Aware & Aggravated - 44. Knowing When To Leave

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Hi friends, so shit looks a little different and it’s gonna get fixed in a second, but I recorded this episode yesterday

I’m hungover right now

But I recorded this episode yesterday and the whole fucking like beginning part of it cut out

So now I have to refilm it and usually I would just shut the fuck up refilm and add it in

But I’m gonna start letting y’all know when I’m struggling and shit’s going wrong

I’m struggling right now because I’m hungover but to I’m struggling because this fucking equipment. I don’t know how to use it

I don’t know how to work it

This week’s episode is gonna be about knowing when to leave someone because that’s the fucking hardest shit to come to

So I’m gonna share everything I’ve learned and everything

I know that will bring you clarity around your decision because if you’re sitting there questioning

Should I leave this person or should I not you already know your answer?

But what you need is reassurance and certainty that this is the right decision to make so that’s what this episode is for

I’m gonna teach you everything I fucking learned and everything you need to ask yourself and everything you need to kind of see

Like all the new perspectives and shit. I’m gonna give you I’ve got you

This is gonna get deep too. So buckle your little seatbelt

but after you listen to this podcast, you’re gonna have the confidence that you need and just knowing and

Finally seeing that, you know

You need to leave someone is totally different from actually doing it like knowing you need to do something and then actually doing it

Two different conversations bitch, but this is to bring you clarity about

Knowing when you need to leave and this could be applied to friendships, too

But this is mainly gonna be geared toward relationships. And then at the end, I’ve got some things and

WWLD what would Leo do? That’s where I have you guys right in and ask for advice

You told me your situation

I give you what I would do my hot take on it and I give you two

Examples of things to do in relationships and then I teach you how to manipulate your parents

Or like shitty parents like when your life is hard like this girl stuck living with her parents and they’re on her fucking ass

So I gave you guys at the end of this episode a way to manipulate your parents

But stay tuned to the end for that, but one more little tidbit from hungover Leo

Okay, one more tidbit for me before we jump into this whole episode is


You need more than just caring about someone like just loving someone and caring for someone isn’t enough and

That’s a harsh reality for people to accept. But sometimes you have to love logically. You can’t always just

Go with your heart like you have to it’s like 50-50 like half go with your heart half love logically like you have to be

smart and

Your heart will lead you

down a fucking painful path if you let it so that’s where I’m gonna tie these two things in is following your heart and

following logic because you have to love logically too and a big thing with that is

Learning to take yourself into consideration

because if you’re with someone who kind of like discards the way that you feel or you’re in a relationship where you’re not looked after

Or like taking care of emotionally and like cared for

Who the fuck’s left to take care of you if you don’t do it, you know

So I will never teach you against yourself

So with that being said, we’re gonna start jumping into this shit

So you’re gonna notice the screens gonna change the lighting is gonna get better because it’s nighttime right now

Okay, leave me alone. But like I’ve recorded it in the day. So here we go. Enjoy the episode

So the first thing I want to say is if you’re contemplating leaving someone it’s totally normal to be scared shitless, babe

Like it’s totally expected for you to be scared to be alone. Like if you’ve learned to live with someone

Of course, you’re scared to live without them

You don’t know what that’s like like you’re so used to having this person in your life or dating this person

No shit, you’re scared to leave we all got that fair being alone

But when you’re dating someone it’s like times ten and like I said in my breakups episode

When you leave someone or you break up with someone you’re not just losing the person

You’re losing your entire life as you knew it. So of course you’re scared

Of course, you’re hesitating to make this decision to leave or not

And when I say lifestyle, sometimes people are in relationships. I was in one personally where

Someone was way more well-off than I was financially. So it wasn’t just choosing to leave the person

It was choosing to leave the lifestyle. I’d always wanted to but with that I just want to say if

Someone having money is not enough for you to want to stay with them. That’s totally fine

That’s the exact boat that I was in money’s fun. It’s cute

I’ll make a whole episode about all this shit

But money is not fulfilling and if that’s the only reason you’re staying in a relationship is financial security

I get it

But if you’re someone that requires more from a person I get you wanting to leave and

Your decision should be to leave like if someone only can contribute money and they are gonna neglect you

Emotionally and neglect everything else like they can give you certain things with because of their money if you’re not fulfilled

You’re not fulfilled and you’re not wrong or bad for it

So I want to reassure you of that first, but straight out the gate you’re going to outgrow people

That’s just the way things are you’re going to outgrow people

you’re gonna outgrow everyone and a big thing people don’t understand about relationships is people are constantly changing like as a human being you’re always

I don’t want to say aging but time is going on and if you think you are the same person

That you were when you first met someone and then a couple years go down. You’re still in a relationship

You’re both totally different fucking people. So you have to have periods where you like reassess

