start the recording start the broadcast
what the fuck ladies and gentlemen
see it doesn’t show that it started but i know it has
i know you gotta like refresh it and shit
usually takes a couple seconds it’s bullshit son
ladies and gentlemen
that’s me there you go
every time we do this
i could have sworn i muted it this time
you know when you do it by yourself you don’t do it
you catch yourself
yeah maybe i’m
distracted you do not know no no no
don’t make me make fun of you
you stop alright let me change it
this motherfucker and his goddamn ipad
fucking love it man listen
ladies and gentlemen it’s a little gay but
if it’s good enough for the romans
it’s good enough for the greeks
look at you
got an ipad even though i said i wasn’t gonna get one
i take for you to get one
walk by so you guys got in them bitches
say i said yes and i said okay let’s go
first day yeah
it’s kind of interesting
you know what i am interested in is
what’s gonna happen with these
things like what are these things eventually
gonna eventually these things are
gonna be able to like control your house and shit
you know you could already do that and
if the dragon naturally
speaking is
any good on this do you know if it is it’s alright
it’s good if you have
a headphone
microphone thing
plugged in to it i
tried to do it like in a loud room in it
well i gotta
write a book now and
i just signed the deal
so it’s fucking
official i’m in the middle of writing this
thing and i’m
thinking god damn it takes a long time to
write shit it
might be easier to just talk it out
but i don’t think this
stuff is any good now some
people told me that
voice recognition software is really good on pcs
but not quite there on the mac yet
have you heard anything i’ve never
heard that because like one of the best ones on the pc
is dragon naturally
speaking so
right it’s the same
technology is the same
everything’s the same so there
shouldn’t be a difference but it’s not the same version
because it’s a unix based for
you know the mac operating
system right it’s totally different so
it’s like a different version
it’s the same programming language
i mean it’s like a
xbox and a ps3
i mean it’s the same tech
the programming is the
same it’s just two different ways to play is that true
ladies and gentlemen do
any of you wizards out there know whether or not he’s
speaking the
truth cause
i believe brian
but i also believe that
brian did not know the answer well
i barely use dragon so i could be
wrong i’m not a huge dragon nerd but
to me it makes
sense that if a company makes a kind of software
it would be the same on pc and mac it
might have to get there
a different way but the actual
brains of the software would be the same
the same program yeah
there’s something
about actually writing
things too that’s better than
speaking it and writing it
because like when i write something if i
write a blog i don’t type that fast
so if i’m writing something each word that i’m thinking
about i’m like really
dwelling on it and the
other words that come after it
you know that’s why one of the
things people are always really impressed
about is the ability to speak
without stammering
and have something to say i mean that’s the reason why
obama got elected really is because
not just because he’s black
but because he’s
black and he’s this really good
speaker you know he’s really good at talking and
there is an art form to that it’s a management of your
ability to recognize like what you’re
gonna say next and the inflection you’re
gonna use and
preparation and all that shit it’s it’s it’s
there’s an art to it
but you know
it’s more interesting usually when i read
things that people
wrote and they actually
wrote it they sat down and they really thought
about how this is
gonna be absorbed
you know there’s a
craft there’s a
craft of both
but there’s a real
craft to writing
you know actual writing itself i really
appreciate when i read good writers
don’t you yeah
you know i don’t read that much
but the few books that i choose i pick out certain
things i wanna read
cause i read all day on the internet
so when it comes to a book i’m like all
right i’ve read so much
today i don’t need to read anymore you know
type things so
i’ve actually been reading less books ever
since the internet’s kind of
grabbed me i’ve noticed
yeah yeah definitely
yeah the last good book i read was a book called
early bird highly recommended though it was
about a guy that used to
write for i
think letterman
and he retired this is real a real guy
and he retired
and he went to florida and lived
in a retirement home
and he just
documented his life inside a retirement home
being retired at the age of 35
it was one of the funniest books
and it’s weird how
the retirement village is like high school
you know there’s like the popular old people
and they have like
their clicks and
stuff like that and it’s so
weird you kind of go back to that old
school thing
that’s hilarious
early bird yeah people are
like that man they’re like that no matter what they’re
like that if they’re 80 they’re like that if they’re
180 you know
we’re monkeys man
we have a whole
bunch of instincts that we follow
that really are directly
attributable to our time in the jungle you know
i mean that’s what i’ve said
about human beings that
there’s something fucked up
about us where
you’re distracting the shit out of me with that
thing son not be fucking
browsing online in
time i was actually
seeing if we
could get our live show on the ipad
doing it live
watching you fucking
no don’t sit behind me because i can’t talk to you i
gotta turn like this
my neck hurts from jiu jitsu
hey you fuck
you got me forgetting what we were talking about
yeah me too
god damn it
fucking stoners
we were talking
about talking and writing and
the last guy
who got me into writing or reading and writing really
but i read the
great shark hunt the hunters
thompson book
it’s kind of a compilation book of all of his
his stories
fuck that dude
could write
that dude had some really interesting writing i got you
excited to read more about it
you know and it’s kind of like this weird
blend of fiction and non fiction
that’s one of the
things that was so cool
about hunters writing
is like this guy was just crazy
making all kinds of
crazy shit up
about like las vegas and
campaigns and dudes being on drugs
you know when
ed musky was running for president
hunter thompson
started printing in rolling
stone magazine every week
that it was like widely
known that this guy had an
ebooking addiction
and that he was
bringing in
brazilian doctors like nobody ever done that before
nobody ever done like real serious
coverage of like a political event
and just started
adding nutty shit to it that totally wasn’t real so
literally this guy
changed the fucking course the election
because that guy was like one of the favorites
and because hunters writing
about him having an ebogaine
addiction which is this
crazy exotic drug from africa
you know hunter
wrote this whole
thing about it
and this guy
literally fell
apart on the campaign
trail people were heckling him
and he was doing
these campaign
speeches and just crumpled
just because some
crazy shit that this guy wrote
and when they
asked him about it
and he goes
well you made up that
stuff about
ed muskie having
an ibigadan he goes wow i didn’t make it up
i didn’t print i said it was a rumor
he goes and
it was a rumor and i
started in milwaukee
it’s crazy you just
but he got away
with it and he was just constantly on acid
who’s constantly doing mescaline
who’s constantly doing cocaine
i mean he was constantly getting fucked up and writing
like super uber fucked up
is there a book or a
movie that you
would recommend
about all this yeah well i didn’t even get into him
until i watched the documentary gonzo
gonzo you know i’d like the
movie fear and
loathing in las
vegas and i’d
seen him on talk
shows before and i always knew that he was this kind of
crazy guy you know
older dude was really nutty like to
shoot guns and
you know looked like you know
your friend’s dad but he was fucking
completely psychotic
you know it’s just this guy left over from the sixties
that somehow another
morphed this like a
super violent
fucking drug addled
compound junkie
that’s what he used to call himself you know
i just added it to my netflix
q on my ipad joe good job
good job see that
it’s very good documentary
but it’s a really
well made too so it really gets you into
how fucking
interesting this guy was
and it brings me back to the same
thing that i always
think of man oh my god
when you’re really that good he’s so good
i always wonder how fucking
crazy you have to be to be really good
you know like
in almost everything like in michael jackson
and fucking
sports anybody like
tiger woods you know look how
crazy he is
i almost think that you have to be a certain
there’s to be a certain amount of imbalance to
you to be really the best at anything to be excellent
yeah well that’s why you’re considered the best usually
not in the same
road as everybody else you’re on the side street
you know you’re a little different than everyone else
so that’s most
successful people are not just like a common person
in everything they do not just that but what
i’m saying is that the commitment that’s involved in
order to get to the highest
levels of anything
right like you almost have to be
completely nuts
in order to hit
those rpms right
you know it’s like
with so many things
especially when it comes to the working
world when it comes to like the artistic world
i could see
you know an argument for there’s no
there’s never too much there’s
never too much art that you can
produce because you’re just producing positive energy
but people that
get addicted to
success in the business
world and try to be
the number one guy in the business world
i mean that’s
one of the main reasons why we have all
these problems
today with corporations
how corporations are sort of
these consciousness
entities you know i mean now corporations
basically are allowed to
they’re judged as an individual
you know corporations are a
thing like they have
rights and shit
like they can
contribute to campaigns now as much as they want
they can do all kinds of
crazy shit you know as
a corporation and get away with it because they don’t
think of it as them as an
individual doing it
they think of it as well
you know it’s all business and we’re part of business
like they can do fucked up
things in overseas
countries you know
third world
countries and and they don’t even
think that they’re doing anything bad
because what they’re
doing is they’re just doing business and there’s just a
bunch of people involved doing it
so no one person feels like
total responsibility for what’s happening
you know and that’s like a real problem that we have
and i think one of the real problems that we have
is related to people just being
super competitive
you know that’s the only reason why
these fucking
super crazy billionaire dudes
would keep pushing forward
you know at a certain
point time how much fucking
money do you have to have
you know when you’re one of
those dudes and has like thirty
forty billion dollars and you’re still
trying to rape
third world
countries like what the fuck is
going on like how much
money do you need
bitch that’s a lot of goddamn money
what is that why why
would they not
be able to recognize that there’s something
wrong there
well then they’re
crazy that’s what it is
to get at the highest
levels of anything
whether it’s golf or
whether it’s fucking you know whatever the fuck it is
to get at the highest
levels of anything you got to be a little nutty man
whether it’s sports
whether it’s
singing you know whether
performing writing
you know i think you know to really achieve
those those
those crazy
great highs
like you almost have to like lose your
connection to everybody else or lose control of your
connection right you know
yeah it’s weird because that’s our high
watermark you know
and we’re always aspiring towards
higher and higher
levels of performance and
everything we do whether it’s
you know athletic or anything you do
you’re always trying to do better than you did before
now i mean that’s like a
human ethic
that we had
and it’s very strange man
because there’s
never a point in time
where we ever step back and go
you know hey this is good we’re good right here
let’s just concentrate all our time
right now instead of
making more money
let’s try to
concentrate all our time and trying to make
things better for each other
you know let’s
try to concentrate our time in
dealing with all
these problems that
exist all over the
world instead of trying to
you know fucking
smash atoms and create
black holes let’s let’s settle down
you know and
let’s concentrate on some
other shit we look at the surplus of
money that we have
but they don’t ever
think like that
all they think of is more and more and
more and more and more and more and more like they’re
gonna live forever
and those motherfuckers drop a
heart attacks left and right
those like ceos of big corporation type dudes
those motherfuckers die like crazy
they die all the time
those guys are
you know like dick
cheney’s had a hundred and
fifty fucking
heart attacks
and one of the
reasons is is because he’s just such an evil cunt
you know if you’re that fucking evil
you know you’re
gonna have some goddamn
heart attacks you’re doing some
wicked shit you’re creating so much bad energy
and you’re pushing constantly constantly constantly
yeah you know
what kind of
balls do you have to have to be the fucking ceo
of a corporation like haliburton
and then go from that to being the
vice president of the united states
and then go from that to signing
billion dollar
agreements with haliburton
where billions
literally billions of dollars
were lost like they don’t know
where it went billions in corruption
they have no idea where
like all kinds of money went
and the fact that that
motherfucker profited on it
he had shares in haliburton
while he was the fucking president
i mean he got
money from them
while he was the president
or vice president with
me really was the president
really he was the fucking marinette supposedly
remember the days
where he was always in the bunker
remember they
would like always like they
would always talk
about dick cheney being in the bunker
right where is this bunker
right is this some batman type shit
you know what does he have
what is the dick
cheney bunker it’s just probably like a golf club
it’s another nickname for a golf club
he’s at the bunker
and said the whorehouse
dudes banging dudes
you know that was the big
secret of the fucking
the the whole bush
white house was there was a lot of gay shit going on
a lot of gay shit
that guy jeff
gannon has a reporter
for um the white
house he was a
white house embedded reporter
and he would love these
super softball questions at president bush like
mr bush president bush when
or mr president when are the democrats just
gonna come to reality
when are they
gonna come to their
senses do you
think that’s ever
gonna happen
he would say shit like that
and other reporters like who is this
and so the other reporter
started investigating this dude and they
found out that he had a fucking gay porn website
with him him with like
you know like a fucking bare
chested like a
towel over his cock and shit like
super gay with dog tags on
and it was gay porn
geared towards
guys with military fetishes
no way yes what have you
heard about the
it’s like the tickle guy
have you heard
about that guy in the news recently that
they had tickle parties
he worked all same
thing like he
worked for the government somehow or like the
dude does anyone know what i’m talking
about the tickle guy
they had like ticklers that
would come over and they
would all have tickle parties
well how about that fucking woman
who was the
madam how about that
woman who was the madam
for that big fucking
brothel in washington dc
and this chick claims
she’s got the fucking ins on everybody in washington
all these senators that use to service all
