Call Her Daddy - 7 - Sliding into the DMs - It’s Time to Get Laid Boys


Daddy, do I call her daddy?

Call her daddy.

All right.

It is October thoughts.


Holy shit.

Okay, it’s October 24th.

It’s been October for a while.


Well, we’ve been black out the entire month of October, because taking on this job.

It’s like, okay, I can’t be sober.

I thought it was September up until yesterday.

Well, tonight, you it’s almost Halloween bitches.


If you guys are looking for a costume, a last-minute costume.

I’ll be a little narcissistic and say, go for it, be Sophia, and I for Halloween.

That would actually be the easiest costume because all you have to do is throw on a long blond wig, and then medium hair, brown wig, and dress, like a total slut and boom.


There you go.

Alex and Sophia back at it again, trigger treaty.

I love that.

So what’s up, bro?


It is Alex and Sophia back at it again for another episode of call her daddy.

If you are just joining us and this is your first episode.

Well, you’re listening to the wrong fucking episode.


Go start of episode 1, everyone else.


It’s Episode 7.

Oh my God, we get high have actually no idea literally blackout.

So we want to give a shout out to all the girls with that bomb, Voodoo clam.

Hi ladies.


Mmm and all those guys pulling GTRs left and right.

And for those of you who don’t know, a gdr is a good dick review.

Maybe even a great dick review.

I have faith in you guys, dude.

You guys are no dirty SOB.

It’s like, we read our GM’s.

First of all, we want to let you guys know.

We read everything.


We’ve no lives.

We read everything.

You guys are sad.

Judges, like, you guys are taking it up a notch.

You guys are telling us, you’re on your way to fuck your ex and give them the GLOCK GLOCK.

And then guys are over here being like, I’m about to go do the hummingbird on this bitch is clit.

We’re like unbelievable, loving the spirit, loving it.


You guys are living it and you’re feeling it and that put this whole podcast is about live, laugh love.

So thank you.

Let’s talk about our weekend because we always do a little Recon.

We was at English.

We always do weekend Recaps.

So this past weekend Sophia and I I went to a pretty upscale brunch this past.


I would say, so very upscale as we’re starting to make money so we can treat ourselves on this shit.

So, we go to this upscale brunch.

It was on the Upper East Side.

If you guys don’t live in New York City, the Upper East Side is exactly what you’ve heard.

It is, it’s Gossip, Girl.

It’s bougie as fuck.


And so Sophie, and I go to this brunch and we sit down.

There’s like, eight women sitting next to us.

They’re all lost be.

They’ve got their Chanel designer should on.

They’re drinking their bellinis.

They’re eating their Mac.


They’ve got tea time and they’re talking about their fucking book club.

Meanwhile, Sofia and I are talking about Dick and we’re like, hello.


Happy Sunday.

Just your normal call.

Her daddy outing.

I mean, I don’t even remember we were talking about but it was completely inappropriate.

We were sitting there with our mimosas.

We had two sips maybe and the hostess walks over to us and says, we just had a table open up for you.


Please follow me and we’re going to take you that way.

Now mind you Soviet.

I had literally just add down.

We were we were sitting at our desk.

Donated table.

We have you know already we were like getting ready to order the appetizer, right?

So then something came over me, right?


I was like, oh my god, do they recognize us as the call her daddy?


Like wait a second.

Is our podcast like actually taking off blowing up.

I mean, are we low-key?

Do they think we’re kind of famous or what’s happening?


I like Alex buckle up, baby.

We’re going to The Big House cable.

Oh my God.

Yeah, bitch.

You thought Listen up, guys, because we were sadly mistaken.

We are, we are escorted over to what would probably be considered as the dungeon table.


And when I tell you guys, we literally are sitting, we might as well have been sitting in the fucking men’s bathroom because we are sitting so fucking close every time.

The door swings open.

I am getting nailed.

Every time.

The guy came out after he takes a massive dump.


I’m like hell.


Smell it.


And my head is getting this fucking door.

This table was in like the farthest corner.

It was covered in cobwebs.

The Crypt Keeper lived?


It was so dimly lit.

I couldn’t even read the menu.

I’m like, what are we doing back here?


What happened?

And all we knew it was because the stupid ass ladies next to us had complained.

And you know what to that?

I say, ladies, I will be fucking your husband later.


I want to come.



Alex and I will both be giving your husband the Glock like later.


Imagine Alex.

Gave a better Goddamn Duo to give the Gluck Gluck to your husband.

We will wait.

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

All right, moving on.

Let’s talk about diem.

We have gotten so many questions.

Guys, asking us.

What is the best way to DM agrella?


What is proper etiquette for, DM, and girls?

I just want to say newsflash, DM’s work like, low-key.

I think people sometimes doubt the M’s.

I have dated multiple guys.

Is right.

That have first let into my DMs. Oh, that is.

