just felt like the odd one out

But I was also telling myself like I don’t fit in. I don’t belong here. I don’t relate to these people

there was so much I was telling myself and so much going on in my inner dialogue that was contributing to

Me feeling all the shit. I was feeling and in the sense of belonging like you can’t feel like you are accepted

that’s the word that’s a good word to put it is that I didn’t feel accepted at the gym and

A big thing that came from that was like the ridicule thing

it was like telling myself that people were looking at me to criticize me not looking at me to

Possibly admire me or possibly just see me at the gym and it’s not like there is no thought behind it

It’s just like an observation of like, okay, there’s a human being, you know

So this is where it comes in quit acting like you fucking know everything because every single thing I was telling myself

I had to go through and revisit

With telling myself that I’m not accepted. I don’t fit in. Why do I not fucking fit in? I look the part

I’m working out. I’m not doing anything fucking weird

I very much fit in at the gym. Like I look normal

I look very much normal. Like I was convincing myself that I didn’t but I had to question. I’m like, okay

So go get in the mirror right now. Do I look like abnormal? Do I look like I don’t fucking belong here?

Am I wearing a fucking tutu and have a magic wand and I’m running around in the gym?

Like that’s someone that doesn’t fit in in the gym. Like I’m wearing fucking workout clothes. I’m working out. I’m in decent shape

I’m like, okay, so like where the fuck are you convincing yourself that you don’t fit in here?

Cuz from the looks of it you look like you fit in fucker

so like where’s that coming from, you know, and then I just had to go through each thing and

Kind of like nitpick myself like that. Like I had to quit acting like I know everything like telling myself. I don’t fit in


you’re gonna start questioning that voice inside your head and then the voice that was telling me people find my

TikToks and they don’t like me and they’re like ridiculing me

I had to think is this coming from anything? Has anyone said anything negative about my tiktoks?

No, has anyone ever been rude to me at the gym?

No, has anyone ever said there’s something bad about my tiktoks to me in real life?

No, cuz they know I’d mop the fucking floor with their ass like no one has ever said anything to me in person face-to-face

About my tiktoks people talk shit online, but I’m talking like no real interaction

I’ve had where someone has been rude to me and it’s in their best interest

But that’s the thing is like so where’s this fucking belief coming from that people are judging my shit?

And then I had to think like okay the shit that I post. I like it. It’s fine. It’s funny

Like I don’t it’s not embarrassing. I don’t let myself post embarrassing shit. So

That belief kind of was just like floating in fucking thin air like like for no reason like I was telling myself people were

ridiculing me for no fucking like

Point like nothing had happened to make me believe that

But I was still like telling myself that to begin with but that’s when I was saying we have to go through in that one

Further like me getting bullied as a kid

My relationship to being around people was you’re gonna be nitpicked

You’re gonna be ridiculed people are gonna talk about your appearance

You are gonna be the spectacle people are always gonna have something to fucking say and

People are not just gonna like you like I was not liked when I was younger like it

Just I was bullied as fuck so that is something

I’ve carried with myself until this day like the automatic assumption and throw my guard up like people don’t like you so get ready

My whole point was saying all this shit is like basically from my past

I was taught that

People don’t like you and you need to be ready like anytime you walk out of your bedroom

Your family might say some shit

And then when you go to school people are definitely gonna be saying shit

So my experience when I was younger like in school because school is your only like world

When you’re young like it was mine is like you go to school and you go home, and that’s it you shut up

That’s all you have to fucking do so my experience with the world was

Beyond the fucking defense people don’t like you people are not just gonna be nice to you to be nice to you

That’s not how you’re treated. That’s not how the world fucking works. That’s what I learned when I was younger

So that has stayed with me

Even when my world opened up, and I overlaid that like I took that belief and that like

Experience and I plastered it over my entire life

So when I was functioning in the real world and I was going places other than just school

Once I was like 15 16 I could drive

I had the same outlook toward the world that I did at school

So like people were not gonna be nice to me, and I was on guard all the time

And I still have that and I never questioned it so it just continued

This is what was contributing to me feeling like ridiculed and watched and like no one liked me at the gym

It’s because I was convincing myself of the things I was thinking

but also this old belief this old mindset that I hadn’t questioned before because I didn’t realize it was like

Coming up, you know so like that mindset kept me safe and got me through school

But now I’m noticing areas where this mindset is

Making things uncomfortable and now that I’m aware enough to start questioning that and wondering where that came from I’m seeing it

So that’s where I say your next step with all this shit is after you’ve noticed how you’re feeling

You’ve thought of what are you convincing yourself of what are you telling yourself about the situation the things you’re telling yourself?

