Call Her Daddy - 22 - Condom Poker


Call him daddy.

Do I call her daddy?

Call her daddy.

Sophia put your headphones on.

Let’s go.

We’re here.

Daddy gang.

Daddy’s, what’s up, guys?


I’m feeling some type of way.


We’re in a fucking mood today.

Little loosey-goosey.

We’re in the studio, and we started an hour late because we’ve been playing music.

Sophia, put her sunglasses on, and we’re just in a mood.


This is going to be more of an experimental podcast.

This one may be a little different.


Okay, I guess when we release this Valentine’s Day.

It would be tomorrow.


Yeah, whoa, girls shave your vagina guys, trim.


Those pubes, trim them up, get after it.

Okay, we posted a video of we mentioned last podcast that I had taken a music video of a guys genitalia.

And what do you call a music video?


I took a music video and we posted it to the call her daddy.

Instagram which no one thought we were going to do.

We, I mean, we threw an emoji over, you know, his dick.

Well just because also like we’ve had such issues in the past, with our Instagram, getting taken down and we were like, you know what, you can’t just post up flaccid penis on in.


What do you mean?

She’s like we’ve gone in trouble in the past so we can’t really get away.

No, but like, we straight up where like I want to post this video because I want people to know that we’re being dead ass.

Like we straight up have these videos.


We’re not lying about these stories.

So Sofia and I posted the video of the guy’s dick for what?

Like I made.

You keep it up longer than you wanted to put it up for five minutes and I started to get scared but we probably had it up there for like 15 minutes.

The reason I brought it up is because people were more appalled by the pubic hair.


Oh my God, they were calling it like Chewbacca, except they’re like, I thought this was like Chewbacca’s dick, which I like thought the same thing.

I forgot how much hair he had down there.

I don’t hair doesn’t really, but that was like a bushel, like imagine.

Well, I’m just thinking, I think it’s gross when you’re sucking dick and you go down and like, is half of it.


You get like a hair brushes are about tickle.


There we go.

I’m just pretty.

So I hope everyone’s excited for Valentine’s Day though.


I mean, we’re not getting shit know, are we, I mean, should we get each other something?

But I mean, like, do you think a boy is gonna send you shit?

No me either.


Why not?

It’s because we’re keeping too.

Side hose and we have an anointed anyone in Maine.

Maybe, you know, we got to do.

We got to quickly do that before tomorrow.

Yeah, so we can get a gift.

We can just be like, hey, like I think we should wrap it up to the next level which means tomorrow night, like bitch.

I know you want to give them like so whatever.


All right, so that’s that’s just our little update.

Um, and so if you have like 10 boyfriend’s right now, humble ravan 11, it’s really getting annoying.

I need to fill my roster quickly.

I double tap responses.

Is this?


Oh baby.

Okay, so.

Oh, sorry, fucking sorry.


So, um, double tap responses in the past.

I have talked about read receipts and I didn’t realize how many people were going to be like start using them, and I think it’s really created a goddamn movement.


So double tap responses.

If you don’t know what a double tap responses, I’m pretty sure you have to have an iPhone to do this.

I don’t actually don’t know what the fuck a Samsung does.

So I truly am.


If you’re a Samsung user, do they have them?

I have, you’re asking me.


Yeah, I don’t know shit about, I don’t know.

But so you I know that the the the iPhone has these.

So basically if you double tap, someone’s message, a list of options appear.

I know you all know this but in case anyone doesn’t so the options are, you can hard it, you can thumbs up for like you In down for dislike, you can haha to laugh at it or exclamation.


And then there’s a question, mark option.

I want everyone to add the double top response to their goddamn Arsenal.

That’s why I just can’t anymore.

I just I like watch Alex like maneuver and manipulate men and I’m like, okay, so you hard and then you unharmed and then you give him an exclamation point and then we do not read and then go to sleep and then you take the read receipt.


So I’m like, holy shit.

Really is The game, but if you can execute it properly your Gucci, so I want to get into a little bit of like a sermon about these double tap responses because guys, I promise you, if you start using them girls and guys, it’s another way like read receipts to just finesse the game.


So read receipts are so good.

Obviously for many instances, but the double tap response, I think because there are so many options, legit, it can fit into any combo depending on how you want to use them.

So, I’m You guys like straight-up examples that I was thinking about.


Let’s say the king fuckboi that you’re fucking with or the deceitful floor.

That’s being a little disobedient slowly.

I was reading the words or let’s say they text you saying they miss you the classic.


The fuck boy slides.

In the fuck girl slides in and you’re like, of course you miss me bitch.

This is where if you want to keep the convo going guys, because listen there are times if you want to leave them on red because you’re just like, fuck it.

I want them to know him ignoring them.

You can use the double tap girls.


And guys, you’re going to leave it on red and you’re going to double tap there.

I miss you with a haha.

Okay, this shows obviously your reaction to it, but you’re not going to respond.

And therefore I promise you.

If you respond respond, haha, to someone saying, I miss you or like, like thinking about you anything like that.


They’re going to be so insecure and they’re going to double text you, okay?

Sophia’s like taking notes.


No, I love that guy.

What about if you give them a heart.

So that there’s a difference between that.

Okay, so and I’m going to get to that because the heart the haha is more of a mind.



Because he’s going to be like.

So why are you laughing?

It’s like no, it’s cute.

Babe, like love that and he’s like, okay, but at the end of the day, the haha makes him double text and feel insecure.

The heart doesn’t make them insecure if you want to make them insecure.

As I’m speaking fuck-boy and deceitful floor.


Let me give you another example, so it’s really clear.

Let’s say you’re talking to a hookup and you ask them like a serious question and they completely bypass it and they just carry on the combo.

How many times?

I also fuckin happened men.

Like you send a guy a paragraph and he has one questions.


Can only answer like one question or respond to like one comment.


It’s so fucking annoying.

I will literally if I have three things to say, I’ll say One thing in the wait for him, send the next thing.

Wait for him to make sure I get everything fucking nail.

You have to either they’re just like being completely aloof or they are obviously avoiding answering the question.


