Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Johnny Knoxville

0:00

Hello, welcome to armchair expert.

I’m your grateful host Dax Shepard.

Today.

We have an exciting guest on his name is Johnny Knoxville, but that’s not really his name.

His name is PJ or in fact, those are his initials.

So that’s not even his real name.

But just suffice to say, people call him PJ who are friends with him.

0:16

So you’ll hear me referring to him as PJ.

He has a movie coming out on June 1st called action point.

That looks hysterical.

The reason he made it is really funny.

So we were very excited to have him in today and you know, this dude is really gone through the wringer and we get into it.

0:39

I mean, he’s hurt his penis, very severely, more than once.

And you know, we got to applaud them for that and celebrate them.

That’s what we’re going to do.

Ooh, before I go on, before you enjoy PJ /, Johnny Knoxville.

I want to say that, merch orders if you pre-ordered merchandise, it is going out at the end of this week.

1:00

Which is coincidentally when Johnny’s movie comes out, so, if you’ve been patiently waiting, I thank you for your patience.

And that stuff will be coming to you shortly.

And if you want merch, please please, please go to our website.

It’s armchair expert, pod.com, armchair expert pod.com.

1:17

We have fun, fun stuff.

Mugs t-shirts, mugs shirts, t-shirts and mugs.

He’s in a wheelchair.

1:40

I do a radio show for serious and I wear the but I have to wear them half on half off because I am so loud that I need to be able to hear.

Sure.

Can I tell you what?

I like about the headphones?

What’s that?

1:56

I know you’re super curious.

I was gonna ask something about the headphones on and then I was talking in the microphones.

I kind of lose my other senses and it becomes kind of an alternate reality for me.

It almost feels like doing drugs.

2:11

There’s something about like the walking into my ears.

I’ve always noticed when I go do radio interviews.

I’m like, I feel like I’m in a good mood when I’m doing that.

Yeah, and I think it’s like, canceling out everything else.

I’d rather just do drugs.

Yeah.

Those are quicker and No, I know what you mean, but I need my foot.

2:29

I need one foot on the ground, right?

I would imagine that about you.

Yeah, okay, today our guests on armchair x 4 is, you know, Miss Johnny Knoxville, but friends, call you PJ, right?

Yeah, PJ knocks, whatever.

What’s your what’s your birth name?

2:45

Philip John clap.

Fantastic.

Yeah, so you did go by PJ as a kid.

Yeah.

And who started that your parents or you know, yeah.

My parents apparently they called me chip for like a few months, which I’m so glad that didn’t play out.

3:03

It was it while the TV show?

CHiPs was popular.

No.

No, I’ll probably well-known.

I think maybe a little bit before little overlap more chips.

Okay?

Okay.

Yeah, but you know you and I both have rich friends and do you find it?

3:19

A little the least bit bothersome when they refer to a private jet as a PJ, I’ve never heard that before.

Whatever other friends are richer.

Do mind.

Listen, we have, as many of the same friends.

Just how I know you socially.

I’ve got, that’s really annoying.

3:34

That’s like, referring to Sandra Bullock is Sandy.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, like DJ makes it sound cutesy.

Like not only are you loaded, but look how cute this is.

Gonna take a PJ or do Porto.

Rico.

God, you can get it at h.

J on the PJ.

Yeah, as well.

That’s the goal of a PJ.

3:49

Yeah, if you’re not getting a cheese, you’ve wasted you spent your money in the wrong direction.

What are you doing, but you, you all.

He’s grown up.

I’m just fixated on your name for half a second.

All your buddies called you PJ.

Yeah, or did they didn’t call you by your last name?

Because where I’m from everyone called each other by their last names.

My coaches would call me by my last name.

4:08

Clap.

Yeah, that could be a rough last name to be called in high school.

Right?

Well like in Middle School, I wasn’t even sure what it was.

But soon as I got my letters jacket freshman year, they put clap on the back and they just, I just got murdered.

Uh-huh.

What sport did you play that?

You got a jacket baseball?

4:24

Oh, really?

Yeah.

What?

Position.

I know so little about baseball, but I can picture and first base.

So you were the stud.

I thought that the two best positions and maybe shortstop or something shortstop.

Usually your best athlete catcher as well.

Catchers, like the, the quarterback.

4:40

Okay, of, I mean the picture controls the game, but the catcher controls everything else.

I’m basing, this I think on, don’t the pictures?

Get paid the most in the end.

It depends.

Okay, the beginning hit too.

Yeah, I think maybe the hitter is probably Paid as probably neck and neck.

4:59

Okay?

And how long did you play baseball from 6 until I was 18?

And I all through high school.

Yeah, and then I hurt my arm and Senior year.

So then it would baseball was done.

Heard it from pitching or heard.

It it that you did.

Did you have aspirations?

You think you were going to play in college or yeah, I could have played college ball.

5:17

Really?

Yeah, but I don’t think I would have done.

I could have done much after college ball, but right, but I could have done that and now it had all this happen to you.

You in 2018.

Could you have benefited from that surgery, people get.

Now?

I’m having you get it.

Like I supposed to get it earlier this month.

5:33

I get it maybe next month.

Could I give it to you here on the podcast?

Yes.

Yes.

I have a cadaver tendon in that little fridge, next to the Red Bull.

I love it.

Where’s the anesthesiologist is the most important?

I assume perfect.

I assumed you came with enough.

5:48

Stuff to put you out.

Right?

Right, right.

I’m gonna go over.

See, you more stuff to wake me up if you want me out.

Right, right.

That’s what part of.

They were in.

Yeah, didn’t that’s right.

Pocket not left pocket.

Part of the day.

You’re on the climb, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

When do you peek out like 4 p.m. 5 p.m.?

6:05

I usually Peter out around 6:00.

Okay bed by 9:30.

Right?

Right.

I went camping with you.

We went yes camping together.

And yeah, you put her down early, you Circle The Runway and then you start your descent.

Oh, man.

Around 9:00, right?

Yeah.

It’s pathetic.

6:21

And you did the most kind and manly thing for me.

I My car, I’ve not a great driver.

So there’s dance here and there and you just walk up with like, a dent fixing suitcase, and he just walked with on.

I didn’t ask him.

He just walked up and start fixing the dents in my car.

6:38

I was like that is so kind.

I didn’t know it was your car.

I just kept your otherwise, you’d put more dense and I wouldn’t, I would have spray-painted.

Fuck you.

Yeah, fuck you clap.

Yeah.

No, but I kept your you drive a Suburban, not to blow your identity in case people call me now, lay looking for.

6:53

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, but you drive a black Suburban.

It was we were in cabins next to one another.

So I kept walking by your suburban every time I went in and out to get a diaper or whatnot.

And I kept noticing this pretty good grapefruit sized dent in your in your Fender and I thought I just it was it drove me nuts.

7:10

I thought I bet if I pop the hood I could reach my hand in there and kind of pop that out manually.

And then you walked up and I was just under the hood of your vehicle and I had been inside the vehicle to pop the hood and whatnot and you caught me red-handed, but just to go to that place like I cuz I can’t fix anything.

7:26

Anything?

I don’t know.

Like do you even go up?

Well, if I can MacGyver that dent out I just I can’t even.

So you’re really obviously very handy.

I’m mechanical.

Yeah, and but I think OCD as well.

So just that bland that but I can’t fix anything.

7:42

What a Madness you must live because if you seen all this stuff that’s driving you nuts, but you can’t do anything about.

Oh, yeah.

That’s a Purgatory.

Yeah.

No wonder, you’re medicated.

Oh, not that kind of stuff doesn’t.

I don’t go see Dionne that kind of stuff.

Okay.

What kind of stuff you just do things repetitively?

7:58

Yes.

Okay.

Great.

Yes.

Me too.

Yeah.

Well, I’ve largely stop but as a kid, it fucking plagued me like I had these routines that took 10 minutes for me to take a shit.

I had to be bare naked for starters.

Boing.

Yeah, I had to be bare naked.

8:15

I was in a phase right to do every single thing twice, right?

So when it came time to wipe my butt.

I also had this weird OCD thing.

I had to take the toilet paper, roll walk out of the bathroom, touch the hallway, wall.

Then come back in.

Now.

I’ve got what before or after you pooped after pooped.

8:31

So yeah, I’m walking around.

Is that we obviously know clean toilet paper.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So How We Roll?

No, no, everything was nice and tidy.

Okay, but I just want you to imagine, I was back letting his mom’s wall.

I’m gonna really go for it.

8:46

So I also had to be in what is the position that people now get in with The Squatty Potty, right?

So, I basically would be standing on the toilet.

Crouch down bare naked.

Then it came time to wipe, I had to walk out in the hallway.

Touch the hallway, come back, but then I had to do that twice before, right?

9:02

Why you were still a little messy back there.

You would have to touch the wall, of course.

So you’re just, you’re just washing it around.

You’re making it so much worse for yourself, but I’m but I’m eight.

So yeah, it’s cute.

I hope like if I did this, now, it would be a real drag by just all the getting mad at and all the hair.

9:21

Well, then there was no hair back, right?

It was like, it was, it was nice and clean.

And, and then, So, my anxiety of walking into the hallway bare naked because I don’t want to see me.

I didn’t want anyone to know, I had this ritual, and then by the time I was done, I had at least 30 feet of time for that.

I didn’t need.

Oh, you wouldn’t break it off.

9:36

Well, I would, I would, I would start, you know, making it usable into usable sizes when you walked across, it was one piece.

Yes, that I was four times that I was running out like a garden hose, and I would touch the wall, and then would come back in.

And this was my ritual and I didn’t want anyone to know and we went to this amusement park.

9:54

Love hearing about your okay.

So we go to this amusement park in Ohio.

We stop at Pizza Hut on the way home.

I might have a stepdad, then I don’t like, he’s an angry man, and he’s violent.

And I go to the bathroom at Pizza Hut, I’ve been holding it all day at the amusement park.

I mean their bare fucking naked in a public bathroom, you know, crouched on the toilet seat and I’ve been in there for a while and also near its knocking at the door and it’s my step dad and he’s like, what are you doing in there?

10:21

And I was like, I felt so vulnerable because I was naked in that weird position, huh.

And then public restroom.

Public Written Dirty public restaurant, it was a fucking Pizza Hut.

So he goes, what are you doing in there?

And I go, who’s going to the bathroom?

And he goes, you better not be doing what I think you’re doing.

10:36

Which, what did he think?

Well, Darwin retrospect.

I think he was accusing me of beating off in there and the Pizza Hut in the Pizza, Hut bathroom in Ohio and Sandusky, Ohio, but I thought he meant.

Oh my God.

What are you doing?

You better not be doing.

Thank God, he knew your about your ritual.

10:53

Whole routine, and it was the most I’ve ever been in my life, but I want to hear.

Did you have these weird things as a kid?

Yeah.

I mean, I would, I mean, not that creative.

Okay.

For you for my zenith, mine way.

I would just bite my fingernails and toenails down to the quick.

11:10

Uh-huh.

Just little things like super obsessive things.

And when any has anyone ever told you what OCD comes from?

Isn’t it fear and you’re trying to control your trying to control things?

Yeah, I’ve since talk to a psychiatrist said that, that’s too simple.

It’s actually part of your brain could be bigger than the rest, but regardless, let’s say it’s control.

11:30

Do you do you remember what it was?

That was kind of chaotic that maybe when all this started my childhood, you know, sometimes my parents would fight and whatnot.

Uh-huh, so and I’m like really sensitive.

And so that would really freak me out and you have siblings.

