Aware & Aggravated - 50. Feeling Alone When You're Around People

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Hi friends. This week I’m gonna talk about something that kick-started my

spiritual awakening, which was feeling alone in a room full of people. Like

being around people and still feeling alone. That feeling and that like whole

thing going on inside me is what led me to discovering the whole like

spirituality shit. So I’m gonna kind of break down what’s going on, what happens,

and then like a couple things about how to deal with it. Because that’s a very

very weird feeling to have. It’s like feeling lonely. So you go be around

people and then you still feel lonely even when you’re around people. So the

whole thing that happened with me, I think I was 20, and I was at my cousin’s

house. I’m very close to my cousins. Very very close to them. And I was sitting in

the living room with them and there’s like four of them plus my sister was

there. So there’s literally six people in this room and I’m around all these

people that care about me and all these people that love me. And I just sat there

on the couch for a minute and I was like, why the fuck do I feel so alone? Like I’m

literally sitting here. I can reach out and touch my cousins sitting next to me.

They’re that close to me. Why the fuck do I feel alone right now? Why do I feel so

isolated? I felt like sunken in. That’s like the best way to describe the

feeling state was I just felt like sunken in and alone and isolated. Like

just meh. Like I just didn’t feel connected to anyone. I didn’t feel close

to anyone. I felt so fucking alone even though they were literally close enough

for me to touch them. And that did not make sense to me. And that’s what sent me

on my hunt for answers of like, bitch someone got some explaining to do. God,

bitch, you got some explaining to do. Why do I feel like this? It don’t make no

logical sense. That’s one of the biggest things that really kicked off my

spiritual awakening. I have other stories and shit of like things that have

happened that are weird as hell, but I’m not gonna get into that with this one.

But understanding the way that I felt was like, okay, I feel alone around people.

Something’s not adding up so I need to look at it. So I started evaluating it

and looking at it and looking for answers, looking for like solutions and

shit and I couldn’t find any. So that’s what I’m here to share today. And the

first thing I want to talk about is what I realized about your internal world and

your external world. So everything going on inside you and everything going on

outside of you. That’s two different worlds, but you’re the only one that can

experience what’s going on inside you. Like pain, emotions, feelings, sensations.

Like you’re the only one that can experience what’s going on in you. And

you’re the only one that can validate it. You’re the only one that knows the truth

of it. So like other people outside of you, you might say, oh I’m sad. And they

can look at physically everything around you and everything you have going for

your life and like everything going on and be like, why the fuck are you sad?

They don’t get it. Like there’s more going on internally people can’t see. So

that was one of the biggest realizations I had around it was like your internal

world and your external world are separate and you’re the only one

experiencing the internal world. That can be good and bad shit. So like all your

good things you’re experiencing, all the good sensations, good feelings, and then

all the bad shit and all like the things that you’re struggling with. If you’re

the only one experiencing them and you’re the only one that knows about

them, you’re gonna feel alone. Because there’s a whole different world you’re

living in other people don’t know about and other people are not included in. So

in your external reality, yeah there’s people there. But in your internal

reality, it’s just you. And learning how to bring people in on my internal world

is what helped me not feel alone around people anymore. Because it wasn’t a false

sense of connection. I was not being around people being in a whole separate

world that they don’t know about. Like I started to reflect what was going on

inside me outside of me. So any problems I had, anything I was feeling, anything

going on inside me, I started letting people know. It was not a quick thing. I

didn’t just all of a sudden like open up and just let everybody fucking know what

was going on. It was a progression of like opening up slowly and then getting

comfortable with it. Because if you’re someone that like holds everything in,

it’s because it wasn’t safe to let it out. So if you just expect yourself to

watch this episode and then flip your whole life and the way you’ve been

living and like bring people in on your internal world, you’re not. It’s gonna be

fucking scary as shit. You don’t know what people are gonna do with what you

share. Like you don’t know if they’re gonna like attack you and validate you,

not like you, judge you. It’s like that’s a very scary thing to do. So preventing

people in is a safe route. But it’s only gonna keep you safe and make you feel

more comfortable for so long. Like the point I was at. Where I felt so

disconnected from everyone around me and everything that it was fucking

painful to just hold it in. But sharing what’s going on inside me was like the

cure. It’s really what fucking fixed it. That alone is its own journey beach.

