Call Her Daddy - 16 - Double Penetration and a Happy New Year


Call him daddy.

Do I call her daddy?

Call her daddy.

Happy New Year, Daddy gang.

It’s 2019.


Holy shit.

Oh my God.

I mean happy New Year.

Daddy gang again.

Another episode of call her daddy.

I am actually so happy to be back and in front of a microphone, I can’t keep talking to myself.


No, I need you guys.

I can’t either.

So I would say let’s recap our New Year’s.

So we don’t remember shit.


There’s literally no point.

We don’t remember anything.

Let’s talk about.

Do we have any resolutions?


Go to the gym.

Okay, everyone says that they’re going to go to the goddamn gym is their New Year’s resolution.

I’ve been saying that for the past like 17 years, I think, but this time I really mean it.

Oh me too.

No, I’m going.

No, I think it was back in episode 1.


Oh my god.

Let’s have like a little walk down memory lane for the new year.

I think it was episode one or two.


And I talked about how we had this gym membership and we never were fucking going to the gym.


You do realize that.

Hey, for this gym membership, every single month.


And I the last time we went, I think was early March, and it’s now January.

Don’t tell me that.

Sophia we have to say that to me.

My goal for this year, is to go into the gym.

Yeah, look around.

See if there’s been any renovation since March, go home.


Like, let’s see if they got any new equipment and then we bounce the fuck out.

Or, or we do what we always see.

People do on the what is it?

The stair stepper, they like hold onto the Top of it.

And all of their weight is like on their arms and their feet are dragging as like this stuff’s go, that will be me.



So New Year’s resolution, go to the gym, more have less like mental breakdowns of you yesterday.


I was outside of Barstool and I had a little moment and I may have had like, you know, one loner tear like, trickling beautiful, blown men.


Breakdown you.

It’s not coming out of your nose.

You are buying your eyes cause I was having a panic attack.

Therapy is also one of my New Year’s resolutions, but we can get into that later.

And someone came up to me because I was wearing like, a daddy sweater.

Yeah, and someone came up to me and they were like, Sofia, and I was like, what?


And they were like, oh my God, like I love you.

I love your podcast - like I love you too.

And it was so embarrassed.

Like, I feel so bad for that guy.

He must be terrified.

He’s Like what the fuck is wrong with?

That girl, as you’re like licking up your snot.

It’s okay.


This is a true story.

I would just want to apologize to that guy.

I was having the worst day of my life.

Usually I’m like, down to chitchat.

Whatever not was.



Okay, so I guess we should we could quickly recap Christmas because we didn’t get to talk about it on our last episode.


Christmas was super fun.

I’m going to leave my family out of this one.

Just to like, let them sleep one extra night.

This They don’t need to hear me talk about them again on the podcast, but you and I did a little gift exchange did Alex 9 found this website and I like want to post the link and it literally is titled like shady gifts or like gifts to get Shady people.


So, naturally, Sophie and I are sitting at our apartment were like, click fuck.

Yeah, first of all, so if you tell them what you’ve got me because it’s brilliant.

It’s basically, if you’re shady motherfucker, these are perfect gifts.

I got Alex.

Hey double screen protector for her phone.


It is like an inch thick and it makes it so that like you cannot see what is happening on that person’s phone, unless you have like, literally special 3D glasses on her, beeping how fucking extra literally.


I have an extra phone on top of my phone and as a screen protector, so when people are looking at my phone, like what the fuck is going on.

You need the glasses to look.

It’s to the point where like only you can barely read your own father because it’s so dark.

I am gonna get away with so much more shit this year.


No one.

No one can look over your shoulder and like try and see any pictures, any text nothing.

So then I returned the favor as a great fucking friend.

And I got Sofia, Sofia has had some issues in the past with like ex-boyfriends, finding shit through her computer, like we talked about five catching, guys, with the iPad, you’re basically do Dude, guys, catch you with your computer.


So what I got Sophia is a lock for her computer and it’s not just any normal lock.

I got Sophia basically a fucking by claw.

This thing Sophie explain to them how it wraps.


Okay guys, you guys we all have a password on her laptop or not enough to make the hard but no one gets into it.

This lock is like a bike lock.

It’s like this thick material.

You wrap around your laptop like 50 times and then it locks with like a lock, the size of my palm.


What the fuck?

Legitimate bike.

Look at you wrap.

And honestly, that’s so just you could leave your laptop anywhere anywhere you like, when you’re at the airport near like I want to run to the restroom.

I like don’t wanna leave my oh, that’s gonna steal a laptop.

That’s fucking security book know, right?


We are locked and loaded.

Our New Year’s resolution is become shadier cheat more.

More be sketchier ruin men’s lives without getting caught.


Um, okay, so about the cheating you guys, come on.

It’s just yeah, we have to know people keep writing in and be like they condone cheating.


Shut up.