these different people
and then she commits suicide
and she even said she looked at her interviews like
if i commit suicide
they did this to me i am not
going to kill myself
i’m happy i want to live
fucking gone and the
whole case gone
dust in the wind
dust in the wind what about
jesse james
did you see
his girlfriend
oh my goodness
and that’s what happens man people get fucking
wacky about
jesse james or
tiger woods or whatever the fuck it is
this week in the news
and while that’s going on
crime just left and
right they’re just stealing
stealing money and
fucking bitches and
killing bitches who tell they’re
gonna fuck bitches
it’s the congressman eric massa
that had to tickle parties oh
democrat senator
democrats senator
was on the daily show he was on a
daily show talking
about it no i
think they had it on the
daily show that’s
where they talked
about that tickle
story new york times
there we go somebody twittered it look
on the tweets
i know is that the
tweets or the chat
thing this is on twitter
right now people responding to
you on twitter so if you go to joe’s website joe rogan
net click on webcams
you can see the chat we’re talking
about yeah yeah or you can go to my you
stream page you can see the
whole chat on the you
stream page
what the hell is joe
going on about
bitch you can’t just tune in halfway in the middle
we’re talking about
shit the way the
human mind works man that there’s an error
in the way the
human mind works
and that’s the reason why people are doing all this
crazy shit like
trying to conquer the world and
you know and billionaires are fucking
torturing these
third world
countries and
crushing their resources and
doing it all for money
the reason why
is there’s an
error in the human mind
and there’s an error that
causes us to never
have perspective
we’re always
moving in a direction but we don’t have a perspective
like nobody ever stops
and very very few people stop and realize at a certain
point in time like
i would rather
live an easy
going really
peaceful life
make less money
and have less bullshit and less
drama in my life and
you know and just be
happy all the time then be this like super
ambitious you know
gotta go get it typical american
you know and that
that’s a problem man
that fucking typical
american attitude is bullshit because we’re gonna die
we’re fucking
dying all of us
there’s just
this this is totally temporary
so like the the
right thing to do is to try to balance
it all out and have the most amount of fun possible
and the most amount of positive time the most
amount of positive energy during the time that you have
but then there’s the keeping up with the
jones thing this
trick that gets us
thinking that somehow another like bigger
houses or bigger cars or bigger bullshit
is gonna make you
happy so that
most miserable fucks that i’ve ever met in my life
were rich and
famous okay
some of the most miserable fucking
human beings i’ve ever met
rich and famous and living
in a torturous existence
you know like we were talking
about our friend on
the way over here he’s got the the the female problem
you know this
this guy is a very
successful guy he’s like been on television
he’s you know
he’s a guy that people
enjoy they go to see him
his life is terminal
it’s fucking
chaos and it’s just
it’s so it’s a few steps before murder suicide
right it is it’s
right there it’s
knocking on murder suicides door yeah
you know if you got that
phone call in the middle of the
night you wouldn’t be that surprised people
like god damn it
damn should have
done something else yeah but this is nothing you can do
that’s the cold hard fact there’s nothing you can do
at the end of the day
these motherfuckers have to go home
it’s like you have to figure
out what is it that we’re really doing here what is it
and because there’s so fucking many of us
i think that
human beings have lost this
sense of community i
think human beings are programmed
to be in tribes
we’re programmed to be in
tribes of like 50 to 200 people
or maybe more but enough so that you know everybody
and you know when we live
alone we’re fucking miserable like
that’s why we don’t
trust hermits we don’t
trust people that go off into the woods by themselves
look at this
sketchy motherfucker he wants to be by himself
you know we don’t
trust that shit
because that’s not how you’re supposed to be
we’re not program for that we’re programmed to be in
small groups of people
so that we work together and we protect each
other and we support each other
but we’re living in a
group that’s way too big
we’re tricked into believing that we’re a part of some
three hundred million
strong group
you know that’s why like wars work you
know the reason why wars work is because we feel like
well yeah we
gotta defend
ourselves and we all know we have this sort of sense of
loyalty defend ourselves
but at a certain
point it’s like
against what hold on a
second was we
are three hundred million fucking people
and we’re defending ourselves
against what
three hundred million
other people
from somewhere else that we don’t even know
what is going on why are they really
after us like what’s happening
well i’m getting this from you
and i’m connected to you somehow
who the fuck are you and why
these people mad at you
why are these fucking people in this
other country mad at you
why do they
wanna come over
here and kill me because some shit you did
what the fuck are we doing
until you know
what we’re doing overseas
you can’t support it
you can’t be involved
you know there’s a
video that was released that you
haven’t seen yet
that it was on wikileaks
where it shows this apache
helicopter shooting
these hellfire missiles into
these people
and they weren’t soldiers they were mistaken
as soldiers and i don’t know the
us did it i watched it
the us did it yeah
yeah the 2007
covered it up
and then wikileaks got a hold of it someone
in the armed forces
apparently was a
whistleblower and just thought that this was a horrible
situation and needed to be corrected
and these guys were like you know
look i mean if they thought they were insurgents
i could see
how they developed
this antagonistic attitude towards the
enemy because this guy’s
wounded they shot him up
his one guy survives
like just pick up a weapon just pick up a weapon
like he’s asking him to just
pick up a weapon so he can ice up
he’s got these
dirty and they look
they’re the bad guy
and this guy is out
there and he’s in the shit and he’s trying to survive
i mean that’s the attitude you have to have
if you don’t have that attitude and you’re in war
you’re gonna get killed
but what it
shows you is like what the fuck are we doing there
like what what is what are we doing
that our american
friends our people who live over here in this country
are subject to
becoming that guy
or subject to being put in a situation
where they are
shooting at
civilians accidentally and
thinking they’re insurgents they have to live with
these fucking memories
because someone told us
that we’re supposed
to be over there for some fucking strange reason
some fake weapons of mass destruction and now some
fucking democracy
building project
you’re surprised though an 18 year old made a
bad decision i
was an 18 year old
pilots i know but half
those people are so
young that it’s retarded
i didn’t get
smart and i mean
smart with like a z
until like 25
25 27 i would probably say i
started actually
doing making better decisions not fucking
doing crazy shit
no listen no doubt
about it i was retarded
when i was 18 and if i was 18 and i was in war i
would be doing the
exact same shit
i was hyper aggressive
extra violent
and ready to
ready to do
stupid shit
right you know
when you’re an 18 year old man and you are around a
bunch of people
who tell you you are supposed to be doing
stupid shit
you’re supposed
to be violent you’re supposed to be attacking
you’re supposed to be a killer
i mean man you
could program the shit out of us man
if you’re a fucking
angry 18 year old kid you know who has
a need to belong
to something
and this need to belong takes you to another country
and all of a
sudden you’re in afghanistan you’re
fighting for america you feel like
you’re representing some real shit
and then someone’s fucking telling you
you know this guy’s telling you you’re a goddamn killer
you know i’m fucking
proud of you
boys you go out there and go get it you know
like total full
metal jacket
style you know
look man any of us
could have been sucked into that i
could have got sucked into
it you could have got sucked into it
we all could have
but the idea that they’re over there protecting us
man we have to sit down
and fucking talk this through like what are you talking
about you know they’re protecting us
like they’re protecting our freedoms
look if they really were protecting our freedoms what a
noble thing
if there really
was some evil empire out there like like
the the nazis
that were trying
to fucking take out americans there was
millions of them and they’re
storming the beaches and taking over countries
that’s not what’s happening
okay there’s a
bunch of fucking dudes living in caves
and we don’t even have to fucking go in with
what we’re doing now that’s most
successful is
these fucking drones
these these
aircraft they’re
shooting around
total straight
video game type shit
shooting hellfire
missiles into mountains and killing people
i mean that’s probably the best way to hunt
these fucking
dudes anyway if there really are terrorists out there
like the whole
thing is nuts you hear people like michael
moore saying that there’s only a hundred taliban
or a thousand taliban
what he said
living in afghanistan
it was a hundred or a thousand either one of thems nuts
the fact that we got 30 000
troops over there is like what
we just sent 30 000 more
like what the fuck are we doing
it’s all so
scary that we’re putting our
trust into people that are
known liars
you know the idea of
protecting america
the idea of
being a proud
citizen and
standing up for your country that’s all noble
the real problem is
who is giving the goddamn fucking
orders people that totally cannot be trusted
across the board
full of shit
at every goddamn turn
whether it’s the
gulf of tonkin
whether it’s the weapons of mass destruction in iraq
whatever the fuck it may be
you know and it’s not just republican it’s democrat
it’s this fucking crazy
healthcare thing
and this fucking
crazy thing that’s
going on with the bank bailouts
where all this
money is just flying around
and there’s no accountability and nobody knows
where the fuck it’s
going and these
executives that came from these
companies that got
big fucking bailout
checks they’re taking big
bonus checks and saying
well they don’t get
these bonuses they quit like
fuck you what is happening
this is a goddamn money grab
like how is this money grab
going on the
money grab’s going on
cause they’re all corrupt the democrats the republicans
they all owe
favors to people
that got them in office and they suck dick
and kiss ass
and they let this bullshit pass through
so it’s not just the republicans
it’s not just
the people who want war the military industrial complex
it’s fucking all of them
it’s all of them
we live in a horribly corrupt
system that is we’re like sick
we’re like the
human race is sick like there’s something
wrong with the way we
think and behave
and or it’s
right and we
think it’s wrong
we’re supposed to
think that well it
doesn’t know because it
doesn’t have to be this way if you want total
enjoyment for the people that are participating in it
it doesn’t have to be this way
and the way it is
right now it’s
is this way because
too many people are passive and they’re sitting back
and they’re just
allowing this
life to keep rolling forward in the same direction
look it’s going in a certain direction for sure
but it doesn’t have to be negative and it
doesn’t have to fucking involve war
it doesn’t have to involve all this shit that’s
going on in
these other
countries we’re being
tricked into
thinking it does
we’re supposed to be getting past that shit
and we’re supposed to be
evolving in a technological sense
we should be
evolving socially too
and we’re not
we’re still socially the same way we were
thirty forty fucking
fifty years ago we’re
still doing the same dumb shit
where it’s gigantic
groups of people led by
a couple of leaders
will attack another gigantic
group of people
and a bunch of fucking
people that have nothing to do with anything die
and someone is getting
money from it
all it’s that’s all it is
it’s all about resources
every fucking one
that’s ever been fought ever
they’re about resources
and it’s just
crazy that in 2010 we
you know the real problem is we live too long
you know right
now we live to be like fucking eighty ninety a hundred
you live long enough to figure out it’s all bullshit
back in the day
when you were
fighting for the
roman empire
you know you
died of fucking plague when you’re you know nineteen
you know i’m saying
if you live to be
thirty you did a lot of shit you got a long ass life
you know jesus that killed him at
thirty three if he was ever real
you know i mean look at all that
the people that live back then
you know nowadays
motherfuckers live forever
you know you you hear
about some new lady in france
just you know a hundred
twenty six what
a hundred twenty fucking six
smoke cigarettes
drink red wine what the fuck
one twenty six
it’s incredible
people live way long
and you live
if you live past a certain point like
you and i are very fortunate because we’re in the
entertainment industry
so we don’t have a specific job that we have to do
every morning
like we don’t have to go to work and work on
say insurance cases all day
stuff that we’re not interested in
we’re lucky that we get to create and we’re
lucky that we get to do
stuff that we find interesting but it’s all fun
but for most people that’s not the case and when
when it’s not the case and when your
whole day is filled with work
and i’ve been there before and you’ve been there before
you don’t fucking
think too much
you don’t figure too much out
you know when you’re working eight
hours of goddamn
day plus and you try to get some overtime
because you got
extra bills and credit card debt and shit
you know when it gets to a certain
point in time
you know at the end of your day man you don’t
got time to contemplate the universe or culture or
you know why people behave the way they behave
no you just fucking keep going
you know life is goddamn hard
you just keep fucking going
but you and i have way more time by ourselves to
think on our own
than most people
so you get to a certain
point time and you know what by time forty two
by time you like
forty two like fuck man
the whole hustle is so obvious and stupid
it’s like the same hustle that
woulda got me when i was 18 i
would’ve goddamn joined the army for sure when i was 18
when i’m 42 it makes me angry
because somebody my
age is doing this hustle
on someone who’s 18
you know not even my age
older than me
you know i mean it’s like you
should have figured it out already
you motherfuckers that are
older than me that are running the planet
you should be delivering this message you
should have figured this out
you should know that we’re living like retards
that this is nonsensical
that this is no
this is not sustainable
but we could live a sustainable life
and it doesn’t involve
going to countries
where you’ve
never been and fucking up people you’ve
never met it
doesn’t involve that
you know and this fucking argument like
about our boys well you know what do you want our
boys to die that’s how they have to behave over there
that’s stupid that’s a
stupid argument
yeah i know
that that’s how they have to behave when they’re at war
a hundred percent
but that’s not
the argument the argument this is is this is nonsense
they shouldn’t fucking be there in the
first place
it’s not that they’re not
heroes it’s not that they’re not
brave they are
absolutely have to be mean
that’s real fucking
fighting that’s real live killing and fighting
