Aware & Aggravated - 51. Being The Jealous One & How to Stop

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Hi friends so this week I want to talk about jealousy and not just jealousy in

relationships, jealousy in friendships too because I used to be and still am

one of the most jealous motherfuckers you can find. So first I want to

deconstruct everybody’s view of jealousy because everybody just writes it off

like it’s bad and it’s like toxic if you’re jealous. We’re gonna go into that

shit I’m gonna deconstruct it and then I’m gonna give you my tips for dealing

with jealousy and like I said with friendships and relationships because

when I’m in a relationship I don’t want you looking at nobody but me, talking to

nobody but me, thinking of nobody but me, and if I’m friends with you I don’t want

you having no other friends but me. And when I say we got to go into it we’re

gonna go into it because I understand this is not like a healthy way to be but

it does not negate the way that I feel. Like I’m fully aware of the proper way

and the healthy way of having a relationship or having a friendship but

motherfucker my feelings say otherwise. So I’m gonna break all this down and

teach you how I truly deal with it because this is the shit that I could

not find online when I was looking for it and this is what’s helped me the most.

So here we go. So the biggest thing I realized about jealousy is you’re not

just jealous for no reason. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy and it doesn’t mean

you’re immature and it doesn’t mean you’re toxic. The way that you respond to

when you feel jealous makes you toxic or not but we’re gonna get into that. But

the biggest thing to realize about jealousy is you’re not fucking crazy for

it. It’s not just this feeling that comes out of nowhere. What’s really going on

when you feel jealous is you’ve perceived a threat to your connection

with someone or your closeness to someone and that alone will give you a

lot of explanation to why you feel the way that you do. Because it does not feel

good to feel jealous but it’s not just jealousy. You’re perceiving a threat to

your connection with someone. You’re perceiving a threat to your closeness.

You’re perceiving a threat to your security and your attachment with

someone. So of course you’re gonna have a fucking emotional reaction to that.

Anyone would and anyone who says they don’t is a fucking liar. They might not

label it as jealousy but everybody gets that anxious and that like anger

aggressive, the scared, the fear. It’s like your fight-or-flight mode kicks on when

something could potentially fuck up what you have going on with someone. Whether

there’s a friendship or a relationship, people that claim not to be jealous, I

don’t believe them. I don’t believe them for two fucking seconds because it’s not

just feeling jealous. It’s not like that’s mine. It’s not a sense of

territorial and like you can’t touch it. Oh I just don’t get jealous. It’s like

people that say they don’t get jealous feel very secure in their attachment

with someone and they don’t feel like there’s a threat. But if they felt like

there was a threat, they would feel jealous. Does that make sense? So the

people that are the most like not jealous are the ones that feel the most

secure in their attachment with someone. That’s something I’m still learning to

navigate. And typically people with abandonment issues or insecurities are

the ones who are gonna feel like there are constant attacks and threats to

their sense of connection. Because the more I’ve gotten confident in myself and

the more that I’ve built my self-esteem, the less jealous I feel because I

understand my attachment to people and I get it deeper. But for so long like when

I was insecure and I couldn’t like fathom like why people would like me,

that shit, oh I was jealous like a motherfucker. Like if you looked at

someone I was with, I was probably in your face in like two seconds. Like I

used to be very very like aggressive and mean and like territorial. I always would

call it territorial but it was just me trying to protect my sense of connection

with someone. It’s like I was aggressive over it because I was so fucking worried

about it. And that’s where I talk about the way you react makes you toxic or not.

Because when I used to react aggressively like that would make me

seem toxic and it was a toxic cycle about like people I like and care about

talking to other people and being around other people. Like I’m still very

sensitive to disrespect. If something is disrespectful, I’m fucking reacting off

of that. But when you feel a sense of jealousy, you feel a threat to your

connection with someone, I’m gonna keep saying those things together because

that’s what’s truly fucking going on. If you all of a sudden start lashing out

over the way that you’re feeling, you’re gonna seem like an asshole, you’re gonna

seem toxic, and you’re gonna seem irrational. But bringing up the irrational

part, I have to go into that too. Things are gonna seem so irrational to other

people. Like other people are not gonna understand why you feel the way that you

do. Like if you’re the type that’s like overly jealous and you’re very insecure

in your attachment with people, you can understand why you feel the way that you

do. But to other people, they’re not gonna be able to grasp why you’re having such

a strong emotional reaction to a little situation. So other people are not really

gonna get it. But that’s why I say don’t just let someone write you off as

jealous. Like say what the fuck it is. I feel insecure in my attachment with you.

