Call Her Daddy - 26 - Drunk Sex: Blackout Edition

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Are you kidding?

We have to literally fuck down at least five bodies and the same bed.

In the same bed.

We have to Eiffel Tower guy.

Who he hot.

We have to like do a full tower.

Yeah, I’m gonna dump or it’ll be an experience.


We can talk about on Research purposes.

It’s not even as being whorish.

It’s just research.

Okay, let’s go everybody.


Like all her daddy, call her daddy.


Oh, baby, I’m already annoyed.

Call her Daddy back at it again.

For another episode baby.

Oh man.

We’re in here.

I think it was funny because the other day, Sophia we were talking about our time in our old life, the Reminiscing on the days.



So Sofia worked at a finance firm.

Do I think it’s so crazy people?

Daddy gang.

Sophia does not work out of Finance for many more people.

Still think he would like trust and believe I would be fired right now.

Okay, there was no way that I could you’re an HR nightmare, but actually, in the beginning, I would go to work.


At the finance firm and then I would like go and be off with you.

And then we would record.

We did four episodes outside of Barstool and those four episodes.

Sophia was had like a little side job.


I’m trying to keep it a secret and I was like, okay.

Well, this is I’m probably gonna come in one day and then my manager is going to be like, so I could talk about 9,000 get the fuck out.


So we were talking about how we were actual degenerate at 9 to 5 jobs.

I remember that there were days that I would literally get a new Uber and go home because I was either.

So, hungover.

I just wasn’t in the mood.

I would chill at the apartment for like two or three hours and then go back to work as if nothing happened, guys.


I did the same thing.

I was working for like, a Luxury magazine.

And so, you would have to go out and you’re trying to, like pitch people in New York to advertise in the magazine.

I’d be like, I’m going out, I would go home.

Make myself a fat ass sandwich.


I would take a fat nap.

I would set my alarm for 4 o’clock.

That I would stroll back into work and be like an amazing day of prospecting in my boss would like, Alex are so dedicated.

I’m like sweetheart.

I am rejuvenated from that, go home and take a nap set.


My alarm for four o’clock and then go back to the office.

I don’t know if people do this shit or is that just odd?

Oh, maybe that’s why we okay.

So then Sophia and I finally left our jobs and now we’re our own bosses.


I think it kind of comes with its own struggle.

It does.

We live together.

We work together, we play together.


And so therefore, we don’t need to do shit in the office.

We never come to the fucking off.

Office that and then we can technically work at 3:00 a.m.

If we want right, since we’re in charge and we make our schedule.

Alex and I’ll be like, oh man, like I don’t really feel like working and the other one is like totally who did it.


Take a nap.

Yes, we won’t work Monday and then were like, oh, we actually have a ton of shit to do.

We have to drop an episode tomorrow?

Just put in 48 hours straight without sleeping.

We are are our editor like is actually always so annoyed with us because we’re like, hey Tom, we’re coming.


At 11 p.m.

Tonight to record will be there till like 4:00 a.m.

Is that go with you?

And he’s like, why we need to get a little more structured.

I also just realized, if we ever wanted to get a job in the real world, 925 again, they’re gonna pull up these podcasts and here’s talk about how we went home and took naps.


And I think he’s probably worried about a couple other things, other than just taking naps during the day, Sophia, how we like DP scissoring Eiffel Tower up on that dick, but I know you’re right.

You’re right.

Focus on the nap.




So last week, we talked about guys, posing on their Instagram and there’s a little bit of an uproar, a little bit of a, a little bit of a push back.

And we’re just trying to help.

We’re just keeping everyone accountable.

That’s really what we’re doing here because we’re we are keeping ourselves accountable.


And therefore you need to be want the daddy going to get laid.

That’s really the goal here.

Everyone listening this Howcast.

We want you to fuck, right?

We’re telling you how to clean it up a little bit.

So the poses.

So we talked about the pose where the guide The power stands with his hands down clasps.

Like right near his dick and then his head is up.


But his eyes are looking down.

It’s the worst pose.

Your your feet are spread apart.


Don’t know what to do with their fucking hands.

So what I say is like, put your hands together like you do in that power stands, close, your fucking legs.

You’re like, I don’t need to see your schlong jangling, have your head facing the right, and like smile, like a normal person, don’t like up and then bow down to the camera.


So, that’s what we are trying to clarify.

We are not picking on guys.

No, we’re not, we’re not.


We’re just telling you guys that is just ugly and it’s not q and just don’t do it count on that.

No, we’re not picking on you.

It’s fucking hit.


I do not know.

This goes for men and women.

Yeah, you should not take a group pic where you are all doing the exact same pose.


It’s not a problem.

It’s not problem.

That’s when it looks ridiculous.

Knock it off.

Knock knock it off with the promposals.

Unless you’re actually a pronoun.

Okay, you guys should not all be doing the exact snow.

It’s fucking quietly and roll, dude.


That’s what we said guys look like they’re about to drop a mixtape when they’re just like all doing the same pose and girls.


If you’re all, let’s talk about girls, all have the hand on the hip Jesus.

God Mary and Joseph act natural people, people naturally wide, so I just brothers have to Sofia.

I’m sorry guys.

I know this may be feel like the younger crowd.

It really irks me when the girls on the beach with her one, fucking hand up and harass like her hip broken out to the side.


You’re like it is I thought you were gonna say like when girls right shit in the sand.

Oh, that means like like know unless you as a writing Daddy getting the yeah.



Okay, but yeah, the whole like hands up in the sky like knock it off.


I also saw a guy right in, I thought this is a great one.

He was like girls sometimes on their Instagram.

They only show one side of their face.

That’s their best side and then their tits.

So it’s like it.

It’s right side has faced its rights to every selfie.

Yeah, and you got a mixed up.


Okay, every time I go to take a selfie, I’m going to do the exact same.

What’s your good side?

I think mind my right side finds the right of I’m doing a selfie but you like, but if I’m on camera the laughs, oh my God, technical up in his bed, but so girls, we get it.

We all have that, like one really good side.

My advice to you is you should have got to switch it up there.


A little fucking Photoshop or facetune on that shit.

You’ll be fine.

How bad is it?

When you see guys?

Dude, you’re like make their teeth whiter.

