Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Zach Braff

0:00

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to armchair expert.

Today.

We have a guest that a lot of people been asking for for two reasons.

I think a they’re just interested in him, which is very natural.

But even I think more pronounced is the desire to hear the two people who look most alike on planet Earth, sit down and talk to one another because for many years now, go over a decade.

0:22

Zach Braff often gets asked if he is Dax Shepard and and I always get asked if I’m Zach Braff.

And people on Twitter like to remind us of the similarity every few minutes.

I think, I think we’ve both had a fun journey of accepting that embracing it.

0:38

We will talk at Great length about it.

Zach Braff, you know, from Without a Paddle, Punk’d Zathura parent.

Oh wait now Zach gravity know from Scrubs and Garden State.

He has a brand new show called Alex ink which is premiering right now or just came out, so please sit back and enjoy.

1:00

Boy, this in-depth exploration of two?

Doppelgangers.

Can I be pluralized?

I don’t know.

Maybe Monaco effect.

Check it.

He’s an object.

1:28

Greenlight chips, because I’m not going to not work for the neck, right?

Two years or whatever but I thought that was the Apex of our similarity is that we were.

And I remember seeing you on.

I was, I remember seeing you on the lot and let me introduce you.

Sorry, Zach around rolling.

We will be, it’s like looking in the mirror.

1:43

Zach Braff welcomed to the armchair expert.

I think this is for many folks who like one hand or both of us?

Yeah.

This is this is a long time in the make it happen.

The America wanted this where I don’t think, I don’t think.

America is ready for us to be visually in front of them.

2:00

At the same time, all the picture, the picture that you’re going to.

We’re going to take is going to blow people’s mind.

Yes.

I think you, and I both talked publicly about the fact that Kristen wants took out one of those face swapping photos of you and I and to switch her face and you genuinely can’t tell whose faces.

It’s really weird though.

2:15

Because I mean we even the tired I think you have there are get bomber, isn’t it?

That’s all right, but I mean, we’re actually the same age too, right?

I’m 42 about 40 43.

Okay?

Yeah.

I’ve Been Told I look like so many people throughout my life.

But I feel like as we’re aging we are aren’t we are merging in our looks getting even closer and also, you’ve gotten way more successful and known.

2:38

And it’s changing in really annoying.

My life.

Good, good good, good, and I really want to go through the history of the whole thing.

Yeah, you let me start because my for earliest memory of it is, is Kristen taking that faceswap picture.

It was long time ago.

It was at, I think the so has her some some event, some fancy things.

2:54

I’m fancy a valley, would eat some Hollywood.

He fancy.

And I remember all that is funny because we do kind of look alike.

That was the first time you had heard that.

No, I think I’d heard it.

And so I I knew why she was doing it, but I think it wasn’t it wasn’t everywhere right now it now it comes in my life every two days.

3:11

Yeah, I think both of us have had tweets where we said like if someone doesn’t point that out to me after like a day, I think Twitter’s broken.

Like, I think that actually is not functioning for people.

It’s funny that on Twitter.

People are like, has anyone ever thought that like, yeah, people have thought it.

It reminds me of out.

3:27

We’ll go Places and moms will say to Kristen.

Like, I know this is crazy.

But my daughters are obsessed with Frozen.

It’s kind of like, well, yeah, made a billion for I assume some girls are out.

Yeah, let me tell you what hurts my feelings when they find out.

3:43

I’m not you.

This is how usually goes down, because we have so much in common.

What’s bizarre is not a.

We look alike.

We have so much in common.

And one of the things is that we were both on a show that mixed drama and comedy.

So I will have people come up to me in ago.

3:59

I did a holding their heart and then I loved your show and I go thank you so much.

You’re so sweet, and they’ll go on and just the way that it would go between comedy and drama.

I go.

Thank you.

I know that was all Bill Lawrence and no, I’m not gonna say, I didn’t improv a little and, and they’d be like and your wife is the cutest.

4:22

I’m like, oh, I don’t have a wife.

Let alone a cute one.

Welcome to my world where my I think most Compliments are just a conduit to tell me.

They like, my wife.

It’s like, you gotta get through the part where they act like, they like me, just of Italy.

Christians, Fame is really made things difficult for me.

Yeah.

4:38

Well, let me tell you from might because you are successful before I was in the very first time, this was brought to my attention, is my uncle called me.

He goes.

Oh my God.

I thought you finally got a show.

If you’ve seen the show Scrubs.

I’m like, no, you go.

This guy’s identical to you.

And, you know, generally when people tell you, you look like somebody I never agreed.

4:57

Yeah, the other people I’m like, I don’t see it, people tell me I look like Tom Petty.

I do I get Tom Cavanagh.

Do you get Tom?

Cavanagh know you get Ray Romano?

I do together where we diverges that.

I don’t look anything like Ray, you know, you do look like a little bit.

Our Venn diagram overlap said John Ritter, I think.

Okay.

5:13

I’ll take that.

Let me both look a little like a young.

John Ritter.

That’s flattering.

Yeah, I get the guy a lot from Kreuger.

Chad.

Chruch a cougar’s.

Do you like a Gordon?

I’m not gonna get the chat right now.

It was better when you were both.

Of us when your hair was more blond.

5:29

Yeah, I think you should go.

Is there some sort of why are you open to dying?

I used to get highlights because my hero Brad Pitt got highlights.

So I did too, and yeah, I’ve just fallen off a bit.

But so my uncle says, you know, watch this show Scrubs and I tune it in.

And I gotta say, I was like, oh my God, that is me not just the physical stuff like the nose and the mouth but the way you talk the way your lips moved.

5:53

I was like, this is very tired.

I think.

Well, that’s new though a night.

His remaining for you.

I had, I always had this.

Oh, you did.

Yeah.

I just thought it was sort of my complexion and then the makeup artist sound shows are always trying to cover it up.

I’m like, that’s not going anywhere.

Should we go in for like, maybe we could sue for one?

Because basically, once they draw the, you know, the template on one face, they can just replicate.

6:14

So it’s funny.

You once said to me and I always tell people this story because we come from such different backgrounds.

And you said, look, let’s get this.

The movie sells itself.

We were separated at Birth twins.

Identical twins, identical twins.

You said I You were raised in the South.

6:29

I hillbilly.

Yeah, or like, you work on a ranch or something.

And I’m like East Coast, Jewish guy.

Yeah, and for some reason, we have to go to the opposite.

I have to go work with the hillbillies.

Yeah, and you have to go to the bar mitzvah for the Goldbergs.

Yeah.

Well, you know, be great is just a body switching comedy with you and I cause we know, so there’s no snakes.

6:49

There’s absolutely no Stakes.

It’s like, oh, no, I look just like me and I do the same thing.

