Aware & Aggravated - 63. Cures For Gym Anxiety

🎁Amazon Prime 💗The Drop 📖Kindle Unlimited 🎧Audible Plus 🎵Amazon Music Unlimited 🌿iHerb 💰Binance

Hi friends, so this week we’re talking about gym anxiety and I’m gonna tell you

all my tips and tricks and I’m gonna give you a couple mindset shifts and

perspectives to take on so that you feel less anxious at the gym because I

remember what it’s like to be new and I struggle with it for so fucking long.

So the way that I actually started getting into fitness was I was 14 and I was a

fat little shit like I was just a little porky and I was too embarrassed and like

shy to go to a gym so I begged my dad to buy me the little workout program that

you do at home called P90X. It’s not the best thing there is but it’s what

got me started. So for like six months I just did P90X at home and just worked

out from my fucking living room. I’d put on my little CD and fucking do what they

did on the TV. Like I had some weights and I just did my shit. After a while of

doing that, after getting comfortable with my body and the way that I looked

and after getting comfortable with doing certain exercises and getting the form

right, then I felt comfortable enough to go to a gym. But there’s so much anxiety

around that shit like it just seems like such a big task to do and I’m gonna

tell you all the things that have helped me. So the way I kind of have this

episode laid out is we’re gonna talk about all my like general confidence

tips like just random shit you need to know and like shift in your mind so you

feel more confident and then I’m gonna go through what to do if you’re a

beginner. So like my main steps that I would tell someone that’s a beginner

like newbie to the gym and newbie to working out, I’m gonna give you like a

rundown for that. But I’m gonna hit like the applicable things to everybody at

the beginning and then we’ll get to the beginners. But everything for the

beginners is also applicable to every Joe Schmo. So let’s just jump into this

shit because I have a lot to say. So the first thing that’s like a general tip

and kind of like thing you need to realize about going to the gym is the

gym is the expected place for you to go to work on your body and to want to

improve yourself. Like that is very much the obvious place to go to do that. So

you’re not out of place if you want to go to a gym to look better. That’s the

expected place to go. When you’re sick, you go to a doctor. When you want your

hair done, you go to hair salon. When you want your nails done, you go to nail

salon. It’s the expected place to go for the thing that you want to achieve. So I

just want to set that right in your mind first. You’re not out of place. You’re in

the correct place you need to be. Okay so I’m gonna walk you through what I do to

feel confident like I was been going to the gym. So first things fucking first. I

pick a good-ass song to walk into the gym to. I’ll be putting on my headphones

and I put on a good-ass song. Something that’s gonna make me feel like fuck

everything, fuck everybody. And my go-to song is Carlton by Suicide Boys. That

song literally helps me tap into the side of me that’s so fucking confident

and don’t give a shit about any single person on earth. So that’s tip one is

pick a good-ass song to walk into the gym to. And it’s nice to have some kind

of like auditory distraction while you’re walking in the gym and I love a

good song. But sometimes I have to like put on something very intense and

sometimes I have to put on something that’s like a good beat to get me going.

You know just pick your fucking mood because sometimes I be walking into

Lana Del Rey ready to fucking cry. But the first thing I do when I get to the

gym is I beeline straight for the treadmill. And the reason I do that is

because when you’re walking in somewhere and you know where you’re going first, it

gives you a second to like debrief. So I’ll walk my ass straight to the

treadmill, straight to the cardio section and go get on a treadmill. And I will get

on the treadmill for like 10 minutes and warm up and just walk. But when you’re

walking into the gym or walking into any kind of establishment you already have

that like hit of anxiety. It’s like when you were in school and you were walking

to class. It’s like if you were the one that was late to class everyone’s

fucking looking at you. That’s how it feels to walk in the gym sometimes. So

having somewhere to go and just walking straight to the treadmill and getting on

it allows me to kind of like decompress from like the like what is it called

like social anxiety trip of like oh the fuck. So I’ll literally just go get on

the treadmill and then I people watch for 10 minutes. Like I warm up for 10

minutes. I pick a good song. I get in the right headspace. I feel safe for a second

because I’m not like on display like walking through the gym anymore. I’m at

my treadmill. I’m able to like and then I just people watch and I’ll see who’s on

what. I’ll see what’s busy. I’ll think what am I gonna do first in the gym. Like

what is my workouts gonna be. A lot of people will go in with a game plan and

have their workout already laid out for them. Good for you. I don’t like to do

that. I figure out what the fuck I want to do when I get there. I’ve been doing

this long enough I can do that. But going in with a game plan of what you’re gonna

do helps. But just knowing that I’m walking straight in and to the treadmill

gives me a second to kind of like debrief. When you walk into the gym with

no set place you’re gonna walk to first you have this like panic and kind of

anxiety of like walking in and you’re looking for a machine to get on and

you’re like you’re a little anxious. Like some people have it really bad and some

people don’t. It gets better with time. But having a dedicated place you know

you’re walking to first that’s not gonna be taken. Like if you have a certain

machine in mind motherfuckers will always be on it as soon as you decide it

in your mind it’s gonna be taken. So I always go to the treadmill. But walking

into the gym and just looking for a machine to jump on you’re not giving

yourself time to decompress from like the stress you’re feeling. You’re just

trying to jump on a machine and you’re gonna be like like anxious and like

nervous. So give yourself a second. Walk on the treadmill. Get on a fucking

elliptical. Get on a Stairmaster. Who gives a shit? Ten minutes to get your

body warmed up is good because a lot of people just run right in the gym and

start lifting and if you don’t warm your body up properly you can get injured.