I also think a lot of girls were writing in this past year and like my boyfriend never pays attention to me when he’s playing Fortnight.

This is what Sophie and I have to say to that, you’re going to start the new year off with a goddamn bang and it’s going to include your goddamn.


Vibrator and obviously you’re going to use it on yourself.

But I don’t mean that what I mean is girls, obviously.

The vibrator and you use on your side.

I’m going to go in and out of your pussy with that chip, but there’s another reason you can use it.

What you’re going to do guys is if he’s playing for it night.

He’s not paying attention to you.

You’re going to take your goddamn vibrator.


You’re going to get the USB cord that used to charge that shit.

And instead of charging into the wall.

You’re going to stick the USB cord into his goddamn Xbox.

So when he goes to turn on Fortnight, he can see your pretty pink vibrator.

Chilling getting ready for you.



Hi, if I say come on, I condone this so much.

Because how many times have you been in that situation?

Where a guy is completely fucking?

Oh my God, and it’s like the in our report night.

I’m like, how can you play?

No, dude, literally the minute, he goes to pick up his controller and he you’re gonna go in, you’re gonna pick up your vibrator and you’ll be like, you have fun.


I’m gonna go have fun.

He’s gonna be like you just plug it directly into like the console if absolutely of the Xbox.

Instagram profiles.

We have touched on this shit in the past.

I really do think this is a topic.

We could incorporate every single episode.


Yeah, because it’s like, this is how dating is today?


Everyone is on this thing.

Every single minute of the day.


So guys, Instagram profiles.

Here we go.

We met you just said that got me almost.


So, riled up.

I got excited.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Daddy gang.

Okay, Daddy gang.

We have a huge tip like huge, seriously, but intention right now, we’re not.


We’re not talking about that huge tip retirement.

All right, call her daddy.

We are demanding that every single guy that listens to this podcast.

You must have a highlight reel on your Instagram page and let us Blaine guys are not fucking good with Instagram.



No, it’s, I mean, I’m sorry, but you guys you just you don’t really post.

It doesn’t come natural to you which I get.

Yeah, you’re pretty much using your Instagram to slide into a girl’s D.


Find your next victim and that’s fine.


And it’s absolutely fine.

I really wouldn’t want a guy to have this like aesthetically like using Pro poorly curated.


No, it’s doing teeth whitening odds.

Fuck off.

That’s fine.

What is not?

Vine that Sofia and I both can agree on is that men are not utilizing Instagram stories when they should know goddamn fucking well, girls spend 90% of their day scrolling through Instagram and looking at these stories all day long.


So why the fuck are you not posting stories and highlight reels?


So this is where the Highlight Reel comes in.

I’m going to try to bring it down.

Guys make it pretty simple because I promise you and I’m not even being dramatic because I’m a girl and I’m saying this is worked.


I promise you.

If you follow this right now, it will directly correlate to how much you start getting late.

I’m I’m pretty sure every man just ran and grabbed their laptop.

Everyone in their car right now - yeah.


Yeah guys, you are going to either find a video or take.

A video of yourself.

Preferably in the lease douchey, selfie format like, it’s going to be selfie for about, but obviously don’t make douchey.

It can be while you’re on vacation.


It could be.

When you’re out with your boys at a fucking sporting event.

You could be if you have an animal if you got a dog a cat a koala, it doesn’t fucking matter get an animal you like the little like the koala.

Yeah get an animal and you are going to basically be showing yourself off.


Yeah, but by doing something right and I don’t want you to fucking be laying in bed and like dropping your abs and shit.

Fuck off.

So I mean say that for Snapchat you so that at the end of the day you are going to have a minimum of four videos and real on your highlight on your IG page.



Guys, make it look natural.

And you may be asking why?

Yeah, why would I do this?

Yeah, when a girl goes to your Instagram page, Sophia how many times a day if I want to show?

You guy, what do I do?

I mean every single time you literally go.


I promise.

He’s hotter in person.

Every single grade, every time I hand my phone over to a girl, I preface it with just saying trust me.

He doesn’t look good in pictures.

He’s hot in person every single time.

Every I’m here all girls can relate to God.


Yeah, and I don’t know if guys know that or not, but we are just saying that because you guys have to understand.

That’s fine.

I’d rather you be better looking in person than in pictures.

We are saying you is you need to have a real in order for girls to have any idea of what they’re about to be fucking around with.



Fine to have a creepy Instagram, but we need a real so we can see what your work.


For videos Max that’s totally fine.

Or if you want to do more, that’s fine.


But I promise you, mmm.

If you have an attractive real ready to go, your DM percentage is going to go away, right?


And it’s you were showing a different side.

To the guy then like what they’re trying to capture in a picture, which is so hard.

It’s so essential.

Listen guys.

You’re going to get shit on by your friends.

Probably for having a real.

They’re gonna be like, what the fuck are you doing?


Oh, that’s dumb.

They’re gonna joke at you.