What will I do?

No more like that movie, Dave.

Yeah, yeah, we looks exactly like the president.

Yes.

And so they put him in as a front for the president.

But my pitch to you that that movie was called nature versus nurture and it was the movie was, you know, in a comedic way was going to tackle.

7:10

What does your upbringing do to you?

Could it make you a Jewish guy on one side and a hillbilly on the other you started as the same.

This is nice.

I know where I’m.

I’m one tickets, sold for that movie back.

I don’t know why I haven’t pitched it yet.

But so first I saw, you know, scrubs and then I got to tell you my personal feelings about Out were oh great.

7:29

I’m not going to ever work anyways, and certainly not now because there’s already a me work.

They already got me.

They don’t need a second one.

So I was jealous of you for sure.

And then the next time it happened was puncta dared.

7:44

I Do Without a Paddle, I’m in San Francisco.

With the other two boys, Matt and Seth, and where they’re promoting it.

And a guy comes up to me, on the street.

He goes.

Oh my God.

I’m so fucking excited to see your movie.

And I’m like, oh, thank you.

Because Garden State, and without a paddle came out.

Within the same summer, I believe.

I was dating one of your co-stars.

8:00

Bonnie, Somerville.

That’s right.

Just a just make it weirder.

Yeah.

I do remember that.

It was the exact time God.

I forgot all about that, cuz I would make those jokes in New Zealand like easy to get confused.

No one would blame you.

But that was the first experience.

I was so, you know, same shit.

8:16

He, oh my God, I can’t wait to see your movie.

I’m thinking great.

People are going to see without a paddling.

Oh my, it looks so funny.

I’m like, yep, it does look funny and they do that thing where you’re like standing in front of the wallpaper with the same shirt, and I’m like, well wrong guy.

Yeah, that’s a little disappointing.

You have your big moment kind of stone.

Especially the very beginning.

8:32

Yeah, I understand.

And I’m going to play armchair psychologist.

I just have to imagine if I’m you.

Okay, and I’m start getting compared to a guy who’s on a reality show, Punk’d.

Mmm.

I’m not pumped about that.

It’s not like they’re saying, you know, you look like Richard Gere.

8:48

Will you please pledge?

If you’ve always been very fit.

Oh, so I always assumed that they thought I was muscular.

Okay.

In fact, I was laser, but that my dog go this way.

Dr. Literally yesterday, I walk in and he’s really sassy doctor.

He likes to be a wiseass.

It’s part of his shtick and he goes, I gotta tell you something.

9:05

I just saw this movie on the plane and I go going and styles pretty good.

Right?

Because no, no, no, it was a guy who looks like you.

I’m like Dax Shepard Giggles.

Yeah.

Chips on the plane.

I go.

He goes.

You really really look alike.

I go.

I know.

I know he’s, he’s a really good shape.

9:23

I got and I gonna know he works out a lot.

I think, obviously, and he goes, no, but I mean, like he’s really, really good shape.

I don’t know.

I got and I got everything.

We’re doctor to meet.

Oh, listen to goes One Step worse.

So I know I got it.

I got it so that he was going to go to room to.

9:38

I’ll be in a second, comes in a room to he goes.

I mean the dude is like ripped.

Are you guys?

Okay, take out de sica’s.

Take off your shirt and we’re gonna take some blood and I take off my shirt.

He goes.

Oh, man.

Yeah, you look nothing like enough.

That’s great.

9:54

That’s my doctor.

Yeah.

I’m like, you’re such a dick, but, but, but again, back to the potentially emotional stuff, you write of it.

I’m sure expert because I feel like it again.

This is my own.

This is my own perspective and I’m sure it’s very warped by my own insecurities.

Yeah, but my perspective was that you did not enjoy that.

10:12

For now, you rather than it.

I did.

Yeah, I didn’t think at all.

Okay, you’re from New Jersey.

Is that accurate?

Yes.

I’m from South Orange, New Jersey.

How close is that to Manhattan?

It’s about 45 minutes.

There’s a commuter train that will take you there in 20 minutes.

And what did your parents do?

10:27

My dad was a trial attorney?

Hmm, corporate litigation.

My mom raised four kids and wasn’t was a nurse and then decided she wanted to go back and get her PhD.

And whilst raising four kids.

She went back to school at nights.

And got her PhD and became a psychologist.

10:44

Yeah, it’s pretty amazing.

Wow.

So your mom is a very strong kind of major term and amazing and so smart and you find that you’re attracted to non deadbeats exclusively know my mom.

Wishes.

I was, I was I would date someone.

I married my mother for sure.

11:01

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Why would you want seems Powerhouse?

Oh, she’s strong machine work workaholic company started as a janitor built.

This great company very inspiring and When I had girlfriends, I was like, what, what are you up to today?

I’m just gonna, and I’m, like, I’m out.

11:17

If you’re not like tangling lying above those of that.

I think I often end up with women who don’t have the most Direction the opposite.

Yeah.

And what do you think that is in some weird way, a rejection of your mother or I think it’s Hollywood.

Really?

I’m just around.

I’m not to blame it on.

11:32

The town was my I think we’re on my own responsibility.

But you know, there’s so many people in our industry that are sort of aimless.

Sure.

And that’s who I’m around.

But most often, as you said, you date women, who are like, what you doing today?

Like I don’t know.

I’m probably gonna, I might work out, and then I’m going to read Instagram.

11:49

Yeah, I might have Instagram but it, but it could be.

It’s also I think an easy trap, if you have the lifestyle that you have where you’re working weird hours, and then you’re on locations.

And then you also live in New York.

So the less someone has going on, the more conducive, it is for them to join you for the ride. 1000%.

12:06

And that’s what gets in the way.

When you when you know, last person I was exclusively, was she wasn’t?

Business, but she had a child and was sort of based here and that definitely makes you go.

Oh, well then, how do I continue to?

How do you go on location for six months or how you know, it’s like especially when you’re directing your there longer.

12:24

And so anyway, it’s just that’s why of course, that’s the that’s one of the trophy reasons.

Why actors often date other actors just because they have all that sort of Lifestyle.

Yeah, and your dad is clearly a bright individuals.

Yes, trial attorney.

Yeah, and he’s the reason I got in the business actually because his hobby was he loved theater more than anything.

12:41

Oh, really?

And he did the community theater plays.

He was always the star.

Oh really good.

And so I would go as a little kid and watch him and be the star of the local production and have people cheer for him.

And I was like, I want Ms. Yeah that looks like it tastes good.

Yeah, and I was on the stage crew.

12:57

I would be like the little kid helping out on the sets.

Moving the sets and then little by little, I’ve got to do it.

And my stereotype of a trial attorney as someone who’s pretty Agro.