Like it’s a higher likelihood for injury. So that’s why I do that. But it’s like

there’s so many reasons that I fucking get on the treadmill first. But the main

thing is like debrief, people watch, and decompress. And as you get your blood

pumping with cardio or with anything your body’s gonna start releasing

endorphins so you’re gonna start feeling better. That’s just a given. That’s

guaranteed. So on the days where you’re like oh fuck it I don’t want to go to the

fucking gym or you’re walking in the gym and you’re real anxious and you’re like

oh my god I just want to leave. As soon as you get your blood flowing all that’s

gonna kind of go away and you’re gonna start feeling good. Just get your fucking

heart rate up. Get your blood pumping and it’s just gonna take care of itself for

the most part. The next thing I want to say is around like your mindset. You

don’t stick out as bad as you think you do. Like I’m six foot seven. When I walk

into a fucking room people look. I’m always on display. I’ve always been on

display my whole fucking life. It’s just how it fucking goes. But you look a lot

more normal than you think. It took me a while to realize when people are looking

at me it’s not because like something’s wrong or like they’re looking at me to

judge me. I’m this giant fucking mammoth like walking into a room. I’m gonna pull

people’s attention. You know when a motherfucker’s head almost hits the door

frame it’s like what the fuck? Like who’s this? So I get that feeling very

well. I deal with it every single day of my life. I always feel like I’m on display.

But what I want to reassure people who are like normal sized or even people

that are my size is you don’t stick out. If you’re walking into the gym and you

have on normal gym clothes or a hoodie and sweatpants you fit in. As long as

you’re not wearing like high heels to the gym or a fucking tutu people are not

looking at you because you stick out. Like some douchebags in the gym

literally wear sunglasses like please. But I want to reassure you you don’t

look fucking weird. You look very much normal. And I want you to literally think

about observing yourself walking to the gym. If you saw yourself walk in the gym

do you look out of place? No. Do you look weird? Like I said no. You’re not in a

fucking tutu. If you’re dressed for the occasion you look fine. Just walk your

ass in and start working out. If you literally deduce what working is down

you’re going to play on a couple little machines and do some movements. Not that

big of a deal. It’s actually like a funny little activity. Like we all just go to

the gym and like pick things up and put them down. That’s fucking funny. But with

your outfit I am gonna say put effort into what you’re wearing if you’re an

anxious person or if you have any kind of nervousness around going to the gym.

Not because you want to dress for anybody. Like if you’re a girl put on

fucking makeup if you want to. Put effort into your appearance. Put effort

into your outfit. Because it’s going to give you a feeling of boosted

confidence. When you feel on. When you feel like you took a second to like make

sure you look good before you left the house. Like motherfuckers that just like

wake up and throw on anything they see and then take off to the gym. Couldn’t be

me. I don’t know how they fucking do it. It’s not a God complex confidence. It’s

just delusion. Like you’re so not aware that you’re able to just do that. Like I

used to look at people that didn’t care about their appearance like oh they just

don’t give a fuck and they’re truly confident. No girl they’re just unaware.

But your appearance is a big part of things and if you want to be taken

serious and if you want to feel good look good. Like that’s just something you

can do to contribute to you feeling more comfortable. So fucking do it. Don’t let

nobody make you feel bad if you want to go put makeup on before you go to the

gym. Eat a fucking dick. Literally just cut this clip and send it to them. Or

play it to them. Eat a fucking dick bitch. If you want to wear makeup wear fucking

makeup. It’s not for anybody. It’s for yourself to give yourself that feeling

of confidence and like you’ve prepared. The more you prepare for something and

the more you get ready the more confident you will feel. So apply that to

your outfit and apply that to your looks and your appearance. So when you walk

into the gym you’re not sitting here already anxious about going to the gym

and also like oh my god I don’t look right I feel weird. Like that goes away.

It just alleviates a certain amount of stress from it. So fucking put some

effort into your appearance. Wear something cute. And with that there are

some days where I just do not give a fuck and I don’t want to be seen. I feel

like not good. So I’ll literally just throw on a hoodie and sweatpants and

hide basically. Like if I’m not gonna like show off my body or like show parts

of me I’m just gonna completely cover myself to fuck up. I’m just this fucking

shadow. This black shadow because I only wear black. I’m like I’m just here to

lift and work out. You don’t need to see what’s under here. Like it just makes you

feel hidden and it makes you feel good. Like if you’re having a day where you

don’t feel good just cover yourself the fuck up and go. And with covering

yourself up one thing I do to like boost my confidence because if you just go in

with like some oversized shit you might feel a little like insecure. So something

that I do is I wear tight clothes underneath my baggy shit. So if I’m

wearing a hoodie I’m wearing a wife beater underneath because feeling the

tight like clothing on my skin reminds me that like we ain’t fat. We little

snatched. But having on tight clothes underneath baggy clothes will allow you

to feel hidden but also feel confident that you’re not like some fat lazy like

slob. Like I feel like just a bag of fucking skin if I just have loose clothes

on. Like I like to be a little bit of a hooah. I like to have some shit out. So

when I’m gonna hide all my skin I still want to feel tight and like good. I don’t

want to just walk around in like oversized shit. You know like wear

something underneath like I said for the way that you feel. It will make you feel

