Aware & Aggravated - 55. Outgrowing Friends & How To Handle It

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Hi friends, so shit looks different once again because I moved. It’s the same desk. It’s the same mic

It’s the same everything same me just a new apartment

And if it echoes, I’m so sorry this bitch is big

no, really, I’ve been busting my fucking ass since I moved to Houston and I wanted to upgrade my place and

I can do a full episode about

Like why I moved how I moved the whole situation because the way that it lined up was some crazy-ass shit

So I definitely want to talk about it eventually, but I’m just gonna shut the fuck up for now and go into

Navigating outgrowing people and outgrowing friends cuz that’s something I was not prepared for

When I started my little self-growth self-development journey, like really just getting my fucking life in check starting a business doing my shit

I lost a lot of people and people came and went a lot. It’s because I outgrew shit very fast

So I’m gonna talk about a few situations where you can outgrow people like reef reframe it in your mind for you

We’re gonna do like the perspective shifts first. I’m gonna talk about situations and I’m gonna tell you how to navigate them

I’m also gonna tell you how to know you’ve outgrown someone like what to look for like the main indicator that you’ve outgrown someone and

Then I’m also gonna talk about checking you like I’m gonna check you because a lot of people

Need to be more considerate with their friends cuz like when you outgrow someone a lot of people just kind of like go on their

New path and do their own thing and forget about the friend like you need to be fucking considerate

You need to communicate so I’m gonna teach you how to navigate that and I’m also gonna talk about

Dealing with friends having negative reactions to you doing new shit or like anything like that like outgrowing people

They feel it too and they’re gonna have a negative reaction

So I’m gonna teach you how to navigate all of this shit

but the first thing I want to say it’s a kick this bitch off is

outgrowing people is

Totally normal. It’s an expected thing

Throughout your entire fucking life

It is totally okay to outgrow people and feel like you have outgrown people because the reality is

you have when you meet someone who you were when you met them at that point in time is

Not who you have to be forever. You’re gonna change. You’re gonna develop you’re gonna grow

You’re gonna have new perspectives new experiences new outlooks on life

Your personality is gonna change your desires are gonna change and the people you meet at one point

Might not be

compatible with the new things that you desire or the new person that you are whether you make a mindset shift and you just see

The fucking world completely different you’re immediately gonna like detach and no longer resonate with the people in your life

It’s very painful and it’s very fucking weird and people don’t talk about it. So here I am

So I want to throw out a new perspective really quick about

Outgrowing people so think back to like high school or college or work like having a job

When you have friends in these environments, it’s because you’re forced to be around each other like the friends I had in high school

I always called it like school friends

Like I have friends that I’m friends with at school, but I’m not hanging out with you outside of school

but my whole point with this is like school work college, whatever it is if you are

Like forced to be around someone, of course, you’re gonna feel like you have a friendship

You’re gonna feel like you’re close to this person

But when that thing ends you quit the job you finish school and you’re no longer forced to be around these people

It’s gonna take a lot of effort to remain friends

And that’s the one thing a lot of people don’t realize and I had this whole thing kind of happened when I was in nursing

School like my best friend Heather

She was like older than me. She had like two kids

She has three now, but we were so tight in nursing school

Like we were like it was me her and my friend Brittany and we were like the little trio like everybody knew us together

But like me and Heather were so fucking tight and through nursing school

We were like spent time together all the time. We text every day like we were doing the same thing

We were working toward the same goal. So we were very involved in each other’s life very close

Once school ended we were no longer forced to be around each other and then you have to look at am I actually

Compatible with this person outside of what we were forced to be around each other for like she’s a grown woman with children

I was 21 when I graduated what the fuck business. Did we have been friends? We’re still tight like we still talk

Occasionally like we’ll check in on each other

We’re not involved in each other’s life often, but I still care about her very much like I still cherish the memories

We have I still cherish that entire time in my life, but we’re not involved in each other’s life heavily anymore

We kind of like we literally just went on our own life and they’re not compatible like we went in our own direction

And it sucks and it’s sad

But it doesn’t mean you’re like not friends anymore or you’ve outgrown them or anything