It was he was the alpha in nature.

No, it wasn’t Alpha is for sensitive, you know, lover, I’m a big hugger of a guy, uh-huh.

Just accidentally said, my dad was a sensitive lover.

13:14

But what I meant was what I meant was that he’s a patient lover.

I’m is intend to never, you never rushes.

No.

No, I meant that he meant is that he is a big softie Huggy kind of guy and no, I mean it was a tough attorney.

13:32

I’m sure when he needed to be but he was he was a great dad and they stayed married.

No, no, don’t be ridiculous.

Don’t you find out?

Someone is someone who knows?

Divorcing?

Every day.

Yeah.

And what age were you when they got divorced?

I was eight.

That’s pretty rough because you have the whole nuclear family experience for quite a while.

13:51

I did in that, it sucked.

And then they they both meant well, but what they did was they did joint custody a week in a week, which is not something a lot of people do know, that’s bizarre.

But but I don’t recommend it.

You can’t build a life and either place, right?

Pretty much you would be sad on Sunday when you move and then throughout the course of the week you’d get used to the other rhythms of the I’ll see you used to the other parenting style and then bout Friday, it feels right.

14:17

Yeah, and then on Sunday, you’d move again.

That’s good for me to hear because, of course.

My woe is me.

Stories.

I had my dad did every other weekend, but on that weekend usually dropped us off in my grandparents.

And man, are we went to the bar with him?

So I’m like, oh, well, that’s as bad as it gets.

Well, I think but I heard it’s also some room between is ideal.

14:33

Maybe that’s the way.

Yeah, I mean they he meant well because they were going through divorce, whatever it happens, but he wanted to be as involved as possible, but I don’t think it was it was good for Our mental health and a very time-consuming job lawyer, right?

Probably the worst hours of any occupation.

Yeah, a lot of pressure work a ton.

14:49

He worked a ton.

We had that we had a babysitter when we pretty much all the time V.

I’m a Haitian woman who taught me Creole.

Oh, really?

Could you say anything to us?

Or is that a cultural appropriation?

Will we get in trouble for?

I don’t know.

I think so.

We got Monica, you’re asking three interesting.

15:06

You’re asking a minority woman do that.

So, I mean, that’s my, I think It was mozzie curses.

She’d yell at her daughter Cynthia, my because I figure what kinda been more cheese salad, which pretty much means like, came here.

15:22

I’m gonna break your face coming to eat you.

You slut perfect sentence for you to learn.

It is what she would be.

She would be for a person with who daughter.

She feared.

She would have this, he had the cutest little daughter and she would scream in her in in Creole and eventually you’ve got all the research we like what are you saying?

15:40

And he’s like, you don’t want to know but we We’re running around me like because if you go your Haitian, listening audience is shocked.

That I know this the really excited.

I will say you just far exceeded my expectations.

Well, how about you Monica when I said do you know any and then he kind of looked down and I could see he was trying to recollect, lemons are one of the best.

15:58

He’ll get one word.

I was trying my search my brain for a phrase that she would yell my because they figure I’m gonna I think it means I’m gonna break your fucking face.

So Monica was just on vacation with Chris and I in Turks and And of course, the very first thing I do is I’m picking up some of the words that the guys that work their use.

16:17

And then, of course, I’m insisting on using them to, and it’s of great embarrassment to Monica.

When I’m saying Wigwam was that the thing?

Nice.

They’re probably they’re probably used to tourists coming and trying to be cool.

Yeah.

It’s a sickness.

16:33

I have where I can’t have a hard time not being a part of any group that I’m around the notion that I won’t be.

Included, is insufferable.

To me pretty gregarious guy.

It seems like tool fault.

It seems to be one.

Will you place we differ since we have some of the same DNA, you are very gregarious and outgoing and popular and popular?

16:55

Like, well, you have a lot of friends, don’t you?

I think I know who the guy is very, so you’re very social.

Yes.

I love have.

I think the one thing that makes being on planet Earth worthwhile is being as having friends.

Yeah.

And so you and your wife, you often, when you’re not working going to that people’s things and events.

17:11

Well, that were not I mean, I will say that’s probably misleading because obviously the only time you are, I see each other is at an event.

That’s rest assured.

That’s probably the one event we went to.

I mean, we’re very like body.

Oh, yeah, but were super social.

Yes.

We’re always at someone else’s house with each other, friends and family were kids.

17:26

And we have kids and when you have kids, you’ll see like everything right?

It’s all about making getting them preoccupied so you can so you can like a dream or something.

Yeah.

So Mom, she continued to practice psychology.

She had a practice and patience.

My mom fell in love and moved in with a My stepfather.

17:42

They got married and then they both would see patients in the living room.

No kidding.

Yeah, and we were kids.

We would East drop, you know, I feel like in the Bible in the basement, like with my model trains, like like listening.

I can’t believe that what they’re fighting about and like it would be the most intense.

17:58

Yeah, therapy stuff.

Is it is that good or bad to hear as a kid?

I remember the first time it happened.

There was a couple arguing in the living room.

They were crying and screaming as couples.

New.

Couples therapy to goodness.

Will eventually my parents.

Figured I’d like a felt like I was going to say, like, my parenting style is like, this is close to mr.

18:19

Fantastic.

As you can get, like they hear the goddamn truth.

If she asks, how baby comes a penis in the vagina, Jackie lid on the ovum, like, I don’t, I don’t shy away, but you can make it, not say a jacket.

And say there’s a magic sauce, baby batter know, I probably cleaned it up a bit.

18:36

But even if with my stance on this, I don’t know that, that’s the ideal scenario, but Maybe it is welcoming you to what the world really is, which, I don’t know.

It’s bad.

I think it was traumatic at first and then they got a little bit better about picking the hours because at first, it was like, you know, after dinner, like gonna see a married couple in the living room, but then they started figuring it out and scheduling the mostly during the day, but you’re hearing about people’s sex lives are no, I was questionably, right?

18:59

Because that’s usually a big problem and I relationship.

I don’t mean to say that I was sitting there with my ear against the wall.

What I mean to say, is that when it would Crescendo like, well, they were the living room with the door closed.

Uh-huh, but whenever Crescendo like, fuck you, Bob Yeah, yeah, then you’d hear ya or when some woman was was weeping.

19:15

You’d hear it.

You know.

Yeah, it’s hard to address the HO train tracks when when someone’s crying above your head.

And do you think that your mother did you ever at Times?

Feel like she was psychoanalyzing you sometimes, but I would say more often than not, it was good.

It was a good thing because they were she was my mom is an amazing listener.

19:34

And actually, you know, it started as you start to get older.

You go.

Wait a minute.

This is free therapy.

Yeah, if you dig it, I’m well, I did.