Oh my God, or when girlfriends edit their boyfriends pictures when they’re like the two of them in a backyard.

She puts it on her page and she faces her boyfriend and his skin.


I don’t think eyes can use phase Tunas up, fucked up to say.

I do maybe they like a huge crater.

They can be like babe.

Could you like put like one thing on that pimple, but the girls that are literally actually are rushing their boyfriends cheeks.

I’m like, fuck, ah, alright, ever.

So Sofia.


Yeah, this morning.

We’re on our way to work.

And you are looking at a video of a girl on Instagram who was putting on, you know, in her mind what she thought was the choreography of a lifetime.

She was on Dancing With the Stars.


She was on Dancing With the Stars.

She was in her living.

She was alone.

There is something going on.

There’s an epidemic on Instagram where these girls who are not on Dancing With the Stars who are not performing on a stage are dancing.


In their living rooms, what’s worse?


The dancing?

Or the singing?

Oh my God, because they both kind of make me cringy, guys.

Can you just explain it?

Like an okay the dancing?

I like these girls.

They either have their friend recording them or they set up their phone.

Okay, and they’re fucking dynegy little dungeon living room and they back up camera soda, they like walk backwards sexily.


They put on a rendition of like lose control by Missy Elliott and Like why do you dipping and twirling?

And there?

It’s horrible.

It’s horrible.

It’s like I just it’s when they take themselves too.

Seriously on in that, that is what we’re trying to get across the past episodes.


I think, yeah, it’s the lack of self-awareness but also taking yourself too seriously, on Instagram.

If I’m going to post a video of myself dancing.

Oh, I don’t know how to duck and deer are gonna be dabbing, right?

I’m going to be dabbing like a fucking loser because it’s a joke.

Girls specific.

I mean girls are doing this more obviously than guys.


I haven’t seen guys do.

Doing dancing in their living room, but girls you have to understand like, what is the point if you like to dance dance and film yourself?

And then watch it over and over again, and show your grandma and your mom at dinner and the big sweetie.

That’s great.

No one on.

Instagram wants to see a normal ass chick doing a fucking dance with her friends.


Oh my, what is that?

Let’s, let’s transition here because we’re going to say on social media for a bit.

But this is going to be a different topic.


All right, the real phenomenon here with Instagram.

Yes, it is.

The guys going and liking 70 pictures of a girl.


They want to potentially fuck.

He’s always like what a great guy.

I was talking to Mel punter and he was like, I see my guy friends do this all the fucking time.

He was like, I will see my friend.

He will follow a girl and then when she follows him back, he said it’s so obvious.


I see him.

He’s like, oh my God, she’s so hot.

Hot, she just followed me.


I got to go like, like like like like having it and it’s like rapid fire likes, he’s like like an eighth of her pictures and the founders like what are you doing there?

You’re playing your hand.

Why are you doing that?

There is an Instagram, etiquette guide, Instagram, etiquette, you know, what’s worse than that is when they go and you maybe have one or two bikini pictures.


Yes, and those are the one or two that they go in like they completely bypass.


Or surpass.

Here we go.

But they litter, they like Go pass.

Any picture of your family without you, not showing cleavage and they’re like titty.


What about when they go back?

Like two years and he waited years for creep.


Oh mode.

So let me tell you guys.

This is what you’re supposed to be doing.

Well Alex.

When can I see ya?

We go on.

Keep going, keep going.

The guy going back two years to like your bikini picture from two years ago.


It’s like what’s that?

Knock it off?

At the fuck off, not only are you creeping back, why 26 to go to a bikini picture?

Find my tits or my ass that to a girl lets her know.

You’re just trying to fuck and immediately.

I’m like kind of like what the fuck if your guy does that?


To me dead to me.


Oh, you can occasionally like the bikini picture, but not on the first round and so I’m we’re gonna give this to you guys straight every guy out there.

This is what you’re supposed to be doing.

You are not going to go on a liking spree, the minute.

She follows you back or even just when you’re going to like her pictures for the first time.


Okay, you Going to dabble with liking about to two, maybe three pictures.

Now the pictures you are going to be liking, this is so important and I think this just goes way over guy’s head sometimes because their clouded by sex, you need to fake it til you fucking make it.


Alright, and I’m sorry girls, but this is I’m just helping guys out here.

If you want to trick them into believing, you’re not there for sex, trick them into thinking, you can you turn to think you give a shit about what their actual life is.

So what you’re gonna do is You’re going to look for what they are interested.


In act.

Like you give a shit about their life.

Have they traveled?

Have they played a sport?

Do they have a dog?

Do they like animals?

Find that thing that they show a little bit of interest in and you are going to go and like that picture of her traveling abroad through Italy.


And then you’re going to like one of her smiling pictures where it’s just showing, literally her face.

Note it because this is what this is.

The whole point of it.

This allows men.

To segue right into the DMS in the least, creepy way.


And let me give you an example.

This is from milk Hunter.

He said this is this is his bread and butter.

It works every time he finds the thing.

He finds the girl and Mel Proctor fucks everyone.

Listen up.

He said I found a girl that went abroad to Italy.



He has never been to fucking Italy.

Okay, and he started liking her, Italy, pictures, and use that.

As a way to slide in and told her no way.

I just I went there with my family.

Loved that part of Italy.

Oh my gosh, like that’s so amazing.

You’ve traveled there.

What was your favorite part or something?


Acting this girl’s gonna be like shit.

Like this guy is like, pretty much low-key into my life, and not my fucking tips.

And then he said, he will take it so far as she’ll make.

No way like un.

And he’ll go on fucking Google and it will get an inconspicuous picture of Italy and he’ll send it to him in.


Like that was me last summer, ball ball, ball rolling through Google.

I was gonna say, milk Hunter is definitely way very well versed in this, but the point is, is he said it when you allow them to see that your first interactions have nothing to do with sex and with her tits in her ass.


She is immediately.

Her walls are going to come down and be like this guy.

He said, every girls always like, wow, I thought you were gonna be a douche and you’re into like, does your interest at?

This is very similar to the inside Joe.

Yes, because if it guy slides into my DMs and he’s like, hey like Like, what’s up?


How are you doing?


No, I’m not going to answer that.

He’s gonna say something about, you know, some where I’ve been or, yes, then you’re like, okay.

I’m like that would Lauren told on their conversation.