It’s like you’re just different like once that thing that’s gluing you together goes away. You’re gonna have to assess

Are we actually compatible? That’s just a whole perspective. I wanted to throw at you around

Friendship because a lot of people aren’t really aware of that. That’s not really much about outgrowing people

But that’s just one situation where it’s okay to leave people behind. It’s okay to close that chapter

of your life and

someone can go from like in your day-to-day life to not in your life barely at all and you text and you talk on the

Phone every once in a while a couple months, whatever like if she ever called me and needed me, I’m there

We still have that loyalty and that like love for each other. I

Fucking cherish her. She’s like the sweetest heart I’ve ever met

But we don’t have compatible lives one the age thing to now the distance

It’s like there’s so many things that have happened like we weren’t compatible like to be bestie booze

But when we had that thing, we were working toward together. It was easy to be bestie booze. You feel me?

So that’s just something I want to throw out

Alright, so let’s really talk about outgrowing people like for real. So as you have new goals or new desires

you’re gonna have to completely change the way you’re living your life and if you’re friends with someone and

You’re living a certain way and then you have a desire for a new thing or you set a new goal

You’re gonna have to completely change everything about your life

And I’m gonna give you my personal example of when I started my business and when I started my app positive focus



Fucked me up

Psychologically many reasons but I went from having so many friends and such a big social life

to none like I’ve I had a big period of my life where I was isolated heavily and then I

Started like I was in a really really bad spot like mentally and what I was dealing with in life

Like I had a lot of shit going on that I couldn’t manage at the time

I learned how to manage it eventually, but while I was going through it

I was rolling every fucking weekend like just partying my life away drinking non-stop

Just trying to escape my fucking feelings in my reality and the people I bonded with the people were like my party friends

Were people I saw all the time. I saw them frequently because we were all running from shit

We were all trying to escape our reality

We were all just trying to like feel better and not feel for a second

So when I had the idea to start my app, it required me to change everything about my life. Like I had to stop

partying stop drinking stop drug and stop everything because it’s very

Expensive to do that shit and I needed to save as much money as possible to put it into my app because my app was

Like $25,000 from start to finish to get everything done and I’m gonna make a podcast episode eventually about everything

I wish I knew about business

Before I started my businesses because I can save you a lot of fucking money and a lot of fucking time and headache and heartbreak

I’ll talk about my biggest heartbreak with like business, too

But when I decided to invest in my app, I was like I need to save as much as possible

I was not like rolling in fucking dough

I literally was like very budgeted very tight

But I was spending any money I had on like

Partying and escaping my fucking life because I didn’t want to fucking live it

so my new goal of creating this app and starting this business I had to completely change who I was and how I was

Living and I stopped partying. I stopped going out to eat literally didn’t go out to eat for like four months

Stop doing fucking anything and any free time

I had was spent working on the app having it developed thinking about things meetings

Conferences all this fucking shit. Like it’s I thought there was so much more that went into an app and I made it so

Fucking difficult for myself, but it’s good because it did kind of like save me from like the lifestyle I was in

But I had to change everything and what bonded me to people I had to stop doing

I was no longer in these places hanging around with these people because what I wanted was over here. It was not over here

This is where all my friends were. So for me to go in this direction

of course, we’re gonna split and I look at that as outgrowing people because



But the moment that I split and went after my goals

I went from having all these friends to having nothing and like no one around me and the worst part of it was

The reason I felt so alone with it is because these people did not understand my goals and what I was trying to do

They didn’t understand my discipline

They didn’t understand how much I had to invest and what it was gonna take for me to build what I wanted to build

They just didn’t get it. Like their brain was not thinking in that direction. They couldn’t fathom the idea

They just they never tried to like throw around ideas and shit and never act on it never do anything

Like when I have an idea I act on it and when I say I’m gonna act on it

I’m already five steps into it before I tell anybody but basically they just didn’t understand

What I was doing and why I was changing my life so much and why I was choosing to do the things that I was

Choosing to do instead of hanging out with them and party with them. Like they just saw oh, we’re having fun