Oh, that’s just a little insight over here that we want to give.


You also not to get sappy with it.

But all I can say, is everyone out there that isn’t shooting their shop because they’re afraid they’re going to get rejected left and right or they’re going to get left.


Fuck that.



There’s a shit, guys.


Go for it.

You lose.

You have nothing to lose.


I mean, think about approaching a girl in person.

That’s scary getting rejected when you’re in person.

That’s scary.

If I was a dude, I would be spending DM’s like it was my job which at you should like iron and send it and then resend it.


Like what?

You’re just you’re on a phone, who gives a fuck.

So let’s talk about.


Sofia and I are like talking about this.

There’s a couple things that we want to give, guys are a little bit of insight in here.


What can guys do?

The first thing that is imperative for them to possibly get answered if they send a DM.


Go first thing is your profile profile, baby waiting.

Seconds of you sending the DM.

The first thing she’s going to do is go and look at your profile.

That’s the first thing.

I think about yourself when a guy is sliding into a grant, he’s like, let me see what this girl’s ass and tits look like, well, the girls do the same fucking thing, right?


So hello, they need to make sure you’re not a serial killer Etc.



So profiles, so we’re going to give you guys the do’s and don’ts of profiles really quick.


My number one thing.

Do not post.

A picture of your fucking cars.

I don’t want to see your Mazda.


All right.

I just don’t want to see it.

Even if it’s a goddamn Maserati.

I do not want to see what kind of car you have to leave it up to my imagination.

When you pick me up on the first date.

Motherfucker Alex, how many times the picture with big guy?

Like lean back on the hood of his BMW?


I’m like diam deceased.

I am dead.

Get the fuck out of my face.

It never post that I’m getting out of there.


I don’t want to see it.

It’s the worst form of a flex eyes.

No one gives a shit.

What kind of car you own?

I don’t care.

I really hate it.

Out of it object that you own.


Okay, your hats your shoes, the fake Rolex.

Oh, it’s a real Rolex again.

I don’t care.

No, the wad of cash, get the fuck out of my field.

By Neva is what we were talking about.

How you were just saying, you know, guys sitting on his car.

Let me just tell you guys male photo shoots, unless you are a goddamn.


I am G model.

I do not want to see you posting solo shots on Instagram.

It is not cute.

Yeah, you do know, you’re not doing an ad for fashion Nova.

Like I know there.

Also on Instagram, but that is where us thoughts live and we breathe and we make of money.


Maybe there is just a fact.

Girls can do certain things on Instagram that guys absolutely have no business doing.

They had a guys that are posting solo shots of themselves and they’re having their friend or whoever I don’t honestly, you take these pictures, even a selfie from a guy.


Yeah, you know, let me just tell you guys if you’re like, well, I don’t know.


I’m telling you right now to go.

Delete every single solo shot because when I tell you, Sofia was sleeping with this guy and we thought he was kind of cool.

I will Never forget there was a morning Sofia and I both woke up.

And wewe woke up to seeing that he threw up a goddamn solo shot.


We both deemed it to each other at one point.



And we walk out and you literally verbatim said I will never sleep with that man.

Again, this picture made it so clear to me that this guy will never be entering the again I’ve ever so stop with the solo Shots tonight.



Let’s talk.

Let’s talk about the fishes.


Okay, fucking knock.

Off with the pictures of the fish.

You caught.

Okay, I’m done.

Pick one.

Your we’re going to allow you to post one, make the biggest fish you ever fucking call this fish.


And if you really feel the need to have all of them, put it in your little fishy album and take it to bed with you.

Okay, give it to your grandmother.

Give it to your family.

That’s right.


Got a fish tank.

All right, I can post on Instagram.

Okay, moving on.

So there’s a lot.

Okay, we’re sitting on guys.


Listen, there are things you can do that can be positives.

And first I want to say and this is something we both agree on.

If you guys are posting pictures with friends with family, showing you of a goddamn motherfucking social life.

Throw that shit up.

Okay, that shows one.

Let me tell you girls look to stalk you and it’s like, okay.


Are you hot?

Are you cool?

Are you whatever but when they also go to your profile they are looking to see if you have friends that their friends can also hang with.

So whenever I go I’m like, oh Sofia like, who are you talking to?

Is he hot and then you’re like, yeah.

Look how hot is friends are I’m like, okay.


Damn, like let’s go out again.

That’s what girls naturally think about.

So guys, if you can post cool school pictures with your friends, when you’re out, when you’re whatever you’re doing.

Because pictures also though.

Do not, please throw up.

Every picture of you guys out of fucking frat party, with alcohol, your keg, with your fucking Bud Light, right?


We don’t want to be like, oh, well, my future husband who will be in prison.

I know within a year.

They should have seen that.

He was an alcoholic real quick.

So little done.

There you go.

Talk about the Wardrobe.

We were listen, we do some research, some time.

