0:00

Hi, welcome to the armchair expert.

Today is a big tree by popular demand and just my own selfish desires.

Lauren G going to join us.

She is, I guess I’ll say I’m her TV.

Brother not she’s my TV sister.

I should give her the status position.

0:16

As it’s well deserved.

She probably was most known from Gilmore Girls, you know, her from there.

She’s Lorelei my brothers in love with her.

I think to this day.

He still is in love with her and we spent six glorious.

Ears together on Parenthood, in addition, to her being an amazing actress.

0:33

She is also a Thrice time, published author.

I believe, in her current book is called Monica in conclusion.

Don’t worry about it.

And when does that come out today?

Today in conclusion?

Don’t worry about, it comes out today.

0:49

So Sprint out to your Barnes & Noble, amazon.com.

You don’t have to Sprint Amazon, but you know what?

We’re saying, a computer, check this book out.

She’s a hell of a writer.

She’s just All around a extremely intelligent thoughtful.

1:05

Wonderful woman that I am grateful to know and I hope you enjoy it.

He’s in our chance.

1:26

I hope you didn’t have anybody else because I know no, well, we did, but we can easily cancel that good.

But yes, welcome to my attic and my construction zone.

I love it.

Yeah, it kind of makes me think of like movies where it’s set in Vietnam, but They go into the generals tent and there’s like candles lit and kind of nice.

1:45

I feel like we’re in this little Oasis among a lot of pounding and Drilling and I mean I’ve been there, so I just I completely relate to the construction situation.

Oh, this is what I dreaded ha, ha.

I look so bad.

You look so beautiful as you always do.

2:01

There’s a man, you could be in asleep.

Didn’t you?

Could be in his sleeping bag and your personality would be bursting.

I essentially Jim asleep on the way to the I’m on the Way to the barbershop.

Yeah, you’re getting here.

Did you’re getting your hair done?

Yeah, what’s that process?

2:17

Like it’s like it’s as it is.

It’s so many people.

It’s so many hours to make me look exactly the same.

No, I have a colorist.

Whoo.

Whoo, I love named Sean Metcalfe and but I just to get brown, they take you to platinum, then build you back up.

2:33

That’s exactly, right.

It’s a lot of, you know, wigger e, uh-huh.

No, it just takes a long time and I have to do it.

And what is a long time?

H it is and that’s like without this is.

I hope can we just talk about hair the?

Yeah, absolutely.

Well, that’s one of the main focuses.

2:49

Okay.

It was totally lacking in the marketplace.

Yes there bro.

True.

Although now that I say that I have to assume that Chaz whatever has a podcast for guys who only does because he’s got Billboards everywhere.

It’s Dean Jazz.

3:05

I run into, he doesn’t know me but I ran into Jeff.

What’s his name?

Who I love, who does that show?

The The Flipping Out Show.

Okay.

What’s his name?

I don’t know.

Jeff Jeff Bridges.

Yes, Jeff Bridges.

So Jeff, Jeff Bezos.

3:22

Yes.

Yes, my getting close.

Um, okay, his last name.

Okay, but he has no, he’s not friends with Chaz Dean.

As he jazzed.

He’s like a recurring character on this show because we is Jeffrey, does his studio.

And then for one reason, or another, like once one burned down once, there was a flood like I it’s almost like Riddled with, they’re looking for reasons to have Chaz Dean back on the show.

3:45

So you just keeps redo.

I think he moved once like he’s at he’s always on the show.

Okay.

So Chaz Dean if you don’t know, he makes a hair product when yeah, that what it is, huh?

And I don’t know if that’s popular Countrywide.

What is it?

They sell it on QVC and stuff.

It’s like a non lathering shampoo, right?

4:03

It’s a great product.

Yeah.

This is nothing to say anything about the product right now.

Well, know what we did is we just got rid of her being a sponsor, because we’re talking so much.

Much about Chaz.

Dean was part of sponsor.

No, but we just got rid of that option.

Everyone’s a possible but backed back to Chaz Dean.

4:19

He has a lot of billboards here in Los Angeles that just has his face on it.

Yeah.

It looks like me and Seth Green had a child.

Wow, that’s weird.

True.

He weirdly is like a cross pollination.

I’m Seth Green and I but you’re a cross-pollination of so many things people Zach browse to ever.

4:37

Yeah.

And name like a stud.

All right, mind would be but yeah.

That is true.

Yeah, it is possible.

That’s it.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I’ll take it’s nice.

Yeah.

Big dose of creative.

And yeah, and legendary sex symbol status.

4:52

Sure.

Sure.

Wait.

Real quick.

Justine.

It’s more.

The Billboards are more than just his face.

He’s you see his body and he’s wearing two vests or two ties, couple of.

Yeah.

It’s kind of like a riddle when you look at it at high speed, you gotta think, like, what was he wearing?

5:11

The two of you had two glasses on I think no head to neck ties.

But only in Los Angeles.

Is there a possibility that your trainer your hair person may in your lifetime become more famous than you.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I’ve been bumped by makeup artists who are just two.

5:27

Yes, two famous.

Yeah, dude.

I didn’t mean that kind of know.

Yeah, the guy who I bought Kristen’s engagement ring off of is now that he’s a national celebrity and I think he’s a spokesman for like, Kay, Jewelers of the Neil Lane.

Oh, yeah.

Do you know him?

Well, I don’t knows.

5:42

No, I don’t know him personally, but that’s not like the same thing.

He was already.

He was like a famous Jeweler.

Yeah, but when he was pulled a guy over, I met him.

Mine RVs, there’s RVs on Sunset, unlike Rodeo Drive.

5:58

He’s feeling like a very Swank, a great.

Yeah.

I wasn’t meaning to imply.

I discovered, he certainly was an existing Beverly Hills, right?

Yes.

Fancy-pants do now he has a now he’s yeah.

Now he’s name.

Nationwide.

Yeah, so are you okay, so I guess I’m keeping Pace with Neil Lane.

6:16

Yeah, I’m gonna shoot out with meal but he’s representing, you know, a Mall jewelry store now, right?

Yeah.

Is that I think so, I think, yeah.

I’ve only been doing it.

Yeah.

Their sponsor, every wish because look 8:00, but that’s the jingle, right?

6:33

Yes, Lauren.

What’s really fun about?

This is, I often have friends on and then I read about them and then there’s all the stuff that even in ten years.

Friends.

Yeah, I had no idea about and then it’s kind of fun for me.

Uh-huh.

One of them is that you’re born in Hawaii.

Correct?

6:48

This makes zero sense.

Yes, right, right.

Because I think of you as a Virginian, yes.

Well, I was mainly raised in Virginia, but the first couple of years were colorful, my dad took an aptitude test when he was in, maybe the first year of law school.

7:09

And the only language he’d ever taken was Latin.

And for some reason he like responded to a sort of thing on the on a bulletin board, which was test your aptitude to learn Vietnamese, very tonal, very complicated language and he took this test and scored very high and kind of put that together with.

7:27

I’m sure some feelings of don’t know if it’s guilt or, you know, the Vietnam War was going on.

At the time.

It was 1966.

It was the height of of everything and he was in school and married.

So he wasn’t going to be drafted, but I think he Compelled to help in some way.

7:44

So, he went to work for an organization called a ID, which is eight, Internationals and distress, which is an ID.

Yes, became a on the games, the games and leaves.

Yes.

It looks like he started an umbrella company herpes.

8:00

You gotta remember this was long before her body was discovered.

Yes.

So it was, well, that may be why they referred to it as a ID and not aid, but you went to the sunglass comp.

Mei, sickle cell anemia.

They were, they were the most fashionable sunglasses.

8:16

That reminds me for some reason of one of my favorite stories about Matthew Perry, which I can never tell properly.

But I did movie with Greg Kinnear about the guy who invented the intermittent windshield wiper.

Yes, right.

Quite our friend direct Flash of Genius at our friend directed Mark Abraham, who I love.

8:32

I had also done a movie with Matthew that year and we were both in Sundance.

So we did our pressed together and every time somebody would ask me about the movie about the Guy who invented the intermittent windshield wiper and then they’d say in Matthew.

You know, what are you working on?

He’s like, it’s so weird because I’m working on, then, you know, that little hole on this is that you put your shoe lace through on a shoe.

8:52

That’s the guy who invented and like, throughout the day.

He just kept making up like more random things.

A more boring.

Yes, that’s biopic first human to every young, but it’s one of those things that it was.

It’s so particular to his sense of humor, but like, I must think of it like, once a week, I laughed so hard.

9:11

Hard.

And that’s what sickle cell and that’s his superpower.

So anyway, my dad went to Vietnam, but on his way.

He had a three month intensive Language, School in Honolulu, Hawaii because the Navy was doing, is that why?

9:28

Because there’s a navy base there, obviously, right.

Pearl Harbor.

Hi there in particular.

Wasn’t, you know, a IDs or military-related though?

Well, the idea is an offshoot of the CIA which over the years I know.

And there were some embedded spies, so which is another thing that to me is hilarious.

9:48

Because my father is well known for like putting like cameras and coffee mugs, and like, glasses on top of the car and like driving away.

And like we have never, I never owned a house key because everybody lost their keys all the time.

So we just ended up, we’d leave the cars, open weave, right door open.

10:05

So the idea that like, but it’s he would have been any crazy like as a sitcom.

Well, guy in America is also their top spot by the way, sold.

Yeah, I’m here.

So, that’s why I was born in Hawaii, but I was only there for three weeks and then, my dad left for Vietnam and my mom and I went back to Japan, which is where she had lived for many many years.

10:32

Her parents were missionaries.

Her parent’s permission.

Sounds like it’s out of a, yeah, 18th century story.

But yeah, it doesn’t sound possible.

They were pioneers.

Ears, you know.

And there weren’t many people trying to convert the Japanese into being Southern Baptist.

10:50

It’s so weird.

I know, seems so and it didn’t totally catch a bunch.

But uh, but my, my grandparents did start at a church that still exists in Sendai Japan where they in any way related to the military because there was also all these people that stayed there after WWII, right?

11:05

There’s a huge right, but no, that was just part of the Baptist Church Outreach, Mike.

Parents were Southern Baptists.

Really?

Yeah, even though we were in Michigan, they still were Southern Baptist and my brother and I went the only thing that made it tolerable.

Is that occasionally you got to yell.

11:22

Amen.

Right?

Right.

It’s always very delayed or wait for a few adults to do it.

And I, my brother and I were doing the, my puppet Bob would like pinch us really hard thing, because once we started doing man’s, I’m almost any presentations warranted mmm-mmm-mmm.

Well, I will mainly grew up with my dad who was raised Catholic and my dad.

11:41

He’s like the quietest man and the Catholic Church.

You do not yell.

Amen.

So then I’d go and you know, my grandfather was also a pretty mellow guy except when he was up reaching and then fire and brimstone the spirit.

And so you never spoke in tongues.

11:57

Did he know?

He didn’t know.

I know so close.

I’m looking for one degree of separation from someone who speaks in tongue.

Oh, I’m sure you couldn’t find them.

You would have been about anymore.

It’s just not as popular as you want.

And I hate that is relegated only to the church.

I would love to be at I got a surprise for our anniversary.

12:13

I just read this back to you.

That’s a big man with extra sauce, extra cheese.

I do love you.

Hang on.

I’m on the hill, though.

What’s the concept behind speaking in tongues again?

There?

The Lord is speaking through.

You can I don’t know.

Okay, you know nothing about it, but luckily, Monica fact checks us because invariably all spout, a bunch of data that I learned 20 years ago.

12:34

It’s probably not correct, right?

And then she will data, are you spouting?

So just to be around I’ll be nailing you with like distance between In here in the sun. 93 million miles here, and the moon $880 of my nose all that stuff.