They’re going to Banter, whatever that’s fine.


Let them do that.

Let them laugh.

While you’re while you’re getting laid, right?

You focus on getting light laid let their dick be dry and yours will be fucking wet as shit.

So fuck that.

Okay, because I mean and I’ll just say it again because I really, really The really, I better fucking see when I go to stock heavy guys onto Instagram and we go look at your profiles.


Daddy gang and we don’t see a highlight reel or done.


You’re done.

You guys don’t realize Alex and I love love o.

Talking the daddy gang.

I don’t even joking.

We go home.

We like pop a bottle of champagne.

I’m going to see why I’m like, do you pop a bottle of wine?


We get out the popcorn and we start scrolling away.

Oh, we are one.

One with the data gang guys.

Listen, it is essential because like I said earlier girls are obsessed with Instagram.

So fucking let us interact with you.

Let us watch her story.


Let us watch your real use this shit to your advantage.

Pull us where we essentially spend most of our time.

Why are guys not using Instagram better?

So you guys can do better and we want to help you do better.

All right, guys, I think I’ve gained about 20 pounds since Christmas.


Oh, that was Good transition.

I’m like sliding hurt again.

So if you like a fat as hell, I really am.


It is so unfair that guys, get a rock, the dad bod.

Okay, why do girls not get the same luxury?


It’s why can’t I be like, Oh, I’m rocking the mom bod.

I should, I just want to come?

I just had a couple kids, and I have a little bit of a Puja, my vagina stretched out, and my tits are down to my ankles.

Like, why?


It’s not fucking fair.

Oh, it’s not.



I fucking know.

It’s really not fair.

The thing is is there something more prevalent than Dad bod.

Oh, I think Bill Burr like kind of lightly mentioned this in like his podcast like a while ago.

Okay, but I’ve been noticing it because it is seriously every other guy in New York has the finance bro.


Bawd the finance program, it is this Sport coat, Bosh.

It is.

He’s the guy for code.

It is these guys who look real fucking good in like their suits?



Okay, they’re rocking the sport coat.

They look so fucking fly.

All right, they look so hot that hides your body in a way.

This second.

They take that sport coat off.


It is like a Sponge, Bob Square Pants situation.


It is little arms.

Little tiny boobies.

I didn’t know it is like, hey, like I go to Equinox once a week, but like I fucking brunch and get drunk on the weekends.

Like you.


You know what I’m talking do?


I I have seen this with my eyes.

I didn’t know there was a fucking name for it.

That’s not a dad bod.

It’s like it’s it is literally a SpongeBob SquarePants looking at their like there’s the biggest fakers because like, yeah, so Hot like in the office, you know?


And the corporate was going to say it’s and they also get to wear that all the time and they’re the guys that wear it to the bar.

So I just got off work for happy hour.

I swear to God, you can like see it in their eyes though.

They like start sweating.

Like when they know they’re going to hook up with you.

They start sweating because like I gotta unbutton her life.

Oh my God.


Take this off.

So they’re gonna see the real me.

It’s a real fucking thing.

Oh my God.

Now, I’m going to start looking at everyone.

Could you?

I know this is going to upset some girls.

Do you kind of think that’s the equivalent to like girls putting flannel?

Surround their ways to hide their ass.

I’m doing that right now.


I’m doing it right now.

I’m wearing a hoodie wrapped around my jeans because I’m like my ass is gonna look like a cottage cheese in a garbage bag.

Hotter cheek to the floor, you remember cake, but fat, I went to visit this guy and I came back and I know you both and I have done it in the past.


I don’t fuck with the flannels though.

But whatever.

This is a PSA to every single girl, you need to stop doing that.

Like seriously just rock whatever you’ve got over that because the guy was like, every single On nose.

Yeah, when there is a girl that has that tied around her waist, they are insecure about their ass and their body.


Absolutely nothing.

Screams insecurity for a girl more than the fucking plan.

Early muy.

This second you have something, tied around your waist.


They’re like that ass must be fucking horrifying for her, for her to feel the need.


I was, my baby was a fucking video to record.


You are looking at Sophia.

Well, no, but it’s like Like you might as well just rock a flabby.

Just even just literally wear, like, a longer t-shirt or something like leggings in a bigger t-shirt, because it’s just that look, I didn’t even realize it until the guy was wearing it and he looked at me and he said, take that off right now Alex.


And I was like, no.

I’m not, I’m not even gonna lie.

I thought I was kind of like getting away with it and I came home and I was like smoky eye what?

Like I don’t even I think guys are kind of curious to see what they know.

Like they’re like, I wish Sofia was so harassed and then you come home and you’re like, nope.


They all are like her ass must be horrific budget.

He was like, I know goddamn.

Well what is under there?

Or actually, I don’t know because I don’t but I know I don’t want to see it.

I love it.

Literally the day, I’m Rocky because okay.


What is ours are working here?

I would do it every day.