We’re friends. We’re so close. We’re tight. We have fun every weekend, whatever

but the weekend leads into Thursday plus Friday plus Saturday and then we’ll go to brunch on fucking Sunday and then

It’s like a little Sunday fun day

It gets a four fucking day party week

Like I can’t do that and build a business at the same time

Like I’m sure you could but it was not gonna be up to my standard of excellence for myself

So I quit all that shit. So these friends that I have

Genuinely did not understand what I was doing and I couldn’t expect them to like I didn’t know if it was gonna work

I was just taking a fucking like shot in the dark and I was kind of faced at a crossroads

It felt like where I had to choose

going for my goal and starting my business starting my app and like doing all my shit over here or go down this road of

these friends and this partying lifestyle that I know was empty and

Was just an escape like I was there was never anything good gonna come from it

and that is one of the biggest moments that you know, you’ve outgrown someone is when you feel like you have to sacrifice your goals or

Hold yourself back in order to have them in your life when you feel like that

You’ve outgrown them. It’s time to take some space

Leave them the fuck be allow them to do their thing

You silently go fucking do your shit and you shut up and you fucking stay on track

Don’t hold yourself back for nobody

But that’s one of the biggest ways I found to know you’ve outgrown someone is when I feel like it’s my goals or my friendship

With you and to spend time with you is gonna hold me back from what I want

That’s how you know, it’s time to do some sorting out and add some distance

But all of that is just like a mindset growth like there’s no actual like growth that’s happened yet

When you have the idea and you start going in your new direction


another way to know that you’ve truly outgrown someone is

After I went down this road of like doing my business for six months and like not going out to eat not doing shit

Isolating myself not partying barely seeing these fucking people. I was so different mentally and

When I met this group of people we were all right here. We were all buddy-buddy

We were on the same level the same page. We thought the same we were dealing with the same shit and

Six months time had passed. I had grown I had educated myself. I had been doing other shit. I completely changed my identity

I completely changed the way that I was living. I was on a different level now and

When I went back one night to hang out with everyone and like go out and just party

I was like, I just fucking grinded for like six months

I want to go relax and fucking have some goddamn shots and like party my ass off

I went back to hang out with these people. I saw the disconnect like I felt it. I no longer resonated with it

I no longer understood

Them and the way they were looking at shit

Like I had like broken out of that perspective and that mindset and like climbed a flight of fucking stairs

I just felt like such a disconnect from them and that’s gonna happen when you feel such a drastic disconnect

With people that you used to hang out with and the new you that’s another big sign

You’ve outgrown them like it’s not a shady fucking thing. It’s not mean it’s not rude

It’s just you have different goals. You have different priorities

I just want to say you’re fully allowed to do this like you’re allowed to outgrow people

You’re allowed to outgrow friends don’t have guilt for it

like I know I repeating myself because I said it’s in the beginning, but

That’s just what I wish someone would have told me is it’s okay to grow

Even if it hurts people and let me elaborate a little bit about me saying that like it’s okay to grow even if it hurts


Because when you start leveling up and you start growing like when I went back and I was hanging out with these friends again after

Not seeing them for a long time

Like I went and leveled up and changed and then I went back and hung out with them

I wasn’t interested in the shit. They were talking about. I wasn’t interested in the shit that they were doing. I didn’t see them as like

Cool people like I once did I didn’t respect them. I had no

I didn’t give a fuck to be around them and people can feel that people can literally sense it like people

you know when someone doesn’t give a fuck about what you’re saying and you know when someone is just like

Like indifferent toward you so

Once you’ve grown and leveled up if you try and keep forcing yourself to be around people

It’s gonna kind of drive a wedge between you because they’re gonna feel it. They’re gonna feel the shift

They’re gonna feel that you’ve lost interest. You don’t respect them. You don’t care about them

That’s what they’re gonna think like it’s just it’s not a good feeling when there’s no

Verbalization of it because they’re not gonna get it

It’s just like your behavior and your attitude is just gonna change and they’re left to wonder what switch