That’s gonna make it seem a lot more human and understandable to other people.

They’re not just gonna be like, oh you’re just being irrational, you’re crazy, you’re

psycho. No motherfucker, I’m hurt, I’m scared. You go at someone with two

different energies. When you go at someone and just like, oh you’re jealous,

you’re toxic, versus I’m unstable in my connection with you, I’m fearful of

losing you, or I’m fearful of someone taking you away. That’s two different

reactions you’re gonna get based off how you communicate the way that you’re

feeling. But my big point was saying other people are gonna think you’re

irrational. If you feel unstable in a connection and they don’t, they’re not

gonna understand why you feel the way that you do and feel so strongly. Like

you’re in a disconnect. Like they feel secure, you don’t. So when you have a

reaction, when you perceive a threat to the connection, they’re not gonna

understand why you feel so strongly because they don’t feel it. But anyone in

your fucking shoes that feels unstable in their connection with someone, if

there’s a perceived threat to it, they will feel the exact way that you do too.

People need to get a fucking better understanding of this shit. That’s why

I’m making this podcast episode. But I still deal with these feelings. I still

deal with feeling jealous all the time. But I no longer call it being jealous.

Like I said, I re-fucking worded it into like, okay, I feel unstable in my

connection with someone. I’ve just learned to respond differently. So used

to I would just like lash out at the situation. But now I’m able to look at

was there a situation that happened that was disrespectful? Or is my emotional

reaction like irrational in this situation? Like look at it logically.

Because you can feel things and they seem normal. But if you look at the

situation logically, did this thing cause this big of a reaction in me? Does it

make sense that I’m this emotional over this one little thing? Like my friend

talking to somebody else and getting along with someone else. Does it make

logical sense for me to feel like anger, rage, like shake and like be so upset

about it? Does it make sense? No. It makes no logical sense. So the way that I have

to go about comforting myself is, like I said, when you feel jealous, you’re

insecure in your attachment with someone. So you have to do things and comfort

yourself in a way where you show yourself and feel more connected and

secure in being like attached to a person. And the main way you have to do

that is look at how the person is attached to you. All you see when you’re

insecure is how you’re attached to other people. You don’t see how they’re

attached to you too. And that’ll lead you to a lot of like isolation and

insecurity and feeling all this fucking shit. But I’m gonna open you up to that

world because that’s one I didn’t see for a long time was look at how someone

could be attached to you and could want you and how their life would be impacted

by losing you. Look at how they’re fucking attached to you too because you

see how you’re attached to them and it feels so scary and you’re so anxious

about it because you’re not seeing the flip side. You see how attached you are

to them. You’re not seeing how attached they are to you. And I promise you they

are. And another big fear I used to have is like I was scared people wouldn’t

value me enough to prioritize keeping their connection with me. Like if

something better came along they would just like go for that and discard me. So

that’s what I’m saying. You have to reassure yourself first and see all of

this first. Like they don’t have to be included on this part. Now if you do

everything I say in this episode and you don’t feel more secure in your

attachment with someone, go to them and talk through it with them and they’ll be

able to reassure you and make you feel better. You need to learn to reassure

yourself first. If you go to someone every time you feel fucking insecure,

jealous, whatever it is, they’re gonna get fed the fuck up and they’re gonna get

tired of it. So the biggest thing is learning to comfort yourself because I

used to not be able to do that. I didn’t know how to do it. So that’s what I’m

here to share. So the ways that I comfort myself, the first thing I look at with

the person is like I understand, okay if this situation was not one of disrespect,