Yes, it warrants a conversation.

I think I do have pics in Thailand.

Etc, slide ahead on it.


This is not, no, but guys, this is huge.

And I promise you, it will work in a way that then what happens is because the girls walls come down later on is when you’ll A bikini picture and even you could send it to her in the DMZ.


Once you guys have started talking and flirting and being like, you look so good in this babe like Etc.

And then you’re like damn because then what happens with girls is we we do like when they like the bikini pictures, just at the right time because I’m like he thinks I’m kind of cute he wants to bottom then I’m like, oh he likes how I look in a bikini.


So now I’m going to be a freakin back.


Beautiful our guys, get on that shit.

Don’t go into like he’s free be strategic.

The whole world of Instagram is just something.

Really crazy.

It’s definitely something I ain’t Instagram has completely taken over.



Has we’ve all heard of people purchasing fake followers and fake likes death.

Everyone knows which is like sad, but it was brought to my attention that people will actually buy account Instagram account.

Yep, going delete all the photos and completely change the username and upload all of their shit.


And so they’re starting with like a hundred k, a million.

I didn’t know that was a thing.


Did you?

Well, sweetheart, I kind of did and that I mean, it’s the whole summer Rae thing.

We know you summer song.

Yeah, summer dude.

Is that summer dice a summer summer summer a summer.


I don’t know.

So Summer Rae.

If you guys know her, she’s like really famous on Instagram for like taking followers like 20, maybe 20 million, something 12 million.

I don’t know.

It’s in the millions.

And so Summer Rae is, I mean, it’s like a lot of people in La talk about it.


She said, Supposedly her mother, her gist.

I think it was a porn star of the count.

No, I think it was it was either an old porn stars account or just like a sex or just like a hot girl.



Let me execs account.

Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking, choose one of those and so naturally, you know, her mother and write a porn account.


And so her mother was just so generous, and I guess she bought summer this account, they deleted all of the pictures and she started with like, a couple million followers.

It’s And her first post.

She was like, guys, my account got hacked, like, I’m back.



Now, the Brilliance of that Brilliance is that you, I mean, these people are trying to follow a porn star and see ass and tits excetera, right?

So when you go in there and you’re uploading pics of your assets, like, oh, love it.

I feel like she looks a little different today, but I’m down for it.


Like Stacy turned into summer and I’m here for it because your ass is still fat.

It is pretty crazy.

And listen.

I’m not shitting on her, do what you gotta do.

New girl good for your fucking mother getting in on that shit.

I kind of why is my mom not buying me until they’re not that expensive.


We’re looking the other day and it was like, I think because we were doing research for this specific topic, the, a hundred thousand was like, was like 3003 Grand.

Okay, but then I think about 12 million.

It could be about like 20 grand, 20 plus something Grand or more, but you know what, sugar, daddy, but think about that 20 grand to buy the account and then you make Donnie million quick.


Yeah, so I mean I’ve everyone go buy fake instead.

Yeah, and I wasn’t we’re not shitting on summer.

I’m like, do you girl?

That’s fucking brilliant.


I need to start.

She’s a fucking business woman.


She’s a businesswoman and now she’s making a shit ton of money and her glow up.


She didn’t even need to work.

She just swipe that credit card he or she is here to stay.

You know, good old drunk sex.

We are going to preface this by saying you never fuck around with consent.




No, this we’re going to talk about a comedic podcast.

Yeah, and I’m sorry to break it to the world, but people have had drunk sex.

Women have had drunk sex and we’re gonna talk about talk about talk about on the podcast, I whatever we want.

All right, so let’s talk about it, call her daddy fashion.


So I’m excited.

Drunk Sachs who doesn’t love a good little drunk sex.

Oh, man.

I don’t love it.

I don’t either sometimes it’s it’s a slippery slope, very slippery slope the drunk sex.

There’s obviously different levels.


There’s a lot of ways it can go, drunks are a lot of ways it can go and then there’s, there’s different levels.

There’s, you know, you wake up and you’re like, why am I completely naked?

Yeah, and why do my hair like Farrah Fawcett on here.

And like, did I go home with a 19 year-old where?


Where am I?

Who is this?

It’s yeah, it’s definitely slippery.


And sometimes you do just have little glimpses of like, what went down.


It’s like when you get in the Uber, okay, there is something about getting in a car after you’ve been drinking.



Why does no one ever remember?

No one ever remembers the car ride ever wire at the bar.

You’re hammered.

You remember it you somehow get into an Uber that you have no recollection of the drive and then you’re like starting to sound.

I’ll schedule, you know, and then your back.


No, it’s true.

Yeah, and then you’re back to reality.

How many times that your how many times have?

You said, Alex?

How the fuck did we get home?

I always say that because I don’t know maybe it’s cause like your guard is down.

Once you sit down in the car.

I don’t fucking know in the motion, you know, airplanes put people to sleep.


Oh, miss our car.

Kind of knocks you out with sex.

I am where to God, like what happened?

There are times where I’m completely fine.

Yeah, and then something about this.

Sex made me blackout.

Yeah, guys.

Drunk sex is one of those things that it can be great and frisky and gross and nasty, but you’re like, oh, I want to fuck him drunk tonight.


It’s going to be fun.

And then all of a sudden you take that one, extra tequila shot.

And instead of having great drunk sex, you are now waking up wondering, was I a dead fish?

Yep, or was I a fucking freak on his dick?

And if I was a fucking freak out, how big of a freak?


Play like, was I swinging from the fucking ceilings.


What they are doing?

A headstand on the bed or was I just lay there like a dead body for him?

Dead body.

Ain’t that scary.

Scary, isn’t it?

So annoying?

To because guys, if they get whiskey dick, if they’re too fucked up, they can’t really sometimes.


Fuck girls can always perform.

It’s about what fucking level.

Are we doing that it horrifies?

It’s terrifying and I think this is extremely prevalent when you’re younger and like in the Hook-Up culture.

Old sure, because half the time I want to go with guys when I’m drunk.

Yeah, and you’re going to the bar and that’s like how you’re socializing.


So let’s get into drunk stack, drunk sex.

Let’s first talk about your body.

You wake up.

The next morning.

Girls have this thing.

We’ve talked about it.