It’s like if someone just all of a sudden change how they were acting toward you

You’d be like what the fuck you might get insecure. You might get worried about it, but also

It’s not nice to yourself to force yourself to go hang out with people and be around people that

You don’t want to be around

Like if you don’t have anything in common with someone if you don’t

Genuinely enjoy their company if you’re just doing it out of like guilt or pity because you feel bad

Like ah, like I have to fucking go be around this friend

Even though they drain the fuck out of me if people drain you and you constantly force yourself to go be around them

That’s the opposite of a self-loving behavior

I’m gonna say that but you could do whatever you want because some situations you have to granted like you there are certain situations

Where like it is warranted you do need to like go be around certain people even if they feel like they’re draining you

But to choose it just to not hurt the other person

You’re hurting them with your presence because you’re treating them different without realizing it

So that makes sense

Like I want to set you free from if you’re scared to cut off a certain person or spend less time with a certain person

you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t because

You’re like putting yourself at war with yourself and you’re treating them different without realizing like you’re gonna hurt them one way or another

So do what’s best for both of you because no one likes to be around someone that looks at them

Like they don’t give a fuck what they have to say

like I wouldn’t want to be around someone that didn’t feel like was interested in me or cared about what I had to say and

like wanted to be in my company and

You shouldn’t force yourself to be around someone and waste your time with someone you don’t want to be around it might feel bad

To cut it

But it’s the best situation for both of you to do that and there are gonna be situations where you start

seeing the world different and you start like butting heads with people and having fights and shit and if you notice that

You don’t see things the same as a friend anymore

Like y’all are arguing a lot or you’re just not seeing eye-to-eye about shit and you just keep bickering

You can agree to just take some space like okay, don’t get mad. Don’t freak out. Just be like we’re not seeing eye-to-eye

Maybe we just need to take some time and like go do our own thing for a minute and then we can readdress this later

But like I know you’re tired of the fighting and I know you’re tired of the constant disagreements in the bickering

But I think what’s best is just for us to take a minute and like go our separate ways get a breather and it’s not

Because I don’t care about you. I don’t love you

like we’re both do we both just need to like respect each other agree to disagree for a minute and then

Part and just see what happens like I’m not cutting you off because I’m mad at you

It’s just it’s both. It’s stressing both of us out and it’s fucking up both of our happiness. So let’s just agree to

Kind of do our own thing for a minute. That’s a good way to go about that situation

Okay, so the next situation is kind of how to navigate all this like wrapped up in one because it’s easy to

deal with outgrowing people who are kind of like just party friends or

superficial friends that you don’t really connect with or you’re not very very close to

When you have someone you’re very close to and you outgrow them. That is a motherfucking disaster

Oh my god for many reasons that I’m gonna unpack it all

So I’m gonna give you example from my life and then tell you kind of what happened

But I had a friend basically who I used to just talk shit with like we would just vent

We would literally just sit down for hours and just bitch and whine and complain about our life and how things were so fucked up

and how people were so fucked up and we would just complain and it was like my venting friend and I was going through a

lot of shit that woke me up and

The more I like got perspective and the more I grew and became aware

The more I realized motherfucker, you’re responsible for your life

Like yeah, these circumstances might have been shitty

But look at how you contributed and look at how you reacted and how you handled it

You have a part to play too. You’re not just this fucking victim, you know

I’ve never played the role of the victim


like I did a little like I was so like

Giving my power away and not like grabbing life by its fucking nuts and making it what the fuck I want to make it

I decided to do that

I decided to stop making excuses and stop bullshitting and just take everything for what it was

Except this is what it is. This is what’s happened. Now. What am I gonna do? That’s my biggest thing

Okay, all this happened

What am I gonna do now and it puts you back in your place of power and then you can decide what to do

It brings you back to the moment. You’re not dwelling on the past of what could have put different

What wasn’t your control what fucked you over what wasn’t fair?

What fuck all that get in the place of presence and the power you have right now by saying?

Okay, what now what am I gonna do now and make your fucking decision to keep moving forward?