I’m just thinking irrationally and I’m just feeling like incongruent to what’s

happening. The first thing I do to make myself feel closer and more secure in my

attachment with someone is to ask myself what needs do I meet for them? Because

that’ll make me see how I’m hard to just dispose of. The next question I ask

myself is what would their life look like without me in it? Like this is

really just a practice of seeing your own value and recognizing how other

people appreciate you and why they would want you in their life. Like you have to

see that first. So I also ask like how am I valuable to them? Like what about me

makes me valuable to them? And another way that I do this if I can’t think of

anything, I will ask myself like if I had someone like me in my life, why would

I be scared to lose them? If I was friends with me or I was dating someone

just like me, what would be so scary about losing that person? Because that’s

gonna reflect you all the value you have and it’s gonna reflect you how much they

appreciate you. Which will make you feel more secure in your relationship or

attachment with them. Another thing I really like to do is ask people around

me. So like I’m very close with my sister and she will give me the honest fucking

truth. Like good and bad. So I always go to her for shit like this because she’ll

reflect me the truth. I’ll ask her about like my connection with people and she’s

very good at reassuring me that they’d be stupid not to fucking wanna like

be friends with me basically or love me. But talk to other people around you

because they’ll be able to voice things about you that they’re attached to that

you might not be thinking of that you can apply to your situation. It will make

you feel more attached to the people you talk to. One, because you see how they’re

attached to you. And two, it will help you see shit you weren’t seeing about the

person you’re worried about. So talking to other people around you that you

trust and care about and will be honest with you is fucking huge and I love that.

So the last thing I kind of ask myself and do if a situation makes me feel

really jealous. So I’ll look at did the person do anything? Like I analyzed if

it’s disrespectful or not. If they’re not being disrespectful, okay what’s the

situation? What’s gone on? Did they do anything? And then I’ll look at have they

pulled back from me or like distanced their self in any way? Like even before

that? Like have they been acting different? Like try and spot changes in

behavior and see if something’s going on with them. And could anything else be

going on in their life? Are they dealing with certain shit that caused them to

act different toward you? Like certain people when they’re too mentally

preoccupied with something or they’re dealing with a hard time, they’re not

gonna be able to be as attentive to you. So you have to cut people slack. So my

point with bringing this up is to basically see if there’s anything else

going on with their behavior towards you. Because that might be a signal

something’s going on with them. They might be dealing with something. They

might be going through something. They might be feeling something. And you might

need to check in on them. Don’t make their change in behavior mean anything

about you. Like you’re gonna have that hit of like feeling anxious that like

something’s wrong. But something might just be going on with them. They just

might be dealing with something. So if you can look at their behavior and it’s

not been like different in a bad way toward you. Like they’re not pulling away

from you personally. They might just be dealing with some shit. Check in on them.

Ask what’s going on. Just be like, hey I’ve been feeling like something’s up. I

wanted to check in on you. People love to be checked in on. I fucking love when my

friends check on me. Like thank you so much. Thank you for being concerned. But

that’s a really big thing that I like to do is you have to analyze like are you

the problem? Are you not? If you’re not, check in on them because it might just

be a signal that something’s going on with them. And they might need comfort.

They might need support. And that being there for them, recognizing when they

need comfort, and then giving it to them will make them feel more attached to you.

Trust me. Okay so now I’m gonna give you a personal story or situation about when

my emotional reactions are very irrational and they don’t make fucking

sense. So if a situation happens and what happened does not match the amount that

you feel. Like if it seems like a small situation and your emotional reaction is

like way fucking overboard, nothing is ever an overreaction. There’s something

deeper going on. And I’m gonna say that again. Nothing is ever an overreaction if

someone is upset. They are reacting accordingly to what they’re feeling. Now

a certain situation might have just triggered something they are not aware

of. So it might just be like a little messenger of like an unhealed aspect or

unhealed emotions and shit you haven’t processed yet. And I’m gonna give you my

fucking example of this. Oh God. My biggest heartbreaks and like the only

real time I’ve truly felt heartbroken is from family members and friends. That’s

where the deepest shit hits. Like sure like you have a little heartbreak when

you’re going through a relationship, but my deepest heartbreaks have been from my

family. And that’s a fucking topic for another day. But this situation I have to

give you kind of like a rundown and you’re gonna get to know something about

me that I’m hesitant to share but I fucking need to. It proves the point.