Like when you’re getting railed from behind we tell girls, make sure your arch is like your back is arched and to like your ass looks good.


Don’t be a hunch to Hunchback of Notre.

Dame up in this bitch when you’re drunk, all that goes out the fucking window.

What do I look like when you are sober?

You have control over your body.

You can position your body in a way to like make it look hot.

I’m not gonna lie to.

I suck my tummy in a little bit.


Absolutely back when he’s top that behind booty.


You’re drunk.

Forget about it.

You are sitting here with, like, your little pot-bellied out and you’re like scooting on Dick everything hang out.


I think you’re so hot in the moment.

Probably, you know, it’s not me while it’s like, you look like a beached whale.

You’ve been drinking, beer, all night.

So you’re bloated as shit, like fuck, man, like you’re like, what did what did I look like while?

I was writing this guy?

And what?


What was I saying?


What the fuck?

Did I say last night dude, did I take it to the freak level where you’re like, I want you to fuck me so hard to him in the hospital and a fucking coma, right?

Or were you dead fish crying about your ex-boyfriend.

And I don’t remember.


That’s the thing is here, lying.

Sometimes the guy the next He looks at you terrified and you’re like, what did I do this?

Poor unfortunate soul because think I like screaming like bloody murder and he had a like, fucking put his hand over my mouth.


Like was I had all this roommates hate me?

Yeah, right.

Like how loud was?

I or like datum.

Screw me and then I’m gonna screw your dad.

And then I want you to watch me.

It’s just like the level, the level or level 2 drove that it really is kind of terrifying.


I think the Talking part is terrifying and also, So I think there’s something with girls.

We have talked about faking, orgasms, and you are so good at faking them that goes out the fucking window when you’re drunk baby.

You are human.


You imagine like you are dry humping, the pillow and you are screaming like I’m gonna come and he’s literally like standing in the bathroom.

He’s like, yeah, we know.

I left Ida p.m.

Over here.

You like I’m literally not even on the back and you think your little I was his ticket baby.


That feels so good.

Like keep doing that and he’s like, my dick is Lawson and I’m across the room.

So you’re fucking lying or you’re on top of him.

You have it.

He hasn’t even been able to get it up yet and you’re halfway through and you’re like, I’m ready to go.

He’s like, I’m not even inside of you.


That’s really the remote control.

You just picked up off the ground.

No, it’s hot.

It is no easy feat.

It’s not an orgasm.

So I can only imagine it went.

Cringing production.

I forgot, I’m coming.

I’m coming.

Oh my God.

No, you’re not.

No, you’re not.

Shut the fuck.

I just put it in and just put it shut the fuck up.


You know, it’s really quite embarrassing.

How embarrassing now that I’m thinking about it because I think about my college days.

Yeah, and I know I’ve done this before.

When you lay there in the morning.

You also think how did it start?

How did I initiate it?

Did he initiate?


Did, I had boyfriends in the past that were like, we got home.


Oh, We said we’re going to watch Netflix and chill and cuddle.

And I went to the bathroom and I came back and you were completely naked with your legs spread and you were like, hey, babe.

What’s up?

What’s up Ben?

Here’s my vagina.

There’s your dick dude.

Think about yourself and your drunken State.


Well, we really like the ugly smirking.

Like so creepy, like drool coming out your mascaras.

I’m like babe.

Oh, you fuck you boy.

And your your titties are like in your armpit and you like come fuck he gave and he’s like this is nasty.


But whatever.

I have a dick, I’ll fuck you.

It’s not cute for girls.

It’s not fair.

I think also, something really rough is we just talked about briefly the morning that you wake up?


I think it’s one of those things that every girls had it.

You kind of try to get a sense, you look at him and you’re like, so and you feel bad having to ask me.


You don’t want to think you forgot about all of it through like so, like, I Like brown a little bit.

Like, was it good?

Like how was it?

And when he gives you that, like, awkward, like those go like, I gotta like, get up today and you’re like, fuck, fuck, fuck you can sell herself or when he kind of looks at you and he was like, you were wild and your life.


Honestly pretty horrible or if you text them after because you don’t have the balls to do it in person and they don’t answer for a certain amount of time in your freaking out was a horrible.

What did I do?

It is so cringy.

I remember I had an ex-boyfriend that said I fell off the bed while we were fucking.


I was drunk and you have I fell off and I was Is imagining how my body looks sprawled out?

Naked on the ground?

Think that hands down one of the most disgusting things?

A girl can do during sex in our mind?


A guy may not think it is.


Girls, every girl knows, if you fall off the bed, right?

Naked as fuck sprawled out.

Limbs everywhere.

Tummy out tails on the floor.

Oh, yeah, not cute.

That’s disgusting.

It really is a naked falling off.


Back off the bed.

Before horrible.

It’s and like my head on the way down.

Like, I’m good.

Let’s keep going.

I’m can Kyle.

It’s disgusting.

Yeah, and it’s embarrassing but the morning after it is a little bit tricky, drunk sack you want to ask the guy but then you don’t want to ask your like I have to know and then he gets uncomfortable about it.


Everything goes I’m thinking even like from a blowjob standpoint.

It’s like you in your mind When You’re Sober, you’re like and make sure I’m not using teeth and makes it when you’re a fucking drunk.

Like this is gonna be discussing me.

Holy fucking grinding, your teeth on that thing.

That’s, that’s a dangerous when it’s I don’t believe don’t drink in suck a dick.


Don’t drink inside, don’t drink and drive.

Don’t drink and suck a dick for real.

Holy shit.


Drunk sex guys.

I would love to hear people’s drum.

Yeah, always if you have any I think next week we should talk about like just awkward shit that happens during sex cause you bringing up the pulling off the bed.



How awkward is it with a guy falls off the bed, you know, this is what it is.

It’s when something awkward happens.

It’s making the decision to To either keep fucking or like that too.

Often stop.


It’s just got to end.

Well, we should talk about that.


Make sure we should because I’m thinking I think it’s so awkward.

I’ve had a guy fall off the bed before and I’m looking at it and it’s like his wieners kind of like flopped over now on his tummy and he’s like, oh, he’s not any ladies emasculated right over Massachusetts liner big Burly, man, and he’s like sprawled out on the ground.


Do I offer him a hand?

Like what do I do?

I just kind of lay there and just we should talk about All right.

