Call Her Daddy - 27 - Our First Foursome.


Call him daddy.

Do I call her daddy?

Call her daddy.

Merry Christmas, bitches.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.


Oh, it’s New Year is.


Okay, great.

That’s gonna confuse the fuck out of people that like, wait.

What am I listening to its call her Daddy, get it again.

Well, well, well, well, well, I’ll be Eeny, Cabo.

Cabochon do Cabo.

San, Lucas went cold on you guys.



I don’t know if you fall from the gram.

Maybe you saw some of our bikini pictures.

I don’t know, tits out ass out for the Graham.

You have to gotta respect it.

You have to do it.

The third strap is all you can rely on in this life that we live.


So guys.

We went to Cabo, which I think a lot of people don’t know.


We went to Cabo for work.

We weren’t just like going, no, raging party, you ever work.

Let’s just get into it.

Just tell them, Kylie Jenner’s, bodyguard.

We had Kylie Jenner’s, bodyguard.

He is a 10 out of 10 out of 10, smoke show, fucking so hot.


We tried to seduce him on numerous occasions.

That’s not a joke.

I would have thought, literally, answer the door topless and be like hi, Hi, how are you amount of times?

I Alex would be like, oh my gosh.

Like, I just, can you just tell me like, if my tits fall out of my nipple, pokes out, and he’s like, my nipples are completely out of sight.


I don’t see anything.

I don’t see.

It’s like I’m actually here trying to like I’m here for your safety.

But I sure like, please hit watch my did second.

So obviously I don’t know if you guys know but it’s the one that like they thought that he was stormy’s, Dad or whatever, right?

So that just got our dicks hard.


Like we were so into it.

I didn’t look at any other man because I was so into town.

I mean and he did not give us the domain.

He was extremely professional fun.

He wasn’t into it kind of sucks.

So we went on Bolta.

It really did.

So I mean there’s a lot of nipples on this trip.



I mean I’ve gone to Vegas, we’ve all done it the day clubs and nightclubs.

It gets wild.

This particular Club situation there.

At one point.

We’re like three girls with areola showing just popping out and they’re all on top of each other.


It was like a threesome grind evening now.

And then, there is like the typical and, like, pop up in her nipples would have been labia poking out.

I don’t ya, couple flaps, hanging out.

The bikini, it was a good look.

We only went for two days.

Yeah, kind of sucks Patriot.


It did suck.

And then we were working both of the days.

Usually I think Alex night.

I mean we were ratchet.

He’s hammered ratchet disgusting.

Yeah, but usually we would have even multiplied though.

We will we will.

We’re gonna do an upcoming trip for sure to a trip just for call her daddy and like, give you guys feedback.



So the men in Cabo, you know, there were some it, we grinded a little, but by the time we got home, there were none.

It was like a choice that we made and then we kind of regret it were like, why don’t we just bring those guys back to her place?

But you know what we saved ourselves.


What do we do?


Well, we reached out to home base.

We called the men in New York.

That’s from Mexico.

That’s what we did.

Their God.

They must have felt spotted international calling card.

I did so and mind you we stayed in a suite where there were multiple places for me to sleep alone and for Alex to sleep alone.


Own but in call her daddy fashion who we picked the bed to sleep together, right next to each other.

We had to cool.

So 3 a.m.

Rolls around, it’s 3 a.m.

And I decide to call my honey bunny know something you call.


The guys are fucking in New York, and I called my guy York and I call him and things turned sexual and that should have been the cue for me to stand up and go to another room.


But Alex and I are so incestual that it didn’t even occur to me.


I was drunk.

I was lazy.

And I was like, you know what, I’m going to do it right next to Alitalia.

And so naturally, what do I do?

I fucking pick up the phone and I call my guy, so Sofia and I just cut to the chase.

Um, we had a bunch of goddamn hours.


I got no fucking no Sophia and I had phone sex.



Why don’t know.

And it wasn’t.

Like Alex and I were like rubbing up on each other.

Maybe we were a little bit towards the end.

We were a little bit I might think I’m pretty sure we fucking old at the same time style.


You were tempting idea.

Yeah, and the thing that I think was truly a blessing is we’re I think we don’t give ourselves enough credit.

We’re really generous.


It was guys.

Wet dream legit, like if a guy was like, okay, you either gonna have Alex or Sophia or you going to have both of them?


I’m innocent.

A 10 out of 10 times are going to be like, let’s go.

Thank you.


So basically, we had our first for some together virtually identical.

I definitely think like we could have taken it to separate bedrooms, but I don’t regret it.


I mean why though, you know, it’s for research purposes mom, if you’re listening there is no need.

There was no need but again for Carlos enough.

At this point.

I think it got us closer.

Yeah, and I could hear what you were selling.

Those guys aren’t so fucked up.


And Love Fest, but the great thing is, you could say something.

I would just repeat what you said and then you can when I was like, blanking on the like, yeah.

Oh my baby.

Let’s do it again.

Work Teamwork Makes the Dream Work baby.

Oh, fuck me.

Hi, Mom.


So yeah.

Cobo was fun.


It was Roger, disgusting.

So, you know, was more out to do, more disgusting.

It’s coming home to our apartment.


Okay, we’ve talked about our apartment.

We talk, right?

There’s this thing and he’s called the slasher.


When I explained it to them Sofia, so I’ll Honey, we’re getting back from a trip.


Yeah, so the news is on, on the plane, and there’s a story and it says, Lower East Side, New York and Alexander like, oh, we live there.

And we look a little bit closer and they mentioned the coordinates and lo and behold our apartment complex is literally right there on that very corner, and they say that there is a man with a sword, slashing people’s faces and we’re like, oh, New York City straight to the slasher.


So now we not only do we live in a bug infested shit invested, but there’s a crazy man Sofia and I’ve been walking around and every time we come close to a man, we kind of just like dip and move and twirl and correlate just like a weird situation.


It’s like we are just really trying to fight for our lives at this very moment.

I wouldn’t we’re really just Take one day at a time.

Our apartment is something that I would never in a million years.

Let someone see fun night.


I have dated guys that are like, can I like?

Oh, like I like want to see like where you live.

You will see the inside of my asshole before you see the apartment.


All never have fuck out.

You’ll know my parents before you see my apartment and nothing a fucking lawn.

Yeah guys, it’s just it just again, we don’t have to tell you that.


So let’s get into it.

Let’s get into it.

So in every relationship, you know, you take that step of the first date, the First Dates can be awkward or they can be amazing.

But today guys, daddy being we are here to bring you.



First Dates, we want to talk about them, like we say on color daddy, you know, we get right to anal.

We gets above five honey, but there is this thing and it is called dating and I do this thing and it is called a first date.

Oh my God, so so let’s talk.

Let’s go.

So, Sofia.

What is the one thing that if a guy was?


To want to take you on a first date.

What could he ask you that?

You’d like?

I’m actually not going.

Never mind.

Okay, if he said, what do you want to do?

Oh, block to get the fuck out of my body off.


Why get out of my face guys, everybody listening.


You have to understand when you see all the memes on Instagram of how indecisive girls are, you know, not a fucking job.

I don’t know what I’m eating for dinner.

Do not know that here and think that I’m going to plan this fucking date.

The second guy is like, what do you want to do?

I’m like, not you.

Not you, and I’m not coming and I woke on that date.


So guys make sure you don’t ask her what she wants to do.


I do think that there is so guys are like, okay, so I just fucking pick a place.

I do think it is appropriate to say.

Do you have any preferences?