better. And if you get to a point in the gym where you’re feeling your goddamn

stuff you can take your hoodie off and show what you’ve been working on. You

know? So the next thing I want to say is about people looking at you. People are

not as concerned with what you’re doing than you think. And I’m gonna give you

like the perfect explanation of this. Think about when you’re at the gym. When

I’m at the gym I’m literally so focused in my own world like trying to count my

reps, count my sets, think of what I’m gonna do next, and then think of what

song I’m gonna put on for my next set. Like I’m playing on my phone. I’m picking

my song. I’m like doing all these fucking things. And also with lifting

heavy weight you have to get yourself in a certain mindset to do it. So if people

look fucking mean or if people are looking at you like bad they’re probably

in their own head trying to get their self ready to lift. That’s what I have to

fucking do. Like I have to think about some real fucked up shit to get ready to

push some weight. So I walk around with an eat shit look on my fucking face. Am I

mad at anybody? No. Am I judging anybody? No. I’m trying to get my head right so I

can do this fucking set. So I don’t want you to look around the gym and think

that people are just like mean and mean mugging you and being rude to you. It’s

not personal. You don’t know what the fuck they’re trying to do to execute

their workout. But do you think that me trying to fucking count my reps, count my

sets, pick a song, and then get myself mentally in the headspace to lift the

weight I’m about to lift. Do you think I have time to also think about what Betty

Bop is doing in the fucking corner? No. If you look normal my attention is not

on you. Now if some motherfucker is over on the cable swinging from him like

fucking Batman or someone like slams their weight really loud I’m not gonna

notice. Like if I do see Batman swinging on the fucking cables I’m literally just

gonna be like look over me like okay and go back to my shit because I have to

stay focused for what I’m about to do. So I just wanted to give you that

perspective because a lot of the times you’re gonna think everybody’s looking

at you. Everybody is so invested up their own ass at the gym and you have to

be to be able to have a good workout. Sorry like that’s just the way it goes.

I love you but not everybody’s worried about you. We’re all worried about our

own ass. Also with people looking at you you get to assume what it means when you

see someone looking at you. So someone can just be looking at you. That is a

neutral behavior for someone to glance over and look at you. That’s neutral. What

makes it positive or negative is the meaning you assign to it. So if you

assume oh they’re looking at me to make fun of me you’re gonna feel like it’s a

negative stare. If you look at it like oh they’re admiring me it’s gonna feel like

a positive stare. You get to assign the meaning for when people look at you. So

observe yourself and the meanings you assign to it when you get nervous that

people are looking at you. People might be looking at you to admire you in the

way you walk or like you maybe you have good lips or like good hair and they’re

just like whoa shit. Maybe you carry yourself really well and they’re looking

at that. Maybe you’re on a machine that they need and they’re just like looking

over and checking to see when you’re gonna be done. Also people could be

making fun of you in their own head. That’s a possibility with people looking

at you. But there are so many other possibilities of why someone is looking

at you at the gym than just to make fun of you. So if you only assign like oh

they’re making fun of me they’re looking at me because I’m doing something wrong

or they’re judging me. If that’s the only meaning that you cling to the gym is

going to be a terrible fucking experience. So start noticing what you’re

assuming when you see someone look at you and then entertain other

possibilities. Are they actually looking at me to make fun of me? Do they like my

shoes? I have cool shoes on. Are they looking at my shoes because they like my

shoes? Are they looking at me because I’m cute? Are they looking at me because I’m

ugly? What is it? You get to assign any meaning you want to it. And kind of

piggybacking off that, if you’re scared of people judging you, every single person

in the gym, I don’t care how good they look, started from the bottom. Everybody

looked like a wet fucking noodle when they first started at the gym. Every

single one of us has looked like shit at some point. But anyone that’s in the gym

knows what it’s like to come from the bottom and build up. So a lot of people

have felt the exact same way that you have. A lot of people have felt anxious

when they were small going to the gym and they were looking up at the big guys.

Everybody’s had that moment. So I want you to remember that. I don’t care how

big, tough, and scary someone looks at the gym. Just think of who they were when

they were little. Like if you look at a big muscular dude, just think

what he was when he was the wet little fucking noodle when he first started. And

it will immediately like take him off this pedestal that you put him on

because he’s muscular now. He’s still a human. He’s still had that experience. He’s

still started from the bottom. People look at me and probably get stressed out.

Motherfucker, I used to look like shit. I used to be fat as fuck. And then I used

to be a twig, like skinny. Girl, it took me a while to get here. And I know exactly

what it’s like to be on the other end of it. And everyone does. Everyone knows

what it’s like to go into the gym and be anxious and be nervous because you’re

new and not know what the fuck to do and not know if your form looks right. I want

you to just remind yourself, they’ve been at the bottom too. They’ve been where I

was. Some people get out of touch with that. And some people act like fucking

assholes. But then again, you don’t know why someone is acting so like big for

their britches. Maybe they’re anxious too. Maybe that’s their little coping

mechanism for being anxious. Like you shut down when you’re anxious. Other

people might get overly boastful because they can’t even hold space for the

insecurity or it will cripple them. So they have to just swing to blind

delusion of confidence of I’m the best thing in the fucking world. My shit

don’t stink. A lot of people have to take on that attitude. Like frat boys will do