So so your hook you’re talking to your hookup and you ask a question and you completely bypasses it.

This is when guys you leave that on read to whatever he answered and then if you want the convo to You, you are going to put an exclamation mark on your last text.


Does that make sense?

Yeah, that absolutely makes sense.

So you’re gonna double tap is your last message basically?

Being like hi.


No, I asked you a question in that text answer.


Is that similar to like a double text kind of from who, like I’m just saying, like, Okay, so you text something and he doesn’t respond to what you asked, right?


Then you’re going to throw the exclamation point isn’t that similar to just being like she know this is the beauty of it.


That allows you to not send a new text.

It’s like by you putting an exclamation point on your own text message.

You aren’t following up and asking again.


Yeah, just literally emphasize emphasizing it and that’s huge because then you don’t have to text mogambo loss and then he is forced to double taxed and answer that question, right?

Okay, now let’s talk about About it because you don’t always have to do it in a fucked-up way.

Okay, let’s say you’re sexting and he tells you how much he loves you giving him head, you’re going to read it.


And then you can love it.

Press the heart on it.

And then you can follow up with a sex that makes him know that you like, when he says stuff like that, like, Let Your Man know the guy you’re talking to let the girl know when you like shit, especially when you’re talking dirty, like like that shit.



Say you your fuck buddy text you saying hey, I want to see you tonight.

But you want to keep them on their toes a little bit.

Okay, you’re going to love that or like it because you’re down to fuck.

You want to play a little bit of a game.


You don’t be like, okay.



Let’s go.

He’s like, I want to see you tonight.

You’re going to thumbs-up it or you’re going to hard it that way if they really want it.

Yeah, they have to then follow up with a double tax being like, okay.

So do you want to hang out?

They have to like go the Extra mile, I think this is the thing.


The benefit of the double tap responses.

Are that unlike read receipts?

It is a response.

Although it’s not a real reply.

You have to understand that people are getting a notification.

When you double tap.

It shows up as a message which read receipts aren’t ya, so it can fuck with someone like, oh, she texted me and then you fucking see an exclamation point.


You’re like, what the fuck bitch?


So, I think my point to this is like the possibilities are endless with the double tap and the double tap.

Ed receipt combo is undefeated.

Like if you’re really trying to fuck with someone and make them insecure.


This is the way to go to also keep the convo going.

I would not be able to if I can keep up with that shit.

I know I’m hoping I’m explaining it, right.

It’s just like, you have to keep in mind that with the double tap.

They’re always gonna be the last one that responded even though technically, you’re kind of last one and that’s huge.


Like it’s like, well, I want to see you late night.

You laugh at it.

You read it and you laugh at that shit, I usually Use it.

Um, I actually have used it when someone doesn’t answer the question.

I asked all emphasize this.

Yeah, and then if someone says something that doesn’t really warrant a response but like I’m really into the guy or like my friend then I’ll give it a like a heart.



Those are the pretty great generic ones and I think everyone listening my point of this is like read receipts are so beautiful.

Like you can throw those things on.

Turn them off.

Fuck with someone.

This is just there’s a lot of times I think people are like How do I know when to leave them on read or not?


If you want to keep the conversation going or you even want to add a double layer of a mind?

Fuck, you’re going to throw in a haha.

You’re going to put an exclamation point because at the end of the day that warrants them possibly sending a double tag, and that’s the goal.


The double text is the goddamn fucking gold double top.


Double text from the double tap.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

It’s a lot.

They will double text you because you double-tapped.

Got it.

Do you feel that?

I feel your vagina in.

Inside inside and around.

Okay, Alex, didn’t you say that like your friend sent a nude and the guy double top?



I can you imagine he hard it?

It she sent a fire a snood and this guy hearted her fucking nude.

When I say that, I block people easily.

This guy would be blocked within milliseconds.


I was fucking doing.

I would love to release your blocked list on your phone.

How many fucking guys are but no do do if listen ladies if a guy ever ever fucking dare double?

Double tap response to a fucking knew.


Oh my God, motherfucker is dead and gone and I will not be hearing from you and you are going to post that on your fucking story until you get the right goddamn respond, right?

You’re gonna send that new to 20 guys, like that is not a fucking acceptable thing.

Holy shit.


That’s That’s just not.



Condom talk.

Oh my God.

It’s a condom.

I don’t know.

That was an intro.

If I’ve ever heard one.

We were talking about condoms.

And what the fuck, did you call it?


I called it.

It feels like you’re getting fucked by a hot.

Dog wrapped in a plastic bag from your local fucking shop.


That’s what I called.

It’s fucking awful.

I have suck ass.

That’s a truth.

And I’m sorry.

Everybody would rather go fucking raw dog with a condom.

But the thing is is you don’t.


Have a baby.

You can get a nice TV that thing I forgot about that, you know, no, all right in all seriousness guys.

Like it’s just crazy.

No one uses condoms anymore.

No, nobody, no.

No one.

No one.

No one.

Like when you are about to hook up with a guy, it’s not even a fucking questions, really not even brought up.


They don’t even have one in their wallet anymore.


It’s it is really crazy to me like these older men.


Successful and they’re like in their fucking 30s and 40s and they’re not even bringing up a condom.

How do you know about?



Ha ha ha.

You’re like what?

No, I agree.

Any guy that I have hooked up with that’s older.

I like, I’m literally mid sex and I’m like wait.

Yeah wait and it’s like, where’s that thing?

That’s Rubber and then the 19 year olds are like got to put one on where they’re at least like they have them and they like pouring out of their pocket like you should we use this?


Yeah, and then you could say fuck off but like, at least they are.

Offer hurdle, these are being, I don’t know.

Okay, I’ve never told a guy to, like, fuck off when he brought a condom that would scare me as a guy, if a girl was like, get that out of my face.

Like, okay, I’m putting two on.


No, but actually, that is a really good topic to bring up because I was talking to Milf Hunter, and we were talking about this thing called condom poker, and it is such a thing and people are probably like, wait.

What does that mean?


Poker is a game that everybody plays.

You probably just don’t know you’re playing it.