If not, I can plan the night for us.

You have to follow it up with.

If not, I got a couple.


Yeah, do you have any preferences and she’s like no.


My bed Netflix and not right.

That’s the first the first device for giving you is.

Don’t fucking ask her where she wants to go.

Second thing.

Don’t ask her.

What type of food?

She likes.

Jesus, just mother, golly.


Why did you want me to like, write a list?


Like my food allergies.

Is that what yours it?


It that hard know that art guys, just unless you’re taking her to like, go, get fucking Ethiopian food or something.

Oh, take her to american-italian.

Even take her to go get sushi, and if she needs to, she can order the fucking chicken teriyaki, like, little uncultured slashes.


My God.

It’s true though, really don’t ask you were like, oh no, what’s your, what food in and out up.

And usually people eat everything and bring her to a place with a big ass menu and choose that one of the fuck’s you want.

Okay, Alex.

What about getting to the date?

Okay, the driving suggestion.


This is how I feel.

I think you’re on the same page as me.

Let me know.

Okay, in at least in New York City, right?

I fucking hate for at least the first date.

If he offers this actually bouncing fucked up, but just bear with me.

I hate when he offers to pick me up in Uber and go with me to the place.


Now, let me explain why.

Okay, I hate it.

Because when you get into an Uber on the first date, you know how that you have, that awkward, small talk that you’ve tried to make before you get to the real talk at dinner.


It’s like it’s like, you’re just kind of sitting there waiting to get to the destination White Noise.


You’re just trying to sell like the weather today, like, get in the back of the Uber and be like, alright, so, back in the day, when my heart broken.

I know.

It’s like, hold on.

Yeah, you make stupid conversation.

So my My go-to I think is I think every guy should offer to get her an Uber to the place and I older guys listening.


I know there are guys on here being like why the fuck did the guys have to do that?

Just be a man.

I’m sorry.

It’s just what it is what it is.

A so many people are like up in arms because it’s like equality in 2019, whatever.

Ya know men.

I’m sorry, get her a fuckin Uber.

That’s how I don’t.

Maybe there’s girls who think differently but I want you to pay for dinner and I want you to get me the car.


I agree.

Don’t you?

Kind of think it’s like hot when they offer you an Uber.

So Like all my when he’s like, let me know when you’re ready and I’ll call you whenever I’m like I just came.

I even you don’t even have a text night.

I literally just came.

So guys, take I think the whole part is take charge.

Like that’s so hot.

Take charge.



That’s what it is.

That’s when it’s really, really hot.

So offer her an Uber.

Yes, and wait, let me just also say, for all the people listening in college or in high school.

I get it.

It’s a little bit different in college.

So if I was in college, yeah, if you have a car, you pick her up and write go, which I get but when you get a little older if you’re in the The city expects her to just meet each other.


That you said something very interesting.

You were like, it looks so hot when guys dry do and I was like, what are you talking about?


Listen, I’m like, I told Sofia this the other day and she looked at me like I was a psycho and I feel like it’s such a thing.

I feel like when I see a guy driving, I feel like he’s so sweet.


Like when you’re sitting next to a man, driving on the highway, I’m like hotness.

Okay, so pretty much you just drive around because everyone’s I mean, when you’re in the car with him, okay, like I remember the first time that my boyfriend in high school picked me up.


He looked so hydrating Hard Road.

No, but then I found out he was like, driving really slow and I was like, why are you driving so slow?

He’s like, I have a DUI.

I don’t have my license, but I pick the good ones clapping.

You don’t think Isaac hot when they’re driving.

I mean, I’ve never really thought about it.

But Daddy gang DME, I’ll check out my Uber driver when we’re leaving here.


Okay, so I just want to say something about where to go.


I always think dinners great.


You mentioned like a comedy club.

Oh, I had a guy take me to a comedy club and we got like appetizers and drinks before and then I like serve drinks at comedy clubs and you can still talk during them.


It’s not like a fucking movie.

Okay, that’s what I was going to say.

If you are taking someone to a movie, die die, die, roll over.

And just I I mean if you’re in middle school because that’s what I used to do is in middle school.


I would do that if you’re Teen, go for it.

If you’re older than the age of 13 and you’re trying to do that, then you’re legit.

Okay, so just I’m hope I hope we’re all on the same page that again.

You’re not inviting girls to the fucking movies.

Okay, that’s what you do.


When you’re like an older couple and you’re like, okay.

What do you wanna do?


Another thing for First Dates?

I wanted to bring up.

Okay, don’t go in there with like a list of questions.

Jesus Christ, like, you know when you go there and it’s like you can dance, it’s like they are first date veterans, like do a first day, every single All day and they’re like, hi.


So um, are you new to this whole thing?

Like, like, how many, you know, I didn’t know you just cringed up.

I wish you guys could see Sophia, right now.

There’s a question that people ask and I’ve had to answer it.

Thousands of times.

I’m gonna freak out.


What are your hobbies?

Oh my god, when someone asks me what my hobbies are.

I want to tell them to suck my dick out of here.

Sucking dick is my home.

Fuck out of my face.

I like Twirl on that dick and go up and down.

What do you do for a living?


Shut the fuck up.

As can’t do dad, that is one of the, okay.

What do you want to sign it?

And I eat, I really, really hate that.

Yeah, guys.

I think you have to just try to be organic with it and don’t have a question after question, after question this.


Let’s talk about you.


I want to give guys this.


Let’s talk about, you get to dinner.



This is a big fucking thing for me.

I think it’s appropriate.

Yet for a guy, to take about 80% charge on a date.

Okay, I think it’s really hot.


And manly.

I do not like when a guy says I’ll order for, you know, however, I think it is so hot.

Yeah, if you first of all, guys, you should bring her some where you’ve been before.

So, you know, the atmosphere and, you know, and then expand, then you can say, like, you know, I know like, what’s good here.


Yes, so you guys can basically be like, hey, I have we should definitely get these.

These, these appetizers and then let me know order.

Ever you want.

Yeah, I think it’s so hot when a guy says order, whatever you want, but then also takes charge and cherchez.

I think it makes it so much more fun.


There’s something like kind of awkward when the guys, like I’ll have the steak in the girls.

Like, I’ll get this salad.

It’s like, it’s just more fun when he’s like, share.

And I know it’s stupid, but like it’s good.

When you like, oh, like that was so good.

Like, tasty.

I think cetera.

It just makes it more inclusive as a post like, sitting across the table likes.


Fucking stick figures.

I mean, okay.

For conversation people like always.

Freaked out about like what to talk about?


I don’t think what’s your go to talk about but style?

First time I actually asked really an approach I do too but I think it’s like it’s like it’s which I have just blacked out.


I suffer from Rage blackouts re1 right?

I think keep it light-hearted.

Let’s talk about that because there is this thing and I think sometimes people get nervous and like they Like super serious shit, dude, like don’t hit him with like the, you know, I was like abandoned by my father and I was 7, and my mom, Danielle and my dad’s in jail and, you know, right, right, right.


Keep that for like, maybe on the third day.

I got first date.

Yeah, I think also talking about past relationships is never a go to, yes, because, don’t you feel only if a guy and his girlfriend?

If a guy mentions his girlfriend, next warrants ex-girlfriend more than one time, I like, he’s still in love with 100%.


Thousand per.

So guys.

I think it works both ways.

Like if I agree marking about her and you know what, I think a lot of times even if you aren’t in love with that person, still what happens is when you get nervous on a first date, your natural go to is like even if you’re going to shit on your ex or something, but it comes off, like, you’re still in love.