a couple push-ups and get a couple muscles and they’re the fucking biggest

dude in the world over here fucking five foot eight. People have to live in

their own delusion. Everybody’s just trying to accomplish their goals and

everybody has to go about it in the way that works for them. So even if someone

is a fucking asshole, you get to assign the meaning. Are they being an asshole to

me? Are they being an asshole because they’re a fucking asshole? Because I look

like a fucking dick at the gym. I look like a raging dickhead at the gym. I have

the meanest look on my face. But my typical coping mechanism when I get

anxious or worried or I’m dealing with a lot mentally is my face just goes

fucking mad and I just like shut down and I go through the movements. I look

like a motherfucker in the gym. Like I look so just annoyed unhappy to be there

but I’m having to do what I have to do to get through it. Like my friend Daniel

literally text me the other day because he saw me walking through the gym and I

didn’t say hi to him. I didn’t see him but he literally text me and was like

yo what’s wrong? Like I didn’t want to say hi to you. You looked like pissed off

and I was like no I’m just like dealing with a lot. Like my whole clothing launch

launched last week and that’s what happened. Like I was just so anxious and

so many things were going on inside me. My outside just checked out and I just

like got laser focused and he thought I was pissed off and I was like no I’m

fine. I’m just stressed. So you don’t know why someone looks mean. You don’t know

why someone looks mad. You don’t know why someone looks annoyed. It might just be

their own little thing and whenever I see someone at the gym I always make it

an effort to smile or be nice and whenever I’m at the gym, like it

happened today, I always watch out for people while they’re lifting. I look like

a mean motherfucker. I look unapproachable. I don’t like when people

fuck with me while I’m working out. If you recognize me and you see me come to

me between a set and I don’t mind. But when people see me at the gym they don’t

know like my heart. You would have no clue that I care as much as I do about

every single person that walks this earth. So I’m always watching out for

everybody and this guy was benching a couple benches down from me and all his

friends were like talking shit and like kicking in the corner and he like was

trying to bench and he couldn’t get the weight up. Like he like had to drop it on

his chest and he was like looking at his friends like help me and I walked over

and I got it off of him and his friends were all like oh shit thanks. Like people

are looking out for you. People are not looking at you to judge you because you’d

look at me and think that I was just some annoyed motherfucker who’s like too

big for his britches. But really I’m just trying to get focused and get my

head right but I’m still looking out for everybody and I didn’t say anything to

the guy. I literally just pulled it off of him smiled and then went back to my

shit. Like it’s not a big thing but I want you to realize people are not as

hateful as you think. People are not as judgmental as you think. People might be

looking out for you because I always am. I don’t care if it’s the newbie or the

biggest guy in the gym. I look out for everybody because everybody needs help.

Everybody gets anxious. Everybody feels the same things and that’s where I want

to say stop assuming people are not human also. Every single person in the

gym feels that same gym anxiety. You would look at me and think I don’t. I do.

Every single person you see, I don’t care how good they look. I don’t care how big

they are. Every single person feels that same anxiety that you feel. The only

difference between you and us is we’ve tolerated it. We can deal with it and

continue moving through the motions and continue moving toward our goals. All of

us feel it. So you get to choose what you’re gonna do. You can still function

if you’re anxious. You can still function if you’re fearful. So you get to decide

okay I’m anxious. All of us are. Don’t single yourself out and convince

yourself you’re the only one that’s scared of the gym and that gets anxious

and that gets nervous. I’ve been going since I’m fucking 16. I’m 24 now. I still

get anxious. I’ve learned to deal with it. I have so many ways of making myself

feel better and these are the things that I’m sharing but you’re not

different from anyone. We all share that. So I want you to kind of take motivation

and inspiration from that. Look around and understand every single person

around you is a human being. We all feel the same shit and you’re not alone in

the way that you feel. If you just watch certain people, you can tell that they’re

anxious. Some people can’t hide it well. They’ll fidget or they’ll do

something. Just look around and start observing people’s body language and

you’ll see that so many more people are anxious and their body shows it and make

an effort to smile at them. Make an effort to make them feel comfortable

because that’s what you want and it’s gonna make you feel more comfortable if

you smile at somebody and they smile back. It’s like boom now you immediately

feel like a sense of like okay we got each other. Like we’re nice. It’s like a

friendly environment now. Motherfucker just walk around and just like smile at

people. You don’t have to like full like teeth smile. You can just like smile.

Throw a little smirk around and people will reciprocate it and it just kind of

like breaks down that energy of the gym. Like if you think everybody’s

judgmental and everybody’s mean, start cracking smiles. Just like half smile at

people when you walk by them or like do a little straight bro like what’s up and

see how many people reciprocate and are nice to you. Everybody knows what it’s

like. Like I said to start at the bottom and to be anxious. Everybody in the gym

wants comfort. Everybody in the gym is feeling the same shit. So I just really

wanted to get that across but you’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not a

bitch. Everybody feels it. Okay this next section of my notes I titled it Get Real

because this is where I’m gonna hit you with some tough love because you need to

fucking hear it. I have to tell myself this all the time. Are you really going

to back down from this because you’re a little anxious or you’re a little scared

or people might be looking at you? Are you really gonna back down? Are you

really going to let the judgment of other people stop you? Get fucking real.