Okay so when I was younger my mom was dating a guy named Josh and he is such a

key element to who I am and why I am the way that I am. Now I will do a full

podcast episode about my experience with him because he literally fucked me up.

Like extreme levels of like physical abuse, torture, psychological abuse, shit

like that. That literally shaped me into who I am. A big part of it. But Josh got

me into lifting. Like weightlifting. So when I was like 14 I started P90X and I

started like doing my little fitness shit. I don’t know what the fuck I was

doing. I started like getting into shape like trying to because I was like chubby

and I was just doing like a little P90X shit at home because I was too

embarrassed to go to a gym. But when my mom started dating Josh, me and my mom

started talking again. And then Josh kind of like took me under his wing and like

forced me to go to the gym with him. He’s like come on fucker you’re done with

your little P90X shit. Like you’re coming to the gym with me. So he got me

into the gym and he’s the whole reason that like I got into lifting and like he

taught me everything I know. And he’s such a key element. But we would work out

every day together. Every fucking day. It’s like he took me under his little

wing and I was like his little gym buddy. And he was like a big brother to me. Like

a big brother I never had. And like a father figure but not really. It was like

a big brother. And I’ve never had many like close guy friends when I was

younger. I do now. But I never really had close guy friends growing up. But Josh

was like my best friend. He was like a big brother. I finally had like a male

figure I could look up to. And like someone to guide me and teach me things.

So we were working out every day together. And we had been working out

together every day for like a year at this point. And we were literally like it

was part of our fucking routine. It was what we did. Like we were so tight.

We were best fucking friends. And even with everything going on. Like with the

abusive shit. Like we were still so tight. It was the weirdest fucking shit. I don’t

understand it. Like he’s dead now. And he died like tragically. But he did so much

fucked up shit to me. But I still care about him so much. Weird dynamic. That’s

not the fucking point. Leo get on track. So the whole thing is we worked out

every day together for a year. I felt so close to him. We would do everything

together. I felt like best fucking buddies. And then one day he came home

from work. And I was getting ready to go to the gym at the time that we usually

go. And he goes oh Leo like we’re not working out together today. I’m going to

train with somebody else. So he wasn’t working out with me. And I literally like

inside freaked the fuck out. Like that jealousy feeling came out like I’ve

never fucking felt it before. Like I literally like had to like walk away and

go to my room. And I was like like my chest felt so heavy. I was like pissed. I

was like shaking. And I was on the verge of fucking tears. Like I wanted to just

fucking cry. But that was back before I could cry. Like I didn’t know how to cry

back then. But like I just felt so angry and like so fucking upset. I felt

betrayed. I felt heartbroken. I was like what the fuck. Like I had a full on

physical and emotional reaction that did not match the situation. He was going to

work out with someone new. That’s it. Like why am I acting like there’s more

to it. He was going to work out with someone new for a day. But I freaked the

fuck out over it. Like I was so heartbroken. I felt like I lost him. And I

was so like freaked out. And once I became aware that my emotional reaction

I was having was not like congruent with the situation at hand. I was like what

the fuck is really going on here. Because the way that I feel so abandoned

and left and discarded and like hurt. Like I was like no. Why the fuck do I

feel like that. That doesn’t make sense. It does not make sense for the situation.

I get you’d be upset sure. But like the emotional reaction I had did not make

fucking logical sense. And that’s when I say when you have an emotional and

physical reaction that does not match a situation something is going on deeper.

So I asked myself. I’m literally getting chills talking about this shit. I asked

myself when I was like feeling upset like that. When was the last time I

experienced this feeling. Because feeling states that you don’t process will

revisit you. And revisit you. And revisit you. And they’ll be triggered by new

situations until you fucking deal with them. So I asked myself when was the last

time I felt like this. And I immediately got like a flash or like an image of

like when my aunt abandoned me. And let me give you a little background on that.