Oh, Charlemagne.

Charlene, Charlene.


If you guys, didn’t we introduced ourselves like that.

Last week, we just wanna let you know, those our Alter Egos.

And it’s really funny because they’re just interchangeable, like, sometimes I’m Charlemagne sentence.


I’m Sharlene sometimes.

Yeah, it is kind of interesting.

So anyways, Charlemagne, what’s up, Charlene?

Some crazy, not crazy stuff, but crazy off, ya, crazy ass, crazy, Charlene.

Charlene shit went down.

We were back at it again this week.


On our bullshit.

We definitely pulled some crazy shit to men and we’re just here to hold ourselves accountable, Alex and I both fucked up this past week, but we didn’t because we never fuck me ever.

Fuck up like it was a fuckup, but then it ended up coming out on top.

So you tell yours, what did you do this week?


That was fucking mad.

I’m keeping myself for what I did.

Okay, but not to him, but to the rest of the world.

Yeah, there’s like my therapy.

I’m just letting it out rare.


Therapy session.

Here we go.

And I want to know if this has happened to people, so I was on Instagram, scrolling through Instagram.

I’m looking at people’s stories.


And this guy I’m talking to calls me love that.

We were kind of having like a finicky fickle.

Dane terms of talking like you Affinity like this all day folks.

He wasn’t like really responding to his quickly.

Little bitch.

I was feeling a little insecure.


You little bitch boy.


I was feeling a little insecure.

He calls me.

I’m so excited to talk to him.

Let’s call him.


Stephen, Stephen.

I hear a girl very loudly.

Very clearly.

She Not even standing right next to him.

I don’t like that.

I don’t like that at all immediately.


I’m like, you are dead to me dead.

Like your apartment will be burned down.



Naturally, he, right.

So then we keep talking and I keep hearing this girl.

And finally I was like, yo Steven, do you just want to call me back?


Like you obviously seen busy and he goes silent and he’s like, what are you talking about?

And I’m like, you just seem like you’re a little busy, you know what want?

Hey later, and he’s like, no, I don’t want to call you later.

So I’m like, whatever we keep talking.



I’m like, there is a bitch right next, like she’s still talking.

That keeps talking Steven.

Call me later Steven.

This is fucking rude.

And I’m gone Stevens.

The most annoying thing and he had no idea what you’re talking about.

He’s pretending is no idea.


He’s returning.

He has no idea.

He’s like, you are psycho.

I don’t know what you’re talking.

I was like on how well you’ll see psycho.

Bitch, if you are hanging out with a girl, why don’t?

You just be a little bit smarter about it and tell her to shut the fuck up.

I write have a little beer calling me.

What a fucking duck tape on your side.

Ho, while you’re speaking sir.


Main duct tape.

God damn you.

Head up.

I hang up and the Instagram story that I was previously watching though is playing or it might have been the story after.


But I realized at that moment that might that the instagram-stalking.

He was playing while I was on the phone.

Call with the guy the voice.

You heard once again in my head.

Oh shit.

Okay, from Instagram.


So Cassandra cooking in the kitchen on Instagram story was then transferred onto the phone and she was with Steven.

Can you imagine how psychotic you imagine, how great he like?

What is she talking about?

I’m dating a full schizophrenic person.

Literally you are on the phone.


I can hear her and he’s like, cyclone in my heart.

You’re here.

During things.

So young in his bed laying there.

It’s so crazy.

You guys, you guys any careful the other day.

My mom called me and I could still hear the story.

Like the Instagrams, when you’re like Mom and that’s never happened.



Your phone’s fucked.

Your bonus bucks sold out.

I could see how that would fuck with me and I can also see how that makes you look really fucking schizo.

I mean, did I ever confessed to him?

No fuck?


Did it?

You were decided rather than think of me as a crazy bitch than an idiot.

I know how to work my phone bitch.


Ha ha ha.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, did you ever acknowledge it yourself?

Hi, babe.

Call them back.

And I call - like sorry about that little Outburst.

I’m fine.


Let’s hang out.

I had a similar situation.

I was a little more.

I was involved in this one else brought me in.


So I was hanging out with the guy that I am on and off with and I got a glimpse of a name that texted him on his phone and I saw that like it was a girl, it looked like, The name Michaela and how much of the name did you see?


I saw, like, am I am I came because she spells her name every but I was like so you know because I have stopped every single girl if he follows and I know he follows a Michaela with an M.


So I naturally was like that has to be the blonde girl on in syrup.




So I saw that.

She texted him and immediately I go into bitch mode.

I’m ignoring him.

We’re laying on the couch.

He’s like, what’s wrong, what’s wrong?

I’m like, I’m just like, I just need space.

I’m just annoyed, I get up.

I go to the bedroom.

Yeah, I text Sophia.


I mean, I text her immediately that you had her Instagram pulled up with a minute.

I sent you her Instagram, immediately eat, like, which I am through entering. 60 sec.

I was like, hi.

This is the girl.

He’s texting her.

What do you think I should do?

Yeah, and I like you were like, he is married.

He’s married.

He’s she’s pregnant with his child buried.



And Me by like, see the thing is, Alex.

You were like, like keep yourself accountable.

I do have advice.

The link that advice.

The advice is actually really great, you guys, I sometimes I can really pull through pull through.

I kind of just had to bring you back down to earth and remind you, that you had a dick in your mouth.


Yeah, they’re literally pulley the day before you left, fuck.

So, you know, I don’t really know if I like still freaked out freaked out.


It’s a therapeutic experience, but no.

So but yeah, you did keep me accountable.

And so it finally, I confronted him and I was like, I took the whole because you know what, when you’re You’re not dating the person.


You can’t be like why the fuck are you texting or so, I took the route of.

I just think it’s so rude that you’re gonna in front of me, just be texting.

Other girls when I’m here like my time is valuable.

So if you want to fuck around with your hose do it while I’m gone, and he looked at me like I actually had five heads and he was like and what happened?


Dalek tell them tell them after a lot of debating back and forth.

I Now, it was his cousin and she was sending him family photos and he literally for proof, open his phone and just hand it to me.


And there he was because we’re not Idiot with the cousin on his lap and the good old family was back together.

Idiots of a guy tells you that Daddy gang.

Yeah, it’s you gotta see the proof because I catch it.