I also want to bring up the people that talk about themselves and how the monologue on the first fucking date.

I the oyster guy out, you know.


Well, I already know the guy that I got oysters way.


Hmm, I swear to fucking God, he ended up talking to me about his buck and recital in fourth grade before he even out of you had a family and he’s like all the way back in middle school.

He’s gone through college.

Yeah, it’s cool.

He’s back and forth.


So my last name’s Franklin, if you wanted to know you fucking asshole.

You wanted to know like go suck your own dick.


No, no neither.

Yeah, guys, I think Make sure even again guys if you’re just there to fuck act, like you give a shit about your life.


We always say.

Yeah, and I actually I said keep it light-hearted.

I think you kind of should but I mean like especially when you’re older like you do kind of get into more serious conversation.

Just don’t hit him with like the big.



III a heavy.

Don’t have word vomit.


And then last but not least, when you are finishing the date.

The guy you need to pick up the bill.


You should not even know.

It should not even be a question.

The girl shouldn’t feel awkward.

It’s just the way it.

If it guy went Dutch with me.


I’ve like, oh my God.


I’ve never had it happen.

I think it’s just like an urban legend.

I think it’s a myth, but I heard it does.

Oh my God.


Oh, I have heard of some of my friends and they’re like, yeah, let’s you want to split it and you’re like what in the fuck I would actually you will never eat my pussy.

Like no, you know what?


I’m going to pick up the bill.

Yep, and you can go masturbate into your sock and I was like the little bitch boy that she was It’s so true you guys pick up the movie sound like angry, right?

I’m sorry, man.

No, this is because we fucking love you and we want you to do the best first day.


I got the bill.

Yes, open the door for her.

Sugary is not fucking dead.

I think it’s so hot when you like puts his arm on the back of your back.

When he opens the door.

He leads you in.

He has appetizers ready to go.

Yeah, just take charge.

Yeah, but don’t be an asshole and obviously offer her whatever she want.

Okay, boom.


So I have a thing.

I want to bring up a girl deemed me this past week and she goes, I just want to clarify that your whole shtick about guys, love the crazy.

You two are so off.


That is not the case.

And you know what to say?

Ha, ha.

Shut the fuck up to crazy, people.

Keep trying to tell us like, no, they don’t.

They do my dick nice.

I’m sorry, you know exactly who I’m about to bring up, you know exactly who my God.


I wish you guys.

Could we just made eye contact?

No, no.



No, I wasn’t even going to get into this.

But here we go.

Okay, I don’t care that it’s going off and now people mental illness.


Not a joke.

No, we don’t fuck around, it’s not.

But this is also called me podcast and happens to deal with the story.


And this girl hot.

Means to be fucking nuts.

Yeah, okay, phrenic.

So no, but you say schizophrenic people are like, haha.


No, they’re this.

We at we’ve talked about these people in previous episodes.


We talked about this guy.

He’s like a millionaire and he was fucking her attractive.

He is hooking up with this girl.

I’m gonna call her Stacey.

Okay, Stacey like, when on Facebook and was like his company’s taking over my brain and like, did all of this crazy casual Chic.

She’s an actual creative person.


They actually went on a tropical vacation.

It was the millionaire, Stacey.

And then the millionaire went with a bunch of his friends, which was the guy that I look okay to you my on the trip.

Okay, usually people that suffer from schizophrenia.

They think the government’s after that, right?


Think there’s there was like there, people are being top runs like a microchip, underneath their tooth listening to all of their shit.

Yeah FBI’s off normal shit.



This girl.

They were on their way to the beach and they were in a car and she said, I need to fuck his friends.


I need to fuck his friends.

I need to fuck his friends.

She kept saying it over and over and over again, and he was like, what the hell are you talking about?

And she was like the voices in my head are telling me I need to fuck your friends like please fuck me, like looking at his friend saying that well, I just like I’m sitting here in shock and people don’t believe me.


I’m not making the do I know you’re not, you know, you’re fucking will thing so she in the voices in her head were telling her to fuck all of ya.

Yeah, people are like, what’s going on?

What the fuck is going on my friend?

What do I need to fix?

What’s going on?

Drugs, were put in what the fuck?



Takes her outside and my friend was there and he said that he proceeded to finger the crazy out of her.


She was having an episode, and he put his fingers in her underwear and start, fingering her to calm her down.

Oh, would you do if you’re freaking out and he got his wedding right up in the Venus?


Like, I’m gonna finger the fucking crazy out of this bitch.

Okay, hold on that dot.

Well, I don’t know that happened the other weekend, and you know what?

I know what the whole point of this story is that That it’s the best sex.

He said he’s ever fucking hot.


Shut the fuck up, guys.

And you know, what?

Usually someone would be turned off by the fact that little voices in their girlfriends had are telling her to fuck his friend and makeup with the facts.

So good on this bitch that he can’t.

He can’t let go of her crazy, is as crazy fucks guys.


Love the crazy and that’s it.

And this is crazy.

Story is a testimonial to that.


I am so happy that you brought this because Like people still to this day.

Do not believe us.

When we say crazy girls are fucking crazy in bed.

They like it Men.


We is it.

And he’s the guy that also.

He was dating a really hot girl from Vegas guy.

I have seen I’ve hung out with him and I have seen the girls that he like brings home and they are ten out of ten.

The hottest fucking chicks and that’s get different girls his best.


And yeah, the best fuck.


Can you imagine someone in a van with all these?

They’re telling me to fuck his friends are telling me to fuck the president.

It’s like bitch, but he it’s a great sex.

Best sex ever.

You know what?

This actually brought up a really random point.


I mean like here I am getting a date with a guy and he was very vocal about his sexual past.

He’s like I have fucked a lot of women.

I’m like, oh, okay.

Okay, this is cool.

And he ended up telling me that I said, who of all the girls, you fucked fucked, every nationalities that every skin color doesn’t discriminate novel.


Terminate pussy is pussy.

And so, he told me, he said, I will tell you right now.

The best girls in bed are Jewish girls.

I know, right?

What I know.

I said the same thing.

I was like, wait, what?


No, I don’t have anything against Jewish gonna know.

I was just kidding.

I don’t get it.

So he told me that Jewish girls.

Okay, know how to make themselves come and they know what they want in the bedroom.

So he said when and also, he said they Usually come off very unassuming in there like kind of innocent.


And he said, when I get a Jewish girl in the bedroom, she is like, put it here.

Put this there, fuck me like this and she gets herself off in it and she knows, oh of calm, like, he was like, she’s never gonna leave their.


Faking an orgasm.

She every Jewish girl.



I am dying right now, like what am I?

First of all?

That’s insane.

Like I never knew that.

I didn’t know that either.

I like want you do.

Dana literally goes through likes to be honest.

He clearly has another podcast.

He was like, um, like for someone, like you like, when I see a blond American, girl, that’s like decently good looking.


I would think that you’re going to be all talking.

You’re going to suck in bed.

And I was like this thing called the backlight 9,000.

That’s that is so interesting, but that just goes to show that like men if you go in there with girls.


Listen, if you go in there and you’re selfish and you’re like, I need to get in here and get off.

Yes, men.

That is the Biggest turn-on though.

That is what it is.

I think there’s this thing where girls think in their mind like like I got on that job, guys can see through the fuck can see through it most of the time.


And so that’s why it’s like if you go in there fuckin touching yourself when he’s fucking you and you’re rubbing your own clit and you’re getting yourself off and just tell him where to put it.