with tanks and missiles and jets and shit
that must be
white knuckle terrifying
you didn’t even like hurt locker did you nope
how come you didn’t like hurt locker
that was boring as fuck
you need to go to a doctor get your balls
checked out son
that movie was
we talked about as a million times i know we did you
gotta get your balls i’ll tell you what sucks
clash of the titans oh
yeah that sucks oh
stupid you see it
oh it was dumb
it was so dumb i mean i
like the special
effects are kind of badass the kraken was pretty dope
when the kraken comes out you like god that thing is i
heard it was like a made for tv
movie the special
effects sucked ass i
heard i just heard
i kind of like the medusa
you know the problem was there wasn’t enough shit
going down you know yeah
yeah i don’t
wanna see it did you see hot tub time machine
um no i haven’t seen that yet i
heard that was
bad too but what is this gentleman saying
i don’t like to respond too much to negative people but
i don’t know what he’s saying of course he’s reading it
all he cares
about is his internet
reputation not even listening
you talking to me
some chick asked me a question on twitter today
it was one of the
it was one of the most ridiculous questions
that i’ve ever like
heard ever so i like look at this
this chick says to me
her name is
taurus spotsy
twelve i don’t know
what the fuck it is it’s on my twitter feed she says
joe you can’t seriously not believe in evolution
you don’t believe in that joe
listen listen but listen how it’s worded
you can’t seriously
not believe
like i didn’t
even know what she was asking i had lost it so i said
if i can’t not
that means i can
right what the fuck
yeah what does that mean
and then i’m saying then i said that
i’m not saying i don’t not i’m saying she don’t know
if i do or don’t know
i was like fucking
did something about
twitter speak and
something about
text speak that’s making people really retarded i know
it’s so much better than cursive man i got a letter the
other day in cursive and it made me cry
i will take
i will take
no no you know cause cursive doesn’t imply
stupid to me
when i read something in text speak like you are
i go god damn yeah but i dudes do it when dudes do it
tries to be nuts yeah but my
brain could immediately skip to and
understand what it
was supposed to say recursive i’m more like
okay that’s a z
that’s y o u apostrophe
r e when you get a goddamn text message from me
you’re gonna get a fucking apostrophe
you’re gonna get a u apostrophe r e
i’m old school son
i’m old school son i prefer a
stick shift there’s just too much goddamn traffic in la
but i really prefer to
shift my own fucking gears you know i’m saying
do you like to shift your own gears uh
not in la now fuck fuck that get a nice fucking
bmw or nine eleven turbo or some shit
i’m done with
automatics i mean manuals i don’t know man for
sports car there’s nothing like it so fun
i have a little bmw little
m three i love that
thing but it’s got the paddle shifters
and the paddle
shifters are
pretty dope in traffic because you really can
shift gears
when you want and you really control the engine
but man there’s something about
pressing that foot
that clutch down
putting that gear in
click click
letting the clutch off
hitting the
gas at the same time it’s like you’re in tune
with the machine man you’re in tune with the machine
i’m just pressing buttons
i’m hitting the gas i’m
pressing buttons and it’s fun i mean
don’t get me
wrong the fucking car is fun as shit
these little cars now they make like little bmws
they handle
so good man
they’re just like they’ve figured it out now
and there’s a
crazy horsepower war now
so like regular cars that you buy are so much more fast
than they’ve ever been before
this bmw old bmw before this one had
333 horsepower
this one has 420
it’s fucking ridiculous
it’s as fast as my old 911
turbo that old porsche that i used to have
that thing was
stupid fast
this thing is
just as fast as that
but handles way better like the balance is like perfect
it’s like you feel like you
could just move it like it’s not even
real it’s like it’s a go kart or something you know
it’s incredible what they’re doing now
those new like
those new mustangs
that the shelby
the the what is it the the gt
five hundred
those fucking
things have five hundred forty
horsepower man
and you can
never buy car
yes but fun as fuck
that’s fun as fuck dude
if you had one of
those mustangs
those really fast one boom boom
that does nothing for me anymore oh
when i was a kid
when i was a kid yes but nowadays i’m like
no i want to live okay what if you had a weekend car
what if you had this and you had it like a mustang gt
five hundred for a weekend car you don’t
think that would be fun
and fucking just just not safely i’m not talking about
going down residential roads going
150 miles an hour
but that merging out to the highway
get to 70 like
that son you feel that fucking roar that v8 those
fat four inch pipes
are you kidding me that’s fun as fuck
that is fun as fuck i
guess i haven’t done it in a
while yeah you
haven’t done it in a while
if you did it if you did it
every now and then you realize that’s fun as fuck man
there’s a you know there’s gonna be a
limit though a certain
point in time like
how fucking fast can
these things go
the new 911
turbo is zero to 60 in
three goddamn seconds
three seconds
one two three 60
miles an hour that’s insane
yeah crazy stop getting text from your girl and fucking
shut that shit off 20
battery level yeah
yeah you faggot
acknowledge me dude please
there i did i acknowledged you dude you’re way behind
ryan pelicia
way behind what are you talking about
it’s this too much
there’s too many people
too much too many people have i ever seen a
movie called falling down with michael douglas yes
great good goddamn movie
i love it and
that’s how you feel when you live in la you know in la
after a while you’re like
you know there’s too many
humans they did
population density studies with rats
they took rats
they put them in a box and there was you know
there’s a certain
population of rats and they were cool with each
other and then they
doubled it and they
started getting a little
crazy and they tripled it
and when they got to like a high number
where the rats were on top of each other
rats develop mental illnesses just like
human beings do
some rats would sit by themselves and shake
and just like face the corner i mean
literally the way
human beings are
is mirrored in
population density studies for
all sorts of animals so
you take us
and you put us in the same the reason why people
yell at each
other on the highway
that’s craziness like why we get so angry and
angry on the highway
just because we were on top of each other just
eating each
other’s energy on the planet
you’re not supposed to live like that
and so that movie
you know that
movie just resonates with everybody i
think when he just went fucking
crazy when you live in a
place like la
la’s got 20 million people in it
i mean that was the reason why i
moved to colorado in the
first place
i wanted to get away
from this heavy vibration of all
these people
you know i don’t
think this is a healthy way to live i don’t
think it’s a healthy
thing to be like this many people
to me i feel like i’m living in a game of
musical chairs
like one day some shit’s
gonna go down and i’m just
gonna have to go further away
you know i don’t feel like i
could stay here no
did you feel that
earthquake the
other day no i didn’t i was in the car
i didn’t feel it either
i was in the car either but it was a mess like a wave
our friend duncan said that
his bookshelf was moving he said it felt like you were
on a boat like you’re waving that said our
friend duncan’s done a lot of acid in his day well i
heard it from a few people same time
same exact wavy motions wow
like three people told me
well it was a pretty big one you know it was a 70
right six point yeah six
point nine or
something would in baja california
and that’s like mexico and then there was isn’t that
where jesse
ventura lives
i don’t know
it’s fucking government and then fifteen minutes
later twenty minutes
later there was like a four
point three
north finders north
los angeles
the governor
tried to fly with me
that’s a bad jessica
winter impression
that’s great
that dude lives in
mexico half the year seven
point two i think that’s pretty cool
seven point two
seven point eight
indonesia two hours ago whoa
is that true
okay i’m gonna have to
check that shit out that’s
ridiculous i might
have to run hide in the basement if that shits real
indonesia sir okay
let’s move that
north carolina yeah right
how cool was that right
north carolina i’ve been
thinking about that lately
massive earthquake rock
southern sumatra and indonesia 78 on the rector scale
whoa motherfucker it’s true
four minutes ago this is on
these websites
god damn i love this little latest results thing and it
scrolls down it shows you all the shit
yeah i love that google is the shit
okay i’m willing to give up some personal liberty
so that google could be running shit
all right see what else we got here son
these podcasts have been a lot of fun
and met a lot of people last week
on the road in new york
and in north carolina and
thank you all very much for coming out and
i’m glad you enjoy the podcast
cause we love doing it man it’s fun as shit we
tesla got fucked by rockefeller yes he did you know the
the best version of that story is
duncan trussells drunk history
i don’t have a link to the
video but i’ll put it up for you guys i’m
gonna find the video for you because it’s so cool you
guys it funny or die duncan trussell
drunk history
they get duncan super super
drunk and yes there it is right there drugs history
i’m gonna put this shit on twitter content reject go
back in terms of you go back to that your
search results there was a video
daily motion stole it fucks
it’s hilarious though yeah it’s amazing
duncan was so wasted it
they get like bottles of tequila and shit and absence
oh yeah absence
right right have you ever done that shit
yeah never did really never did enough to have it
like i feel it or anything i don’t think
i did a long time ago
what is this um what is duncan’s uh duncan trussle
is it one s or two two
what’s that t r u s s e l l tell you right there okay
i have to give my man props on the twitter
it’s hilarious you gotta watch this
drunk history thing it’s really
pretty spectacular
but for the people that are tuned into itunes
right now you ain’t you get no link you motherfuckers
you don’t even know what we’re talking about
duncan trussell
drunk history if you google that
they’ll be a website up
where you can
watch you can
watch the youtube clip you can watch it on funny or die
you can watch it a couple different
places but it’s hilarious and yeah
edison was a cunt
and westinghouse they were cunts and
tesla was a genius but
their defense
tesla also fell in love with a pigeon
and yeah and he had an
issue where he destroyed his sexuality
like he had some fucking
crazy problem
with some actress and he fell in love with her
and you know this is all like really vague
stuff but the
in his own words he destroyed his sexuality
they don’t know
if they castrated himself they don’t know what
there was also a lot of speculation that he
might have been gay or whatever too you know
he was definitely a loon
but again i
think you have to be a loon to be like the fucking
greatest genius that the
world has ever
known i mean that guy was nuts man
that got created all kinds of shit
alternating current and
you know i mean like
literally like
you created
a way to fucking broadcast electricity through the air
you know the only problem with it was that it
would be like free wi fi they
wouldn’t be able to control it like to have it in your
house you’d just be able to have it
but i guess now you
could have like a password
you pay for the password well they already do that
in some cities they have citywide wi fi and it’s free
yeah but i’m not talking
about that i’m talking
about electricity oh
talking about if they
would be able to do that with electricity like and
put a password on it the way we put a password on wi fi
today right either way
nikolai tesla is a perfect example what we were talking
about earlier is a dude who’s like a just gigantic
super fucking genius
it like the
greatest genius ever and
completely bat
shit insane
just just just out of his fucking mind
claim that all of his information he received
um from aliens
that he would
you know he
would tune into
alien signals
and they would tell him i do all the
stuff you know
i always wonder
about that i always wonder
where the fuck ideas come from
what if ideas are
literally like a living organism
what if ideas
are like you know
you know how we think
about like parasites we talked
about this before like parasites infecting a host
right you know
and they take over the host body
like that grasshopper that gets infected by this worm
the aquatic worm grows inside the grasshopper
to maturity
and then when it gets to maturity
it convinces the grasshopper that it has to jump into
water and drown
so the grasshopper
commits suicide so that this worm can come out of it
what if like language and ideas
literally are like another sort of organism
and what if like they
are manipulating our consciousness
you know what if like language and ideas and all
these different
things that people come up with a
creativity and people
when people are creative
about things they pull
these things down out of the air
i mean what are you doing
you freaking me out
why is it i can see it
i can see that dude
we’re gonna do this podcast are you
gonna play on the
phone hey i’m trying to do some tech support here to
see if our you
stream shows
could be yeah we don’t need to see it we can
watch it on here
i don’t you gotta have
a real conversation
because you were not having a conversation you’re not
having a conversation you’re talking
about theories
and i’m listening talk back
then motherfucker i’m not
gonna interrupt your theories i don’t
understand why you’re sitting there and i’m seeing this
flash of your fucking ipad are you
seeing that i am
brian why are you arguing with me i am and
you know what am i lying
no you’re defending yourself
when i’m telling you it’s distracting all right
i’m sorry for listening to you while
looking at trying to do something and doing it more
than once it’s not tech support it is i’m not at
brian stop arguing
with me i’m not asking you to do this all
right okay jesus
that seemed very unnecessary
it’s not unnecessary
brian you’re
distracting me you distract me by web surfing in
front of me and i’m looking at your
screen was i web surfing
whatever you’re doing i’m seeing you fucking
flipping through pages
and you’re not listening
to what i’m saying okay we’re not having a conversation
we weren’t having a fun you’re talking
about theory
about something i’m listening
the thing we’re doing
right here this is
seven hundred
twenty four people i
understand you call the podcast
joe you were doing a theory i was listening to you by
watching you flip through this fucking
thing you’re not listening to
me because i’m trying to do something for the show joe
brian brian
don’t do it i told you not to do it earlier
this weird just had a little gross bat
a little hissy fit
it’s the ipad it’s fucking evil ipad he’s right
guy said the ipad’s evil it’s causing you to do that
to what if i
wasn’t doing
that i would have been like this
doing the exact same
thing we’re talking i would expect that you know
when you’re talking i do the same i
think you know when people are talking to each
other they sit back the
other person listens yeah if you’re doing a
bunch of shit i’m just telling you man i
know a bunch of shit
while i’m talking i know you’re not listening to me
joe joe joe it’s not that if i
were to go off for 15 minutes 10 minutes at a time you
would do the
exact same thing
yes you would not what we’re doing you
would not let me
talk for 20 minutes
right i’m not