Yeah, he and I often like to get in just a number off.

12:50

Yeah, we’ll just he says a number and I respond with another number but I do believe it is that the Lord is speaking through you.

I mean, of course, he’s he doesn’t speak English.

She doesn’t want to be.

So obvious is want to tip his hand, to who he likes the most.

I mean, I think it would be English, right?

Just given the tradition of it, but it’s a nun’s nonsensical language left to us to decipher.

13:11

Its Powerful.

Yeah, we already have that father, your, I bet your father would have tested really high phonetic.

Yes, exactly.

Right.

Tongs.

That part of the story in my own life has always been glossed over, like, what first of all, what is that test that tests your ability to learn to speak Vietnamese without knowing it.

13:29

Yeah, like I guess there’s noises that they make.

They have a I don’t remember being an oral test, but I went I’ve been to Vietnam with my Dad.

We did a bike trip there and he can still speak eats.

He can’t the kids.

Yeah, yeah.

And people are shocked and what’s interesting is, I knew you had gone on that trip with your father because you did it in the Hiatus of one of our Seasons, like between four and five or something.

13:50

Yeah, what was he doing there?

With his new Vietnamese?

So they might not even pronounce that word that Kristen always gets on me.

I had a something right?

Say it again, Vietnamese.

I’m adding a mod.

That’s International coffee.

14:07

Okay, Vietnamese Viet money.

No, n-not, an M Viet mayonnaise.

I get it.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah, it’s great.

Clearly.

I would have tested very pretty eyes.

They’re not sent me.

14:23

It was, they had supplies.

They would help.

People rebuild, Peace Corps adjacent.

But this is part of our trip.

We, you know, there was someone who was sitting in a park bench who probably just because we were Caucasian people and that was an unusual sight set yelled something.

14:41

But I so wanted some somebody to walk up to him and be like, Larry, you helped me that day, you know, I wanted to like, movie version your hand horse.

Yeah, and it was not that, but it was, it was just couldn’t even put paid someone on this.

I probably couldn’t really just a really great about.

14:59

I just got up an hour earlier than him.

I know, I know the hotel and went downstairs with some known.

The difference.

You have been like, yeah, Phil.

I thought, of course, I remember.

Yes, you know.

And how long was he there?

He was there for me.

And a half.

So that was the first hour you guys my life.

15:14

Yes, mind bog.

It is, you know, they were so young when they got married.

They were 22 and oh, yeah, I think the whole thing was a little bit of improv, advised situation.

So I was with my grandmother, my mom, your mom’s mom.

15:29

Yes, and that’s why she probably went to Japan because she wanted some help.

That’s right, right.

And so yeah, I lived for the first year and a half of my life in Tokyo and then my fear, of course, you have no memory of her.

Right.

I feel like I do but it’s that thing where there are a few pictures of me, exact time.

15:46

And I maybe think, and I do remember because they had a kind of a nanny to the kids sato-san, and I remember that presence.

I remember this that person taking care of me.

So I feel like I have some sense of that time.

Yeah, and then you guys all meet back up.

16:02

Yeah, Virginia.

Is that what happens?

Then my father came to Japan and we they they took a ship back.

Through Russia.

So what I’m very confused about just geographically and again, this is romano goal coming but my understanding of where Japan is and where Moscow is?

16:20

I have no idea how much goes on the way back.

I don’t really either.

Thank you guys.

Take a train the Trans-Siberian railroad to Moscow because it’s very far east.

I really, I think maybe they were.

They were like, we’re, you know, reunited, let’s sail around the world.

16:37

I’m also I know that I got you but let’s rekindle this romancer.

Fucking Soviet.

Mosca.

Looks like a chicken pox on the boat.

And there are there are lots of stories of them going to dinner and stuff like the boat.

And I was like, wait, I had like by myself, you know, and in the sleeping it off there were like she’s probably fine.

16:58

It’s the 60s.

She’ll be okay.

Yeah.

She’s a long nap.

That’ll take care of it, but it is curious, right?

Because I accumulate all these stories, as you do of mob, what things my parents say, when I was young and they made, Perfect sense.

Until now.

I’m now then rare age where I’m not older than them and then they start to make zero sense to me and that’s got to be one of them, but I would imagine.

17:20

It’s very peculiar for my point of view that you would take a year and a half off as newlyweds, the baby, right?

So what do you think that was at all the clue as to what their relationship was?

Like at that time?

Probably I think it was also and I mean this in the most kind way, I think my dad was just deeply freaked out.

17:40

Fuck.

Yeah.

When you’re 22 in this is now.

Yeah, and we get closer and closer to exactly what that Decision was and, and, and sort of even how they came together.

My dad’s mother famously, when he came home and said, you know, I’m getting married.

17:59

She said, but Larry, you’ve never even had a girlfriend.

Like what do you like?

He was, so he played Sports, he extremely smart, and, and also my mother’s a very special person.

And, you know, he always says about her, like, just one in a million, you know, he’d never met anybody like her.

18:14

And I think it just knocked him over and in, in any number of ways, and then, yeah.

It.

By the time he came back.

She was ready to leave, right?

Yeah.

I mean they were they weren’t together for very long and that was in Virginia.

You really are trying to get us to Virginia because knowledge in excited, such an exotic Place.

18:32

Why would I want to talk about Japan or Russia or Vietnam?

When I could be talking about Virginia?

So my mother fell off the boat and had to be right?

Yeah, but I’m assuming she made it to Virginia, right?

We don’t need to know about the helicopter rescue or anything wheel.

18:48

If the first in, okay, so the house I remember was in Southampton in Long Island, cause my dad’s parents were in Lyle, and then I think they split up.

And then we lived on a houseboat, in the Virgin Islands.

My goodness.

This is just one step away from Swiss Family Robinson inordinate amount of boats.

19:05

I remember living on the houseboat because I remember the feeling of being seasick like it was it was a docked boat.

Kind of like we’re Crosby.

Yeah.

I should have called your dad.

Search.

Although I have to Imagine The Bachelor experience on a houseboat, is drastically different than new family on a houseboat that Wells.

19:26

Like, yeah, he’s not he’s got, we had a tiny boat and he has however old I was, you know, it’s not anything bad ball in.

Yeah.

All the time.

I don’t remember him ever worried about though.

Thats a liberating for him.

We live on land and I’m not on the pool is pretty self-sufficient.

19:44

I’m sure after the whole chicken pox thing.

I’m sure they’re like, she’s fine.

But I would get picked up for day care or school, or nursery school, or whatever in a motorboat in like a little, this is so internet, crazy.

And then we kind of bounced around, we lived in Manhattan and then my grandparents.

20:03

Now, we’re back in the States and we’re living in DC.

And I think partially because of that and partially, because you got a job working on Capitol Hill.

That’s when we move.

20:28

Virginia.

They tune armchair expert.

If you dare.

But at five.

20:44

Am I right?

Five?

Yeah, your mom and dad.

Get divorced.

Yeah.

She moves to England.

Write what you again from my perspective.

Now, that’s a crazy Choice.

Yeah.

I feel it was filled with my mom.

She was Kind of in the wrong time.

Do you know what I mean?

20:59

Like she was not quite as traditional as someone who had grown up in the 50s because she had all this exotic life experience and she spoke a foreign language she traveled and, you know, she still had enough traditional sense that she wanted to get married and then I think got there and was like, wait a minute.

21:21

I don’t even know who I am, or what I want to do.

So, initially, she was an art school in New York.

Then she had dabbled tried to, you know, get cast In Summer Stock, you know, she had a sort of interest in acting but not she kind of didn’t really stick with write anything too much.

21:40

And then, and then she and I’m not sure if this was the first thing that brought her there, but she wasn’t in a series of pop bands.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

She was a backup singer with her best buddy in a band called goddess.

Okay, and this is now England in the 80s and I do have very strong memories of going to visit her during that time when she was trying to get this music career going and I went with her to a couple of rehearsals and meetings and it was it was very daunting.

22:10

It was It was kind of scary to say how interesting that you would have witnessed that and then still chose to put yourself in that situation where you know Glee watching her go through what she went through.

Gave me a healthy suspicion.

22:25

I guess.

About people in that business.

I remember sitting in on a meeting with her and I just, I have for whatever reason.

I remember thinking this guy is lying.

He’s just this is not a truthful person.

Yeah, and and she was more gullible and more hopeful and you can be very much blinded, right now, your dream.

22:42

And yes, start ignoring some pretty big.

Sorry.

Always.

She had such a kind of if you dream it, it will come kind of vision.

And so I always believed for her that it would this that some magical because she was incredibly stunning like in a way that even as a teenager men are whistling on the street at her.

23:07

You know what I mean?

Like, I’m the teenager she had a kind of she carried herself in this incredibly elegant way and she was just this very striking person.

So that combined with her intelligence and her kind of vision for herself.

I just Always thought, just, I thought her dreams will come true, right?

23:24

Because she has all the things she has everything required of that.

Did she do like Course in Miracles or knows things?

No.

No, she was much more.

She’s a funny combination of.

She’s very intellectual but then, I guess maybe had a sense.

It was her interpretation of all the religions, she’d grown up with you.

23:41

I think was just this.

There was a, you know, she didn’t quite Embrace what had been taught to her.

But I think she did believe in something.

Yeah, and it was a very Painful on many levels, realization when she passed away without any of those things coming.

23:58

True.

And it was a real shock to me and it and it and it’s served.

I mean I already was sort of starting to work before that, but I have never believed if you dream it will come.

Yeah, but I mean you hustle on work for everything.

We have that in common.

Mmm.

Yeah.

24:13

I hear a lot of actors on, you know, in interviews saying that they just knew what would happen or whatever.

Not I’m virtually the opposite.

I’m like it won’t happen.

Happen.

But I’m going to do all the steps required.

So I have no regrets, right?

But suffice to say, you had a very I think we had a kind of a similar, I, you know, my dad left when I was three.

24:31

He didn’t move to England, but he moved into a bar virtually and then he died very young at 62.

And I’ve had this whole full circle feeling about him, you know, I can explain a lot of my isms based on him.

Yet.

I’ve come to love him.

24:47

I give him too much blame than he deserves, like, it’s all It’s all a messy mix.

I love them, but it was definitely like my big relationship to fix.

And confront my whole life.

Is that is that what your mother and yours was?

25:03

I mean, you take it personally when she left England to me, that feels like I did.

I’m sure I did, I don’t remember that necessarily, but as a young adult, I felt really clear that I probably was not going to get an answer.

25:21

From her that would fix or change anything.

And that what I wanted was for us to have as good a relationship as we possibly could and that meant, I had to readjust right now.

So we’re you the adult, and the relationship that sounds like the adult kind of response to it.

25:39

Not, well, I did go through a time and I went through a couple of years, when we really didn’t speak, after a couple years in college.

I just didn’t see her.

And didn’t didn’t really speak to her in my family.

People don’t raise their voices.

It’s really and never confrontation was never a fight that was never a you Booth, you know, there’s never any of that.

25:57

It’s I just kind of took a few years.

I feel like to figure out where I was your super close to your dad, right?

I’m super close to my dad.

Some of my stuff was just I’m so in love with my mother.

Yeah, that however, Matt I was about my own personal stake in it.

26:15

I really was mad at him for her, you know, like she was a single mother raising us and he was In participating in a way, I thought he should and financially or TimeWise.

So I was just so mad that he could have treated this woman was my number one.

Now.

Yes, it wasn’t till later.

26:31

I started owning my own, like, whoa.

Yeah.

Now I’m mad about me, you know.

Well, my mom also was diagnosed with cancer.

Pretty young the first time when she was around 50 breast cancer.

Mmm, and she had had my half sister who’s 15 years younger than I am.