There’s a time to reflect but it’s not fucking that fast. It’s not like all the time

You don’t need to fucking reflect all the goddamn time. You don’t need to sit around and vent and complain and whine

It’s a waste of time

so I had this giant mental shift and

I looked at complaining as a waste of time because what I wanted to do was act I wanted to change my fucking life

and change shit, so I had this giant mental shift and

The person that I was friends with did not so I switched my entire outlook on life and the way that I behaved

Again like the other situation was starting the business, but it was just like an internal shift

So just the way that I would have conversations the way that I would perceive the world and look at things

No longer matched with this person. I used to vent with so when this person wanted to vent I got fucking annoyed

I felt like I was wasting my time. I didn’t want to hear that fucking shit

All I saw was excuses and I no longer accepted excuses from myself

So I did have like a judgmental attitude of this person

I’m like just shut the fuck up. Like why are you sitting here whining about it?

Let’s brainstorm some ways to fix it or help the situation. Like what can we do now?

What can we say, you know, like let’s fucking fix the shit or shut the fuck up and let’s just move forward

You know

Like I had this giant shift and it completely like I handled it so wrong and I was trying to explain to this friend

Like the new realizations I had the new perspective shifts that I had what I was gonna start doing how I was looking at situations

And it just wasn’t working. It was like we were butting heads and every time they would talk

I no longer agreed with some of the shit that they said I’m like, that’s closed-minded as fuck

Like you don’t get it and that’s not the fucking way to go about it

But that was a giant situation where I outgrew someone and it was very painful because this person I was very close with and I

had a lot of guilt because I felt like mentally I was leaving them behind and then physically I

Stopped doing the same shit. Like I was no longer just sitting on the couch venting with them anymore

I was up working doing shit and like changing my life. So I stopped spending so much time with them and

I felt really bad for it because I left them mentally

They were still locked in that perspective and I unlocked it and got out like I’m in a whole new perspective a whole new reality

mentally and then I was in a whole new life like I was living a physical life that was so different and I did leave

them behind and

Whenever they would talk to me

I was looking at them like just judging them because I’m like you don’t fucking get it and you’re making fucking excuses

But you can’t

Shake someone you can’t rip someone’s eyes open

You can’t make people see shit if you try to explain it and you feel yourself getting frustrated

Stop stop bucket explaining people are so resistant to seeing certain things. You can’t wake them the fuck up

do not feel bad if

you have to split or like go separate ways, but this person started to feel like I was fighting them and I was against them and

They genuinely felt left behind and a lot of people

Especially if they have a negative reaction

Toward you like if you have this new goal

It is new thing you’re working on or working toward if someone has a negative reaction to it. They feel left behind

They feel discarded

They feel like you’re too good for them now, and that’s one thing a lot of people will say is

Oh, you think you’re too good for everybody now, bitch

You’re just insecure not once that I fucking say anything like that

you know people are gonna have their own insecurities people are gonna see you leveling up and changing your life and doing shit that they

wish they could do and

when they see you living a whole different perspective and just feeling different, they’re gonna get jealous and

They’re gonna feel more hopeless because you just left them where they were where you used to be

They just saw you get out. So of course they feel left behind they feel abandoned

That’s gonna fuck with anybody like there’s a lot more that goes on deeper without growing people and why they have such

strange and like

Sometimes intense reactions. There’s so much more going on there than just Oh algorithm. They’re just better

They don’t want to see me do good. No, they’re dealing with their own shit

You don’t know what they’re feeling that you just doing good reflects them

You don’t know what they’re feeling inside and most of the times their reaction is based off of what they’re feeling

It’s not about what you’re doing

But a lot of people are like I’m trying to do better for myself and you’re being negative

You’re ruining the experience

That’s where I’m gonna check you


Because you need to understand the situation and the reality of what you’re doing to this friend

when you outgrow them the way that I did it with my friend that I used to vent with and the way that I

used to just like

Judge them and I was kind of like harsh and mean that was not the fucking way to go about it

Like you have to wake up to the fact of like you are leaving this person

Mentally or physically like whatever it is. This person’s gonna feel abandoned this purse