11:46

Yes.

What order are you?

I’m the B0 your the yeah, I’ve ended they like take care of you.

And yeah, they like they ruined me, you know, that’s why you can fix anything.

Yeah.

No, I literally had to do nothing between my mom baby.

I was just, they would either be baby me, or putting me up to do something terrible.

12:06

Uh-huh.

So it was, you did your dad watch on, just go.

Oh, they’re spoiling this kid.

He’s gonna know.

He I was like a toy for them.

Uh-huh, you know, I was Rammed to attack people.

For one time.

I was three and four, you know, my dad all his friends at GoGo hit him in the cards. 34 year old, I would go and just, you know, hit somebody in the nuts as hard as I could.

12:31

And I thought that’s how you said.

Hello.

Sure.

Sorry, were you, was there a big gap between the two sisters and you, where you like, you a miracle?

Baby already know.

My dad called it, @m m baby.

What’s that mean?

You came 20 minutes duration to menopause.

12:48

Best part of you ran down your mama’s.

Crack boy.

That’s a line from Buford.

T.

Justice.

Yeah, I smell I can’t deliver it like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When we get home, I’m gonna punch your mama in the mouth.

So what state did you grow up in Tennessee, Tennessee Knoxville?

13:07

Mmm.

Yeah.

And like in a rural area or in the city.

Well, it was the city but we had a pony in our backyard because it used to be the county and then Since we got the pony grandfathered and because it used to be the county.

13:22

So there’s Woods surrounding my house, right?

And you could go get lost in there and stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was fun.

Because like my like my sister’s when I was six or seven.

They you know, they were about to move out.

Most of my childhood.

I was kind of only child in the house right after a certain point.

13:41

Yeah, and I’ve made all these assumptions about you because I’ve been I’ve known of you for 25 years now.

Like I didn’t eat I’ve I think when when the jackass first come out, even before that you guys had made a video that kind of circulated Hollywood and it was you guys doing some crazy stunts and I assume that video is used in pitching the show eventually, right?

14:03

But you had a bulletproof vest on and you got shot, right?

Well, I was supposed to get shot.

Okay, but when we got out there, my friend refused to shoot me.

Okay, so I had to shoot myself.

Oh, even worse.

What is even worse?

Because I’m like, oh God is this gonna back is this?

The back by an like I was broken the time and I bought the cheapest best.

14:23

They had.

Oh Jesus.

And I call, I’m like, hey these best, they’re good best.

Right?

And they’re like, these are the top of the line.

That is like a great because I’m going to shoot myself while wearing a bullet and they’re like, can we call you back?

Oh sure.

They called me back.

And there’s like, don’t do it.

14:39

I was like, yeah, too late.

I’ve already said I would.

I already promised.

Yeah.

Yeah, if I don’t go through with this, I’ll never hear the end.

No, I just feel where I where I can’t go back on it.

Absolutely, especially if you go out there that far, you can’t.

It’s just yeah arable.

14:56

But yeah you had so you had done that and I had seen that like somehow a good friend of mine who maybe you even knew cream.

L say if he’s now sense that you knew the linton’s right?

You knew?

Yeah.

I know, John.

Yes, aren’t ya.

So that that had ended up there in my friend was an assistant to them.

15:12

He’s like, you gotta fucking see This.

I Know video cream, was he, he’s sweet.

He’s the sweetest guy ever.

Died.

I don’t know that.

Yeah, I was at the funeral.

Oh you are.

Yeah.

Oh, that’s really nice.

So I knew of you and so and I was fascinated with you for sure.

And I thought you dressed cool and you look cool.

15:29

I just was very into the whole package and I’m from out of package, a lot of package and I’m from an area that’s on the outskirts of Detroit.

But again turns to rural Farmland, on the other side of us, right?

Just west of where I get.

So I’ve made all these assumptions about you and one of them being as you must have.

15:47

Yeah, been in the woods.

Left to your own devices as a kid lighting shit on fire and crashing shit.

And is that accurate?

Yeah, I wasn’t I was relatively Rowdy but I see is either in the woods or watching like a the Wild Bunch or Sanford and Son with my father.

16:13

We ate dinner around the television and we were constantly watching television or watching something.

Films, uh-huh.

So that was such a big.

I was either daydreaming or watching the results of other people’s Daydreams.

Yeah, but I guess what I’m saying is, I can’t imagine a kid that grew up in Manhattan has jumped over a bonfire or put a pink handful of gas in a bonfire or fucking Litton something on fire out my junk pile right now.

16:39

Where would they do that?

Yeah, so there’s a certain skill set that you can kind of hone in the country, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, so Then you you start doing the show and it’s immediately.

Everyone loves it.

16:54

Right?

It’s a, how long had you been pursuing doing something and entertainment before the show started?

What age were you when, when jackass started, when it came on the air?

I believe I was 29 and I moved out here after high school to to act, but I didn’t do any.

17:13

I just pretty much stayed loaded until I was like, 25, 24.

And then my then wife got pregnant, uh-huh.

As I gotta, I gotta think of something quick.

Yeah.

I had a daughter and that in forced me to lie.

17:30

Got an agent, uh-huh.

Started doing commercials Linson took some of the things I was writing in.

Sent it to an editor and he got me jobs writing for magazines.

Oh, really?

Yeah, like what magazines?

Were you writing bikini?

17:46

Okay, those kinds of things.

Is he famous bikini magazine magazine, a couple others they had.

And I wrote for big brother and some of the never liked vice vice was vice.

Vice wasn’t a thing that I knew of yet, right.

18:03

It probably was in New York.

Yeah, I don’t know.

Yeah.

Well, I think they started in Canada, but I didn’t know of them and for a few years, but that would have been a really good fit for you.

Oh, yeah, right.

Because there was, I remember the first time I read it was like a guy who’s just a normal.

Dude, not a addict like me is like, I’m gonna try crack.

18:22

I’m going to smoke crack for a few days.

And then he’d write an article about it.

Very dangerous.

Yeah.

Back then in the sex, drugs and rock and roll that the book, the vice book.

Uh-huh.

It just has pictures of different people on different drugs.

I thought that was great.

Stay tuned for more armchair expert.

18:40

If you dare.

When did you start doing drugs?

Well, I had allergy induced asthma.

So from 5 and 6 years old.

18:58

I was taking four five pills a day.

Really?

Yeah, when I would have a bad asthma attack in the inhaler wouldn’t work.

Sometimes it just that doesn’t help.

Yeah, I would have to go to the emergency room and they would shoot me up.

19:14

They give you a shot.

Adrenaline.

Yes.

Yes, and it is.

It’s quite a jolt.

I’ve had it for bee stings.

I’m allergic.

Yeah, especially when you’re a little, it’s an electrifying experience.

Yeah, you’re real shaky.

Yeah, but it really, it really.

19:30

Then you get a breathing treatment and then I would start settling down.

Uh-huh.

So I just so you’ve had a relation where ship with your body is you can’t regulate your body basically and there’s these outside things you put in your body and then you gets to where you want to be.

So that’s like Kind of a formative relationship with anything, right?

19:49

Yeah, you know, like people are like, oh, I hate the hospital this or that and I get it.

But with me, I would be so scared when I would get in the these attacks that when I go to the hospital, I would feel better after.

So I always that was my first so I had to defy with that.

20:07

Yeah, you have a supposed to The Dread of it.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

You have a great association with the hospital and I’m in them a lot.

Sure.

Doing stunts.

Oh, It’s like they make me feel better that.

Yeah fix things.

So how do you go from auditioning for presumably?

Like, you know KFC ads and whatnot to deciding.

20:25

I’m going to do this thing.

I’m going to do crazy stunts and no one else will do and then I’m going to try to make that a show.

How does that come about?

You know, I love Hunter S Thompson Ryan.

So a lot of the articles I was doing was like my poor man’s imitation of a.

20:41

Participatory sure Gonzo journalism in And so, it started down that route and and then I had an idea for an article.

I saw some guy getting pepper sprayed on the news when other as though, that was so funny.

20:56

Sure.

And so I’m like, I should do an article where I get pepper sprayed, stun gun, taser, gun, and then I’ll check, you know, test the bulletproof vest on myself and everyone loved the idea, but no one wanted to partes afford or participate, they would like bring it to us afterwards.

21:14

Well, I don’t have any I need to buy any of that stuff.

Right?

And so the only magazine that would have anything to do with.

It was Big Brother.

Jeff tremaine’s magazine who went on to direct jackass and okay, and I was just going to write an article and they were doing skateboard videos.

21:30

They’re working on their second one and he goes will film it too.

Uh-huh.

Okay, that’s great.

Yeah, but then, I show up to the the camera guy.

The next morning, I pull up to get him and I’m alright, get in.

And he goes, okay.

21:45

Okay, here’s the camera hit play here.

I’m like, you’re not coming.

I can’t because there was a gun involved.

No 11.

Even sure I want to be involved with it.

Well, there’s like three layers.

A A.

You don’t want to witness someone fucking die.

That’s just out of the gates.

When you wake up in the morning.

22:00

You’re like, I hope I don’t see any.

Yeah.

Yeah, and then secondly the liability of it.

Right.

Right.

I don’t want to be in a courtroom or be deposed over this.

Yeah, my not.

That guys took photos for me.

Jeff Bender.

He had we got out there and he was trying to talk me out of it.

22:19

He’s like I saw a friend of mine died once doing a stunt.

I’m like that.

That’s not helping Jeff.

Right?

Not the time.

And yeah.

Yeah, but there is yeah.

It was it was pretty similarly.

I once was in an off-road race and you know, I had some nerves about it.

22:37

And as I pulled up the guy who started the race, had a claw in his face was completely melted because He had caught fire in an off-road race and he was, he’s the last thing you see every racer sees, as you, and I was like, I had, you know, I prepared for maybe, you know, stiff neck or a broken bone, but I do not think I might be melted.

22:59

Yeah.

Yeah, it was, it was very disturbing.

Does it fill you with confident?

No, it’s may be at the Finish Line.

You bring that guy out.

He should be giving everyone The Checkered Flag, but not like, have a good race.

Yeah.

When you’re doing something, anything along those.

Lines, you have to commit.

23:16

Yeah, that’s anything that says like that.

You see, or someone’s telling you not to do it.

It just it’s, I can’t even when we’re doing stunts today.

If someone’s - on the set, uh-huh, we’ll just II.

Won’t you pull the plug?

23:32

Yeah, and we’ll do it another time.

Okay, and so can you compartmentalize the death?

Like you can just remove that from your brain as an option?

Yeah II.

Don’t go there like a few.

Days out.

You think about that?

You like all the you kind of go over all the bad things that can happen.

23:50

Yeah, but as it gets closer, I just try to calm down.

And then my magical thinking kicks in and then whatever, fears left.

I just override.

Uh-huh, but as which is not the healthiest thing ever.

Yeah, whatever.

But I think it’s rare to be able to do that.

24:07

Yeah, most people the closer you get, the more hyper has a.

Yeah, but as a kid like I have to.

Yeah.

I just don’t think I want to be clear on before we move on, is as a kid.

Were you a daredevil or was this something that you decided?

Fuck it.

I have to I have to be willing to do whatever.

24:22

The it takes, two to be successful at journalism, or be successful, in another area.

Or were you always that?

I wasn’t like rowdiest guy in the class, but I was pretty Rowdy.

Sure.

My father, best explained it Rolling Stone.

24:40

It asked him.

Why does he do what he does?

He’s like, well, he’s like it, Dominican.