And then you told me that I’m like, you know, I’m just gonna, I’m gonna be me and I’m gonna let my ass be my ass and like you, you You, you haven’t worn it like this in a while.

This wasn’t plan.

Hey, sorry, I’m sorry we can move on.


Girls are wondering what the hell to do about the makeup situation in the?



Yes, girls are like my makeup is they look like fucking Captain Jack Sparrow with their mascara, running down the face and like there’s splotched foundation and it’s disgusting.


Look terrifying.

Yeah, if you’re planning on hanging out with the guy for a little bit, which is It’s I mean alarming and why are you staying there?

After you fuck.

It was like, what are these supposed to do?

Do they just rock it and be like, fucking natural beauty baby or do they like, hurry run to the bathroom and put a little bit of makeup on?


Oh my God, because I want to know from guys.

Like let us know.

Like would it freak you out?

If all of a sudden you wake up and this girl has like a full-blown cat eye.

I don’t like she goes to the bathroom because she had makeup in her bag and she Run to the bathroom redoes, it like lace out on the pillow and acting.


She woke up like that.

I like, but you don’t even look like that last night.

Yeah, I think that could be kind of scared.

I think this is what we’re going to say.

Put on his fucking hoodie.

Put the hood on.


Have him call you an Uber?

Get the fuck out of there, guys.

Okay, this is the etiquette for men for men.


Okay, so girls don’t have to worry about this problem.

Okay, you call her an Uber you.

Let her pick, whatever fucking Hood?


Yes, and you don’t make eye contact.

On time to time.

You keep your head down, fuck.


Don’t look her in the eye and you just have an Uber waiting for her.



But I mean, it just is weird.

The whole makeup thing.

One of the like this guy dated said he was fucking around with this girl who would literally like put her face on his chest and not move the entire night without her makeup.

Like would not smudge at all guys.


Do you hear what we have to go through?

I could not do that.

I couldn’t physically fall.


And make sure that I went like, wasn’t moving my face.

Oh, I’ve done that before.

You don’t really sleep.

You just hate your fucking life.

Okay, men need to be men need to understand.

We go through a lot for you guys.


We do.

Also this girl, he told me that the morning after he like left his keys in her room and he went upstairs to go, grab his keys from her.

Oh no, and that she cracked the door open and threw the keys out.


The she taking off her makeup already and then slam the doors of I could not see her without it on.

I mean this shit guys have to.

We have to go through shit.

The shit, guys have to go through, guys get full on Catfish, on a daily basis, dude.


It’s okay.

I mean should we just get into it?

Yeah, it’s it’s gotten to a point that it’s out of control.

There is one thing to go from social media.


To in person.

Yep, and then to go from in person to no makeup.


Yeah, we are actually catfishing the world one man at a time.

You’re like a Nemours legit turning into like different angle.

And I don’t know if guys have any I know guys have an idea because like the whole facetune thing.


It let’s talk about that face tuning.

I think you and I just need to address it because listen, Sophie and I are not fucking sitting here saying, I live never photoshopped a picture and I’ve never, I actually don’t have not use FaceTime FaceTime because I Use it.

But I just wanted to tell every girl out there.


We have had people write in and be like, dude, help.

My goddamn friend, right?

Her face.

Looks like two eyes and a mouth.

Her face is a smudge.

Like yes.

Yeah, and it is so bad girls.

It is so bad.


If you are using facetune, I think we need to come up with a system that you have to have a friend approved before you post a picture.

From now on out, if you’re in the daddy gang.

You need to have an honest friend that will say yes or no.

It is an epidemic.

You see it on Instagram.


It’s just gotten.

So out of control.

I was hanging out with this guy and he was showing me this girl showing me a bunch of pictures and he’s like, tell me, this isn’t the hottest girl ever and I was like, holy shit like this girl’s beautiful.


He was like, this is not her.


He was like, I’ve seen her in person.

This is not her.

She’s probably a two in person and I hate judging girls on a scale, but No, yeah, it’s ridiculous.

When you look like a completely different person.

That’s a nice social.

I’m all about helping yourself up.


Do a little tweak.

Make yourself look beautiful, but guys or girls you do understand eventually, you’re gonna need to meet this guy and he’s gonna be like these girls are living through their social media.

Can we talk about the one instagram girl?


Let’s just fucking call her out.

This is, this is probably really fucked up.



Okay, because we have, we Have we both have a connection?

I’ve seen her in person before and then your guy friend has fucked her before.


There is this Instagram model.

She has 1.7 million followers on Instagram.


Although her Instagram.

She does look fake as shit.

She has like a fake but they just speak, which is fine.

But in person.

Yeah, it’s terrifying.

I’ll exterior saw her in person.

Oh my God, and you were like.

That is not the girl that I saw on Instagram.


No, like she just looks like a glowed up.

Like, you know, like a lot like plastic.

I’m like go for it.