26:51

And that was like an instant bond.

So, my trips became less about anything except being friends with my sister.

Taking care of her when she was really little, and my mother’s first diagnosed with cancer.

My sister kind of turned to me and started getting, you know, sent to spend the summer with me or, you know, hang out.

27:11

Come visit me at work or something.

And that also, I think made the perspective shift, you know, there was not going to be any whole bunch of time to work this.

Us out and it just sort of adjusted everything.

How often were you going to see her?

Like, once a year, once a year twice a year, maybe.

27:28

And also, my dad was always really respectful of her.

They always were friends.

They really, you know, you could see Until the End occasionally is didn’t happen very often.

But the three of us would go to dinner, they couldn’t stop talking to one another.

27:43

They had so much to say and yeah.

So many common interests and books.

They’re taught, you know, that they were just there were such electricity.

Yeah, intellectually, so she did you ever think, like, oh, wow, had these people met at third?

Yes, for sure.

You could have really been out for sure.

27:59

Yeah.

I just think they were overwhelmed.

She could probably have found what she wanted to do with her life within within that relationship with in being a mom.

I just, she didn’t think so.

Yeah.

I was 38 when I had Lincoln and we have helped, we have money.

28:16

We don’t have to worry about that kind of stuff and it is still almost.

Yeah.

Push you to the breaking point.

I just can’t imagine being 20.

So yeah, again, having kids and looking back.

It’s like, well, what the fuck did I expect?

Of my 24-year old?

Dad who now had two kids, and a wife, and all this stuff.

28:32

So I also think it’s and I don’t know where this came from, but I just don’t think it.

Does anyone any good to to live in the poor me, you know, yeah.

I just really don’t believe in that.

And I say that humbly because far worse circumstances have, you know happened?

28:51

Two people, but I always had a very independent like, you know, you’re not gonna be defined by.

That’s right.

Yeah.

And yeah, and I think that’s the most pragmatic and healthy way to do it at the same time.

I do think as you become an adult and you find yourself in patterns, which I certainly found myself, in patterns, both with relationships and all kinds of things.

29:13

At that point.

It’s useful to go like, well, why is it?

What is it?

I’m trying to heal myself of it is relevant.

Want to find out the explanation.

It’s inescapable.

You can’t possibly.

Oh, no, I’m not saying, I like made a decision to be neutral or happy about it.

29:31

Yeah, and that it never affected anything.

It, affected everything.

I’ve said, there’s a bunch on here.

I don’t know why but it, but I guess.

Yeah, it’s really, it’s really key to recognize the difference between an explanation and an excuse.

So I am interested in the explanation of how my childhood is, you know, created all these patterns, or habits.

29:50

I’m not interested in it.

In an excuse for, why behave this way.

And I do think people think other people are making an excuse when, sometimes they’re not there, just recognizing.

Oh, like me.

I have a fucking man complex.

I do anything.

I think that will make me a man, a ride wheelies on shit.

30:05

I’ll jump off a building.

I’ll fight a guy, whatever it is because ultimately, I’m just waiting for my dad to show up and go like God damn son.

Yeah, you’re a man.

Yeah.

You’re a man’s man.

Yeah, and I in search of that from other men.

My peers.

Yes.

To give me that.

But at a certain point, yeah, I have to go.

30:22

Okay, cool.

You have that that issue but it is time to stop jumping off buildings.

You know, I was never going to be some of the things she just naturally.

Was she had all this I’m sure sounds.

So false coming from like an actor, you know, but I don’t understand clothes.

30:43

Like I really, I really don’t.

I and I finally just had to be like, I’m not my mother.

I just, I don’t have a great sense of She just had a sort of femininity.

Yeah, that just not me.

Yeah, and it’s like, your man stuff, you know, I’ve tried to be like real put together a kind of elegant, and effortlessly blue.

31:04

Whatever it is, even if I’m defining Myself by what I’m not in compared to her, but isn’t it interesting?

So so here’s someone that sounds like it would have probably been maybe even a little easier for her to accomplish those goals.

But if there’s any quality you have that I’ve noticed over the years.

31:21

Ears.

Is that you finish it?

You start.

Hmm.

And that in itself is a quality that’s worth more than anything.

Weirdly.

Mmm, because had you look like, let’s say her and we’re just effortlessly elegant and then had your quality to finish what you start, you know, God knows what that is, but you went to school, you finish school, you went, and you got a master’s degree, you write books, that that weirdly right is the most.

31:51

Vital thing that you could have, but it’s sad to, or in a way because those are some goals.

She had, you know, that she was never.

She wrote.

There’s just so many, you know, things she wanted to do that.

She didn’t get to do and so I’m sure that is a driving force, right?

32:09

Yeah.

Kind living out her dreams in a weird way.

Do you think in any way psychologically you knew your mother had a flair for this.

Did you anyway think?

Oh, I’ll start performing as a kid and that’s something that that she’ll be interested in me for you.

Think at all your interest in acting and Performing was started by this desire to be noticed by her.

32:29

I don’t know.

It didn’t necessarily seem like a reality because I don’t know that she ever saw me in anything.

She wasn’t around enough to have that fantasy, you know, she would so far away.

32:45

And so maybe just a genetic bug.

You were pretty yes.

Yes.

Want to do that.

Well, and when she was growing up, one of the oldest of Four Sisters, there is a kind of celebrity to being the missionary kid in these.

Areas, where just by virtue of these, for gorgeous girls, like they were celebrities.

33:07

One of her sisters was had a pop hit in the 80s, you know, it was in the family.

So I didn’t equate that what they did was so kind of glamorous and like, my Aunt Katie, you know, who was the singer had like, platinum, blond hair and she, you know, I was at her video, shoot, you know, but of course, that’s that gave me permission in a way to even imagine it being possible, but my His dream was like to be in the rep company of Arena Stage in Washington and maybe because what I saw of success, I just did air quotes success looked so funny to me.

33:40

So I thought, oh no, I, you know, yeah, I won’t do that.

I’ll be like a real actor, you know, right.

Right.

You weren’t you.

You were getting into it for what you deem.

The right reason.

Not just for attention.

It was for the out of those things.

They say it was I’d had no choice.

33:56

It was just the thing.

I was completely drawn to it was not Not result oriented in the beginning at all.

And, and when I was growing up, I’m a little older than you.

We didn’t have those examples.

There were no, there were no Kardashians.

There were no, do you think I grew up with the Kardashian?

I’m so flattered right now.

34:13

I just mean, they’re like, my go-to example.

He like came out with famous kid.

Yeah.

I mean, I remember sitting in my college dorm when like MTV started out.

I mean like we didn’t have models in the same way kids the kids today, huh?

34:29

Yeah.

There was no reality shows.

There was no YouTube right now.

Yeah, and there’s three channels on TV.

So yeah, odds of you getting on.

I wanted to be like Fonzie, you know, I wasn’t there was that, like another actress I was trying to be, you know, to imagine Fonzie.

34:46

Nowadays would have a clothing line is pretty much.

He would have a cologne on Zeke alone.

You’d have the leather jacket alive, life jackets, a line of motorcycles.

So you went to school.

You did really well in school.

Your dad is very bright and your From my experience, very bright and was college fund for you.

35:03

Well know, I went to acting school my first year and, and at NYU at NYU.

It’s very creepy, the facts that, you know, aha.

And I didn’t know, by the way.

I didn’t know any of them. 24 hours.

We’ve been friends for.

Exactly.

But yeah, Jimmy Kimmel murdered.

35:20

Three people.

I have no idea.

Why, you could see, tell I interviewed.

Yeah.

Was acquitted for a month triple homicide, but you went to NYU.

I went to acting school, my boyfriend, at the time was at Harvard.

I would go visit him and the contrast before, you guess where you boy crazy as a girl.

35:38

No guys.

I know, I had this one boyfriend off and on through most of high school and a little bit into college.

And were you attracted to your dad or your boyfriend’s, dad types?

Well, yeah, a little, I mean, in that, like my old, this old boyfriend.

35:58

I’m talking about and Peter met.

Met one time in San Francisco.

I was having lunch with Charlie.

My old boyfriend.

They they like walked up to one another and I remember I think Peter said this.

He goes.

Well, she likes tall white guys with backpacks.

36:16

It, did he have hiking shoes.

Yes.

And my God, wait, he just means pale.

They’re both very pale.

It’s not you you ugly.

But, but, you know, they were both.

They’re both really brainy.

Charlie, was the, you know, our Class president and and a very creative and interesting guy.

36:36

And but he was my friend for a long time.

I was the lie, a bridge person between the cool girls and the geeky guys were it not for me.

They would never have met commingle.

But and I was only on the outside of cool girls.

Like I was sort of just like they let me come along.

36:54

I was not one of the popular people but I had a couple friends in the in the group.

Of girls who were like fun and then and then all my guy friends are like from high school or crazy successful and, and were slightly less popular with the girls at the time.

37:12

Although those guys always do then exactly.

Well, they really do.

So, I wouldn’t say necessarily boy crazy, but I definitely had this on again off.

Again, relationship with him for a while.

And and then I went to go visit him in school and what he was doing seemed like All to me what I was doing seemed abstract, you know, it was just stuff.

37:36

You were studying at NYU, because I was 17 when I went to college, because I had skipped a grade.

And so I was very young and I had never been in a conservatory type training program and, you know, you literally just like, do crazy.

Oh, yeah, Kristen went and my you and the stuff she tells me about I, it’s mind-blowing.

37:57

Yeah, you’re going Alexander technique.

You’re breathing in people’s mouths, right?

Like really long baby.

Yeah.

Well, if for some reason I crave that I just, I thought I don’t know that for years of this is going to, I just didn’t make sense.

38:13

So then I transferred to Barnard and I none of my credits transferred, but the thesis of all of this I want to say is I was I was driven by some ticking clock that actually does not exist, but I I was sure that if I didn’t do everything as quickly as I possibly could that I was going to fail and there’s whatever that anxiety, It’s a combination of anxiety and ambition because it’s not just it’s not just pure ambition.

38:42

There’s something in there.

That’s like whacked.

It’s fear-based.

Yeah, because I was in a panic all the time and I thought I needed to finish school on time.

Right?

I wrote about this a little bit in my book that, you know, I had this really made up of Finish Line.

38:58

And so I stayed it was so easy to fail in life.

Also, the idea that one year older and it did all be behind.

You never make 26 would know if you gotta do it by 25.

Yeah, just not true.

I had a similar.

I don’t know where it came from.

39:14

Yeah, like I you, you end up finding people write that.

Like I walked around knowing s.e.

Hinton was 14 when she wrote Outsiders, are her old.

She was crazy young and that’s something.

Now on, I’m 18.

I feel like I’m four years behind rice, arbitrary.

39:29

Thing I learned.

Well, I had a friend in high school who was also interested in theater who some imagined competition I had with him.

All right, I was like, oh he did Summer Stock, I should do, I should have done some more.

So he got a commercial commercial.

39:44

I should have had something like as if we’re at all the same and he’s a guy anyway, but so they’re talking about rebooting Gilmore Girls with him is the way so yeah, I think it’s Ari again.

What?

So I wanted to cram these four years of school, basically in two, three, Years, which I did.

40:00

But I didn’t do well and it’s hilarious fun.

Right?

No, it wasn’t fun at all.

And now, they just invited Marty or sleep with people.

Are you gonna eat that or I was with Charlie for, like most of my freshman year.

I had a couple like, really ill-fated dates.

40:18

I guess it was a rough time in the 80s and in New York City like Plus at Barnard.

There’s there’s they had just started taking women at Columbia College for the ratios were really Off.

They were in your favor though.

No.

No, they had.

40:33

So there are three colleges.

There’s Barnard Columbia, and the School of Engineering.

