Aware & Aggravated - 64. Why You Aren't Achieving Things (Let's Get Spiritual)

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Hi friends I’m gonna start this episode off real calm and real sweet because I’m

basically gonna tell you why you aren’t achieving shit and I’m gonna attack you

and I’m gonna give you a lot of honest truths that I needed to hear a long time

ago and then I’m gonna tell you how to fix it and how to actually achieve

things so all the little lessons I’ve learned about achieving things and

meeting certain desires and goals here we are I’m gonna give it to you straight

so put on your big girl panties you might shit them but I’m about to throw a

lot of new perspectives at you a lot of truths and then I’m gonna tell you a

couple of ways it’s like my three assessments that I use to kind of check

myself and I’m gonna tell you the three ways you can assess if you’re going to

achieve something and why you’re not achieving it if you aren’t yet so let’s

jump into it and first we’re gonna start talking about desires so if you have a

desire for something you want something you want to achieve something you want

to have something there’s nothing wrong with it desire is not bad and there’s a

lot of reasons a lot of people think having a desire is bad you can’t get

rid of it you can’t not want something that you want so go ahead and accept

that and then what are we gonna do about it so if I can’t not want this

thing how can I manifest it how can I actualize it and we’re gonna break down

the whole manifestation bullshit a little bit in this episode but the main

thing I want to get across about desires is you might be a little discouraged

when you think of something that you want so like a goal for my life has

always been to make a million dollars a month where the fuck am I supposed to

start with that I don’t know how I’m gonna do it I have no clue but the thing

you need to get about desires is you can’t have a desire unless there is a

way to get to it like it’s not some twisted fucked up game of the universe

or God is playing with you whoever you want to believe in like believe who you

need to believe in and use that but you’re not being punished you’re not

like being sent a desire and that you just can’t have it like there’s no joy

that comes out of the universe or God from like you wanting something and then

them holding it from you no one’s holding shit from you and a lot of

people get discouraged and I used to get very discouraged when I would have a

desire for something like oh a million dollars a month that seems ungodly to me

but I could not have this desire unless there was a possibility for it so for me

feeling discouraged is because I don’t see a way to get there yet but there

absolutely is a way to get there there’s so many ways to get there so go ahead

and knock that fucking discouragement right out of your head if you think that

there’s something too big for you you’re just not aware of the way to get there

yet or a way to get there you have to commit to finding that you have to

commit to finding the way to get to what you want and as soon as you do that

shit’s gonna start unfolding but my biggest point here comes grab your

britches you can’t just ask for shit and think it’s gonna happen like this whole

spirituality and all this talk about manifestation use your thoughts and think

things into reality how the fuck good has that worked out for you it probably

fucking hasn’t that’s why you’re frustrated and landed on this video

thinking thoughts and thinking that’s gonna somehow manifest shit in your

physical reality is bullshit it’s not all of it like that’s such a small

fucking like 1% of what it takes to manifest something it doesn’t even

fucking matter it literally doesn’t matter because there’s not much energy

in that the energy is in action and what you’re doing to actualize it before I

get ahead of myself if you have a desire for something do not sit back and ask

God for it or the universe and like declare it and get a crystal and get a

candle and be like oh my god I want this thing okay do it you know how fucking

delusional that is I used to try it I used to fucking try it all the time and

because that’s what everybody preaches all these manifestation motherfuckers

are always preaching this bullshit and I got to a point where I was asking for so

much and none of it was happening I was like fucking what the fuck the universe

would love me like I know I’m gay but God what the fuck but do not sit back

and just ask for shit to happen to you that is throwing all of your power away

and you’re throwing every potential for your life out of your own hands oh I

said I wanted it and now I’m gonna think about it and I’m gonna visualize it and

I’m in the journal and I’m gonna buy crystals and it’s just gonna poof

happen babe it’s not I’m so fucking sorry to say it but that’s not how life works

that’s not how shit goes and to put all of your power into some being that we

don’t even know if it exists or not like the universe or God like who the

fuck knows if it’s even real there is a possibility we’re all full of shit I

prefer to believe in it because goddamn but you’re not here in this life to just

passively live it and to passively manifest things you’re here to actively

manifest things and create things so we got a BFF are for a second be fucking

for real you’re in this life with a functioning body you have a mind that

thinks you have a body that works you think that you were equipped with

something like this to just go into a life and just like ah passively just sit

back and just ask and pray for things you weren’t you were sent in with energy

inside of you and that is creative energy you are allowed to put that into

whatever the fuck you want to put into you can really manifest anything you

want but you have to put your ass behind it you have energy to create so use it

like your little depression your little sadness okay girl cool but are you gonna

do what it takes to do shit like I get there’s so many things that come into it

and come into play and are factors of it but if you have a functioning body you

have no fucking excuse and before somebody tries to come at me be like oh

I am handicapped I don’t have an arm I took care of a patient who was

quadriplegic paralyzed from the neck fucking down could not move his body and

he was a very very successful software engineer when he was born he had full

function like and control over his body he could move he could walk and then he

had an accident happen a situation where he was shot at a gas station in the back