So what’s a little Wayne song?

It’s like safe.

Sex is great sex better wear latex, because you don’t want to got ballet text that I’m late tag.



Nobody wants to fuck an STD know.

Not many people that I know of want like an unplanned kid.

But like I just said, let’s be completely honest.


I mean, Sofia don’t don’t be a fucking liar.

Sitting across from me.

Raw sex is better than fucking condom sack.


Thank you.

I just I’m glad you at least admit it.

You know, I can me feel like a fucking no.

No, I think a woman can’t tell as much as a fucking guy.



I met a fucking unicorn of a man the other day and he was telling me like condoms aren’t even that bad.

If you just get the super ultra thin ones and I was shikha, ‘The to my core, a man who said that condoms aren’t married, marry him now Harold.


So the whole thing about the condom poker Mill punter.


He brought to me the condom poker because he said in a guy’s mind.

Which is kind of crazy because it’s like on the guy usually, to like have the condom, which shouldn’t be a job, but there are guys that look at a girl and they either think I’m going to fuck her raw, or do.


I need to use a condom with this sides fucking insane?

Because it’s like like, okay.

So the guy sees a girl that looks like an a librarian and he’s just going to be like, oh don’t need to wear a condom like shut the fuck up.

She is probably the closet horror.

Yeah, you never know.


So, He basically gave me like a couple things that give a guy the go-ahead to use a condom or not.

So he said, first of all the classic if it just seems too easy.

Like let’s be honest.

He said, like pussy makes guys feel like the man.

A lot of men get sucked in whole like oh this must just for being for me blah blah.


Meanwhile, he was like, yeah, she’s probably like that for the whole fucking football team.

So he said a lot of guys, you need to put your ego aside and know when it’s just too plain easy.

Don’t put chips down on Raw sex like it’s just not itchy.

In the pussy at you and the same goes for girls girls if he is the biggest fuck.


Fuck boy boy boy if he’s the biggest, fuck boy in town and he’s just trying to fuck you here.

He smashes and dashes every night.

You got to be smart about that.


Are you condoning this condom poker thing?

I don’t know.

Let me just finish my right and they’ll decide, um, that turns into the whole investigating their mileage.


This is something that Milt Hunter talks about.

It’s home.

So fucking eyes are so dry.

So investigating their mileage, guys.

You should be asking, mutual friends.

Hey, do you know anyone that’s fucked, her too?


You know, anyone that’s fucked him.

And if everyone’s like me and my grandmother and my sister, my cousin everyone’s, I was it interesting.

Yeah, if everyone’s fucks that person, that’s another little inclination.

Like, just be weary, but but to the next point, if these people, when you go To get down and dirty with them.


If she asks, do you have a condom Ben?

You don’t need to use the condom legit.

If she asks if you have a condom or if the guy asks, do you have a condom?



Then Yoki don’t need to use a gun because like oh, so they practice.

It’s like so this time for me again be wrong.

And if you bring a condom and the person says get that shit out of my face that you better put it the fuck on.

No, but it’s true because it will all jokes aside.


I think this is the thing.

Everyone needs to be smart.

I’m not going to sit here and fucking front.

Everyone is going to walk around and be like condoms condoms.

No one’s fucking using condoms anymore.

So on call her daddy.

I’m just being real with it.

I’m going to say if you’re going to try to have raw sex.


You got to look like I just said, is it too easy, investigate their mileage and investigate.


Did she even?

If I have a condom or did he even ask if I become on me, he go around in his nightstand and which I can see and melt Hunter did say if she has a condom with her and brings it out when you’re about to fuck.


Some guys would think.

Oh, she’s a whore right now.

I didn’t.

Oh, no, he said a smart guy who listens to call her.

Daddy will know that if she’s practicing safe sex, then you’re basically, you’re you’re good to go raw, you’re good to go in raw, but, uh, oh, I think Listen, it’s I mean, do you agree with me that there everyone’s fucking Raw?


Yes, sad to say I agree with you that everyone is doing that.

I just like want people to know as much as you can, like, play condom poker.

Whatever every single time you have sex with someone without a condom, you’re having sex with them and every person they’ve slept with no and it’s listen.


It is, I am not saying, don’t use condoms.

I’m just saying I’m addressing that.

No one uses them anymore.

And I’m just saying be a little mindful.


Do a little Action alone investigation States because you don’t want to fucking sitter.

No, you don’t want to sit her.


The stands are not Q last aye-aye.

They’re not as they’re not called STDs.

Any other STIs.


Because o disease was like not scaring the shit out of people will just talk about STDs for a minute.


They’re they’re not.


No, they’re no joke and they’re a big deal.

But Alex man, I just want to address that day.

They for the most part are curable and or manageable.

Yeah, I think not curable, run up some of them.


I think manageable.

I think that’s a great thing to bring up.

And I feel like people are so awkward talking about STDs.

The amount of fucking people in this office that have probably have one.

It’s like, it is what it is because I just talked about fucking, everyone’s having raw sex.

It’s gonna happen.

I do want to say that girls.


I know you said it’s gonna happen.

It’s gonna happen.

No, no, there.

I know.

Are people that like listen in high school and college and shit?

Listen, you are most of them, you are not going to die.

For example, my friend got one and started balling, her fucking eyes out and started writing a will.


Yes, and she was like my mom’s gonna get this.

My dad’s gonna get this, like, not gonna fucking die.

You got one college, my one of my roommates got chlamydia, and I remember I was, I didn’t know what Clemson, a classic shots.

She got her first STD.

It’s chlamydia.


Yeah, I love that.

I say first like she was great.

It’s like, when you answer your hands are fucking rite, of passage know what our says to you.

When you got your period and your parents, like your thumb in.

That’s like she got her first as he like claps to you.

And so oh, chlamydia, and I didn’t really know anything about it.


And so I remember sitting in her dorm room with her bawling, our eyes out and we were just like this is the end like this fucking sucks.

Like you’re gonna die.

Like was the sex, even worth it.

And then, I think, Reason, we’re bringing this up is because I know there are people that listen that are in high school and college and girlfriend.