It’s gonna fuck with anybody to have that happen

Imagine somebody outgrew you and just went on with their life and you saw them doing so good without you

That’s gonna make you feel like fucking dog shit. So don’t attack the people

That you feel like you’re outgrowing set boundaries with them

If you’re gonna try and keep them in your life set boundaries with them of like, okay, this is time

I’m dedicating to this every day if I’m not as like

Attentive and like hanging out with you as much this is why I’m doing XYZ like explain just give an explanation of

What you’re doing and why you’re not spending time with them so much and this is the biggest part where I’m saying

I’m gonna check everybody and teach you how to be a good fucking friend because I learned by fucking this up

so if you have your priorities change or your outlook change or

Anything that you want to change about your life and start doing different

Fucking communicate it to the person if you’re close with someone and you feel like you’re outgrowing them

I don’t care if it’s a friend parent

Anybody if you feel like you’re outgrowing them

you need to communicate that things have shifted inside of you and what you plan to do different and give them the fucking

Reassurance that they have not done anything wrong

You have to explain that there is simply just a difference of compatibility

Like what you want to do and give explanation that you’re gonna do it

It’s not up for discussion if you are or aren’t gonna pursue your goals. You’re fucking doing it

okay, so one way I go about this now is

if I notice that I’m gonna start doing a lot of shit different and it’s gonna make me have to stop spending so much time

With someone or certain people I give them a heads up

I’m like, hey, just letting you know if I seem distant in the future or like soon

I want to give you the assurance that it’s not anything to do with you. I just have these couple of projects

I’m working on so I’m gonna be very busy. Like I’m gonna be very very

Focused and driven. That’s where all my time is gonna be. I don’t want you to think you’ve done anything wrong

I don’t want you to think I’m mad at you

I just want to let you know

Like this is what’s about to happen

make it about your new goal and give them the peace of mind that you’re not just abandoning them and just

Pulling back and the big thing I said about I want to give you the reassurance that I’m not mad at you

I want you to promise them be like my silence does not mean I’m mad at you

So if you don’t hear from me for a couple days or whatever like it just means I’m very busy

It doesn’t mean that I’m mad at you

I want to go ahead and set that up and give that to you now that give you that peace of mind if

Anything ever happens where I am upset I will talk to you

But I don’t want you to take my silence as like an attack or make it mean that something is like you’ve done something wrong

Or something’s gone wrong. I want you to have like peace that I’m gonna like be distracted for a minute and

That will do more than you fucking think it’s really gonna give people a way to like

Learn to live without you like you’re gonna it’s a it’s a way to kind of drift apart

Without going to someone and being like look, I don’t want to be friends with you no more

You can totally do that

If you feel like that’s what’s necessary if you feel like someone is holding you back set boundaries around what you’re doing and

push them out or

You can just go go about it and just say hey, I don’t wanna be friends no more

I’m gonna go do my shit you do your shit. Bye, but I do recommend giving explanation because

imagine your friend all of a sudden just

Starts being busy all the time and they start

Doing other things with other people and all their attention is on other shit

And you just they don’t have any interest in checking in on you. They don’t ask to hang out

They don’t like do anything. Imagine your friend did that to you. You would start second-guessing fucking everything

You’d be in your head. You’d be insecure. You’d be worried. Are they mad at me? Do they not like me anymore?

It doesn’t feel good for someone to just pull away from you

So that’s what I’m saying

If you’re if you’re noticing you’re growing and you can see that the people closest to you

You’re not gonna be around them as much and it’s like you’re growing apart or you’re outgrowing them

Give them some kind of heads up that it’s not about them

That is the greatest gift you can give someone is like the mental clarity and reassurance that there’s nothing wrong with them

Because insecure people will find everything wrong with them if you just leave them and I’m someone that that’s happened to and

They’ll like you just save them from taking that fucking knife and sticking it in themselves just

Give them the reassurance that it’s not about them

It’s about you your new goals and what you’re gonna be doing and just give them that fucking peace of mind