Even if people are looking at you when you’re at the gym, so what? And what about

it? My catchphrase bitch and what about it? Even if I do look fucking stupid when

I’m doing a certain exercise, so what? So fucking what? It’s not gonna stop me from

doing it because I want to look a certain way. I’m doing what I need to do

to look the way I want to look. What the fuck do I care what you have to say or

what you think? Keep it to your goddamn self. And if people are sitting here

judging you, give it time because your efforts are going to show the results. So

people might look at you like oh they look fucking stupid and then a year

later you pop out looking ten times better than them. Yeah who looks stupid

now? Pretzel. That’s why you all twisted and skinny and looking fucked up. I don’t

want to hear it. If you’re going to the gym, you need to understand you’re not

there for other people. You’re there for yourself. Like I said, you’re going to do

a couple of movements. You’re gonna go lift some shit up and put it down

because you want to look a certain way. And lifting that weight will help you

look that way. So go in and execute on what you know you need to do to hit the

desired outcome for the way that you want to look. Fuck everybody else.

Literally act like you’re in your own world. I’d be going to the gym with my

whole ass tripod and camera. You think I give a fuck? No. I used to get anxious

about it. Now? No. What are you gonna fucking say? Please try and say some

shit. Please. Let’s argue while I’m on camera because y’all have always seen me

talk about shit and talk shit. Y’all ain’t live in action got to see me dog

cuss somebody the fuck out and I’m so excited for it to happen because a lot

of people talk a big game on social media. I’m with the shit bitch and a lot

of you know that. That’s why nobody tries me in real life. But what? What the

fuck is somebody gonna say for me recording myself? That’s why I get

millions of views on TikTok and you don’t bitch. Shut the fuck up. Shut up.

That’s why I look better than you. And what? And what? Literally it’s like when

I started my social media. People were looking at me and judging me like I was

fucking stupid. And two years later look where the fuck I’m at now. 1.2 million

followers. Look who looks stupid now. You just didn’t know what I was doing. You

didn’t understand what I was doing to get to the goal that I had and that’s

okay. People don’t have to understand and that should not stop you. They don’t have

to fucking get it. The only person that has to get it is you. The only person who

has to execute is you. The only person that’s gonna ever achieve your desires

is you. So if it doesn’t make sense to others so fucking be it. Like when I do

lap pulldowns I do a certain exercise where like I’m I do like normal lap

pulls and then to hit a certain area of your back I lean back like this. Or I lay

I literally like lay flat like this and then I’ll like pull the bar because it

hits a different area of your back. And people look at me all the time like I’m

fucking crazy. I don’t give a fuck. Who has a big back? Me. I literally saw

Dallas McCarver do that exercise. He’s like a triple set or whatever the

fuck it was with like three different movements with like leaning and shit. And

he looks huge. I think he was like an Olympian or something. But homeboy looks

good. Looked ten times better than me. So of course I’m gonna take his fucking

advice. Why would I not? I’m trying to look like that. But people do not have to

get what you’re doing. Even if you look a goddamn goof. Even if you look a mess. Who

cares? Literally who cares? They don’t have to get it. The only person that has

to get it is me and you. And I get it. I get all of it. And one more thing with

that is people who are experienced in the gym understand what certain

movements do. So the only people who are actually judging me for doing lat pull

downs laying flat are dumb motherfuckers who don’t know what they’re doing. They

don’t actually know how to work out. They just see one way of doing something and

thinks that’s the right way. People that are experienced get what I’m doing. So

the only people who are gonna judge you are fucking uneducated. So I’m gonna

throw that at you too. Okay so now I’m gonna give you a couple of tips if you

have like an anxiety attack or you start panicking and how to walk yourself

through feeling anxious as fuck. Okay this is what’s helped me. The only fucking

thing. But if you start getting worried or you get too in your head and you just

get overwhelmed. You’re like oh my god I just want to fucking leave. Stop moving.

Stand still. And I want you to climb out of your head and kind of like observe

your body and observe what’s going on at the gym. And like look at yourself from a

third person’s view. Ask yourself what is happening? What the fuck’s going on?

Look at yourself like a third person. Okay Leo is standing here getting ready

to do squats. There’s people around doing their exercises. Everyone’s just working

out in the gym. Does Leo look out of place? No. He’s at the expected place to

be doing squats. It’s not like you’re at fucking Walmart doing goddamn squats.

You’re in the gym where you’re supposed to be. You’re in the squat rack. That’s

where you’re supposed to be. Do your goddamn squats. Like if you start getting

anxious just literally start listing off like what is happening. I’m feeling

anxious. I’m standing here in the squat rack and I’m getting ready to do my next

set. But I feel so fucking anxious and I want to leave. Literally speak it to

yourself in your mind what is going on and speak the situation at hand. Like

just say what it is. I’m standing in the gym. I’m standing in the squat rack. Just

fucking like I don’t say verbally but like mentally. Mentally, verbally. Think

these thoughts. Like get situational. Bring it down to earth. What is the

scenario and what is the situation at hand and just start listing it. Because

it will make you realize it’s not a big fucking deal. You’re literally okay. You

are perfectly fine. You are not out of place. You’re doing exactly what you’re

supposed to be doing. You’re feeling all these different things. But if you just

look at it objectively you look normal and you’re doing everything fine. And

then I want you to step in and start comforting yourself. So that’s a skill a

lot of people don’t have. When they have a stimulus or they have something

uncomfortable they just run or they avoid it or they get away from it. Like a

lot of people will get to the gym, get too overwhelmed and then never come back.