Everything going on and like what you want out of a relationship and especially if you’re on a self-development journey

Like if you’re all about the awareness, like I am I’m a whole different motherfucker every three months

Like I feel like an entirely different person. I have new thoughts. I have new perspectives and outlooks on life. I have new desires

I have new goals and

That’s why I’m in a position right now where I want to be single is because I’m changing so rapidly

I’ve been like this my whole life, but I change so rapidly. It’s hard for people to keep up

it’s hard for people to grow with me at the level that I grow in the level that I change because I’m not the

Type to hold myself back from my own growth and my own expansion and if you’re with someone who is resisting growing with you

They’re attached to the person you were when they met you

They’re not here for the person that wants to grow and get better and develop and change

Like if someone is locked in with who you were, that’s who they’re gonna expect you to be

So if you start growing and improving your life and improving yourself and everything about you like the self-development shit the journey

I’ll come out because it’s a goddamn journey

They’re not gonna be able to handle it and they’re gonna hold you back from it

so you might get to a place where it’s like a standstill of like

Me or them my growth or this relationship and also with people you don’t truly meet them until you spend time with them

like as time goes on is when you truly meet someone because like when you first meet and you have a

Relationship and it’s all fun and it’s good and everybody’s on their best behavior

You need to see someone struggle first before you think that you know them

You need to spend a lot of time around someone and be with someone for a while

Before you can even say I know you if you have not seen them act in emotional states

You don’t fucking know somebody because as soon as you see somebody how they behave when they don’t get something that they want

You might realize that’s not someone I want to be with same thing with struggle

Like when you watch someone struggle, you don’t know them until you see that

You don’t know who they truly are and how they truly behave and how they handle things and with saying people are on their best

Behavior in the beginning. Yeah, I said it and that’s the fucking truth. But the main question with all of this

I want you to ask this little tidbit. I was talking about is ask yourself

Do their words that they were telling me in the beginning?

Match up with their actions now because when it’s the honeymoon phase and everything’s great and peaches and cream and it’s beautiful and fun and

They’re like the most perfect person you’ve ever met are all their words that they were like selling you on in the beginning

Matching up with their actions like a lot of people like to talk about all I want to build an empire with you

I want to do this

I want to do that with you and they sell you on this shit and then they get you you need to evaluate

Are they acting on what they said are their words matching their actions? Are they keeping up on promises?

are they keeping up on ideas and suggestions and shit that they were talking about in the beginning or

Have things changed or can you see now?

it was just their fucking mouth running, you know, and when I say when people feel like they get you a lot of a

Relationship is like people pursuing each other. You’re excited. It’s fun. It’s like, oh my god

you’re like going at each other and it’s so fucking great and then they feel like they get you and

If you’re with someone that feels like they got you and they got the security and stability

A lot of people will start slacking the fuck off with the actions that it took to get you

So like the way that they treated you before they felt stable with you will be different once they feel stable

So like I said, everybody’s on their best behavior. They’re doing all this shit, right?

but then as soon as they feel

Stable I can no longer have to get you like once they feel like they get you and they have the stability with you

And they’re secure in their relationship with you

a lot of people slack the fuck off and

That’s totally grounds to break up with someone because they’re painting an image of who they are and how they’re gonna treat you

And then you get into a relationship with them and time goes on and this person dies

This is who they truly are in a relationship

They were doing all this fluffy shit and treating you nice because that’s what they felt like they had to do to get you

But now that they got you

You have to evaluate them like two different people

The person that I was talking to that in the beginning are they still the same person?

Are they still treating me the same way?

Do they still make me feel cared about and valued and cared for and considered do they make me feel good about myself?

you need to evaluate is that person still who you’re in a relationship with or have they flipped have they switched because if they have

Switched that’s grounds to break up and I’m gonna give you that reassurance

That’s a bait and switch like they behave a certain way to bait you and then once they get you they switch up and they

Expect you to stay fuck that fuck that

There needs to be a lot of communication that needs to happen

You need to talk about the things that you’re experiencing and talk about what you’re unhappy with

But if you’ve noticed a drastic switch in a person between when they were trying to get you and now that they have you

You’re allowed to leave them for that a hundred fucking percent. I don’t give a fuck if they think it’s unfair

It’s unfair to you to expect yourself to stay with someone that did that shit to you. That ain’t cool

You need to talk about it and bring it up to them and be like what happened to that person?

Where’s all that? I miss them. You know, you need to talk about it first, but if you’re at a point where you’ve talked about it and

Nothing’s changed. That’s your first sign. You need to fucking go out to do

My next point kind of ties along with that. So in the beginning of like talking to someone like a beginning a relationship

Like you feel valued you feel good. You feel appreciated you feel all these good things

Do you still feel that way as time goes on in the relationship? Do you still feel valued? Do you still feel appreciated?