We were stocking on Instagram and some guys have no fucking idea or to no clue and not just because like dude, I already told you I swear to God my brother would not be dating the girl that he’s dating right now.


Had it not been for me helping him out.

No, right back to where I think the number one thing with your wardrobe is get a pair of well fitted Jean.

Yeah, that’s a huge.

Get them in every color and Rock’em, you know, what, Sophia can we talk about?

What pants not to fucking where?

Oh, okay, khaki pants khaki.


Khaki shorts or pants.

Leave me in my family alone.

Literally got in my face.

Where is khaki?


Knock it off?

Knock it off every person right.


You own.

Khaki pants are I don’t know.

What a burn them.

I don’t know who that.

Is it because you had a High School dress code.


Well, I don’t care.

Whatever private school, you’re going to, you should have been going there.

If they were making drop out because I do.

Okay, loafers done.

Knock it off.

Get out of my face.

High-top Jordan.

Knock it off.

Knock it off.


I talked Jordans at a bar with cat.

Keep ants.

I’ve seen it and I want to die.


I want to die.

Who the fuck is putting on high top Jordans and khaki pants.

There’s just clearly someone.

Yeah, there’s a way that was horrible.

Get yourself a nice pair of jeans and I think if I was okay, listen, I’m not going to shit on people that wear button-downs because I know people in the South are way more prep.


I personally think it’s so fucking hot where when a guy Wears Like A v-neck tee Vee to or if he throws on like a casual, like long-sleeve hoodie type.



Or like a crewneck bubbling and I keep it casual the button down especially in.

A bar setting.

No dude.

I’m like realizing Alex girls.

And guys, guys have to almost worried about their profile more than girls because all guys care about is how hot the girl is.


So it’s if the girl has no picture with friends, doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter.

Could be a serial killer, only pictures of herself, doesn’t matter.


We’re ready to go.

You could be wearing the most hideous outfit.

Our daughter, doesn’t matter.

That’s actually supposed to picture of her fucking car that she’s been driving since high school.


That has a broken window.

Doesn’t matter, you’re right.

So guys if you’re actually struggling with your outfit, when you’re going out to bars, you’re going to dance what I do.

With my brother DM Sophia and I have pictures of what you’re about to wear will probably answer you because we have nothing else to do with their lives.

So hopefully that gives you a little bit of insight of what you should be wearing.



We’ll talk about what to say what to say.

I think the number one.

No, no.

Is saying hi to, dude.

Hey, the amount of is displayed in our like hi.

No, unless you have a blue, fucking check.


Mark, the high will never work.

And let’s be honest.

None of us have a blue checks are gonna pop out of the games.

All right, people will say hi or the worst one that I think it’s so obvious that I can see through it when they’re like, um, hey, I need you.

I need to ask you a question.

Obviously, all you want me to do is accept your DM and you don’t have a question.


You’re just trying to click bait me.

Yeah, I know.

I’ll click bait is motherfuckers and I’m not responding to it, Alex.

Just click be all the time.


Let me also tell you guys, sexual sexual textual, comes with time.

Do not first.

DM them.



Yeah, guys, this is what you need to do.


The humor is where it’s at with.

Oh, totally agree.

And I’m more of a sucker for it than most girls.

Like, I told Alex.

And she’s like, what is wrong with you in?


Because this happened, he not that long ago.

And I want to give a shout out to my friend, Phil.

I will be texting you soon.


This guy sends you, this DM, and it ends with, you know, what, I’ve got the bill.

You’ve got The Fill because his name is Phil.

I fucking hate that colleague, Loki.

Phil, that’s kind of savage.

But at the same time I hate it.

Honestly probably wouldn’t fuck.


I’m not.

But Sophia where everybody is like, what did the guy do it?

Someone into Sophia’s Dion’s about the Ever.

So here’s another one that I thought was brilliant.

He said, girl.

Are you a beaver was?

Like, No, And he was like cuz damn you realize the pickup lines.


You think are the most endearing literally you just do like a beaver dam.

I know, you know what you’re fucking saying.

I’m telling you that you can do is double check.

You can double check again.


No, I agree though.

The humor, I had a guy slide in once and it was like a it was like a big Melissa.


Coming down the slide and he like, said something about.

Oh, I’m sliding.

Yeah, it’s fine.

GIF is always great.

Can I say, I personally think of all the DMS I’ve ever gotten.

I think the most effective way to DM a girl is responding to one of her stories.


Oh, yeah, like, that is the way to do it.


It’s way.

It’s, it just makes it less creepy automatic.

That’s creepy.

But also more personal because rare, you’re having to respond to something that movie is obviously doing with her life and to make it funny.

Yes, and you’re acknowledging something that she found like interesting or something.


She found running.

It’s almost like you’re agreeing with it.


Yeah, so I’m sorry if this section wasn’t as crazy but I think we had to address you had to well.

Yes, I’m using is real life, guys.