Sofia I said, it’s his cousin.

I was like, I’m just like Alex I was invested in this and spend an hour of my day.


Give you advice and Alex Goes.

Good, and then the, the craziest thing is and this is how the crazy always fucking wins.

He started yelling.

He walked out and slam the door.

I win in that very moment.


I was like, I win because what happened?

Sofia, he came back to you and he was like, yeah.

I just wanted to apologize for slamming the door.

I’m walking out and reacting that way.

That’s what you gotta do is when you are like about to get in trouble and when you’re in the wrong you gotta wrap it up.


Got a ramp it up to make them do something, then.

They apologize.

The girls when you get caught being psycho.

You gotta make him get angry and then you gotta turn it around on them up.

I feel like we always bring the knowledge.

And today is we are spinning.


Another knowledge hack at the daddy.


Get out your pencils.

Get out your pen.

Stop your car.

Get out of the car.

Get on top of the car.

Sorry, please don’t get hit by a car.


I think this is really underrated.


I think it’s so underrated.

It’s it reminds me of when we brought the double tap in the double tap is like, change people’s lives.

This one’s fucking Savage.

I think it’s so amazing.

In fact, I think it’s so underrated that I sent this to my friend and she was like, what the hell is that?

What I need to know what it was.


I’ve never seen that before and I was like, where are my girlfriend girlfriend?

You gotta use this so men and women can both use this whole hockey.

Yep, invisible ink invisible ink on Harry Potter.

His bullying.

And I’m pretty sure if have a fucking iPhone for this.

All of you Galaxy users.


I’m sorry, but you gotta have an iPhone, the invisible ink option is when you’re sending a text to someone, you can hold the arrow down to send and you get options and the invisible ink.

One allows you to send the text message and when they see the text message, it’s just like a bunch of fuzzy stuff.


It’s blurred.

It’s blurred, you have to press down on the text message and it will the blurring will go away.

And then you An see what they wrote.

Yeah, and then once you release your finger off of it, it goes back to blurred.

This is brilliant.

This works for Sony different things for me.




My mom.

When I go home, my phone is her phone.


So you will, literally actually talk to, guys, attack them.

Like, one of them up to my mom does the same fucking thing.

I look at that age where it’s like high school.


You hate your mom.

Sometimes college or disconnected?

When you’re at this age?

My mom’s, like we, what is he up to?

You know, what is he doing?

What is he doing?


This is just a tiny little story.

My mom message.

This guy on Raya the dating app off your phone, off of my phone pretending to be me.


You’re living through messaged him and now I’m like low-key dating him but not dating but like kind of dating.

No, no like dating like like having a sexual.

If I got everybody.

I’m still fucking everybody.

I’m sorry if you guys thought so feels in a relationship.


Holy day.

Early this morning teacher.

I felt our on her way to work.

Put the Uber driver.

We’re fine.

Sophia did not have a boyfriend.

She’s dating as in sleeping with people.


So your mom message the guy?

Oh, it’s fine.

But it’s true.

Are my mom does the same thing.

I’m so basically the invisible ink allows you when you’re even if you’re with your boys, if you’re with your girlfriends and people are kind of lurking looking over your shoulder.



So my whole point was that when I go home or any time with the family members, specifically my mom she is always being such a creeper and looking at my phone and being like who Max did you bubba, when I’m sitting there at breakfast with my younger brother and my mom trying to fuck a little sex.


Don guy wants to send me a dick pic or say like, oh my god, when a rally from behind and then stuff your muffin with a nice cucumber.

I was a little things like that would like that to be sent with invisible ink.



This is, this is the thing daddy gang.

What were telling you is Sophia and I have started to do this and guys think it’s so hot.


And so, guys, and girls can do this first and foremost in Visible ink can be used for sexting and I think it’s so hot because what happens is Sophia’s talking to this new guy and she’ll send him like he’s at work and she’ll send him like, oh my God, I’m thinking about your like hard dick.

I want you to fuck me later tonight, whatever simple shit and she’ll send it in, invisible ink and now because she’s been sending things that are sex in invisible ink, he knows when he gets an invisible ink, he gets all excited downstairs because he’s like, oh shit.


She’s talking dirty, like it kind of tips you off like damn it.

It’s practical and it’s sexy.

It’s fun.

And it’s fun.

Like if a guy sagging I get excited you too.

I think it’s really hot.

If a guy sent me an invisible ink all the time when he was trying to like and it does have to be all the time.


But when you’re starting a sext maybe or it’s during the day, send him, invisible ink, it’s fun.

It’s spice’s shit up and it’s also like I like it.

You know, what if you’re a dude and you’re hanging out with your boys and you want to send your girl like a mushy lovey-dovey.

Yes, and you know, your boys are like looking over.


Your shoulders are in allaying today.


You’re like your own me now boy, that’s another great time to do that.

And I also think it would be really fucking funny.

Now I’m thinking about it if an ex texted you and he was like I miss you.

If you send invisible ink back in the past is just said, fuck off.


So he like press.

He’s like what?

Chef Joseph.

Fuck off.

So it is really kind of whatever you send.

It seems more dramatic.


Yeah, so, he’s like, oh, she’s not the answer.


Don’t use those features on the iPhone at all.


All we need to do, we need to start using.


I forget to use them and it makes conversation so much more fun.

Millennials man.

Double Taps invisible ink, we’re out here.

Get him with like this slam one.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck you.

Fuck you both.

All right.


Questions are there will be questions.

Questions, about phone question table for seven questions of the week.

Here we go.

I mean I got a fucking popping with a little drama.


I fucked a husband of the Real Housewives of Dallas Savage up in this bitch.


So I met him in his friend at happy hour right down the street, from where I work.

He talked about his wife.

His friend claimed to be divorced showed me, pictures of their kids, everything the night.


And they basically became my sugar daddies.

I literally was handed a wine glass after wine glass at this, super nice restaurant and get this shit.


I’m in the middle of them and they are both touching different legs under the table.

At this point.

I was like, holy, fuck.

This is about to be a fucking three-way.

Are you kidding?

The night goes on more and more.

The divorce guy is showing more interest than the husband of the housewife.

So I was like, okay, I’m here for it.



We ended up at a club and then all of a sudden somehow, it’s just me and the house.