Fake tits, whatever in person, right?

I don’t even know how to call my guy friend fucked her.

They had a sleepover and derailed her in the ass here.


Said that.

The next morning, when they woke up, and they were like eating breakfast.

He said it was as if the girl he had fucked the night before left.

And like the maid came into like join him for like eggs benedict.

He’s like who is that?

He said she go wears it and add that it was a Pletely different human being than the night because all of her makeup came all of her makeup.


I mean, he said, just meeting her from her social media.

She was a different person and then the next morning he was, it’s a catfish Stitch.

It is and listen.


Oh, fuck.

This is such a hard topic because I, we have you and I have absolutely fixed, our pictures.


Are you having a Lily?

And let me get that bread.

Baby terms of being fake and like lip injections and all the shit.

I plan on getting one day.

We’re getting in and Botox to the Absolutely, but it’s not about getting the work done.

It’s about the facetune dude, if you, okay, this is also just a quick disclaimer for men because I know this doesn’t relate to as much if you are a guy.


Yeah, and you are fucking fixing your teeth to be whiter and your Instagram pictures.

You will not be getting men are not allowed to have faced tuner Photoshop or anything.


Nope, if I catch a guy doing that, I’m like, holy shit.



While we’re on the topic of catfishing, we’re going to break some men’s Hearts right now and girls were not trying to expose you, but we’ve got to do it myself nudes.


Now, what is nudes have to do with catfishing?

You may ask come boys.

Every girl at one point, I mean there are some girls that probably haven’t girls are photoshopping their nudes now.


Nothing is real.

Not our producer just slammed his his headphones down like fuck.


Not one thing.

You are receiving from a girl is real anymore.

No, it is, it’s shock.

It is shocking guys.

The tits, the ass their tightened bigger, made small, everything is being cinched.

And when they’re sending you nudes to your iPhone, you can best believe there was Touch-ups done.


Absolute like I texted male X this morning because I was like for research purposes.

I’m like, hey, like have you ever noticed any of the girls that have sent you nudes?

That they like Photoshop them and he’s like, no never.

And I’m like, well, you’re wrong because you’ve sent me all of your nudes that you’ve gotten and almost every single girl.

The the mirror in the background is like bent in because she sensed your wrath.


It’s sad, right?

That’s the thing.

Is that like guys can’t tell they have a good idea.

That’s why knuth low key word.

Fuck that shit.

Know we could have just let them live in la-la land.

Speaking orgasms.

No, girls, keep doing it.

Because low-key guys won’t even notice.

Yeah, but this is also another thing, because we had a guy in the office.


Actually, at Barstool came out to us, was like, yo, like my boy, like couldn’t believe that this girl sent him a nude in Snapchat, but she did it.

Where if you go to their chat, it’s in there indefinitely right now, to break it down, for you guys for a for ass picture to stay indefinitely in your Chat messages.


It’s because it was uploaded from the camera roll.

You can’t keep a Snapchat.

That’s just snap chatted on Snapchat.

It has to be she uploaded a picture camera.

Now, every guy is like, holy shit.

Now every time that that guy goes to their chat, the new is there forever.


So he’s like, holy shit.

This girl’s ballsy like she was willing to keep that in my conversation.

No, no sweetie.

She did that because she edited the shit out of her body pretending because We all know guys are dumb as shit, like that guy said he genuinely believes that she’s like I wanted to have it forever.


So every time he comes into the conversation, he thinks of me and sees that new right?

Know every single thing is just Faking.

It is.

So like, guys are screaming right now.

They are mine.

I’m so sorry.

The, I we just have to touch on it.

The fucking filter would like, the, and like the going in right on the hearts were both, like it’s cute.


Like all even do it.

Everyone time.

I look like a fucking Golem crawled out of, and a throw that filter on, I need to, like, throw this on whatever that’s fine.

If every single one of your pictures has that it’s so bad.


You guys just need to stop.

That’s what the guy was talking to was like I, at this point in my life and terrified of women because I don’t know what the fuck.


I’m going to be procreating with if I see a woman and I think she’s cute.

What if I splash water all over her or I take the filter off her?

And I literally, yeah, so I think girls, if we can give you any bit of, and listen, we are not fucking shitting on you.


Oh my God, definitely touched up, dude.

Think about that picture.

We were working with a couple months.

Oh my God, I have this picture where my body looked fire.

She looks like a fucking God.

I face.

I look like I was constipated.

It was terrifying.

I approached Alex.


I’m like, I need to show my body.

Like I need to show this major for myself out here.

Alright, I need the light and I was like, how do I just take my face from another picture and I was like, as we put it on to this body.


Oh, Sofia was literally suggesting.

Can we somehow Photoshop?


One of my other pictures faces onto the right?

I said, no.

No, we’re fine.

I literally end up photoshopping sunglasses on to her head and we threw that choke on Instagrams my body.