I have dated multiple people.

And yeah, this isn’t made up.

All right, let’s talk about hair extension.


Sophie and I both can agree.

If you are fucking around with a girl with hair extensions, you are guaranteed probably to get fucked way faster.

And if you’re not fucking with someone with hair, Again, whoo, let’s go not for the reasons.

You think not for the reasons, you think?


Well, first of all, let’s just say I know every like the minute we said hair extensions every guy was like, oh no fuck this about the best for okay, but then they heard you say that you will end up fucking her.


So maybe they are still low key.

This section is literally for you guys.

If you are down with the hair extensions girls.


All Right.

Girls, we’ve all been there.

You do not want a guy to reach into your hair and feel your tracks.

You do literally anything to avoid him.

Feeling your extensions.


You will end up forcing.

Him to finger yet before he touches your goddamn weave.

Okay, let us explain agreed.

Alright, let me paint the scene painting, you are back at this guy’s house.

You guys are making out.

Things are getting hot and heavy and he goes to put his fingers through your hair, my God.


All right, and you know goddamn well that you have a nasty ratchet a situation back there.

You have some extensions for days.

Okay, and you do not want this guy.

Feeling what type of weasel you got living?

In the back of your head.

All right, at that very moment, your fight or flight response, kick the fuck in and at the very moment you literally will redirect his hand.


Yeah, anywhere, but your scalp.


You know how many times I’ve grabbed the guy’s hand and literally insert it inside of my pants and onto my vagina because her fear that he would feel my team.

I have literally pushed him down onto the bed and somehow my face.


Is that a zipper?

And I’m about to give some great fucking Gluck, actually.

Because I’m like, Not today.

Are you gonna find out that?

I’ve got a weave in my know, and I know, he sounds like, oh, but I need girls to DMS and tell us we’re not psychic.

Goddamn true.

Oh my God.

It’s like the funny thing about it is that guys are so shocked because there was not meant to be any like sexual advances at no point.


There is literally all of a sudden you could be on your first date.

Like guys have to understand, there is no timeline for this.

It doesn’t matter.

If it’s our first date, you will be entering me if it means.

Yeah, you were We have to find out I believe.

Oh, no, your fingers before you touch my help and not just what it is because I know sometimes, let’s just I’ve seen their faith.


They can be shocked.

It’s like I was not ready for that.

But at the end of the day, we are also show.

I they’re shocked.

I’m shocked.

I’m like, I wasn’t planning on getting fingered at 1:30 this afternoon, your honor its after coffee tea, but you went to, you know, if you were to my scalp you enter, run your fingers through my hair and I had no other choice but to get finger fucked.


Okay, so that’s I quit.

I for guys, if you ever want to get to third base with a girl, no know what we’re trying to say guys.

Don’t just don’t go for the hair.

No, Sophia.

No got.

We gotta play Both Sides, guys.

If you have any inclination that this broad has tracks for any type of hair extensions, you go for them because two seconds later, your fingers will be in her vagina and we had their base.


Let’s go baby.

So let me get this straight Alex.

We’re telling men that if you are talking to a girl with Extensions to try to feel that absolute because you will have to reread your hand inside of her vagina.

Okay, we got to be, we gotta, we gotta support both sides.



Do what you gotta do, guys.

Do what you gotta do.

Also, one of the, only one of the guys I dated for almost two years and I he’d never knew, I had mentioned, I know that is the craziest thing because you didn’t know psychoactive clippings, and you wear them occasionally like, yeah, wear them to event.


I would fucking whip.

I’d like babe.

I gotta pee, I would Get that shit out of my scalp.


Shove it in my purse, shove it in my pants.

Throw it in a closet.

I guess, you know, even more advice is if you don’t want to get fingered on your first day just use clip-ins because then you can just throw them in your purse and avoid the whole fingering situation.


You don’t have to get finger vein.

I just called you unless you’re trying to speed up the process and then you go mourn and then you can get fucked.


Hey moving forward, while we’re on the topic of getting fucked.

When are we not on that topic?

Hey, let’s talk about dirty talk.


Okay, holy shit.

All right, listen, the noise level, it’s cries.

All right.

So, if you and I were talking about this the other day I have been with guys that are completely silent.

Yeah, I’m bed.

And when I say like silent, I mean, mute me too.


It’s like you’re fucking a minor legit fucking around with him.

I like art.

Do you have a pulse?

Nothing, what’s happened?

So, let me just say like, it is so unattractive, for For 15 to 20 minutes, you’re in bed with this guy and there is no noise.


You’re the only person in the noise, you’re talking to yourself.

You’re having like, what the fuck?


And so, I want to say, we got a DM from someone.

This is kind of what brought it up.

We got a DM from someone and they said, are you supposed to moan cuss breathe?

Like, you’re running the mile because sometimes I can’t tell if I’m breathing too heavy or if they like it.