of the neck and it paralyzed him for the rest of his life but that creative

energy does not die you can block it from coming out of you but it does not

go away because this patient of mine went through a lot of shit but he chose

to continue forward and when there’s a will there’s a goddamn way he literally

would sit at his computer with like you know those little like iPad things where

it’s like a pen and you can like touch on it he would have a long stick and a

mouthpiece and it was attached to it so that he could use his computer it was a

touchscreen computer and he would bite the piece I would have to put it into

his mouth and he would like type things on the computer screen he would book

trips for nurses and take them on cruises he would go on trips himself he

would have clients he would fucking coach people he could use his mouth and

talk and he could use his mouth to like poke the letters he needed and like the

things he needed on the computer bitch if that ain’t fucking inspiration for

you to get off your fucking ass and do something I don’t know what is I don’t

know what’s gonna have to knock you upside your fucking head for you to get

up okay and I’m speaking like at myself my old self when I speak so intensely

like this I’m not yelling at you you need to hear it but I’m yelling at my

old self because I convinced myself I was so just like unable to do shit and

then I had that experience where I took care of him and I was like I have zero

fucking excuse my body works I have ten legs up on this I’m so much out of an

advantage who cares if you’re fucking depressed you can still get your ass up

and I was diagnosed as clinically depressed twice chronically chronically

depressed bitch I know what it’s like I know exactly what it’s like and before

you’re trying to attack me literally just listen to the people who have

gotten out of the place you feel so stuck in okay my whole podcast is me

sharing everything that’s got me out of the worst shit of my life and got me

through it and what I’ve learned so just take your little fucking beliefs

and put them aside for a second and try on the shit that I’m telling you and

just watch what changes if you want to fight me and hold on to your beliefs

that hurt you have it you can lead a donkey to water I know the analogy is

like you can lead a horse to water but you being a goddamn donkey you can lead

a donkey to water but you can’t make a fucking drink I can drown you in it but

you’re still not gonna drink it so if you want to have your beliefs that don’t

work for you and that hurt you have them I’m gonna share what the fuck has worked

for me but my whole point with this is you are able to create and manifest so

much more than you even give yourself credit for this man with a body that

does not work is doing more than you he’s figured it the fuck out he’s

committed to it he’s driven he’s doing what it takes like girl oh my god that

is the most inspiring experience I’ve ever had and I had that situation line

up with me when I needed it most they woke me the fuck up but moving on to my

next point stop being such an entitled little shit just cuz you ask for

something doesn’t mean you’re gonna get it you have the full capacity and the

full ability to create something why the fuck would God just give it to you use

your own ass to do it he’s got enough on his plate he got enough people asking

for shit literally put your own ass behind what you want you need to

recognize the power you have recognize the energy you have to put into things

and make it manifest and literally it’s there like it’s in all of us we all have

it you think I just had all this shit happen to me that’s happened to me no

girl I had to create it every single person you see has had to put energy

into everything that they have and do it might look like oh it was just handed to