talking for 20 minutes
and we’re doing a podcast all right
we’re not having a conversation though ryan
jesus christ
why you defending this because you’re attacking
really simple
not attacking yes
i told you twice
to stop looking at that fucking
thing that is distracting
it will look at this
thing then it’s in
front of us doing the same thing
no it’s not because you’re not
flipping through
things and moving
stuff around i
could tell you’re not paying attention
and it’s distracting me
okay sorry okay damn
have i looked into the illuminati
what if harp
caused the earthquakes shut the fuck up
okay whoever you are
god damn it with your nonsense go read some
david ike books
wow red band’s
the man shut the fuck up joe how dare you
listen we have
moved on you fucks but i have to i have to
set this boy straight
but we got issues
okay let’s go to we’re gonna go to the rogan board
go to my website
and find some of the questions people have there
to try to change gears here
okay let’s get some questions here
can you do this
can you talk
about being more flexible any books you or
eddie recommend on stretching and flexibility
just take yoga
if you really want to
learn how to suck your own dick
that’s why you’re that’s why you’re asking god damn it
you said you hung out with ron jeremy
he was at the party i was at the other day
did you guys hung
did you hang out did you talk
i said hi to him that’s about it
he used to be able to suck his dick
that’s why i had a bit my act about it
but he got too fat
and then the joke was that
that’s how overrated sucking your own dick is
that guy never
just sits at home and watches tv does he
cause that dude’s out
i mean i see that guy at least once a month
yeah somewhere
he’s you know it’s kind of funny
he’s like really into being like a mainstream
like success
you know he would always tell me
about things he’s done like i’m not doing this new
movie with this guy and i’m
gonna do a cameo on this tv show
you know and he’s like i’m
really trying to make it as a mainstream actor i’m like
dude you fucking
ron jeremy okay
do you understand
that you’re like a hero
to ugly fat dudes all across the
world you fuck the hottest
women on the planet
he’s fucked all of them
every single one of them he has a giant dick
and he’s fucked all of them hard
slaps them around fuck some doggy
style nuts in
their mouth and face
i mean he’s a goddamn champion
he’s a champion
and if that was like something that you thought was
gonna be like that you feel like you
could be a champion
about you know
like a lot of people like oh you fuck a 5 000 hot
chicks that
would be oh god i feel horrible you know
what you really
think people
would think that that’s a bad
thing like a
regular guy that
never gets laid that looks like him
to a regular guy that looks like monsters
look like that
that’s true he
was like pretty
fancy back in the day
he was a decent looking guy when he was younger
but he was never like
a hot stud you know
these girls are tens
right you know i mean and now he’s like this
gross fat hairy guy with
great chest hairs yeah and he’s
still banging them
all the new ones all the new ones have to pay
homage to the
staff of the king
right he’s like a
superhero for horn
yeah if you’re a dude who looks like him in jersey
you know you’re a fucking mailman or
you’re delivering sausages to the fucking
local supermarket
ron jeremy looks like you
and he’s banging tens and you can’t get late at all
you know you’re
lucky if you get some
toothless blowjob
from some hunts
point hooker
that just makes you
check your balls every
five seconds for the next
three days looking for herpes sores
you know what i mean
you’re lucky
if that’s you know that’s like as good as you can get
you know that’s
gonna cost you a hundred
fifty bucks it
would fucking cost you
you know this this
motherfuckers just
bang and he looks
just like you he’s banging them all over the place bang
i can’t wait to these
chest hairs turn gray
really they look sexy
do you ever
think about shaving that
i hate it dude
i fucking hate shaving because
what looks better
how like being an animal being a man or having
white little red bumps
everywhere with ingrown hairs and
stubble and you look like
i just think you’re supposed to
let it go supposed to be a man supposed to be an
animal and not true shaving your fucking problem with
jujitsu is if you especially
train with the g on
guys grab you
right here fuck
that they grab your you know your your collar
and when they grab your your
your collar they grab fistfuls of
chest hair it hurts like a
i suppose that gee
man gmad gee
you’re supposed to
have a gee man
yeah but they grab it through the gee
i mean that’s
the gee gets caught up in the
chest hairs
there’s a lot of like
guard passes
where a guy’s on top of you
and he pushes down
on a collar and grabs it they always get a fistful so
people grab your
chest hair you get like ringworm
staff effects and there’s no reason to be doing
jiu jitsu well
it’s definitely hard to justify sometimes you know
think about injuries i mean i’ve gone through
since doing
jiu jitsu i’ve gone through
two knee surgeries
one meniscus
one reconstruction
i’ve had all sorts of fucking back problems and so
why is jit jitsu
not one of the
things like if you
had a stove that
smelled like gas you
were always burning yourself there was always
flames coming out of it
why would you keep on
using that stone why
would they keep
doing it it’s like surfing when the guys
crash and get
scratched up it’s so much fucking fun to keep doing it
jujitsu when
you get good at it is really fun dude it’s really fun
you’re going
basically hand
to hand combat and you’re doing it with good friends
like these guys that i do
jiu jitsu with
you know you would
trust each other with
basically each
other’s lives
when a dude gets my back and
chokes me and i tap
i’m trusting that he’s
gonna let me go before he fucking kills me
cause basically he’s got to a
point where he’s killing me
and that’s the same thing
with you when you get on top of a dude
and you’re finishing
off a choker and armbar or something and a guy
starts tapping
he’s basically
trusting that you’re not
gonna injur him
you know and sometimes people get injured accidentally
but the amount of times that i don’t
get injured it’s way more the amount of times that i do
you know i get injured but i’ve had
these operations and shit over the course of doing
jiu jitsu for 14 years
it’s a long ass time
you know and
the first year or so
first couple years i had a knee issue that
i already had like
the knee surgery on my left knee the meniscus i had the
meniscus problem for years before that so it was a pre
existing injury
so really the only
major one that i had was the knee surgery
but you just get it
fixed then you fucking heal up and you just train
smarter next time
you realize
don’t put yourself in bad positions and don’t
train with spasms
that’s another
thing you gotta make sure you don’t train with
anybody that you don’t trust
you know it’s very important
guys some guys are just like a little too nutty
they fucking spas out on you when you
train and you got to be real careful
those dudes because they want to win so badly
the best guys are the guys who are really good
because guys
are really good even though they tap you out
even though
they can beat you they’re
gonna beat you with technique and you’re much safer
you’re literally safer with a guy who can kick your ass
who’s a black belt than you are with a guy who’s
strong who’s a blue belt
cause that strong blue belt
might fucking dive on your foot and
break it you
might try to get you in a foot lock
and get a hold of it so
quick trying to tap you out
that he hurts you before you can get a chance to tap
you know it’s a very
tricky thing but
doing it good is so much fun dude it’s so much fun
it’s so much fun
and you don’t
think about anything else it really is like a form of
meditation you know when you’re in there and you’re
going at it and you’re rolling with each
other you’re not thinking
about your bills you’re not
thinking about you
gotta wash your car and
your laundry no you’re thinking
i gotta survive here i
gotta get out of the situation
you know i gotta
get into full
guard i gotta pass his
guard i gotta mount
i gotta finish him i
gotta stop him from finishing me
that’s all you’re thinking
about is the moon the moment
and whenever you’re
involved in something like that that sat in tents
it’s like a form of
meditation you know
we don’t you
think that way
about like art sometimes like when you’re at your best
and you’re like with your
video editing or whether you’re creating something
like when you’re
right in the middle of it all
you ain’t thinking
about shit but what you’re doing
you know yeah but it’s always getting
getting it done
it’s never like i’m
enjoying it oh no fuck no
when i’m painting a
painting when i’m editing a
video and i’m doing anything
it’s getting it done it’s not
i’m not having fun
i’m not having fun
while doing it
i’ll have spurts of fun
while i’m like
going oh that’s a great idea
but that’s not like i’m like boner
style going oh i can’t wait to finish this
video really wow
yeah you know is that an attitude thing
you know i don’t know i mean
i guess i consider that
creativity i consider i’m trying to get
something out of my
brain and do
something else as fast as possible
while i have the idea in my head
like i’m trying to
take my ideas and thoughts
out of my head
and put it in a form
as fast as possible before i lose the original thought
right idea so it’s not like
oh i love this
idea i can’t wait to do it mine is just trying to
get what i want
what i thought of out
fast i like
making notes
with the iphone
using that little
but i don’t
like that i have to fucking go in the menu find it
press that press record
i think i’m
gonna get like a little tiny
voice notes thing
and when i have ideas like that
when i’m writing and i have an idea when i’m trying to
write it down
i think i’m just gonna
press it and
say the idea into it so i know for sure that i’m not
gonna lose it
you know i mean
like if you have your iphone that record app you just
open up a program hit record that’s yeah
but i wanna be able to just one press
and it’s recording you know what i mean step two
just that yeah
for real i mean it
sounds ridiculous
but it is i mean it is that
yeah i mean i have
the biggest problem like i will have an idea that
might be the coolest
thing i’ve ever thought of and if i
last or wait like five
seconds 10 seconds i
might accidentally
think of something else and that idea is gone
yeah i have that problem so much and i know it’s mostly
when smoking weed
because lately i’ve been smoking weed maybe once
twice a week instead of
almost every day
and i feel so much
sharper my memory
so much better it’s amazing how much better i feel
already and i’m just from cutting it well you
also don’t exercise that much either that’s a big part
about the weed
you gotta blow that out of your system
you know it’s not
just if you just sit around and just keep smoking weed
every day every day
the weed starts to lose its
effect and then you
start to have to get more weed
to kind of and then you’re like
you’re like
flooding your
system you know i
think that when you
smoke weed you can
shit like if you
wanna do something
creatively you can’t
smoke too much you
gotta have one hit
one hit’s good
if you have two or
three you might lose
track of what the fuck you’re talking
about yeah sometimes it’s fun to have two or three
but for the most part
one it’s a little bit i read that oh this is professor
not read saw this interview once with this professor
was a i think he was a physics professor
pretty sure
but he was talking
about marijuana and he was saying that he
smokes a little bit
he said the key is to not overdo it i
smoke one hit
and i go on walks
and i contemplate my theories
you know and
he says that that one hit he says it’s like
a magical push
like a little boost
just helps gives him gives him
a little momentum a little wind in his sails you know
and then it
starts the ball rolling
you know don’t you ever
think that like
sometimes you’re creating something you’re
trying to do something and you’re not smoking weed
and you’re like god so oh yeah
not getting
anywhere and then you
smoke a little weed and then all of a sudden
bam right but
the main thing i
think it is
it just gives
you a different perspective of the same idea that
you’re thinking almost like you’re multitasking you’re
thinking one way this way and you
smoke weed and you can
think of it
a different way and that’s
one of the only ways you
could ever do that
changing your
brain i mean you’d probably do it on cough
syrup and think of it a different way you know but weed
i think is the most effective and fastest
and reliable because you’re so used to that
other side george
carlin had an interesting take on writing what he
would do he would
write everything
first sober
and then he would
smoke a joint and go over it
which i think is kind of interesting
because he’s got like he put up the
skeleton of the
house first
and then he
starts adding don’t do it the
other way around
there because then it always sucks you know
well i don’t know man
i think if you if you write
to the high
sometimes you can come up with some crazy shit
and then if you go over it sober you go oh this is too
ridiculous yeah and then you can edit it
i think the
combination of the two is what’s important yeah
i don’t know if it’s necessary
which order
i think thinking of the idea sober and then
going off on the idea
stoned always helps i have better odds that way yeah
maybe i think i
might want to do that with my writing i
might want to
label it you know
like st and
so stoned and sober
and like so i’ll
write stso so you know i did it
stoned and edited sober
all right you know sos
i have some funny
stone jokes that i write and
and i look at them and they are fucking
crazy let me see if i
could pick out one real quick
well the bit that i do in my act
that is totally true that i
wrote down something when i was high and then i went
to read it when i was sober
and it’s like a unicorn is a donkey from the future
i looked at him like how
could i have ever possibly
thought that was something that i need to write down
that is for sure a
sure a sure sign that i got way too fucked up all
right here’s one of my
stone jokes
marble marble
industry has to be hurting right now
remember when you’re a kid marbles bomb
what the fuck who does marbles nowadays that’s actually
funny man that really is funny that’s how
that’s hilarious
new comedy tour half the show
stoned half sober
the problem with that is i
would have to like
start out sober and then step off stage
go outside and get high
and that’s when the cops are
grabbing those
motherfuckers twitter be laying in wait the
worst on twitter is when
you find out that you’re following a fake lisa kudrow
you feel ashamed and disgusted
but you’re not ashamed that you are following her to
begin with i follow everybody man
i follow everybody i can
i mean there’s no one that i follow a lot of real
dummies a lot of really dumb celebrities
it’s really annoying
into themselves
i follow people
that like give out like really patronizing advice and
like ridiculous god
quotes and just
really dumb shit you know
tweet some really dumb shit
deepak chopra
some of this
stuff is just like what are you fucking talking
about you know
deepak chopra you don’t know is he’s like some really
famous authors like
he says a lot of brilliant shit
now i’ve listened to
a lot of his interviews he says a lot of brilliant shit
but goddamn some of his
tweets make me want to kick him in the dick
the balance he’s missing the balance my friends
take a brownie at the
start that’s not a bad idea but the problem with
brownies is
brownies and comedy
do not mix my friend if i took a
brownie at the
start of my act
an hour into the act when the
brownie kicked in
i would be so high i
would not be able to function when i get really high on
brownies man i don’t want to be talking