Or they’ll leave. Like girl, stand there in the stimulus and learn how to endure

it. Comfort yourself through it. Think of all the perspective shifts I gave you in

this. Put this episode on. I don’t give a fuck. Do what you have to do to stay there.

But do not let yourself fucking just leave because you’re uncomfortable. Girl,

like I said before, get fucking real. And also with comforting yourself. Comfort

yourself. Like things I say to myself is like, Leo, you’re okay. You’ve got this.

You don’t look out of place. You belong. You’re fine. You know how you look. You

don’t look weird. Look at yourself in the mirror. Give yourself the reassurance

right now. Do you look weird? No. Do you know how to squat? Do you have proper

form? Yes. Literally look at yourself. Calm yourself down. Reassure yourself.

Touch your neck. That’s something that I do a lot. Like I’ll either like hold my

own hand or I’ll like touch my hands and I touch my neck because it calms down

your central nervous system when you’re stressed. It’s like a little biological

response. You’re welcome. But I’ll literally touch my neck and she’s like,

Leo, you’re okay. You got this. Nothing’s wrong. You’re feeling anxious. Totally

fine. But the situation at hand is not bigger than you think it is. You’re okay.

You’ve got this. Okay, let’s do it. And then you like coach yourself and comfort

yourself through it. It really just comes down to grabbing yourself by the

fucking nuts, dude. You just gotta grow the fuck up and like grab yourself by

the nuts. Are you gonna live your life running from things that make you feel

anxious? You’ll never do anything. You’ll never get anywhere. And I know that sucks

to hear but like wake the fuck up for a second. Like I’m saying this because I

love you. I’m saying this because this is what I needed to hear. Like me doing P90

X for a year, had I just gone to the gym and lifted for real, I would have

expedited my process. I would have looked ten times better in that six months or

however fucking long I did it. Like the six months that I was doing P90 X, had I

spent that time in the gym, I would have looked ten times better. But oh I was

anxious so I just didn’t. Oh my god if I can go back and just smack the fuck out

of myself, I would. Like wake up kid. You got this. You’re capable of so much more

than you think. You can handle it and it’s not gonna be hard forever. You’re

gonna learn ways to deal with it. You’re gonna learn ways to get through it. It’s

gonna get more comfortable. You just have to sit in it until it does. Don’t run

from it. But if you do get overwhelmed and you do decide to leave, this is where

I’m gonna say you need to fucking choose it. And when I say choose it, this gets

deeper than oh I’m just gonna leave or not leave. This gets to living a

powerless victim fucking mindset and I don’t ever want you to be in that. I want

you to take control of your life and hold that fucking control. So what I want

you to do if you’re gonna leave the gym, put it in your hands. Literally say I can

stay or I can choose to leave. And if you choose to leave, say to yourself I am

choosing to leave period. Do not fucking say I can’t do this. I’m overwhelmed. I’m

scared. Don’t say any of that. I can’t handle it. Do not fucking speak that over

yourself. You are choosing not to handle it. You are choosing not to deal with it.

You are choosing not to rise to the occasion. So if you’re going to do that,

choose it. Become aware it’s a choice and then if you’re still gonna leave, choose

to leave. But don’t speak no limiting shit over yourself. Well I can’t handle

this so I have to leave. You don’t have to leave. I’m choosing to leave because

I’m overstimulated. That is more empowering than I just can’t do it. I

can’t handle it and leaving. You see the difference? So I want you to full

throttle fucking choose that shit. If you’re gonna leave, choose it. Don’t

convince yourself you can’t handle it because you absolutely can. That’s

fucking delusional thinking. And I’m gonna save you from it because that will

do nothing but damage the shit out of yourself, your self-concept, and your

self-trust. Do not speak things like that over yourself. Like I said this comes

from a place of love and something that I wish someone would have told me a long

time ago. Because when you go home and you face the consequences of not working

toward your goals, you get to sit down and remind yourself, well I chose to

leave the gym the last four days. And you’re not gonna be looking at it like,

oh my god I just couldn’t do it. Like I’ll try again tomorrow. Like and then

for four days it’s like, oh you just convinced yourself you couldn’t handle

it. You aren’t strong enough. You chose not to be strong enough. You chose not to

become strong enough. You chose to not find ways to deal with it and continue

forward. But if you keep reminding yourself it’s a choice. So for the last

four days I chose to go home because I was anxious. You’re gonna get fed the

fuck up with yourself because the power’s in your hands. You’re gonna

realize, okay well I’m choosing to fuck up my goals. I’m choosing not to move

forward. I’m choosing not to be consistent. And you’re like, oh damn it

isn’t my control. So I’m gonna choose to go back and I’m gonna choose to stay

there this time. And what’s gonna happen? You’re gonna learn the way through it.

The only way out is through. Remember that? Love you. But basically my whole

little tangent about that is telling yourself you can’t handle it is

validation that you’re weak. You don’t want to validate that about yourself.

It’s basically just you avoiding a situation that will make you stronger. So

don’t do that. Okay so now let’s jump into all the things for beginners because

I have a little list for you guys. So first thing is you’re not expected to be

skilled and look like you know what you’re doing. No one expects you to be

good at lifting. No one expects you to lift heavy. No one expects you to know

what the fuck you’re doing and have like good form. No one is expecting that of

you. You’re new bitch. It’s unreasonable to expect that of yourself. It’s like if

you’ve never swam before. You’re expecting yourself just to jump in the

water and look like a professional swimmer. That’s not fucking realistic. You

have to jump in the water and learn to swim so you don’t drown first. Then you

can work on perfecting your strokes. Then you can work on the form of a

professional swimmer. There are steps to it. You don’t just walk in the gym a

hundred percent confident even though you know don’t know what the fuck you’re

doing and then all of a sudden just know what to do and know how to do everything.