Because you have to get clear on like what is going on inside you. You have to

become aware of it. You have to stop judging it. You have to face it and the

truth of it. And one big thing people don’t talk about with sexuality is how

detached you feel when you’re hiding it. Because when I was going through this

period of like feeling so disconnected and isolated, that’s when I really had to

stop ignoring the truth about my sexuality and tap into it and own it. And

it took a lot of internal work before I was able to allow that to reflect

externally and let people know what was going on inside of me. Because fear of

judgment and all that shit I was talking about before. And the closest thing I

found to this online was people talking about authenticity. And it’s about

sharing the truth of who you are with others. That will make you feel connected

to them. But I like to look at it like sharing what’s going on in your internal

world. Going on in your brain. Going on in your heart. Going on in your emotions.

Like sharing all of that is what’s not gonna make you feel isolated and alone

in it. Because people are aware of it. People can see it. And people want to be

there for you and comfort all parts of you. And they want to get to know all the

parts of you. But not being straight was a part of me that a lot of people didn’t

know of before. And they were only able to meet me as far as I would allow them

to. Like the truth of me. People didn’t get to know the full true me. Like I put

on the image that I was straight. So people just met me that far. They didn’t

get to meet the side of me that wasn’t. And when I say you have to let people

meet different parts of you, I’m gonna sound like a wacko for a minute. But

every part of you is a different part. That makes no fucking sense. But give me

a second. I’m gonna explain. So every emotion you feel and everything that

you experience and deal with inside of you is like a different part. That’s kind

of like how I like to look at it because it makes it easier to reveal to others.

Like if I’m sad, that’s a part of me people never got to see before. Like the

only emotions I would express before I became aware and like woke the fuck up

was anger and happiness. And that’s one of the reasons that I went and found

like a counselor and a therapist. I was like trying to figure out why do I only

feel two emotions? Like I haven’t cried since I’m 12. What the fuck is wrong? Like

I had gone through so much heartbreaking shit and I hadn’t shed a tear. Like I did

not know how to cry. I did not know how to feel sad. I would feel happy or I

would feel pissed off. There was certain periods of like numbness but those are

the only two emotions I was familiar with and that I could feel. I couldn’t

feel shit else. But if you have certain emotions, like if you feel sad, that’s a

part of you. You can let someone meet. Because like I was such a little tough

stuff back then. Like I used to hide every side of me that I felt was weak or

I felt would make people look at me at a certain way. And that led me to feel so

fucking isolated. But the parts of me that people didn’t know about or know

even existed, I had to start sharing them. I had to start letting people meet the

different parts of me. Like the part of me that does get sad. The part of me that

is insecure. The part of me that does question things. The part of me that is

sensitive and gets his fucking feelings hurt. Because I’m a Pisces. There’s no

hiding that. But the part of me that doesn’t just lash out in anger when he

gets his feelings hurt. The part of me that actually is just upset. So look at

it like introducing people to those parts of you. Like all the little aspects

of you. All the things that you feel inside. Every emotion state. Every feeling.

Your pain. Your desires. Your boundaries. What you like. What you don’t like. All of

these are things that you need to allow people to meet or you’re gonna feel

isolated forever. There is no fucking cure to it besides this. That I’m aware

of. Because I hunted and searched bitch. I saw plenty of counselors. Plenty of

therapists. Fuck them. They didn’t do shit. All these self-help books didn’t do shit.

This is what I had to discover like in myself of like okay get out of your body

and observe the situation of what’s going on. Why do you feel alone sitting

here in front of all these fucking people? Like Leo why would this person

alone sitting in a room full of people? What the fuck’s going on there? And

that’s what I learned from my observation of like digging into my own

situation was I had to let people truly meet me. Like there was so much of myself

I was hiding and that’s why I felt so fucking isolated. So it goes so deep and

it’s in so many small little things. It’s in the small shit. Everybody when they

make a change or they are going through something they wait for this big pivotal

moment of like this huge just discovery of like this secret. This hack. This trick.