Do you still feel like this person truly likes you and I don’t want to go too much deeper into that

But you know what? I’m about to say. That’s another sign that you’re

needing to go is

If you no longer feel valued or appreciated and I’ve lived my life where if I don’t feel valued wherever I’m at

I do not make myself stay there

I will get the fuck out and it started when I was 12 years old and I moved out for the first time I ran

Away from home because I didn’t feel valued so I fucking bounced and I made a commitment to myself

I will never stay somewhere. I don’t feel valued or appreciated and

I’ve had to leave a lot of

Situations. I’ve had to leave a lot of people. I’ve had to leave a lifestyle

I’ve always dreamed of because I did not feel valued and appreciated

But I’ve kept that promise to myself no matter how much pain it comes with because I might lose everybody else

But at the time that you choose to leave somewhere you don’t feel valued you choose yourself in that moment

You come back to yourself

It’s like the best thing you can do for yourself in your relationship with you is to never leave you and to never

Discard yourself and allow yourself to stay somewhere. You don’t feel valued. It’s like fuck that shit

so my next point with knowing when to leave do you have to discard part of yourself or

Discard yourself and the way that you feel in order to stay with this person

Like do you have to ignore certain things for the relationship to work?

And this can be like past hurt that has happened. This could be disrespect that has happened that

The person will not talk about it. The person can’t own up to their shit

It’s like do you have to put aside the fact that you’ve been disrespected and do you have to put aside the fact that you’ve been?

Hurt before in order for things to work

Like if there’s no grounds to talk about it the relationships done

You should never have to discard yourself or anything that you feel in

Order to for the relationship to keep going like if you bring a certain thing up that hurt you

They’ll like freak out or they make it like your fault. They don’t want to talk about it

And it’s like a big fucking deal. That’s not gonna go nowhere good and

Especially with feeling stupid if you’re in a relationship with someone that has done something that makes you feel stupid

And they can’t talk about it or like bring it up

It’s always a fight or whatever it is if you have to put to the side the fact that you feel stupid

Especially disrespected but like if you feel stupid and you have to put that to the side in order to stay with this person

You’re throwing yourself to the side and choosing this other person over yourself, and I’m sorry to put it that way to you

But that’s what the fuck it is because you’re having to tell yourself. Shut up. I don’t care that you were disrespected

I don’t care that you feel stupid and I don’t care that you’ve been hurt. I’m staying with this person

You’re turning against yourself to stay with them

So that’s where I say

Do you have to discard yourself or throw something about yourself to the side for the relationship to continue?

that’s a really fat fucking sign that you need to leave and

Another really big thing about that is boundaries

If you don’t feel like you can set boundaries or you have to let go of certain boundaries in order for a relationship to work

Same thing applies get the fuck out

All right

Cuz that’s the same thing is like throwing yourself away. You’re having to throw parts of yourself away to be close to this person

You’re never gonna feel truly attached to them

You’re never gonna truly feel loved unless you bring all of yourself forward

You have to bring the part of you that feels stupid forward

You have to let this person see this part and take care of this part and care about that part, too

You can’t bring a part of you that has like been hurt before

To someone you’re in a relationship with and allow them to tell that part to shut the fuck up. It’s invalid. It’s stupid

You’re reading the situation wrong. It doesn’t matter get over it that

Causes me to go into fight-or-flight. I’m sorry. You feel that way just get over it

I want to knock a fucking hole in your goddamn forehead when people say that shit to me, but if

You try to bring that to somebody else and they dismiss that part of you in order to stay with them

You have to do the same thing. You have to throw that part of you away, too

And I will never teach you against yourself. All right, so leave their fucking ass

All right

The next way you can know if you need to leave is if you’ve communicated something to your partner that you want or don’t like and

They haven’t changed it

They put you in a position to choose you or them and that’s what that keeps coming back to is like if they ever put

You at odds with yourself do not ever choose somebody else over yourself

Trust no one bitch. It’s on my hand and I’m gonna remind you every fucking episode I make

Do not ever choose anyone over yourself unless it’s your child

Then I’m down for choosing your child over yourself

Like you once you bring a kid into this world your life as you know, it is done

You no longer live for yourself. You live for that fucking child. That’s my opinion. I know it’s not spiritual

I know it’s not what everybody else says. I’m old-fashioned. I don’t play that shit

You’re fucking kid is your number one you come second

But if you’re with someone and you’ve told them and communicated with them something that makes you uncomfortable

Makes you unhappy something that you don’t like or something that you want more of like I want to feel more valued

I want to feel more appreciated do not ever fucking ask someone to do more for you to make you feel more valued

You better fucking leave. All right

Let me just not be so aggressive. All right, but my little heart gets hurt

I can deal with a lot but to think about you guys dealing with this shit, too

Like I want to grab you by your fucking little face and like save you from this situation

Like that’s why I get so amped up. It’s like I’m not being tough

I’m not attacking you guys, but my fucking heart goes out to you because I get it and

to think about you guys dealing with this shit, like I literally get the chills like to think about you guys going through these situations and

Staying somewhere. You don’t feel valued. Like I it literally like fucking breaks me

Like I want to save all of you, but I can’t like you all have free will you have to do it for yourself?