You guys it’s my face with there are fake sunglasses that I wearing.

Okay, and they’re tinted as fuck doing end of the day called her daddy.



We support the shit girls.

Keep fucking photoshopping shit, but you gotta have a friend that you can kind of get an in-between with the facetune, some girls.

Love you girlfriend, but you just got to reel it in a little bit and then we’re good.

Keep doing the smoothing of the skin.

We got you but you gotta stop doing every Snapchat as a Snapchat filter guys.


Don’t think 24/7 the fucking dog filters cute.

It annoys the shit out of honestly just be a little bit more authentic.

Like I don’t fucking look like Adriana Lima.

I wish I did but I don’t and I’m not going to Photoshop.

All thankfully.

Your fuck better than Adriana Lima, though, hashtag other episode.


What episode did we call her?

Moving on, but I don’t look like her.

So I’m not gonna spend hours making myself look like her.

Don’t try to do that.

It’ll never happen.

I’m scale of you.

Okay, let’s let’s get into our a little story time.


This was kind of brought up randomly, but you and I were talking about what because we talked about masturbating the week before we left for break and you had mentioned, you had like a story or a A topic you want to talk about.


So Sofia you have the floor baby.

I was hooking up with this guy who’s now my ex-boyfriend.

Yes, and we kept hearing noises outside the bedroom.

He went to open the door.


His friend was like super fucked up, but how his pants around his ankles dick out lotion and was like masturbating outside of the door listening to us.

Okay, thousand was one.

Incidentally, he that was one incident.


There was another incident, okay?

With this same guy.

We were hooking up and his roommate like the next day was like, Hey, like I heard you guys like I got like a great like, fucking like jacking off session to it.


Okay, that’s two guys that have confessed that well one didn’t confess.

Yeah, you open the door and you’re like, oh, dick out was the confession, the other.


Just straight up said it.

What the fuck.


So is this a thing?


This is a thing.

This is a total actually.


Yeah, I’m I we made a joke about it.

I said like, oh and I hear Alex like, oh, grob lube.

And yeah, go to town.

I’ve never fucking done that.

No eyes.

I like to turn the TV up if I hear you.

I’m right.

Oh, do your thing girl, but I’m not about to pull out my vibrator and go to town know.


I think this is a thing with God.

This is reminding me.

Okay, so I remember, I don’t have to get into the whole story, but basically, MILF Hunter was D peeing.

This girl, with his friend, casual casual.

He did say, well actually, we can help guys out to how to, like, get a threesome or DP.


He said he had this girl.

That was like really slutty down for a loss.

He was like, there was so many times like I would text my group chat being like what, what else should I ask this girl to do?

Like she would send me her dildo, going it out of her and then she take it out and film herself, like deepthroating in and then putting licking her.



Yes, her comment deep throat and turned out beautiful stuff, you know creative.


Yeah, so he was like, so I knew that there was a huge opportunity for me to have a DP for it with this girl.

If you guys again, don’t know what opportunities were endless with this and if you guys again don’t know what a DP is double penetration in the in the button.


Well, we don’t be the mouth.

We don’t mean I think it really does have to be the butt and the b or two in the v or two in the butt to in the face.

We got to talk about on another episode, totally going.

So he’s like, all right.


I texted this girl and I said like, hey, what are you doing tonight?

She’s like fucking you.

And she was like, he was like, well, I’m hanging out fucking you.

Here we go.

And then he was like, well my boys coming over and let’s say his name is Josh.


I don’t know, fucking random name.

All right, he’s like well, if you want to come over, you need, I want to know.

Make sure you’re down to have fun with me and And in all caps Josh and she was like, absolutely yes.


What a wingman.

And what a woman, what a woman and he was like, are you sure?

Because I’m not going to have Josh over and then you only pay attention to me and give to me and she was like, absolutely, I’m on my way, my, I’m my mouth, my Jaws, jaws.


Like here we go.

Okay, my holes are ready.

So she comes over there in the room, hanging out, whatever.

They’re drinking taking shots having fun.

The next thing, you know.

No Milf Hunter gets up and just turned off the light.

She sits down in the chair tells her to come over this girl, obviously knows what she’s doing.


She gets down takes his dick out its soft and literally sucks.

It hard.

I love my describing.

I’m loving this.

You look excited.

So she sucks at hard and then finally, he keeps trying to motion to Josh like, because it’s dark, he can’t.


And he’s like, snapping.

He’s trying to get his attention Josh.

The know when to come in because I don’t think Josh has ever done this.

Okay, so milk hunter gets on his goddamn fucking phone and text him and goes take out your dick and put it in her fucking pussy.

So his friend Josh comes on over takes his pants off and just starts railing this bitch from behind.


Well, she’s down on his dick.

So this is like this is not the point of the story just to clarify.

I mean guys that is Child’s Play.

Let’s get into the story now.

Okay, so they’re all their fucking there.