There’s a lot of steps between that. So I just want to say you’re not expected

to be perfect. You’re not expected to be good yet and if you’re not willing to

not be good at something, you will not get good at anything. You have to be

willing to suck and look new to look experienced. Is that the right words? Yeah

that makes sense. So the next thing I want to say for beginners is you’re

gonna be anxious going in the gym and I’m gonna give you an analogy of going

to a fucking coffee shop. Just human behavior. When you’re going into a

building you’ve never been into before or you’ve only been once and you’re not

really oriented with it, you’re gonna be anxious. So like when you go into a new

coffee shop for the first time, every single human being is gonna get anxious.

You don’t know who’s behind the door. You don’t know what’s behind the door. You

don’t know the layout. You don’t know anything. It’s an unknown thing. So every

single human’s body is gonna trigger anxiety. It’s preparing for a threat in

case there is one. So it’s not gonna be that crazy but a lot of people get

crippled by that like feeling of anxiety. But that’s normal babe. You’re walking

into an unknown place for the first time. Of course you’re gonna be a little

anxious. Same thing applies to the gym. But when you walk in a coffee shop, what

the fuck do you do? You walk in and if you just stand there, you look like a

weirdo. You look out of place. You look like what the fuck. People are gonna look

at you if you just walk into a coffee shop and stand there or just play on

your phone. So like people that walk in the gym and just stand there or people

that walk in the gym and just sit there on their phone, people are looking at you

like huh? The expected thing to do when you walk into a coffee shop is to walk

up and get a coffee. That’s what the baristas are expecting you to do. They’re

there to take your order. They’re expecting you to walk in and get a coffee

if you’re at a coffee shop. So the correct behavior to do is to walk up and

get a coffee, stand there and wait for it, get it, and then drink it or go the fuck

outside and go home. That’s the expected thing to do. When you walk

into the gym, to work out is the expected thing to do. When you walk in and the

desk people, the front desk people say hi to you. Hi! Like the expected thing to do

when you go to the gym is to go work out. The expected thing at a coffee shop is

to get a coffee. Go fucking work out. You don’t look weird. You don’t look weird at

all and I want to give you that reassurance. It’s weird to not work

out. So like I said, walking into a new place, you’re gonna be anxious because

you don’t know your way around. You don’t know what it’s like. So with going

to a gym, if you’re gonna sign up at a gym, go tour the gym. Go walk in and get

a tour from like the front desk people. Go tour the gym. See if you like it. See

if you like the vibe. And then before you ever work out at that gym, something I

used to do a lot is if I started at a new gym or started at a gym in general,

I usually started at something that was 24 hours so I could scan a key and go in

whenever I wanted. I would go really late at night like midnight 1 o’clock because

there’s like two or three fucking weirdos that go at that time. But go in

really fucking late one night and go look at the gym. Go find out where

everything is. Go get oriented to the gym. Find out where the bathrooms are, where

the cubbies are, where you can put your shit. Find out where to buy a snack and then

look at all the machines. Figure out where all the machines are. Gyms are

typically set up, there’s like a chest section, back, legs. Figure out where all

the machines are and go play on all of them. Literally go play on all the

fucking machines to get comfortable with using them. Like there’s little

pictures on most machines, just look at them, follow the picture, learn how to

move this seat around, learn how to adjust like everything about the machine

and then play on every single one. So you know where everything’s at one, but two

you know how to use them. So when you go into the gym the next day at a time when

there’s people there, you already know what the gym looks like, you already know

where everything’s at, you already know how to adjust and move all the seats, you

already know how to use everything, you don’t have to go through the fear of

worrying about people looking at you and also not knowing what the fuck you’re

doing. You know what you’re doing and like I said the more you prepare the

more confident you feel. So that’s a really big tip that I have is like just

go play on all the machines and go learn the gym before anyone’s there. Like just

go when it’s really fucking late, go finger fuck everything, go play on

everything and like figure out how to use it and it will make you so much more

comfortable. The more time you spend in that location, the more comfortable you’ll

feel. So go spend time there when there’s less pressure from like a lot of people

being there also. So another tip that I have if you have the money to do it is

hire a personal trainer for a month. Just one month. You don’t need a trainer

forever. Like literally hire a trainer and fucking use them for what they’re

worth. Have them take you to the gym and teach you how to use everything. You’ll

be working out with someone. You’ll learn exercises, you’ll learn forms, you’ll

learn what exercises go together, you’ll learn how to do an arm day, a leg day, a

back day, a chest day. You’ll learn how to do all these days. You’ll learn what

proper sets look like. You’ll learn what proper like amount of exercises are and

you have kind of like a guide with you to help you through it all and people

that will check your form. Like they’re gonna help make sure you don’t look

stupid and that you’re doing things properly. So get a trainer for a month. It

only takes a month to fucking learn everything max. You can learn that shit

in two weeks. Just go consistent with the trainer. Learn as much as you can. Get

comfortable with all of it. Absorb all the knowledge and then go on your

fucking own. It’s not that hard but having the trainer for the first little

bit is really really helpful and it will calm a lot of your anxiety. It will teach

you a lot because you can only learn so much before you start doing it. So like

if you try and look up YouTube videos and look up shit online, sure you’re

learning a lot. You’re consuming a lot. You’re not actually learning how to

execute and do things. So by going with a trainer you’ll be learning by doing. So

you’re gonna learn by working out not by like researching shit. Like you should

research things and learn the things that you want to learn for the things

that you want to achieve. But going with a trainer will help like expedite the

process but also be researching on the back end and like throw some shit in

that you want to do. But with that look up exercises that you want to do at home.