I think I can speak for all women that we love some indication that you’re enjoying.


We don’t want to hook up with a guy that’s totally silent.

Like, you know, throwing a cuss word just throwing in a fuck so hot if your grunting moaning, whatever it’s hot.

Like we want you to do that.


We just don’t want the neighbor.

Oh, my God.


It’s like you walk out and we don’t want the neighbor to know that you were fucking Katie.

We want the neighbor to know.

It was David that like it’s like okay because the guy was screaming so fucking loud, but now everyone knows Katie’s name and not David’s name, David shut the fuck up and let Katie screen.


My God.

My God or what about this sound with?

They’re actually coming because honestly, no, I understand that.

It’s a little bit involuntary.

Okay, but it’s like, it’s just your body responding.

Listen, you only have so much control over it.


We get it.

Everyone has their response when they come.

Yeah, it’s what it is.

However, I have literally hooked up with guys, and if they were putting in work for that 20 minutes, whatever.

How long?


It’s a, it’s a gdr.


Great dick.

Reviews about the come his way the minute he comes.

I sometimes have looked up at a guy and then terrified because he’s like, I know exactly.


We don’t want this song Zombie Nation blasting while you’re blasting.



It’s the scariest thing and his face two guys.

Just try to keep it real again.

We are letting all right.

Roll, adults here.

We don’t need some like okay.

Holy shit.



So on the topic of that, don’t worry girls.

We didn’t forget about, you know, we’re not just gonna shit on guys.

We gotta show them girls to we’re all.

So it’s not saying that we’re doing this perfectly either.

So no, let’s talk about talking and For girls.


I think there’s a huge misperception or misconception.


Sometimes because of porn I all grew up watching porn and porn is crazy.

And everyone’s like, oh my god, let’s go fucking crazy.

And how the porn stars do it.

We should do it.

Yes, so absolutely.

Okay, you guys porn is not realistic.

It’s just not.


I’m sorry if I’m crushing sold out there, but the MILF coming home to fuck you and then the stepsister, it’s just not real.



So with that said, my friend told me a story you hooked up with a girl last week and he said that the tip hadn’t even gone inside of her fully and she started screaming bloody murder.

Like, he thought he was like, did someone get shot?


Because I haven’t even like I not even what happened because I let the tip is gray as the labia and started screaming like a porn star.

So what we want to say is listen girls, we understand that porn is like you want to be Man, and you want to make noises but low-key guys also can read through that shit.


It’s like they don’t want to act like you’re putting on a performance, make sure it sounds fucking genuine to be genuine and obviously be vocalist.

Something’s feeling good.

Let them know I’m there with you.


Whatever absent like don’t put on a goddamn show.

With that being said, though, and I want to say men are like dogs.


Ladies men are like dogs in the way that imagine a puppy.

Okay, he’s running around your Gonna clap, you’re going to be like, yes, come on, you’re doing great.

You’re doing great.

Come on.

Here we go.

You are literally chanting them on.

You’re giving them props for what they’re doing when they’re doing things.



So you need to give them pep talk.

So yeah, conversation or any type of communication in the bedroom is huge, guys.

Think it’s a huge turn-on.

It’s just the amount that you’re trying to use.


Okay, so let’s talk about, okay, because we’ve had people write in being like, what the fuck am I supposed to say, when the bedroom with my God?


Yes, and I think, You can absolutely talk about but really it’s really simple.

You guys think about the inner workings of a guy’s brain, disgusting disgusting.


So when you’re about to start some dirty talk be 10 times instinctively dirtier than you normally would be absolutely.


So let me give you an example.

Hi, if you’re going to say I want to suck your dick guys.

That’s Amateur hour.

You’re not going to say that.

I don’t know you’re going to say.

I wish I was taking your whole piece down.

On my throw until my eyes water and my mascara is down on my chin.


Okay, you gotta get descriptive with it baby and make them really believe in what you’re saying.

Oh my gosh.

Poetry, poetry, poetry.


I love that.

We had a girl right in.

And she said, though, like legit during sex.


You wanted to say, Sofia, you can help her out.



What does she do?

When she wants to say, fuck me?

But how does she take it up another notch.

Oh, that is so simple.

Oh, of course.

You got the club.

All you have to do is add.

Fuck me like your slut.

Fuck me, like were more or treat me like a slut or for that is good ones to achieve your tongue a guy that you’re his.


Yeah, and I he loved you and then you throw in a slut.


I think a huge one is like if you tell them like I’m gonna fuck you like it’s yours.

They’re like, I just came already or if you like.

Fuck me like I’m your whore bulb lot.

That goes a long way ladies.

Okay, and so kind, Is hiding a boner right now is like what the fuck is going on.


There are so many girls out there that have written in and said, I want to spice it up.

But if my boyfriend just comes home, or my husband comes home and randomly out of nowhere.

I’m like, fuck me.