So my relationship with my parents was always like rocky back and forth. I would

like flip between houses all the time. But my aunt is someone who attached

herself to me very young. She was like my favorite. Everybody knew I’d throw

anybody under the fucking bus for her. Like I would literally kill any of them

for her. Like I was so attached to her. I cared about her so fucking much. And

she’s been my biggest heartbreak to date of like what happened. But she never had

kids. And she always wanted kids. And the people she was with like couldn’t have

kids. Whatever the fuck. So like she attached herself to me. And like I would

spend every weekend with her. We were as fucking tight as you can be. Like I loved

her so fucking much. And I would see her every like every day basically. And she

lived like a mile away from my dad’s house when I lived with him. And like and

it was summer. So like I would walk over to her house here and there because I

didn’t have a car. I couldn’t drive. So I would just walk to her house. And randomly

one day I got the feeling of like I should go walk over to her house. So I

walk over to her house out of fucking nowhere. I didn’t tell her I was coming.

And I walk in the door and all of her shit is packed. And she looks like caught.

And she’s like oh shit. Like I wanted I didn’t I didn’t want you to find out

this way. I wanted to talk to you like first. It was just a normal fucking day

to me. I had no idea what was going on. So she had recently started dating a new

guy. And that day when I walked in the door I found out the next day they were

planning on up and moving and leaving and going to Pennsylvania. And I lived in

Florida. So walking in on that absolutely broke my fucking heart. Like you met a

new person and now I just lost you. Like the person I felt the absolute closest

to. And the way that it went with like if I didn’t walk over to that house that

day I wouldn’t have gotten to say bye to her. I wouldn’t have known what was going

on. She was just gonna fucking leave. So when I was upset about Josh and the gym

situation and I asked when was the last time I felt this emotional reaction. It

was then. It was when I was abandoned. And that is when I had that reaction. Like I

felt like that all over again. When Josh said he was gonna work out with someone

else. So the situation at hand with Josh was not that I was that upset over him

going to the gym with someone else for a day. We were gonna go back together the

fucking next day. It was a trigger from an emotional reaction that I’ve never

processed. Like I never truly processed the situation with my aunt leaving. Like

it literally broke my fucking heart. But I didn’t know how to process my emotions

back then. I don’t know how to deal with it. So I just kind of like shut it out.

And it got reflected again. And then I had the chance to process it once I knew

what was going on with the whole Josh situation. So like I said if you have an

emotional fucking reaction that does not fit the situation. Something deeper is

going on. There’s something else being triggered. It’s not about the gym

situation. It was about when my aunt fucking abandoned me and I never

processed it. I had to go back and reprocess it. And it was the hardest

fucking shit. And I had to literally relive the experience. And like get

myself through it. But since then I’ve not had a physical fucking reaction like

that when I get jealous over something. And that’s when I started having like

awareness around what jealousy really is. And the whole situation with Josh like

working out with someone new. It was like the exact replica of like this

person I’m very close to. They meet someone new and abandoned me. It’s like

that situation was getting replayed in my mind. And that’s what got triggered.

Like Josh met this new guy. He was gonna work out with him. And I was immediately

like abandonment comes after. Like my brain just like saw a situation

experienced something before. And then overlaid it over here expecting the same

result. That’s why I got so fucked up over it. So just remember me saying you’re

not fucked up for being jealous. You’re not irrational. You’re not toxic. You’re

not immature. You’re perceiving a threat to your connection with someone. That’s

what jealousy is. Before we jump into what would Leo do I just want to say if

you found this episode useful leave this video a thumbs up. If you’re listening to

the audio version leave me a five stars. But send this episode to someone that

you think would benefit. And if you’re the person that’s dealing with someone

toxic that’s like jealous all the time. Now you have a better understanding of

like why they feel the way that they do. They need comfort when they get jealous.

They don’t need you to attack them and tell them they’re stupid and wrong for it.