We’re just gonna like start going down.

This little round.

The Jewish girls blonde girls suck.

Apparently, I was talking to my friend and he has a serious Asian fetish.



Love that.

I love it to your bodyguard this last weekend with age.

I have one so fucking thousand percent.

Okay, he didn’t say that.

They come like Sailor Moon, like an anime.

Give us annoying.

Kind of was it was a little like What about like English?


People would like accents?

Like, huh?

Like people from the South are like scented come and open.

Okay, let’s fucking let’s move on.


We’re yeah, sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

Um, okay.

Okay, so last week we talked about crazy.

Drunk sacks and we kind of segwayed for a second because you mentioned yourself falling off.

The bat.

I’m more excited to talk about this GTO, awkward silence awkward fucking sexual shit.



So a ton of people wrote in and said, of course we fallen off the bed.

Yeah, of course, of course, it’s like people that have been there probably like what the fuck are those people doing acrobatics like well, like happy.


So this is what I want to talk about in this segment.



What has to happen.

That makes it so awkward that you cannot continue because nine times out of ten for men, they are going to Soldier on and keep going.

It’s rifle like girl, stop more than guys, for sure.


But I actually just thought really quickly.

I got a gang member wrote.

It in said.

Yeah, this guy was fucking her like holding her like carrying her.


He got a cramp in his leg and he dropped her on her head turned off drugs.

I literally landed on my Stop it.


If you’re a man, no, just pick her back.

I feel like fucking guys are like, it takes a lot.

She’s like, low-key unconscious, and she’s like, I’m kind of here.

I’m kinda.

No, I need you.

So, let’s get into it.

I want to first ask you.



You get your period.


Do you stop having sex?

It depends?

How bad, mmm, if it’s like it.

A crime scene.

Is it, like I kind of soaking.

Okay, first of all, obviously, Obviously, if it’s just a little bit of blood anyone out there the fucking pussy, if you stop, if it’s a murder scene.


Yeah, it’s definitely.

That’s a little scary, but I kind of think like fucking extra lube.

A be like if you’re like, that’s always the go-to, but I do feel like take it to the shower and just keep talking.

I mean, you know, if I’m really comfortable with a guy, I don’t care if it was like, my first time hanging out with a guy.


And I started really bleeding.

I’d probably kind of, like, freaked out.

I agree.

I kind of know.

I, yeah, I think I would kind of keep keep on soul.

Nan, keep on keeping on, keep on, keeping on.

Okay, I have one.


This is a good one.

You’re fucking your guy and you are on vacation.


Your mom opens the door walks in and then hurries and slams it and leave, so you’re allowed to be fucking right?

You know what I mean?

It’s not like you’re in your mom’s house, right?

And she’s like, what the fuck are ya?

Like she’s like, oh sorry, like basically right here, your mid.

Fuck your mom opens the door and says, sorry slams, the door and runs away.


Do you stop backing or do you keep going?

Saying, you know, honestly, I will probably just like pick up my phone and text my mom and be like those jeans baby.

See how flexible my legs.

You know, Mom, you’ll be like impressive.


Did you see the size of that thing?



You see that?

No, no, no.

Okay, in real talk.

I think with my mom, I would probably stop because I’d like Bach like she just saw some shit.

I’d run out and apologize.


If it was his parents though.

If he was down to keep fucking after they ran out, I think I’m all right.


Well, okay, this also like I also plays into like, we’re you guys just getting started or like, are you literally about to go?

Because if you’re literally about to come, like, just kind of keep going, like, you just gotta hurry and just like, finish it out and it just started.

I mean, not like, don’t just like, if your mom walks in and she’s sitting there staring at you, like you.


Like, I’m really I’m not don’t do that.

But okay.

No, I agree with you.

I think also I think it depends who it is.

So okay, you said, Mom It was just a rando.


Oh my God.


I’ve been listening.

Oh my God.

A random could literally go into the room and take a seat.


Looks like see.


Yeah, that’s the performance.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming for.

Ya know.

I agree.

I’m bringing this up because it actually fucking happens.


If mid-fuck, one of you farts and it’s like is it is it an out loud or is it?


So it’s yeah, it smells it’s fucking smells dude, dude, that’s so So fucking awkward.

I’m sorry, but like, and I, I think it sucks.

Okay, it being out loud is better than it smelling you.

We’ve talked about it on.


Call me.


If anything comes out of your body.

That sounds fucking weird.

You blame it on a queef and you’re like, oh my God, that’s how I know.

You’re fucking me, right, Nora.

Yeah, ignore, but dude, when that shit reeks and like, shit.

Are you have to just fuck?

Yeah, in it.

You’re fucking in your fart.

Like what are you do?


What the fuck do you do?

Hi, I think you keep going.

You like let’s move to the other side of that.

Come on.

Hurry up.

Come on, come on.

Let’s go to the other side.

Come on, even more like a sea, and it looks like, you’re like, you’ve been there before?


I like not again.

Not again.

You’re like this happens.

It’s just very hard over here, buddy.



This is, this is an actual phenomenon.

That’s in the room.

I’d like everyone got such a basic concept, like their dog, or their cat, which is clearly creepiest is like staring at you while you’re having sex.


I don’t love it, but it’s not going to stop me from.


I have a personal story about this one.

Oh, and this happened like in the last Sophia, let a dog go down on her.

No, peanut butter.

You guys know the drill?

No, I was hooking up with this guy.


He was going down on me.

Okay, and I was, like, laying on my back and like my legs were spread.

Oh, okay.

No shit.

All right, extra crossed legs were crossed and he shoved his head on there.


His dog was on the bed already, went out of looking at all.


But I was just like, okay, the dog, put his little paw on my inner thigh.

Nope, and that’s not a joke.

I’m not.

Do you know what I call them?

I called that a fucking threesome with two humans in an animal, you sick.



Why did you shut it off the bed?

I obviously like dry down.

No, you try to like move them off know.

I obviously scooted him off but like, but it’s also awkward because he’s eating you out.


You don’t want to distract him, right?

Oh, that’s awkward brief moment.

The perversion, like, a module, like this discuss we.

And I thought I was going to say, I remember one time a guy is dog, was at the like, edge of the bed, how they sit there.

And it was kind of like, touching my foot.


See what else?



Oh, no.

Threesome know that if he has appeared touching your body hurts a threesome.

I agree.

I think if there’s a dog or an animal or a cat, whatever it is on the bed, I think you gotta get rid of it.


But obviously, we don’t forget.


Who are we?

Okay, but that didn’t stop me.

Hey, we’re disgusting, dude.

Him away.



So so far nothing has stopped us.


Farts pets.

What about hair extensions?

This is such a good one.

Like he’s he is fucking you from behind.


And he goes to grab your hair as you should.


And give it a little tug.


And your entire track is ripped out of your goddamn head and he literally looks like he’s holding like a wig.

Yeah, I think you turn around and you look at him and you snatch it away and you Chuck it across the room and then you just keep fighting with.


What do you do?

I do not know what I would do in that situation.

I think you’re going to keep fucking like I know you all know.

I’m not hers.


I know, I can’t fucking try to act like there are something that would determine.


No, I actually think this is a great, that’s a great topic to bring up.


What would deter you?

We’ve kind of talked about physical stuff.

Like what would stop us and clearly nothing has yet.

So let us talk about vocal shit.

I think there’s a lot of times in the bedroom that when you’re fucking there is room for some awkward.