them a lot of people paint that image a lot of people are fucking suffering and

you have no idea but I’m gonna take it down a notch on the aggressive side

because now I have like some really serious things I want you to get and if

I’m screaming you’re gonna be a little bit on the defense and not as receptive

but instead of trying to passively just like will things into existence and ask

for them and throw all your power away I want you a lot of people do that

because they don’t see that they’re capable or don’t feel capable like

people turn to a higher power when they have absolutely nothing and they feel

incapable and they feel hopeless so I get it but what I want you to start

doing is flipping your focus from how you can’t do something or how you can’t

achieve something and manifest something and start seeing how you can see what

advantages you do have see the ability you do have see what you can put into

actualizing whatever it is that you want and I have a lot of personal examples

and a lot of shit I’m gonna run you through but this is just like my first

little hot take so let’s visit the idea of having a desire like there’s

something that you want whether it’s money fame to look a certain way to like

be muscular or be skinny like whatever your desire is for anything a boyfriend

a girlfriend literally anything you want in this life I want you to start

focusing on the actions you can take to having that happen and to creating that

what the fuck actions can you take that will get you any step closer to what it

is you want so every time you have a desire from now on sit down and make an

action plan what are all of the things that I can do and literally break it

down into daily things make it very real make it something that you work toward

if you want it bad enough consistently and daily like even if you don’t know

the exact actions to take you don’t need to there are certain things that you

know to do that will propel you forward and as you keep going forward you’re

gonna learn more shit so where you are vibrationally when you’re standing at

the beginning you start taking a few steps even if they’re not like the right

steps or the best steps you’re already moving forward you can’t go back so if

you’re already moving forward your perspective from this new standpoint is

gonna be completely different you are a match to new shit that you were not a

match to back here so as you take any step forward you’re a match to new

ideas new experiences and new awareness that will get you closer to what you

want but you have to start walking toward it you have to start doing

anything that you can to start getting in that direction and now we’re gonna

get into my three assessments so the three ways that I assess my actions to

check myself and get myself in line to make sure I’m gonna actualize what it is

that I want assessment number one are you just saying that you want something

or are you actually doing something to get it like look at your life whatever

it is so my example I used to always say I wanted money I wanted financial

freedom I wanted abundance I wanted to just be able to go buy whatever the fuck

I wanted to buy who doesn’t want that right but when I looked back at my life

when I was sitting down and just like saying I want financial freedom when I

assessed my actions what the fuck was I actually doing to get there nothing I was

not doing shit to actually make me more money I was trying certain things here

and there but nothing at the scale I needed to to get to where I wanted to go

like working a job is not abundance that’s a fucking paycheck that’s a

salary that’s gonna help you live what can you do to get out of that what can

you do to surpass that waking up going to the gym going to your job what part

of your day was actually focused on abundance none of it fucking none of it

so you really have to take inventory I was like Leo you’re saying you want this

thing but do your actions match that do your actions match your desire no bitch

if you keep doing what you’re doing you’re never gonna get there so how the

fuck do you expect to get there so after I kind of realized all this and took

inventory of like my life and I was like okay you’re actually not putting your

ass behind anything that you say that you want I started to do that so I

didn’t know where to start with making money and like having financial

abundance so I just started reading about it I started reading everything I

could about money I started researching money the flow of money the energy of

money the transfer of money I started reading as many books as you can fucking

find on money I’ve probably read all of them out there like the psychology of

money I’ve looked up and researched and consumed everything about money that I

knew I could at the time and that brought me so many more perspectives

knowledge and guidance for trying to make it how’d I just sat back and kept

saying Oh universe oh my god I want money I wouldn’t be any closer even just

reading the fucking 20 books that I found I was so much closer and so much

more ahead and I was actually doing something to actualize it and then guess

what happened ideas started visiting me that would make me money I started

trying things I started doing a lot of shit different my whole perspective and

attitude and relationship to money flipped and it completely changed and it

allowed me to start being in circumstances and situations that feel

prepared for them and ready for them and a match to them to make money I also

researched how to manage money and what to do with it like how money is

transferred what you do with it literally I learned everything you could

about it and then like I say in my other podcast episodes like my one about

productivity just because you learn something doesn’t mean shit now you need

to apply it this is where the action step comes in so at the beginning the

action step to get toward my goal was to learn about it okay I learned about it

now what learning about it don’t do shit a lot of people get caught up in the

whole education side like I need to learn more no bitch there comes a point

where you just need to act like there’s nothing left for me to learn about money

I just had to start acting and as soon as I started doing shit sure I failed

sure things fucked up but I started making money and now I’m starting to

make money at a level that I’m like I am financially free so it just stacks on

itself but you need to assess your actions what the fuck are you doing for

it what you don’t get to sit here and just claim that you want money if you’re

not doing jack shit for it and I know people are gonna get pissy like oh

there’s people who are born into it we were you no you can’t deal with the

cards in someone else’s hand you can only deal with the cards that you’ve

been dealt so make the fucking best of it a lot of people don’t have to learn

about money a lot of people are born into it or a lot of people do have

success on their first little venture and they become a fucking billionaire

overnight cool is that your hand of cards no you can sit here and cry and

complain like oh it’s not fair what is that gonna do how is sitting here and

complaining and looking at how shit is not fair going to get you closer to your

goals it’s not shut the fuck up and deal with what your situation is put blinders

on pretend like nothing else exists deal with your personal reality and what you

need to do to get to where you need to go that’s what you need to focus on and

that’s fucking it and I want to harp on that point one more time you don’t have

to know what to do literally take any step and it will just start to unfold

it’s not gonna make sense because then when I look back on my life and my whole

journey a lot of things don’t make sense for when I would go for something that I

wanted it would come in a way that I didn’t expect or certain things would

happen and when I was going through it I was like what the fuck how does this

relate how is this even like what but if you just continue following it down that