There were far more women.

So Barnard is entire College of women.

So there were men had their pick basically.

Oh, wow.

It’s like the two straight guys, in Kristen’s musical theater program.

40:49

They just, they were like too tired to have sex and I just couldn’t keep up with the demand.

I’ve always for whatever reason, you know, I was a tomboy, I was raised by my My dad, I end up in these really girly situations.

You know, I rode horses as a kid.

41:06

That was my big sport.

There’s like one guy.

And and, you know, my whole horseback riding camp and then even Gilmore Girls was always such a funny, you know, thing to be kind of my big thing because it was, it is, I always appreciate the men who, you know, say that they have enjoyed it, but it’s female world’s if it was a female world and That’s who the craters female.

41:31

Yeah, right.

Yeah, and it’s a mother-daughter Story.

The boss.

You’re the fucking boss on Gilmore Girls, It’s a matriarchy, it is and and there’s, you know, perhaps some poetry.

I mean, I would get asked year after year after year.

And, you know, was this, your relationship with your mom?

41:48

And you know, what, kind of mom and I’m neither a mom nor had this relationship.

Right?

Right.

Yeah.

And and yet, I got to have that in fiction, you know, and, and I just always thought that was Interesting and then I ended up in this, you know, women’s college, which I couldn’t be more thankful for the experience.

42:06

But I all you know, most of my friends were guys and growing up like a dis was unlikely.

So, yeah, I dated a couple of couple of dudes.

Yeah.

Wasn’t anything.

You would write a steamy.

No.

Hmm, and then isn’t an acapella group also, not necessarily a guy magnet.

42:22

Yeah.

Well, that’s my I’ve never gone to see a female acapella group.

We were kind of cool, though.

We Were that’s well.

Hold on of the acapella of the female cappella groups.

42:38

We work as related to a little edgy.

Okay, we threw out condoms at our concert.

Oh, I guess, you know, that’s super cool.

And we did there.

Would you put one on a banana or anything?

No, we didn’t feel like we made macaroni necklaces.

Like it was just kind of kitschy.

42:54

I was a great time and anywhere you doing that purely for fun, or was that also some Um, how career-driven or this time clock motivated?

Was that something?

It was actually more my attempt to be social because I felt really isolated as a transfer student.

43:11

I didn’t know anyone.

I went to see this group and they were really cool and and, and I thought it was a Collegiate kind of thing to do.

Yeah, we didn’t really have surround the whooping cough, sore something with him poops, and that was an aspect.

43:29

The two, which is you travel to other schools to perform in school, you’d host schools.

I think after acting school.

I wanted to like be sitting on a quad playing hacky sack.

Like, I just wanted some, you know, poetic.

Yeah.

For is being and along.

Yes of college.

43:45

And and, you know, in the middle of Manhattan, there’s only so much you can get.

What was your, what was your relief from this?

For lack of a better word Taipei is.

Mmm.

Where were you finding solace?

At the time, I don’t really think I’d have wasn’t he is mine was drinking.

44:01

Like I had the same kind of drive that you do.

And this non-stop voice.

Telling me I’m failing.

I’m failing.

You’ve missed the boat, right?

And drinking was a great relief of that.

I did not have that.

I filled up all my time.

44:16

I think that was one of the things I did.

I so that there was no time to consider if this was a way to live because I struggled to Pay for school.

And I worked in the library.

I was a waitress.

I, you know, once I got out of school, I was a tutor.

44:35

I worked at Barney’s.

I was a cocktail waitress at The Improv.

I assured theater and movies.

The like I was on a hustle that like had no end and then in the summer, I’d go work at this Summer Stock where you went and Michigan.

I learned, I went how honored I don’t know because it was such listen to me.

44:55

When I tell you like, where I’m I’m from, I listen to you.

But this is a small town.

If I am, not were your pleasure of doing theater, Anna Virginia.

I would have told you about it all the time.

This was, you know, those odds, a of Michigan’s a fun place.

45:11

It’s a thousand degrees and not if you’re painting the fence, which is what we did every summer, that you’d like.

Mr. Miyagi was your coach?

It was, it was a, it’s such a smart business model because they, basically, you’re paying for the privilege to clean the bathrooms.

Oh my God.

45:27

Summer.

Ah, cried so and it’s non-union.

So you do these big auditions in New York, called the straw hats, and that’s how you got a summer job.

But a lot of these you started as an apprentice and the the carrot on the end of the stick was if you worked there enough Summers, you get your Equity card, you know Peter, you know, so you were you’re building up, you know, whatever credits are points are however, they do it and and also performing you would perform in the chorus of and once in a while, you’d got a part and answers.

45:57

This isn’t like filled with hanky-panky.

These are people are living a story where there is a ton of hanky-panky.

Yes.

I yeah, I was starting to do a little better by then.

Um, and yeah as you say those are warm summer nights and Miss Sharon.

46:13

Yeah, there’s not a lot to do.

I mean we would go go swimming.

No, it is like a landlocked.

I know we’d go to Target.

That’s what we do for fun.

Okay.

We’re, you know, Target was like knew at the time you were like, what you can get a tomato and a speaker.

Like, what is great, you know, great.

Place.

And, and that was really what we do is walk the aisles of Target.

46:31

I’ll see you in no time off because you’d work as a year, was this?

This was 93 like yeah to yeah to.

Well.

Yeah, I mean we could have goddamn bumped into one another.

I will still there you, but were you in advance and a hanky panky.

I don’t care what your program was back.

46:51

When I heard you were from Virginia.

Prepare to be wooed my God.

Can you see?

DC from the property.

I don’t think it’s stopped.

Almost literally until I mean, there was a little bit of a nice respite where I started working a little bit as an actor.

47:10

I finally started making some commercials and had some money for the first time.

Yeah, you booked commercials which drove me nuts, when I write about you, why I could?

Well, because I auditioned for commercials for eight years in an eight years.

I’ve looked to one of them was an industrial.

Buyout, really?

Just could not get one.

47:25

I must have driven you of your powers.

Indistinct, I don’t know.

Maybe today back then.

I felt like I was not good-looking enough for like the deodorant commercial.

And nor was I character.

Are you looking enough to be the guy who falls down leaving the bathroom?

47:40

I just felt like I was in this and maybe it was all in my head.

Maybe I just sucked.

I have no clue.

But suffice to say, I definitely did not book any of those and I went on thousands.

I would I got this memory.

I get when I close the door of my Honda Civic and I finally say you didn’t go there the When people ask me advice for an aspiring actor, I see buy a Honda Civic.

48:01

We’re not gonna make any money.

You don’t want this thing to break.

Yeah.

It’s gonna get you everywhere.

Yes, like my number one piece of advice.

That’s true.

But I would shut the door.

My Honda Civic and I would go Chili’s.

It’s always Friday and here, that’s how it was supposed to say.

And that was my life is saying it’s always Friday in here when I get in my car.

48:20

This is in my book that I say the hardest line ever written by A great writer is.

Welcome to Chili’s.

Yeah, because oh yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Because it’s and and for whatever reason, the entrance line for like Juilliard, I’ve gone back to my to my grad program at SMU and have them.

48:45

That’s the that’s my opener, but I do like a workshop because because it’s that sweet spot of authentic but salesperson, it’s so many things you’re trying to be all.

All at once.

Oh, yeah, you know, and so many of those auditions, I’d say like 10% of the auditions.

49:02

I went on, you were required to dance to no music because you had lines.

So you’d be just being this room dancing and then I would get shut the dance because it is going to be a fun commercial with dancing, you know, you’re either on a dance floor, you found out.

You got a raise and you got to do a happy dance again.

49:20

I just know, I would shut the door to my Honda and then I would have remembered the perfect answer should have done.

It was just so embarrassed.

I mean, it’s yes, it’s me Milli.

It’s incredible.

And also I think it’s really good training.

I mean and and no one was more shocked than I when I when I started booking these and in fact, I’d gone years without like no reason that I should believe this was going to work out.

49:45

Well, yeah, except I started getting some courses.

But but they’re you make a good enough living I chose that.

You no longer have to have seven.

Join made a rule, which was, I would continue because I had a way.

Dressing job still and that I was going to keep that job even though I was starting to put a little money in the bank and I technically, you know, maybe for a few months, didn’t have to be working every day until something came up that forced me to quit my day job and which is funny enough.

50:15

I think the opposite of like the secret and all these self-help books, which is you gotta close that door before you came, you know?

Yeah, but you did the opposite and it still work.

So That in your pipe and suck on it.

It’s probably part of that anxiety for think sense of Monica has this.

50:35

I have this and I think you have this, which is you have this fear also that if you tip into a certain lack of humility, yeah, you’ll get nothing up from the world, right as well.

Right?

So like Monica will Monica, by the way, books, every fucking commercial addition.

50:51

She goes on.

It’s hot.

I’m so happy for and I’m so jealous of it’s crazy.

It’s like, it’s a A legit percentage, and then they’ll be one where she it’s in.

Santa Monica, at 5 p.m.

Something.

She knows.

She’s not going to get in.

She tells herself.

If I don’t drive there.

51:07

I’ll never booked one again, right?

Of course is Hui, but you do it, right.

There’s some bargaining happening.

Yeah, the universe a little bit.

When.

Yeah, when you’re a freelancer of any kind, you have to do that.

You have to make up your own structure, in your own code of conduct because who else is going to do it for you.

51:24

And and you might as well listen to People who hung onto reality longer than the ones who are like, believe in yourself, you know, and that’s probably an in reaction to some of my mom’s stuff too.

But there was a friend of mine has a her son is out here if she only stopped, no, prettiman has begun who just came out here to, you know, to try to be an actor and like, you know, send me a text after a couple months like, you know, how long, you know, how do I know kind of thing?

51:52

Like, when is it going to happen?

And I was like, dude, you got years ahead?

Like yeah, it can be year.

Roars, you know?

And so you kind of have to Be Your Own Boss.

You want to steal my sentence, I give to family members.

Yes.

What.

And I do believe in this because it was my Mantra, which is, you know, look if this is something that he’d be happier failing at, then he would be succeeding at something else.

52:12

And this is the job for him.

And I would think that occasionally when I was like, at least I was in the Sunday show at the Groundlings and I at least had that, right?

And I did and I remember during that period, I was still flat broke and everything, but I was like, hmm, I am You’re doing this and I would be making a ton of money at some other business, you know, and I had a class to.

52:33

Once I got out of grad school.

I studied with this teacher win hanmin who is still with us and they’re making a documentary about him and I just got to go and talk about him for a long time and they handed me the contact sheet from my class and Connie Britton.

52:49

That’s where I met Connie is there.

Aasif mandvi was was on the sheet and like, you know Not only was Is that the creative outlet that kept me going?

But this became a little bit of my community, you know, when you’re starting out, you look to the left and the right and, you know, hopefully you’ll have some friends who, you know, some success.

53:08

Yeah.

Yeah.

And in my circle, my life that was Melissa McCarthy, so we were all in comedy troupe together.

And then she was the first among us, that was like, bought a house, right in, right, from being sucky, right?

Yeah, Gilmore Girls.

And that was, that was mind blowing to.

53:26

Yes.

I mean I was always Talked about.

Yeah, it was shot.

He still became, she was still friends with us because I’m yeah, that’s all we thought about is the fact that she was, you know, making a paycheck.

Yeah, doing this thing.

I went with her to look at that first house over by Gelson’s, right, where she redid it with, she’s incredible at.

53:43

Yeah.

I remember in college, there was a guy who was in another acapella group, who had a, like, a Burger King commercial you’d Point him out.

You know, like people, we asked the guy.

Oh, yeah.