There isn’t one. This is the trick but it’s not a big thing. It’s in every

little thing that you do. It’s in all the little parts of you that you haven’t

let people see. That you haven’t let people meet. But you have to meet them

first. So like me with my sexuality. I had to stop suppressing it and stop trying

to disown it and like discard it. I had to face the possibility that I might

actually not be straight. By just holding space for it to try and understand the

way that I was feeling is what allowed me to meet it. Because if you sit here

and you just judge yourself you’re never gonna even go down the rabbit hole of

exploring what’s going on inside you. You have to just be able to give things

inside you your presence. So thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, anything. Like

just observe them and see what the fuck’s going on inside you. See if it’s

true or not. Play into it. Entertain the thoughts. Don’t just immediately shut it

down. Because when I would have sexual thoughts about like a fucking dude I

would shut it down immediately and I wouldn’t even pay attention to it. But

that meant I was not able to meet the part of me that was not straight. I

wasn’t able to go down that. I couldn’t even like face it myself. So that’s the

step one. Is like you have to face shit in yourself you’re scared to face. There’s

so many things that are gonna completely deconstruct your self-concept. And it’s

one of the most painful fucking things you can go through. Is realizing certain

things going on inside you that are not accurate on the outside. So when I had to

completely like shift who I was on the outside I felt so fucking naked. Because

there’s a certain safety in hiding things. And having like a wall up and

having like a shell of like who you present to the world. You present the

part of you that is safe and has gotten you accepted for your whole life. That’s

what people typically present. So when you start realizing shit inside you that

doesn’t match that. You have to potentially go up to people looking like

a fucking liar and looking like you’re fake. Because you have to reveal what’s

truly in you. And it’s a hard thing and people are not gonna judge you that hard

for it. But the more you discover yourself the more you’re gonna have to

switch the way that you present. And a lot of things are gonna change and it’s

gonna feel so fucking uncomfortable. But this is the true way and the only way

I’ve found to cure feeling alone around people. It’s the only one. And it’s a very

very tough road to go down. But it’s the fucking true one that works. There’s so

many things you can do to numb out the feeling of feeling alone. You can

distract yourself. You can do fucking drugs. You can drink. Whatever. Do what

you got to fucking do. And so you’re ready to face the truth of it. I just

laid you out the roadmap of how to do it. And how to fix the problem for real. A

lot of people teach like distractive techniques and things that are not truly

gonna bring you in touch with yourself. But that’s the thing. You have to get in

touch with what’s inside you and then represent it and let people meet that.

That is what’s gonna make you feel cared about. If you just put on this image and

this shell to people, they’re gonna love this shell. They’re gonna love the

exterior you’ve put on. They’re not gonna love who’s inside it. They don’t fucking

know who’s inside it. And it’s a normal thing for everyone to do this. Like

everybody does this to a certain extent. And everybody has to keep themselves

safe. And everybody presents what gets them accepted. It happens. And then you

become more aware. And then you have to change it. But my biggest thing is just

don’t attack yourself for what you discover in yourself. Because people

don’t warn you about the whole like self-development shit. Like it can turn

into full-blown self-hatred. And like you become disgusted with yourself. And you

fucking hate yourself. And that’s what will lead you to wanting to no longer be

here. So take it easy. Don’t beat yourself up for what you discover. And just

because you have a certain thought or feeling, it doesn’t mean it’s

automatically true. But you have to go through your fear that it could

potentially be true to face it and see what it really is. But if you want to

talk about law of attraction shit, oh my god I don’t like to talk about that. A lot

of hate that people have comes from how they treat themselves. And now we’re

gonna talk about being a vibrational match to how people treat you. If you

have a part of you, like the part of me that’s gay, if I shut it down and I’m

like, that’s disgusting. Fuck no. Ew. I hate it. If I suppress that in myself, it’s

gonna reflect in my reality. And when it reflects in front of me through another

person, I’m gonna treat them and that trait exactly how I treated it in myself.

I’m gonna fucking be disgusted by it. I’m gonna want to push it away. I’m gonna

hate it. And that also works on the flip side. So as you start to get in touch

with yourself, and let’s say you’ve like had a negative experience with crying.