But I’m gonna give you everything that I know

That will help save you

But yes

If you’ve communicated to somebody that you don’t like something or you do want something and they don’t make an effort to change it

What they’ve just done is removed themselves

From the decision you’re gonna make of staying with them or not because you’re basically by communicating. I do want this

I don’t want this you’re bringing them in on

You making a decision about the relationship, but if they’ve shown you through their actions

They’re not gonna change fucking shit

And they don’t care about doing things that make you feel more comfortable or make you happy if they’ve shown you they’re not gonna change it

You remove them from what you’re gonna decide to do about the relationship

You no longer are gonna go to them and talk about your unmet needs and what you like and what you don’t like

You did that you gave them the chance to make the relationship work now

You do what the fuck is best for you

You pick them up and you drop them out of this decision. You’re gonna make alright

So now all you take into consideration is your goddamn self because that’s all they’re fucking doing you give people the same courtesy and the same

Consideration that they give you and if they’re not doing anything to help you or change anything or like help you stay with them

Discard them just like they did you trust me. You’re gonna be the one that got away

They’re gonna freak the fuck out as soon as you leave them

they’re gonna start doing all the things you were asking for because people are not fucking stupid if

You’ve been asking for something over and over and someone is not changing it. They know what they’re doing

They’re choosing not to change it

and as soon as you leave their fucking ass is when all of a sudden everything that they

Haven’t been doing they’ll start doing it, but that’s just validation right there

They’ve known what the fuck to do to keep you this entire time

But you do not go back because that is just change behavior to bait you back. They’re not fucking changed. They’re not different

So if you’re communicating with somebody and trying to get them to change certain things and they just won’t they’re telling you

Oh, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it and then they don’t they’re discarding you. All right, that’s just straight-up

What the fuck it is

I’m sorry to say it but that’s a sign you need to leave is if you’ve said something over and over and over again and

There’s no fucking change. You’re justified to leave and that’s a big sign. You should all right next

Do they expect you to be okay with things that they would not be?

Okay with and do they expect you to put effort into

Like fixing the relationship that they wouldn’t put in it’s like cheating like I’m gonna just go ahead and knock cheating out

Someone cheats on you. It’s over. It’s done

You can never repair the trust that is broken when someone cheats

You can try your best to create repair in a relationship, but you can never fully repair it

It’s like if I take this glass and I fucking throw it at the wall and shatter it

What it is is never what it’s gonna be after I fucking break it

I can glue all the pieces back together in the exact spots. It’s never gonna be the fucking same. It’s always gonna leak

It’s never gonna go back to how it was

Relationships are like that when it comes to cheating as soon as you step out. It’s done. So I don’t want you to carry that guilt

Someone cheating on you and you not wanting to stay with them

You’re fully allowed to leave

Because what you subject yourself to when someone cheats on you is putting yourself at war with yourself and that person

like you’re the one that’s gonna take on the burden of

Not being able to trust them and overthinking and second-guessing and every time they text you. Oh, I’m going to the store

Are you really going to the store? You’re gonna be freaking the fuck out

You’ll be checking the cameras on your phone

You’re gonna fucking show up at the store cuz I fucking would I have like I’ve followed people like once you break that trust

It’s done learn from my mistake. Don’t fucking put up with that shit

it sucks, but if you decide that you no longer want to take on the burden of

Trying to be with someone after they’ve cheated that’s fully fucking justified and they can eat a fat fucking dick unless you cheat back

Okay, if someone is coming at you that’s cheated on you saying you’re selfish

You’re not like we don’t love them enough all this and that go fucking cheat on them and then make them deal with the repercussions

of their fucking actions

Then they’ll get to see what you’re dealing with

then they’ll take on the burden to of what it’s like to try and fucking make the

Relationship work and for you to go cheat back is not a fucking problem because their relationships already done once they cheat

So you cheating is just to put them in your fucking shoes and show them. It’s truly fucking done

Okay, cuz someone can’t fucking cheat on you and say I love you

That’s not fucking love and someone who loves you will never fucking cheat on you

But I’m gonna just go ahead and knock that out. Like I’m very passionate about this entire episode

Like I said, I’m not trying to be rough with y’all

But you got to fucking hear it and this is the shit that I needed to fucking hear

But my big point about this is do they expect you to be okay with things that they would not be okay with like just flip

The rolls you got cheated on or they were just DMing someone on Instagram. They didn’t actually go fuck nobody

They were just DMing someone on Instagram and you caught it and you freaked the fuck out and you were like mad about it

And they act like you should just be cool with it and forgive them and get over it

Would they act the same if they were in your shoes if you were the one talking to somebody else would they just get over?