Switching positions and all of a sudden their phones are blowing up.


It’s like, what the fuck is going on.

What’s Happening whenever okay, finally met Lex.

I also love how he just casually always just has his phone mid-fuck.

It’s like, okay, what the fuck’s going on?

He checks his phone and there buddy is texting them, in all caps saying, I’m ready.


I’m ready?

Tag me in tag Tony in classic.

He is outside with his pants.

Down jacking off to porn on his phone asking if she can take more and if she’s ready for more.

And if one of them is about to finish, so he can tag in.



And get in her in her mouth.


I what that makes so much sense as to why the guy was standing outside of the room, masturbating when me and like my boyfriend were hit, you think he wanted to join in.



I think that’s exactly gibeon.

No, I thought that’s exactly what it was.

Like, I think he was like wait, Eating for that, like who knew in seventh grade tag was going to have a very different form a meeting?

When my coffee you think you’re like.

Hey you have off each other’s hand get on the field.

So I guess, I guess what may Lex said he did was he was like, do you want more like do you want more?


And he said at this point this girl has been taking it for so long mascara was on the hardwood floor.

Like this girl was taking deep throats to the back of the fucking throat.

Guzzling both, men’s come and she literally looks up at him with dick in her mouth.

And she was like, yes, so the fucking other You may get in after male X comes and he sits down and starts getting his dick sucked.


Okay, this is a normal girl.

Okay, so there’s two guys.

They’re doing a DP.

Yeah, one of them leaves tags his friend in and then friend has already been like masturbating, right?

So he’s hard.

He’s ready to go and he’s ready to get to town.

I, it’s really thank you for sharing that story.


I it’s your well, it’s like fucking 9 a.m.

You can’t wait to finish my coffee, but honestly, I don’t know.

Know why.

But guys, I guess are turned on by listening to other people in the Next Room.

Not all guys.

Yeah, I producers looking at me like, hey, our groceries, not a fucking creep, but like, no, I also think it’s confusing because we want to say, listen.


I’m where I’m not saying we’re prudes, like if you’re having a threesome with another girl you’re into it, but I just don’t I can’t see myself in my bed touching myself while you’re getting fucked.

You know what I mean toad, which I’m sure girls have done but guys like to stand outside the door and be ready to Literally come all over the doors.


They don’t tag you.

Hey, but I mean like my ex-boyfriends roommate, right?

He had no plans on coming in.

He was just like he was just feeling at all.

I don’t know.

I guys.

Can you please write in to us?

I don’t know if that’s if it’s a turn-on or what I would add.

Yeah, I would love to know guys right into the website and let us know if you’ve ever jacked off while your boy is getting fucked.


Or were you doing it?

Because you were hoping to God that you got tagged in.

Let’s get into questions.

Yeah, the beautiful realm of questions.

This is a good one.

I was texting my boyfriend, the other day during class later during class.


I was presenting via AirPlay.

The whole class could see my screen and the text started popping up as he replied some dirty stuff.

The whole class thought, as well as my professor.

At first.

I was super-embarrassed mortified wanted to die.

But after thinking about it, if I had been someone else, I would have been like, damn girl Gallop get it, I guess.


Just have to embrace it.


That is my worst fear.


I remember every single time.

I was in school, having to do a presentation.

I was like, I gotta delete every single thing on my desk.


I got like Nudes on that sucker, like your history or if you’re showing anyone, your goddamn computer.


Like sometimes I’ll like, God, can you help me?

And meanwhile, this guy is like, oh no fucking suck your clit off guy.

Like you’re like sometimes I’ll be like, oh my God, like let me show you something.

I pull up the internet on my phone.

It’s like porn.


All right.

How about I get there?


Okay next, don’t you guys hate?


When guys, push your head down when you’re giving head.

I’m surprised you guys didn’t talk about it.

On the blowjob episode.

We’re sorry.

I literally yell at guys to stop.

This is what I think.

Oh, this is hard.

I mean Alex is like fucking yes.


Yes, let him push you.


Keep your weight.

Honestly, if it’s in the early stages of the relationship, if a guy does that to me, I get pretty pissed off.


I just think it’s all about the vibe girls.


We all have a different limit.

And I think if he’s doing that, am I move would be pull off of his dick and, and slap him.


No, no.

Well, you could do that, too.

I’m kind of happy.

Always you or, actually, you could turn it into something really hot.

You could look up at him and say, don’t touch me until I tell you to, and like, you go back down and make eye contact, and then you put your hands behind.


Behind your back and like look at him while you’re sucking his dick, with no hands.

So he backs off back off and now it’s just your mouth and that mouth.


I said this a million times?

I really wish.

I had a penis because I need you to want.

The Cooper special.

I have one.

Someone damned us this.


Okay, this one of my girlfriend, she’s a superhot blonde.

She uses hinchey match with this guy.

They made plans to hang out on Monday night and all Monday goes by and she doesn’t hear from him.