i don’t wanna talk to people
that stuff’s too
strong i can’t
trust edibles
man they’re like it’s like doing small amounts
of mushrooms now to me like sometimes i feel like
i’m really tripping and there’s
that’s crazy that’s too
great yeah yeah
the fucking the eating it is
spooky man and for people who don’t know it creates
something when you eat it called 11 hydroxy metabolite
that’s four times
stronger than thc so when you eat it
literally is a totally different drug
than when you smoke it
that’s why people when they eat
brownies they always
think they got
laced with something
you know so i can’t do that
so that’s the answer that question there’s no way i
could eat a
brownie go on
stage then an hour in the
brownie kicks in
because then i
would just want to lie on my back on
stage start talking
about the universe and you know
some people
might be into it but there’d be a lot of people that
would leave and go that fucking show sucked
it was really
funny for like an hour
and then he just started talking crazy
he’s lying on his back saying he’s connected to
everything and
people would just not
not enjoy it just take a social dose
well that’s what we’re talking
about we can’t figure out
um what a social dose is because you don’t
unless you’re making the brownies yourself
and then even if you make the
brownies yourself you can fuck up the
first time you get it too strong and
i don’t have that time to like be mastering the
right dose of brownies
smoking is the way to go
well i loved you in calgary to jen ab
calgary was the shit that was fun man
that was a good fucking time
a stone universe tour yeah i
should do that you know would really be cool eventually
right now we can’t do it but eventually when i get to a
point where we can do
stone shows
you know like i could do a show
like somewhere
like in amsterdam they have those cafes where they
allow you to smoke weed
if we had a place like that in america
hopefully in november
yeah hopefully in november but i don’t buy it man
i think the
ea is gonna fucking put the gabash on that shit
the problem with
the drug movement is that making drugs illegal
good for business
and making drugs legal
puts a lot of people out of work it puts the dea out
of work it puts private prisons out of work puts prison
guards out of work
it puts parole
officers and fucking police officers
literally 50
of the people that are in prison
are in prison for non violent drug offenses how many of
those are weed
and what happens when we becomes legal
oh it’s a fucking colossal mess
so what they’re doing by keeping it
illegal is really protecting business and it
sounds crazy it
sounds like nobody
would be doing that
there’s no way the governments that fucked up
no it really is it’s that fucked up that
literally is what it is
the reason why it’s
still illegal is all because of money
there’s no one
dying there’s no one getting cancer
there’s no one losing
their fucking mind there’s
no yet it’s
still illegal
when you can go to fucking cvs and buy jugs of wine and
cheap liquor and
cartons of cigarettes and you
could smoke
cigarettes and
drink yourself to death easy
easy you know
literally you can’t die with pot i mean you can’t
i mean i guess you
could do something really
stupid when you’re
stoned and wind up killing yourself but
if you’re that dumb you probably
would have done something
stupid anyway you know
and when they say don’t die a
pod though you
could totally die
if you say start
panicking because you’re
stoned and then your
heart has a
heart attack die i’ve
never heard of that
of you you would
so you don’t
think that ever happened somebody’s got too
stoned started
freaking out
then their heart fails or something
i’ve never heard of it have you
heard of it
no i haven’t
heard of it
because they can’t really
saying that the weed
is like let’s
look let’s let’s google this if you’re a weak ass
bitch weak ass
weak ass i’m
gonna google weak ass
weed yeah heart attack weed
heart attack
from weed let’s see
can marijuana
cause a heart attack
yahoo answers
let’s see marijuana said to trigger heart attacks
this is just wiki answers wiki answers is
stupid because people like answer
that’s how i thought that whales
that killer
whales used to kill people i’ve read this online
in a couple different places
that killer whales used to kill people
until world war ii
and then people were using the whales as
target practice i’ve read this online and i talked
about on the adam corolla show
and even though i said
i don’t know if it’s true i read it online
that after world war ii
after the bombers you
know killer whales stopped killing human beings
and actually started saving
which would be really fascinating hold on a second
but it wasn’t
true it was just fucking wiki answers man some
crazy whaling guy on wiki answers and i had to like
chase it down
on my website
marijuana said to
trigger heart attacks
harvard harvard
university descends
five times the amount of having a
heart attack in the
first hour after smoking pot a person’s risk of
heart attack
could rise almost five times
god damn that’s if you’re a weak ass bitch
okay so or if
you’re just like one step away from having a
heart attack because you eat a
lot of meat you know or something like that be careful
weak ass bitches
i’m gonna write this be careful
yes that’s why when
you say that like marijuana is our killed went true
it didn’t it didn’t poison anybody it didn’t you know
but if you have some
other problems you smoke weed
absolutely you can same
thing could happen if you lick shoes
and you get you know
there might be something allergic on a shoe that could
trigger off
a sinus infection that will
make you die i really don’t know
where you’re
going with this i have no idea
okay so i just twittered that
careful weak ass bitches marijuana can give you a
heart attack if your ticker sucks
and you can read the story
yeah you mean
you really gonna get a
heart attack from weed
because you’re
freaking out
i definitely
think that there’s another problem
though the real problem is that you’re in terrible
shape and you take care of your body
that’s the problem it’s not pot
you know it’s like
the way i’ve
always described pot not being able to help dumb people
is that you can’t you put jet full
jet fuel in a fucking lawn
mower it’s still a lawn
mower you know
right you know you put jet fuel in a jet and it’s
pretty badass but the bottom line is you know it’s all
about what kind of hardware you’re dealing with
and some people just have weak
brains their
brains just suck
i mean have you ever met people when you look in
their eye and
you’re talking to them and you’re like wow
like there’s
no hope for this dude this dude’s just dull
like i’m looking in his eyes i’m not making any
connection it’s like talking to a dog
he’s like a fucking idiot
there are people and people don’t want to
admit this for whatever reason
there are people that aren’t dumb
they’re just
troubled and
their lives have fallen
apart because they you know
they’ve got all sorts of issues and
you know people go all that guy’s a
retard but he’s not really retard you know he’s kind of
smart there are people like that that are just
troubled and fucked up and
you know perhaps they
never figured
out what it is in this life that they’re good for or
should be doing
but there’s
definitely people with weak ass
9 volt brains
that are just supposed to be out there digging ditches
and to deny that it’s just unscientific
if you look at the entire fucking universe man
it’s all about
things improving and getting better
and if you look at
human beings
there’s all sorts of
things there’s all sorts of programs and
things set up
to make sure that the weak can
still survive
they don’t drop off and when that happens you’re
gonna create a
bunch of dumb people
and having those dumb people around
look they all fit their
their purpose
they’re all here for a reason but if you’re
gonna have a fucking nickel eye
tesla if you’re
gonna have an einstein
for sure you’re
gonna have ditch
ditch diggers dudes who are here to
ditch dicks
ditch dicks
you have ditches
it’s probably they’d set the retard
bar so low in like the 1900s that they just
haven’t raised it yet you know there should be
maybe a test or two that we
haven’t been doing
that makes people that are
instead are dumb they’re just retarded you know like
like you know what i’m talking
about like this person’s so dumb
they are retarded
but you know that they’re like one test
or whatever you want to say that because they
want to say oh you know you give people a chance and
i know everyone’s got a chance i think
there are certain people
where it’s very much cultural
it’s very much there
just they’re raised in an environment
where no one’s questioning anything their role
models are all dunces they grow up in a family
where people are
screaming yell at each
other for no reason and they just
they live in this
stupid world and so they imitate
their atmosphere
and they become
stupid themselves there’s people like that
so it’s not an
exact science
but the problem
is there’s a lot of really fucking dumb people man
when you see
those videos of
those people that go to the saran
palin book signings
those tea bagger people
and they’re all up in arms
against the government
there are some
wooden minds in there just some dull
you know that’s
that’s that’s really a problem that everybody
has to have a say like how do you fix that
how do you fix
what we got going on
as far as like the idea of a democracy the idea of
you know half the people
you know or more
have to agree or have to you know have to the mean
the idea of a real democracy
if more than 50 of people retarded
which i think they are
i would say more than
50 more than 50
how the fuck
do you move forward how the fuck do you
the only way to do it is to make
those people smarter
is to figure out a way to educate
those people to
raise the number of dumb
raise the number of uninterested
uninvolved do you think 50
are retarded like
like they have bad
brains or just education environment
you know i have
i know people
that are great people
but for whatever reason
they just don’t
think the same way that
other people my
other friends do you know like
they’re not
thinking about like
putting their seatbelt on because they don’t
wanna get in
a car accident they just get in the car and
just drive you know like
they just don’t have
like a part of their
brain is not working
like like the deep like just
thinking you
think outside the box
thing but do you
think that’s how they were raised is it nature
no i think it’s i
think it’s just
they’re not
using the same parts of
brains their
brain you know it’s almost like
i just don’t
think that they have that in him you know
i don’t know i really wonder how much of that is due to
like how much of it is due to pollution
you know how much of it is due to what your
mother was eating and doing
while she was
a problem totally that totally
yeah that has to have a big effect
you know i mean if you go on youtube and search
me smoking cigarette
you’ll see some
just guy in west virginia just sitting there smoking a
cigarette and you
could tell just by looking at him he’s retarded
but yet he is probably not considered retarded
no and he can vote
yeah and he can vote yeah
like i had a conversation i’ve been having all
these conversations
about religion on the rogan
board lately because all this catholic scandal that’s
going on and i don’t know if you
know the latest but they’ve proven that the pope knew
about pedophiles
and hid the cases
that when before he was the pope that he knew
about these pedophile cases
and he did everything that he could
to shield the information and protect the priests
it’s like how
could you not
think that the catholic religion is a cult at that
point at that
point it’s a cult
right i mean it’s a cult period
definition wise
but at that
point in time like how
could this possibly be good
you know if at the very top this kind of shit is
going on how do people get
tricked into that how how is that possible
you know how how are people so silly
that in two thousand and ten this is
still considered a possibility like
maybe they’re
right maybe
these kid fuckers are on the ball
maybe they’re the ones that we need to follow
you know maybe this
crazy organization
in in italy
maybe they’re the the masters of all the knowledge like
that’s that’s
is that nature is that nurture what is that is it both
i don’t know i
think it’s i
think it’s the same
thing that when you talk to certain people
they don’t get
technology like they
they’re not informed as much as
other people
is that nature is that nurture i mean how
could people
see to me and to you when we look at
gadgets and new
things like
you know we’ll both like
brian like find some new
thing online like holy shit look at this
and they’ll send it to me or i’ll send something to him
you know and you look at it you’re like oh what
are they doing look what they’re doing with that this
multi touch fucking interface like
minority report type shit or anything
anything new thing
that stuff becomes fascinating man
i think the
later the more we kind of kill off a certain
age group of people that didn’t grow
i think the more people are going to
research for themselves
religion and
stuff like that and i
think religions probably
their future of religions probably
gonna be a lot different and then say the next
hundred years and yeah
ever been ever
i think it’s probably more people have
like realize how
ridiculous it is now
than ever before
you know i don’t
think there’s ever been more questioners
and there’s probably
never been more options either you know with
and the moonies and anything
else and new ones that are popping up left and right
there’s all
these new ideologies that are popping up left and
right people are offering like
new alternatives
and it can’t last
it’s just it’s just
gonna be too much
there’s gonna come a
point in time
where we know the truth
we know like
it’s not gonna be something
that we have to like wonder and make a judgment call on
it’s gonna be like oh i know you’re full of shit
oh i know you’re
lying oh i know the information you’re giving me is not
truthful i can read this i can
understand this
we have an intuitive
sense of what’s
wrong and what’s
right and we also have an intuitive sense
of when people are lying
you know when someone is not being honest with you or
or when you
ever be talking to someone and you know that they’re
secretly like hoping that something goes
wrong with you
like there’s some
secret hate
you know you ever
been talking to someone on the internet
every day yeah
yeah but you know you know that feeling
where somebody really is like they’re
being douchey to you like there’s something there
right right and
you can’t describe it but you get a feeling from them
you know there’s instinctual feelings that we have you
know and deception is a big one man
that’s a big one
when someone’s being deceptive and someone’s
lying to you
does that not
drive you fucking bananas
doesn’t that drive you
crazy well yeah
yeah i mean but you have to also think that
the person the reason why this person’s
acting like this or something like that it’s
because it’s something that they don’t like that you’ve
done to them or that something that you do or you know
so then you have to either
but that’s not always the case sometimes it’s their own
shortcomings that’s causing them to be insecure
i mean we were talking
about earlier this girl that’s
upset at this
other girl that you know
i mean think
about that i mean what is that
where’s that coming from
and no one did anything
wrong there
right now it’s like sometimes it’s
their own shortcomings
if people choosing you over another person
right someone seeing
something that someone else has and saying well that
should be me how come this guy
successful how come
this girl is so
happy and i’m not they get
angry right right
i mean there’s
there’s a lot of shit to
human beings that’s not logical
you know and
but we can feel