You’re going to survive.

I’m gonna survive, you’re going to, you’re going to see another day.

Most of them.

Most of them.

Those are cities like legit.

I know.

It’s scary were not like downplaying them.

But if you do get an STD dude, it’s legit.

You go to Planned Parenthood.

You pop a pill.

You don’t have to tell your parents.

You don’t have to tell anyone just yeah, so but it you should be taking it seriously, obviously and using condoms unless, you know, Oh my God, we are called our daughter.


We just fucking contradict our.

So they do actually actual.

I have something that I want to say.

I was hanging out with my friend and he was showing me his grinder and that is a dating app for the gays.

If you guys didn’t know and he was showing me like these people’s profiles and it fucking says, the last time you were tested and then it also says, if you are HIV positive or not on your dating, I’ll why the fuck?


Why is it Tinder have that weight Araya have that I want?

I’m just gonna start putting that in mind.

What the fuck?

We that’s actually pretty like brilliant, right?

The fact that you have to put the last time you were tested.

We didn’t you also tell me that they put their position.




Yeah, they put it there top or a bottom of their versatile.


Imagine if we have a call her daddy dating up because they’ll put their favorite position.

Imagine if you put your favorite position is like the river.

Versailles clouds.

Look like nice back.

Like, Ugh!

Look like 9,000 performer or like a couch cobbler prove, dude.


That’s why we need our own dating app.

Well, wow.

Grinders fucking lid.

I know what the fuck.

I don’t know why we don’t have that.

But um the thing with us these guys if you find out you have one and you are so embarrassed me like do not want to tell the person who gave it to you.


Yeah, you don’t tell them you don’t know about, I actually would fucking kill someone.

If they gave me an STD and I found out because they were cheating on me.

The thing about a situation like that and cheating in general, which we can don’t listen to this segue.


All right?

Is that it makes The Break-Up easier.

I know that sounds crazy.

But it really does Sofia.

You just spit knowledge on my face.

You just spit it across the room.

That’s fucking brilliant.


It’s just, I need you to explain that because I go you’re saying, but I want to make sure everyone else does.

When you have a tangible, valid reason to fucking hate someone.

Yeah, then The Break-Up, is that much easier.

We, I fucking love this topic.


The amount of people that have written in and been, like, how the fuck do I get over a breakup?


Let’s go ham right now.

How to get over a breakup.

If I hear somebody say, you get over someone by getting under someone else.

I’m going to fucking pull my eyelash.


Nobody in the dr.

Yang is ever allowed to say, that fucking Well ever, again.

It’s so sticky.

You know what?

No Quotes.

No quote.

You’re going through a breakup.

You’re not allowed to use a quote.

Oh, come on.

I like that guys.

It’s so it, you’re right.

Fuck the goddamn quote to yourself, write them in your diet.


I think I would rather see a quote like a Gandhi quote on a thirst trap than a fuckin depressed quote on a caption.

Once you break up.

It’s fine quotes have gotten me through some shit.

Get invited on your wall and that’s the truth.

But I screenshot it and like put it in my phone.

Yeah, make your fucking background patch.


Me dead going through a breakup and being like, if he can’t handle me at my worst, you sure.

As hell doesn’t deserve me at my best.

Do I want to know, guys?

You look so fucking but her my main advice to get over a goddamn break up is to be.

So up your own ass that you don’t have time to be up.


Anyone elses.

You’re gonna put that on a fucking teacher baby.

No, seriously, guys, like I know we’re never really serious but like in all seriousness.

It’s getting over a breakup.

There is nothing better.

It’s the whole like, oh, like And fuck his acts and do this again for someone to get over.


Someone know our main focus is no longer on this person because, you know, what?

As far as you’re concerned, they are dead dead dead.

That’s what Sophia and I say you are mourning, the loss of this is I know it sounds funny but it is it.


So fucking don’t have a little funeral session.


A little burial in your room.

Put him to bed and he’s gone.

She’s gone.

They’re dead.

They are dead.

You have to live your life at least for the first while like they don’t because it’s Guys, like we I was trying to be soon.

I was trying to be serious for a minute.

The whole thing is, if you go out and you’re thinking of, oh, I’m in a party and I’m going to post so many things on my story.


And I’m gonna be so out there about how I’m living my best life.

You just look like a fucking trihard.

The best way to live your goddamn fucking life is to be off the Internet.

It’s like you’re having too much fucking fun to even post.

Okay, so girls girls I think are more into this than guys.


We’re out there.

We’re showing our labia.

We’re posting which we tell you to do to make a man jealous.

The minute you break up with a guy you are radio silence on social media and guys.

Yeah, I think and as cliche as it sounds this is the time where you got a focus on your self.



It’s on you.

And that’s yeah, that’s the best revenge.

That’s what your ass.

So no more Quotes.

No more drum Taps also, can I just say that I feel like a lot of people that are emotionally unstable automatically, think I’m going to go fuck his friend.

I’m going to go fuck the whatever and then you find yourself crying at 2 a.m.


Because he doesn’t fuck like your ex and you’re like, what do I do?


I’m like, oh my God, and I’m gonna find this.

I made hook up and I’m like, oh my God, and it’s like, okay.


No, you gotta wait to fuck someone if you’re if you note.

Listen, this is a very specific to each his own.

If you are very emotional person, do not try to go fuck someone because Going to find yourself balling.

Your fucking eyes out.

While he’s midair, just, right?

And you start crying like his dick was mean for my but yeah, it just like, shut the fuck up.


You guys might be a little bit different, but I don’t know.

Can we tell them what, what to do?

If your ex contacts you blocked block.

Block block block block block block, but it’s all I get fucking trigger finger happy because you don’t even know how good it feels fucking go.


Look at your block list and it is just pages and Pages longer than your text.

It’s the red easy.

It’s that’s your dude.

I was lucky love to like screenshot the amount of people you have blocked.

Its Britt.

It’s brilliant guys.

I’m serious.

When I break up with someone or Sophia does the minute, if they’re trying to still contact you block the fucking shit out of them for at least, like, two weeks.