Like look them up before you ever go to the gym and practice them. Literally get

in your bedroom and fucking practice the exercises you want to do. Get in front of

a mirror and practice. If you want to learn how to do squats look up videos

about how to do a squat and then practice the movement in your room. If

you want to do a little kickback, if you want to do a deadlift, whatever you want

to do. Practice just the movement of the exercise that you want to do in your

house where you’re safe alone. You’re allowed to look stupid and not care.

Learn the basic skills of how to execute these movements so that you’re less

anxious when you go to the gym. Like this will help you a ton. Just getting

comfortable with certain movements before you go. Like how I started with P90X.

I learned how to do a lot of movements before I ever stepped foot in the gym. So

when I went to the gym it was a lot easier. And then when you’re at the gym

use the mirrors. Like the mirrors are there for you to look at your fucking

self. Like who gives a fuck if people see you looking at yourself in a mirror. Use

the mirrors to check your form and correct yourself. If something feels off

and it feels weird and you feel like you look awkward, look at yourself in the

mirror. If you look fucking weird, fix what you’re doing. Do something different

and check yourself so that you’re more confident doing the exercises. You don’t

want to just nervously like oh just do something and like knock out the

exercise. Because then it’s gonna be miserable and you’re not gonna want to

do it. Look in the mirror, make sure you look right, change what you need to

change, and then you won’t be as hesitant to do the next few sets. You’ll be

excited. You’ll be like oh hell yeah I got this. I look cute doing this one

actually. And then you’ll like knock out some little tricep extensions. But

literally just use the mirrors to fix yourself. Use the mirrors to check

yourself in your form and to reassure yourself. Okay if I feel like I look

fucking weird, do I? Okay no I don’t. I look fine. I’ll keep doing it. If I do

feel like I look weird and I do look fucking weird because I looked in the

mirror, then change it. Fix it until you feel comfortable. So my next tip for

beginners is go in with a game plan. So if you are gonna go in by yourself, just

go in with kind of like a game plan. Like research and look up online like some

workouts and exercises you can do and like little workout routines. And go in

with a list of exercises that you can do. Practice them before you go in like I

said. And then when you go to the gym, having some sort of game plan will make

you feel better and like guided. So you’ll feel a little bit more supported

because you have something that you’re doing. It’s not like oh I’m just focusing

on like what am I gonna do. It’s already decided for you. You don’t have

to deal with making a decision. It’s like okay I finished this thing. Now I go to

this machine. And then you go to it. Having a little game plan will alleviate

a lot of anxiety and also if you follow someone’s workout plan that looks really

fucking good, you’re gonna feel more confident doing these exercises even if

you look stupid. Because clearly it works. If they’re hot as fuck and they be doing

the shit, here I go I’m gonna be doing shit. But it makes it less about you and

you worrying that other people are judging you because you decided to do

something. And it takes that away and makes it like okay I’m doing the

exercise because this is what so-and-so told me to do online that looks like a

fucking model. Like I’m gonna do that. And it takes the pressure off you kind of.

Because it’s not your decision. It’s theirs. You’re just like doing as you’re

told to look that way. So my last tip for beginners is stick with machines until

you feel confident in the gym and you’re comfortable with everything to go to

like free weight movements. You can still get a really good workout with just

machines. A lot of people do that. But don’t let it stress you out. If going to

do squats or going to use dumbbells or like a barbell is stressful to you, don’t

do it yet. Like I said practice at home. Practice your form. Get comfortable just

being in the gym at first. Go do your machines. Have everything that’s kind of

like there to help you because you can look at the thing and read how to do it.

Literally stick to the machines until you feel more comfortable. And then you

can start branching out and trying other things. But something is better than

nothing. So even if you go to the gym and only do machine exercises, something’s

better than nothing. And I’m fucking proud of you. This was a lot of fucking

gym tips. If these helped you, leave me a comment and let me know. And leave this

video a thumbs up. And if you’re listening to the audio version of this,

leave me five stars. And if you know anybody that also struggles with gym

anxiety or a beginner and they want to start working out, send them this video

if you think it’ll be helpful. But that’s all I got for this episode. I hope you

guys learned a lot. And I hope you got the kick in the ass that you needed. And

I hope some of these perspective shifts will allow you to feel more comfortable.

That was my goal behind all this. All of my social media and everywhere you can

keep up with me will be in the description. If you’re interested in

getting my merch, I just restocked it a couple days ago and we’re already at

like a thousand and seventy orders. It’s like a day and a half. I’m like what the

fuck. So I don’t know when it’s gonna sell out. But the link for that will be

in the description also. So go shop if you want something. And until next week,

get your fucking ass in the gym bitch. You got this. You fucking got this. Just

put this episode on and just listen to it while you’re at the gym. We could be like

little gym friends. I’ll just be in your ear yelling at you. But everybody take

care of yourself. Be safe. And I will talk to you guys next Sunday.