Like if you’ve cried around someone and they like attacked you or called you

weak or called you a bitch or whatever it is. And now that’s how you respond to

yourself when you’re emotional because that’s how I used to be. Anytime I would

get upset and cry, I would hide it. Anytime I would get upset and cry, I was

shamed. I was bullied. I was like made fun of. I was like pushed away by others. So I

stopped crying. I completely cut off from the part of me that was emotional and

that got sad. And that’s why I didn’t feel it. But I had to go back and like

revisit and re-meet the part of me that does get sad. And as soon as I changed

the way that I started reacting to myself, everyone else started reacting to

me differently. Like I said, the way you treat yourself inside is gonna reflect

on the external. So people that fucking hate the fact that they’re gay or won’t

even acknowledge it, they just feel disgusted by it, are gonna feel the same

way when it pops up in front of them. And people that caretake themselves and care

about the way that they feel and are gentle with themselves when they’re sad

or upset are gonna line up with people who are gonna treat them the same

fucking way. Because as soon as I started getting in touch with my emotions and I

started feeling sad and I stopped judging myself for feeling sad, I lined

up with people who cared about the way that I felt and understood that I got

sad and didn’t care and didn’t shame me. Like they were concerned. They wanted to

comfort me. They wanted to be there for me. As soon as you switch how you treat

yourself internally, that will reflect. It will match. You will become a match to

people who will treat you the same way. That’s a real weird fucking dynamic but

I’ve seen it happen too many times. I’ve experienced it too many times for me to

just say, oh it’s an idea. Oh it might not be true. I think it’s fucking true. Whether

you want to take that for yourself or not, go explore it. Don’t ever just take

something anyone says like and assume that it’s true. Fucking question it for

yourself. Test it out for yourself. Change the way that you operate and the way

that you look at yourself or a certain aspect of you. Switch the way that you do

it and then see who you line up with and see how they treat you when they see

that part. But this really just comes down to letting people see who you are

and see what you feel and see what you experience in your internal world

because you will no longer feel alone in it. You’re the only one in it so no

shit you feel alone. Like it makes so much sense but I know when you’re going

through it, it’s very confusing. But I hope this brought some clarity. But I

want to give you a little bit of reassurance because this scared the

absolute fuck out of me and I felt like I had nowhere to go and no one to talk

to when I started doing all of this because people don’t fucking get this.

And that’s a big reason why I started the Facebook community for all of you

guys. The link will be in the description if you want to join it. It’s a private

Facebook group for all of us. It’s free. It’s just a place where you can go to

talk to people who get it. You can go ask for advice. You can go post funny memes.

It’s just a place where all of us can go and create a little community where we

can be there for each other, give each other advice, relate, vent, comfort,

whatever you fucking need. You have a group of people who think the same way

you do and are on the same journey as you because I know how fucking lonely it

is. So that’s why I wanted to create that. But my whole point with bringing that up

is when you feel like you’re alone and you’re trying to like sort all this out

it gets very weird and you feel like uncomfortable and you don’t have anyone

you can talk to. But I just want to give you the reassurance while you’re

learning to navigate yourself and switch your relationship to all the different

parts of you inside yourself. Don’t be scared to show these parts to people.

You’re going to be. But I want to reassure you that you’re okay too and

people want to be there for you. Like after I started opening up about the

truth of myself and what I was experiencing and what I was feeling to

my friends a long time ago, my friend Summer literally looked at me and was

like, Leo I’ve wanted to be there for you so long. Like I’ve literally just

watched you and I’ve just been friends with this shell and I’ve wanted to be

able to be there for you but you wouldn’t let anyone in. You wouldn’t like

say anything was wrong. She’s like, I could tell but I didn’t know what was

going on and I wanted to be there for you. And I had a lot of friends say that

and a lot of people in my life. But people want to be there for you. It makes

people feel of use and people like to feel of use. So if you give someone a

chance to be of use to you by being there for you, by accepting you, by

comforting you, they’re gonna like that and it’s gonna make them feel more

attached to you and you’ll feel more attached to them. People want to feel of

use. So give them that. Allow them to be useful to you. Allow them to care about

you. Allow them to accept you. You have to give them the chance of that because

I’m someone who is extremely accepting because I know how hard it is to be

rejected and how fucking terrible that feels. So when someone is struggling with

something that they’re fucking petrified to like admit to anyone, I love when they

come to me and admit it to me because I get the chance to be such a pivotal

fucking moment in their life of them saying something that they’re scared

they’re gonna be rejected for and I get to accept them and be there for them

because I know how good it feels to have someone accept you. So I get to be that.