Yes, and listen, I get it.

Like, I am that bitch.

That’s like, you know what, I want to know what he says, so you don’t need.

This is the what actually?

This is the one time I’m gonna tell them turn off their read receipts.

I it’s no longer about being petty girls, when you Are done with the relationship.


And if that person is still hitting you up, you can do is, you can turn off your eye message for certain people.

So all of those texts will send his green.

So it will look as if you blocked someone even though you, but you’re still getting the tack up our, are you a scientist?


Do I am, I fucking love that?


So basically, you can either do that or turn off your read receipts and just let them keep getting delivered.

I Route.

I used to do that.

Actually, most of the time, I’ll just block someone, but like there was a guy I was dating and like I wanted to know so badly what he said and I was like, you are getting fucking blocked and then I would just turn the iMessage off and I would still see every little do you know, I see every so God.


Yeah, that’s just like a little and we might be rambling, but sorry, getting under someone and like, fucking no goes.

That’s the same thing as like a lot of us.

I know me.

Specifically, I feel inclined to rage.


Yes, and I will just go balls to the wall and Then you know what’s not fun is when you fucking sober up and you’re my God and the now ironing really know.


I’m really upset about unwelcome.


I’m gonna give you a quick little Alex Cooper moment where I’m going to say, everybody needs to just understand that the end of the fucking day.

We’re all going to die and no one is willing to get in that fucking casket with you.



So if you’re not happy with someone or they fucked you over, you’re going to move on.

And basically find something that makes you fucking happier.

There’s no time to waste fucking over bitch, boys, or over slores.

Also Alex and I floors, floors, Alex.

And I were talking about this, like there is no reason that the world should come crashing around you.


When you go through, no people men and women, you got to have your own shit going on.

And I don’t want to sound preachy, but like it should be the type of thing where it really sucks.

And it’s a hard thing to go.

Here you go through a breakup.

It shouldn’t be like, holy shit.

I need to start from ground zero and like, figure out my life like dude, the amount of times and I can’t stress it enough.


I’ve posted about on my And that I have gone through a breakup.

I know it sounds corny, but the bad always brings you to something good.

I wouldn’t be sitting in this chair if it wasn’t for a fucking break up like shit just proposing to better shit Alex and I were talking about this.

The reason I’m in New York was because of a breakup.


The reason I’m Alex’s because of that insane problem.

It’s the reason I met you was because of a breakup and look where we are now.

And now I can and now 1 billion each other.

And now we’re getting married and I says referee night are hungrier than any dick could ever make.

I’m soul, mate.

Me or break.


So guys stay positive and move on and also find a good friend.

Like, I’m fucking staring at you.

I’m a lesbian for you.

But like it’s true.

If you find someone that can support you through the hard times.

Oh, you know, right, right.

When the breakup happens, if I can suck, you can do whatever you need to do to, like, kind of get over it.


Like, I am so fucking lame.


I remember being in high school and I do it.

I was like, going through a breakup and I was so in love with this guy and I would sit in my room.

And I would say, I would play that Rihanna song go on and totally take AA about whatever and over and over and over for now, looks so dumb right now.


My mom would like knock on the door and be like, dinner’s ready?

And I’m like, I’m not.

Come on, eat mom.


I remember this is a tangent, but I thought I was so in love in high school and when we broke up, I shit you not.

I was so fucking immature and grows.


I wrote Love Letters to Him every single day for like, a couple months and afterwards don’t, I’m embarrassed this.

I dropped the box of letters off at his house.

Like he has those on me.

Like you got it from The Notebook.

Yes, that would.


I was like a general thought.

I’m not kidding you.

It was like today.

I thought about you and I realized like we will soon reunite like, our parents are trying to keep us apart.

But this is stronger than anything that people do die.

Alex died.

I fuck me guys.

Just think about yourself when you were younger and it’s just basically like escalates when you’re older.


Just get a little bit more return.

Don’t write love letters or sing, Take a Bow, but it’s the same fucking shit.

Not this might make you feel better.

This might make you feel worse.

You got about 20 more breakups.

Where that one came from throw true.


And think about the guy that you’ve cried over in high school and I think breakups can be fun.


Yeah, lose some fucking weight.

Not a joke.

No lose weight.

Absolute that Revenge Bob even just like.

So there’s some satisfaction in to like having to live your best life.

It is, it’s like forces you to move on.

Anyone that’s going through a breakup or is about to go through a breakup or if you wanting to bend breaking up with someone.


Yeah, do it positivity up in this bitch and then just listen to our podcast.

Yeah, we’re here for you.

So wow.

Wow, you know, it’s kind of crazy that on the 22nd episode.

We’re going to touch on this because in call her daddy passion, we went straight to intercourse and oral and all that great stuff and we skipped right over fingering like we Forgot the basics.


And we’re like, so when your pegging your bitch and when you’re fucking sucking, his asshole is like what about just like maybe like a finger in the vagina?

What a concept.

We apologize for skipping over that one because it’s fucking important.


I actually do for praise important.


It is so fucker.

Open come from getting finger like hen.

So so boys ladies gentlemen, I think that the first thing I just have to say about fingering is just put it out there, the Jackhammer, the god did It’s gotta stop.

It is one of gotta stop.


Knock it off.

Knock it off, guys.

It is the honestly, the most terrifying thing for a girl.

I think in sex is one of the things is the Jackhammer, boys.

I’m gonna refer to you as boys if you’re using the Jackhammer, so I will never forget, I was so excited to hook up with this guy was in college and he was not in college, and I was so pumped.


You so hot, whatever we get to hooking up, and he’s Down to finger me and I’m like, ready for it.

He puts his fingers in like the gun position, solo index finger and middle finger like bitch, going in.

He takes his index and middle finger.


And when I tell you, he didn’t even fucking, like, lube it up.

He just shot his fingers up there and he was going at rapid speed like I fucking fingering.

Yeah, like like so fast and hard and one speed and I wanted to die, know it.


Well, it is.

I know it.

Well, traumatizing to me and it’s terrifying and I’m Swatted, his hand away.