So that the boss says, bitch she is, she doesn’t text him, she waits for him to reach out.

He never reaches out.

Next morning on Tuesday.


She woke up to a text, not a Snapchat, a text video of him.

Fucking another girl from behind raw.

She responded what the fuck?

And he read it and didn’t respond.

What the fuck?

Do you guys make of this?

Do you want, do you think it was on accident?


Did he think he was sending it to the other girl?

What do you guys think?

Absolutely, if they were both pulling on, it was totally knocks.

Yeah, because what really, what would be the point?

What’s the motive?

There’s one thing.

If you guys had been fucking around and he was basically trying to Piss you off.

We hadn’t even hung out with the dude.


I didn’t even know you.

I bet you ain’t his phone as blond, number two from hinge and she was blonde.

Number one.

And he got the numbers.

Maybe he was like drunk with his friends and just send it as like a joke, but I think it’s if you haven’t hung out yet.

There’s I personally think there’s no other reason other than he fucked up.


There’s no art.

There’s because at the end of the he hasn’t fucked you yet.

He still probably why.

I mean the contacts in his phone or probably like hinge girl one.


That’s what?

Yeah, that’s why he’s so I think that’s did you not hear me, you know.

If I can hear you just like so nice.

I can’t hear every single fucking thing.


Okay, I can me out.

All right, bring us another one, right.

This question.

Okay, relates to me, specifically, this guy went to BYU, which, okay, in Utah is pretty much the college.

You go to if your LDS Mormon, Mormon, what is LDS n4i?


Saturday Saints?



So this girl lives in Utah.

She was fucking around with this Mormon guy.

He went on a mission. - which is fine.

She said, they went on a couple of dates.

They were hooking up.

They got butt ass naked, and they were about to have sex, and he refused to put the p in the v.


So after a couple minutes, doing this awkward, little dance, trying to get it in, she stopped.

And she was like, okay, what’s going on?

He wouldn’t make eye contact and he just kind of held me there.

The entire time his cock was in between my lips and he is just casually, rubbing it everywhere but inside Okay, after up point, five seconds, I got up yelled at him and left.


I addressed this in a blog that I wrote a while ago.

This is a real fucking thing.


I don’t even know what to say, right.

Hot dog in a bun.

It’s literally you don’t put your dick inside her vagina.

You just rub it on the outside of her vagina and like these people are like convincing themselves that it’s okay.


Because it’s like not penetration.

Oh, cuz they’re not allowed to have sex.


Holy fuck.

They’re so.

Breasts are literally doing that like this guy like it’s just so crazy me like the loopholes that people go.

So he is literally rubbing his dick just on the outside of her vagina and like he thinks that feels good.


Well, not even that but like he thinks that that’s okay for some reason but going inside and you fucking imagine being that girl be like, hey, you can go in now right at the fucking.


What the fuck?

Where is he’s like, no, I’m good.

Right outside.

Like I’m not good.



Oh, it’s just I I brought it up because a lot of people are interested to know more about like the Mormon culture and in Utah.

It’s really crazy and the shit they do.

I mean, you guys have heard about soaking when you just stick it in and you sit there.

You just don’t.

Um, there’s this.


I soaking.

Yeah, I dug in and I’m screaming in my mind right now.

But like what would I do?

It’s really crazy.

So we got is crazy though, because I feel like such, there are some people that are uneducated on that topic.

If a guy was doing that to me, I would reach down there and shove Like, all right.


Did they do it?

Start bawling his eyes on be like, take me to the priesthood.


So anyways, I worry about in a different episode of you guys are interested in.

Yeah, let us know.

It’s kind of crazy.

I would love to know more.

I never asked you about that.

I’m going to pick your brain amongst other things.


All right guys.


Happy New Year.

This year.

The daddy gang.


Is gonna grow.


We are going to have.

I we are planning at some point.

We want to do meet ups.

I’d have a fuck.


Daddy party.

A fucking fucking fun rager.


I want to do now with everyone and just going to be so good.

I was thinking about it.

I think we got a start like a Facebook group or something.

Where like all of us can just be on their tacos at the end of the day, weeks of Loki’s, her to call her daddy dating app.

So everyone that’s a daddy can just to hurt me.

Fucking, you really should we need to like, create a forum.


We do just all talk to each other.

Let us know if you guys actually think that’s a good idea.

We haven’t thought about it yet.

I just I’m a fucking brilliant.

Mastermind is a genius and I Riding the coattails you guys but it’s fine.

If you guys would be down because I feel like guys want to fuck the voodoo clam and girls wanna, you know, get the goddamn couch God, whose gobblers.


So let us know guys.

We love you so much.

Happy fucking New Year.

I hope you’re all off to a great start this year.

I’m still drunk from New Year’s.

I love you guys so much.

Yes, we will.

See you next Wednesday.

I can’t wait.

Love you.

Daddy gang.

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