Fuck your things to be said, dirty talk can Fuck you, especially if you’re like me and I literally never stop talking.

Oh, yeah, you’re like, I want you to fuck me.

Like, your little Schoolboy and you’re like, I’m, he’s girl, girl, girl, like the SEC.

He’s a little boy, like, he’s gonna look at you weird.


Not you said that Ike accidentally before any guys.

Like, excuse.

I could see guys being kind of freaked out by that one or even if you just fuck up a word, like if you say ho and slut and you’re like, fuck me like you’re a little slow and he’s like, oh like what?

You’re what you keep fuck, you keep on chugging.


Let me tell you vocally, how I fucked up once because it like pains my heart for me and him.

So I was fucking around with this guy.

And you know, when you’re in that stage like you’re talking you really like each other, but you have not said I love you yet.

So it’s always on the mind.

You’re like, I don’t want him to say it.


So we’re fucking and I went to say, I love you inside of me.

Oh, and I, we were in missionary.

So we were making eye contact and I look up at him and I say and I was fucked up and I go, I Love you.

Oh my gosh, the head with a wine bottle.


Like why?

I’m like cringe it right now so fucking awkward and he ended up just fucking Me Harder and like, kiss me because he thought that I like actually fucking meant it.

I think I may have done something similar just fucking sucks.

I it’s fucking sucks.

Didn’t you tell me about a guy said he was gonna kill you, you know, Sophia, I didn’t want to bring it up, but I guess we can bring it up.


Yeah, um, Guys, I was hooking up with this guy.

He came to New York to visit me and we like smoked weed.

And so I was like a little paranoid, because he was making jokes like, oh my God, like none of your friends know you’re here.

Like I could be a serial killer and kill you.


And no one would ever know when I was like, haha, funny.

And then we started fucking and it was like, pretty kinky sex and then he took it to a level where, like and think of it when you’re high.

So everything is heightened anxiety wise.

He started like choking me, which I So, hot, and then all of a sudden, he literally was just like, I could fucking kill you right now, and his hands were around my neck.


And I was like, you know, I love sexual intercourse right now.


I actually are we.

I’ve actually had a guy tell me that too.

I’ve had a real quick like all.

Yes, the classic when they strangle you and say, they’re gonna kill you, mid-fuck.


I’ve all the good old days actually my ex-boyfriend because like, we would like sometimes I kind of like play around without something like it was, when he’d be Choking me, like, I could kill you.

Like, oh, actually quickly.

Let me just segue.

I just remembered I had, but I had a post-appointment flashback, but not a good one in college.


I, I actually drunkenly peed all over a guy.

So, just fuck me now.

No, dude.

It’s coming in, just like a little p.

Like I sat there and actually marinated him and his thighs of Dick with my pee.



We were fucking, I was on top of him.

I was sitting on top of him on the couch.

And I remember being so fucked up.

And I was saying to myself, damn, like, I really feel like I’m going to pee, but you know, how you have that feeling, sometimes when you’re going to come.

So, I ended up in my blackout having a full stream P.


Just coming out.

I was on top of him.

And I remember, I think I tried to play it off, like, I squirted.

And then I fucking knew the next morning because he was, like, discuss.

Now is like, who was that?

That was a little kid.


Fuck you.

I learned something new about you every day.

Yeah, fuck me.

I just really am ruining my life on this podcast, but I dude, I mean that’s so that’s so disgusting.

It’s not really, I’m pretty sure guys are into it.

Do whatever he fucking love Donald.

So whatever Donald Trump missionary missionary.


So you know what?

I think this is a world phenomenon that a lot of women.

Sadly don’t know.

It’s equivalent.

You actually it’s probably worse.

But when we talk about girls getting it from behind and when they have the Hunchback of Notre Dame and they don’t like stick out their app.


Disgusting horrible, all wrong.

We’re talking missionary really quickly with my love me so much.

I actually do too.

I think in the past episode I said no, but I really do just with the right?

Kind of guy, that knows how to fuck a scenario.

So the point of this topic is to talk about all of our dead fish is out there.


Give them a round of applause, girls girls.

It’s sometimes girls.

It’s an epidemic.

Emma a, they take the whole missionary position and they think they can be lazy.

They think it’s time for a nap like at they can catch a quick nap before round two and a different position.

So this is a little PSA, any female that is listening to call her daddy if you are laying in missionary.


Yeah, and you are not talking.

Yeah thrusting thrusting.

A being and doing things with your hands.

Yeah, you are doing.

Sax wrong.

Okay, just just a side note because it might sound like we’re picking on girls.

Guys, do this to own.


Oh, yeah.

I know guys that don’t that don’t just want to be a missionary donkey on top and for sure the ride the yeah, fuck out little bitch boy.

Genders can be lazy.

But so burn talk about girls missionary girls.

I will never forget.

So I think it was my freshman year of high school.

And this kid was dating the hottest girl, and we were at a party and he got drunk and he ended up saying guys, she’s hot as shit.



But she fucks like a dead fish and I had never heard the term dead fish before.

So I was like, we, what the fuck?

Well, I literally feel like I’m fucking a dead.

Well, guess what?

The hotter, the girl, the worst.

She is right.


Okay, so a five or so, folks, died for that dick five or six times a good five or six out of ten on a scale of hardness.


You’re gonna fuck like a crazy walk.

But if you’re nine or ten, you got, you gotta plan times are dead Faith.

That’s true.

And that’s why if any nines or tens are listening.

Listen up.

Yeah, so girls, first, For most Sofia.

Let’s just talk about Basics.

Yeah, you should be talking when you’re in missionary.


Can you talk to us a little bit about that?

There’s one thing that I do is I don’t shut the fuck up.

I think I think in fact I had guys put a hand over my mouth, please shove a sock on my mouth and they’re like, keep a bit quiet I could.

So see that.


I love that.

I talked the entire guys, talking and missionary is so fucking important because it’s your opportunity, like he’s in He’s going to Pound Town.

You are.

You have that eye?

Contact moment.

You should be saying, fuck baby.

That feels so good.


Keep fucking me just like that.

You like that.

Secondly, while you’re doing that dirty talk, you are not fucking laying there with your hands down, just like fucking laying like you’re taking it.

That’s the thing.

You should not be acting like you’re just taking it.

So what are you gonna do with your hands?

You can mix it up.



Okay, I think let’s start with the grabbing.

Well, the grabbing.

Okay, grab his inner thigh.

Grab his inner thigh, grab his arm, grab his bicep, Rob, his fucking back, and the back of his thigh.

That is, if you take the back of his legs or thighs, or his ass girls and you start pushing it towards yourself thrusting.



It kind of indicates to him.

I want you more.

I want you deeper that to a guy is fucking hot because it’s like God damn.

She wants more of me amazing on a basic level.

I think before you even start grabbing him, you can Clench the bed sheet or /?



Arm up and clench the hell.




Visual is.

So it because it shows that you’re so into it and it feels good.

Also, hi girls.

There’s a thing called titties.

We have boobs.

You should be grabbing your tips, even grabbed his hand and put them on your tips.


Okay, here is something that a lot of girls are just not doing in missionary.

So bear with us.

If you do this, I already know what you’re gonna.

You already know.

You have a clique Girlz.

Go to town on your fucking touch.

Lit yourself.

This position could not be better to touch your Godlike.



Yes, you are gonna go down girls and you’re going to start.

Massaging your clit.

Do your thing, go to work.

And while you’re doing that, you’re going to be looking up at him and you’re going to be like fuck baby.

That feels so good.