Be like I still love you. I still care about you

I can’t wait to catch up and tell you about everything

But I just want to give you a heads up if I seem a little more distant

That’s what it is. If you want to check in on me check in on me

I’d love to talk if I don’t text you first all the time

Please don’t get offended. Like I’m just really really busy and my focus is like in a hundred different directions. Just give explanation about

What’s gonna be happening and what you’re noticing don’t go to someone and say I’ve outgrown you

Okay, don’t be a fucking dick

But with that the biggest thing is just give people the reassurance that nothing’s gone wrong

Okay, even if you’re like looking at them

Like I know I’ve fucking outgrown you just give them that because they can’t help it if they’re not growing too

now if they’re giving you shit and they’re like berating you and being fucking mean tell them and eat a dick and

Fucking do your thing

but if they’re not just be considerate and understand if people are having a negative reaction to you doing other shit and

Spending your time different places. It’s not personal. They’re not mad at you. Like I said, they feel left behind. They feel insecure

They’re worried. They’re concerned. They think you don’t like them anymore. No one can deal with those feelings easily

They fucking hurt everybody they would hurt the fuck out of me what I react on them

No, I’m just very controlled but a lot of people aren’t so just understand that if you are outgrowing people and people are like

Attacking you it’s not about you might be I don’t fucking know your situation

I just want to let you in on the perspective of the other person and kind of like what’s going on because I wasn’t aware

Of any of this and so I started fucking up friendships. I never fucked nothing up that bad

Okay, I was just a little like inconsiderate like I didn’t understand the proper way to navigate it

So this is what I’ve learned about it. And if you want to like peacefully just go separate ways with someone

This is the way to fucking do it

like if you just go from talking to someone all the time being close every day spending time together to

Cutting it and like not wanting to be around them. That’s gonna be difficult

And they’re gonna definitely think something’s fucking wrong and it’s kind of like hard for both of you

so if you wanted to just grow separately start getting busy start having other shit to do and

It will peacefully just allow more distance between you and they’ll learn how to deal with the distance like as it grows

Versus if you just split it like it’s not gonna feel as like it’s such a hole in their life

They’re not gonna look at you like you’ve abandoned them

It’s like you’ve just grown apart

Gracefully and they’ve gotten used to

the distance becoming more and more and more if that makes sense like you’re teaching them how to live without you and

to fill in the new spots of like what they want to do and

People they want to hang out with like it gives them a chance to like

Gracefully do it if you want to stay on good terms with somebody

But like I said if they’re being mean tell them to eat shit and fucking get on your way

But I do want to give you reassurance. You’re not a piece of shit. You’re not a fuck-up. You’re not mean

You’re not an asshole for growing like being committed to growth

Will hurt those around you as you grow you’re going to reflect to people what they are not

You’re gonna achieve things that they’ve convinced themselves. They can’t and when they see you do it

It’s gonna trigger a lot of shit in them and they might fucking attack you for it

But as you grow prepare for every relationship in your life to be impacted by it

Unless someone is literally committed with you side-by-side to growth me and my sister are both committed to growth

but we’ve both had periods where

We can’t grow together

We can’t be in each other’s life and grow like we’ve had like falling out fucking fights

We’re on two different pages and we just need to take space take time

But every time we go take space grow on our own when we come back together

It’s tighter than before it’s the same thing with my mom all the times we’ve had our like breaks and like come back together

we come back stronger and

As you’re trying to grow it’s like if two plants are trying too hard to grow like next

These are the little fucking leaves are gonna get tangled

It’s gonna get all fucked up like you need to go get your space in your garden to go fucking blossom as big as you

Want to get and as wide as you want to be get your fucking leaves everywhere

but like if you’re trying to grow with someone it can get like rocky and weird and also

If you’re with someone who is committed to growth, they’ll understand

They’re gonna get it

They’re gonna understand like the shifts in yourself and the way that you change your fucking life around all of a sudden

They’re gonna get it

So when you’re friends with people who are committed to growth are gonna understand and make the process easier for you

They’ll be more in touch and more aware of what’s going on with themselves. So they’re not gonna attack you