You got to ask are these things logical like has something happened to cause me to think this way or am I assuming?

People don’t like me because of a past experience and a mindset that I’ve been carrying for years

I haven’t been aware of because that’s exactly what was going on with me

So that’s the way I break out of these fucking mindsets. And then my next step further is like look for proof

How is what I’m assuming true or not true like at the gym? Okay, if I’m convincing myself

Everybody here looks at me because they don’t fucking like me

How is that true and then I thought about all the people that are giving me a bad look and I’m like, okay

But has anybody said anything?

Has anybody done anything that was directly like unquestionable?

They don’t like me and the answer was no not a fucking thing. So

Then I looked for okay. So how is it not true? How is telling myself that people here don’t like me?

How is that not true?

And then I start seeing how all the people at the front desk are always so nice to me and people smile at me and

I’ve been recognized by followers and I’m actually very welcomed and people are open and people are sweet and

People try to work in with me and people try to start conversation. Like I looked for all the proof that

Discredited what I’ve been telling myself this whole time and I immediately felt relieved because I realized this was not true and

as soon as I realized that everything like all the pressure fell off like all everything fell off of me and

I felt a lot more relaxed and comfortable and accepted and like

That sigh of fucking air like just that is what I felt because all the tension all the pressure is off. I

Felt a lot more comfortable immediately like as soon as I started questioning all this stuff

I just felt relieved and that’s what made me almost start crying on the fucking treadmill. I didn’t cry

I stopped walking so I can get it together, but I didn’t fucking cry

So that’s where I say I look at how is it true and then how is it not true and then

Given like the proof that I’ve found by asking that question

I get to decide do I want to continue to tell myself that people don’t like me or is it?

Okay for me to think the opposite

You know

because it makes a lot more sense with all the things that I listed that people do like me and a lot more people are

Nicer to me than mean to me

so it’s makes more logical sense to believe that I am welcomed at the gym and that people do like me and that

People aren’t looking at me to ridicule me

So the other thing I felt was very disconnected like I felt very isolated at the gym like yeah

there’s a lot of people around but emotionally I felt very alone and

Then I had to call myself out on some shit, you know

So the trick that I use to feel more connected to people is looking for how we’re similar and looking for what we have in

Common because you can’t be looking for how you’re the same as someone and feel disconnected from him at the same time doesn’t work

So I started looking around at the people on the bottom of the gym and being like, okay, how are we the same?


then I just let my brain kind of like go wild with all the little ways that I could relate to every person I was

Looking at and I immediately felt more connected to them

Like I felt that wall come down that I had up because I was like they don’t fucking like me

Like I got that down

I reasoned through that and then I started looking for how I was the same as people and like well other people have needs too

And other people are anxious too and they want to feel included too. They want people to be nice to them, too

But then I started thinking okay

What are more ways I can feel more connected and welcomed at the gym?

And then I started thinking well, you could ask people if they need a spot

You could ask people for a spot because I’m the motherfucker that will let the weight crush me for ask for a spot

Like I want to go heavier, but I don’t want to take that risk, you know

But um, that’s something I can do to help get that feeling state down of like I don’t belong here is

start asking people for help help other people like

Interact with other people and see their response to me and see the interactions like I talk to people here and there

I’ll interact here and there but I

need to make more of a practice of it and I have been since I’ve realized all this like I’ve been making a bigger practice of

just doing little things to help me feel more like included and

Accepted and like people like me looking for proof of that

Has made the experience of going to the gym a lot better. Like I’m a lot more excited to go

I’m a lot happier about going I still fucking hate it, but I feel a lot better emotionally

I don’t feel that like tension or the pressure and I don’t feel like the oh my god

I fucking hate this like and I don’t feel like the whole I have to look like I could rip your fucking face off at

Any moment so people don’t fuck with me, you know

Like I’m very unapproachable at the gym because I’m trying to catch my breath and I’m trying to like not die

You know and I do push myself to failure

so if you ever see me at the gym say hi like I’m super friendly like if you come up to me like hey

Leo and you just like let me know you know me from online or you listen to my podcast or whatever the fuck it

Is like my wall is immediately gonna come down because your friend not foe

So like don’t ever be scared to talk to me. Like I’m gonna look fucking scary if I’m by myself somewhere

I’m gonna look fucking mean I’m gonna look scary, but I promise I’m not gonna be mean to you

So I do have one more trick

I’m gonna share with you about breaking out of a mindset

but the biggest part of the one I just told you is becoming aware of the

Mindset that is causing you to feel the way that you do and then questioning does it make sense?