that when you’re talking to someone and you mean
how many times you talk to a dude i’ve talked to a
bunch of dudes
where i know there’s some
weird jealousy hate
thing when i’m talking to them
i try to just
be as nice and friendly as possible and like
listen man we’re just meeting for the
first time yeah
i don’t really know you okay
don’t make this a personal
issue know you
think you have this
this rivalry
with me because you know you see me on
television and you don’t like
the fact that
i’m doing something you want to do but i’m just a dude
you know you’re a dude i’m a dude
and the reality is
i’m not taking
your job okay the reality is i got this job and the
other reality is you can get something like it too
you know you can become exactly like me
except your own version of it
you know you
can anybody can do it anybody can be
successful in any any area
that they pursue
you just have to figure
out your way through the fucking path it is possible
you know i mean look muggsy bogues was a fucking
basketball player
he was five foot six yeah you know i mean
anything’s possible
you know there’s
just has to be
your own path
you know and i
think human beings
especially have a real problem
being jealous of
other people and being
upset at other people but
my point is that you
could feel that when someone does that to you
and we’re going to be able to tell when people are
lying we’re
going to eventually be
going to be able to tell
that’s for sure
like something that’s
evolving in us
with language and with consciousness
we’re figuring out
deceptive behavior we’re
figuring it out because we
understand it we recognize it in ourselves
and the more
truthful you are
the more easy it is to pick out lies in
other people
and just so much information too
just like twitter
alone has probably killed a million relationships
and a million
rumors too and you
pretty much can’t do anything nowadays
imagine being married
and imagine
going to a bar
and then you meet this girl and you
start talking to her
and somebody goes oh hey there’s that person takes a
photo of you puts it on
their twitter
now you are just being caught
in front of
five million people you
know it’s like
you pretty much have we’re
gonna have to all have to
start wearing disguises like fake mustaches and
stuff and like
yeah you know it’s
gonna be it’s
gonna be like that fucking
movie with tom cruise what was that
crazy movie one of stanley kubrick’s last
movies they
all wear masks
and they banged each
other oh yeah what
the fuck was that
with nicole
kidman yeah with nicole kid
what the hell was that movie
somebody knows stanley kubrick
was that shit
something will
fucking come up with it i’m just
gonna sit here
till somebody comes up with it
this chick says don’t
cheat then how hilarious are you
jenna bbb no nobody knows the answer to this fucking
movie what is this goddamn
movie i was like
thank you sir
thank you very much
yeah yeah of course you shouldn’t
cheat but the problem is dudes want to
and we’re programmed to well it’s not even
cheating like you
could have just met this person at a bar or said hi
you know just
started talking but
you know mr camera
phone behind you took a
picture of you and now
you’re fucking you know it doesn’t
like shit’s all
crazy now you
can’t do anything for sure
but the reality is the reason why
it’s an issue at all is that
human beings
especially men are
wired to try to populate an entire village
right because that’s how the best
sperm survives
you know that’s why all these
crazy conqueror
motherfuckers like
tiger woods you know
these guys that are so over competitive
that’s why i had so many
checks you know it’s like
the guys just doing nature he’s
spreading his seed
if this was
you know 2 000 years ago that
would be totally normal
but it’s like an offshoot
you know guys
it’s an offshoot of
you know a fucking
warrior instincts you know
he’s out there conquering
and then he’s conquering
you know he’s
like doing what he’s supposed to do he’s like
driving forward yeah
women are wired to grab a man
and keep him for
protection yeah that’s true too
yeah that’s
definitely true
sex addiction is
total bullshit it
is it you sex addicted
motherfucker i
would have to disagree because i know
some people that are totally addicted
to sex at a different
level than i am yeah you don’t know man
you never met some friends of mine did
you ever talk
about the ceramra or the
lotion no you
should talk
about it i have a friend
who used to do a
thing called shooting
and what he
would do is
he would get
these running
pants like those
those really thin sort of like
it’s almost like a
nylon yeah nylon
really silky running
pants and he
would literally
rub the crotch
with a fine grit sandpaper and
and then he
would baby oil
his balls and his shit is junk
and baby oil
everything so it’s all nice and slippery
so he takes this
super thin running
pants and he puts them on over his baby oiled shit
and they would go get lap dances
and they would just
shoot in his pants
cause you know
the girl would be hot to be riding on
him his dick
could get hard it was
literally like sex like
and he had he was like obsessed
with his work you know he has his own company and so he
would work like
these long hours
and you know and
he was very successful
you know had the
whole thing
you know big fucking
house in the hills he had the
whole package
and he worked all day he
was so he had no time for relationships
and he like had some bad
experiences with
women so he thought
women were just trying to rip them off and this
chick that he was dating she went up
cheating on him and he like he got his
heart crushed
so he just decided just go
shooting and this
would be his day he would
go to work work all day
then he would
get something to eat
and then he
would go shooting or he
would go shooting on the way home
and then he
would get something
to eat and then go to bed do it all over
again and that was his
all all of his relationships were lap dances
he would just go and he got caught eventually didn’t he
well he fucked up once and
he went and he put too much baby oil on or i think he
used lube and
literally his
pants were soaked and so
the girl sat on she was like what the fuck
would you like she thought
he pissed himself just like
what are you doing
what’s wrong with you he was like oh i’m
sorry he said i was so embarrassed and he left and
he leaves with his puddle in his pants
baby oil and
lube and it’s like dripping into his
socks and shit see that’s a dick that’s
sex addiction
i think it’s kind of like
i mean he’s into massages
he was into like
being rewarded for his hard work
he was into like fine food and massages
and if prostitution was
legal he would just hire hookers like it was like
if it was like an acceptable normal
thing to do like you
lived in you know some foreign country you know
where they were they allowed prostitution
he would just go to the prostitutes and get serviced
and then go home
you know there’s a fucking
you know did
i don’t i don’t
understand how people have allowed that to be illegal
how do you stop that
why do you stop that why do
people health reasons i
think yeah you don’t want fucking aids
going rampant
like hurt everyone having herpes really though
is that but if you go to
brothels they have to
check those girls they test
those girls if you go to a brothel in
a country that’s respectable supposedly they’re testing
those girls just like they test porn stars yeah
you know i don’t
think it’s a good argument because i
think that if you’re paying attention more
it’s a lot safer
then if it’s some fucking
thing where these
there’s probably
a lot of violence that comes with it too though
people going a little bit too far and raping the person
but wouldn’t it be safer if they did it in a brothel
where there’s security
and when people get
screened and they know someone’s not
crazy and there’s security
there everywhere
i mean that makes much more
sense to me
than some poor girl as to put a fucking ad in
some magazine and then show up
you remember
that girl that came to the comedy store one
night we talked to her she said she was a hooker
and she would respond to ads
and she would
she would only go to them right she
wouldn’t let them come to her is that what it works
right yeah she
would go to them
so that she had an address
you know and she
would tell her friend hey this is
where i went so if anything happens to me i don’t
come back you know somebody killed me
you know and she
would you know she
would go to these
places people’s
places and she
would fuck on
those like it’s
crazy to like
super honest
about it you remember that shit
what was it she was meth it was a meth head
wasn’t that
exactly like a meth
head but she told us i don’t told us what you did
yeah i think she said she did meth
you know and you
could if you had like a real brothel
i think there
would be like a lot less
crime it would be certainly way less rapes
if dudes you just get laid
you know and people
would settle down
and you know it’s like
the this when
you really did fall in love and you really with a
woman like there
wouldn’t be this like this like
desire to be with someone just to have sex because you
could always have sex you
could just pay for it if you wanted to
but you know being a relationship
would be a relationship
where you you really
enjoyed being with that person
you know they
wouldn’t like
especially if you live in a
place where it’s hard to get laid
like if you live in boston or something like that
it’s hard to get laid in boston
it’s not easy man
those go what do you just want to use me
you just want to use me and you get me kind
you drive home oh
i didn’t even know
women were nice
until i moved to
california man i had no idea
you know that’s
funny it’s true
totally true such
angry people
on this side
it’s so goddamn cold it’s cold
it’s just a goddamn disaster
you know there’s a lot of
a lot of tension
you know and a lot of people
there all go get them too you know they move their
their immigrants
you know the
grandparents are immigrants
and they move there from another
country that’s that’s some serious go get them shit
take all your
stuff pack it
get in a boat
sail across the fucking
world and start in some new place
and learn the language and
learn you know how to
that’s how go getter
these people were
so the people that
initially came to this country and the east coast
those are all savages
and the people that went west
are all the people that wanted to get away from the
savages all the people were like
these fucking people are
crazy get me out of here and they all took off
and the furthest
they could get was here
that’s why people in
california are like
the most laid back and the most progressive i mean it
literally is because they’re the ones that are the
ancestors of
the ones that wanted to get the fuck away from
where they were
yeah you know
go try the thin running
pants next time you’re in houston um
i don’t think so man i think you probably
still get diseases with thin running pants
but listen it’s a fucking it’s an excellent possibility
i should add that whole story to my house vegas
routine yeah it’s totally true
joe always talks about
2012 new topic who the fuck are you talking about dummy
i keep answering this chick’s
tweets when did we talk about 2012
we didn’t bring that up
i have no idea shut up hooker
shut your mouth
shut your dirty dirty mouth
this guy says i use naturally
speaking 95 on the pc it’s pretty good
i have a little bit of
speech impediment due to my cerebral palsy
you speak much
clearer than i do so you should have no problem
i believe there’s a new version huh
wonder though if that’s the
pc one is better does anybody know if the better pc one
the pc one rather
is better than the mac one or is it exactly
no sense if the pc ones better
used to be that way
it used to be that the
that the pc one was better
it definitely used to be
but i don’t know now that mac users are like
eight percent of ten percent of the
population or something what is it now eight
yeah what percentage is it man i have no idea
there’s a mental game one can play called channel the
alien wherein
one can find the answers
to complex questions simply by visualizing an ancient
alien from beyond pretending to channel the answers
try it sometime
you’ll be surprised
okay so what this guy is saying this holy
chaos 23 is that
you can find the wise answers to things
by pretending to channel
an alien who has the wise answers
what the fuck are you talking about son
why do i even
think about that
where you getting your weed bitch
okay cause that shit is strong it’s a little too
strong for you you’re off the
track and into the woods okay
your fucking
train is knocking over trees right now
that doesn’t make any sense
i guess i kind of see what
you’re saying you know and i sort of do that sometimes
where i say to myself okay if i wasn’t me
how would i advise myself
and i pretend that i’m talking to
a much more
intelligent version of me guiding my life i do do that
but i don’t pretend it’s goddamn alien
you know i just try to
think of what is if objectively
separate myself
from my life and what’s the best advice i
could give myself if i was
smarter than i am
i just thought
about it again and mad at myself for trying twice
that’s funny dumb shit ever
i think i think you’re silly fellow channel the alien
this guy puny
human the reason
red band isn’t paying attention is because you talk
about the same shit every show
then don’t tune in faggot
you don’t have to like it
it’s all free bitch
ron jeremy fucked your roommate whoa
somebody’s roommate got fucked by ron jeremy
i’m glad you like them dude
all right let’s
go to page one see what questions we got here
how do you think the
world would turn out if it were
to be divided by believers and non believers
would the believers eventually
end up just raping and murdering the non believers into
their cult i hate
these questions
yeah um you know
the real problem with believing and non
believing is that nobody fucking knows you don’t know
and nobody knows you shouldn’t be a goddamn believer
we should be a questioner we
should try to figure
things out but
whenever anybody tells you they got the answers
that person is either full of shit or they want your
money period
no one has the answers you don’t know it’s impossible
there’s no way
have i listened to any daniel
dennett’s lectures no
i don’t know who daniel dennett
is do you know who daniel dennett is no
i will never find
that information son
more information
see that dude go off of me
about the last
podcast how
about politics
yeah you know
emailed me he made a threat
about it he fucking
tried to contact me on something i am
it’s an interesting
topic you know because i go back and forth on it and i
agree with you to a certain extent it really is
silly um to
you can waste
so much of your energy
thinking about politics but then
you know the
argument is we’re supposed to be governing ourselves
governing ourselves in this country and that
you get the option to vote and you know you get the
right to express
your opinion you can actually change the world but
i don’t know if you can
you know i’m not
completely convinced at this point
with the amount of
money that they’re able to
contribute to campaign funds the
giant corporations are able to they’re
literally shaping the way people see things
they’re putting ads
and manipulating
people’s thoughts and getting people to believe
things that aren’t necessarily true
also they can
push a certain agenda so that somebody can make
money i mean
this situation is totally corrupt
i mean so much
money is involved in politics now and so much
money is involved in
you know in running the
world and you know just look at what
obama’s done with this
all this fucking
bailouts and this
when you look at this
whole health care system
thing someone has to be making
money there’s no way they’d be putting this much
effort into this
whole health care thing
if it was just about
keeping the
people healthy and making sure that people have
medical coverage it’s not