I was the thing, like, it’s so far away when you’re when you’re You’re not even close, you know, and yeah and then even once you get in it, I could see as far as could, maybe get a couple lines on a soap and then I got a couple lines on a soap and then I was like, maybe I could be like a guest star on a sitcom and I got that.

54:10

And then like it.

Do you keep having to Vicki’s?

Yes.

Well, it does, if you’re smart.

Well, though, I did want to talk to you about that because I think that’s something that we both have, right.

And that is that is human nature.

So, it’s like God, if I could just make a living.

54:27

In commercial, whatever you tell yourself that for a while, then you do that and you go off man.

If I was just a regular on a sitcom that that would be it but that never stops, right?

You eventually, if you want to know peace, you kind of got to stop that.

That’s right.

Yeah, because you can also miss out my analogies always like I’ve worked with a lot of different actors that were in a movie.

54:46

We’re on a location somewhere.

Exotic were making good money, and they’re preoccupied that they’re not sewing.

So right?

And I always say, you know, it’d be a real fucking shame to miss the The experience of having been in the MBA just because you’re not Michael Jordan.

It’s really simple to go.

55:01

Fuck.

I’m not Michael Jordan.

Well, you might be Scotty, Pittman.

That’s a goddamn amazing life and it’s very easy to miss it because you do keep moving.

Yeah.

Mark, right?

Well, what?

I mean in moving the bar is is it’s fun to give yourself something to Aspire to but for me the bar does change.

55:22

And at a certain point, my bar became more Out feeling really happy at home, having love in my life and being feeling really grateful for that and pivoting for me.

It’s been helpful to read the landscape and go.

55:38

Well that’s not going to happen or this is going to happen.

You’re not going to be a superhero and that’s right.

I’m not either that right that ship sailed.

That’s right.

That’s right, and I’m not going to be Sandra Bullock because she already did it.

Yeah, and it’s not going to suddenly I’m you know, but so and I’ve always been very Pretty realistic about that.

55:58

I don’t know what the next thing is as an actor.

Like I am.

I am at my first place where there are more options, that are not appealing than ones that are yeah, which is why one of the reasons I started writing.

And I also started writing just out of the same way.

56:16

I started acting it just happened and I thought okay.

Well if this is bubbling up, I better give it some attention and deadlines and some structure.

I have more writing assignments right now than I do.

But what’s interesting is you started this prior to being in that mental state because you started your first book while we were doing Parenthood.

56:34

Yes, right.

Yeah.

That when you that farsighted that.

No, no, this is what that was.

I was on a job.

That was really fun Parenthood.

Yeah, I, and if you had to say one person most, I mean, whatever you don’t have to say my name, but just, you know, if one person pops a person, I wish I had more scenes with the most was you because we always had you and I We had such a fucking blast and and I do feel like we had the least amount of scenes, you know, any two characters in the show.

57:03

Weirdly.

I remember when you join because for people who don’t know this, the pilot was shot with more attorney Karen.

He say Vietnamese one more time, you know, more sure to her knees.

She’s a Vietnamese actor from Vietnam, but then she got sick momentarily, and then she was recast in, you.

57:27

The casting.

I remember thinking, I think I’d only met you and me met, you twice, socially, and you were very funny in real life.

And I thought you and I will probably have a lot of scenes together and will be funny together, but they pretty much put up a firewall between us Ava dead.

In fact, if there’s one scene, there’s one scene that, I mean, at least pops out in my head of our first thing working together.

57:46

Do you have one?

Because I have a specifics on the boat?

Yes.

I was fixing the sink, right?

That’s immediately where my head goes.

When I think of acting with you is, we had some seen.

It was almost impossible to shoot because my head’s under a fucking sink was Like early conceived, right?

I’m not gonna sing like sitting on the counter or something.

58:02

And yeah, and you’re basically having a scene with the neighbor and Tim the Tool Man.

Yeah facing ever see rise in his eyes like you’re having to see my feet right and but I remember it being really fun though.

But because we hijacked it mostly yeah.

Yeah, right.

It was conceived one way and then we did something else and it was really fun.

58:19

Maybe that’s why they didn’t want to say never see their like, well if neither of them is going to say anything, we wrote, why don’t we spread them out a little bit?

Yeah.

Don’t lie.

It works.

But together it’s the, I think I was just so like, you know, Gilmore Girls was every word, every word as wrong and there’s a beauty to that and there’s a real discipline and, you know, in a funny way.

58:42

After Parenthood.

I was like, I really crave the sort of theatrical language, you know, come on girls, and then I got to do it again.

But yeah, I was definitely like, oh, you know, they allowed some freedom and I really took that for you.

Yeah.

Yeah, they give you an inch and you too.

Behind.

58:58

Yeah, me too.

But but yeah, so you are on Gilmore Girls and that was your first really big break and that what, that was a very hard showing that as you just said that the language is really, really important.

Yeah, and and also, you were the, you were the lead of the show, so your hours were crazy.

59:15

Now, shows are generally shot with three cameras.

Yeah, there’s not nearly as much time and digital we.

When we started Gilmore Girls, We shot on film which takes a lot longer to light.

Yep, too light to load.

You don’t want to Taste it.

So you’re not just going to leave the camera running and let people take four runs at it because I’m Parenthood, we’d have three cameras shooting and you would often do for takes within one.

59:36

Take.

You just reset yourself and keep going in.

There was no expense to that, that made our life super easy, right?

But yeah, you left a show where you’re working, what 14 hours a day, 14 hours a day.

And then, I did a Broadway musical and then I did the windshield wiper movie and then, I did a couple like I didn’t stop there.

59:53

Any point though, between Gilmore Girls and Parenthood where you thought I can only assume if you’re like me by the end of Gilmore Girls.

You’re like, I can’t do this anymore.

It’s so much work so long.

I want something else and then the second that’s gone.

You’re like, oh boy, was that my thing?

Was that the one thing you have?

1:00:08

Those feelings?

Just kind of kept barreling forward.

And I’m sure I had all those fears because I have every fear of every kind, every day because that could becomes its own Addiction in a way, right?

It’s like, God, work hard got to be in this in this.

You no real battle mode and that’s How you know look it works.

1:00:28

This is the for this many years.

So that’s what I got to stay in this mode and you know, kind of barrel through and like the Broadway is a extremely demanding, insane schedule and like, and is a musical I did 113 shows.

Did we?

1:00:43

Yeah.

Wow, that’s too many wasn’t, you know, it wasn’t a hit show if you don’t have the energy behind it you it’s your.

So that’s even its own Battle of.

Like I’m going to get in there and give it my best but you know, and you don’t know.

When it’s going to end, you know, because it’s a business model.

1:01:01

I didn’t understand.

So I was like, how long do we keep this going before?

It’s, you know, you’re dying.

Makes an apricot.

Yeah, sickly and I remember I ran into name-drop alert, but I had done an episode of Seinfeld when I was starting and I’ve never heard of that.

That’s right.

I ran into Jerry Seinfeld, always so nice.

1:01:21

And he had so many episodes.

He has no reason to like, remember, he’s always like, speed dial.

But I said, I’m just so exhausted and I don’t, I can’t figure it out.

And he said it’s the audience.

It’s that energy of that relationship is the most wonderful energy and on your worst night.

1:01:40

You’re giving so much and absorbing that whatever the connection is and and it’s the fuel.

Yes.

And sometimes your you really not working on much fuel.

But so I had only existed there and then and then I got Parenthood and in the beginning, I Was frustrated by how little you had to.

1:02:00

Yeah, and I recall this, I think that’s a huge transition by the way, for having a, to be the title character and his show and then come be a part of an ensemble is an adjustment.

There were so many things.

I didn’t expect about it.

But I think the most scary one at first, was I had time and I didn’t I had no experience almost since I was in high school or before then, I mean I jammed my Summers Full of jobs and camps and training and but it was all in the name of career.

1:02:33

It wasn’t like good times.

I didn’t like backpack through Europe or anything, you know, like I had been driving this train for so long modem.

Yeah.

Did you have a person?

You were trying to be?

Was there a career path that you were like, that’s who I want to be.

You brought up Sandra Bullock.

1:02:50

I mean, honestly that was the dream in the very beginning.

I I was up for a couple things that You know, I auditioned for while you were sleeping.

I would die.

I don’t think I came.

Did you get a close my God, but, you know, I wanted to be Helen Hunt, early McGovern is like, I really wanted to do a half-hour and, and do kind of romantic comedies.

1:03:14

I love, I love romantic comedies of the, you know, good kind.

So anyway, and so, some of that frustration, I think I just honestly didn’t know what to do with myself.

You know, I got to this one day and Peter had Of den and I was really happy and I started piske.

1:03:30

Planking your coat.

My brother.

Yeah, but who I’d known for a million years.

You guys have been on a date which I love what are.

You didn’t know?

You was on a date.

Is that what it was?

He wanted to play board games?

1:03:47

Is that part of this?

Okay, so that’s that’s not even the one I saw.

You’re asking we had a couple near-misses, overlooked a 15-year period and we were in the same episode of Caroline in the city.

Uh-huh.

And so we became friends and for various reasons over the years.

I was always like for one reason or other I was like, oh he’s not interested or he’s not ready or he’s not dating material, you know, he’s not whatever, he invited me over to his apartment to play a board game chart, super sexy move and and we did and I was like and you’ll get him.

1:04:17

Italy played a board way.

Now knowing use, he’s he’s such, he’s from such a like cards and game families over Minnesota.

Yeah.

Cannot underestimate the That right there.

I was just there for the Super Bowl and I don’t know, I understand Peter Krause now perfectly.

1:04:33

Yeah, everyone is kind as hell.

Yes.

Genuinely.

Smart Earnest.

Yeah, they’re all.

Yeah, and that’s have no.

And I mean this in the, you know, he’s the sexiest man alive, but he kind of no sex game in a traditional way because he didn’t really eat, didn’t need one.

1:04:50

But so anyway, we played board games.

And then this is the way I’m a woman in a man, invites me to play board games on what I I perceive as a date, I’m 40 percent certain.

He’s a serial killer.

It’s such an offbeat suggestion, you know, but I genuinely thought, I mean, I didn’t think we were gonna go like, make out or something, but I just thought he sort of, I thought it was like a joke, like come up and see my etchings.

1:05:12

Yeah, get up there and he’s in a rubbers like so Rummikub or, you know, but God bless him.

He God, will he want to play some of those board game?

And then he threw as we were leaving.

He threw a football, classic him.

The one, and only time I’ve ever as he’ll tell it, I caught a perfect spiral.

1:05:33

It’s like tells me everything about.

So but wait, I caught the ball and he said, I think I’m in love and I said, let’s go because I had already been like, I was like this, he’s not flirting with me.

So now when he did overtly flirt with me, I was just like now, you know, it was friend zone.

1:05:52

So anyway, but so many of our conversations on Parenthood we’d be discussing the The our life shooting this show.

Yeah, and I remember regular going, like, just this experience is not gonna be topped as far as the workload and the people we got to be around a lie.

1:06:10

And who were shooting shit with that craft service.

That was like, that was a 10 but I was still in, you were still in my other mode.

Yeah, and, and, but by the way, by the end, I became the person who would say to me and Miles, you’ll never have this again.

Don’t slow down all these roses.

1:06:27

So I have noticed, that is a place where ambition goes to die.

Happily.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I had to make that transition.

That’s my question to you is, how do you I have this thing?

Where I constantly am saying to myself.

So you had all these characteristics as a person that brought you to the dance, but you’re here and it’s not necessarily that those characteristics are going to keep you at the dance, you know, it’s really hard when a certain personality style has Has yielded results, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to yield happiness.

1:07:02

It doesn’t mean it’s going to yield a relationship that lasts.

It doesn’t it?

So, sometimes you got to, you got to kind of dip it, right?

Certainly have to Pivot, you know.