And if you are someone that’s jealous and you deal with emotional shit like

this all the time or you have a situation where you just want to like

run it by someone. That’s why I made my Facebook community. It’s a private group

for all of us. Like everyone that thinks like us and listen to this podcast. Like

go in there and submit your situation. Like go type a fucking post and everyone

in the group will like give you advice. So if you think you’re being irrational

go ask for opinions from people who fucking get it. That’s what we’re all

here. We’re all there for each other. That’s what the fucking group is for. So

if you want to join that my link to my private Facebook group will be in the

description. So now let’s jump into what would Leo do. That’s where you guys write

in situations you want my hot take on and my advice on. You want to see what I

would do in your situation or how I would handle it. So our first situation

is basically this girl is dating a guy and the guy bought another girl’s Only

Fans and she’s like should I be upset over it. But the plot thickens bitch

because the boyfriend bought a girl’s Only Fans that he used to work with and

used to like be friends with. That to me is a motherfucking problem. You’re

basically giving money to a bitch that you want to fuck. Why are you trying to

pay to go look at someone naked? Only Fans is a very sticky situation and a

very sticky topic for me because if I’m dating somebody and you’re buying

someone’s Only Fans I’m not cool with it. One. But if you buy someone’s Only Fans

that you know that’s like half fucking cheating. It’s not cheating but like my

brain takes it the same way. Like I look at that as disrespectful as fuck and

that’s weird to me and I would not be okay with it. So do not feel bad and do

not second-guess if you shouldn’t be okay with it. Some people would be okay

with it. I’m not one of them and if you’re not comfortable with it you’re

not fucking wrong for it because that’s very weird. That’s very strange. It’s like

getting nudes from someone when you’re in a relationship. You’re just paying for

them. What the fuck is that? That’s so disrespectful to the person you’re with.

Don’t force yourself to try and be cool with that shit if you’re not. Don’t let

him try and talk you out of how you’re feeling. If you don’t like it you don’t

fucking like it and you don’t have to like it. So oh my god that shit pisses me

off. So I have your back. Don’t second-guess that and don’t let him try

and make you out like you’re crazy or you’re toxic. Okay so be it then. So be it.

Okay so situation number two for what would Leo do is this girl’s boyfriend is

liking a lot of girls pictures on Instagram and a lot of people deal with

this shit when their partner is like following a bunch of girls and like

liking a bunch of their pictures and it pisses them off. So what I would do in

this situation is kind of fucking manipulative but not really. Like I would

try to understand why he does it. Like I would go to him and ask like not with

like a pissy like attitude of like why the fuck do you keep doing this shit. I

would just try to understand what he gets out of it. Like what do you get out

of following all these girls and liking their pictures. I would also voice it if

it bothers you. Like once you understand why he does it you’ll have a better

understanding of it sure. But if it still bothers you after that I would say that.

But I really don’t understand that whole like incessant need that men have to

like like people’s shit. I don’t I don’t get it. I cannot relate to that. I don’t

fucking understand. But if he doesn’t stop here’s where I’m gonna hit you with

what would Leo fucking do. If you say that you don’t like him following a

bunch of girls and liking all their pictures and he doesn’t stop and he just

keeps doing it. Okay stop saying you don’t like it. Stop complaining and then

start doing the same shit to him. Go follow guys. Go like guys pictures. See

how he fucking likes it. It takes certain people experiencing a perspective to

understand it. So he’s not gonna understand why you feel the way that you

do until he’s in it. So if the motherfucker won’t cut it out then you

fucking do it right back. But if you don’t want to play that petty fucking

game make it a big enough deal where like he understands that you feel it’s

disrespectful and you don’t fucking like it. You can play that route and go the

right route and like explain that it’s a big deal or to do the same shit back. I

would personally do the same shit back if you’re gonna pretend like you don’t

get it. Actually if I wouldn’t be with someone that didn’t fucking get it like

but if you’re gonna pretend like you don’t get it I’m gonna do the same shit

back to you. Because you’re gonna learn one way or another. If me explaining it

to you and how I feel is not enough for you to take it into consideration I’m

gonna do the shit to you. So you have no choice. You see how it feels. Feels like