Like, I’m your whore, who cares, you know, but think about it.

I understand where they’re coming from.

Like they can get a little nervous.

First of all, I don’t mean to encourage being intoxicated.



Well II know, I totally agree with you Alex.

I think of you, you know want to have a few shots, maybe a little hit of the joint if you’re in California or wherever it happens.

Really where everything I think that could make sex.


And I don’t be a job.

I don’t think there is a thing better than high sex.


I’m just putting it out there only in the legal states, but I suggest if you haven’t done it and you’re trying to spice things up with your partner.

You should both get high.

Try it out.

It’s a great time.


Thank you for that.



You’re welcome only in California.

But also if you guys want to take drink, whatever you gotta do to get yourself in the mood.


Now, let me also tell you.

We also talked about the two Hand, double hand twist with the glücklich because you want to Your man feel big.

No matter.

We said no matter how small his dick is, it’s never too small to do the double hand twist.

When he’s fucking you, if you want to throw in a word because sometimes girls are gonna be like, oh my God, I don’t want to say, oh my God, fuck me, like you and your whore.


What you can do, is give him descriptive terms to let him know.

He’s hitting it, right?

Okay, example, if he’s fucking you and you tell him how deep he is or how wet you are 8-1.

Thank you.

Great one.


Don’t you agree?


Lee, I’m heard from every guy friend, I know that if you kind of like push back on his hip, when he’s fucking you and you’re like, oh my God, because he’s so deep.

They, they’re going to be like, well, I’m in love now because he’s gonna feel huge.


I’m just saying, we kind of also need to err on the side of caution.


All right.

Porn has fucked with our minds so much that.

Now people are saying like come on my face, and then punch me off and then steal my wallet, right?

Joe came on her face.

Don’t feel her wallet.

Just being beautiful work like for example.

Listening to a podcast.


Oh and on the podcast, the girl asked.

What was the dirtiest text you ever sent.

She sent a guy a text saying I want to suck the skin off of your dick.


What that is not hot but it’s literally like saying I want to see ya.


Fuck your clit off your vagina.

I’m in fucking pain.

Who would find that sexy.

I want to suck the skin off of your dick.

Oh, I don’t.

We can’t.

We do you want to chew on my dick out?

After as well, crunch eyeballs, like kisses.


So no girls.

I think you need to be really fucking careful when you’re like getting descriptive beat.

Make sure it’s.

Yeah, it’s not like you’re gonna eat his dick.

Like a monster.

That’s very silly.


Okay, so we go, first of all I was going to say let’s get into story time.

But I think what we should just start saying is it’s Sophia story time.


I found stores on it.

Sophia story.

I got you know, I thought we were on equal crazy playing field, but I guess.

No, dude.

I thought I was crazy until I met you.

So amazing.

Let’s get into your story.

Feel great about myself.

All right, here we go.

Well, first of all, let’s preface it with we’re crazy.

We lie a lot.


I mean, what did I say the other day to you?

You told a guy, your parents are getting a divorce.

And then how does he ever getting back together to get out of a date?

Well, yes, I actually wasn’t gonna bring that up.

But yes, I did say my parents are getting a divorce so I could get out of a date, but that’s, that’s neither here nor there.

Okay, I was going to say when you came out of your room and you were fighting with the guy and I like texted, you want to lie to him and you are like, oh my God.


The minute I said the lie, you told me to tell if you like believed everything and I was a little way.

White Lies, Sofia are what kept me through my day, it just gotta, you gotta live your life.

You were die forward.

Said that little white lies is a get me through the day and I was like, okay, in honor of celebrating how much we lie.


Let’s talk about one of the great times that you lied.

And the extent.

You took your lies.


Well, it’s hardly my fault.

Partly, the doctors fall.


Right into it.

So I missed work and it was this day that I could not miss under any.


Dance is my boss.

Who told me?

I can’t miss it.

And this is when you were in Utah, working for a financial firm.


Got it.

It was a very, very important data presentation cetera.

I decided to go out the night before because well, why not?

So, when in Rome when in Utah, same thing, you know what I mean?


Okay, so I woke up at like lunchtime.


All right, I wake up with all these texts, I go into a full-blown psychosis.

Okay, I hurry and grab the guys dead.

Me at the time.

And I dropped to the floor, my knees and I say I will be fired if you don’t punch me in the face right now, and he was like what?


And I’m like just knock me out, please.

And then driving hospital, and then get me a doctor’s note.

Because it’s over for me.

And he was like, your psycho.

And I was like, please give me just give me a black eye.

Just anything, please.

Just knock me out, please.

I’m begging you, and he’s like, you’re scaring me.


I’m leaving.

I’m giving a black guy.

I’m gonna break up with you, this.

I was I was grasping for anything that I could just casual Tuesday morning.

I’m Sofia in my mental state.

I was like, oh my gosh, if I go with a black guy like they won’t even ask any questions.