And then I eventually I’ve been to therapy.

On my own, without it, being a parent’s out, your mom which is better.

I’m sure there were times where I was like, oh my God, stop analyzing me, but I think they were more times than not than not that.

19:51

It was like, wow.

She’s such a good listener.

She’s really sitting there and being patient and letting me voice my feelings.

Yeah, that part’s great.

Well, first, I should say, I’m very Pro therapy.

So I think it’s a great resource.

But I’ve also heard this stereotype that generally, you know, people that are drawn at their psychology as a major, you know, pretty fucked up themselves and then this cycle.

20:11

I heard that, you know, that’s not my experience.

My mom was not that way and maybe more delicate about that.

So you’re searching for some healing and because you have some trouble and you go, oh this place has some answers.

I’m attracted to finding out those answers.

I don’t mean to say it in though, they’re fucked up and then they go into psychology.

20:27

But clearly if something ails you and there’s a solute potential solution.

I could see where it would funnel in people that were feeling a little bit.

Well actually interesting.

My mom was the this is crazy.

But my mom she was a psychiatric nurse first.

So she was the Night Nurse.

Nurse at the VA psychiatric ward.

20:44

Oh wow.

Star, New Jersey.

Yeah, so that’s a ground zero.

That’s a really really intense job at night.

And and by the way, she had four kids, I think was so dedicated to helping people and was so blown away by what she saw.

In this VA hospital that been, she was like, I really want to get my PhD and I want to be a doctor.

21:04

I don’t want to see honors.

Stay tuned for more armchair expert.

If you dare.

And what order were you in these four Kid last?

21:20

Oh you were yeah, huh.

I’m not super familiar with what that is supposed to be.

That provide the perfect for you being an armchair expert.

Yeah.

I’m a middle child.

So I know all about and I’m very familiar with what a firstborn does.

But what is the last form do?

Well?

I think it would say you’re spoiled, right?

I don’t know.

21:35

I mean, they’re kind of like will give you whatever you want at this point and you have a little bit longer leash because they’re tired of micromanaging.

Yeah, you and your siblings that are In you.

Yeah, and also, you know, I think they are and a lot of The Kinks with the first 3.

Hmm.

So things they were doing that.

We’re not working by the time they got to me they were like, let’s try it this way this time.

21:54

Yeah, and I think they were probably more patient with me and and more support may be more supportive of what I wanted to do.

And how spaced out where you guys roughly.

Every, my eldest brother is 10 years older than me.

So, and then, my brother is viewers are going to him.

And then my sister, I don’t know, like roughly 2 or 3 each and did you idolize any of those, all of them?

22:12

You did all of them at different times?

Is my brother, Adam came out to Hollywood, you went to UCLA and then he was out here working in Hollywood and I would come out and I just, you know, I so want to work in the movie even as a little kid and I just he would bring me on sets and and I just thought it was the most exciting thing.

So did he pursue something?

22:28

And he started in the art Department?

He went to art school at UCLA and then he got in got into the union and started working in the art department on TV shows and movies as a set dresser and was kind of working on really big shows and then he started writing and they’re actually my last movie that I’m 8 not before going in.

22:44

I was called Wish I Was Here inspired by our family and I wrote that with him.

Yeah, the very good writer.

But yeah, that’s so my point is, as I was a kid coming out here.

He was bringing, he would bring me on these amazing sets and bring me these prop houses and it was just so excited.

Anything at that.

I’d ride is like anything that’s getting close to the businesses.

23:01

I had.

No, I had no other interests except entertainment didn’t know interested in sports, had no interest in.

I mean, I liked girls and I liked being an actor and a filmmaker.

That’s all I wanted to do.

And did you act as a kid?

Yeah, my first part was Actually in a pilot for CBS and it was Gwyneth Paltrow’s first part as well.

23:19

Oh, no kidding and nothing ever became of her.

Yeah.

We were not pilot for CBS called high about a high school and she was the beautiful cheerleader and I was the nerdy freshman.

Okay, you know, ensemble, cast High School show.

Did you date in the show when we didn’t?

23:35

But I remember thinking as a 14 year old boy, that type of beautiful human being.

I have not yet seen in South Orange, New Jersey.

Yeah, because she’s nine feet tall and blonde.

She was just his quest Paltrow met at 17 18, and she was the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life was before you.

23:51

And I never see him.

Did you tell me personally, or did I see an interview with you?

But did you used to go to Camp?

I did.

I went to a theater Camp called stage-door, Manor!

Which is when you when you’re a kid and you like acting and you really want to take it.

Seriously, you go.

Yeah, and it’s why I got scouted by by agents and that sent me on auditions for that.

24:08

But when you go there, I’m assuming you’re the king of Camp.

Are you?

Like not only are you like the quarterback of the football?

All team.

Well, well what happens is yeah, because I mean I’m not to toot my own horn, but I was a kid actor.

I was pretty darn good.

Uh-huh, and you’re not terrible looking are not terrible looking and I love that when you when you say it is so fun and you’re fucking hot.

24:28

It’s beyond.

Well, that’s that’s what we didn’t cover.

I should have said that our friends that I hate the way I look.

So I don’t know how to do you love how you look?

I don’t hate how he lied know.

I, when I, it’s funny because I we both direct ourselves and and we have to always have to look at the Monitor and you’re usually Thing with like, you know, Kate Hudson are now only Portman and it’s like, oh my God, its beauty and the fucking beast.

24:48

Yeah.

All right in.

It’s hard not to so it makes it worse, right?

When you’re in these movies with these beautiful people or just fucking on a 5-foot tall screen.

It’s not you know, right the flaws come out and I kind of read the somewhere, some famous actor was like the second.

You can let all that.

25:03

Ego should go the happier, you’ll be, but I’m 42.

I haven’t yet.

But anyway, so I and also a lot of the young boys there were already realizing they were gay.

All right.

Yeah, so that It even more Utopia because you’re going through puberty.

I was like 13 years old, you’re in this camp with all these beautiful girls and I’m, you’re 13 years old, like really going through the changes.

25:25

Yeah, and things are happening, half.

The population is gay and you’re, and I’m getting the leads in the show.

So it was a bit was like, yeah, and then, when you would return to, did you go to public?

Yeah, then I returned to public high.

School were like the lacrosse.

Kids were cool.

And I was just a dork.

It was, it was a real mindfuck.

25:41

I would really be so depressed when I came back.

Yes, I am a joke.

Side, I would really go through a depression when I came back because it was like, you’d been to Heaven.

Yes, and I’m not all the gates.

I mean, I’m joking.

I mean, obviously the girls part was one of it but was really like, here acting as cool and here performing as cool and here you don’t have to hide who you are.