shit. Okay so our last situation is this girl has a problem with her boyfriend

talking to other girls when they’re out. Like she says he’s very like outgoing

and friendly and talks to everybody and it’s just like a little social fucking

butterfly. But she feels jealous when he talks to other girls at the bar. Like

even if it’s just a conversation she feels jealous. So what I would do is look

at in the situation with him you know how he behaves with other people, normal

people, friends and you know how he behaves with you. So look at the way that

he’s interacting with this girl at the bar. Is he treating her like he treats

everybody else when he’s just friendly? Or is there a certain element of like

being flirty with it? So just check the situation. Like is he being consistent

with how he is with everyone? Or is he acting a specific way to this certain

girl? Because the feeling of jealousy coming up is totally fucking normal. But

a way to reassure yourself is look at if he’s acting the same with everybody

else. And if he’s not and it seems like it’s something specific to the girl

that’s when you can get concerned and bring it to his attention. But if you can

see that the way he’s interacting with this girl at the bar or these people or

whoever is the same that he interacts with a lot of other people. You can give

yourself that reassurance that there’s not a real threat to worry about. Your

fucking little spidey senses are always gonna be up. You’re always gonna be aware.

But if you can see that he’s not giving a girl any special treatment just

because he’s interested. Like he treats all of his friends and everybody he

talks to like that. You’ll be able to give yourself that peace of mind and the

reassurance that there’s nothing actually deeper going on. But you fully

are allowed to stand up for yourself. If something does get a little too flirty

for you. You can straight up just say I don’t like this. And everybody knows

what’s going on. That’s a good way to like defuse the situation without making

it like a fight or a big fucking deal. But if the girl walks away you can just

look at him and be like I didn’t like that. And it’s not causing a fight.

You’re not being difficult. You’re not being a fucking cunt. You’re not being

rude. You’re not out of pocket. Just saying I didn’t like that. He knows what

he fucking did. He knows it made you uncomfortable. Like there’s a certain way

to gauge this and run this situation. But the first thing is reassure yourself. Is

he acting any different way? Is he flirting? Is he being extra? Or is he

just being friendly like he usually is? And then the way to handle it is like I

don’t like that or I didn’t like that. Like when the girl’s there I don’t

fucking like that. That’s some shit I would say. And then it’s like everybody’s

now aware that I’m uncomfortable with it so how are they gonna act? Are they

gonna understand that I feel uncomfortable and stop doing it? Because

if you keep fucking doing it then it’s disrespectful. You know I’m not cool with

it and you keep doing it. Now somebody’s getting hit. Hmm maybe not promote that.

That’s my situation. I probably won’t hit you. Who I am now? I’ll just dog cuss you

the fuck out. I’m not gonna hit you. Like violence is my last resort. But old me

would have slapped the fuck out of somebody. But that’s all I got for what

would Leo do this week. If you want your situation to be part of a future episode

there’s a link in the description where you can send in your submission of your

situation. Like whatever you’re dealing with and whatever you want my advice on

my hot take on. It’s completely anonymous so don’t stress about that. But like I

said if you enjoyed this video make sure to share it with someone. Like post it to

your story on Instagram. Because like I love when you guys post to your story

because then I get to post it. Also the link to my private Facebook group will

be in the description. Just click the link and join it. And if you want to get

a copy of my accountability worksheets. Like the little worksheets I make myself

to stay productive and consistent and disciplined and motivated and all that.

And how I like break down my tasks and what I need to do. And make it easy. Like

my diet plan and all that. Like how I diet very easily. If you want copies of

any of those worksheets about how I like get myself in check. I’ll also link those

in the description. You can download them. And finally if you want to download my

app Positive Focus. It’s an app that sends you positive notifications

throughout the day. Like just positive little messages that are gonna like

guide your attention into like a more positive direction. And like flip you out

of whatever negative shit that you’re in. So the link for that will also be in the

description. It’s available for iPhones and Androids. But that’s all I got for

this episode. Please leave it a thumbs up if you liked it. And like I said before

leave me a five-star rating. Please. But thank you guys so much for watching and

I will talk to you next Sunday.