Like a disgusting.


Wanted to take my foot and kick him in the head.

It’s insane.

And you’re like the, how did that feel?

Because that’s how that my vagina feel eyes.

It’s that needs to stop being like everything with a girl.


You need to ease into it.


II don’t want to hear about this shit anymore.

No, guys.

I’m extremely pissed.

I just want I just want to do what they need to do.

But do the amount of people?

This is the thing guys.

Yeah fingering a girl.

Is one of those things that, like, if you’re good at fingering, a girl and you’re maybe your stroke game isn’t as good, like, right?


That can low-key, like, holster you up for a little bit.

Like, if you’re good at fingering a girl, you’re in.


So work on your fucking game.

Yes, please.

I for my vagina.

See, what?

I mean?

A thousand percent.

So, here we go.


Here we go.

Listen up, listen up.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.

You gotta focus on, you guessed it?

But clit Alexei with me again the clit.

I hope you guys know what that is.


It pisses me off that people just like, keep forgetting it.

How do you forget it?

It’s like the fucking heart.

Beat to the pussy.

Oh my God.

You are you are on some shit today.

You your fingers should not enter inside of her until you have played around.


Around and on the clit.



It’s so it’s so important to focus on that shit.

And like Sofia said, boys, you are not fucking going in.

Like I said, earlier, the guy did with two fingers, you start with one fucking finger.

Okay, but, but I think we need to back up.


Okay, the clit.

You’re right.

Okay, you’re right.

You’re going to spend most of your time.

I would argue outside of the vagina.

Yes, 100%.

You’re gonna rub her clit.

Yes, around the vagina.

And you can kind of like spread her lips and like, use that wetness and bring it up to the cliff.



Oh my God, we’re can’t brilliant.

Okay, this is what I have to say.

Yes, to get your girl wet, if she’s not well, alright, if she’s not one already two options.

First of all, you can shove her finger shove your fingers in her mouth.


Yeah, that’s hot.

And a lot of guys like, what do I say?

You don’t say shit?

No, you take your two fingers.

Hers, you shove them and down her throat.

Well, no, no.

No, she’ll put some fucking slobber on that shit and you go down to her pussy and you wipe it on it.

And now that shit’s lubed up number two, if you don’t know her that well, and you don’t want to be that aggressive with it.


Then you?

Yeah, I can either.

I mean, sometimes don’t like when they spit in their hand.

I like it.

I don’t mind that guy.

I think you just like lick your hand and you put it down their fingers.

That’s what I’m saying.

I don’t mind this bit, but I know some girls don’t love it, but spit in your fucking And and get her wet.


I’m I’m down with it.

Okay, good.

So when you do decide to go in like one or two, or three or four or five, you’re doing a fist, you’re doing one soccer, soccer know, you’re doing one finger to start boys, and that’s that.


And one finger one.

And then after then, add the second one.

Yes, you can progress you start with one fucking finger.



No fucking call her daddy, man is going in with three fingers in there, to start.


The Shocker of to know and then it should be slow.

And once you’re doing that, you should do a come-hither motion.

Yes, right.

Come hit, the fish around for the G-Spot fish around.

Now, I have to say that the issue with a lot of people or a lot of guys is they do the same goddamn thing, the whole fucking time, right?


And that is the thing that pisses girl.


Can you please imagine boys look down at your penis right?

Now as you’re listening look down at that little guy and say would you like it?

Would you like it?

If a girl gave you a blow job and did the same thing the entire time just up and down.


Same speed?

No, no, mix it up.

Mix it the fuck up with the come-hither motion.

I also like when a guy does like a circular motion.

Yes, is that make sense with the middle finger?

We talked about with the middle finger.


Let’s tell you about that little move.

Move this move.

This okay is called Alex.

The clockwise Delight, the clockwise delight.

And you guys think that you fingered a girl, correct?

We are you been fingered correctly before?


No, you haven’t.


This is what you’re going to do.

This is after you have played with her clit for 45 minutes.

All right, you are going to insert your middle finger into her vagina.


As deep as you can go like straight up homegirl.


Uh picking a dildo to the back.

You are shoving.

Yeah, so but it’s your finger and it has to be the middle finger has to be.

And what you’re going to do is you’re going to kind of squirm your finger around.

But the main thing you’re going to do is you’re going to start going in a clockwise motion.


Okay, and you are going to stimulate her G-spot like, it has never been stimulated before, guys.

I don’t think this cannot be stressed enough.

Like we said, fingering is so big for girl, but when you You specifically, there’s just something about the middle finger and when I was up there and like straight up your, it’s like touching her Palm is facing the ceiling.


Yes, you put the middle finger in you kind.

Do the come hither motion.

You squirm your finger around and then you start going around.

Yes, and then occasionally, guys, when you’re feeling like, okay, I’ve gone around like four times.

Then you move it forward in that come-hither motion towards her G-spot and hit it, and then keep doing circles.



And mix it up.

And then Yeah, and then and then while all this is happening, you’re like, okay, what else can I be doing?

This is a perfect opportunity for you guys to take your thumb and you’re going to put it on her clit.

Yes, and we can’t stress enough that you’re not putting it on her clit and like moving your thumb as you’re literally can just leave like the contact of your thumb on her clit.


Without even moving up.

Your thumb is basically just lightly hovering over her class.

Super easy, right?

And this this position guys, I swear to you the clock.

Likewise Delight.

This is something that you incorporate.

I think you would do it.

Like once she’s wet.

No way through fingering her.


This is don’t start with this, right?

This is 45 minutes after you’ve been on her clit.



Straight up.

The other thing that we wanted to touch on is what your face should be doing while your fingering a girl.

Oh my God, because I just, dude, I have caught a guy watching TV.


Before, what I have stayed up, been getting fingered by a guy and he was watching TV and I Right up like the Sahara Desert and he never fucked me, like, get the fuck out of here.

So you know, what, I actually like is when a guy like continues making out with me and it’s so hot.


It’s not like he has to be like, making out the whole time, but like is saying, oh my God, okay guys.