I’ll be good.

I’ll be good to go.

But he, you know, he denied me.

Oh, like kinda good.

Boyfriend would do if you asked him know a good flavor.

Would it be?

I’m not gonna say that we don’t, we do not agree with domestic violence.



Got it.


I’m running around the house.


His roommate was wearing.

Crutches at the time.

I grabbed those bad boys and I was parading around the house.

Singing if I could pull it off that I needed crutches and I had gone a car accident or something, whatever convenient, and it just didn’t work.

I was like, there’s no way I can pull this off for an entire day for an entire week or two weeks.


How long would I have to keep up that lie?

Okay, I would end up just like walking to the bathroom on both my feet.

I am like oh shit anymore crunches.

Okay, so the crutches didn’t work, the punching of the face didn’t work.

No, then what did you know, so Then I start going through my list of friends and I’m texting out.

I’m like, are you a doctor or do you know, a doctor who can write me a legit doctor’s note?


People are telling me, no, finally, this guy is like, oh, so feel like I can get you a doctor’s know.

We use need to hang out, just like your and I see real quick.

I was like, absolutely absolutely.

Like, of course, we’ll hang out.

Just give me the doctors know, he’s like, okay, but like you promised I’m like, oh, I promise babe.


Of course, we’re going to hang out, never saw the man again, but I did get the there’s no K and this is the thing about asking for a doctor’s note.

The doctor gets to decide what diagnosis you’re going to have.

I love how you so casual like guys.

This is the thing about when you get a doctor’s office Sofia, I don’t think many people are like soliciting the like Hey, listen, I’ll hang out with.


You can get me a doctor.

So usually I have to go down.

I’ve actually had a few doctors notes that were forged for me.

Not even Forge for real doctors.

It gave me doctors notes, but will, you know, we can talk about the other ones on a later because they think their penis is gonna get it locked in the never hear from you.

This part.

Killer doctors.


No, okay.

He decided to give me a Mersa diagnosis.

Okay, it’s MRSA.

I don’t know what it stands for, but pretty much.

It’s a flesh-eating bacteria.



This next part isn’t going to make sense.


Within it will make sense.



I told my boss that I had Mersa the flesh eating bacteria on my vagina.

Okay, why did you hesitate your vagina?

And this is y, and this is not exaggerated.


That’s exactly to happen.


I was trying to figure out how you can get Mersa.

Okay, because me and that I have no idea what that is me and help me.

And this particular boss.

We were really close.

We were close enough to the point that she would ask me like, what the fuck?


How do you have mersa, you know, anywhere?



So I started researching it.

You get it, you can get it from sharing.

It was someone that has it.



See it is summertime.

Okay, it’s so fucking hot in Utah.

I was wearing a tank top and a skirt every day.



So me and this boss are close enough where she would ask me to see where the mercy got it.

I know for a fact you like - yeah, and I’m thinking what parts of my body do I shave?

That I won’t be able to show her legs.


I can show her armpit.

I can show her the video.

Vagina, I cannot show her.


Do you get it?


That’s why I have a show with I was thinking I was like, oh my God, I’ll just say my, but I’ll just say my stomach.

I don’t shake my butt.

I don’t shake my stomach.

I do shave my bikini line.



And lo and behold I end up going to work and telling my boss that I had a flesh-eating bacteria on my pussy.

All right.


Good night is over for me.

That’s I’m Sophia Franklin stylish it and she believes you.

Oh, that’s the thing.

Alex is the second you tell us.


Run, you have a flesh eating bacteria on your vagina.

They have nothing else to do but to believe you like, okay?


Anyways, go back to your desk.

You know why?

They know that someone in their right mind, would not come up with a lie like that.

That’s true.


Why would you be proud to strengthen their be like?

Yes, I’ve Mersa on my poo.

Know, she’s like, no, I guess you continue to work at that Financial firm for two more years.

I did.

All right, but I swear to God, haven’t you told me that you’ve lied with other dogs?

There’s notes.

You just said that.


You said you won some Jewish award.


I went on a Birthright trip.

I lied at work.

And I said that I received this award in New York.

That I have to go.

I had to go like receive it in person.


You won a Jewish award in New York.





I got to New York.

Okay, and my manager was like, oh my God, Sophia, you have an award.

Oh, my God, like, congrats amazing.

You throw in the Jewish car?

They can’t say, It about anything about religion.

So that’s another way for sure.


You’ll get away with it.

You always think guys talk about religion or pussy and you can get away with pretty much any lie, you have.

Alright, so I’m in New York and my mom text me.

She’s like, let’s go to the Dominican Republic and I’m like, you’re psycho.

I already took three days three days off of work for an award that doesn’t exist and she’ll like you’re having fun is like, but why not?


Let’s go to the Dominican Republic and I said, you know what?

I mean?

Oh, fuck it kind of mode.