You know what I mean? Like allow people to be of use to you. I love it. I love to

be there for people. I love to be that pivotal moment and that piece of support

that they need and you being scared to let someone be that for you is robbing

both of us. You’re robbing yourself of the connection and you’re robbing me of

feeling useful to you and allowing me to be there for you. So I know there’s a lot

of guilt and shame around sharing shit inside of you like especially feelings

but I want to reassure you there’s nothing wrong with it and people want to

be there for you. I fucking promise. Go in the Facebook community. Literally go do

it and watch how much support you’re fucking flooded with. Whether you’re

question your sexuality or whatever it is. It’s a private group so anything you

post in there it’s only seen by people I’ve accepted and allowed to be in the

group. So it’s all people who are supportive and people who will be there

for you. Like it’s all people just like you who fucking get it and are all

struggling with their own shit. Literally go post whatever you’re dealing with in

that fucking group especially if it’s about your sexuality and watch how many

people flock to support you and be there for you because they genuinely care. Not

because they get anything for it. They don’t get shit for it. Like people just

genuinely care about you and I’m excited for you to experience that. Alright so

before we jump into what would Leo do I just want to say if you like this

episode so far and you feel like it’s helpful leave this video a thumbs up and

share it with someone that you know. Share it with anyone that you think will

help them because I want to help get this out because this is what truly

fucking saved me. These are the realizations and the shit that like got

me out of where I felt so stuck in. So I want this to touch as many people as

possible. So send this to anyone you think it will help. Share it wherever you

want. If you put it on your Instagram story like share that you’re listening

I’ll reshare it to mine. I love when you guys fucking do that. But something big

people ask me about a lot is eating disorders. Go to a therapist or go to a

nutritionist who has struggled with eating disorders. Go to them because

they’ll teach you how to fucking get through it. They’ll teach you how to deal

with it. I’ve recovered from fucking binge eating. I can teach someone how to

do it. It’s just a matter of finding someone who has done what you want to do.

Like I went from cripplingly fucking insecure to like… But let’s jump into

what would Leo do? So the first situation someone is asking they wrote y’all

people write like long paragraphs but I like when they’re short and like to the

point but sometimes I need more details. But this person basically vented about

like how they can’t find like a good therapist or a good coach. So they said

how do you find a good therapist or a good coach? I’m just gonna like summarize

it like that. So if you’re looking for a fucking therapist go to a therapist who

has experience with what you’ve been through. So if you’re dealing with

suicidal thoughts do not go to a motherfucking therapist that does not

know about that. Has not experienced it and doesn’t know how to navigate it

because all they’re gonna spit at you is what they’ve learned from a fucking book.

You need the people who have walked through the fucking murky ass water that

you’re stuck in. You need to find the people that have made it out of the hole

you’re stuck in. They know how to get out truly not by throwing a fucking

medication at you. Like they’re the ones that can truly get you through it. Same

thing with coaches. If you want to hire a coach because a lot of people don’t like

therapists. If you want to hire a coach hire a coach who has achieved what you

want to achieve or has repaired something in themselves that you want to

repair. Same thing with like a trainer. If you want to hire a personal trainer hire

a motherfucker that looks the way you want to look. You don’t go hire the fat

at the personal training gym because they’re a personal trainer. Clearly they

don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. They went to school they got a

certification. It doesn’t mean they know what the fuck to do with it. They read

some books. Okay so go to people who have what you want to have. Who have been

through what you’re struggling with or who look the way you want to look. That’s

my fucking like across the board for all this shit. Like don’t go to someone who

has not made it out of what you’ve been through. Sure other people can help and

it’s gonna be a little difficult to find like certain things. Confident and so

assured in myself you can’t tell me shit. Like no one can like penetrate like the

fucking like shield of confidence I have now. It’s like I’m you’re not fucking

with me. So just remember me saying that. Anyone can get a title. Anyone can get a

license. Anyone can get a fucking degree. It does not mean they’re good. It does

not mean they’re credible. It means they’ve read books, studied shit, and

taken tests and passed. All that means is they’re qualified on paper. It does not

mean that they’re capable of helping you. Qualified does not mean capable. Okay

just remember me saying that when you’re trying to find anyone that can help you.