When your fingering a girl, it’s so much different than eating her out.

When you’re down there.

You don’t need to be down at her vagina with your face.

You can straight up have your body still kind of on her Beyond like a little bit to the side of your finger doing the work.


And then when You’re on top of her.

You guys should straight up be making out with her kissing her neck.

Staying in contact.

I think the body contact.

It’s so hot and then have to be disconnected.


The guy just talked about that, did the fucking Jackhammer move on me.


Oh my god, with down there and fuck you.

This is all coming back.

Bad memories, PTSD!

It all comes back.

He looks up at me while he’s legit finger-fucking me.

And he goes, yeah.

Yeah, you like that?

Yeah, you feel that hell, yeah.

Hell yeah.

Get out of here guys, dude, that whole fucking worse.


I’m sorry, but like everyone’s like, oh my God, call her daddy.

They’re going to talk about fingering.


Yeah, we’re going to talk about fearing because I almost got taken out the other day.

Like a guy who almost took me out.

Literally by fingers.

What Jay we, I do write in that.


She was bleeding.

Yeah guys don’t know how to knit and Guru important.

I want to say guys also going back to your dick.

So I think it’s helpful when we like do a little Comparison, you know how sensitive your dick is guys after you finish and she keeps sucking on it.

That is how our clip feels all the time times 10.


So don’t you, dare go ham on that shit.

You can also move up to the hood.

Go back down to the clit.

Don’t fucking, just chill out on the clit.

You right?

All right, I totally agree.

So I do think also.

Another thing I want to say Back to Basics is, guys, please.


The cleanliness is an City clip your fucking fingernails.

She doesn’t want you carving Hydrographics on her walls with those fucking Talent.


What a queen.

Okay, and I’m not saying you to go get a fucking gel manicure but like clean your shit up so fucking become expert and I mean you’re a guy and you’re an expert at all of it.


Then this little is devoted to you and you’re seriously guys.

If you take anything away from this finger segment, spread the wetness focus on the fucking clit, and if you don’t know what the clit is watching out there pain, Hey, Netflix, and chill with that.


Yes, please.



Okay, let’s get into questions.

Okay, so I’m in a long-distance relationship and my boyfriend is always asking me to send pictures of my pussy.

How do I take a picture that I’m not absolutely repulsed by, do I use Flash?

How much do I spread?


What’s a good angle?


Help me.

Oh girl.

See my nacho.

Go to advice is like fuck the pictures only send videos like you can.

I mean, I honestly obviously you’re gonna send pictures of your pussy.

But like it’s a vagina is hard.

It’s a hard one vagina.


Is a tough one.

It is.

And my advice is to have something in there.

Have a good something and I don’t mean a cucumber.

Okay, dildo.

It could be your fingers.

Yeah, you can spice out.

I mean you can eventually, if you’re sending a bunch just put a bunch of different shit in there, but for my first for my, my storage unit, sorry Chyna, I think I think it can be hot if you send the picture because I know girls feel weird spreading their leg and taking a picture.


Okay, Ivan gets really hot.

I am I actually saw this on someone’s phone.

Once they accidentally showed it to me.

A girl was I’ve never done this.

A girl was standing in front of the mirror.

And then she squatted down in front of the mirror with no underwear on in heels and took a picture with her pussy.


Just like spread in the mirror.

Would you follow us to do that?

I think so, it’s kind of hot.

I think it could be hot.

That actually is really hot.

When I say to use your fingers.

I think there’s two ways to do it because I just brought it to my attention.

You can actually put them down there and like have your lips bright, okay.


Okay, he’s it like this.


The guys, you guys can totally see what I’m doing.

Is, is the Pod do what you’re like using your?

I’m such an idiot, okay, or to have them actually inside.

Totally agree.

I’m like, have it be wet like so he can actually obviously The Flash.

No, no, no fucking that.

We do like we do not get chicken cutlet to your God.


I do think they’ll videos guys.

Like if you want to ramp it up, a video is the shit.

If you’re like, using your, vibrator your fingers and send him like a quick video of yourself, touching yourself.

I’m sorry.



Can we educate the daddies on kegels any guy I’ve hooked up with has gone crazy over it and came within seconds.


Oh, never talked about.

Do you do a whole segment?

I’m doing them right now.


Me to wait.

They’re hard.

They’re lucky Eagles.

For those who don’t know, kegels during sex are so good.

Well, and if you’re if you’re doing them every day, it makes the sex so much bad.


I and your orgasms bet.

It’s True girls.

Also like if you are basically you tell him like as a joke, too, kind of like stop for a minute and if you are so strong with your kegels, you’re basically like pulsating on his dick.


Your kegels on him, like, especially say you’re on top.



And you lean forward, and you go to like kiss him and you stop basically like riding him up and down or side to side and you do your kegels on him while you’re like, making out with him and he feels you doing that on his dick.

Golden genius, beautiful, love, marriage, children, success and it’s, and it’s so much better for the Because it gives you like more control over your pelvic floor because people think Eagles are just to make your like vagina tighter, which oh, no, no, this shit can be used during sex.


Yes, my fuck buddy, and I had some bomb-ass sex and he’s super chilled to be around.

He suggested a few kinky things to try while hooking up and so far so good.

No complaints by any means but this dude keeps asking me to fuck him in the ass with a dildo and then use a double dildo to fuck each other in the ass at the same time, and I’m honest Only horrified and don’t know what to do.


Please help a double-sided dildo, a do tweet.

So the dildo goes in both of their asses and they’re back to back, like they’re both on that our hands.

And that’s the only way, I mean, unless it’s going in her vagina, but like I don’t think that would really work.

So they would be a both, be getting fucked in the ass and it would be penetrating, buy them both going back and forth on it.


It’s like that scene from Requiem for a Dream.

If anyone’s ever seen.

I’ve never seen it.

What happens?

There’s like two girls and they like to has really need heroin and these guys make them use it CC.

Still doubt the great movie, great film.

You get some heroin by getting fucked in the ass.

But how do you feel about that?


Should she do it?

I think you do.

What do we do?