Yeah, I think I think it’s it.

It is part of growing and growing up, which I think we’re always doing is to lose the ideas.

1:07:18

You had about yourself even if exactly what you’re saying, even if they have been successful, sometimes there were hanging on to something that does not serve us.

More.

I don’t know how you identify that necessarily, but I think it’s always Bears another look because I did get to a place.

1:07:34

When I would say like God.

I wish I had more to do on the show or I feel ambitious and like, you know, it’s like I’m sitting on the bench and I want to play in the game.

Yeah thing for sure.

But once I kind of had that given to me, even though I didn’t think I wanted it, it you were forced.

1:07:52

Its yeah.

Just forced to a slow down and be Be quiet.

And you know, the first page is that I wrote that became my first book happened in a moment in our trailer when I was done with work.

1:08:09

It was noon.

I knew who I was going home to out.

There was no kind of and I thought, what what is this space?

How would it, what a waste kind of, you know, that was my first thought and then I was reflecting on it was perfect.

1:08:25

I mean, I’ve been in therapy like I It’s not the first time I reflected on my life ever, but it was a different kind of, of space.

Yeah, and out of that space came, new, creative thoughts, and and new Pursuit wasn’t born out of like, well, now, I guess I should try to Brand Myself by as a writer, you know, it wasn’t anything mercenary.

1:08:47

It wasn’t about career.

I just had kind of thought and I want I’ve started telling a story and in this this period of like, guess what?

Reflection.

Are you also evaluating your life outside of your identity as an actor.

1:09:03

It affected everything.

My my Mantra which had been like, go, go go, go go.

Became like Slow Down, slow down.

And, and also, I thought maybe there is a way to and I’m talking about everything, not just career.

Can I have more?

He’s in how I’m conducting my self.

1:09:21

And, and in the level of anxiety.

I’m experiencing all the time.

Yeah, you know, can I enjoy?

Self, you know, can I be here?

And it and it has to do with being in a place.

That was a happy place but it’s not entirely that it was just having some space to feel who I was and where I was.

1:09:40

And it was one of those life moments where it’s like, hey, is this still serving me, you know, is this kind of like manic?

Got to get to the next place?

Yeah.

It’s probably age somewhat, but it’s also it’s, there’s a kind of self-care that maybe Loops back to how How we were or were not parented.

1:09:59

My father is an incredible person.

He was a great parent, but he was not a mommy in a traditional mommy way.

Like I would go to other kids houses and their moms were like, I would I would just feel like who they’re so like present.

They’re like, you know, they’re also like kissy and like, you know, wondering what we’re doing and like I was like, just leave us alone.

1:10:19

We’re fine.

Yeah, and so, you know, that fit for who I was but but I think it took me a long time to be like Hey, I can just, you know, Mommy this up a little bit more and and just kind of have more ease and you’re using therapy.

Mostly at this moment to help guide you through this.

1:10:36

I’ve been in therapy since college that has been enormously enormously helpful.

Well, I’ve never done this exercise, but I’m aware of the exercise were therapist will ask you to basically Comfort the young version of yourself, right?

Like imagine the young.

Mmm when I was when I was asked to do this once and I was like, see, okay, I can’t do that.

1:10:56

That because all I’m going to do is kind of like judge my acting.

While I’m just gonna be like, oh wait, I want to go back and rewrite.

This monologue like, you know, can’t it seems like perform.

Yeah.

Well I one time before I had embraced a 12-step program.

I’m like, I print out a picture of myself as a baby and laminated and put it in my wallet.

1:11:15

When I want to do cocaine.

I would pull out this picture myself and think, would you put cocaine in that little baby’s nose?

And then it didn’t work fact, I’d put lots of cocaine in it.

That’s like a but I did your fault.

Yeah, I tried it for a while and then bail discovered this and then she started keeping it in her wall just because she wanted to see that baby often when she was hating me.

1:11:38

She’d look at that baby go.

He was once an innocent person.

That did I.

Yeah, but I think in general, you know, I just kind of thought I feel like things can be easier and more enjoyable and it’s not cheating.

I think I had tied up effort and and worry with I’m doing a good job.

1:11:58

And and then if I enjoy myself and some things easy, I probably didn’t put enough effort into it.

Yeah, I was like trying to separate, you know, those two, also part of being an actor.

There’s only one other job, like, being an athlete where you’re thinking about how you look all the time, you’re thinking about what you’re eating or thinking about like, your hair like you’re thinking about.

1:12:19

So in terms of being all-consuming, it’s not even.

Just the hours you’re putting in on a stage.

It’s like you’re constantly thinking about Your self.

You’re constantly being reminded where you stand.

Yeah, it’s the invitation you get.

It’s the table.

1:12:35

You might get.

It’s the, are they sending a car or not, you know, we all the trapping, like their meaning, these things are meaningless, but they but they can contribute to our sense of ourselves and our achievement.

And and that’s, you know, everybody probably has that at work in some way or another but it’s perhaps more transparent, you know, like our thing is just like Like the calls stopped or the things go away, or they come back or they you know, you’re just it’s a murky.

1:13:03

There’s a ton of Uncertain.

That’s right.

But the thing I really hope to convey is for a certain if he told me when I was 17 that I would be on an NBC television show.

And people at the mall would recognize me.

I am II at the 17 year old would have said well, then I must feel great.

Like I’ll feel right celebrated and loved and that I would have never thought while be on that TV show and I’ll probably be thinking about why I’m not in right now.

1:13:26

Can sniper, right?

And in fact, that’s what I’m thinking when I get there.

So I feel like it’s my duty to just break the fallacy that like, you’ll never feel like you’ve got that level of whatever you’re going for that.

You actually end up having to make that decision for yourself.

1:13:42

That’s right.

And in this is a natural segue to plug the book I have coming.

Okay, great.

Great, great, great, great.

You remind me of it?

Because I I gave a graduation speech last year and then the publisher asked me to do kind of a Education book like a advice.

1:13:59

I totally changed the speech I gave and but elongated advice that’s right and and and really what it comes down to and it can feel so tricky to say this in a way that doesn’t sound.

It’s like it’s a very lucky place to get to do what you want, but the real secret is Getting to do that does not change your sense of yourself because I have many we all have friends.

1:14:28

You know who think if they had XYZ or you know, some that success kind of gives you something and it really doesn’t.

In fact, it can separate you from your sense of yourself because now on top of everything, you don’t feel the way you thought you were going to feel.

1:14:48

Yeah, and the way you’re supposed to feel and the way everybody.

He thinks you should feel and like, you know, how dare you complain from your kite house, but it is it forces you to to look within so many of us, you know, started these these storytelling artistic careers to fantasize about being somebody else.

1:15:08

Yeah.

It’s at its core the day of work.

Feeds you.

Yeah, the the experience and it’s what you’re saying about being on a set with somebody who’s like, oh, why aren’t I, you know, but the it is literally just the day and I’ve had Happy Days.

As you know, a cocktail waitress and I have had happy and I’ve had sad days as an actor, and I’ve felt better about, you know, some of my work is a tutor then I have, you know what I mean?

1:15:35

It’s literally the I have almost zero memories of where episodes we did.

How present or not present.

I am in those storylines.

I don’t really know.

I can’t tell you.

If your three was big for me or you’re fine.

I don’t know.

But I have all my Memories are us making that show.

1:15:52

Yes.

Yeah, in a a we say, we’re not in the results.

Business were in the show up and do work this.

Yes in.

Like, I have to remind myself of that console.

Everything.

Experiencer on planet Earth is the work part.

It’s not the results part.

And, and it’s a, it’s a game.

1:16:08

Or it’s a, it’s a lie.

There are many reasons to continue to try to sell the idea that this car, this house.

This show, this job this matter whether this Aang will then put you in the place you want to be.

1:16:24

And once you get that it’s can be jarring because you’re really left with your left with who you are who you love and you know your effort.

I think your intention, my intention is now.

1:16:39

I’m really invested in putting positivity into my work into the world and that’s very flowery and also very simple.

Oh, well, I like that because I like to ask people what gives you self esteem because that ultimately that is at the core of all this.

1:16:57

Yeah, what is your list of things that make you generally?

Content are like yourself, one is continuing to learn something new, you know, I got a shot as a writer and I wanted to learn more and do better and, and continue to grow.

1:17:15

So some of those opportunities have come to me.

And some I have created one of the things.

I’m proud of in terms of Gilmore Girls or Parenthood really is.

Is, you know, lifting up young people females.

Hopefully yes, particular very hard.

1:17:32

Yeah, and and I have all these fucking issues as a six, two white guys walk.

It’s like it’s so unfair.

I have the most Advantage.

Anyone could have possibly have in this country and to think I still don’t like myself.

Well, I know, I think everybody struggles.

1:17:49

I really do.

I don’t know that many.

Any people who don’t doubt themselves, don’t know that many people who are completely satisfied.

I don’t think it’s The Human Condition, You know, I don’t think it has to do with.

And again, the, we’re living in a world where, you know, whether it’s instagramer all the, there’s so many ways to feel bad about yourself.

1:18:05

Oh, so many ways to put a life out there.

That isn’t real to curate.

Yes.

I think I’m coming back around to kind of mom issue in a way and, and, and really looking into that a little bit more.

But in terms of An n and kind of.

1:18:22

So to answer your question, one is positivity and the other is kind of giving something away.

I think at best, you know, there is a purpose to, you know, this that is not about us and that I would bet was as important a piece of becoming an actor as anything which is a real desire to tell a healing stone.

1:18:50

Story for ourselves, but for people for people, first of all, the world feels crazy right now and I think it is linked somewhat to the number of this room sound like 200 years old, but to the number of shows and movies that are really, really harsh and, and violent, and dark.

1:19:09

I don’t know what came first, antihero movement, so much distopia, it’s too much and when I go to look for something to watch, you know, with Peter or with his son, or You know, they’re the choices are one more harrowing than the next and and I that’s I don’t think that’s helping us.

1:19:30

You know.

Meanwhile, we sat as a family and watched every episode of queer eye and it’s the most hopeful.

You love it kind.

You’re presenting that to me.

I think almost every time I run into you’ll bring, that’s not true.

We just watched it this weekend.

What are you teaching you?

I just came out the new one.

1:19:47

Okay.

What do you like Project Runway?

Yes, that’s different.

You can see where I’m at.

I like some, I like stuff where people, the game, and how advice.

Yes, but I’m telling you, one of the reasons we all loved it is, it’s happy.

1:20:04

It’s hopeful, it’s, it’s it’s what you want in life, instead of continually affirming, you know, do you think it’s possible though?

There is a way to read all that as being positive, ultimately, which is if life is pretty darn good across the country.

1:20:21

Then what is lacking in your life and what you want to see is kind of this weird gnarly underbelly, you know, bad anti-heroes stuff.

That it’s actually the thing that’s missing.

Where’s I now see that?

There is a trend where there’s more happy stuff coming out.

Was I think is almost a comment on the fact that people generally are feeling pessimistic about life in America.

1:20:41

Now, we’re looking for more wish-fulfillment right other direction.

I mean, I don’t know, that’s my positive spin on it, but I think it’s kind of, you know, if everyone’s poor than a, than a story like, Willy Wonka, a little kid winning.

This thing is very appealing because if that’s everyone’s wish, but everyone’s like kind of fat on the farm then you want you want to see something a little dangerous and spicy.

1:21:00

I don’t know II, it’s me the phones like ruined everything, you know, and perhaps you as a Samsung spokesperson cannot cannot confirm.

It could no longer employed speak.

Honestly.

I really, I mean, this is, this goes into my like deep conspiracy theories, but I just feel we don’t have the Sensitivity we did.

1:21:22

This is not a new Theory obviously, but as a result of this incredible information, bad bad news dump.