I want all of you.

Keep fucking me like that.


Oh my God.

I’m so wet.

Do you want me to come?

You’re saying all the right things and you’re making eye contact with him.

This is something that I also do in missionary that I want to be careful because there is a certain like level you should be doing it and the amount you do it.


So when a guy starts going at a pretty specific rate, like when he’s like pounding the pussy and he’s going at a certain rate.

What I try to do is I pay attention to that speed and I lift my hips up off my bed rest and I start.



Yeah, it the next.

And I swear to God girls your hips are going to be so fucking sore but you get a little bit off and you stay off the bed the whole time and you just go up and then back to that like off the bed position, right?

And you try to get in exact Unison with him.


So what ends up happening is, you are like slamming him at the same time that he’s contacting you.

Yeah, and usually what happens is, it will make a sound like his balls will be like hitting the back of your like past area.

And guys, I swear to God.

I already know two guys in my mind that Actually come.


Every time I do this, if you can put in work with your hips for like almost 32 seconds to a minute and you keep just going to fucking pound town with him.

He would be like, holy fuck.

Sounds sounds are huge.


Like your roots wet.

Yeah, hearing how sloppy and hearing just like this slapping motion.

So fucking hot.

And I think girls also what?

I just told you don’t do that too much in too long because he may want to change.

His pace and then you also if you get out of rhythm, you’re kind of fucked.


It’s like a little awkward to just make sure you do it for a little bit and then stop but the whole grabby.

Also, the clipping fucking lick your fingers after you come back from touching yourself.

Totally tell him to fucking choke you over and over that.

Or after you’re done, like, touching your clip, put your fingers in his mouth.



So girls that just like a little, a little missionary.


A little bit of a reminder for all of our homies out there that are the daddy game.

Fucking move in when you’re down there.

All right, we’ve talked about scorned women in the past.

Well, there is such a thing as a scorned man, do their fucking heads.


I have witnessed it firsthand and I’ve been a part of it and that would be my ex-boyfriend shout out.

What he did to me.

I would never say that.

I deserved it, but I did not.

I mean it was crazy.

It was a little crazy.


So I’m just gonna get into it.

I think everybody loves Sophia crazy stories.

Let’s guy.

Do I do?

Alex just makes me sell my soul to make yourself for the Pod Gotti.


Okay, so I was dating this guy.


This is the guy that ripped my phone out of my hands if you listen and previous episode that was episode 25, I believe.

Yeah, let me start from the beginning.

I was talking to another guy.

I was cheating ha I was talking to another guy and this guy lived in New York.


I was living.

In Utah, I made plans to meet up with this guy in New York.

Okay, let’s call him.

John, John welcome.

Okay, so, John was blowing up my phone and my boyfriend at the time started to notice.


So I changed John’s name in my phone to Mom, because I didn’t want it to be a parent and they kept calling me and texting me, and I just knew that.

My boyfriend of the time, we think it’s weird of Alton.

I have a random from Joanna, calling random girl calling me and texting me.


We were varying each other’s lives in each other’s?

Felt like he would know.

He would have no got it.

So you had to hit it with the mom.

That’s our.

I call my mom thinking.

I’m calling my actual mother.

Okay, a man answers the phone bastard and I’m like, hi is my mom there?


And they’re like, what are you talking about?

I’m like, I would like to talk to my mom.

Like, please put her on the phone.


I don’t know why you have her phone and they’re like, what is what, like, what is wrong with you?

And I’m like, seriously hand the phone to my Mom.

They’re like, what?

I hang up the phone.



I realized that that was John.

Who has ought to go see more.

So, out of fucking nowhere.

You have a girl coming to visit you, and she calls you.

And she’s like, where would I mock?

Is my mom.

So immediately this guy thinks you’re already crazy.

Yeah, this is great.

Thanks, great.

Start to the relationship cheating and calling him schizo.


Okay, so my boyfriend thinks Out there something up, right?

He’s like, I know you’re going to go to New York.

I guess do your thing.

Okay, mind you he re scene techs between me and this guy and he had like some idea that maybe something could go down, but he was still going to.


Let me go to New York.

Anyways, I have family here.

Okay, so I just thought I was going to stay a family.

I touched down in New York and I get to the airport.

Turn my phone on right off the bat.

My boyfriend is like, who is picking you up from the airport?



Ah, so, you know, I knew I wasn’t going to get away with no knees.

It’s like touchdown and you’re already getting tracked.

Yeah, it’s scary, scary feeling.

So I’m at the airport.

I’m trying to hurry and get ready in the bathroom and look hot for John who I haven’t seen in like over a year.


Come pick.

And then I have my boyfriend, calling me being like, all right, like hello.

Can you call me?

I’d like to talk to you like Baba, freaking out because he has an idea so I fuck.

Almost immediately.

Oh God.

I say I’m getting an Uber and then 30 minutes later.


I’m like, oh, hey like just waiting for my Uber.

Oh God, just because I was so distressed.

You’re like, I know John’s picking me up.

I gotta look ha.

What am I doing?

Okay, so you’re already fucking, I’m already caught.

Cheating is hard.

Sometimes being is so hot fucking easy.

So I got in the car and my boyfriend’s.


Like, oh, if you’re in the back of an Uber, go ahead and FaceTime me, you’re like, well, my name is Johnson.

Out to tell Jon Jon.

Sorry, let me in the back seat and FaceTime this guy, a No-No.

So I’m a it’s already, just go, it’s spiraling.


It’s going downhill to just ignore you were single.

I was texting and I was just like just relax.

I just like and like trying to talk to my aunt on the phone and like, I’m busy doing shit.

I’m trying to figure out her address.

Whatever got it.

I get to John’s Apartment.


Okay, and at this moment in time, my boyfriend is blowing.

My phone and he’s like, that’s fine.

You don’t want to call me from the Uber but you will be FaceTiming me from your aunt’s apartment and I try and do the whole like, wow.

Do you want my aunt to think you’re crazy?


Oh, yeah.

I did.

You bring your leg.

Oh my God, you’re being so crazy.

My aunt gonna think you’re crazy.


He’s like, I don’t fucking care of it.

He’s like, don’t care.

FaceTime me now.

Alex, I hit him with a block.


No, I hit my old boyfriend with a Blog while you were with your side piece.

So he was just hitting you up so much.

You just had no other option.

There was no other option.

I’m with this John guy and this John guy is, like, why the hell is this girl here in New York and she’s just on her phone and you guys are thinking like why the fuck did you even?


Like stay with your boyfriend right now of your traveling across the country to see another guy?

He had an extremely tumultuous relationship.

There was a lot of money to explain it down.


I should board it.

We did you not try to just like pop out for a minute and like FaceTime him.


I went into the hallway and I tried and I think it just looked so sketchy like why are you sitting on the stairs in the hallway?

Like that was even were there.

That didn’t work until you blocked it.

So he he just was relentless.

He wasn’t stopping.

I hit him with a block, and I was like, I’m fucked.


I’m here.

In fact, there is he knows what’s happening?

Yeah, there’s no way I can get out of this lie.

I’m screwed.

So, you just, I spend the rest of that weekend, kind of taking him off blocks.

Okay, sending him stuff like you’re being crazy, like your fucking cheerleader.


Leah, slut.

You like what?

So, I think it was the third night.

I was there and I go to acne with John.

Okay, that’s a restaurant for anyone that does.


And John says, John pulls up his Facebook and shows me a picture of my boyfriend and he was like, taking a turn is like, is this like is this your ex or something?