Baseball player.

He gonna get off that Island by Bunton.

It’s a, that’s probably a really great amount.

Yeah, I what I was at that point of like I have a daughter now and I had something and fast.

24:59

Yeah, and I just took all my interest at that moment which were like a Hunter.

S Thompson on.

Did you like Bukowski?

Yes.

Yeah, love love because he was John fante.

Oh sure.

Ask.

Dusk, I had the bit where I have my daughter.

25:17

My she was born when I was 24.

I, yeah, I so.

Yeah, I was terrified.

Yeah.

Now look, I would have been an alcoholic.

I think no matter what happened, but I definitely think during that period, I needed relief like, I needed.

I needed some hours of the day where I wasn’t obsessing about the fact that I was accomplishing.

25:36

Nothing.

I needed relief very badly right now.

How long have you been sober 13 years?

Oh congratulations.

Yeah.

Thank you.

But yes, I was.

Is a very heavy drug user and in a full-blown alcoholic, but for many years I was like, yeah, functioning.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I went to college and stuff and I went to through the Groundlings and stuff.

25:55

But I was like, oh, I want to be Bukowski.

So I’m killing it.

Like my heroes were Hunters.

Thompson, Bukowski, all these other, you know, country Outlaw musicians.

So it didn’t.

I did feel how you choose Your Heroes.

Yeah, for real.

26:11

I didn’t have any shame really about it like for if I would blow for.

On a bender, I would think.

Yeah, I’m Bullseye in what my heroes did.

Ya Townes Van Zandt?

Did it?

Why can’t I?

Yeah, if you I’m sure you have.

If you watch the tales from the tour bus thing that judge, I love it.

26:26

Oh, it’s so good.

It’s amazing and I had read Whelan’s autobiography so I thought it was really up to speed on him.

But there’s a did you watch the two-part while and while it I’ve seen seeing them all.

Okay.

Well and Jennings is my hands-down favorite musician ever.

26:43

Yeah.

And It’s the greatest test of him is when you put them in The Highwaymen and now he’s with the best.

He’s with the best of the best.

And when he comes and starts singing, you go on.

All right, that’s the top of the mountain right there.

Well, I was a dam builder cross the river deep and wide and you’re like, oh shit wailing wailing is so I mean, just he was like a handsome guy and had the amazing boys and a wonderful guitar player and he was really, he was an Outlaw country guy.

27:13

He’s also up punk.

Yeah, tonal, he was very, he was a punk, rock, hillbilly, and weirdly liberal to, for that scene.

Like he was, I mean America, that song America.

He’s like very inclusive of Native Americans and all these things.

And but there’s a part in that tour Tales from the tour bus where there that he and the band are, you know, his old band mates were talking about like how many and feta mean pills, they would be taken in the right before the show.

27:35

They just kind of make sure they were all on kind of the same level.

Yeah.

I was taking the same drug.

Yeah, and the guy goes out, he goes up.

I’ll take in 60 Mike’s taken six.

A horse.

How many of you take and Wellesley 30?

Yeah, times 5 of what everyone else was that?

27:51

I don’t think I really realized that the appetite he had.

I knew he was like full blown Coke addict, but I didn’t realize like the real appetite, like Aquila week.

He I mean, Johnny Cash will take 100 dexedrine, add a 100.

Ohm and and wailing.

28:09

I heard like they would like go through a now not like oze of blow.

Day, yeah, you know, an eight ball would be fine for all five.

Six people in this room for a whole great, honey.

I mean, the out, the country, Allah country guys partied.

28:25

So much harder than any of the rock guys are either Punk, guys.

It’s you’re not even, they’re not even on the scoreboard and it’s under this veil of like wholesome music like a middle of America.

Yes, some music.

It’s really funny and ironic.

Yeah, but I would imagine because when they got into the details of him like regularly his Jules up up for five days down for two days.

28:47

Yeah, out for five days.

And I was thinking my goodness.

What did he feel like towards the end?

Yeah, I think over it.

Yeah, probably all, you know.

Yeah, but you make all these decisions when you’re young and you’re kind of proceeding through life as if you’re never going to see 40, right?

Isn’t that kind of the moon?

29:03

No.

No, I didn’t.

I wasn’t in.

I wasn’t in that mindset.

I don’t mean like, you’ll be dead but just like who gives a shit about 20 years from now.

In that, I was in that mindset, right?

But I wasn’t into know.

29:19

I’m going to die before 40 my own.

Oh, yeah, but I just thought I’m not just am not too worried about how I’m going to feel at 40.

Yeah, but I don’t think that that’s really special to you.

And I think that’s just how kids are.

Yeah, most of them.

29:35

I think you’re right, but I do think a lot of people were very afraid of drugs.

The long-term effects of drugs, right?

And I just wasn’t that concerned about it.

Well, if you Taking them.

You’re not going to be like the people that were concerned weren’t taking them as yet.

We didn’t have those concerns.

29:51

Yes.

Okay.

So you have this video.

I see it.

It kind of goes all around Hollywood and then you magically get you some how you get MTV to get on board.

And how did they deal with the liability of that?

They only had to deal with it for nine months and then I quit the show.

Oh you did.

Yeah.

30:06

Why?

Because we unfortunately had some copycat incidents where How people got hurt.

Yeah.

And what you did and then it was an election year and Joseph Lieberman picked our show and me personally to come down on and they can any Washington came down on Viacom and he really, and it got impossible to do the show only are for nine months, but they buy them in blocks of 8 and they call that ate a season.

30:36

Even though it may be last three months by the time, the third season.

The, you know, we’re into RC.

Six months.

They all these lawyers were on and we you can’t jump off anything or feet or higher.

Haha.

What do we what are we doing?

30:52

Yeah, you know, yeah, it’s so I decided I didn’t want to none of us wanted to do a watered-down version of the show.

So I just quit MTV was very upset contractually.

They certainly had you legally for five or six or seven years, right?

Yeah, probably.

31:08

But I didn’t read the contract just as quick.

Okay, and but out of that came.

The a good result is we did the movie and then that all the, then we could do whatever we want it because it was are rated in.

31:25

We did it opened up, we could do the things we couldn’t do on television, but we still were.

So am I delusional in my mind?

There were many seasons 24 episodes that you shot all at once, and then you never did it again.

Yeah, 24 episodes over nine months.

Maybe they’re in there was two specials so 26 and that’s it, but they aired it for ya.

31:45

I’m completely and 12 years.

If you would ask me how many years that show is on, how many seasons I would have definitely thought six or seven.

Oh, yeah, it was on for and yeah, we ran those up.

Yeah.

Well then that kind of ruins one of my questions because the most exciting thing for me because I’m a longtime fan of Brad Pitt’s.

32:05

I just I’m so in love with him.

I can’t stand it.

Yeah.

And fucking Brad Pitt was on the show on a sewed, right?

You guys had abducted him.

Yeah, we did two things with them.

So it clearly edited aired enough for him to see it to them.

32:21

I assume that call came in from him, right?

You guys weren’t sitting around going.

Yeah, we should reach out to Brad Pitt.

Or did you hmm?

No, it was.

I think he was at spikes one day and we started talking or spike.

32:37

It already talked to him about it.

Okay, I think Spike maybe said, hey Brad Pitt’s up for doing something and but it had narrowed yet.

It had already.

It’s already been on television.

Okay?

For a couple three months.

Okay, so he had some sense of what he was saying yesterday.

Yeah, and and he came on the set.

32:54

And we first, we did the thing where he had duck abducted him.

I should sing it if the hot dog.

What’s the hot dog place?

So Hanks pink?

Yeah, uh-huh, and then we put them in a gorilla suit, and we were just bombing the hill on Vine and yucca and shopping.

33:14

It’s right, not shopping carts.

It was like little, you know little four-wheelers or something.

Okay, and we were all like worried you to kill.

Brad Pitt.

Yeah, Channel treasure.

Yeah, you don’t need to get hurt man.

33:31

We need you to be because we were all concerned because he’s such a good guy and Herschel amazingly handsome.

Oh my God.

Yeah, but no, he just takes off down the middle of the street of where anyone can get him to stop.

He was down.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, well, that’s the thing.

33:47

Even over delivers.

Doesn’t mean that son of a bitch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He couldn’t be any, you know, he’s a great guy.

Yeah, and he’s from Oklahoma, or some shit like that.

It was Jerry.

You Missouri.

Yeah, so he’s letting some shit on fire.

I think out in the woods.

34:03

Yeah, he’s Rowdy.

Yeah.

Yeah, he’s Rowdy.

We love to everybody loves.

Did it cross your mind of?

Like, we gotta we gotta get em in a stone.

We gotta get that top off ASAP.

No, we put them in a gorilla suit the most.

Yeah.

Some guy on the planet and covered him up in a gorilla suit.

34:18

You wouldn’t the opposite direction.

Every idea what I had with been set in a swimming pool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Rahat beat.

Yeah.

I don’t blame you or at least minimally raining, you know, yeah.

Yeah.

Get that sheer see-through thing.

Yeah, it can be almost better than the shirt off.

34:33

Yeah.

So what is your like, you know, what is your ego and your identity doing in that moment, where you start this little thing?

It’s impossible and then all of a sudden you you have the biggest movie star on the planet.

Dating in your little show.

What do you?

What’s that experience?

Like it was pretty overwhelming, you know, yeah.

34:52

For a few for a few years.

It was you felt like you’re living someone else’s life, but just You know, like we were talking about earlier, be careful how you choose Your Heroes.

Uh-huh.

Because it’s like, well, they were living it up.

35:10

Yeah, so I should probably live it up and that takes a toll after a while.

Uh-huh.

And you have to reel it in at some point.

Yeah.

Well, I gotta say again having been a fan of yours and looking at you from the outside and also having the relationship I’ve had with drinking and doing drugs.

35:30

You’re fascinating to me because you somehow like played around the fire Non-Stop and then you just didn’t go down.

Yeah, like right.

You went is I want to be as far as you can go without literally needing to go to rehab or two, you know, ending up in jail or whatever the fuck the things we do.

35:51

And I remember watching you thinking, like God, is he gonna be able to fucking ride this unicycle and then to my amazement, you’re one of the handful of people that like got to do it hard and then somehow didn’t go all the way and people around you died, right?

Yeah.

36:07

Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

You know, I don’t know.

I just I also had a kid, so that kept me that kept me from going overboard.

That’s what you were.

Yeah, that tied to the dock with a little bit.

36:23

She save save me.

Yeah, how old is she now 22.

She’s graduating college.

Have you ever told her that or is that too?

Weird of a conversation?

Yeah, that would be because you’d be admitting how much shit you did or just it would be too.

Team down, and I don’t know how Udall.

36:42

I don’t know how you deliver that.

That’s a lot of energy coming at your child.

You know, there’s, that’s a lot of pressure at stuff till I oh, I recognize it actually be way more for you than for her.

Yeah.

Think if my dad, who my dad was a Coke addict and then got sober and died sober.

36:59

But if he had told me boy, if it wasn’t for you, I would have gone all the way and died.

I guess.

Yeah.

That maybe just maybe be weird.

Yeah.

Yeah, when I said it first that sounded really flattering, like, it would really warm her hard.

Well, yeah, I don’t know.

I, well, I guess let me, let me, let me come in at from another angle.

37:18

I think we’d all like, to think we save someone’s life before we die.

That’s kind of a cool thing.

Yeah, like if you saw someone drowning her, whatever pulled someone over car crash.