path it’s not gonna make sense for the first five steps but once you make 20

steps you’re gonna be able to look back and be like okay those first five now I

get it now they make sense certain things can only be realized in

retrospect you can only realize and understand shit when you look back on it

you’re not gonna get it while you’re in it so just stay focused stay moving

forward keep taking steps even if they don’t really make that much sense just

follow the shit just do it something is better than nothing okay just remember

me saying do not stop and always put your ass behind your words if you say

you want something okay now what am I gonna do for it and then start doing it

okay so assessment number two for your actions is how much you actually doing

like get really real with yourself and look at how much you’re actually doing

toward your goal so when I was reading books on money and all this I was

reading like two to three a week and a lot of people would be like oh I’m

reading a book a month how fast you think that’s gonna fucking come how fast

do you think you’re gonna manifest that shit like get fucking for real like

again BFFR be fucking for real and look at how much you’re actually doing like

when I started my app positive focus and I was trying to get it out there and

gain like awareness of it I was messaging therapists it was like an idea

that I had like Google all the therapists in the United States and

reach out to all the counselors and therapists I could find over email and

let them know about my app because I figured it would help me get awareness

of it and they could recommend it to clients I was okay it’s probably gonna

be like a slow thing but like word-of-mouth it’ll get out so like I

was like my main thing is just awareness of the app I need people to know it

exists so I would take an hour every day when I woke up and I would message 50

therapists and counselors like I would just go on type up an email and copy and

paste it and send it to 50 different fucking people 50 people looking back

now I’m like huh bitch like 50 people a day and you thought you was gonna get

some kind of return off of that please I literally learned this after like a

week I was like okay 50 a day like for real like look at your actions well how

much are you actually doing because you feel like you’re doing a lot I’ve

convinced myself I was doing so much oh my god just 50 people oh my god it’s

just so much work I bumped that shit up to 300 I started doing 300 a day and

then I started seeing results because I wasn’t seeing shit with 50 and I was

frustrated and I’m like convincing myself I’m doing so much work I’m like

doing so many 50 girl half the people ain’t gonna fucking read the shit and

half the people ain’t even gonna see it so like what one out of 50 is gonna say

something about it and you might get a download from that will be shit I

literally had to look at how much I was doing and get real with myself so I

started doing 300 a day and then I got to what I was doing 500 a day and I was

then I was actually like girl I’m tired I’m doing a lot of fucking work then I

felt like I was working and that’s when I started seeing a little bit of return

on it and some more downloads but that’s my biggest thing with assessment

number two how much are you actually doing and can you be doing more and if

you’re okay with only doing 50 a day you also need to sit down and shut the fuck

up and not be like oh my god why is it not happening faster what can you do to

make it happen faster like I said look for what’s in your control look for what

you can do not oh my god universe why is it not happening faster girl you only

listen to 50 fucking emails a day bump that shit up asking the universe for

more is not gonna do anything you need to do things that are going to bring you

more downloads is what I was telling myself like take it out of the fucking

universe’s hands what can I do that shit saved me and it saves me to this day with

everything that I do okay so assessment number three are you contradicting

yourself with your actions so if you say you want something are your actions in

line with it or are they contradicting it and if they’re contradicting it you

need to clear that shit the fuck up quick so like when I used to say oh my

god I want to save money I’d be over here spending a bunch of money where the

fuck does that make logical sense like clearly you have this goal of saving

money but you’re doing things that are countering that it’s like trying to lose

weight if you’re trying to lose weight and you declare I want to lose weight I

have a desire to lose weight I’m fat and then you go eat bad it’s obvious the

disconnect it’s obvious the reason you’re not gonna fucking get there your

actions are what’s fucking you up it’s not that you’re not meditating enough

it’s not that you’re not revisiting childhood trauma correctly that’s why

you are holding on to weight no bitch is as simple as your fucking actions

you’re contradicting your goddamn self no no wonder there’s no progress and my

biggest thing with this is like you really need to take a look at your

actions and what’s holding you back and what you can be doing instead because a

lot of this is in your control you sabotage yourself so much more than you

realize with a lot of things that you do like when I was trying to save money and