Wives husband, he hands me his phone.

I pick a hotel, put his credit card number in it.

And I have the best Buck of my life pressed up against a window with the skyline view of downtown Houston.


Thanks, Real Housewives.

Did she say who know what the fuck?

I want to know?



This is real housewives of Dallas.

Yeah, real housewives of Dallas.

Your husband’s are being shady.

I think they all are right.

I think we know specifically Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.


Yep, someone’s we know, one of their Honey Hill.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, her husband’s like 70 years old.

That’s how you say it, baby.

Should we just say, I’m okay.

Go ahead.

Lisa Vanderpump.

Lisa Vanderpump hunt, husband, is he not 90?


It’s literally 19.

Head is about to conk out and we know from a reliable source, because she’s one of them that he has multiple girls that he pays for their rent in York La Etc and he’s fucking around on me.

So goddamn The Real Housewives, everyone.


All their husbands are doing it.

So I hope they’re also fucking guy.

It’s all those reality shows.

All right.

So there you go.

Daddy gang.

I was just listening to the episode.

Where you discuss getting into your partner’s phone.

When you don’t have the password.

I have the solution that works every time when they are just about to enter their password on the phone laptop or iPad you pretend you are on your phone.


So they don’t think you are looking but you are actually filming them.

Enter their password.

Shut the fuck up.

Then you have a recording of it.

Oh my God, they type fast then you can slowly.


The video.

I had my ex-boyfriends passwords to everything for a year and he never knew whole.


Oh my God, who is this woman?

And she needs to come on, dude, that it’s brilliant for the CIA Ali.

I where is she?

Holy fuck lucky, really excited right now.

Pretend you’re on your phone, but you’re really recording them putting in their password.


That is so G.

Why have we never thought of doing something like that?

I’ve never thought of it.

Although I did my In town, okay, and we randomly popped into this Spy Museum.

Okay, and this shit that they had in there.

I was like the ways.


If you really wanted to catch someone cheating.

We just said, basic ass shit, like, on a phone applications.

They have like little lipstick devices that are cameras pens that rockers you can put up their butthole when your fingering them.



Yeah, dude, that honestly, guys, that is why, where that is.


That is some brilliant shit.

I appreciate that one.

I’m going to use that one next time.

All right, talk about genius.

I know a lot of girls including myself that have felt insecure about how they taste when a guy eats them out one night before initiating sex with my man.


I decided to open a Splenda packet and put the smallest amount.

On my two fingers.

I then proceeded to rub it in on my inner vision and make sure it dissolved while eating me out my man.

Not stop saying sexy things about house.


I tasted my God loved it.


I do it every time and he always talks about how good I taste afterwards and tells all of his friends, how good I taste best part is, I have never told him about my little trick.

So we think.


I put all my God.

Holy shit, dude, so it literally tastes so sweet.


Wait, this is like kind of Genius.

Okay, or is it a little dangerous?

It could definitely be a little dangerous.

You could definitely maybe get like a lot of action down.


But if it’s just like a tiny bit and he’s immediately licking it out that girls.

I mean, I love it.

We’re over here saying like it could be dangerous.


But yeah, three weeks overly output some cocaine on her clit and lick it off.


No, I think that’s brilliant.

That is Brick, curls.

Daddy’s fucking put that shit on there.

I’m into it.

I’m gonna try that.

This is more of a serious question.



I am with this boy, but I really want to break up with him.

He is super attached though, and I am afraid of hurting his feelings, even though I know I Do, what is best for me?

In the meantime though?

Do I cheat on him?


Easy breakup phrases reasons?

Can you give me?


I’ve never broken up with someone?

So this is unchartered territory.

Okay, honestly, if you want to break up with him, just break up with him.

I think we should do an entire like big fat segment in breaking up and how to break up with this really hits hard.

This is the thing.

I understand where she’s coming from.


I’ve had that where the guy is so nice, he’s not doing anything wrong, but you just like, actually just Can’t, it’s just not there for you.

I think breaking up with someone is arguably harder than someone breaking up with you.

It is, especially it just depends on the situation.

My advice for the situation would be, you have to also think about him and as much as you think that you’re going to be hurting him.


Yeah, at the end of the day, the longer you string him along, to believe that there’s a future.

The more it’s going to hurt him in the long run once you finally break up.

So, the sooner the better that’s don’t drag it on what I was going to.


Yeah, and I also think that there’s something to be said about doing it in a way that you can’t be around the bush.


There’s a lot of girls if it’s a nice guy like listen, like maybe in the future, but you can’t ever give them.

Hope you have to say.

I thought about it a lot and I know this is going to Blindside you, but where I’m at in my life right now.

This relationship just isn’t working for me.


I love you dearly, but I think we’re just at two different places in our life and like, I need to, I need to kind of do my own thing.


I completely agree.

You need to remind yourself that it is just more damaging to waste his time, as well as yours in the long run.


It fucking sucks man.

It’s not it’s not easy.

But I do suggest don’t give them hope when you’re trying to be nice and then they think that they have a chance and then you move on.


And then I mean if you want to cheat, obviously she but like I didn’t break up anyway, but I think then you’ll also feel shittier if you’re cheating because he’s such a nice guy, if he’s a douche fucking cheap.


So if you find out that you cheated, I bet your dad happier than fucked.


That’s true.


Great Point Sophia, okay.

Daddy gang SOS SOS.

Please help.

So my sister has had this fishy and sometimes bloody vagina smell that has been going on for about three to four months.


It’s going, it’s getting to the point where other people are beginning to notice.

And she has yet to realize it.

She says there has been some discharge but thinks it’s totally normal.

How do I tell her that she has a smelly vag?

If there’s a nice?

Is there a nice way to say it gets so bad that even though it’s been really cold in California.


I have to drive with the ace.

On to avoid the smell.

Am I a bad sister?

For not telling her, by the way, she’s only 26 fucking tell her.

It’s her sister.

And her sister.


You had a problem.

I really like Alex.

Fucking shit cleaned up.


You smell like a bloody fish.

That’s weird that she doesn’t want to tell her.


I also it truly to the say blows my mind when girls do not know that their vagina smells like you.

I know immediately, if something is off.

I know immediately immediately.

So listen, I think this is one of the things girls, we need to stop being so.