Yeah, I’m just assuming, it’s kind of a, you know, like a really ubiquitous desire for us to save someone’s life, but I’m rethinking the whole thing.

37:35

Maybe she’s an armchair and she’ll find out.

Yeah, but you said his name?

Spike Jones, he was involved right from the get-go.

Yeah, what Jeff and I were trying to figure out what kind of show we wanted to do.

We’re trying to develop a TV show and then Jeff and went to high school with Spike and Maryland.

37:51

It’s all real friends.

I knew spike a little, but Jeff and him were really close at the time.

Yeah, and he goes, well, you should we see if Spike wants to do this with us.

Yeah, like yes.

Yeah, at that point.

What he had done, the the Sabotage video.

38:07

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean what howdy Holly video the I know you’d like so many huge videos.

He was right?

And he was just getting, I think he may have been working on Being John Malkovich time.

38:23

But what a what a, what a lucky coincidence that Spike Jones is in your circle at that time, right?

Oh, this guy’s one of the most gifted human beings alive.

Do we agree?

Yeah.

I know 100%, 100% in, he’s not good at this, or that.

He’s good at it.

38:39

All.

I’m every side of the business, like the business side, entertaining the creative.

Uh-huh.

He he sees it.

He sees the whole field.

Did you see her?

Yeah, it’s brilliant.

I felt physically love sick for like four days after I saw it.

38:56

I don’t think I’ve had that feeling from a movie.

And any time I can remember, but I was like, I just felt like someone someone.

I love.

Broke up with me for like four days.

Yeah.

It’s it.

Emotionally put you through the wringer.

Is wonderful, just brilliant writing and execution and yeah, top to bottom.

39:14

So the movies they don’t know what your expectations were, but just me again on the outside thinking.

Oh, they’re doing a movie.

You know, that’ll be cool.

What were your expectations low?

We never thought the show is going to get on TV, right?

39:30

And then we did a movie like no one’s going to come see it.

Right?

And so it’s everyone felt that way.

Yeah.

So we will it’s a reality movie.

I don’t even know if what were other reality features films.

39:45

Then, we’re there any.

I can’t remember and I have no clue.

Yeah, so you’re like basically, this is a documentary.

You guys are releasing a documentary documentaries.

Don’t make a hundred million dollars.

One has.

Yeah.

How much did the first one?

Make you don’t?

And if you can’t remember monocle, say, in the fact, check later over 100 million, right?

40:03

Yeah, I believe.

So.

I can’t remember.

Yeah, and you’ve made.

How many of them 33?

They’ve all been gigantic.

They I think each one is done better so that we’ve been very lucky.

Yeah.

Spec.

Yeah.

In Bad.

40:18

Grandpa did good.

It’s not a it’s kind of from the same.

It is from the same thing, but not everyone was involved.

Right?

Are you uncomfortable talking about money?

I guess.

Yeah.

I mean, I’m not uncomfortable talking about your money, but I’m gonna cry, right?

40:36

Yeah, you care.

About money.

Let’s start II is as long as I do, is to the point where I need to support my family, right?

You know, but I think again, if you have a family, I can’t not imagine feeling that way, right?

40:52

Because that’s the center of your, that’s the center of your whole life.

You have to ride the depend on you and you want to take care of them.

Yeah, but were, did you get a sense of relief on those movies did?

What they did?

I, I was just I would be relieved that I’m still Walking right rare, was that relief at the end of every film of like, thank God, I, you know, your not in a wheelchair.

41:18

Yeah, like, I felt that way, at the end of action point to the movie that you’re, yeah, that’s coming up June 1st.

What happened in that that you?

Well, I’d it’s, it’s a was inspired by Action Park, which was the most dangerous theme park of all time.

41:34

It was insane.

There’s a 40 minute doc.

Online that everyone should watch the owner was like I’m not gonna hassle the kids with a bunch of rules.

Let’s leave safety up to them and he did and it was a shit show.

Okay.

What state was this New Jersey in the seventies and eighties for class actions or jurisprudence?

41:53

Yeah.

Yeah in the documentary, like, what were people dying at this place?

Yeah, there were some of those, some of those instances.

Oh my goodness.

Yeah.

It was.

Wow.

So a lot of injuries.

This swimming pool.

They had a couple Bad, the way people.

42:09

They had a couple of bad instances.

Sure.

In a ventually painted the bottom of it.

Black to make it easier to find the bodies home.

I yeah, that’s wow.

What was this is more like a haunted house.

It was but no documentary.

All the kids that went there just loved it.

42:26

It was like Lord of the Flies, you know, if you survived in a major Stronger?

Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Because I mean it was you made you like help your immune system like girls would go in the water and get yeast infection.

For some, everything was so dirty.

All right.

Yeah, so it really thinned out the herd probably.

42:43

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you saw that documentary and you said, this has to be a movie?

Yeah, Derek fraida sent me the documentary and he’s like, you have to see this.

Uh-huh.

And that’s what inspired the movie.

And like, I’m the owner of a dangerous theme park and that’s a great world where I can do all my own stunts.

43:03

And I asked the stunt guys.

I’m asking you to do them like me.

No, cutting on the action node.

Ads.

Right going, we’re not going to pads.

We’re going to dirt or concrete and we did.

And yeah, it was a near surgeries ever on a movie for me.

43:19

Oh, really?

Yeah.

How old are you now?

Forty?

Seven, ish?

Yeah, and it says it hurt more.

Now.

No, it doesn’t know hurts the same.

Okay, but but I never was in that.

Did you guys was in, never, too involved with that side of it?

43:36

Uh-huh.

I just wanted the footage.

Each.

Yeah, I knew the hurt was coming.

But I just want the footage and I can I can deal with that side of it.

Can I ask a question?

I want to ask you earlier, when you complete a stunt.

What is the feeling?

Is it relief?

Or is it excitement or both, or what is it?

43:55

I do.

Because I’m so scared of everything.

So I can, I could never do that.

And I don’t know what that feeling would be.

It’s yeah, it’s overwhelming relief and enjoy.

For having done something, just that I’m I’m walking away from there was sometimes I don’t want some times.

44:13

I got knocked out a few times.

They the stunt coordinator Charlie Grisham.

He says I always know when you’re concussed because you get so sweet afterwards.

Nice.

Oh, yeah.

I’m so sweet.

44:29

Talking to him.

When I usually just talk shit to each other.

Do you freak out when you see these documentaries about CTE, this Sword or whatever.

The football thing is a brain disease.

Do you like spin out about that?

I don’t spin out but it is a area of concern.

44:48

And I have a neurologist that I gotten.

You know, that I see in there in the middle of doing some tests and Baseline test after we get finished filming action point.

And that point, I just had three concussions and I was in the middle of doing the Baseline test and we did reshoots.

45:06

I got another can Shouldn’t.

So I have to go back and start those all over again.

But at the time, my brain to completely reset itself.

Oh, really and how could he determine that?

Is he looking in there with, like a pet scan or something?

Yeah, I had like, yeah, there was a lot of little helmet on with that.

45:22

There’s a lot of things and you have to do little tests.

A lot of tests.

You can’t really test forward unless it’s a autopsy, but I think, right.

I heard recently that there is some kind of And something you can do.

45:40

So you’ll probably be looking into that.

Uh-huh.

Didn’t mean to bring you down.

No.

No, I know.

I’m just I because it I don’t know how that you have, because of that, and be funny.

Well, I haven’t.

Yeah.

Because I haven’t had a tenth of the many as you, but I had such a bad one that I will be watching that.

45:58

And I’m like, oh my God is my personality going to radically change it 50, you know, like when you hear these stories before?

Yes, it’s really scary.

I mean, if I Got to lose anything.

Literally your brains.

The last thing you want to go bad on you.

Right times.

You can go more impulsive and angry.

46:14

Yes, a lot of those.

Yeah, the wives will describe like all of a sudden I was living with a guy.

I’d never met.

Yeah, he was violent explosive and all these things.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you’re with a ball or she’ll tell you right away if you start acting different.

Oh, yeah knows karate.

She’s not fucking around.

So you got more heard on this than anything.

46:33

Yeah, did you or you did they ever have to shut down production while you healed from something?

Yes, at the end of the by the end of the film, they can only film one side of my face.

What would it be a spoiler?

46:48

If you told me what happened to the other side of your face?

We put all the most dangerous stunts to the end.

And one was a I go I go flying off the Alpine Slide.

Okay, and we had been tested a bunch of with a stunt guy.

He would go off and and pads and a hell.

47:04

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah and we had Where I realized flying like 20 feet in the air about six feet off the ground, uh-huh, but when he would land he would kind of roll out of it.

Yeah, I don’t want it.

I first of all, I couldn’t if I try but I definitely didn’t want to like look, make it.

47:21

Well.

Yeah, so boy, did I stick The Landing?

Oh, you did.

Yeah, wonderful.

And I flew through the air like 20 feet.

And then the only thing that stopped my forward.

Momentum was my face hitting the ground.

I get the worst concussion.

47:38

I couldn’t remember where I was really and I told him Los Angeles.

I was a Cape Town.

Could remember so many.

My memory came back and got checked out and the hospital went back to my hotel room, had blood in my nose.

47:55

So I blew my nose, and when I blew my nose, my eye started coming out of its socket and I popped it back in.

Went back to the emergency room.

And what happened was, I didn’t know.

I had they told me that on impact, my orbital lamina bonehead just disappeared.

48:12

It was just powdered.

And when I was blowing my nose, I was blowing air behind.

Yes.

You just not expecting it.

Yeah, it really comes out of nowhere.

He probably came out of nowhere.

Really?

Blindsided.

Yeah.

I just so relaxed.

Be back to the hotel room.

Take it easy.

Yeah.

48:27

And then high boiling.

Oh my goodness.

And how on Earth did they fix that?

What do you have like a cheetah mandible in there now or something?

I well.

Well, I didn’t they just had to watch it for a few weeks and you can blow your nose obviously or sneeze for six weeks.

48:44

Oh boy, and I’m really bad allergies.

So has this like I don’t know how this is gonna work.

Right?

No pepper on your food, but they taught like apologist was like, oh well, if you do have to do it like this and just let it all go.

Don’t try to hold anything back.

49:00

Uh-huh, and you could really shoot your eyeball across.

Yeah room.

Yeah.

I can ping pong ball in but then like five.

Later, I’m walking around Cape Town with Pontius and he says something funny.

I got an eye patch on and hopeful I’m tired.

And for whatever reason I laughed and I grabbed my dog.

49:16

He’ll and throwing it comes out again.

Oh my God.

Double vision.

I put it back in but it only happened twice just the totality of all the injuries in the movie at the end.

I you know, it was it was a lot and I lost my mother in November and we like and I got another concussion and lost a few.

49:36

Your teeth after that.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

So did you have these talks with yourself at all?

We are like, you mean it like existential crises where you’re like, what’s the end of this?

How many times do I need to do this?

Do you have any of those kind of moments?

I realized that I only Can you can only take so many chances?

50:00

Yeah, and I’ve been very I mean I’ve been injured a lot but I’ve been very lucky.

Yeah, so I know it eventually has to stop.

I’m pretty.

I’m not very body conscious.

Thank God.

I have to go to the doctors.

Like, I don’t know, one, couple hours once or twice a month.

50:19

I go see some doctor for something.

Aha.

My back was pretty bad for a while, but it’s kind of even Even down.

But something happened to your penis.

You were saying on Stern, right?

Yeah, broke.

My penis wants to an offense.

No, I was trying to backflip a motorcycle.

50:36

Uh-huh.