Go to motherfuckers who know how to get what you want. Trust me. Because I went to

a couple therapists that were not struggling with what I was struggling

with and I kept getting faced with well how does that make you feel? Are you

opposed to getting on medication? No bitch I don’t want to fucking get on

medication. I want you to help me through my goddamn problems and they couldn’t

offer anything and that’s one thing that I strive so hard to offer like my

one-on-one clients is like tools. Like literal ways to manage your fucking

emotions and manage everything you’re dealing with. I’m not just gonna say oh

just talk about it. Oh just journal it down. No I’m gonna teach you how to deal

with the thoughts when they come up. Reminders to tell yourself. Ways to go

about and navigate situations and ways to like stay on track and get yourself

like back to normal. Like I I fucking hate people that just like are like oh

just talk to me. Like a therapist should not just be a fucking ear. Okay venting

does nothing. Sorry. You could vent on a piece of paper for free. The fuck? But the

people that have been through what you’re going through are not just gonna

sit there and listen. So when you speak what you’re going through they’re gonna

relate to that pain because they’ve been there and they’re gonna want to give you

as much as they can. That’s how I fucking am. When someone comes to me and they’re

sitting in a situation that I’ve struggled through and made it out of I

know what they need to get out of it and I’m gonna give it to them. I’m gonna

over fucking deliver because I want to save them from it because I know how

painful that shit was. So finding someone who’s been through what you’ve been

through is the one that can truly help. I’m just gonna leave it there. Okay so

the next situation I’m gonna try not to laugh. I can’t even read it and I’m

laughing. Okay someone said my ex got me Legos for the last four years when we

were together. I don’t know if I should keep them or throw them away.

Legos? Like the toys? I don’t know your age. I don’t know your situation. There

are some adults that are into Legos. If that’s your thing do it. Mitch I’m not

laughing at you I’m just laughing at the situation. I’m kinda. But like are you

attached to the Legos just because he gave them to you or do you love Legos?

Like if you have an actual collection of like Legos and shit that you like love

and enjoy I’d say if they’re like a key piece to completing a collection or you

value what they are aside from who gave them to you keep them. If you’re only

keeping something from an ex because it came from the ex get the fuck rid of it.

Trust me I’ve been there. I burnt so much shit and sold so much shit from

previous relationships just because I don’t fucking want to be reminded of you.

Like there’s certain things that I love just them for what they are. There’s no

attachment to who gave it to me and I can dissociate that. But to hold on to

things like oh just because your ex gave them to you get the fuck rid of them.

Trust me there’s this weird energetic thing that happens when someone gives you

a gift and you keep it because it’s like from them. You’re like emotionally like

attached still and I can’t tell you how good it feels to light that shit on fire

because I had a fucking fire pit with a bunch of shit from my exes like it’s so

nice to just watch it burn. But my astrology chart is like my element is

fire like I manifest through fire I cleanse through fire like fire is my

thing like other people might like other shit but I’ve had my chart read and shit

and I’ve always been obsessed with fire but it makes sense. So get rid of it if

you’re only keeping it just because of who it’s from. Trust me you’re gonna feel

so like cut off from it and like moved on and detached you’re gonna feel like a

weight is lifted off of you just trust me on it it makes no fucking sense it

makes a lot of sense but it makes no sense but just trust me don’t keep shit

just because of who gave it to you. If you don’t like it get rid of it. Okay so

the next situation I’m gonna have to read. Someone said what would you do if

you knew someone was disrespectful to you throughout the entire relationship

embarrassed you by talking to all their friends about you but now they’ve

recognized it and decided to improve themselves now that you’ve distanced

yourself will they revert back to those behaviors once they get me back

emotionally or is there a chance they’ve truly mean their words they seem sincere