It would they just not feel jealous would they just not overthink would they just not want to go through your motherfucking phone when you’re sleeping?

Cuz I sure as shit would I go through everybody’s phone?

And if you take one thing away from me go through everybody’s motherfucking phone

I go through my friends phones too because I got to see if you talking shit

like I just like to know like

Every we can have a whole fucking podcast episode about going through people’s phones and I’m a break that shit down for you

And if you don’t agree with going through people’s phones, you’re fucking ignorant

All right, you’re immature people think it’s immature to go through someone’s phone. No, that’s a tool

We’ll get into it another episode

But if you’re mad that I just called you fucking ignorant go through your partner’s goddamn phone and face

Reality people that don’t go through people’s fucking phones are too chicken shit and too scared of what they’re gonna find

Oh, I don’t I trust them. You’re a fucking dumbass trust. No one trust is earned. Trust is not just given

It’s like respect if you want to be respected be respectable do something to be worthy of respect. Don’t freely trust

Anyone do not just unconditionally just give trust to someone because they haven’t hurt you before

That’s like thinking a stove is not gonna burn you because it hasn’t burned you before no bitch. It’s still hot

All right next next question to ask yourself

Are you only staying with this person because the amount of time you’ve already invested?

I don’t know

That’s a hard pill to swallow and a lot of people get trapped in that or like oh my god

I’ve already wasted so much time in this relationship if I could just make it work. I wouldn’t have to fucking leave


But I want to take you out of that perspective for a second and quit looking at time as wasted and like oh I spent

20 years with somebody I

get it, but

It’s not time wasted because like if you’re faced with a decision we’re like that is the relationship you’re in you fucking hate it if

You choose to stay in it

You’re choosing to throw away the remainder of your life

I have the potential of what it could be and what your life could be like without this relationship without this hell

You’re living in so the way you can kind of like reframe this in your head is look at this person

Like you have no history look at the person you’re dating like you have no fucking history

I don’t care if you’ve been together for one year one month ten years

Whatever look at the person objectively straight the fuck up if I had no time invested in this person

But I know what I know about them what I still choose to go forward into a relationship with them

So pretend that you’ve invested no time

Would you still want to go be with this person and if your answer is no?

That’s how you know you need to leave because a lot of people get trapped in that like oh

I’ve already been together this long. We have a kids together. We have a fucking dog together couples that get dogs

Please but a lot of people get stressed out about thinking that they waste the time just look at them and say

Would I entertain or even pursue a relationship with them if I had no time invested?

And I know what I know now what I go forward with it, and there’s your answer

Alright, this next one is a big one for me, but look at your relationship and look at your life

Do you feel like you are limiting yourself and limiting the potential for your life by staying in the relationship that you’re considering leaving

if you feel like you are limiting yourself and

You’re holding yourself back from the potential that you could reach because of the person that you’re with

That’s a sign that you know

You need to go

Another way you can look at this is look at the potential and the hope and the goals you have for your life

Is this person going to assist you in getting there?

Are you stronger with the relationship or are you hindered by it?

Is this person holding you back from it like being in this relationship? Are you able to?

Go do what you want to do like from an example with me and one of the relationships I was in

For me to go have a persona online and be in the public eye

I could not have done that and been with the person I was with they would have fucking

ruined me and

The relationship would have went to shit

I felt like I was limiting myself by not getting online

so that makes sense because I’m able to reach a lot more people and build what I’ve built and

Before I built all of this. I had like this feeling of like there’s things I’m supposed to do and

I knew I was faced with a decision of

If I stay with this person

I have to give up this potential and I wasn’t willing to make that trade-off

Like me giving up the potential for my life to stay with someone

Fuck that shit. Like I said, I will never teach you to choose someone over yourself

So if you feel like you’re limiting yourself and you’re limiting like what your life could be by being with someone

That’s a sign that you know, you need to go. All right this next one who personal very personal. Do you feel like you’re settling?

You already know the fucking answer it already popped in your head whether it’s looks whether it’s personality whether it’s money

Whatever it is if you feel like you are settling in any way

That’s fine

But it’s a sign, you know, you need to leave if you cannot choose to settle with this person without

Resentment without getting mad about it and without holding it over their head like every move they make everything that they do

Are you gonna secretly in the back of your head be like motherfucker? You’re the ugly one

Like why are you treating me like this? Are you gonna have resentment?

Are you gonna hold that power play because if you are you gotta go babe, like I’ve been there

I’ve fucking been there of like where the fuck do you think you are gonna treat me like this?