26:00

Yeah, and then I’d go back and oh, I got about the public school have to act like, you know, I have to put on all these all these layers back on.

Yeah.

It was a mind.

Fuck.

I sent my mom a picture me yesterday, an old picture.

I’d found she goes.

Oh my God.

Why do you look so sad?

And I think I said I think is the day.

I was leaving.

Camp literally just texted her this yesterday because I, you know, was it was like being, it was like being yanked out of Utopia.

26:21

I don’t know if you’ve had this experience.

I’m sure you’ve met a ton of successful people in this business.

And what’s interesting to see what happens is, some male actors, is they were a nerd in high school and then they enter Show Business, and then they are brilliant at that.

26:37

And then they become a leading man.

And then they are in the world’s eyes, the quarterback of the football team, but they have no experience.

Koreans with that, it from their childhood, or their teen years or anything.

So they’re really trying on an ill-fitting jacket.

I’d own a bunch of different guys who basically women love them.

26:54

They have every option at their disposal yet.

They had none of that in their childhood.

It’s just a little confusing.

I’ve seen it kind of warp and weird ways.

Have you witnessed that at all?

Do you know I’m talking about, vaguely.

I mean, II had a lot of things.

You just said, what I’m suggesting is that you did have those windows where you were this thing that happened to you later in life for girls, obviously.

27:14

Like you and I weigh more than they should.

Yes, right.

We’re people that are way out of our league now are somehow in our league that can be very confusing.

But if you’ve had at least this experience in childhood of going to this camp where you’re kind of the stud a little bit of that.

And also have a, I wasn’t, I wasn’t, I was nerdy and I was nerdy and into the a.v.

27:33

Club.

I mean, I literally member I remember as it mean taking pride in like I’m the one who gets to set up this projector and is motherfuckers wish but they knew how to put these reels.

Share the bulb went out.

I just I just remember thinking like they must think I look so cool.

27:50

Sending you the projectory.

Yeah, like a guy from NASA came in.

Yeah.

I just remember feeling like just like a badass.

So I was nerdy in that way.

I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t crushing in high school.

I’m not even saying that.

That’s what I meant.

Is, there isn’t one time.

I’m telling you an ingredient that I did.

That, that some of the examples you did that, you mentioned might not have.

28:08

And that was, I did learn to adapt by come becoming the class clown.

Uh-huh.

I learned that.

Okay.

I’m not going to play.

I’m I’m going to get that cute girl, that Captain the soccer teams getting.

But I’m going to make friends and at least finds some females who are semi Anatomy by making them laugh.

And so I sort of developed being the class clown and being outrageous and beings doing stupid shit.

28:27

Yes, and did you learn to dance because I was another tactic I employed.

I didn’t you didn’t I wish I did.

I was watching this girl dance hip hop style on HipHop.

I sound so old dancing, the hip-hop sold and white.

It was like I couldn’t decide what you sounded more older white.

Hip-hop club scene.

28:45

I was watching this woman date and dance in the hip hop style and I was like, wow, I wish I could dance like that and with her because she looks so good doing it.

Yeah, I think if you married being funny and good dancing together.

Yeah, like Justin Timberlake he’s doing okay.

29:01

Yeah guys, he’s alright.

He’s a jerk.

I was fully prepared to support him as an amazing singer and Dancer when he crushed that saying live.

I was like we get it.

Yeah and not leave a little for the rest of us, right?

I know, but I just want to go back to this point because if I can Timberland, this isn’t you.

29:18

But I bet you more than seventy two percent of the country wants to date him.

That’s a damn certainty.

I’m looking at a thing on decks as wall.

It says, they asked US Weekly people has really happened.

Would you, would you date Dax?

And it’s, and there’s a picture of Dax and it looks a lot like me as you as, you know, and then questions, maybe they thought they were voting on you fucking asshole.

29:39

Would you date Dax?

And then it says, 72 percent Said No, by the way, are these women?

Great.

Did you date Ashley Olsen and Kate Hudson?

Or is that just us week?

Or you know, how to talk about that?

I did date both those people.

Yeah.

Coughs weakly, got someone, they were all wonderful folks, both of them.

But the thing I’ve seen that’s happened a couple times with actors.

29:56

I know ton of women love them in their success.

It’s weirdly made them a little misogynistic because it’s like, they don’t trust it.

It’s like well fuck that you only like me now you like me because I’m this, you know, I’m saying like there’s like a distrust in that.

I think you can weed that out by the time you’ve had enough experience.

30:14

Obviously, when you first get famous and you can’t believe a pretty girl likes you just because you’re famous.

Yeah, it’s very intoxicating.

Sure.

But at 42, especially if you’re like, I assume are similar and that were like, we weren’t tens.

But we certainly had an appetite for that.

And so we’re doing everything we’re juggling and spinning every plate possible to get.

30:32

Well, I don’t know about you, but I was fucking girl crazy my life.

I mean, to Mandy Moore was my biggest crush, and then I, and then I dated it for two and a half years.

Yeah.

I mean just doesn’t exist as an example of your point.

No, no, but But here’s what happened to me on an emotional Journey.

You know, I was trying to get girls that were by my estimation better than me.

30:53

And if I could convince them to like me, then I thought I would be able to believe that I was desirable or attractive or all these things.

I thought that somehow if they liked me, I would start to maybe like me, right?

Well, that’s pretty standard.

I think for anybody.

31:08

Yes, and I’m wondering if you had this experience with Mandy War.

I had gotten to a point where I thought, It will love this person likes me.

It’s a done deal.

I really am.

No.

And I woke up next to this person.

I’m like, I still feel like a piece of shit.

Yeah.

Well, I was that expression wherever you go.

31:24

There you are.

Yeah, and that’s a weird.

First of all, it’s, I guess.

I’m very grateful to have had that experience because it did teach me, wait a minute, like dated Chris, then you found Kristen did you, but Kristen, and I can say this, by the way, still thinking she’s the most Sensational person in the world, but I didn’t know who Kristen Bell was.

31:41

So, I met her at a dinner party.

She this was a girl.

I She was an actress because she had just finished some movie and she was talking about that.

But I was like she was talking about some deal.

She got at Target and she was so enthusiastic about the savings at Target and I found.

Oh, this person is very cute and interesting, right?

31:57

So it really, I will say it didn’t do anything for my ego.

At that moment.

I wasn’t like oh if I can get this girl’s famous pretty if she likes me then maybe I’m a good deal and I’d already had had the realization just before that where I’m like, okay that you gotta try another strategy for self-esteem because it’s not going.

32:14

To come from someone else.

Yeah.

And so you’re saying, did you have a similar feeling?

I think, of course, I had that experience.

I went.

Oh my goodness.

I can’t believe this person likes me.