I was spending it literally everything was in my control it wasn’t that the

universe hated me and I was just like doomed and fucked up like oh I just

can’t save money yes you can stop spending it or make more

whoa what a crazy idea but I didn’t see it at the time I was just like oh my god

there’s just so many things that keep coming up that I have to buy do we

really have to buy them I understand unexpected expenses that’s valid but

stop buying shit bitch like put your actions in line with what you say that

you want like stop eating if you want to lose weight no not stop eating entirely

but like stop eating bad shit stop eating so much literally how to do that

with myself too like I did all this at once and it was a fucking fever dream

from hell trying to like revamp my life in every aspect but look at me now you

got money and I’m in shape okay so my next point is like a little tidbit I

just want to throw in about sacrifice because I have a bad relationship with

sacrifice and I do not believe in sacrificing things but at the end of the

day you are gonna have to make sacrifices but it is your decision for

how you feel about a certain sacrifice so sacrifices can feel good or they can

feel like shit and the way you look at them is it will make them feel good or

bad so you can negatively sacrifice I’m gonna be like fuck and be like upset

about it and depressed about it and disappointed I just say disappointed and

less about depressed shut up y’all fucking get it or you can feel really

good about a sacrifice and be like I’m glad I did this so one thing that I do

is look at sacrifices like a trade-off so when I wanted to get my life on track

and I really wanted to pursue making money and like being successful I had to

stop doing a lot of the partying I was doing and hanging out with a lot of the

people that I was around so I had to make a trade-off and I was going into a

life where I was alone and not spending money not having fun not going out not

drinking not doing all this shit I was still smoking cigarettes because I’m not

getting rid of everything but I had to make that trade-off and a lot of people

can’t do it a lot of people can’t make the trade-off and they can make it for a

minute and then they can’t stick to it and that’s a lot of people’s fucking

problem but it’s very very difficult to trade something off for something that’s

in the future so for me to trade off all of my current fun and my current

life with all my friends and like drugs and partying and drinking it’s so much

fun for me to trade all that off for the potential of success was very hard but

if you commit to figuring out a way to do it it will happen whether it takes

one year or ten years if you commit to figuring it the fuck out you will do it

but you will never get there if you don’t make that trade-off so even if it

does take ten years you’re gonna do it or not are you willing to sacrifice for

it or not if you’re not that’s totally okay there’s certain sacrifices I’m not

willing to fucking make and if financial freedom and like securing yourself

financially is not something you’re willing to sacrifice your social life

for then don’t you can go after both it will just slow down the progress and

that’s totally okay you’re allowed to set boundaries around what you will

sacrifice that’s totally healthy that’s totally fine I encourage you to so when

you ask the universe for something set a fucking boundary around it make shit

fall into your boundaries like you’re not willing to give certain things up or

you are willing to give certain things up so that’s one thing to get clear on

is what you’re willing to trade off and what you’re not willing to trade off but

my biggest thing with sacrifices is focusing on what I’m choosing because if

you just focus on what you’re losing all the time and what you no longer get to

have it’s gonna feel negative but if you focus on what you’re gaining and what

you’re choosing by making a certain trade-off or sacrifice it’s gonna feel a

lot better you’re not gonna feel like you’re losing things all the time you’re

gonna feel like you’re gaining things and you also have to keep yourself

accountable with what’s in line with your goals so when I was cutting off my

friends and stopped partying and stopped drinking to start working on my

businesses and getting my fucking shit together I was spending money on alcohol

and going out to eat and drugs and all this shit and then when I switched I was

like okay I’m gonna make the trade-off of not eating out not spending money on

shit and just saving the money so that I can invest it into the businesses that

I want to start and the things that I want to try so when I had the money in

my hand I got to make the trade-off of like do I want to go out to eat with it

or do I want to put it in my savings that’s gonna help me actualize my desire

which one do you want to do which option is in line with your goals if you’re

ever confused about which decision to make which action is gonna get me closer

to my goals and then do that one because putting it in my savings got me closer

to where I want it going and blowing it on a fucking bag or stop you can’t just

speak so freely can I am I allowed to go speak freely or not like YouTube

demonetizes me I make nothing off YouTube but like am I allowed to speak

this freely I don’t fucking know girl arrest me I don’t give a shit I’ll still

make my podcast from jail I’ll just have to do it in like a written form so I’ll

like put an article out every week but anyway my whole point with that was just

focus on what you’re choosing and what you’re gaining over what you’re losing

sacrifices do not have to feel bad they can feel really good if you just focus

on what you’re gaining and what you’re getting but what I say what you’re

choosing you are choosing it it’s not like oh I just have to give up on my

friends oh you’re choosing it you can choose to go hang out with them but you

know where that path leads does it get you to where you want to go no okay so

my next little thing I want to hit on is about when shit goes wrong and when

things get difficult and things start fucking up because that’s something that

would stop me a lot in the past like I was like oh my god it’s a sign I should