And I’m like, really don’t like crumbly.

How the fuck did you polygons?

Yeah, my ex my current boyfriend.

I like how the hell’d, and I actually think that I had made comments throughout that weekend, kind of saying my boyfriend ex-boyfriend like I Guy did screw up a couple perfect, beautiful, whatever.


So I’m like, yeah, actually I did date that person.

What’s up, he shows me a Facebook message.


Nope, from my ex.

Nope, and it says just so, you know, Sophia Franklin is a huge whore and she gave me herpes.


So good luck with that.

No, I I wanted to die because this, I got already thinks you’re crazy.

Just keep fucking called him in.

Like Mom’s.

I’m crazy.

Um, we’ve been fucking without a condom.


Oh, and he’s like, and he doesn’t know me that.

Well, he’s like hi.

So, do you have herpes?

If you don’t know, someone that well, and you get a message like that, you’re like, hey, how about this situation with this song?

I wanted to die.

I wanted to die.

Would you ever do something like that?


If your And was full-blown cheating.

Would you like, try and like spread a STD rumor?

You know what?

I’m not gonna say Never Say Never, but I do think there’s something about STDs and lying because at the end of the day, you just look fucking stupid.


If you’re lying about it because obviously those people are going to get tested when they don’t have herpes 1, you’re spreading light and to the bitch, then that means you have herpes you.

Yeah, that’s like embarrassing, right?

I don’t think I would ever do the STD route, but that’s fucking Was it was so what did you end up doing?


Were you just like what the well, you know what?

Interestingly enough and I like, had so much respect for John.

What did you do?

Because I was like, I am so sorry.

Can you like screenshot that and send it to me?

Because, you know, I obviously wanted right, right?

And he was like, no, he was like, I’m an adult.


And I’m not gonna like be in the middle of like this image coming in like, wow, and he was just like, I’m going to delete it.

Oh my God, he didn’t care and we did.

Later that night without a condom.

Oh my God, which he did?

So he just believe that you didn’t have herpes.

Yeah, that’s actually a really stand-up guy.


What a great guy John was because your ex-boyfriend, you know, your boyfriend.

It doesn’t even matter.

The scoring.

Wow, thing is a scorned man.

I bet that’s pretty shocking shitty for me.

If someone is going to fuck me over, someone’s gonna cheat on me.


I just hit it with a block and, yeah, you know, length.

But he went is kind of like, I don’t, I don’t really Vengeful, right, right.

Right, right.

So I think that’s kind of creepy dude, but wow, next relationship out.

It’s gonna be hot testing.


No cheating on faithful barely stand up.

Here we go.


Oh my God, you training, Mom.

Listen to that one part of the podcast.

Hey, Mom.

Listen to this part.

I should holy fuck.

Well, that’s just another so obvious, or it could also have a drug-dealing story.


That’s cold.

It’s fucking coming and we’re releasing the fucking a mugshot t-shirts to like, can you guys give us and let us know if you want them on a t-shirt, a long sleeve or a hoodie?

Let us know.

I think needs to be on everyone’s job.

Ugliest, mugshot.

The best fucking, oh my God, we’re leasing it.


So, so if you get, thank you for always.

Being so honest, thank you.

Holy fuck, okay.

All right questions.

Zoe question of the week.




I have one go.

I’ve been trying to spice up my nude game, but I’m not sure how any suggestions for new poses or ideas.

I have an idea.

Oh, come very interesting idea.

Okay, someone wrote in a man and he said that implied news.


Odds are hotter than actual nudes.

Meaning the girl is just wearing lingerie or just kind of like just a bit like a covered up, nude.

I am like thank God.

One of my oh, no, I’m actually in visiting one of my nudes right now.


That’s like a, not a full nude.

I wish I could release it.

You can I’m thinking absolutely can’t.

Okay fine help our career here.

So the fuck.

So I was like, I don’t know how to explain it, but I was laying on the bed.

I don’t even know how to explain it.

I don’t I just, I just know that I had a little tank top on like very, very baby.


So it’s like, basically just covering - oh, yeah, a little tank, top thing and it like stops at my belly button, and then I had a thong on.

Oh, I could see.

And so, my tits were basically out, my nips, were hard.

So it looked hot as shit.


I’m like, my thong was, I could see how that would be, and I had like my hand in my thong and it was hot.


So I think I agree with you.

I think sometimes if you have something on it’s almost harder.

I just thought that was so interesting because my First reaction to that.

I was like you are a bitch boy and a virgin and like why?

I actually just thought of this one thing my hairdresser accidentally sent or not sent me showed me a nude on his phone.


He was showing me pictures of hairstyles and I was like a woman.

She was an older woman and the post she was doing.

She was in front of a mirror, told me about this crazy.

She’s in front of a mirror.

She had heels on and nothing else on and she squatted down.



So like she was in a squat position with her, but her legs like her.

Spread open and she had the phone up so straight.

I mean, like that’s fucked.

Like, straight vagina vagina, everything out in and taking the mirror.

So it was a full-length mirror and she was just squatting and legs open.


That’s yeah, really sad.

Stop it.

So, we talked about nudes in another episode.

Should you should I just thought that?

I mean, that’s what I just add.

Maybe add a little.

Yeah, okay, okay.

I was walking to class and this guy I had hooked up with saw me and started walking towards me.


I hadn’t made eye contact yet, but I had been ignoring him for two weeks.

He came up to me, and I took my headphones out and looked at him, like I didn’t know who he was, and he was like, how are you?

And said, my name?

I looked at him and I said, oh, I’m actually her sister.


But, no worries.

We can.

We look a lot alike.

It happens all the time.

He looked at me with his mouth open and I said, I’ll tell my sister.

You said hi.

No and walked away.

We have not spoken since.

Oh, this could be - we because what can you say you’re like, well, no, I thought and you’re like, no, that’s my sister.


But like we did we always look like Dude that fucking genius if you really don’t want to talk to someone and you just lie.

I’ve loved me too.

Because what are they gonna say?

No, you’re lying.

No, I’m not and then you just go back and forth.

Do you an identity thing?

Take some balls that dot I kind of roll.



I’m injured basically just fake that your you.

Whatever exists.


Okay, go.


How do you say wetter for longer?

When you don’t have Lube, like sometimes you’re turned on and everything but it’s going on for so long that you can’t stay wet, especially when you’re drunk.


Okay, a.

You should always have Lube.

Yeah, you should be and talk about that and we Zuni’s.

Yeah be spit spit.

There you go.

It’s so good.

Everything can be Lube.

It really can and for this particular situation spits spit throw up.


Dickon and Tango like anything, right?

And either you can put like his hand in your mouth or you got your own hand in your mouth and like just suck.

Just you spit like, straight up his fingers.

I don’t know why people don’t use that enough.

Yeah, spit all the time.



I’m a 26 year old.

Mayor mail.


And I’m getting married in a couple months.

I’ve always wanted to sleep with a grandma and not like a 50 year old granny.

But like I Sadi 67 plus granny.


Am I really fucking weird too.

Could I ever bring this up to my fiance and Three.

Should I go for it?



Hashtag the great me.


So we I think, what would you do if your pussy only?

She can like tired tits in a bow.

Like yeah, baby.


What would you do?

If your boyfriend said that he wanted to fuck an old grandma?

I honestly do like that is what’s gonna make you happy.

That’s what’s gonna get evolved enough to fucking help.

Faith is the fucking going to the geriatric Rao the gold or babe nursing home then go for it and report back to go for it.