And I don’t know how to ride a motorcycle.

Sure.

I saw a bunch of yours downstairs.

You like you’re a very manly man.

Can fix dance riding motorcycles.

But I literally Travis Pastrana.

I had to let out the clutch for me when I was trying to backflip a motorcycle and he’s like, whatever you do when you come off.

50:55

Ramp.

Don’t let go of the motorcycle because it’ll turn, go, 20 feet up, turn into a rocket, and come back down.

Hit you.

Ooh, but sometimes, when I’m doing stunts, I’m people are talking to me, but I’m not listening.

Yeah, you’re in.

You’re like zone.

I’m just somewhere else.

Uh-huh.

And I guess that was one of those moments.

Yeah, because about the fourth.

51:11

I think.

Maybe every time I let go of the motorcycle ride at all times.

Yeah.

And on the fourth time, I let go go straight up in the air and my knees are behind.

I hit my down my back up.

My knees are behind my head.

51:26

Uh-huh.

And the Motorcycle comes down and breaks its handlebars off of my crotch.

Oh my God.

Yeah, their blood.

Well, I didn’t, I felt like I was peeing, my pants.

Sure.

So I looked, I unzipped in every time my heart would be blood, would shoot out my penis.

51:42

How many people are watching your penis project?

I only, I only saw that I do mat Hoffman or Travis may have been standing there, but I don’t know.

Okay, but I walked over to the doctor.

The set the EMT.

I’m like is this bad?

Oh, I knew it was bad.

52:00

I didn’t know that was a little really.

We have to get you to the hospital right now because you can bleed out really quick, right?

There’s a ton of yeah.

Yeah, but internally, did it cut the base of your penis your though.

You’re in.

Knee up your urethra.

Yeah, it-it’s ever any of your vas deferens.

52:16

No, no.

Bad as is doing fine.

It is grass.

Okay, so you can get erections and whatnot.

Yeah.

Well, it’s funny cuz yeah, I had to go straight in surgery.

My, and the doctor came in and talked to me now.

He was there.

Huh?

My wife.

Beautiful.

Nice.

52:31

Kind wise.

Yeah, so sweet and risk adverse.

Yeah, level.

Yeah, totally level solid.

Yeah.

Yeah, the rock.

I think.

God.

She’s a rock.

Yes, you’re orbiting her.

Yeah.

I’m kind of hovering around and, but she was the doctor came out and like, okay, you have to go into surgery and he walked out and she was telling me he’s going to be okay when I started getting an erection, right then, when she was telling, you know, giving me a hug.

52:57

So I’m like, okay.

Well, that’s good news.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Just from a hug.

Yeah.

Oh wow.

Have a great imagination.

I think you’re more of your aisle than I am.

I’m envious, get hard from a hug.

Yeah, it’s your life from your wife of a while at that point.

53:13

No.

No, she was she was new.

Well, I mean, that still happens.

Oh from huh?

Oh my God, that’s really romantic.

Yeah, and you met her.

53:29

Or why do kill me for saying that?

It’s a big compliment.

Thanks for saving it.

Yeah, how could she know?

But on your way to the hospital, while your, your dick is draining tons of blood.

You must be thinking of the worst scenario, right?

53:46

Like, well, that’s a wrap on that dick.

It’s gone.

No, I mean they’ve taken there’s a given loading the back of the emergence of the ambulance ambulance and I was posing and up flexing and yeah, I was, there was no able to schedule crisis.

54:01

And that moment soaking up the attention.

Yeah, the most popular guy there.

Yeah.

I have a granddaughter.

I’m oh, my goodness.

I had to catheter twice a day for three and a half years after that.

Oh my God.

54:17

It’s a big like cat 16 inch long catheter bigger than the number two pencil.

Okay, which is weird because I’m sitting on two inches.

Okay, just have to put it all the way in until it hit bladder.

And then you have to push a little when it hit your bladder.

54:33

You have to push a little harder for it to go in and soon as it went in P.

All the people would rush out it just start spraying out.

Yeah, you just spray out and you had to lube it.

Sure.

Because it was you had to wet it and get it all lubed up before you put it in.

54:50

But after doing when I first started doing it, I was very careful, but you do it for a few months and it’s just like, okay, but sometimes all the lube wouldn’t be activated and it’s just like sandpaper where it’s not activated.

This is my, I gotta say, I think that’d be my worst nightmares have to put something in my We throw over.

55:10

No, it’s got to be the most excruciating experience it.

Yeah, it really didn’t feel great at first, but like, when I woke up one morning in my boxers were covered in blood.

Oh boy, and I was, I just like, I hope it’s the front.

55:27

I hope it’s the front and I don’t know why I was.

So it’s today.

I front or back.

It’s terrible.

Yeah.

It’s a terrible time with have I’m with you, but I don’t want to be hemorrhaging blood out of my ass, but I but I had done it so Fast that I ripped it open again, but not as bad as the first time that happened a couple times.

55:44

Oh, PJ got to be more careful.

If you seen those commercials with the old cowboy, who says he’s been Katherine for 25 years, whatever.

She knows, though, the catheter commercials the catheter Cowboy.

Yeah.

I haven’t.

I don’t know if I’ve seen the catheter Cowboy, but I’ve seen some catheter commercials and well, they got this one in particular, where it’s an old catheter cow, PA.

56:03

You can we got here.

We need a spokesperson.

John Oliver has now kind of Taken charge of that.

It’s a real commercial.

So, but then he hired a guy that does it just the same.

But what’s so great about the commercial.

I don’t think anyone’s really thought of as is this guy goes.

Hey, I’ve been cowboying for 25 years and I cast every day.

56:21

That’s how it starts, right?

Half.

Yeah, he uses that as a, as a verb.

And the interesting thing is, when you’re looking at this guy, the guy has to be 75, right?

So I thought, wait, he started cowboy and have 50 years.

This doesn’t make any sense.

Right?

56:36

No one fucking crunch.

The numbers on this commercial.

This is We never been on a horse or anything, but at least go.

I’ve been cowboying 450 year.

I try five.

Well, I mean, you’re writing the cath commercial, you know, he’s probably this is no assessment of his intelligence or not.

56:52

But who knows.

If he even knows what Kathleen is.

I mean, it’s, it could if you’ve not cast.

Yeah, you might even think you’re selling some other product, you know, didn’t know how, did I not get that spot?

You listen.

I can’t imagine a better celebrity-endorsed.

I mean, you the new cath Cowboy he goes I hate being in pain when a cat so I use he’s got some great product that makes Kathleen a breeze.

57:16

Why would he be in pain?

When he, I guess if I guess if the shaft was too big.

It could really.

Yeah, I think it’s implicit and just that his cowboy on that.

That urethra is very girthy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He just looks like he’s got a big old garden hose.

Yeah, it’s like his catheters.

57:33

Like, this eyes are roll of Dimes.

When do you meet Naomi?

What age I can’t remember you around that around there.

And did she change your life?

Yes.

She did.

She did I known her?

57:48

A little before.

And at that time of my life, she like she wanted.

She’s like I can’t.

Be around the fan work show.

Yeah, and I didn’t hear from her for a long time.

And then she came back into my life and I always said if she Comes back into my life.

58:10

I’m going to settle down.

Yeah, and then you were able to do that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Was it easy or hard?

No, it’s just something I wanted to do.

Right?

So I wasn’t you were right?

Wasn’t hard.

Yeah, I was ready.

58:25

Okay, you liked women know, right?

I like them a lot.

Yeah, would you say that?

That was that the number one drug?

Yeah.

That was that was that was part of it.

Uh-huh.

And how do you, how do you shut it off?

58:41

Because I have my own personal Journey with that.

Yeah.

I just didn’t want to lose her.

Okay, that’s great.

So, My thing was it had run the same course as drugs had and I didn’t want it for me.

Right, you know I’m saying so when we met she’s like Kristen was like I’m not sure I could ever trust.

59:01

You really giving your history and I’m like, that’s a legit concern.

I said, the only thing I could say to maybe help you would be that.

I’m not I’m not going to do it for you because I’m doing it for you and I’m in China some time.

And I know think anyone knows me, you know, who knows what I do?

59:16

If I think I can get away with it, I said, but if it’s for me, I can’t get away with exhibits for me, you know.

Again, I don’t know what your experience was.

But mine was, you know, towards the end before I met Kristin.

It was just like drugs.

It was like, okay.

59:32

I need to regulate how I feel right now, right?

And it just like you drugged you think it’s making you feel better or huh, adds to your self-worth, or ya know, it’s just weird the validate here.

59:47

Aizen’s you’re doing it.

Well, mine was like a Minds addicted to validation, I pinpointed Someone I’m sure would never like me.

This person went like me, and then I go to task trying to win them over by being funny or dancing, or whatever.

Goddamn.

Do you think they want?

1:00:03

And then I and then if I can get them to like me, I think I’m gonna feel better about myself.

You grew up.

Your dad was an alcoholic or drug addict love women.

Yeah, so you that was your model and you and you also like, you always wanted.

Well, I called to like you.

1:00:19

I wanted everyone to like me because it’s yeah.

Child of an addict.

Yeah.

Yeah, and also I didn’t do well with girls for a long time and then all of a sudden, I started skateboarding, my brother made me do my hair certain way and started dressing me a certain way and then all these girls like me and I was like, get the fuck out of here and it was, I couldn’t stop writing.

1:00:36

Didn’t didn’t ever stop until you know, 11 years ago.

Yeah, because I wanted it so bad.

Like Elementary School.

All my buddies had girlfriends and stuff and none of them like me and, you know, all kinds of stuff.

I also think I got molested.

I think that’s somehow in the stew.

Some we’re going over sexualized.

1:00:53

That’s rough.

Yeah, we can edit that out of that makes.

No I mean but I think it’s all in the soup for me and mostly just the what you’re saying, approval.

I want everyone to like me.

I want every girl to want to date me.

I just can’t get enough.

Yeah, I will brought up sex.

1:01:11

Like, when I was 45, they you know, they buy me Playboy’s and I don’t sit there and look at the Playboy’s and name every uh, huh part, you know, and but that for their amazement. but that was like, It seemed harmless at the time but it’s like I was sick.

1:01:29

My therapist like your you, your youth was kind of sexualized.

Yeah, that.

Yeah, and also so many things that I think are awesome and they’re great stories about me as a kid.

I imagine putting my own children through an and now I realize.

Oh Jesus.

No, that should have never been happened.

1:01:45

Yeah, right.

Well, is it?

Yeah, different time.

I’ve been around you guys and you guys are such a really beautiful couple, and you seem very, very happy around her.

And it’s yeah.

A cool thing to say, I want to tell you now my personal and I brought it up to you one time and I think it made you uncomfortable.

I can’t find my nicotine.

1:02:01

Do you see me panicking right now?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where the fuck’s my neck my really and without drugs and sex, but I gotta have my nicotine, gotta have something.

Oh, it’s right there.

I got have 80 milligrams of nicotine a day to function.

How many, how much did you start on?

1:02:17

Like is it is it is an ER 20, it stays consistent.

I do a sheet of these a day, sometimes a sheet and a half.

Depending.

And if I’m stressed about something you did, I use a smoke a pack and a half a cigarettes a day.

So this is much better.

Well, it’s like my my cousin who stopped doing drugs and alcohol, but then he started drinking like a 12 pack of Monster energy drinks today.

1:02:39

So I’m like what you’re doing the same thing with the nicotine like nah, these are many sheets of that.

Add a one sheet that these aren’t bad for you.

They raise your blood pressure.