A fucking sensitive.


I think that’s something that you and I are pretty good at is like I don’t get I’m gonna tell you the truth because I care about you more and I don’t want people.

You been to be embarrassing for the people rolled each other something wrong.


You need to take sugar like a tampon, still up there.

Something you need to take care of.

Your body is like a delicate ecosystem down.



It goes wrong, all done.

I so I would if I were you I’d be like, make it casual.

Be like wait, dude, and act like it’s the first time, you’re smelling it be like wait.

Hold on.

I likes melted the other day and I didn’t know, but I think you need Get it checked out because I actually bad, like, I love you, but it’s like, pretty bad and then chill and I’m even if she’s her feelings, are hurt.


There’s obviously something wrong.

Okay, next.

I love having rough kinky sex, but my boyfriend would rather have slow and very passionate sex.


What are some things I can go to to keep at hot?


Still romantic.

I appreciate any of your feedback, love your podcast, listening all the way from Kawaii, Hawaii.


Okay, that’s good.

This is what I want to say.


I know the X9.

Talk about sex like, it is a fucking sport.

Like it is like a fuck fest.

It’s like a porn rabbits like yes, exactly.


You’re talking about it.

Like, it’s like a porn.

Yeah, we do.

It’s fine.

If you want to have romantic style.

Yeah, I’ve had romantic sex before I think you can have both.

I think what I would do is I would just start saying nasty your shit to him while you’re in the heat of the Romantic need to like I fucking love you baby.


Like feel how wet.

I am start.

On that shit.

And then don’t go overboard.

Don’t go over point B, like I’m a little whore, right?

But no, no, don’t say The Horde flush it but be like, talk talk.

So dirty to him about the details.

Like I feel your cock.

I want that cop and say, I love when you, like, call me this, right?


I love.

Like, I love when you, yeah, exactly start being nastier with your words because maybe then it could escalate.

And I also think that you can take a little bit more charge.

If you’re in missionary style.

You don’t have to just lay there.

And be Central like, you could spice it up, grabbing his back, pulling his thighs.


I got making him go deeper into yeah and let him know that you like Bo.

Yeah, you’re like, oh like I only ask fuck like a psycho.

I mean, I think it’s hard if your love then some guys get like really mushy.

I think also that’s when you can roleplay I’d be like you can go back and forth.

I maybe I literally had sex it started as like us being like total free.



And then like Midway like it kind of transitional of being like, yeah, I would fucking hate if I was stuck in the love phase because Like I get it’s like hot.

I want, I’ll I want you to fuck me.

Like I’m a horse.

Like, please please for the love of God.

I just wanted to answer that question because I know Alex honey.


Talk about sex, like we’re like, no, it’s good.

I can degrade me in some right Buddy.

Holly way afterwards.

No, I think it’s good.

All right.

This one is interesting.

I have this friend who is in between jobs and needed to make some cash to keep her afloat, until she got hired by her current place of employment.


Well, she turned to finding a sugar daddy.

She didn’t find the sugar daddy on the typical seeking arrangements website.

She found him on Plenty of Fish.

So the arrangement that they agreed upon is that she would get $2,000 bi-weekly if she would send a photo to him once a week.



Here’s the kicker, the photo it has to deal with the fetish called copper philia.

The poopoo he wanted her to send pictures of her pill after she took, A shit in the toilet.


So she kept up with this for a while, for a month and a half, and she would send him pictures of her poop.

And then he asked her to take a video of her shitting with her asshole and poop in the frame.

As she took a shit.

She politely declined because at this point it was getting too real, not getting the hint.


He then asked her to come over and take a shit in his personal toilet and leave immediately after, who the fuck.

Is this person?

And is this shit real?

Um, damn.

Damn damn daddy.


Fuck did I just hear there’s so many layers?

First of all.

All right, you’re taking pictures of your shit in the toilet.

Then e ramps.

It up to me once a video of the shit coming out of your bum hole.

And then he instead now wants you to show up at his house, take a massive dump and then leave immediately.



Then he’s gonna take the poker table, then we should goes, is he gonna eat that shit?

That’s what she wrote news.

Is he gonna eat that?

I don’t know if you want to watch her pills.

I don’t know.

He just wanted her to take a shit and he said, put toilet and leave.

I have a question for you, Alex.

Would you rather have sex with a man for money or just send him a video of you taking a shit for money?


Well, I will seal, is the guy like a hot like what you look like.

That’s I found about a prostitute.

You know, that’s a really good point.

Look at these, like 30 and he’s a God that I’m like, oh wait, he’s if he’s fucking 80.

I’m like, here’s my shit Bitch.


You know, I’m going back to mine everyday life.

I mean, it’s kind of, we, that’s kind of, like a little kind of like they’re, they’re both degrading in different ways, but like all, Also, if he’s so into that shit, who gives it?



Here’s a picture of my poop.

I just let one out this morning.

There you go, right.

How about, how about it, big boy?

That’s very interesting.

I don’t think he eats them.

I think the point of her going to the apartment and immediately leaving is because if she won’t send him a picture, then when he leaves when she leaves, he’ll take the picture.


I want to start talking about more fetishes because there are so many out.

It really is truly kind of like interesting.

It is, I love it.

We don’t have enough time this week, but dedicated we went to Cabo.

We were gonna do like a lot on it and we were like, there’s just too much right now.


We’re fucking still just dead.

Some shit went down.

Some shit went down and we need a fuckin talk to you.

We’re gonna talk to you guys about Cabo.

I’m just dead.

We had enough.

I’m so ready to go.

So, next week, we will be bringing to you.

What Kaaba was, what went down some men involved.


You best believe, my nails are.

Short this week.

Oh God.

All right, Daddy’s, I guess that’s it.

Make sure you guys again, we always say to you guys, but please, if you have a second look down at your phone, if you guys are subscribed to the podcast, press unsubscribe, and then re-subscribe.

I honestly have no idea if it helps but I read it on Google.


So we’re going to go think.

So just try it.

Do a couple times.

Yeah, and obviously if you haven’t leave us a rating and review or you I think you can leave multiple.

Yeah and like why not a plethora.

We love you.

Daddy gave me.

Love you guys.

Have a good weekend.

I hope you’re all getting it in as We will be talk to you next week, every fucking Wednesday.