stop no what you need to do is recommit every time something fucks up or goes

wrong literally reassess the situation if you’ve tried something and it hasn’t

worked how much are you willing to recommit to it the universe is kind of

gonna test you I don’t really know if it’s a test but it’s like everything

that goes wrong and you recommit it’s like the more energy you’re putting into

this thing being manifest so if nothing can stop you from shoving your energy

into it it’s gonna come if you just hurdle every single thing that fucking

comes up and you keep recommitting to it you keep recommitting your energy to it

and it’s gonna fucking manifest but if you have hurdles happen you don’t jump

them and you just stop putting your energy into it you’re never gonna get it

but I have noticed the more that I recommit to things the more things line

up like it’s like I’ll recommit like five or six times and I’m like enough

bitch and then all of a sudden it’s like a streak of things just lining up weird

like the universe is there to help you and will guide you but the universe is

there to co-create you have universal energy inside of you God energy whatever

you want to fucking say like the ability to create is inside of all of us but the

universe at large is going to co-create with you it’s not gonna sit here and

give you anything if you’re just sitting on your ass you chose into this life to

go about manifesting things and through your actions and having that energy and

expressing that and creating the things that you want so do it like the universe

is not gonna fucking do it for you and what I mean by recommit oh my god girl

when I had the desire to make my podcast a video podcast on YouTube and start

filming this every fucking thing you can imagine would go wrong went wrong

every single thing went wrong when I ordered my camera it was an absolute

shitshow absolute shitshow with everything that happened with it my mic

I ordered two pieces of it I didn’t realize you needed like all this other

shit to go with it so I had to like push off like starting to record on YouTube

for a week and that’s what happened in the beginning like the guy you guys

that have been here like since me like transitioning from like audio to video

if you didn’t know episode 1 through 39 of my podcast is just audio it’s on

Apple podcasts and Spotify but all my video episodes like switching and

starting to record it also bro every single thing that went wrong could go

wrong and it did and I recommitted every single time every single time something

went wrong with the microphone I bought more shit with the camera I sent it back

and returned it and exchange it and got the right one cuz like they sent me a

broken one and then the other one wasn’t gonna get here in time before I

still wanted to start filming so I ordered a different one used it for two

weeks and then returned it while the other one was coming that’s why the

video shit looks so different but I made it fucking work I made it happen I had

to keep recommitting I had to fucking buy lighting there was so many things

like my software for my computer learning how to fucking use it a pain in

the ass but I committed to figuring it out when I recorded my first episode I

had a stain on my shirt and I had to rerecord the whole fucking thing the

second episode I did I recorded it all the audio didn’t save had to record it

again I kept having these hurdles happen and I kept recommitting and look at me

now on fucking YouTube and I’ve been doing it consistently but shit’s gonna

come up shit’s gonna go wrong but the more you recommit the more energy you’re

putting into it and the more confident you’ll feel that you will make shit

happen like you snatch the fucking power out of the universe and you find

it in yourself and you’re no longer like oh my god please help it’s like nah Leo

you got this it’s not like I don’t need help I don’t need you to fucking assist

me I’ll do it I don’t care what comes up I’m gonna make it happen that is when

you feel happy and fulfilled and that life is worth living is when you feel

like you fucking control it so that’s the way to get there also with moving to

Houston girl when I tell you everything went wrong about the podcast switching

it every fucking thing went wrong when I moved to Houston but I was committed to

moving here and living here and making it happen I did a whole podcast episode

I did too about all the headache and all the bullshit I was going through they’re

both on the audio version of my podcast but I vented about like everything going

wrong and I kept having to recommit there was no option to opt out I did not

give myself the option of like going back home or not moving here motherfucker

once I decided I wanted it them actions were in line with it and I kept

hurtling everything that came up and I kept recommitting and it’s the best

decision I ever fucking made so if you’re facing something where you’re

like everything’s just going wrong at the beginning maybe it’s a sign maybe

the fuck it’s not maybe you’re not being punished you’re being prepared for what

the fuck you need to go through to be strong enough to handle when you get

this desire because a lot of the things that went wrong when I moved to Houston

prepared me for everything I’ve had to handle and who I’ve had to grow into to

handle all the situations that I’m in now it was all a key part of it you’re

not being punished you’re being prepared but it’s gonna feel like you’re being

punished while you’re going through it like I kept looking up at the universe

like you fucking rat bitch what the fuck is the point I literally am so like I

get it I get why everything has had to happen this way I get that it’s built me

into who I am but when I die when I get to the gates of heaven I’m not saying a

word God put your fucking hands up I’m walking in that bitch and I’m swinging

on site I’m just going to town you motherfucker wanted to sit up there my

whole life and throw shit at me my whole life and just think it was funny I think

there was no consequence for my actions I know it was here to help me but you

punk bitch you’re gonna get my fucking lick back I don’t care if you beat my

ass I’m going to hell anyway cuz I’m gay but I’m gonna throw hands with you bitch