Yeah.

And not just with Manny with other, with other women.

I dated it was like, wow, this is what’s wrong with them.

Yeah.

Well, that Monica, and I have talked about this a lot and now there’s a line.

32:32

And here’s my sickness.

My sickness is this person’s better than me.

I get them to like me and then instead of me feeling better, I go.

Oh, this person is more of a looser than I thought they were, because they like me, it actually D values them, instead of valuing line.

Annie Hall.

When Helen says, I would never want to be a part of any club.

32:47

That would have me as a member.

Yes.

Yes, which I think is a marks.

Yeah, he’s quoting someone else’s.

Yeah, one of the Marx Brothers, I think.

But I do.

I always related to that like that, that sort of like, what the okay, you get this girl to like you and then they like you and you’re like the hell’s wrong with her.

Yeah, 100% It’s a Madness, right?

33:04

It’s crazy to realign erotic that.

It’s at.

The self-esteem thing is an inside job.

It’s not an outside job.

It’s not a car’s not going to give it to you a job.

An award a page.

A check, right?

They will temporarily make you feel healthier in that regard.

Since you’ve had this realization.

Oh 100%, you know, did you read Siddhartha when you were a kid?

33:23

No.

Okay.

Well, the story of Siddhartha is, you know, he’s on this journey for enlightenment.

He ends up finding it through excess, weirdly, you know, and I have found in my own life that I’ve been lucky enough to get all these things.

I thought were going to heal me and then they didn’t, and then I went.

Oh, it’s something else, right?

33:39

But had I not been given the things.

I would still be on the endless pursuit of it.

Yeah.

I feel the same way.

I mean, I can I can report that my times in life, when I’m completely down, have not gone away from having enormous success.

33:54

And yeah, and luck in certainly, right?

If you tell, if you go back in time and you find Zach at 20 years old, you went to Northwestern, right?

And you go.

Hey, guess what, dude, you’re going to be making this much money and be on this network and blah blah blah.

I’m certain that the 20-year old.

34:09

Zach would be like, oh well, then I’m going to be the happiest guy on earth.

Right?

Right, right, right, which would be awesome.

If that’s all work, it’s all relative to, you know, wherever you go, there you are.

And so that brain and and the things you worry about and obsess about in an erotic about are always with you and where you, where you are and how much money you have and yeah, you know, I’ve met miserable billionaires.

34:26

I’m sure you have.

Oh, yeah, there was as you know, you listen to stern.

I know you’re a faster but you ever hear Mike tight.

He’s my favorite Mike Tyson, anytime he’s uncertain but I have but I remember what it’s turns obsessed with the fact that he lost 500 million.

I was like, you know, how do you even go to sleep at night?

And he goes how would I have friends at the billionaire that killed himself?

34:43

I have something.

Money can’t buy and I’m like, I believe him.

Yeah, and what a fucking healthy play.

Still living in this town.

I haven’t.

You met a lot of very, very, very successful.

I idolized.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

I go.

Oh, wow, and that, and by the way, that’s been another thing.

34:58

I feel grateful about is I’ve met some of my heroes and I’ve seen that the success didn’t help in that capacity, you know?

That they didn’t like themselves more.

They weren’t necessarily happier.

Yeah.

I met some of the richest people in the world.

35:14

Sultan of Brunei who could not be more successful at what they do, who are, who are more miserable.

So do you think that your mother gave you some tools?

I had to learn all this in a.

A if I hadn’t become a drug addict.

I wouldn’t have picked up any other stuff.

You were sober and I know you didn’t and I mean, a drinking Joe.

I’m sorry, still angry about.

35:31

I’m flattered jokes.

I’m very Pro many years.

You been drinking 13 years.

I mean, it seems better.

I feel like that’s a good thing.

Don’t you feel so much more productive.

I do, you know that I can tell you the singular goal.

I had after a few.

Sobriety I said to myself, I want to figure out how to be 12 year old Dax, who was just a so excited to walk outside in do something.

35:53

Like I wanted to recapture my enthusiasm for being unplanned or that I didn’t need to put something in me to get that enthusiasm.

And for years.

I was pessimistic.

I was not gonna get that back and I will say around seven or eight years.

I found myself like fuck.

Yeah.

What are we doing?

We’re going to go off-roading.

36:09

We’re going to like, I’m pretty on fire to be on planet Earth, which was something I had lost for many, many years.

Ears.

And that part’s really exciting.

I’m reading this amazing book about habits and breaking habits and has a whole section on AA.

And I was learning so much about it that I didn’t know they sort of before, its time.

36:26

Figured out how to break habits.

Yeah.

It’s like 1950.

I think is around when it when it started, they’re going on.

Yeah, nothing there.

The vented it out of thin air.

There’s no, there’s nothing scientific about.

I know that was so interesting that they the whole chapter in this book.

About analyzing what’s amazing about what works about it, and this sort of science.

36:44

Hind changing your habits, which I which I which I found really fascinating.

Are there specific habits that you’re attempting to change?

Yeah.

I mean, I think you can came secret but if there’s some other some private but there’s one, I would say is I’d like to be more productive.

I get really inspired by people not necessarily in our business, but just by talking to just super smart successful, people in all several different Industries and met some really fascinating tech people recently.

37:11

And I just feel like I could, I could be so much more productive and not Not be what I think is lazy.

Okay.

Well what, what is your motivator because you are an, I are both writers and writing is the worst thing.

Someone can do it is it’s very hard.

In fact, it’s funny because Bill Lawrence.

Who’s one of the reasons.

37:27

I have a career who created scrubs and is one of my best friends.

He hates writing.

Yeah, and he’s like, he’s like, this guy is like one of the most successful TV show Runners.

There is, and he’s like this, this nothing worse than having to write and there’s nothing better than having written.

37:43

Yeah.

Houston quote, Lawrence Kasdan is writers are people who have agreed to do homework for the rest of their lives.

Yes.

So I feel that way about all my God.

I’m gonna I gotta remember that because always nagging right?

It’s always in the back of your mind.

Well, I thought just like I should be writing and I have things that I want to write.

38:00

This is one of the habits.

I want to change.

I know people that write every day and I have never been that person.

I mean even Garden State was in, was in pieces all over my house for a long time and in sort of various stages.

Has.

And then I got scrubs and I quit my waiting tables job and then they told me, oh by the way, we’re not going to start shooting for four months or maybe or maybe was I we shot the pilot and there’s gonna be a four-month window before we found out if we were going or we’re starting.

38:26

I forgot.

Anyway, the point is, I had four months read, nothing to do and I went, this is assigned, you are such a fucking idiot.

If you don’t sit down at your at your dining room table, you’re gonna have your first big break and if you don’t have that screenplay ready, you better fucking sit down in the dining room table and put together and was like this the sort of berating myself.