That’s the single side.

That’s not great.

But I have moderate to low blood pressure.

All right.

Yeah.

I’m sure you’ll come out.

1:02:55

The other side.

You haven’t bought him down on the nicotine.

How dare you sit in your Ivory Tower?

Telling me, I can’t have nicotine, but here’s my personal.

So I was a fan of yours, but then I had all these personal kind of weaving back and forth with you.

And it really started with me doing idiocracy, down in Austin and you would just finished a movie like a month before.

1:03:16

Yes.

Special Olympics being the ringer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you’d become friends with Mike Judge.

Maybe even long before that, but you guys were friends.

Yeah, it Mike and I were friends.

I really liked him.

And this was my first bout of getting sober, right?

I got sober for that movie.

I relapsed after that, but during that movie.

1:03:33

I was sober, right?

It Mike and I got along so well, and I like them so much.

I idolized him.

Yeah, and then occasionally, he’d have to break off from me because he’d go hang out with you right?

Because it was time to have some cocktails.

He’s yeah, and I just always bum me out through no fault of anyone’s just me going.

1:03:51

Like I wish I could fucking party with judge and I can’t if that What you couldn’t be around it.

Well, not only could I could have perhaps been around it, but I don’t think he would have felt great about it.

Like he didn’t want someone that’s gonna remember everything, right?

No.

One’s the dude.

1:04:06

That’s going to remember the night with them.

And yeah, probably at that time.

I was much more.

It was a much bigger thing to me.

Now.

I could give a fuck.

And we, you could smoke crack in front of me to be fine.

I think, let’s try.

Yeah, and so, so then, I think this little seed form, he’s planted like, oh, Matt, dudes, Cooler Than Me.

1:04:23

Mike Judge likes him more.

Me, right.

So this is just all this is the foundation.

Right?

Right, right.

Then you and I are both mutual friends with Jimmy Kimmel.

Yeah, and then I start kind of seeing you semi-regularly over at his house.

I want to say, I see you like seven or eight times.

1:04:40

And when those times happened, you’re the only person.

I don’t talk to you there.

And so I then did use it like a choice.

Like you like know I very much like again, I was a fan of yours.

I very much would have loved to have talked to you.

And then in probably, well, again, we come to this, and I’ll admit this in those times in those couple years of seeing you, I can cock this insane story in my head, which is you hate me.

1:05:06

And now I’m like, well, that’s obvious.

The guy hates me.

Now, what could be one of the reasons?

He hates me.

Wow.

Did you think I wasn’t talking to you on three?

Yes.

Yes.

I thought for sure.

You were not talking to me, right?

And one other time, back in the judge thing.

I somehow went somewhere with him and there was a pool table and bald and you were there, and I also felt like you did want to talk to me at that time.

1:05:24

And so I had concocted this whole thing, right?

Where you don’t like me.

And now I don’t really have a reason why you don’t like me, right?

And then I decided my had this like, oh, well, Punk came right after jackass.

So he thinks that we were ripping off his show and then he hates me and, and all this thing and I create this whole story about why you don’t like me, right?

1:05:45

I don’t even know if you remember me saying this to you, but eventually last year, I see you and I go, I’m going to be honest with you.

I think you don’t like, Like me, and I’m, and I concocted this crazy story, and I just had to deal with it because if it was bothering me, oh, and you go.

1:06:04

No, I’m just shy.

I would, I’ve never decided not to talk to you.

I’m just never talk to you.

Yeah, I know.

I do.

Actually.

I don’t even remember.

You bringing that up to me.

I’m in.

So, in my own little world and I also like, in public place, I get very uncomfortable.

1:06:23

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Anxiety.

Yeah, especially in crowds.

Uh-huh.

And it seems like what you’re like most of times.

Oh, yeah, I’d see you.

It was like in a crowd situation.

So I kind of shut down a little.

Yeah in crowded situations.

1:06:39

Uh-huh.

So yeah, and I never had any reason to dislike you and as far as punk goes like any shows that did anything, you guys had your own thing.

You know, what is it?

Did you guys had your own thing going?

1:06:55

But any shows that kind of did anything in our area, I knew about by couldn’t, I didn’t want to watch them and then subconsciously pick up something.

Yes, and then do it and then I’m fucked because yes, I couldn’t.

So I just there’s never even saw it.

1:07:11

Couldn’t watch anything that was in our area.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don’t want to read a script while I’m writing a script because I’m afraid somehow subconsciously again, and then I’m going to look like I rip somebody off.

Do you think it’s an idea?

Four months later?

Don’t even realize it’s a memory and not a new idea.

1:07:27

That’s like, I’m, I guess I’m a little obsessive on that.

Like I just I can’t write and it’s maybe not rational, think I can go watch all those shows now, but I just I just shut everything out well, and also it’s all in, it’s all on my side of the street because not only did I can cock that whole story where you hated me, right?

1:07:48

Yeah, because I was biting your style and ripping you off.

Yeah.

I did.

None of it’s compounded by By the fact that I liked you and also I know things about you, like I know you’re into country.

I know we both have a kind of weird obsession with like lower-income white trash culture, if I can call it that there’s like some kind of the the Hunter S Toms and then there’s all these things I thought oh you guys you and I would really see eye-to-eye on all this stuff and then I’ll throw in a dose of like me being jealous that you could still party like somehow you kept it on the rails, and I didn’t.

1:08:25

I’m over on this side of the room, having this super complicated relationship with you.

Use this.

Yeah, you spun out a little.

Absolutely.

It’s 100% of my head.

Yeah, you you don’t even know what any of this is going.

I didn’t know you were upset by Mommy.

I didn’t know you thought.

1:08:42

Cuz like I would have if I known you, you were UPS, if that upset.

I would have come since I gave you a hug, but sure sure.

I just don’t know.

I’m so you’re a nice guy.

I’m in my own little and I used to say to Kimmel, I’m like what what what is your interaction with PJ?

1:08:59

Like, what’s the basis of this friendship?

Like I’m very curious about it because I think this guy hates me, like I was really trying, it was under my eyes are that know, it’s ridiculous, but I just want to admit it to you to your yeah, because I feel like it might help someone else who’s a lunatic about something else.

And I also thought we could maybe relate on this which I thought would be bonding is have you had this, you know, you you you started and doing these stunts in reality TV, and then you want to act and Do you do have the same like when I first started doing movies and they would always bring up punked.

1:09:30

It would like really trigger me.

And I’m like, I’m not up just a reality.

Whatever.

I had this huge complex that no one thought I was a real actor or that I had.

That’s not what I was always trying to do and I thought you had to have gone through that and that was something that we could bond over.

I I never would twitch or cringe when someone brought up.

1:09:54

Jackass, I’ve always been.

Well, I know it’s silly, but it’s always something.

I’ve been very proud of.

Well, you should.

And by the way, had I created Punk’d if it was Punk was my show.

I was just an actor on pain so it’s not mine and I bet ya.

If I hit like that was my brainchild and I executed it.

1:10:10

I probably would have carried a lot more.

And by the way now, 15 years later.

I’m crazy proud of Punk’d like I am super happy.

Yeah on it and grateful but there was a period of time where I so desperately wanted to be one of these many actors that I was A model myself after a wanting to be.

1:10:27

And I just felt like this thing was getting in the way.

Our people wanted me to just be that thing.

Yeah.

Did you like you have a, you see, a therapist or Wyman, a a?

So I told you gotta pee.

But no, their military, right?

1:10:42

Yeah.

You think I should go with you too.

Yeah.

Yeah, we’ll do.

We’ll go.

Do doubles, couples therapy.

Yeah.

It’s like eyes.

I had no idea.

He was so upset like I am.

Yeah, you’d be like he just finds himself up into these things in his head.

1:11:00

He’s just he gets triggered and then he Spirals and then there’s tears.

And then we’re here I think would be I think the therapist would get a real bang out of it.

Even if we got nothing as well to make his death.

We were probably start trying to entertain and no longer trying to do therapy.

1:11:18

Absolutely.

Trying to induce.

You must see a man.

Do you see a man know you don’t you see a woman?

Yeah, so I think Either be counterproductive.

Because again, I’d be trying to like impress her, or win her over in some capacity, right?

You don’t do that.

No, I just try to be as honest as you can because otherwise, you know, I’m just sitting there hanging picture frames, right?

1:11:39

And how long have you been going to therapy?

Well, use honest right.

Before action, point I stopped.

Okay, because I knew I was going to have to go to a certain place, right?

And it wasn’t going to be probably be a healthy place.

I’m not going to pretend here in therapy that you everything’s great with me.

1:12:01

What is the internal?

Monologue as you’re about to do something like that?

You have to say you’re a failure.

If you don’t do this, is there like a?

No, I don’t go that direction.

I just know that what I have in mind for the film, and what that means and what that’s going to take, and with my stunts, once I leave the ramp.

1:12:24

Bird jump-offs, and I don’t know what’s going to happen.

So yeah, I just have to kind of let go and my mind a little, well, I think Tyson would go off antidepressants leading up to fights.

Yeah, that makes pretty vocal about.

So it seems something like in that realm.

1:12:42

Yeah.

And who directed this one?

Tim Kirk be English director, where’d you find him?

He directed fleabag in.

You had consumed that show.

No, I didn’t see until afterwards.

I had.

So I seen a film.

1:12:57

He did a short film.

He did on The Clash.

Oh, this girl, obsessed with going to the class and she meets The Clash, and I thought it was really well done.

Uh-huh.

So, and did you.

And so, let me ask you this because there’s a director of the movie, there has to be a director of the movie, but this is so your world in your thing.

1:13:17

How does that?

How does that?

How do you navigate that?

We’re like, cool, good idea, but it’s got to go like this, or he was Tims.

Very A bird of uh-huh.

And so everything was discussion between us, uh-huh.

There’s some things I stayed out of, you know, I don’t cameras lighting.

1:13:38

Yeah, I don’t like an, yeah, I can’t invest my energy in that because it’s not my area.

Uh-huh.

But, you know, the I helped write the movie.

I, we had a few Riders.

Dave, ashlar, and John krinsky Rose on krinsky, not Krasinski.

1:13:54

You know, krinsky that poor guy.

So he’s just a syllable away.

Yeah, John Krasinski, but it’s John krinsky, but we I mean my quite help me out.

Oh, and Mike Judge helped us on the story.

1:14:10

Oh, really Robert?

Smigel did a draft and some amazing people work on this.

And do you like that part of the process writing?

Yes, I get kind of obsessed with that area.

It’s all I can think about, I write better alone, because if I’m in a group of people.

1:14:31

I get excited in my brain starts going and I can’t.

Thank right clearly because I just I don’t it’s you’re distracted.

Yeah, it never.

It’s like, I maybe it’s like a small version of crowds.

1:14:49

He being around and crowd.

We have done family, and friends, screenings, and that kind of thing, right?

That’s all very helpful to the process.

Yeah, to see what’s work specially with when you’re doing a comedy.

Yeah, it’s either people laugh or they don’t?

Yeah, it’s not like a drama where it’s like, I don’t know.

1:15:05

What’s well.

And also unlike a drama.

You can’t put the perfect song in there and like bail yourself out.

Yeah, they’re fucking works or it doesn’t Usually I remember when were screening Bad Grandpa, like first, couple were good, but not where all the other ones had been.

1:15:24

And I was told Spike.

I’m not going to the next one.

Fuck this.

I don’t want to go.

Of course.

I went.

Uh-huh.

It’s very I’m very since I guess I’m very sensitive and because, you know, it’s all what.