What do we told the Daddy’s?

If it feels good, do it.

And if you want to try a also with that said, if you don’t feel comfortable doing so don’t do it.


If you want to experiment if you don’t like it.




But you know, that would be a very interesting thing.

It would be like reverse Human Centipede.

You’re just going.

Okay next next next, fuck.


This was a story.

One of my friends worked as an urgent care nurse, and she had a woman come in complaining complaining.


Being a vagina, loader and heavy discharge.

It was so bad that the doctor nurse came out of the exam room dry heaving.

It was fucking disgusting.

So this chick didn’t understand what the issue was and was like concerned.

That it was an infection, long story, short, a few weeks prior.


The bitch got hammered and hooked up with this dude and he ended up shoving a basketball.

Sock up her vagina.


And it had been there for a week.


I’m talking like a A long, striped thick, basketball soccer with us, 70 style Vibe, going on.


The chick, had a horrendous infection because of this and had no idea was up there to add insult to injury injury.

She was pregnant.

I mean that doesn’t matter.

What on hon, hon.

Why was there a basketball soccer up there?

Hold on.


I this bitch had a full-blown sock of shoved in her pussy.

And someone was like, I think you got an infection.

Think the guy was you.

This stock is our calm down.

Okay, dude, what he puts a sock over his dick and fucks her and fucks it into her know.


I could Loki.

See, okay.

This is all, I can think of what is their fucked up?

He’s fucked up in the head and he puts the sock why though?

In her vision?

–I, I don’t know.


We how does that get in there?



What I’m picturing is he puts it at the vagina and like starts, like, Slowly like pushing it in until it’s done and then he puts a dick and shoves it farther.

I think he’s using it as a condiment out of the biggest long ever.


No condom was gonna fit it.

So we had tangelo, he had to use a basketball sock and then it got stuck up in there and the girl just didn’t remember.

So my ex and I were in Hawaii with his aunt and his grandmother, they were away for breakfast.


So we got down and dirty, right?


Middle of the kitchen floor, they came home and they found us in. 69.

My legs were strapped around his ears covering them, and he didn’t hear a single thing.

When they walked in.

I was hitting him telling him to stop, but I had locked around his head and he was holding me so hard.


He’s always on and grandmother just stood there for a solid minute or two.

He just thought I was so into the oral by pulling him and slapping him and telling him to stop.

I was trying to get him to stop and he wouldn’t, it was a most embarrassing moment of my life, dude.

Oh my God, so she was trying to be like, get the fuck off and he was like, oh, she loves it.


She’s like babe.

Stop, stop.

And he’s like, oh, she’s about to come on my face.

We, and it was her aunt and grandmother.

I would backflip off his fucking face, dude.

That is my nightmare about the fact that it’s like, she’s locked in.

She couldn’t get up, right.


She could not do anything.

She’s like, sitting there is a place like looking at them like, please.

I also feel like 69 is way worse than just actual sex, right?

Caught doing.

So she so sweet.

So shitty the fact that like you’re like ass isn’t a face and like Jonah.


Oh my I pray for you that poor Grandma.

I’m surprised she and drop dead.

Would you rather your parents or your grandparents walking on you?

I like locating my grandparents.

I kind of do too.


Cause like I think like one degree removed.

Oh, damn, girl.

I am so sorry for you.

I’m sure he came those an evil.


My God.


Okay, in the fucking ground mother’s face.


I hope this cries.



Okay, listening to episode 21 and I got the part where you were wearing a ski mask in a sex tape.

You guys joked about, well.

Do I have a fucking story for you?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for seven years now, maybe one to two and we were laying in bed and watching.


Somehow started talking about the website Chatroulette, a little bit later.

We started hooking up.

And to be honest.

I’m not sure who even proposed the idea, but we decided to put ski masks on set up the webcam and continue fucking on Chatroulette while random people watched us.


I don’t even think I ever look to see, who is watching.

The sex was so good, thinking about who was watching.

Now, probably gives me the creeps, but whatever, good experience.

Wait, dude, that’s like Loki, fucking Savage.

Wait, I’m down.

Me too.

To first of all, having sex with ski masks on seems really fun.


I agree.

And I meant as a joke, and I’m now, I want to wait home.

And also the fact that like nobody knew who they were.

Yeah, and they were fucking on Chatroulette and people just watching them and like, nobody could ever find out who it was, dude.

That’s like low-key fucking genius.


Should we try it?

I want to trust like Savage Jireh.

Let’s do the thing though.

I think it’s just guys jacking off.

Well, that’s what it always was but I get it.

It probably like I could be like a little perverse thing where it’s like knowing someone’s jacking off to you guys.


Fucking like I bet that’s like, look here turn on.

Oh my God.

I’m Valentine’s date night.


Would you go?

That’s fun.

This is what we’re doing for Valentine’s Day, guys.

It is call her daddy and chill.

Yeah, you’re gonna listen to our episode.

You’re gonna get horny.


Yeah, you’re gonna get down, you’re going to turn on Chatroulette.

You’re going to put ski mask on, and you’re gonna fuck like, rabbits.

And you’re gonna enjoy every second of that is call her daddy and chill and call her daddy and chill.

Is gonna get you laid 10 times quicker than Netflix and chill.

I can actually do the amount of people that say they listen to our podcast and then mid podcasts are fucking.


If you guys are trying to get laid turn it on when your hookup comes over guys Savage Oh Daddy’s I am.

I’m gonna I’m sad the episodes over.

But guys, I am so happy because I live in.

I’m gonna run out of the studio.

Think I hit menopause because I’m sweating hot flashes like flashing before my eyes.


Oh my God.

Okay, so I guess that’s it.

That’s it.

Daddy’s every fucking what day every Wednesday guys again, make sure to write in so we can feature your questions.

And again, these are real fucking questions.

We’re not making this shit up.

Like these are legit people listening writing enough.


I mean tube sock and a girl’s vagina.

I don’t think I’d even be that creative to make that shit up.

So guys.

We love you.

Thank you so much for listening episode. 22.

Love you guys.

I love you guys.

See you next week.

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