I’m going through a breakup.

Let’s just Try it.

So I reach out to my friend that lives in New York.

He writes me a doctor’s note, simple.

It says, I’m just at the surgery unit at new york-presbyterian like boom.


Okay, and you’re gonna be out of work and definitely the doctor does that, I’d be out of work indefinitely.

So I only took me at this point.

Okay, this financial firm and my boss and my managers and the people around me.


Think I am deathly ill and I will die at any moment.

Have a month to live like this, which has Mersa.

She’s in the fucking.

I see you and me York.

We don’t know when we’re gonna lose her, my God mean.

I pulled out all the stops lie.


I only have respect for you.

I I mean, I think you’ve definitely taken your lies really far as have I so I can only respect it.

We would love for you guys if you want right into the call her website.

Tell us your crazy ass Stories.

We legit read all of your questions every week.

So I think right now is a perfect time to segue into reading a couple of Of your question.



My favorite part.

No, I’m going to start it off with a great one.

Good for us.



So hmm.

Just curious.

Do you guys have a plan as to what you’re going to say to your next boyfriend’s parents?

When they ask you about the podcast, Jeremy boyfriends are not in the cards for us anymore.


I think he made that very clear, lost that privilege a long time ago.

If I somehow get pregnant from Immaculate Conception, we don’t know what it is.

You guys no one watching us anymore.

Thank you for rubbing and Jeremy.

Thank you.

Next one.

How many bodies is Too Many Bodies as in people, you’ve had sex with Dona my God Dona.


Why do people?

Okay dude, we’ve had guys that have written into us being like, how do I tell a girl?

How many bodies I’ve had?

First of all, any girl that is asking a guy, how many girls he is fucked.

What are?

What are the things?

I mean, even vice versa.


I remember when I was little bit younger, I would ask that.

Question is Just an immature thing because once you hit a certain age, you never asked.

How can I was going to say?

Think about it?

If they say too many during like older man, who are there slut?

And if you say too, little to go there and experience you ever fucking answer that question.



He doesn’t matter.

There’s no magic number that, the person’s going to be like.

Oh, right, babe.

I knew, I loved you.

I knew I loved you 23.

That’s my lucky number.


Let’s Get Married.



All right.

Fuck that.

So never ask that question.


Its she goes.

Hey guys, so I hooked up with this guy and he ended up staying the night.


Fucking surprised.

He snores so loud.

This lasted the whole night and I almost had to sleep on the couch.

Any tips to telling a guy he can’t stay over and you just want him to make you come.

And then to get the fuck out.

Oh, oh my God.

Let me take this one over, you hand him his pants.


And you think him for his Services, you walk to the door, you open the door and watch him.

Leave, watch him walk out.

And if he’s being awkward, he’s like, Oh, I thought I was going to say like no, no, sorry.

That’s not how this works.

Like I’ll definitely let you know.

Yeah, I want to see you and bye.

And if you’re at his house, oh, you leave like a thief in the night.



You don’t, you need to tell him you’re going no, you just leave.

Okay, overthinking.

It’s like, oh my God, how do I kick him out?

You literally stand at your door and you wait for him to leave.

I mean nine times out of ten.

I’m not trying to sleep over.

No, I don’t even know.


Have you come on?

Okay next if a guy text you hey at 3:00 in the morning and you don’t open it until you wake up.


Do you just ignore it?

Because it was probably a booty call.

Or should I respond with?

The fuck is a protocol.

Let me take this one.


Yeah, as I told you all before, turn on your motherfucking read receipt, you do not respond to anyone that text, you past midnight.


I would say and you wake up and you read that shit and then he’s going to see that you read that shit and you don’t answer them, you wait for him to double text you because no one, no girl and no guy.

We are not answering three am.

Absolutely not guys.


The next day things are different.


All right, it’s a new day.

It’s a new dawn.

It’s a new life.


Is that Michael Buble song.

That’s it.

You’re one with the Lord.

The birds are chirping, and that’s it.

And that’s how we’re doing it.

So I hope to God, we all learned a little.

So I hope guys and girls.


Well guys.


I hope you guys learned a thing or two about Dion’s.

I hope all of you right now are actively going and deleting every fucking solo shot.

You never taken every car picture.

You’ve taken Fish picture girls.

I hope if you are in a rut with your man or you wanted to spice things up.


You are telling him how good he feels, how big he is.

Whatever we just talked about with talking dirty.

Tell him you are in fact his little whore now that is it for today’s episode of call her daddy episode 7 guys.


Wow, next week as we always say every fucking Wednesday.

We are coming out with the new episode.

We maybe talk About but stuff, I don’t know.

Yeah, who knows?

So thanks for hanging out with us today, guys.

We love your support.

Make sure you go to iTunes rate US, leave a little review if you feel us and we will see you guys next week on Wednesday.


Thank you guys.

Love you guys.

I love you.

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