Yeah, it’s really no one to point the finger.

1:15:40

Yeah.

Yeah.

So those it’s I’m not.

Not, I go to them, but it’s tough because I’m about over traveling and being away from my kids.

Yeah, it’s harder.

It gets harder every time and I just, yeah, I can’t, I can’t do it to me.

1:15:55

The first two days are heaven and then the rest is just terrible.

Five to be away for a few days.

On my, I sleep ten hours.

I’m like, this is awesome.

I can, I could sit here and watch TV all day long and do anything.

I want them by day 3.

I’m like, who cares about any of this?

Yeah.

1:16:10

I don’t feel right.

I feel like Like a bird that broke its wing or something.

I’m not in stride or uh-huh.

I don’t like it.

Well, you know, it’s hard to say that you in a business that has attracted a trillion different people that all talented and all these different ways to have really Stamped Out, a completely original thing.

1:16:32

Like you did is is incredibly impressive.

Well, I appreciate you, appreciate the know.

It’s really, really, almost impossible.

Just when you even think about what we’re talking about, the first Jackass movie coming.

An outgoing like well that no one even did that, like, you know, there it’s all very unique and an amazing and it’s a really huge accomplishment.

1:16:51

I don’t ya, you get stuff to think about.

Oh I did this because I don’t want to be that guy.

You know, I’m not that guy, you know know you’re incredibly humble.

I think everyone.

That knows you would say about you.

Yeah.

1:17:06

I’m just yeah just lucky.

That’s why you leave it to me.

I’m telling you.

Okay, you don’t have to walk or roll around like that.

I’m just saying when I think of my short time on planet Earth.

There are some people who I think of a like Jim Carrey where I go.

Well, nobody came around and did that that was really something to happiness.

1:17:24

That’s really cool.

Yeah, David Letterman.

Wow, that was something to really set eyes on ya.

And your thing is was just wholly, unique and weird and interesting and hysterical.

I don’t think anyone’s ever gone to a jackass movie and not fucking laugh.

No matter where you’re coming from.

1:17:40

It’s a really.

It’s it, it will I’ll stand out for me as the things I witnessed, its in that soup of, like, 20 things that I saw that are memorable and I’ll never forget, and it’s really cool.

And I’m really glad you don’t hate me.

Know that I couldn’t like him anymore.

1:17:57

It’s just I’ll fix your car for free forever.

It so oblivious to I was so afraid.

I could have stopped it oblivious.

Yeah, so many.

Yeah, but no, I’ve come to find out.

Most people are convinced that hated me.

They did not hate me, or even you’ve had more.

1:18:13

Hartley, never even thought about me.

Wait, you’ve had that with other people.

Oh, absolutely.

So you really internalized, any kind of rejection will like you.

I’m that what chance did Dave is a perceive as reject.

Absolutely.

I’ve come to realize.

No one’s even thinking about me.

They’re thinking about themselves.

1:18:28

Not unlike me.

I’m thinking about myself, right?

I adore.

You.

Tell me when your movie comes out again, June 1st.

Yeah, and it’s scary.

You get super fucked up.

It’s going to deliver in all the ways that you’ve always.

Deserve great summer movie.

1:18:45

Yes, and don’t try any of the things you see, PJ do but go and in support movie, so they keep getting made specially this one because Who the hell’s making these besides BJ.

Thanks for coming.

Thank you.

And for the record, I love you.

1:19:03

I don’t dislike you whatsoever.

Right?

Or great guy, a wonderful talent, and I’ve had a ball here today.

Thank you for having me.

Now.

We don’t have to go to your therapist.

Stay tuned.

If you’d like to hear my good friend and producer, Monica badman point out the many errors in the podcast.

1:19:20

You just heard.

Welcome to my favorite part of this podcast, which is the fact check with one, good friend, Monica, Padma, Nan died, before we even start his want to say, I was in a very cranky mood when you arrived here today at the attic because the power’s out, there’s no water.

1:19:39

I took a dump and I couldn’t flush it and I was panicking that you were going to come here and Robin but way more you and you discover that I had made waste and that was unacceptable to me and I ended up getting a 5-gallon jug of water.

This cost me $4 or flush a toilet.

1:19:54

So I filled the back of The toilet tank with some Sparkletts, or Arrowhead like a nice jug of know, what?

It was I going to do.

I had to get rid of that before.

You surprised the sang tap water.

When it’s know.

It was gone.

No water.

No, not just in the toilet.

1:20:10

No, water here at the clubhouse.

And also, I had a crazy laser procedure on my face because I’m, because I’m vain, and I want to look good for my new show.

You know, what?

What you’re honest.

Yes, I got that going for me.

Yeah, and they fucking Blasted my face with like a flamethrower.

1:20:27

You got to admit over the last four days.

It looked like I went through the windshield of a car and then caught on fire.

Look your face looks different.

I will say that for children and so for these reasons and I’m just sick of it.

Now.

I’m it’s getting better, but I’m sick of it and then just just my physical overall health, it felt it allows out of five.

1:20:46

And I was so cranky and then you got here and I started opening up about it.

And then you were your nice Charming self.

And then here I am.

Now, I’m hovering around 9:00.

I just want to publicly.

Thank you.

That makes me happy and I’m Rob took me up another point five one day.

I hope we get to the point where you would have left your poop.

1:21:03

Yeah, I think that’s I think that’s the that’s the pie in the sky dream for us.

Yeah.

I’m just not there yet.

Okay.

Yeah, it’s been three years.

Maybe I can be patience.

Okay.

So let’s talk about Jonathan Knoxville because the funny thing happened that you guys don’t know about that.

We know the funny thing did happen, we can start with that.

1:21:20

Okay.

So before Johnny even got here a PJ, I said to Monica point, I hope he brings up the story about me fixing his car because that’s the kind of thing.

I want you guys to know about me that I mechanical and capable and competent.

And then there he brought it up right?

Out of the gate.

1:21:35

He did.

You were so happy.

I was really shaking my head because I mean for you I wanted him to say it because I wanted you to feel bolstered.

Okay, but I also didn’t want, you know, I can feel that you didn’t.

1:21:55

Forget it.

Why?

I don’t know.

Yeah.

Can we dig into that?

I don’t know why I think.

Well, actually I do.

Because the thing that is making you want everyone to know that part, huh?

I think that’s a little warped.

1:22:11

Like I do surely.

Have a good at least we’re on the same page about this is like me thinking people like me cuz I’m a good driver.

Exactly.

I don’t want to reinforce those things.

I think that’s bad for you.

I think it’s unhealthy for you.

Yeah, I am also aware of the fact that just because I admit these flaws doesn’t make them less stinky, you know, like it’s only go so far that I get does.

1:22:34

I do think it makes it less I think acknowledging it is helpful.

Okay, but anyways, I was Call myself in the actual conversation with PJ, but then I didn’t want to derail it with.

Yeah, I was also waiting for out and that was that part 2.

It was waiting for you to be like, oh, I wanted you to bring that up, and I was just time and then you didn’t do that.

1:22:54

So, you were all powerless.

Not happy.

Oh, wow, you would have wanted me to do that.

I would have assumed you thought.

Oh, Jesus more heard more about you.

Thanks PJ for driving over here to hear more about DAC.

It’s very vulnerable to say what you’re saying.

Right now that you’ve I wanted people to know that.

1:23:10

Well, this is a triple whammy.

I pooped in the toilet won’t flush.

I had a laser treatment, because I’m vain.

And then, I wanted people to know, I can fix a car, and I’m fucking 43 years old.

I hope I hope people learn from that.

Yeah.

Okay.

So PJ’s last name is clap and we were talking about how that might be a not-so-great last name at that age.

1:23:34

And in case you will don’t know that’s because the clap is gonorrhea.

Yeah.

I don’t know if everyone knows that.

Do you know old-timey?

It is, it is in a Commision and I think people my age girl grew up watching a lot of Vietnam movies and it was really common in Vietnam because people in our we’re going to these prostitution, I don’t know what their eyes nice way to say it but they would go on arm Bangkok.

1:24:01

They go to patpong.

They did a little hanky-panky and a lot of them got the clap or gonorrhea, gonorrhea.

And, you know, I assume younger people probably people that listen to the show.

They grew up with movies about Iraq and Afghanistan.

1:24:17

They permeated 30.

Uh-huh, Hurt Locker, that airplane movie.

The 9/11 era movie.

No, 911 Air flight flight.

1:24:32

Yes, something 54.

Yeah, maybe, yes, but, you know, so people who grew up with those The soldiers weren’t banging in Iraq or Afghanistan.

I went to Afghanistan twice and I can tell you there was virtually no hanky-panky going on, or are or brothels.

1:24:48

So I assume that the STD rate much lower for that set of Wars.

Hmm, you know where the guys would go on R&R, in those Wars, is they would go to Qatar, which I flew into the first time.

I went to Afghanistan, very cool City.

1:25:04

I had an idea of what that place would look like when we landed and it looked like goddamn, Miami.

Ah, look at all these skyscrapers on the water and they were all brightly lit and stuff and I was like not a bad place to go on R&R.

Hope you get the clap.

Okay, there was a discussion of who gets paid the most in baseball, you said, pictures, and according to a Business Insider article in 2014.

1:25:28

So a tiny bit outdated, no positions.

Make more money in Major League Baseball than starting pitchers and first, baseman.

Mmm.

Okay, so had he gone the distance You would probably be the exact same riches.

He is now after three hit movies, so I guess so.

1:25:46

Oh you, you refer to a surgery that pitchers get hmm.

Like it was a common known surgery, but I didn’t know what you were talking about.

But you’re talking about Tommy, John surgery.

Yeah, which is actually called the ulnar collateral.

1:26:02

Ligament reconstruction.

Hmm, Tommy, John surgery, Tommy John’s also a panty brand, Tommy.

John’s but it ain’t no me undies.

Throw that in there.

I didn’t get paid for that one extra.

Yeah, named after Tommy John a picture 1974.

1:26:21

Hmm was the procedure when it was invented on Tommy.

Yeah, you sound super confident about that.

Yeah.

The procedure was first performed in 1974.

If it Bears his name, I have to imagine that it was on him in 1974.

1:26:38

Well, it’s Named after the first baseball player to undergo the surgery, Tommy John.

But I don’t know if he was the first person to it’s you know, why are on the topic these baseball players they state claim on diseases like Lou Gehrig’s.

That’s some kind of a neurological disorder.

1:26:55

Something clearly it existed before our friend.

Lou got it Lou Gehrig’s is ALS.

Yeah ALS.

Yeah.

Okay, so he just got to put he just got like a fancy name with it.

His he?

Got well, it’s like when astronomers discover a star, they get to name it.

1:27:12

Yeah, it’s unfair really?

Because it’s just like they want to associate the pr for the diseases wants to but you know, and I’m sure Magic Johnson super happy for it.

They didn’t renamed AIDS.

Magic, Johnson.

1:27:28

I know.

Well, let me be clear.

He never had Aids.

HIV HIV, they never, they never named HIV Magic Johnson know, which by the way sounds like a great diagnosis.

If you get Yeah, yeah.

1:27:43

Yeah, you’re right.

It’s probably for the okay, for the person it’s undesirable, but for the disease, I hate to say this, but I’m gonna they want a celebrity to get it so that they can associate the disease with a famous person and then people will care more compassion.

1:28:00

Yeah, right.

I’m sticking to that theory.

Um, you mentioned Squatty Potty because you were talking about About your poop ritual, your OCD poop ritual.