To have this mindset and then you get to decide do I want to continue forward with this mindset?

Or do I want to pick a different one and that’s where your whole life’s gonna fucking change

So that’s just the whole basis of what I’ve just explained

but my last part about flipping a mindset is

Educate your goddamn self like learn something and educate yourself more about

Something you think you already know

Because it’s gonna be impossible for

Certain mindsets to exist

Once you gain more knowledge

But you’re just gonna know more and you’re gonna realize the shit I was thinking before was fucking dumb and I’m gonna give you an

Example or two maybe about this. So the first one, oh my god

I’m still fucking mad about it to this day

So when I was like 14, I think I was like kind of pudgy and I started a diet

Like I was just eating clean and trying to like do my thing for the first time at 14

like I had tried other shit at like 12, but y’all I’ve had like

Weight issues and spin self-conscious about that shit since I can remember being a chubby kid was not fun

But from starting at that young of an age, I have so many fucking tricks up my sleeve

I’m gonna do a full episode about all my diet hacks and all my tips and tricks and all my shit that I’ve learned

but anyway

my point of a story is I had just started like this diet and I was like a week into it and I was

Like barely fucking eating. I was eating like super super clean and my dad and my sister were like seeing me do this and

One day I was sitting down and I stood up and I started walking into like the living room

wherever the fuck I was going and I got really really lightheaded and I got dizzy and I started seeing like black spots and I

Was like what the fuck and then I noticed it kept happening like over a couple of days

I was like, oh my god

something must be wrong like I was laying on my bed another time and I went to go walk down the hall and I just

Like jumped up out of bed and took off walking down the hall and I got really really dizzy and I had to like hold

Myself up on the wall for a second. I was like, what the fuck and that’s when I asked my dad and my sister

I was like, hey, like I think something’s wrong with me

Like every time I get up I get like really dizzy and I’ll see spots

I’m like, I can’t see for a second and they were like, oh you need to eat sugar

Like you need to like have a Snickers bar whenever you’re feeling like that because it means your sugar is low

So me not knowing any better. I was just like, okay, like I’ll just eat fucking sugar

I guess that’s the problem like so I ate a Snickers bar anytime. I would feel dizzy after standing up and

Sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn’t so I would just eat another Snickers bar

And I was just like eating fucking sugar anytime. I felt like that, but I was convinced that

that is what needed to happen like when that means my sugar is low and

Fast forward one of the things I learned going through nursing school was about

orthostatic hypotension

Which is basically low blood pressure whenever you stand up because whenever you’re laying down

All your blood is like dispersed like all throughout your body

And then when you change elevations like you stand up really quick all your blood like by gravity

Sinks to the lower part of your body. So that means there’s less circulating in your brain

So all of a sudden all the blood drops to the lower part of your body for a few seconds until your body can pump

The blood back up because of gravity. That’s what makes you feel dizzy. Sometimes

That’s what makes you feel like a little lightheaded seeing black stars and shit when I learned about that

I was so fucking mad cuz I was like my stupid fucking ass really believed for so long

It was because I had low sugar like shut the fuck up. Oh my god

I’m still mad about it cuz like what the fuck like I know I was young and I just like believed who told me something

But I was still operating with that mindset and like I just fucking like believed it and then I learned

the truth about why your body

Experiences the things that it does like why when you stand up all of a sudden or you stand up too quick

You all of a sudden feel the way that you do. It’s called orthostatic hypotension

There’s an explanation for it. Like it’s not that your sugar is low. That doesn’t have shit to fucking do with it

It doesn’t mean you need to eat a fucking Snickers Leo like oh my god

But that’s an example of gaining knowledge and it will immediately kill out your last mindset

Okay, so my last example I want to give you is about money

And this is the reframe and the mindset shift that like fucked my shit up in the best way possible

so I was always operating from a belief like since I can remember about money that

it’s hard to make and like if you want to make money you have to like work your fucking ass off and

You have to like basically work a job

You don’t like and like you have to kind of like suffer for money

It’s like how much you’re willing to suffer is how much money you’re willing to make and then I started realizing like no

that’s not really true because there’s some people who


Have a fuck ton of money passively like in stocks and shit and like they don’t have to work and they don’t have to do