Yeah, that you get every day.

People are are really in and I’m talking I’m not well financially, I’m speaking like psychologically, there’s a lot there’s a lot of things in the marketplace that we as ultimately primates whose Evolution kind of stopped a while ago.

1:21:51

Equipped for so sugar.

We’re just not equipped for that.

But we’re not eat any sugar.

I don’t, but I had a bad run out of it.

I’m newly back to not eating sugar.

Since what are your other dietary?

Are you vegan?

Our know, it’s so annoying.

If I had a list of, but I’m going to anti-inflammation diet for my arthritis and is basically it’s no eggs.

1:22:09

No Dairy.

No gluten.

The only meat is turkey lamb and bison said, because of your blood type, or what is that?

I won’t even try to defend the science behind.

I went to are elevated.

Eric cleanse, and they told me to eat this.

I tried it actually worked.

1:22:24

When I do follow that ayat.

My arthritis is non-existent when I cheat, which is regularly.

Yeah, it flares up.

So whatever.

Yeah, so also, they’ve hooked people up to Brain, Monitoring devices and watch them.

Use a slot machine, right?

So you get a reward dump, right for, which is what you would get when you found fruit in the past and you’re wandering Through the Jungle, likewise.

1:22:48

This device is just triggering our pleasure.

It’s giving us like a you know, a little dopamine dump and how on Earth could we resist that we can’t resist.

It’s like finding a fucking Apple every two feet you walk in the woods.

So yeah, there’s some stuff that we’re just especially vulnerable to yeah, and I think yeah, this phone is one of them, but you know, I’m sure you have a version of this with two little girls, but to see, you know, kids are 1960s.

1:23:15

It really has changed how they interact or don’t part of me is like I hate it and it apart.

Me is like, okay.

So we’re moving into a world which is AI and Automation in 95% of people are going to be unemployed.

And so we’re right training them to live their life through this technology, which is probably what their lives will be.

1:23:32

At some point.

I have become my father and that growing up.

He was like microwaves, they’re bad for you VCRs.

You’ll just watch more TV and I was like, oh my god dad, why?

I won’t watch more.

I’ll just much better.

And then like now I’m like we are not having one of those boxes that’s listening to you and the house you’re not in like I don’t turn my phone on.

1:23:50

Until like, I shut it off.

And oh, yeah, certain time.

I turn it out.

You know, I don’t keep it on.

I’m fighting it daily more and more stuff makes zero sense to me.

Yeah, that’s how I know.

I’m getting older, right?

Yeah, things are starting to.

I feel the way people felt about the Beatles in the 60s.

1:24:06

Yes, Aaron’s.

Yeah.

And I go.

Oh well, here it is.

Yes.

Everyone’s gonna come eventually.

Yeah.

And although Peter son listens to a lot of good music.

Yeah.

That can transform back.

Yeah, my kids already like Hall & Oates, they loved her parents and their babies.

1:24:23

Yeah.

Well, I listen Lauren.

I love you so much.

I’m so glad that you came and I’m really excited.

You’re joining the podcast permanently as you declare publicly.

I’m going you like snacks or something.

Yeah, great.

And next time, maybe you don’t bring your own coffee and I can make you one.

Okay, which would be a great offering on my part?

1:24:41

You I would feel it would raise my self-esteem.

I lied for you.

I know.

But do I get a mug though?

Yeah, you can have a mug like even though I did there, like 14:17.

How are you doing?

Charge mining scale to to accept, then I’ll just gonna call your, your guy all your account.

1:24:56

We’ll see what we can get for this, and I love you.

Thanks for coming by and I do again, I will because we didn’t, I got a million more questions.

I could talk to you all day.

We will stay tuned.

If you’d like to hear my good friend and producer, Monica, Padma and point out the many errors in the podcast.

1:25:12

You just heard Monica bad men, fact-check time for Lauren.

Graham.

Did we make any blunder?

Ders, yes.

Oh, oh shit.

Just a few.

Okay.

Um, Lauren couldn’t remember Jeff’s name on the show flipping out in his name is Jeff Lewis.

1:25:29

Jeff Lewis National Treasure.

Yes.

Yeah.

We also talked about Chaz Dean, we talked about him for good bit.

I sure.

And I’m the topic of chasteen.

It’s hard to get off.

Yes.

I had recalled that he was wearing two of something in his billboard and it is too vast though.

1:25:50

I actually think Probably one vest upon closer examination, that has like, but it looks like to vest.

The one vest is made to look like a vest on top of a bed.

That’s not the best time.

Best looks crazy.

Okay, although we would love to have Chaz Dean has oh, yeah, shell when when it’s a great product.

1:26:10

I have used it before and I did like it and we like it when people were two vests.

Fuck.

Yeah.

It’s the Harvest the better.

Yeah.

I think you need to take just a second.

Apologize to Neil Lane.

Okay, he’s huge.

1:26:25

He’s huge.

You kind of made it sound like, he’s just like some Jeweler who ended up.

Well, listen, I’ll tell you why.

I’m not going to apologize to me Lane because and I’m not going to tell the whole story because I don’t want to be liable for anything.

Suffice to say, when I had bought an engagement ring for Kristin.

1:26:43

I was going to then wait a couple months to give it to her.

And then somehow this story hit the tabloids that I had bought.

Engagement ring.

I’m not going to say anything.

I’m just going to say, I’m not going to apologize.

Okay?

Yeah, I’m not accusing him of anything officially, but I’m just saying there will not be a forthcoming apology from me.

1:27:03

Okay?

Okay, interesting.

Yeah, I’ll give you the full rundown like sir ice cold turkey, but and just real quick, another thing about Neil and even though I know you probably want to hear anything about him, but, you know, he’s actually a nice guy.

1:27:20

He is a nice.

Guy want to say that.

Yeah, he’s on the but he’s the Jeweler of the bachelor.

Mmm.

So I like him too.

Okay, and he I think he’s just involved with Kay Jewelers.

I don’t think he’s like the face of keijo and you’re not going to walk into a mall in Minneapolis and stepanek a jeweler and find seals at work the desk there.

1:27:41

Okay?

Okay.

No, I think it’s like when Vera Wang has a has a collection at Kohl’s, okay?

Or Missoni at Target lick.

Yes, exactly.

Okay, and then you sing the Kay Jewelers theme song and you said every wish begins with k and it’s every kiss.

1:27:58

Begins with.

Oh, okay.

Good distinction to make every kiss.

Begins with Kay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, you know what?

It’s not until this very moment that I realize why they say that because the word kiss begins with the letter k, I’ve never made that fucking connection.

1:28:18

You haven’t either know, I’ve always just been like Arrogant statement.

Every kiss begins with Kay Jewelers know, it doesn’t.

They are literally correct.

They thought it through every kiss, begins with the letter.

K.

Wow.

So you guys both talk about speaking in tongues is also called glossolalia.

1:28:39

That’s the real turtle close to glosso.

Rabiya.

This is not a good term.

Is it?

Is that real?

No, but lately has, I was like, labia, what was it glass OU Lele.

Aw, so Layla, Leah glass o Laila.

Your brain is just always on that.

1:28:54

Yeah, it really is.

That’s right.

So speaking in tongues is a new testament, phenomena where a person speaks in a language that is unknown to him previously or her.

Correct.

Thank you.

You’re such a massage.

1:29:10

Every I’m glad I’m here to represent females.

Mental possess.

Not the Lord, talking through your mental possession, some an apparition.

Yes.

Okay.

Heavenly being is speaking through you.

It’s weird that they are Heavenly.

1:29:26

So I assume their powers are nearly unlimited yet.

They can’t speak English which most people can learn and pinch, ya scared at the end of that.

Okay.

Sure.

Phil speaking of that.

So you said you think God doesn’t speak English because he wouldn’t want to, like, tip his hat to who he liked the most.

1:29:43

Did I say that?

Okay, but truthfully, he would be speaking Hebrew if he was speaking a language.

Well, if he’s the god of the Old Testament, yeah.

Yeah, but that’s the god that speaks in tongues.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That’s the same God.

Yeah.

Okay, so you’re probably be speaking Hebrew.

1:30:01

I hope we don’t get a fought wire.

Something now.

I know past us.

Yeah, you just, you just waited us out into some very treacherous Waters.

Excited.

You see what happens?

This just and Monica pad, man, says, God speaks Hebrew.

Well, I’m willing to defend that if they come back to me.

1:30:18

Okay.

You and talking about fact checks and all the data that you spout.

You said the distance between here and the Sun is 93 million miles, which is also known as 1 astronomical unit.

One a you and the moon you said is 180,000 miles.

1:30:35

I’m less positive about that claim.

Yeah, you’re wrong about that.

Look that when is 230 8900?

Oh, well, that’s great, though. 182 2:30, I can live.

Well, yeah, I mean, I expected to be off by a factor of ten, almost.

1:30:50

Okay, we’ll just commit it to memory.

Next time, you say it, you to what, but I got imagine that that must either be an average that you read, because obviously it’s at different distances.

No, maybe it’s not.

Well, the shirt, the Earth is not perfectly spherical.

I’ll fuck it.

1:31:06

Who knows?

I feel like there’s got to be times where it’s further and closer.

Maybe probably not by that big of a distant, although maybe who knows universe is, Big 230 8900.

Okay.

Okay, you know what?

Let’s let’s split the difference.

I said 186, you’re saying 230.

1:31:22

Let’s I’m just in the future.

I’m going to say it’s about 200,000 miles away.

No, really easier.

All right.

Okay.

Oh, this is really interesting.

So the aptitude test that her dad took, I looked into this.

1:31:38

I don’t know if you took this exact same one, right?

But there is an aptitude test called dla be Defense Language.

Aptitude battery test.

Mmm.

It’s a military test to measure ones, aptitude to learn a foreign language.

It consists of 126 multiple choice questions.

1:31:56

And then there are these different categories.

That category one is Dutch, French Italian, Portuguese and Spanish Category. 2 is German only category 3 is check, Greek Hebrew, Persian Polish.

Russian Slavic, Thai, Turkish, Ukrainian.

1:32:14

Belarusian and Vietnamese, that’s the one you’d want to crush.

That’s the one he did cry.

Wow.

So he could go anywhere.

Uh-huh.

And then the fourth one is Arabic Chinese Japanese and Korean.

I think that’s the hardest one.

I don’t know if that’s true you.

1:32:31

Again.

We’re back into some deep exactly shark-infested Waters, but you you place, you get different numbers.

You take this test.

No, I want to.

Yeah, you want to beat it.

Was it?

I’m gonna get zero.

I’m so bad at length.

I’ll be what Half of whatever you get know, I’m really just heard.

1:32:46

I had to cheat at Spanish to get through it.

I don’t cheat but I didn’t like it.

Yeah, I love Spanish.

But anyway, um, so we love all people, you know, you score a number for each category for the military if they’re like sending you somewhere.

1:33:03

They look at your numbers.

If you’ve made a certain number on a certain thing you like qualify, uh-huh.

Able to go anyway, cool.

Yeah, that is neat.

So I looked on a world map to see how How she could have gone from Japan to the United States while also going through Russia?

1:33:21

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that was bizarre.

Right?

It makes sense.

Doesn’t make any sense.

Okay, it’s very close to Russia, but it would be going the wrong.

That’s like a real janky internet deal on a flight.

It’s like yeah, you can go for four dollars cheaper, but you gotta connect through Moscow, the opposite direction and then come all the way.

1:33:40

Yeah.

Okay, so you asked if her mom did a course in Miracles course of me.

Is it course, on or course of mirror?

It is, my father was into this.

It was people who were in a a and Michigan in the 90s seemed of really also, like course of Miracles.

1:33:57

I think it’s course in my think you said, course of Miracles.