And you were saying that you stood sat on the toilet.

It’s in a way that was reminiscent of The Squatty Potty.

1:28:20

So I don’t know if people know not.

Everyone knows about a Squatty Potty but they should you love The Squatty Potty.

I love it so much.

They’re not a sponsor yet.

But I hope they become one because when I bought you a really gorgeous one for your new apartment, it as a housewarming, gift, a teak.

1:28:38

What a party.

You almost feel like you’re yachting when you’re using it, right?

Yeah, but it is a full Evac.

Yeah, right, clean.

Nice clean full Evac.

Yeah, and and it’s as the monkeys poop.

Right?

1:28:53

So anyway, primates Johnny said, vice, started in Canada, and he’s right now that I was really embarrassed when he pointed that out, because soon as he said it, I was like, oh, yeah, Montreal, I was humiliated when that happened.

Yeah.

Why is it like Obvious.

That it was because I was saying New York.

1:29:10

I mean, I think I went there next, but why is associated with Leslie Arvin, right?

Because she wrote a column, and she had this great book.

She wrote dear diary, that was compiled from Vice articles.

She Wrote.

By the way, you guys buy that book.

It’s so good and we love Leslie orphan.

Anyways, I just felt like I was trying to be.

1:29:27

I was trying to show him that.

I was cool and punk rock and then I misspoke.

Yeah, like something that anyone that’s claiming to be cool and punk, rock should know, got it.

Yeah, I didn’t know.

I’m cool.

But you weren’t you’re not going for like a punk rock thing.

Like I am not anymore because I guess it’s not working.

1:29:46

Okay, you guys mentioned Tales from the tour bus.

Hmm.

I just want to get a little more information on that in case people want to watch it.

It’s it was on Cinemax, Mike Judge, created it and it’s animated.

Mmm.

It’s a nice little mix.

1:30:02

You do get actual archival footage of the vents and then a lot of its animated about Current musicians and such right?

Yeah, and you loved it.

Yeah, so good.

Okay.

So I watched the Brad Pitt clip of Jackass.

1:30:18

Uh-huh, and I was trying to figure out what they were writing down the street on.

Uh-huh.

Because you had said shopping carts.

There was a clip in that of shopping carts, but, but Brad must not have been in those.

Okay, but there they were little, like, it looked like, What are those cars called that?

1:30:40

Like kids soapbox-derby cars?

Okay.

Yes.

Okay.

So they were kind of in soap box derby car.

They were in soapbox-derby cars.

Oh, that’s great.

Yeah, that’s exactly what it was.

Also, Brad Pitt is from Missouri, but he was born in Oklahoma.

1:30:57

So that make us both, right?

No, you didn’t.

I didn’t have either those.

I don’t think you had either of those.

Okay, but now committed to memory, I will love him so much.

Okay, you said documentaries?

Don’t make a hundred million dollars.

Maybe one has, and one has you’re absolutely right.

1:31:16

Michael Moore’s, right?

Fahrenheit 9/11.

Hi 911.

That one made 119 million 194,000 honors.

Mmm.

The next biggest is March of penguins.

Oh, I wouldn’t have guessed that.

I would have thought of been another Michael Moore documentary March of penguins, which made 77 such a cute.

1:31:37

Movie was it in Q.

Do you remember that?

I didn’t see it.

Oh, it’s so cute.

It is there life is so brutal.

What they do to have a little baby penguin, because that they have to take turns sitting on the egg and then their partner has to walk all the way back to the water, which is miles and miles and miles.

1:31:54

And you see how stupid they walk.

They are the worst.

Yeah.

They’re Locomotion is ridiculous.

They do a lot of sledding.

In fact, because they walk so shitty that they end up sliding on their bellies, which is Q.

Yes.

It’s really good.

Oh, okay.

1:32:09

Do you want to guess what the third highest grossing documentary of all time.

Is, You know, those two are crossed off the list.

Yeah, so my hunch is there’s another Michael Moore documentary.

That was really big.

1:32:25

I feel like and then I also want to say inconvenient truths, probably in the mix.

Fuck.

What is it?

Justin Bieber.

Never Say.

Never.

Oh, which our friend made our friend directed and you loved.

1:32:40

Yeah.

And it in and as a people, remember, if they listen to the Kristin episode, it, we murdered.

Pigeons on the way to see that.

And yet we still left in a good mood.

That’s, that’s how good it was.

That’s The Power of that Beaver flick.

Okay.

So speaking of how much to the jackass movies, make Jackass, the movie made seventy nine point, four million jackass.

1:33:01

Number two made eighty four point six million.

Mhm, Jackass 3D 170 1.7 million.

Oh, girl.

And then, Bang Bad, Grandpa.

Associated not in that same but you know, Associated made 150 1.8.

1:33:19

Oh my gosh.

I’m glad you said that cause ever since he was talking about Bad Grandpa when he left, I was like did that movie do well because I personally didn’t see it.

And I’m so egocentric.

If I didn’t see it.

I think no one did.

So I’m really glad to hear that that made money, but it’s important to remember.

Again, some fucking obsessed with money.

Those things cost five cents to make.

1:33:36

So they’re just pure profit for everyone.

I’m so happy for everyone.

That’s involved scenario.

I like I like when people win the lottery.

Yeah, see.

People are known to have died at Action Park.

The theme park.

She’s six people.

1:33:52

It’s actually, it was when I was started delving in.

There’s a lot of stuff on that.

Like, there’s like a whole BuzzFeed article.

There’s a lot, its more common than I than I thought and I know people are going to be upset.

They were laughing about it, but I just want everyone to be recognizable were laughing about.

1:34:10

We are certainly not laughing at the fact that people died or were injured.

We’re loving it.

How irresponsible is yeah people place?

Yes, the people that they would keep a place open.

Well, I mean because you have to imagine if Six Flags in our area here had one death big big issue.

They would continue on to Deaths.

1:34:29

Wow.

They’re getting shut down for a while.

They’re going to re tools and stuff.

I got imagine three dozen.

This current ERA, that’s lights out.

Yeah, you’re getting cooking kill.

Six people in, stay in business.

I saw a picture of a water slide that one upside down.

1:34:44

Oh great.

Water slide, haven’t ya?

Oh, boy.

Okay.

I tried to find out how old the cat that are Cowboy really is.

Oh, problem is John Oliver’s catheter cowboy has really taken over this.

1:35:00

Yeah.

Yeah, he has and he’s stolen the Thunder of the original catheter.

Cowboy, couldn’t find barely any information on him.

But the John Oliver catheter Cowboy is 72.

I yeah and just by my observation I’d say the original catheter Cowboys even older than that.

1:35:21

Gentlemen, maybe.

Yeah, we won’t we’ll never know we won’t but it still doesn’t make sense that he’s only been cowboying for 20 years.

No one starts cowboy in at 55 and that’s all of its called Cowboy do a commercial for finding your passions late in life.

1:35:40

Oh, I guess.

Yeah.

It’s kind of life-affirming.

Although that passion may lead you to catch.

With that, which is a mixed message.

Your passions may have some downsides but I’m Gareth it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I bet a lot of surgeries.

Yeah, CTE is brought up and people can just reference the Joel McHale fact check if they want to learn about CTE because I’ll talk about that.

1:36:01

They all right.

I have a theory.

This isn’t a fact.

Okay.

This is a theory of mine.

Okay, so I know science.

So when he was little, he said this, when he was little, he used to go to the hospital a lot.

He had asthma that.

All right, then they used to shoot him up with adrenaline.

1:36:18

Yeah, so that is very interesting to me during some formative years.

He spent a lot of time in the hospital and a lot of time getting jolted with adrenaline and that, that adrenaline was a thick effect.

Yes, relief.

Yes, so, you know considering his choices.

1:36:37

Are in life.

I wonder if that subconsciously sort of drove him to maybe not do it.

But, but why he keeps coming back to that because it does give obviously an incredible boost of adrenaline, to perform these stunts correctly.

1:36:52

Even maybe incorrectly as still does.

Yeah.

I wish I would have done a better job at getting PJ to help us understand more about his childhood.

Because I think there’s probably a lot of stuff in there.

The OCD mixed with the going with asthma.

Think there’s?

Yeah, I think there’s You know if there was ever a part two of this with him, I’m more curious about.

1:37:12

I don’t think you accidentally end up doing the thing.

He does.

Yeah, great.

Yeah, do you think my theory holds water?

Yeah, I like it.

Yeah, one other thing.

I just want to bring up from last week last week’s episode of Marc Maron posted a picture.

Oh, and yeah, you’re really worried about this.

1:37:30

I got a lot of blowback on because my shoes were on the couch.

These are currently on the couch.

They are as a human being right out of me, too.

Yeah, and people did not like that.

My shoes are on the couch, but I guess I do it all the time.

1:37:48

So that’s it.

That’s it.

I’m not gonna apologize for it because the owners of the couch leg.

Okay.

Let me just say I own this fucking couch and I’ve had this couch for 12 years and I don’t give a shit if he put your feet on it.

Yeah, and Monica would not come into your home if you invite her because you like her on armchair expert You invite her over some supper, which you should do.

1:38:09

She’s a great guest.

She’s gonna put her feet on your couch.

Don’t worry about that.

This is just think of this as a sign of our closeness.

Yeah.

I’m so comfortable.

Yeah, and by the way, listen, so, yeah, I can tell you the, the line of thought that goes shoes are dirty.

They’re on the ground.

They’re picking up, germs.

1:38:25

You’re putting them on the couch, but then I’ll go.

Okay.

And then people sit on it with their genes.

And the people are going to pull their jeans off and fucking Lick the ass of their genes.

So, what are you afraid of?

Yeah, but no one sleeps on this couch is an addict.

Is no one’s licking, the cushions of the couch.

So everything’s fine.

1:38:41

Everything’s fine.

Don’t red flag us with the health department.

We don’t even have water power right now.

And now if you guys start that away our health certification.

Also we do prepare food in here sometimes.

Yeah.

Yeah, we can’t get shut down feet away from our toilet.

Yeah, Kristen posted a picture on her Instagram, the very next day of her on a podcast feet.

1:39:05

Also on another persons cow.

Uh-huh, and I’m just gonna call the world out.

I didn’t see one comment about her shoes on that couch.

Yeah.

Well, she’s more beloved than you nationally.

Yeah.

Today that’s upsetting.

1:39:22

It’s upsetting.

But how do you think I feel?

I’m married to her and I know you’re much more beloved than me.

Well, you know this story that she would fart in an elevator and people would get in and 100%, They were convinced that I had farted.

They Her.

1:39:37

And then they look at me and they go out that guy farted.

Right?

And she would do this kind of often and I said to her, listen, if you do this again, I am going to look at the people and say my wife farted.

That was not me and I did that one time, in a New York, elevator.

She farted, people got in.

1:39:53

When we got out, I go just want to for the record.

That was her that farted.

And then they looked at me and let me tell you how it backfired.

Not only, did they still think I had farted?

They go.

Oh God this guy farted and he just blamed his wife.

He’s a fucking monster.

Yeah, you know, that show.

No winning.

That’s just the price.

1:40:09

We pay to be surrounded by such an angel of goodness and light and that’s just how it’s going to be and that’s okay for both of us.

Yeah, that’s all anything else.

Nope.

Thanks for cheering me up and you guys thanks so much for listening this show.

It makes me so so happy when I see your comments on Instagram and on Twitter, but I just love hearing from you guys, and I’m so grateful for all of you and I love you, and I love you Monica, and I love you Rob.

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