there’s money involved in it it’s corruption it’s
gonna get crazy
and it’s a goddamn
money grab just like the bailout is
and it’s all very very boring to me
and the real
thing about it is it does get boring
the real thing
about it is you can
never have all the information it’s impossible
and it’s a trap i care
about the things
i want to care about
about the government
if they decided to make a bill
about banning the internet
or that cats are
gonna be illegal
they don’t care
about that part that’s that part of it
but i’m not
gonna sit there and try to figure out
everything from a to z
about our government and
freak out about it because you know what
i’m freaking out
about my mail being delivered
you know i’m
thinking have my own shit that if i did that i’ll just
be an angry person
you know would argue that
shit yeah i
agree with you i see your
point but people
could also argue that that’s apathy
people could say that that’s what’s
wrong with this country that people don’t care
but i say that
until someone
acknowledges the fact that this
system is broken
we need a radical
overhaul of this
system a complete
of the way we do
business in this country it’s called moving to canada
it’s not even moving to canada
cause they’re corrupt too neither
right there’s a big fucking there’s a big scandal
the minister of finance
i believe is involved in a big scandal in canada
people are corrupt
man it’s human beings
people are less corrupt in
places where people are less ambitious like canada
where people are more laid back and friendlier
you know that’s one of the
things that’s cool
about canada people are just like
they’re less
crazy up there they’re a little cooler a little calmer
you know i think that
i think you know you
could waste your
whole life trying to
understand this
system and be a part of it and
argue it and go to court and
it will become
your everything
and it’s a system that we’re born into
we’re born into this
system that we did not choose
we have no control of
and it’s so comprehensive and so fucking intertwined
that just to study
a single branch of it
would take up all of your time
if you just wanted to
understand the
stock market
that shit would take up
every fucking hour of
every day of your life
just trying
to figure out how all that shit worked and even then
look at that fucking guy that that
that that bernie made off
that guy was ripping off people who
understood the business
that guy ripped off everybody
he ripped off millionaires and shit
he ripped off fucking steven
spielberg you know he ripped off all these
really big name people
so that means nobody knows how it works nobody
understands that thing
could you imagine if
your whole life
is dedicated to
studying the
stock market
you’re a supposed expert
people ask you for advice and meanwhile you got fucked
it’s a goddamn con game
nobody understands it fuck politics
it’s not politics we’re talking
about man we’re talking
about the whole system
we’re talking about money we’re talking
about everything
and we’re talking
about this attitude of fuck politics it’s like
what what can
be done that’s the big question what what can be done
to make the
world better if you had any say
in you know trying to figure out what direction we
could go to make
everything easier for everybody what
would you do
have everything be
make a lot more sense
because right now
everything from
the schools taxing
everything about the government makes no
sense to the average person
but if they can have like a website you have to go to
every day and go okay guys today’s
topic of the day do you think that slavery’s legal
yes no and then have the whole country vote
right there make it
super planned out and easy and make it
something like that because right now
no one gives a fuck what’s going on
right we start talking about education and
money and stuff like that
you get into
really complex subjects it’s not that simple it’s like
having people vote because then you run into the same
issue like people just put out propaganda
oh if slavery is not legal
that means the iraqis
will attack us and they’ll rape your baby and next
thing you know
slavery is legal
again i mean people are dumb
yeah i know but it
should be yeah i mean it
should be a vote though
system because
right now it’s like no one gives a
vote but no one knows
what’s vote online
like if there’s a vote online whether or not you
should be killed tonight
right now if people
watch this podcast
maybe 60 of the people
would want you dead obviously
for real that’s how
crazy people are
i know yeah that’s true you can’t like
allow that’s
why all this shit’s all broken anyway
you can’t fix it no matter what me red band thinks
about fucking any of this
doesn’t matter it’s
gonna happen
the way it’s
it’s gonna happen
you just called yourself by your internet name
i know that’s what
that’s from that thread everyone
was calling me like a
third person like
who cares about a red band you know
what red band
was designed for mac computers and cats and
i agree completely
because who the fuck cares i can’t change anything and
even if i could
one person i don’t
wanna devote
my life to see if i
could or not i don’t give a fuck
about that it’s like baseball to me
right the real
problem is it does take away from
everything that you enjoy
and people say well you have to
fight for your rights
do you really
why don’t you just have your rights
that’s the real
goddamn problem the real problem is that i have to
think about this fucked up
system at all
that it’s so broken
you have to keep an eye on it 24
hours a day
because people are just
stealing and getting
us into fucking wars and making terrible decisions
and they’ll
blame it on all
these troubles that are happening in
other countries
but when you
start fucking reading
into it and you find out the shit that we do that
causes all these
troubles know
god damn no
wonder why everybody fucking hates us we got our
dirty little fingers and everything
so it’s like it’s not me it’s not me that has my
dirty little fingers in afghanistan and iraq and
you know and fucking all sorts of shit that goes on
third world
countries and it’s not you either yeah
you should be able to fucking pursue what you
wanna do and the idea that you have to
go over there and kill some people to do that it’s just
damn in 2010
we pretend like you go to australia like
when we went to australia recently
dude people in australia are so fucking cool
they’re so fun to be around it’s such a friendly
culture what
if we decide to go to war with australia how nutty
would that be
all of a sudden we’re supposed to be
tricked into believing that we have a problem
with this continent that we’ve
never been it
probably happened in our lifetime
if it didn’t i
mean it’s because we’re
going to war together as a
group against some
other motherfuckers
i mean that’s really the only reason why we’re not
because we’ve decided to band up and go jack
these fools
and take their shit
but it’s it’s amazing that you know our system
there’s no other
system though i mean when you get
three hundred million people in
place what the fuck there’s no
other model
of how to run a
three hundred million person empire
and to do it correctly
where people
think it’s fair
because people are just
it’s part of life is an intelligence test
and part of the intelligence test is
how susceptible are you to manipulation
you know i mean
literally it’s
like a game it’s like there’s people like these
evangelists that you see
you know at
three o’clock in the morning
that are fucking
talking a certain cadence and
especially that
black guy with
the hot dog rolls in the back of his neck you know the
guy i’m talking about
that motherfucker is always
spouting out some
bible shit but he’s doing it so
charismatic and he’s
sweating like a pig and
everybody in the audience is
going bananas and
it’s an intelligence test the intelligence test is
do you believe this guy is so confident he’s
speaking so clearly
do you believe what he’s
saying because if you do you’re a dumbass he’s just
tricking you by being so confident in what he’s saying
right and that’s what it really is it’s like
this whole world is like a gigantic intelligence test
and even at the highest
level people are failing left and
right if you
start getting in these
the you know the republicans want to control the
house and what the fuck are you talking about
like look what you’re talking
about you’re talking
about nonsense if everybody
just step back and said this is all nonsense this
whole thing sucks
stop we’re not
gonna fucking keep going
with windows 95
shut the fuck up
okay windows 95 sucks
we need some new shit okay
do you have nt
do you have windows 2000
where’s vista
where’s windows 7 you
where’s mac os windows me
oh that was a dark dark time in american history
you know we need a better operating
system and the problem is we don’t we just keep
patching up the same
stupid fucking
system we’ve always had
so what do you do
you just sit back no you don’t move
cause you move they’re gonna be
under control of some
other motherfucker yeah but
how i look at it’s like if you have a neighbor’s dog
that’s barking
you can either sit there and deal with it for as long
but once it gets too bad you have to do something
about it and so that’s how i feel
about it if i
still wake up and
everything’s fine nothing’s really affecting me
on an everyday basis enough
to care about it then i’ll be fine
but if something fucking
crazy happens
like they decide to do something that’s
gonna affect me then
i’ll just be like you know what fuck you i’ll move on
cause i don’t give a fuck
like i’m not like united states
or for the rest of my
life i don’t care you know like i’m sure living on this
when you move
a bunch of times move around a
bunch of times in this country you realize the united
states doesn’t have one mentality
and then when
you move or when you
travel to other
places you’re like god i
could live here
right i can easily
live in it’s a huge planet yeah
dude england
is pretty dope i like living in it the weather kind of
sucks it rains a lot but dude people are fun as fuck i
enjoy it there
i love doing
shows in england england is fucking fun you know you
could live in england
you could live in australia
shit you know
you would have no problem in
sydney dude you’d
have to wear sunscreen that’s it they get no ozone
layered up there
everybody gets jacked there’s
skin cancer runs rampant
they have these big ads on billboards
about skin cancer
everywhere dude it’s a real problem
but do the people are friendly
the weather’s beautiful
you know the fucking the
coastline is gorgeous
it have no problem there you know
the idea that this one fucking place
you know that from one
ocean to another
ocean that’s like so five thousand years ago
right you know that we’re
fighting for our land like
jesus christ
especially in america to think that
when you’re a
citizen in america you are just like
riding in the balls of the dick that’s fucking the
world you’re just
a part of this gigantic machine it’s just bone in the
world you know
two planes come over here and
smash into buildings
and we lose our marbles
and we wind up killing a million
civilians in iraq and justifying
it that we’re keeping ourselves safe over here
it’s fucking nuts man
what’s the answer god damn it
what’s the answer
internet people
what’s the answer
twitter people there’s no goddamn answer there
there’s no goddamn fucking answer it
doesn’t exist
if you lose your marbles you can’t buy new ones
cause they don’t make them anymore yeah
the marble industry is way out of way to business man
yeah pretty soon i
think it’s almost
gonna be like how the internet
kind of like
in the old days i wasn’t talking to people from england
every day in australia
and that kind of
broke that wall
i think in the future there’s not gonna
like when its religion
kind of fizzes out fizzles out a little bit more
i think even just
countries are
gonna fizzle
out more cause we’re probably
gonna be just teleporting to japan
every day you know like
hey i’m gonna go to
japan i’ll be
right back the
boundaries are
definitely dissolving and the only
thing that keeps us in
this one idea is travel
you know that it’s difficult to give in
planes then when you land you have to be screaming
what’s the next plan
plan you know
what’s the next
jet plane it’s probably gonna be
something like that
sending our
brain waste to another body in japan
we have like a backup body and
if we get to a position
where we talked
about before like you know we talked
about like twitter
and facebook and this connectivity that people
share right now it’s like
we’re connected
so much more now than we’ve ever been before
if we really do get to a
place where
no secrets will exist
where everyone will know
everything you’ll be able to read each
other’s mind we’ll be able to access each
other’s information
maybe that’s the only way we’ll ever really have
a real government
when we’ll really realize that we really can’t bullshit
things we need
to have to come clean
about the fact that we live in a crazy
that’s dressed up as a democracy
where these gigantic corporations
are making millions of dollars and we just have to just
just accept the fact that we’re
under their rule the same way
they accepted the fact when they lived
in fucking england they were
under the rule of the king
and all these different
countries that are controlled
by monarchs
they have to accept that it’s
clean and then they know the fuck it is
like in thailand there’s a goddamn
king period that’s that’s what it is there’s king
and you got to deal with that shit you can’t talk shit
about them and
maybe it’s either that
or we realize we can’t do
that anymore we realize we can’t live like this anymore
maybe that’s the only
thing that’s
gonna save us
maybe this technology you know
maybe it’ll get the people who are actually running
things to realize how
ridiculous it is
when everybody knows
their bullshit
i don’t know man it’s a fucking it’s a
tricky situation you know
we are completely headed towards an
age where lies and deception will fade away yet we will
never understand all of everything
i think that’s what we’re just talking
about so that’s
it’s contradictory yeah
yeah it is but we’re just talking
about what’s here
right now and
what may or
may not be possible in the future i mean the idea that
we’re gonna get to an age
where everything is connected
that really is speculation
man i mean we don’t really know if we’re ever
gonna get that far we don’t know if we’re
gonna get hit by a gigantic
meter or fucking polarize
caps or shift or
when you look at the history of the
earth who the fuck knows what the hell’s
gonna happen to us you know
there’s always some new shit
going down you know
you know what the nuttiest
thing about
like i was watching
these solar
system documentaries today
the nuttiest
thing is how
many different planets have been hit by planets
you know like
there was a
thing on uranus
about how they recognized there’s rings around uranus
and they believed it was some sort of a collision
and they were talking
about moons colliding
and eventually
uranus moons
they’re real
close to each
other eventually
gonna slam into each
other like god
damn imagine
if we realize that
earth was getting hit by a planet
it was like a hundred years away
if we saw planets
yeah i mean how long
would it take for a planet to hit us
i mean like i
think they were saying that
uranus is a
year like a year in
uranus is like hundreds of years
i think was a hundred
sixty i don’t remember it was
was a bunch of years
there there winter
alone was like
sixty plus years
i think that’s what they’re saying
how many you know that’s a long ass time
how many years
would be able
to recognize like if a planet was headed our way
like if there was an inter
like an inter
solar system intruder i got like a planet
that’s in another
solar system
it seems like
it would be faster
it just seems like it
would just happen faster for some reason even though
it probably isn’t you know but why