That’s the best thing I can fucking recommend is like get people who are with it

And if you’re looking for friends my facebook community everybody in there is with it mentally

Like that’s where we all fucking go to talk shit and hang out and like give each other advice

But having people around you that are also committed to their own growth are gonna understand

Sometimes it goes apart and then you’ll come back together or sometimes it just grows apart and you grow in separate directions

And that’s okay. So be it and they’re gonna support you even though it’s sad

Even though it’s like heartbreaking to grow apart from someone they’re gonna get it

But people that aren’t committed to growth people that aren’t really aware

Are not gonna get it. They’re gonna have a lot harder time

Like having you grow like they’re just it’s gonna be a lot of emotions and a lot of shit fucking everything up

But I don’t want to talk too much about that. I do want to give you reassurance that

You do not need support

To do what you want to do. You do not need support from others to grow. You don’t fucking need anyone

Let me make that very clear

Support is nice to have but you are not dependent on it. You are not crippled by it

You do not need support. You do not need people in your corner

I didn’t have people in my corner at certain periods and I still fucking did it

You do not have to have that while it does feel good to have it

It feels good to have your family support you. It feels good to have your friends support you

You can have no one and still get the fuck done

It’s gonna suck but that’s not a requirement and so many people get so caught up and like when they start growing

And people don’t get it or they don’t support their journey. They like hold themselves back from it

I’m, like don’t you fucking dare do that to yourself?

You fucking grow through it because on the other side of that is people who are

Also on the other side of that that have grown and who fucking get it like don’t be afraid to be alone

Because when you go be by yourself and you transform

And you completely change yourself mentally and like you change the way you behave and live and identify

Who you’re gonna be a match to after that is those same fucking people. You’re not gonna be isolated for long

You’re going to energetically be a match to new fucking people

But like once you level yourself up, that’s now the level you radiate at

You’re disconnecting from all these people because you’re no longer a fucking match to them

You can’t experience them in your reality

If you’re not a fucking match like shit’s just gonna start fading out shit’s just gonna disappear

You’re gonna stop thinking of them stop hearing of them. That’s how it’s gonna go

You might feel alone until you meet people who are also on this level

You will feel more connected than ever you’re gonna feel understood and supported and cared about like

Just trust me. Just goddamn trust me because when I was going through all the shit with my business

And like changing my whole life with that like the friends that I lost

When I isolated myself and I transformed myself

I was a match to new friends who I connected with even fucking deeper and then I kept growing and that group of friends

I’m still very close to but we don’t talk that often. We’re not that involved in each other’s life because I moved to texas


I isolated

Transformed and now the people i’m friends with in texas

I don’t know how to explain it like it’s even deeper connections than before. It’s like every time you isolate and you level up

You’re gonna be a match to new people on that same level and it’s just gonna keep happening over and over

And it’s sad every time you outgrow people

But you do get used to the natural progression of people coming in and out of your life

Like growth is normal. It is normal to progress and to grow

So you’re gonna grow with people you’re gonna grow out of people it’s just how it’s gonna fucking go

That’s normal and you’re gonna feel to the emotions. You’re gonna be fine, but do not ever hold yourself the fuck back



Trust no one

They’re not worth it

No one’s worth holding yourself back for unless it’s a child unless you have a child

Your life comes second and we’ve talked about that once you bring a child into this world. They’re your number one

But we’re not i’m not gonna go too much into that. I’m very opinionated about it

But i’m gonna shut the fuck up and leave it there

All of my links will be in the description if you want to download my app positive focus

It’ll be there the link to join my private facebook community will be there

Working with me one-on-one everything’s linked down below

So go check it out. Follow me on instagram

And if you’re listening to the audio version of this podcast, leave me a five stars

Or 10 that’s just what I held up. So five stars

I’m doing a hand on five if you’re not watching the video if you’re watching the video leave me a thumbs up

Thank you so much

And leave me a comment and let me know what you thought of this

Thank you so much for listening to me rant and hanging out with me

I hope you learned something from

All the shit that I shared because that took me a long time to

Learn and mentally accept that’s it I guess so i’ll talk to you guys next sunday