And I corrected it, but now I’m wondering if I’m wrong, but I think I’m right.

So Course in Miracles.

Also known as the course.

It’s a big night was a big book in 1976.

There was like a self-study.

1:34:14

L’m and legends right spiritual transformation, right?

Hmm.

That’s how your dad liked it.

Yeah.

I loved it.

They were very into now.

I believe in he had a, what?

A charm around his neck, his necklace, and it was a clock and it’s spelt.

1:34:29

Now, where one would wear 12 would be, was an N or six was a w.

And there were nine was a was an n and we’re three was a w.

So you whether you read up to down and said now or right?

It said now, yeah.

Uh-huh.

1:34:45

I think they sold a lot of wall clocks to, that said, now it is Course in Miracles.

I’d just double-check.

Okay, great.

Thank you for pointing that out.

In case someone wants to take on the curriculum.

They might want to.

Yeah.

Okay, so you said cable came out when you were a kid?

1:35:03

Hmm.

Okay.

Technically cable TV came out in 1948 and you were a kid.

So you’re right.

Yeah.

Okay.

Just confirm.

I was correct.

Yeah.

The first few decades it was used pretty much exclusively for a just existing broadcast network systems that couldn’t just receive Airways.

1:35:27

So yeah, but then so that’s that that’s pretty much that’s pretty much that the real you’re thinking of like MTV and original program that started in the 70s.

Okay.

The first thing I remember coming out was on TV and it Being a broadcasted over the airwaves on what became of the fox affiliate there.

1:35:49

Be kbd.

And at 8:00, it scrambled.

And if you have this converter, the on TV converter, it turned that scrambled signal into a movie.

Oh, that’s cool.

You brought it, the Alexander technique yet again.

You bring this up a lot.

Okay, and I’ve been meaning to correct you for a long time because you said that Kristen would breathe and breathe into people’s mouths doing the Alexander technique and their sweat.

1:36:14

Suits ya early in the morning and college, and I’ve been skeptical of this because I was also a theater major in school.

And what you learned, I’m gonna and we also learned the Alexander technique that I never remember breathing in anyone’s mouth.

Okay, so, I looked it up because I couldn’t remember, sorry schooling.

1:36:36

But, ya know, the Alexander technique is like a physical.

Not breathing in your mouth.

Dressing badagry zactly.

Are you?

Each other’s mouths.

Yes.

It’s how to avoid unknow.

It’s how to avoid muscular tension, while performing in physical in the physical space.

1:36:56

Okay.

So, so in the future in the future, I do, I do want you to correct me.

And I do want to learn from this experience.

But when I have a fantasy, okay, that’s clearly just a fantasy about young coeds breathing.

Each other’s mouths wearing sweat suits early in the morning, you know, hormones at a 10 when I have a A fantasy like that that you’re not helping me by destroying it.

1:37:18

This is this is a unicorn that I want to believe in.

I’m sorry, but I have to fix it.

Are you always this?

So often you talk about the egg Alexander?

Think how many Biz how much business of probably driven to there’s probably like 60 year old divorce man.

Now taking Alexander to assuming that they’re gonna get to breathe in.

1:37:33

Someone’s mouth, is exactly why we can’t let this happen now, it’s sued by some.

Some divorcee who took many courses and didn’t once breathe in another perfect lie.

I’m really sorry to squash your fantasy.

I understand you can come up with more.

1:37:49

I think I believe in you to do that.

All right, you said s.e.

Hinton was 14 when she wrote The Outsiders and she may have been when she was when she wrote it, but it was published when she was 17.

Okay, Susan, Eloise an awesome.

No, that’s what.

It was just dead for.

1:38:06

No, I bet, when I was younger, I did, but I certainly don’t know.

I follow her on Twitter and I when I went to follow her, it said.

Ed follow back or it said follows you and I almost did a backflip.

Yeah.

She really introduced me to read to loving to read those books.

1:38:23

About young men, fighting and falling in love, uh, tax against all?

No.

No, that’s a different movie.

That X, The Outsiders.

Rumble.

Fish Stand By Me.

1:38:39

No, no.

No, that’s a Stephen King, I believe.

Anyway, she’s Great young.

She’s the original.

Why a young adult.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, you know, you made kind of a like a grumpy noise when when Lauren said that she was in a cool acapella group.

1:38:58

Okay, and there are cool acapella groups.

It’s not.

Yes.

There are.

Have you seen pitch-perfect the film?

Yeah.

No, but I am so happy for everyone involved because it’s wildly successful.

Elizabeth Banks is cool.

1:39:14

Ooh, and they’re good movies, and the acapella groups.

Some of them are cool.

Okay.

And cappella group at Barnard, which she went to, I think is called Picante.

Let’s let’s really quick for the sake of this argument, establish some kind of metric for cool.

1:39:33

Now you’re going to have to do it for females and I’m going to do it for guys.

And of course, is a young person that metric has to be success with the opposite sex.

I’m sorry.

And what I would argue is that never in the history of this world, did someone come up to a lady at a bar?

1:39:50

And say, I am a member of the whooping, cough, sore?

Whatever the heck it is Wolf and plus you’re wrong.

And then that person said, oh tell me more.

That’s not true.

That’s not true.

Okay.

Now for the females, well, hit me with the female metrics, you’re saying is the metric, but it does happen, you’re saying that there are females that they learn that the guy Guy is in a choir and then they need to find the closest dark room to make out.

1:40:20

Yes.

Oh my God.

Yes.

It does happen.

Can you bring one to this?

Add a cab?

You ever been to an acapella concert?

Have you ever?

No?

No, I okay.

Okay.

Well, I don’t want to interrupt you tell me.

Is it awesome?

Yeah, they’re very cool.

1:40:35

And it’s very impressive.

And William sexy, women are attracted to men in their element.

That’s true.

That’s True.

I would agree with that.

So but we can we can we just again?

You cannot the metric of cool cannot be the weird Niche.

1:40:51

That’s attending the events.

That’s not helpful to us.

That’s like saying, you know, guys who love Dungeons and Dragons are super cool and they’re getting laid all the time because at a Dungeons & Dragons conference and Arena somewhere.

There’s a lot of fecundity that’s not know.

1:41:08

That would be a group set, certain schools are so they cry, well-known.

Yeah.

They’re a big part of the school and people attend that aren’t in like corresponding archipelagos.

I didn’t, I wasn’t an acapella group and I ended up at two or three of those.

1:41:23

Okay, and you are hot for many of the male performers.

Yeah.

That was hot.

Okay.

All right, they do contemporary great.

So guys forget the muscle car and start working on your vibrato.

Vibrato, vibrato.

What is this out?

Vibrato.

Vibrato?

1:41:39

Is it intimidating?

Because I can’t sing.

Yeah, or does it?

Do you feel To buy this because you do.

You have spent so much time trying to be more masculine the opposite sex.

Yes.

By masculine standards.

Yeah.

1:41:54

Well, you know, truth be told I think you know as much as I’d like to think that all my success derived from my arrival on a motorcycle.

I’m the more objective side of myself knows.

It was probably being able to make someone laugh.

Yeah, so despite, but because I could admit that, you know, I’m saying?

1:42:13

There’s the Asian, I think I would like people to be attracted to, but that’s probably not what they’re attracted to him me.

Yeah, you don’t care that.

I’m missing.

I’m well, I’m not going around.

Yes, but I’m not trying to attract other man.

Yeah, by the way, you let you do want men.

Be attractive.

1:42:29

Well, in general, I think we could say, I like the flirt with every human on planet Earth.

So, yeah, I don’t exclude any gender great.

So you said, and you just set it again, that Harvard has an acapella group called The Coughs.

1:42:45

Okay.

I have no idea.

Why you think that well now that you said it, I realized whooping cough is a bad disorder.

Yes.

Tuberculosis.

Okay.

Yes.

1:43:01

Yeah.

Because my lawyer, Jamie Feldman, who was in Brothers Justice, which you saw a, he is a proud member of the whooping coughs.

Okay.

Well, you had said Harvard, so I did some research into Harvard group.

Oops, hold on though.

I want to find.

I’m worried that our female listeners right now are getting.

1:43:20

So, agitated downstairs with all this talk about these acapella singers.

And, and I deserve either your ex.

I’m worried because it now that I know how hot they are according to you.

And this new metric.

I am concerned that our female listeners are having to pull over on the side of the road.

1:43:35

They really are or find they’re good for them.

Yeah.

Look if I could give that gift to anyone, I would be.

I feel like this is a victory.

Okay.

Yale’s.

A cappella group is the whiffenpoofs.

Uh-huh.

Okay, easily.

Confused with Harvard.

Harvard has many, not the whooping coughs, and they have 14.

1:43:56

Fuck this.

I can’t bear to listen to all 14.

Gonna.

No.

No, you’re not.

No, you’re not.

No, you knew for know.

My favorite for people on subscribe.

If you’ve read 14 acapella groups.

All right, go ahead.

This is so fast.

1:44:11

Okay.

Okay, the callbacks the cliff notes.

It’s all female the den and tonics.

Fallen, Angels Glee Club light.

He changed.

The crocodilly owes.

The Loki’s the opportunist, the Radcliffe pitches under construction baritones box, Jazz and Shaunie.

1:44:30

I don’t know if that’s how you pronounce it.

But that’s the Jewish Affiliated one.

I’m going to be walking down the street one day and someone from the whooping cough is going to come just belt me in the nose.

They’re going to coldcock me for talking so disparagingly about the these They’re going to tell deserve it.

But you are still calling it the whooping cough.

1:44:47

Okay.

Next fact.

Next fact, we got really bogged down in the.

You said that ten percent of the auditions you went on required dancing to no music.

Do you really think it was 10%?

It wasn’t.

It was probably one percent, right?

Yeah, probably okay, but boy, 1% dancing, it feels like 50% because it’s so uncomfortable.

1:45:07

Lauren, did 113 shows on Broadway as you said, but they also did 28 previews.

So that’s 28 Edition.

Ditional shows.

Are you guys talking about therapy?

And the the kind of therapy where you have to talk to your younger self?

1:45:23

And that’s called act.

Acceptance and commitment therapy.

Oh act, they see Team act.

It’s a part of behavioral therapy.

It’s lit section of that.

In any Alexander technique in that, probably breathe into the mouth of your baby version of use mouth.

1:45:42

Oh, you guys were talking about the Dump that happens with devices, the like Omega C models that our devices are based off of.

So, I just wanted to send people to tryst on Harris who is why is the guy who worked at Google Google?

1:45:59

Yes, he made the rounds.

Yeah, and he’s, he’s hot on this topic and very interesting because he worked at Google and he knows a lot about these ethics and triggering your reward center right in your brain.

Yeah, we can’t compete.

You said, 95% of people are going to Be unemployed under Ai and Automation.

1:46:16

And I really looked and I couldn’t find 94. 95 percent is the number.

I time.

You’ve all her Ari’s both.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I always appreciate it when you pronounce his name because I can’t do it.

So, thank you for your call, her.

See your oval and I don’t even try UVA L.

I believe.

1:46:31

Okay, you’ve all.

Yeah, Rory, but he has a lot to say on this.

He was on Sam Harris and but I don’t think he says 95%.

Okay, it does say that.

It’s going to replace a lot of jobs.

Yeah many hopefully not actors.

1:46:49

Probably not actors.

What if they replace podcasters and unit listed at literally two robots talk to each other.

Could you imagine was that it?

That’s it.

Oh, thank you so much.

And also again, just a quick reminder to sprint out to amazon.com, to buy Lauren’s, new book, get in your car drive to the closest Amazon and buy her new book, which is called.

1:47:14

Monica in conclusion, don’t worry about it.

In conclusion.

Don’t worry about it.