When you’re in a relationship, you cannot look down on the other person if you choose to settle

You have to choose to see yourself on an even playing field

And if you cannot choose to see the other person as equal to you and not that you’re better than them

You gotta go cuz that shit will fuck you up for multiple reasons, but that’s just one way

You know, you need to go but trust me if you feel like you’re settling you can choose to settle

But do not choose to settle if you cannot do it without resentment and the power play

Okay, next one’s really big. This one’s gonna help you a lot

But I want you to look at your partner and just imagine for a second

What would need to change about the person that I’m with?

For me to be fully 100% like yes, I want to stay with you forever

Make a list literally make a fucking list of everything that would need to change in order for you to say

Yes, I’m willing to spend the rest of my life with you

Like I fully am ready to commit what would need to change what would need to be different about them

This reveals everything that’s missing that you weren’t aware of and also all of your unmet needs that you have

It’s gonna flare all that shit up and you’re gonna become aware of it

But then once you have your list, you know, this person you’re dating

I need you to evaluate is the person I’m dating ever actually

Going to be able to achieve this of the person that I would want to stay with forever

Like are they able to meet this list? Are they able to grow into this?

Are they able to become this like evaluate the person that you know?

You can see if someone has the potential of reaching that or not and not the fake fucking fairy tale potential

I’m talking look at their fucking actions. Look at who they are how they behave what they do how they operate

From where they are and what you’ve seen in their actions. Do you feel they’re actually capable of becoming that?

Everyone has the potential to do anything that they want, but I’m not talking about look at the potential

I’m talking about look at the potential of the actions

They’ve shown are they in line?

With the trajectory to get them from where they are to what you need them to be on that fucking list

You got to evaluate and be like realistic with yourself

Do I really think that they’re gonna turn into this or do I not and it’s very hard to face reality

But that’s a good way to pull it out. All right next way to know that you need to leave

What would you tell your child to do if they came to you with the exact situation that you’re in?

and I always like to bring up children because it’s so much easier to see the innocence of a child and

To guide them and want to help them and be there for them

But what I want you to realize is like the little version of you when you think of yourself as a child

at no point

Did that child die and you just became who you are?

Your child self is still in you. I get chills every time I fucking my nipples are hard

I could cut glass like I get chills every time I talk about this shit

Because this has been the biggest component for me making a lot of hard decisions

And I have to do it for little me all the time. Like I’ve become what little me always needed

I will never let him down. I will never hurt him like other people have hurt him ever

But what you’re choosing to do to yourself and make yourself put up with you’re making a child put up with it, too

It is the child version of you

but if you want to completely dissociate from the fact that it’s you like a child is still inside you and

You’re forcing that child to go through what you’re choosing to go through if you need clarity about whether you want to leave or not

Ask yourself. What would I tell my child to do in this situation if they came to me with it?

What would I tell them to do and why if you can tell yourself the why?

with it also

It like taps you into a higher level of your own consciousness and you’ll be able to

Really face that shit and that’s your biggest

chance at

Really leaving if you need to leave because like I said, it’s easy to make the decision to leave and know you need to leave

It’s hard to make the decision. But my last thing I want you to ask yourself if you’re considering leaving

This is the thing that got me

Literally up off of the couch at my ex’s house

Like I literally was scrolling Instagram minding my fucking business

And all of a sudden awareness wants to hit me in the face and I hate when that shit happens

But I love it at the same time. I saw a quote that said

Do you want this forever and

I’m my phone literally was standing in my hand and I just like

Set my phone in my lap and I looked around the house and I was like


Like I hit me in that moment

I was like I don’t want this forever like even if this person becomes everything

I want them to be it still just doesn’t feel right with them. So ask yourself. Do I want this?

forever and

I want to go in deeper into the this

Because you can’t make a decision based off of the future potential

You have to make your decision based off of what you’ve seen and what you’re experiencing right now. Do I want this right now?


Okay, the answer you need is gonna pop into your fucking head when that happens, and I’m sorry

I wish I never saw that fucking post, but it is what truly made me

Change my entire life and choose to leave and that’s when I chose to step out of the lifestyle that I’ve always wanted and I’m

talking like

More money than you know what to do with and I chose to leave it and go back to working as a nurse

Because I felt like I was limiting my life and I knew I did not want that forever

Even though it was the lifestyle

I always wanted and I was traveling the world and I was seeing all the nicest shit eating the nicest dinners buying the nicest

clothes I just

That question will just get you okay, and I know how fucking painful it is and I’m sorry that I had to say it to you

but that’s

What’s gonna happen? Like it’s gonna trigger you out of it. So now let’s jump into what would Leo do?