I’m not saying shit when I walk into the gates of heaven I’m just swinging my

soul is so pissed off oh my god like I get it I understand everything that’s

happened I get how it was for me but fuck you for making me go through that

shit you could have found a different way like you just had to make so many

minor inconveniences happened for me like what the fuck every single thing

that I’ve ever tried I’ve always felt is so prevented because the amount of

ironic shit that goes wrong I’ve handled it all and I’ve hurtled it all

but I’m gonna get my fucking lick back bitch watch me live to like 120 years

old cuz God don’t want me to die he’s like I don’t want that one coming up

here but my point behind that little tangent is shit’s gonna feel like you’re

being punished and like it’s going wrong keep hurtling keep recommitting trust me

from someone who’s been there keep recommitting just do it it’s gonna

happen okay so now I want to talk about a couple of little things that you

require action because a lot of people like to get into the delusional thinking

of like oh you can just manifest shit so I’m gonna pop that bubble real quick so

if you want to build muscle you can’t just sit in your bed and just imagine it

and meditate and rub a crystal on your fucking clit and fucking like sit there

and think it into existence you have to go pick up a weight you have to go eat

protein and eat shit that’s gonna rebuild your body you have to go break

down the muscles and then fuel your body to rebuild them bigger that’s how

it goes you cannot get big muscle wise without taking action I don’t care how

long you lay in your fucking bed and visualize it good luck bitch that hold

the secret everybody loves mm-hmm bunch of horse shit there’s so much

miscommunication and things that are not clarified girl the same thing with

growing on social media like when I had the desire to grow on social media you

have to post fucker you have to do shit you can’t just sit here and oh my god I

posted one video hope it blows up for real a lot of people think like that and

I’d like I need to wake you up sure a lot of people can make one video and

blow up like the wizard Liz like that bucking bitch is like a weird case or

she just made one video and it popped off but would she have gotten as big as

she is if she only ever made that one video no can you only bank on that one

video doing well no what can you bank on you can bank on the numbers game of

how many videos you will post so if you only give one video for the universe to

have go viral if you want to play it like that give the universe a thousand

videos to make go viral and see what the fuck happens raise your likelihood raise

your fucking likelihood and put your actions behind it and create it like

literally the ones bound to pop off if you do a thousand if you make one

probability is like this probability is like so itty-bitty like an ant but now

I’m gonna kind of get into things like the podcast that I’m gonna be on I had a

desire that I wanted to go on some big podcasts and like go be a guest cuz I

just I’ve always wanted to do that like go on podcasts and just like share some

shit that I know or like help you guys get to know me like getting interviewed

is different from me being here so you’ll see me in a whole different light

when I go on Drew’s podcast and I’m also going on spin spots I’m actually leaving