would it seem like that if it takes a year for the
earth to go around the sun
right right doesn’t it
is that what the
whole deal i mean it’s like it’s
i guess it spins it’s like astronaut a
you know we goes around the sun in a year
right that’s pretty goddamn
close it takes us a year to go around
if some shit was coming in from another planet it
wouldn’t come that fast
would it unless
we’re moving towards it as it’s moving towards us
who the fuck knows the
point is that’s happened
that literally has happened to
earth there used to be earth one
which was just
a different planet and then it got hit by a planet
and that created the moon
fucking nuts man yeah
we that that
would end all the bullshit
all the tiger woods all the jesse
james all the fucking
healthcare and
t baggers and you know rush limbaugh and glenn beck
all that shit
would just stop if we saw
a giant planet in the sky that got a little bigger
every day holy fuck
could you imagine
it’d probably be pretty cool if it wasn’t
gonna hit in your lifetime you know
it’d probably be pretty
sweet like look at the
death moon coming
sucks to be you some people
would just die of
heart attacks
and then other people
would just go raping and pillaging
and murdering
there would be a
bunch of different
things would happen there
would be people that
would live like just
savages they would just
commit all sorts of incredible atrocities and
steal and do all kinds of other shit
and then there’d be people that
would just become
total hippies
just have orgies and
probably be more
straight love
yeah i’d probably imagine
really you think so people
would probably
be like nine eleven times a million just being sad and
probably be so many specials on tv
about it and
songs man religion
would pick up like a
oh my god they
would figure out some passage in the
bible that related to this and that
they figured out a way to
now to connect the two of them together god damn that
would be incredible
that would be
that’s so possible
that’s happened
it’s happened in
other solar
systems i’m sure it’s happened here
you know it
could happen in our lifetime
that would be fucking bonkers man
if we saw like it was 10 years away
like we have a real issue
would they even tell us
there would be
rumors on the internet
i don’t think they
would tell us i don’t
think anybody
would talk about it
so what are the questions we gotta open this bitch yes
i think my cat just took a shit in there so it might
smell i heard a lot of scratching
but you’re a cat man anyway
hey mayhem miller 12
when you say joe is
being a dick i’m telling you it’s distracting to me and
it keeps me from being able to do in this podcast well
i asked him to not do it
so you’re being a dick
i wasted my question religious bullshit
marbles are not dead wow the marble
world is still huge apparently
okay let’s go with the questions here
we’re the best substitute for the current monetary
system this dude wants to know who the fuck knows right
yeah you can’t i don’t
think you can have shit out there in the fucking
numbers in computers that can’t
it’s got to represent something
right that’s
the problem with
money is it
doesn’t really represent anything
you know it kind
of represents more ideas than anything it’s not like
one piece of gold
you know is one dollar
and you know and that
piece of gold is sitting in an account somewhere
and you can go
you know cash your 100 dollar bill in for 100
pieces of gold you know
the it has to mean something
you can’t have it just all numbers and computers
because people just can fuck you you know
like you’ve been
going through i don’t know how much you talk
about talk about this
but you’ve been
going through some bullshit with the irs
where they you know they audit you and
fuck with you and
going to your i mean
numbers and like
story numbers and how much numbers did
you put on this and how many numbers went to that and
politics to me
is it yeah my
brain does not care
about any of that
shit but that’s how i’ve always been with that
anything that i’m forced to do almost
i almost don’t care
about you know yeah
yeah well that’s sort of one of the reasons why
people sort of become artistic in the
first place
i think one
of the reasons why people are artistic is because
you know you’re
fighting against a
bunch of shit you don’t like
and you go against the
grain and you
wind up doing something that’s totally unconventional
you know that’s how people become
musicians and comedians and artists and stuff
you know on the side
street yeah
yeah that’s why it’s so
weird when like a comedian
enters into the
world of politics or something like that
yeah that’s strange
but that dude is like a serious historian
you know like that seems like it’s sort of like
a project for him like he really knows a lot of shit
what about our kids
i don’t know what
about our kids man what the fuck is gonna happen
what is gonna happen no one knows man
it’s a strange world we live in
it’s a strange world
that’s the weirdest thing when you have kids you
start wondering like how is this little person gonna be
survive how they gonna be happy and this
crazy world as it gets nuttier and nuttier
and more goddamn earthquakes know
earthquake and baja
mexico a couple days big one in indonesia today
i mean we have an earthquakes
everywhere dude it’s getting really weird
right yeah it’s like that
whoever opened up the treasure
chest from indiana jones raiders of the lost ark you
know seems like some fucked up happen
i know is it
weird how many people want to
think that it’s because of like us government
experiments that they’re creating
earthquakes like how nutty is that
how nutty is that idea that the
us government is like i know we need to do we need to
start causing
everywhere stupid
it’s hilarious
though i mean it’s hilarious how many people
want to believe nutty shit like that when it comes to
anything that’s
happening they always want to find someone some
human who’s pulling the strings and some
gigantic diabolical scheme
you know that a diabolical
scheme with an
earthquake machine that just
pointing at it all
these third
world countries and just fucking people up
like how hilarious is that
what what a nutty ass way to look at the world
you know i don’t
think that’s what’s happening
i think that the earth
is getting very pissed off at us
i think you know it’s
about time it’s shaking us off you know
not really consciously but i think
shit like this just happens
you know i mean look at what’s
going on on the moon there’s
craters all over
the moon and nobody ever did anything bad on the moon
you know the moon is just another little
planet shit happens volcanoes erupt all over the world
earthquakes happen
you know the topography
of lifeless planets constantly changes
you know it’s a
is it is it
that we’re having more
right now or is just that we have twitter
could be that too
could be that
i don’t really know to be honest with you
all i know is what i’m hearing
that i’m hearing
about them more than i ever
heard about them before but i’ve not
looked at it at all i’ve
done no research you know
it does seem like we’re hearing
about it way more than we ever heard
about it before yeah we also
more information pumped through our eyeballs
every day than we’ve ever had in our life
yeah 10 years ago i
would only have
found out on my
laserdisc player
yeah well you know you would have
found out ten years ago if it was really big you
would be a newspaper people be paid blowing up my pager
yeah i found a page of the
other day that i used to have that my dog had
bitten into
it’s all fucked up and jacked it’s hilarious
yeah i don’t know man
you know i got no answers to that i don’t know if it’s
it’s happening
more or there’s more information but there’s
definitely more information that’s for sure that’s 100
whether or not the
earthquakes are happening more
just seems like they’re on man
everybody’s scared
i’m about to lose a shitload of viewers lost starts
well you know what we’re
about it two hours anyway and that’s why
the way we like to end it so we’ll have one more
topic try to end it well
and then we’ll close it off
is it weird that you’re so into conspiracies
but hate movies that have a
twist ending
i don’t hate
movies that have a twist ending
i love fucking
movies with a good
twisty ending that i didn’t see coming
what i don’t like is when
movies fake me out and they say oh it’s just a dream
that drives me bonkers
and i’m not really into
conspiracies i’m into the real conspiracy there’s real
things that people have conspired like enron and
you know i mean
the problem with the
whole term conspiracy theory is
you bring it up like someone
talks about conspiracy theories
and they bring it up
you any rational person any
thinking person
does not want to be associated with conspiracy theories
because conspiracy theories make you seem like a loon
conspiracy theories the way it’s been labeled
make make it seem
like you’re a
silly frivolous person that you believe in
ridiculous shit you know
yeah well i
think if you
just tag it with the conspiracy theory name but i think
you know if you
don’t believe
the conspiracies but you
think that’s
an interesting approach to an idea or something like
people that just
think 9 11 was done by
our own government
and they don’t
think anything else and
stuff like that
that’s a sick way to
think of anything you
should never
put all your eggs in one
basket type that putting all your eggs in one
basket is a real problem we’ve talked
about that before with our friends with certain
subjects people love
for there to be mysteries
that they can unsolve
they love for there to be some hidden information
that they can unsolve whether it’s
about 9 11 or
about anything
but the reality is you know
unless you like really really really research shit
most people are just talking out of
their ass when it comes to subjects and when you do
start researching shit
you realize well
you can’t just
blanketly discount
or discredit
all conspiracy theories just because it seems like a
ridiculous thing because a lot of them are fucking real
the gulf of
tonkin the fucking operation
northwoods there’s
a lot of different shit that the government has done
and different companies have done
cigarette companies have conspired to
you know to hide the facts
about tobacco and
to make sure that
people keep smoking them and people are addicted
this motherfucker’s hook line
sinker with the cigarettes
you’re locked in
how many smoke today
three does that
drive you bonkers
no because it’s
relaxing when i
smoke a cigarette
but you don’t
worry about yourself
every time i smoked a
cigarette and my lips caught on fire then i
would hate it
well what about like our friend that just died you know
stuff like that
thinking about your body just giving out on you that
doesn’t drive you nuts
well i think it does to a
point definitely but i also
think like shit i
might fucking have
skin cancer
right now i don’t even know
about it you know it’s just
you either think
about death
all the time or you don’t so
the red ban approach is just to live life casual
and careful just live
life be a happy person and that everybody else
fight your wars and do battle just
let everyone else stress that fuck
out let everyone stress the
do you ever
worry about your
think rather
about not worry but do you ever consider
your position in this world
or do you just try to just live
i don’t think
about anything like that at all
so don’t think
about life i think
about my happiness and that’s pretty much what i think
about making sure that i’m
happy and people are
happy around me
i just want to be a
happy person
and i want my friends to be
happy but i do
it do i care
about anything else
about like fucking
cancer or anything i got try not to so when the
stormtroopers come you just
gonna pack a bag and run to the hills fuck yeah
i don’t give a fuck
about borders like your own joke
it’s interesting
because people can you
know you can criticize that you can say that’s apathy
you know like this
discussion that we had on the
board but i don’t
think they’re
right i don’t
think they’re
right i think at a certain
point in time
it is a foolish notion to try to control a corrupt
system it’s a foolish notion it really is i
could see both sides of it
i could see people saying
if everybody thought that way there’d be no government
deal this is bullshit you know you have to fucking
stand up i could see that argument
but i could also see yours man
i see your argument
i think you’re
right you know
a lot of people are
already has that same argument are you
says why do i care
it’s not gonna affect me why do i care
and in a certain way
it really doesn’t
but in a certain way it does like social
things like you know
obama not going
after the medical
marijuana that makes a big difference to me
you know that’s big
to me like real
state issues
like legalizing medical marijuana in the
state of california that’s something
worth fucking voting for that was a huge thing
that’s real
that’s a real
issue that got resolved and it
changed a lot of people’s lives
and it changed the
whole climate of california
people are way more relaxed
people are way
chiller you know the access to weed
is through the roof there’s
never been more access to weed in this country ever
than right now
that’s a real
issue that was resolved by voting
so it’s almost like
state voting voting on
state issues like that we can actually pick the issue
like that’s real shit
that’s real
local politics seem to be real
you know this is the reason why
california so in debt
um we got an actor to be the fucking governor
you know we went with a dude
that seemed like you know it was a no nonsense echo
and we took this fucking dude
we was an action film star
and we made him the governor and shit just hit the fan
hit the fan running
you know it’s fascinating
you know because
politics on a
local level seem to be real
but politics on a national
levels yeah yes it’s not
doesn’t seem very fucking real
the end that’s the end of this podcast
ladies and gentlemen
brian’s good for two
hours that’s good yeah
he starts fading
he needs his coffee
and a binky so
thank you very much for tuning in ladies and gentlemen
and don’t you worry about me and
brian in our argument i love this little fucker
and he loves me too
we’re just just trying to make sure that the
the podcast goes well that’s
all it is there’s no hate we’ve been friends for ages
uh thank you for
everything um
we will see you guys next week i
gotta go to abu dhabi this week for the
ufc that shit’s
gonna be crazy
i never been to the united arab emirates before but
should be fascinating
off some pictures and for sure i have some stories
definitely and i’ll see you bitches next week
so thank you very much for tuning in
follow us on twitter
brian only has
a few thousand twitter followers and he’s very very
upset about that
he’s a redband
reb bam and
he’s very upset
about your twitter followers so
upset how many you have right now
actually i just
got like a hundred recent i don’t know if it’s because
of the dvd or what but oh yeah is it on the dvd as well
well my websites on the dvd or my name
right there you go bitches
maybe it is because of that
so right now
brian is let’s see
it’s like fifteen hundred i
think i just went
today i’m so
close to a hundred and
three thousand oh
so close i’m like
sixty five away
it’s hard to get a new twitter followers
man you know
it’s like i don’t know exactly what you
gotta mention it
everywhere and you gotta
tweet a lot of interesting shit
but once you do man it’s so important
like for promoting gigs
and for letting
people know like shit you’re doing like hey i’m
gonna be in this town
like this the best way for people to find out what
you’re doing you know there’s no better way to promote
things you know and who knows what the next
stage of that is easily consumable
easily consumable
ladies and gentlemen
this is easily consumable
hope you enjoy this
this is the end of this week’s you
stream podcast and we will see you bitches next week
thank you love you bye