38:42

Yes.

That finally made me sit down.

Dining room table and put it all together.

Yeah, for me.

It’s that way.

Every time you just it’s it’s very very hard to get my ass in the chair.

I remember it’s great.

Memory of my mom.

I was I knew I was so proud of of the script I’d written and I remember reading scenes from garden.

39:00

Say to my mom, like, almost like a kid being like, Mom.

Look at my art project.

Yeah, and I just remember this just as great pride at myself, like, look what I made.

I named him and no one Finance to get.

It was just like, look what I did.

Look, it’s 120.

Yeah.

And I was just so behold.

39:15

The thing there was this feeling of just process such Pride.

So, you know, it doesn’t happen often.

But if someone does ask me advice about writing my big trick is, I give myself permission to write something terrible.

That to me is the big hurdle because the, the the daunting this of having to sit down and write a great scene, is that it’s very daunting.

39:35

But if I go, all you got to do is sit down and type out for Pages, they can be shitty.

You’re allowed to just go ahead, write something shitty.

I like that inevitably.

It’s not a, it’s not DPL rewrite it and it’ll become something good.

But it’s for me.

It’s just going.

You’re allowed to be bad.

Just go be bad.

39:50

Right?

I think that’s all.

That’s part of the problem is, is that when it has on occasion, worked your now comparing.

Sure to that.

Yeah, my well, this this isn’t going to be that pilot.

You sold this isn’t going to be that movie that people liked.

Yeah, this is shit so far.

40:06

Yeah, but I really relate and I wonder if you have a similar desire, which is I have almost only been productive out of a place.

Of fear, so either I’m terrified.

I’ll end up penniless.

I’m terrified.

I won’t work again.

I’m telling myself.

40:21

I’m a lazy piece of shit.

I’m a coward.

I would, I would love to be able to write from a place of love and happiness, and excitement to create.

And I just, that’s not where I work from.

No, and she still discipline.

I think, when I talk about habits and changing habits, just just finding what I would like to get in the spirit of like I’m having this response to Zach.

40:42

Why don’t you go write for an hour?

Like I would love to change what’s happening in that chain.

That’s making me go find brain going find anything else.

Yeah, Yeah.

Clean refrigerator.

Ha ha.

Yeah.

Jerk off for me is usually high on that lurk.

Let’s just get this jerk-off out of.

40:58

Let’s get me a wink.

Once I jerk off.

I’ll be able to write.

I’ll clear my head, but I was so good.

Now to go back to your mother, but you’re gonna, yeah.

Yeah, that was natural are good.

You are good at this.

So I had to go to a but I’m wondering or I like to believe that you might have left.

41:13

The House was some tools that an average person doesn’t get having had a mother whose I think all.

And also my my stepmother was a, or is a therapist.

My stepfather was a psychologist.

I had it all around me.

Uh-huh.

41:29

And lots of self-help stuff.

Not just, not just traditional psychology.

Lots of self-help books.

Lots of self-help courses, and what are some of the things that you used or continue to use?

I took a client.

My stepmother.

Had me take a class called the for the landmark for Oh, yeah.

41:44

Yeah, our good friend.

Jess went to all of them and he’s pretty much downloaded all of it to us.

And I love it.

I got a lot out of it.

People are like, oh that sounds culty.

But for me, it wasn’t at all.

It was like a worksheet was a through was a three-day Workshop.

My stepmother was super into it used to be asked back in the day.

Yeah sort of like that which is a little more intense and I mericans you might have seen it on the American I didn’t.

42:04

They do ask the American baby idea.

Well, this is sort of a 2018 version while course I was doing it years ago, and I there’s tools I got in that Workshop that I think of All the time.

And I recommend that to people actually because I definitely got more out of it than I had that I had in the equivalent amount of therapy sessions.

42:21

Yeah, it will because it’s very, it is my understanding of it.

By way of Jesse’s that it is very action-oriented.

It is very pragmatic, you know, the deals with a lot of stuff with the voice in your head, right.

And the racket.

Yeah, that and I think anyone could benefit from some apparatus, some lever to manage the voices in our heads.

42:41

And, yes, and I was very practical and also I’d seen it Work on my, my stepmother had gotten our family into it.

So I’d seen it sort of helped my dad.

I’d seen it help other people.

And I did it when I was fresh out of college and it really was a good set of tools for me and other things, you know, she they were always giving my books and and saying, and just even quotes and and just things to try to help motivate me.

43:05

And a lot of it, you know, is what put a fire under my ass and got me to, to accomplish the things I’ve accomplished.

Was it hard to get into Northwestern.

That’s a phenomenal school.

Did you ever?

My grades I didn’t I didn’t, I mean, I had good grades.

I didn’t crush the SATs and I thought that I did, okay, but I thought that that would prevent me from getting him, but one thing that’s cool about Northwestern.

43:24

Is there.

One of those good schools that will look at the whole thing.

Aha, because I cannot even get considered by like, brown or Yale unless you have a high enough score, but Northwestern at least in 1993 prided themselves on saying look we was your extracurricular.

43:40

Do come have an interview.

Let me read your essays.

Let me look at everything.

Let me look at the whole package.

I went and interviewed and I had really interesting extra curricular activities because I was doing a lot of different things.

I was on a I was on the rescue squad.

I was, I was in a Woody Allen movie.

I had done a bunch of outside the box stuff.

43:58

Yeah.

So since you entered College having already worked, did you kind of just proceed with?

I’ll continue like I just to give you an example.

I find that this huge difference between Chris and I my Panic level about number working versus hers.

Is she’s always work.

She worked in.

44:14

Egan where we’re both from is like a 15 year old, you know, then she had to drop out of college to be in a Broadway play.

So her only experience with pursuing, this is, you know, success.

Even if it wasn’t gigantic.

It was a steady little stream of success.

So, do you think having had some success back in New Jersey?

You didn’t approach us with a ton of fear.

44:31

I always approached with fira, wasn’t cocky about it.

But I but I went into Kyle put it this way when I was cast in Manhattan murder mystery and, you know, I was raised on Woody Allen in Annie Hall and as any Hall was sort of like, you know, religion in my family.

Is it fair to say?

He’s the Jewish Michael Jordan.

Well, not right now.

44:47

He’s but then in 1993, but as a child, he was, you know, he and Mel Brooks and Neil Simon.

We’re godheads in my family, Jewish Jewish New York Comedians, and we would go see all their plays and we go see all their movies and my very first role is these are my scene Partners in my first movie role, Diane Keaton, Woody Allen and Anjelica Huston knots and I’m in one scene in Manhattan, murder mystery, but so I got that part and that was 18, it was like well, are you going to stay in New York and ran use this and ride this?