So I have three situations that I found that I feel like will help people the most

From things that you guys submitted

So I have three situations that people are going through and I’m gonna tell you

How I would handle it or what I would do in your shoes

So number one basically this guy was talking to another guy and

the guy he liked

Was becoming distant and like not wanting to hang out and he said to him

I’m just not myself at the moment and I don’t know when I’ll be myself again

and he’s kind of like detaching and kind of like

pulling back and

In a situation like that. I’m gonna go ahead and tell all you straight up

What I’ve always needed to hear if

Someone tells you any reason why they cannot be with you. They simply do not like you enough

If you wanted to we would bitch. I know everybody gets mad about that, but it’s the fucking truth like

Any reason not to talk to you or be with you or see you is a fucking excuse

And I’m gonna go ahead and dead this issue right now. I’m the most busy I’ve ever been in my fucking life

Alright, I don’t have time to fart barely bitch. Like I work on so much shit and I’m run run run go go go

I’m so mentally occupied with everything and then also dealing with myself emotionally like I don’t have time for a relationship

Like it would be such a fucking chore to get into one

That’s why I’m choosing to be single and that’s why I’ve been single the last two years

Like I’m fucking good. Like I’m driving all of my effort and energy into my fucking self and doing what I want to do in

the world

But if mr

Right came along and fell in my lap and just like crossed paths with me and I valued this person enough

You best believe I’m gonna make it fucking work. I’m gonna find time

I’m gonna put the effort into it because when you value something enough, you will fight to keep it

You’ll put the effort in to have it

So if someone is not putting effort into you, they don’t want it bad enough

They don’t want you bad enough and I don’t say that to make you unsecure and think something’s bad or wrong about you

It’s just the fucking truth of the situation

People fight for what they value. Like I said, I don’t have time to fucking breathe

But if mr

Right came along and I know my mr

Right how hard they are to come by like my standards bitch

Like I literally have a fucking scoreboard of all the qualities I want in a person

So if I found someone that finally met that

I’m not letting them go like I’m gonna fight for them. I’m gonna find a way to keep them in my life

I’m gonna do what I have to do. So someone that truly wants you will do that

So if someone gives you any reason or excuse of why they can’t be with you


Got it. Wish you the best but bounce out because what the fuck is that?

Like I’m not myself at the moment and I don’t know when I’ll be myself again

Does he just expect you to fucking sit there with your dick in your hand and fucking wait? No, fuck that

We don’t wait for nobody. We don’t wait for shit. Choose yourself and get out choose yourself. Don’t get pissed

Don’t be petty. Don’t be mean respect their decision

Give them the space that they want take the pressure off of them by making the decision for them

They’re not open to having a conversation if they’re saying oh, I don’t feel like myself and I don’t know when I’ll be myself again

They’re not trying to have a conversation

They’re trying to get the pressure off of them because they don’t want to hurt you

So give them that relieve them of that pressure by making the decision without them to not pursue them anymore

Now you can care about someone and still leave you can want something and still not choose it

And I promise you what you’re gonna line up with

After you choose away from someone who does not value you

You’re gonna forget about that motherfucker in two seconds

okay, so the next situation someone’s dealing with this girl was talking to this guy and the guy basically said to her I’m

Going through things and I’m going through a lot, but you can’t help me with it

So like the guy is not opening up

he won’t allow her to help him with what he’s going through and my first instinct is like I get the reaction of like

Okay, maybe he’s kind of telling you

He doesn’t want you in a polite way. Like I’m like, I’m just a burning fucking bridge. You can’t help me

Oh, just let me burn like he’s just trying to like scoot out

but at the same time what I would do in that situation is

Give the person my presence and I would let them know that I’m there for them

I would like the chance to be there for them. I would let them know that they don’t have to face anything alone

So if things get too tough and you feel like you can’t deal with it. I’m always here

You never have to go through it alone. Just think about if you had a wall up

What would it take for someone to say or do for you to let the wall down and let them in?

That’s your first attempt is

To give your presence to someone to give your support and let them know that you’re there for them

Like make sure you see them in their situation. Just say what you can to make them feel seen and validated not judged

Not like anything they’re feeling is stupid or doesn’t make sense

Like just try to understand them go at them with the attitude of understanding

But I would just assure them like you never have to face anything alone. I’m here and

See where it goes from there

But if they give you some other bullshit excuse and completely push you out and like close you out of a situation and won’t let

You in bounce out

Fuckin leave. Okay, cuz either it’s an excuse not to be with you or there’s someone that’s never gonna let you in

So like I said

Look at what it would take for someone else to get your wall down and then do that for them and then see what happens

All right, before we jump into number three because I’m gonna teach you how to manipulate people

I do want to say I have a donations page set up for this podcast

so if you enjoy it and you like it and you want to support it and help me keep going I’ll put the link in

The description where you can donate and whoever donates the highest amount every week because my podcasts come out on Sunday