And I’m sure you would look great when he comes back to you.

Well, I don’t know.

It sounds like he kind of is into you know, he’s into some shit.

Yeah, I think that’s kind of fun.

I supported go for it.

We love Kinks and you guys fucking come up with some crazy Kings.

They’re horny, but I’m a here for it.



This was a good one.

When is it okay to leave someone you are seeing over rumors that you here?

For example, you hear that they’re hooking up with other people, but you don’t have proof.

Do you walk away or believe his big-dicked ass shit.


That’s actually such a good question.

This is a really tough one because I don’t think you can break up with someone over rumors.

I this is I mean Levels one.


So let me like paint a picture.

Okay, you’re dating a guy and hit like you have had not one, not two, but multiple multiple people approach you and say he is cheating.


Yeah, I mean, if you’re having like five different people who have no ulterior motives.

Yeah, then I kind of think you gotta like, listen a little bit and do some investigation but I mean, she’s like, I guess she like can’t find anything like I’m assuming she’s tried to find stuff in can’t well, I think she needs to listen.


Into this podcast a little bit harder, right?

Literally trying all of our hacks like girlfriend.

You gotta get.


Wait, that’s true.

Yes, so don’t, don’t leave him until you have proof but you got to get into the IP.

You’re sitting there saying, oh, I like can’t figure it out.

You’re a woman and you can, you got yeah.


I think I think it’s really hard.


Especially like, in college settings, people are going to talk, and I think that I would never leave someone over rumor.

What if like, what had his friends.

His own friends were going up to you and saying, look like Mike is, yeah, then I think that I think I would I would have to I think I would believe that.


I don’t know.

What did the friends are, just trying to fuck you or they’re like trying to get him out of a relationship.


I think I kind of feel like I’m at that stage, but I’m his mom.

Oh, oh, you know, I’ve had some fucking crazy mothers of guys that I’ve dated so know that they’re cheating.


No, but like they they’ve been so crazy.

Like I can’t even get into it, but I wouldn’t trust them.

So, I really think you kind of need a little bit of beautiful.

I think you got it.

You gotta hide you to just in the off chance that he wasn’t doing anything, and you like ruin a relationship.


I agree.


This is an interesting one.

Hey, do y’all have named deal-breakers?

Like, if someone had this name, you could not date /.

Fuck them.

No matter how hot.

We, that’s actually such a good fucking question.

You know why?

It’s because you are imagining.


Saying their name during sex.

Yeah, that’s what it is.

Yes, you don’t want to be laying there and be like fucking funny.

Fuck me.

Ernie fuckery.

Hello, Ernie Gary.


I think he’s worth about like Angus, Angus.

Don’t stop.

I actually would be fine with Barney.


You’re hitting it right there.

Dick dick.

Just straight up day.

Hit it there dick, dude, Ernie Barney.

I know it.

I did not is your name.

I think you should.

Just kind of just people about a million people.

Somebody on me.

You asked me, have you ever fucked an Alex?


And was it weird?

We’re both Alex.

And I like the man says I have, but yes, you have.

Was it weird?

No, do girls, who say that, they’re on their period are really on it or they just don’t want to fuck.

That is so, such a good question.


I have absolutely I will totally admit in my days.

I have lied them on my period to get out of fucking a guy.

Everyone everyone.

Everyone has the thing.

That is so fucking funny is when you like go into it, you’re like Sorry, like I have my period and then you’re like halfway through the hangout and you start getting horny and you’re like, we I actually kind of down to fuck this guy.


There’s actually no blood at all.

And you’re like, oh my God, I was on the last day.

Oh my God, like, all of a sudden it disappeared.

Like what the fuck?

Yeah, got guys.

Just so, you know, like then paroled.

I’ve also been on my beard.

No, I’ve had like a guy in college that would make girls show him their tampon string because he wouldn’t believe that he’s like, show me your tampon string.


You fucking liar.

How fucking scary what are you doing?

That is terrifying.

Like, I don’t need To show you that you’ve psycho.




That it is kind of greedy.

I think got girls lie about it all the time just for different reasons.

So I’ll see their tampons right now.

I’m just kidding.

Don’t do that.


I am currently studying abroad and I have a boyfriend back home.

I don’t want to cheat on him.

But I also kind of do, I don’t necessarily want to break things off because it’s not that.

I don’t love him but meeting so many different people here makes me realize I have next to nothing in common with him.


Compared to the people.

I’ve met here.

Am I an asshole for feeling this way for literally wanting to cheat on my boyfriend?

But not wanting to end things with him.

No, you are not enough snow.

I feel like that happens all the time.

I’m assuming that you are in your 20s or younger and to that I say sweetie.


This is probably fucked up advice.

But like you should be you trying things out.

You should live your life.

I think that happens so much when like, people go study abroad or if you move and your boyfriend’s back in your hometown, it’s like that always happens where that person is experiencing new things.


And your You’re integrating yourself and it’s like when people go to college and then there are other significant, other goes to a deferral.

And it’s such like going abroad.

And yeah, it’s such an like an incredible experience in your forming like super intense.



And you’re enjoying yourself and you’re kind of just like, in a fuck it.


I want to do everything mood.

I honestly think like enjoy yourself and whatever stays in that country.

She’s in that country.

Like don’t say anything legit.

She like, doesn’t want to break up with him.

So I’m like, well, I think I would just, like, do whatever you want to do.

Oh my God, are we so horrible?

Except for the fact, They’re so fucking young.


I’m sorry.

I’m getting married.

It’s different.

If you’re in here fucking twenties and you’re in school.

I can do whatever you want to do.

If you love the kid back home, that’s fine.

But enjoy yourself and go home and you’re never going to probably see those people again.

So unless you’re planning on having a relationship with someone you met then just fuck it Vegas stays in Vegas ends and fucking Prague stays in Prague fucking a um, okay, this is like a kind of daddy situation.


So I figured out how to basically get past my girlfriend, that sounds normal.

So, I will go or at least stop my car at a friend’s place or a neutral spot that she wouldn’t get mad at if she saw my location.


So once I’m there, I will open SnapChat.

So my location updates and it shows her that I’m there.

And then once I’m there, I’ll go to my settings and I will change the Snapchat location to use.

That way I can use my Snapchat and other social media and go wherever I want and it won’t change the location of my bitmoji.


And I can go back to snapping other girls and hanging out with other girls.

So basically the last place that her the girlfriend will see, he was was like at his friend’s place or like his house or some not even at house, whatever.

But I think that’s like pretty brilliant because girlfriends can be crazy.

And so if they at least just see that you’re somewhere, she’s like, okay, he’s fine and then he’s fucking fucking around.


I know plenty of girls, I would fall for the, oh my God.

Girl should do that, too.

I mean, I think that’s great because I think it’s crazy how like we have all these social media platforms and it shows when you’re active and where you are.

And so we Snapchat, you got to cover your ass.

Your girlfriend doesn’t know where the fuck you are.





I want to hear all of your awkward, sex toys.

I also would really like, for you guys to just like, DM the call her daddy Instagram, and let us know, like, what would be your limit?

Because I know so.

Fat are not fucking right in the head and nothing is weird for us, but I want to hear, I mean, I mean to you daddies and also as always, if you guys can, please subscribe or grab a random person’s phone and subscribe.


I know like we sound annoying but like it helps us so much so much.

Also, if you guys in a review, that’s true, baby, baby.

I love you.

I love you.

We love you.

Love you guys will see you next week every fucking Weinstein.

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