but I’ve been asking them for so long so someone being disrespectful about you

and to you in a relationship is a fucking no-go either leave them or smack

the fuck out of them but embarrassing you to their friends no bitch that ain’t

gonna fly because for you to go around their friends now is gonna feel

uncomfortable if they went running their fucking mouth about you and ruined

your character and ruined your image to all these fucking people and they think

that you can still coexist with them that’s weird that’s uncomfortable

because what are they gonna do go to all their friends and be like hey I lied

my ex was not actually like this and we’re back together like they’re gonna

have to face looking like a liar or you’re gonna have to face owning the

shit that you did if it was fucked up and they’re just gonna be looking at you

like what the hell that’s why I say shut your

fucking mouth when you’re dating somebody

your fucking relationship problems stay between you two do not run your

fucking mouth so I get your frustration with that shit because once you try and

embarrass me or attack my character you’re fucked

bitch now we’re done because there’s no

recovering from that you’re just gonna go like share shit and try and make me

look bad intentionally fuck you that’s childish and he’s someone

that needs to defend his image and his reputation

with the people around him and he cares about that more than he cares about how

he makes you look or how he makes you feel

so that’s a dangerous motherfucker to deal with because he wants to get to

people first with his fucking story to paint an image and save his self-concept

before they find out the truth and find out he was the dick or you both

were at fault like he people like to look like the

little innocent one so if you feel like that’s the case

watch the fuck out with that but you said he realized he

fucked up once you decided to distance yourself

convenient so if you’re thinking about giving this another shot

I think you need to test it like slowly ease into seeing what’s going on it’s

like don’t jump back into a relationship don’t

fucking commit right back off the bat fuck that he don’t deserve that shit

when you fuck up it’s like you have to earn it back

so agree to give it another shot but be hesitant

be distant and make him fucking prove himself the first time he’s

disrespectful you walk I don’t give a fuck that’s

that’s that’s a real hard thing is like when someone’s fucked up and you’re

having to like be reproven that they won’t behave a certain way

as soon as they fuck up if you take them back and like be okay with it

it just establishes the pattern of like that’s acceptable behavior and they’ll

keep fucking doing it you can give him another chance but he

has one he fucks up he’s out he’s done that’s

while you’re going through like the reproving themselves period

because if you think you’re just gonna run a relationship off of like you get

one chance forever it’s never gonna fucking work

that’s too much tension and it’s gonna be like walking on eggshells but

when he’s trying to prove himself again and make you like get close to him again

and trust him again you’re gonna have to give him one

fucking shot and be very serious about it like

stay distant so that when you when he does fuck up you cut him and you walk

and it’s not that fucking hard but if you just jump back in it emotionally

it’s gonna make things a lot more difficult but while he’s trying to prove

himself he gets one shot after you feel like you trust him more

you’re good don’t tell him he only has one shot that’s for you to know because

you don’t want him like pretending to be on like his best

behavior don’t tell him he has one shot just allow him to show if he’s truly

changed or not and watch his actions you have to get into another situation

when he gets pissed off does he fucking disrespect to you what

happens do not just jump back in you fucking like put your toe in the

water and you put like a little knob itself maybe like

like an ankle or something you don’t fucking just jump back in you test it

and you let him prove that he does see it and he is changed

or he hasn’t and if he hasn’t you cut that shit and you never fucking feel bad

about it okay love you that’s all i got for this

podcast episode like i said if you liked it leave it a thumbs up and the link to

join the facebook community will be in the description

if you want to follow me on instagram my instagram is the leo skeppy

i’ll also have in the description my link to all my templates of all my

accountability worksheets of how i keep myself disciplined and do so much

and then i’ll also have the link to my app which is positive focus where

it sends you positive notifications throughout the day like just nice things

to know like little perspective shifts that’ll get you thinking in a better

direction also the submissions for being on what

would leo do if you want to put in your submission

hit the link in the description under wwd you get it what would leo do

and send it in there it’s completely anonymous and i do want to say

i don’t mean to tease but i’m coming out with merch soon it’s long awaited

and i’m so excited about it but like i’m about to be so meticulous with it

it’s gonna take a little time i’m gonna make sure that shit is perfect before i

release it to you guys because i’m gonna be wearing the shit too like if i’m

gonna wear something it’s gonna be of quality so i’m in the process of

making that right now but i just wanted to let you know because i’m so excited

but thank you all so much for watching don’t forget to share this podcast with

people that you think it will help but i will talk to you guys next sunday