45:18

Yeah, as it would be, you know, it’s pretty dope thing to use and I said no, I really wanted to film someone make movies.

So I had to sort of confidence to go.

No, I’m not going to do that.

I want to go to school.

I want to, I want to get better.

I want to learn how to act.

I want to learn filmmaking.

So I sort of stopped right after my biggest break and went to school to learn.

45:36

Yeah.

That’s a unique decision.

I don’t think I could have make made that decision.

Don’t have been like, oh, yeah, let’s not.

Yeah, devil has this it’s a fork.

The road where an agent might say you just got, you know, you just played Woody Allen, Diane Keaton son.

You’re going to leave town.

Yeah, I was like, yeah.

45:52

What am I was?

I was wide-eyed.

I was like, how am I gonna make movies and Was northwestern?

Just heaven was in the most.

Wonderful question was great.

Yeah, I really liked.

It was cold.

It was too cold for me.

Okay.

Not to sound like a cranky Jew but I don’t like cold weather and you know that I took the tour in the spring big mistake.

46:09

Gorgeous God Evanston in the spring.

If you want to go to a beautiful place, go to Lake, Michigan.

Yeah.

Yes, and then you know, yeah, and it’s amazing.

I mean, that’s no belt, you know, I grew up in it and then and then I got there at my dad dropped me off.

And he took me to Eddie Bauer and they said, you know, these coats are rated to - 65.

46:28

Why would anyone need a code related to - 65?

Yeah, it’s the fucking window.

It was horrible.

I mean, no, at the school.

I had a great time, and I did jewelry made amazing friends.

And I fell in love for the first time and I made a lot of student films.

And I was it was Heaven.

I was in, I was, I had a Had an acting teacher that changed my life and what was your summer camp experience, but it lasted for years.

46:49

I would imagine.

Yeah.

Yes, except more straight boys to compete with our bomber.

Yeah, the rain.

They were like, there’s athletes and stuff.

Well, not well.

Yeah, I didn’t see them at Northwestern.

Probably.

Not too.

Yeah, there was only so they have like, a good rowing team.

Surely had a handsome.

Rowing team.

Yeah, that’s super strap deltoid.

47:05

They do those things with a crew group, like yogurt in the Facebook movie.

Yeah, Rob Lowe.

Throwing.

Yes, I fucking love it.

He’s had sex with his friends mother.

Yes.

What’s that movie?

Love that movie.

47:21

That really hit home from catching up to maybe one of you guys can Google.

It Monica fact checks the whole episode and we do it live.

So everything you say that’s erroneous.

We will expose you and mostly it’s just me.

So she’ll go back to the office and go down the wrong.

Yeah, just go you guys talk.

What’s the call Fox forever?

47:37

Yes.

That was what my sister.

A Loves movies and those 80s movies and she would have VH.

She would have all her VHS.

Labeled and they were, you know, all the gold standard, Sixteen Candles, Weird Science, you know pretty and pink everything I use on the pantheon, you know, but Oxford Blues was in the rotation.

47:54

I always saw Rob Lowe rowing and banging.

That might, they’ll be mixing up the story line between that and what it was in a movie called class.

And that’s where he had sex with.

Oh, you’re right in the elevator.

Yeah.

Can you look in fact check that run?

What movie does Rob Lowe bang.

48:10

Someone’s Mom in an elevator?

Yeah, which, at my age.

I was like this.

Is a great fantasy.

Do you remember seeing the first movie?

We were like, I should not be watching this and I’m feeling things in my loins for the first time.

I can tell you two things, one.

48:26

My grandfather took me to 10 when it came out and I was five.

He also took me to Scarface when I was like 6 and they cut a guy up in the fucking shower with a chains on.

I was like, oh my goodness humans, behave this way, like the world got so scary for me.

But the thing that I will say that, as funny as his, my dad had one poor now, Insatiable and my brother who is five years older than me, he would watch it regularly when my dad was out of the house and I would come downstairs.

48:51

And I would see this porno at like 10 years old and it looks like a homicide tonight.

It was so scary and weird.

It look like that.

They were killing somebody and that’s my argument for like you don’t have to worry too much about kids.

Like when they come online, they come online until they do.

49:07

It’s just the grossest weirdest thing.

I remember a babysitter taking us to see Revenge of the Nerds.

Oh sure.

And she was a Teufel babysitter.

Of course, I always think of this story.

No, no really what I think she was really beautiful period but also I the time thought she was a month before going to run.

49:25

So we go to see Rena standards and that scene where he has sex in the fun house with Betty wearing them the the Darth Vader mask.

Yeah, and they’re saying like we’ve got ma for something like that, right?

He says something like all those jocks think about a sports but all us nerds think about is sex or something like that their secret weapon.

49:44

Because he has this.

Darth Vader mask on.

Betty.

I think her name was Betty.

She didn’t know that.

She thought she was having sex with her handsome jock again today, that movie comes out.

All right, dude, they were mentioning the other day.

How wrong Revenge of the Nerds?

50:00

Has they put it?

He’s hidden cameras, in the sorority house, and they’re all sitting around all day.

Watching the sorority girls shower.

I mean, we have ma for we have Beaver, whatever the fuck they say.

Yeah.

I think it’s time for a re-examination of Revenge of the Nerds and just the notion.

Yeah.

Yeah, that they tricked the girl who thought she was fucking The Jock, and then we’re all like, yeah, you did it.

50:19

She deserves it.

Here’s the best parts.

I felt.

So, I felt horny horny.

Yeah.

I really, let’s call it.

What it was.

It’s one of the first times in my life.

I was like, oh my God, what are these feelings?

Yeah, and in all frogs and purposes, in my intense verbs, in my mind.

50:36

I was on a date.

Sure, of course, you with this beautiful, blonde babysitter.

So, we go into like a Rite Aid or CVS next.

Movie theater after the movie and I remember thinking I need to find something in the store that will impress her.

Sure.

This is what I want.

50:52

Uh-huh.

That’s your manly.

Exactly like a razor or something.

Ugly head to the hardware.

I’ll oh, and I remember I’ll never forget as long as I live.

There was a battery.

It was like, I was like, not I know exactly what you’re talking.

51:09

It wasn’t used to sell them a lot.

They were like Lantern batteries, right?

Yep.

Brings on the top.

Exactly out.

Smaller than a car battery are everywhere.

Back then.

Yeah, so I see that in my brain.

I have no idea what it was course not and I can she comes because what he’s doing in the Harbour line.

We have to go.

51:25

What are you doing?

I go see this.

And this is all because I think this is going to make her go, you know what age restrictions be gone.

Yes.

I am an.

This is a man.

I’m with absolutely.

I think this is.