So between Sunday to Sunday whoever sends in the highest donation

Gets a free one-on-one zoom call with me for 50 minutes so we can run through any situation you have because that’s what I do

For a living, but if you are interested in working on with me one-on-one

I’ll leave the link to my application in the description because I like to gather information about people

I like to see how people answer the application to see what like level they’re at because I like people that can get deep and

People who are serious. So if you want to work one-on-one, I’ve got you

Link is below also the donations page if you just want support

But let’s jump into number three

So this girl reached out to me and said basically her job is really stressful and her family’s fucking awful

All right, and she lives with her family

But she can’t move out because what she went to school with

She got a degree with something where like the beginning pay is like not enough to like support herself financially

So she’s having to live at home

but her parents are really hard on her and she’s dealing with a lot of like hopelessness and

Feeling like not good enough and struggling and she’s stressed financially. She’s stressed about the future

She’s dealing with all these emotions and all this shit

So my advice what I would do in your situation is to manipulate the fuck out of your parents

And I’m gonna tell you the way that I would do it

So if you got a parent that’s on your fucking ass

You gotta let them know that you’re struggling and I don’t mean go to them and whine

Cuz a lot of parents would like shut the fuck up quit complaining. Don’t go to them like oh, I’m just so upset

I’m dealing with all this like mom and dad what the fuck like don’t say nothing like that

I want you to go to your parents or you can go to one of them one-off

I would do one off like go to your mom and be like mom

I know we’re at odds sometimes and I know we have our differences

but I really need some advice right now because I like I’m really struggling with some shit and I don’t know what to do and

I really want you to like

Help me like just tell me what you would do. Give me some advice

I don’t know what to do or who to go to that’s step one

Because the bitch’s guard is immediately gonna come down. Sorry. I don’t mean to call you. I’m a bitch

but people can’t continue to attack you when you’re already hurt people can’t kick a

Puppy that’s got like two legs

Like if you do you’re a fucked up individual but like if someone knows something is already vulnerable

They typically don’t attack it. They don’t lash out at it. They don’t like fuck with it, you know

so tell your mom what you’re feeling like open up about like I

Picked this job and I kind of regret it like I went to school and I’m not making enough money to support myself

Like I feel bad living here. I feel bad. Like I’m putting pressure on you and dad

Let her know the guilt you feel let her know the hopelessness you feel let her know that you’re so stressed and that you feel

bad because you know that you treat her a little weird sometimes and like

You’re just pulled in every direction you feel hopeless you feel lost you feel stuck let her know everything you’re feeling and then say mom

What would you do in this situation? Like what like how do I like help myself? What do I do? And

that is gonna force your mom to fully climb into your perspective to be able to give you advice and

She’s gonna get off your fucking ass quicker than you can even believe it

it’s also gonna make her see that you feel some of the things that she feels and

she’s not just gonna be looking at you like you have it all together anymore because typically when you have

Emotionally void parents, they just assume that you’re strong and you’ve got it all together

But when you let them see in and see that you’re not like doing good drop your fucking ego for that one

All right, you’re gonna have to I love a ego game

But there’s certain times to drop it

But the whole point of all this is to get your mom off your fucking ass to hopefully ease your living

Situation while you’re in it get some of the pressure off have your mom be a little nicer

Because as soon as you can fix the relationships at home, it’s gonna be a lot easier to be there

But like opening up like that and asking your mom for advice and then go to your dad separately and do the same thing

it’s gonna help them see that you’re already like

Vulnerable and they’ll most likely get off your ass and quit attacking you

But the way that I propose that makes them get into your perspective because you’re not just going to them to complain

You’re asking for advice. So they have to see where you are to give you advice that shit. You’re good. You’re golden

You’re gonna be fine. It’s gonna go so much better than you think but do not attack them

Don’t make the situation about them and how they treat you and like how you don’t like living at home

Make it about what you’re feeling and what you’re dealing with in your life

Trust me. So that’s all I got for what would Leo do this week?

I’m gonna start adding it at the end of all my podcasts

But if you have a situation you want my hot take on like this, you can leave a comment on this YouTube video

But if you have something that’s a little more private, you don’t want everybody seeing like next to your name DM me on Instagram

My Instagram is the Leo Skeppy

so just DM me on there, but I hope you enjoyed this episode if you want to be more aware and less aggravated hit a

Subscribe button and if you like this episode leave this video a thumbs up

And if you’re listening to the audio version on Spotify and Apple podcasts, leave me a five-star rating

But that’s all I got for this week

If you are in a place where you’re trying to figure out if you should leave or not

I hope this episode brought you clarity. It’s gonna be tough, but you got this shit. Okay, you’re more prepared than you were before

I’m gonna leave you off there

Thank you so much for listening or watching leave me your comments in the description and I will talk to you guys next week