Nothing, but I’m like I could tell it it didn’t make sense

but like I just kept riding on with that fucking belief but that was always weird for me because I also saw people who had

Stocks and had big businesses who like barely fucking worked and made a shit ton of money, you know

So my belief of like hard work equals money was like there for a while

I just really didn’t look into it that much

But the thing that blew my fucking mind and completely flipped my mindset around money

Money is just an equal exchange in value. So in order for you to get money you need to give someone

Something that they value to exchange for it so you can offer a service you can offer a product

There’s like different shit you can offer to someone but it’s just an exchange in value

So if you can contribute value to somebody you can receive money for it like it’s just monetizing

It’s just an equal exchange and I was like, what the fuck like your ability to make money

It’s not like you’re just cursed like I thought I was for so long

I thought I was just fucking cursed and like I wasn’t able to make money doing something

I didn’t fucking hate which was like working as a nurse

but I heard that and

everything fucking shifted because my outlook was no longer about like working hard to make money or like you have to have some secret trick

Or like something’s just working against me. Like it wasn’t any of that

It’s just offer fucking value to people who value it and they’ll pay you for it

Like it’s really that simple like meet a need for someone

provide them value and it’s an equal exchange it can’t not be like just offer someone something so fucking valuable and

They’ll pay for it

Like it’s that fucking simple because what I do now blows my fucking mind

Like I do coaching calls with people and I just a heads up

I have cut off applications right now because I’m at capacity and I can’t take on anyone new

But if you want to submit your email for when I start taking clients again

You can click the link in this description and it’ll take you to that application because I closed the other one because I have too

Many people right now. I’m like fucking capacity. But anyway about what I do

There are people who have told me my coaching is fucking cheap. It’s a hundred and fifty dollars per 50 minute session

I started at $90 a session and I’ve had to like increase the price to keep up with demand and I thought

$90 was a fucking lot at the beginning because I didn’t think people would value like what I’m saying

Like I have this weird like people have not valued me my whole life. So it’s like I don’t know

I just thought it would be the same thing

Like I’ve always been able to see my value but people haven’t so when I started my coaching I was like, okay

I still think 90 is high because people just don’t seem to fucking see and appreciate what the fuck I have to offer

But I’m just gonna do it and then I started booking up very quickly

But I’m at hundred and fifty dollars and like people are still telling me I’m cheap

People are telling me I need to be five hundred to a thousand dollars an hour and I was like

What the fuck are you saying to me?

Like I was sitting over here thinking that

People were not gonna really see my value and be able to appreciate how I could change their life

because the shit that I say and the ways that I work through things with people like it is life-changing and

After giving that to so many people like seeing their response to it

They’re like no you need to like double triple quadruple your fucking prices. Like that’s how valuable you are to me

That’s how what you’ve given me. That’s how much has changed my life and I’m like, holy shit

But that is me offering value like me having a conversation with people and getting them through their problems

Working through it with them and offering them the insight and perspectives. They don’t have and that they can’t access

That is so valuable to the right people other people would never pay a fucking dollar to talk to me

Other people have told me they would pay a thousand dollars to talk to me

So it’s just literally about exchanging value and what I provide people

they’re willing to pay so much more than I thought so break that fucking mindset if you have the same thing of

Making money is hard and you have to suffer for it

Like no, you just have to provide value to the amount that you want like in money

And you have to find the people that are willing to pay for that. So here’s just an example say you work at fucking Target

You’re providing value to your manager to your boss to the owner of Target like you giving your time

Dealing with customers checking them out and like working and doing what you’re doing

That is you offering value and you’re offering a lot more value than they’re fucking paying you the fucking

$10-$15 an hour or whatever it is, but you’re offering value

It’s just a matter of what other value could I offer or how can I offer this same value to someone else who values it?

More because they’ll be willing to exchange more money for it

You know, like just that mindset shift like will completely change everything for you. So that’s the last one. I wanted to make

I’m gonna leave this episode off there. I hope this was helpful

If you want to follow me on Instagram, I will put it in the description below

My tick-tock will be there to the application for when I take on new clients will also be there everything you need to know

And if you want to keep up with me, it’s in the description

But thank you so much for listening

If you have any suggestions for topics you want me to talk about send me a DM on Instagram

So I will talk to you next Sunday and please stay safe until then the world’s fucking crazy right now