tomorrow to go to LA but you’ll be seeing this on Sunday so happy Sunday

but I had a desire to get on bigger podcasts now I can sit here and just

grow my social media and keep posting and just wait for someone to stumble

across my page and maybe ask me to be on their podcast or I can take it the more

active and empowered approach and reach out to people what’s the higher

likelihood bitch what’s actually gonna help me actualize that and manifest that

desire and have those opportunities I’m gonna take the active approach I started

messaging people and it fucking worked like I messaged drew she was like the

first one I messaged and it fucking worked and now I’m gonna be on the

podcast but I had to take the active approach of reaching out you can’t just

sit back and be like universe send me podcasts to be on girly pop get your

fucking fingers moving type you some shit reach out make your own podcast

make a name for yourself that someone would want to have you on their podcast

as a guest and then it will increase the likelihood you see what I’m saying

take the empowered approach with everything stop doing the powerless

shit my last little example I want to give you is like when I created my app I

talk about this a lot but it’s such a good learning experience for everyone

even myself but when I talk about taking actions even though you don’t know what

to do I had an idea to make this app okay so I started researching it to see

if something else existed nothing on like the quality level that I wanted

existed like the quality of the messages coming through those other notification

apps that will send you positive notifications but they’re like little

horse shit like they’re like fucking stupid I wanted things that would

actually make you think and would shift your focus so I was like okay there was

a hole in the market I’ll do it how do you create an app I don’t fucking know I

literally didn’t know so first thing I did was go to a trademark attorney and

have the name trademarked and then I asked him how do I have an app created

and then he guided me to where to start looking for an app developer and then I

had the app developed but there was so many things that went wrong with me

trying to start this fucking app but I do want to say there are gonna be

messages and signs that you are being guided and I don’t know if you believe

in numerology or not but repeating numbers are gonna pop up when you’re

going down the right path and you’re doing something you’re gonna start

seeing synchronicities and things are gonna pop up and it’s like the

universe’s way of communicating with you that you’re supported so a lot of

things were going wrong with me just meeting with this fucking attorney to

even just get to know where I’m supposed to go next but before I went to go see

an attorney I convinced myself I can just be an app developer and for 30 days

I was like trying to learn how to code and create an app and it just was too

much and I couldn’t figure it the fuck out I could have had I kept doing it but

I was just not willing to keep putting in that work I’ll just fucking pay for

someone for it like I was like dealing cars at the time I had some money so I

literally was like okay I want this app out quick I don’t have another fucking

year to sit here and fucking teach myself how to code so I’ll just go pay

someone to do it and then when I met up with the attorney so many things were

going wrong and I was like am I making the right decision is this attorney

gonna be able to help me am I gonna get the name positive focus because I had to

request it like I it was very hard to get that trademarked but when I went to

the attorney I was a little doubtful and I was a little like all right

there’s been too many hurdles already like is this shit even like like goddamn

is it worth it like how many hoops do I have to jump through like I’m not a

fucking circus animal I was one for this app jump through all kind of hoops but

one of the synchronicities that I had happen was the lawyer brought up like

some kind of mock-up paperwork and there was like a screenshot of a certain app

and it was like one of the apps that I had look up to like create the concept

off of and then put my own quotes and like change the design and all that sure

but like the concept I had the attorney I didn’t tell him anything about this he

was like oh I just printed this out in case you wanted it and to like help you

because I really liked the idea behind your app because I had like been on the

phone with them before I went to see him to tell him what the meeting was about

and then when I saw him it was like to draft everything up and like get the

trademark submitted he printed out ideas for me it was the exact same app

that I was like inspired by and on the top of the screenshot on his phone he

screenshotted the like App Store and the time on his phone was 4 4 4 and it was

printed said I still have the paper I don’t know where it’s at but I still

have that paper of the mock-up he printed and he just printed that for me

to have it was like here I want to like help you however I can but that was the

universe’s way of talking to me in that moment because I was second-guessing

shit and I didn’t know if it was worth it but like how do you fucking explain

that you know like you got to watch out for those synchronicities look for

repeating numbers 4 4 4 7 7 7 anything that there is I actually have 7 7 7

tattooed on my foot right here me and my sister have it matching but that little

synchronicity brought me so much comfort in that moment because I was like like

all my questioning went away and I fully was like I’m doing this like I

felt supported to recommit so I fucking did there was a whole shit show of new

obstacles that came up after that but there was also synchronicities that like

helped me along and even when there was periods where there was no

synchronicities I still was just driving through it and then more would pop up

but my point with that is to say you are being guided whether you want to believe

in a higher power or the universe or anything you’re being guided and you

will be tested but the more you recommit I swear to God it just lines up

like the more you can recommit no matter how bad it gets the more you recommit

unless it’s a relationship give that shit the fuck up but the more you

commit to a goal I swear to God it’s gonna get bad it’s gonna get dark but

just keep moving keep recommitting if you really really want it if something

can stop you from recommitting you don’t want it bad enough try something else

but if you know you fucking want this thing and you’re committed to it nothing

will be able to stop you and that level of forward-moving creative energy coming

out of any being that shit’s gonna manifest and that is where I’m gonna

leave this podcast episode off I hope this was helpful I’m sorry if you got

offended but you needed to hear all this you can’t fight me and say that it

wasn’t good information love you it was all coming from the heart it was all

things I wish someone would have told me I’m just like the person that will say

it everybody else wants a sugarcoat shit because they’re trying to sell you

courses about how to manifest but if you enjoyed this video leave it a

thumbs up and if you’re new to YouTube hit the subscribe button check out my

other videos I’d be spitting all kind of awareness and shit and if you’re

listening to the audio version of this podcast leave me five stars rating thank

you so much it helps a lot but the links to everything will be in the description

and where you can keep up with me all of my social media the link to my app the

link to my merch everything you fucking want in the description so just check it

out but leave me a comment and let me know what you thought of this episode I

really love hearing feedback so be nice but I would like to hear what you have

to say and if it helped you on that note I’m gonna go get ready for my LA trip if

you want to keep up with me while I’m on a trip I’m gonna be posting a lot on

Instagram and tick-tock so links in the description for that keep up with me

let’s go on the trip together but everybody be safe take care of yourself

put your ass behind your words throw some actions in there and line some shit

up for yourself you absolutely got this I love you guys to death I promise I

swear on my whole heart but I will talk to you guys next Sunday