♪ The Simpsons ♪
-(chalk screeches)
-(bell rings)
(work whistle blows)
-(register beeping)
(jazzy solo)
(tires screech)
-(tires screech)
-(horn honking)
(tires screech)
-(tires screech)
Now class, I don’t want
this field trip to be
a repeat of our infamous visit
to the Springfield State Prison.
So, I want you all
to be on your best behavior,
especially you,
Bart Simpson.
Mrs. Krabappel,
I didn’t unlock that door.
-(tires screech)
-Uh, sorry, little dudes.
Party hardy was tardy.
-All right, children. Count off.
-One, two, three.
-Hey, Otto. Hey, Ottoman.
-Hey, Bart dude.
Any new tattoos, Otto?
Oh, funny
you should ask, man.
This morning I woke up
with this one.
Cool. I want one.
Huh. Not till you’re 14,
my little friend.
Bart! Bart Simpson!
Take your seat, Bart.
Oh, please, Mrs. Krabappel,
not next to Wendell.
He pukes on every bus ride.
No offense, Wendell.
Be that as it may,
it’s the only seat left,
-so get in there!
Please try not to shake
the seat like that.
Now, class, remember.
Do not stick any part
of your body out the window.
We all know the tragic story
of the young man
who stuck
his arm out the window
and had it ripped off by a big truck
coming in the other direction.
-And I was that boy.
Uh, Bart Simpson, sit down!
I’ve had just about enough
of your tomfoolery.
Oh, I don’t feel so hot.
Look, there’s our school again.
-Otto, are you sure you–
-It’s a shortcut, Mrs. K. Trust me.
Mrs. Krabappel!
Mrs. Krabappel!
Bart, not another word out of you,
or I’ll subject you
to the humiliation
of making you sing
in front of the class.
-Can I pick the song?
The song will be “John Henry
Was a Steel Drivin’ Man.”
Oh, no.
We’re gonna make you sing,
Bart Simpson.
Yeah, Bart Simpson,
we’re gonna make you sing.
That’s it, Bart.
Oh, why can’t you be
more like, uh, uh–
Us, Mrs. Krabappel?
Yes, Sherri and Terri.
They know how to behave.
Da, da, da, da, da, da. Whoa!
♪ They took Bart Simpson
to the graveyard ♪
♪ And they buried him
in the sand ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, and every locomotive
that comes rollin’ by ♪
Bart. Bart!
♪ Says there lies
a steel-drivin’ man ♪
Okay, Bart. Enough!
Hey, Wendell,
you made it, buddy.
children groaning)
And so, this plant harnesses
the power of the atom
so that we have the energy
to run everything from
your favorite video game
to yummy
cotton candy machines.
Let’s learn more about
nuclear energy, shall we?
NARRATOR: When most people
think of nuclear energy,
they think of this.
(children yelling)
But when we talk about
nuclear energy,
we really mean this.
But what exactly
is nuclear energy?
I don’t know,
but I know someone who does.
-Smilin’ Joe Fission.
-Hi, there, energy eaters.
I’m Smilin’ Joe Fission,
your atomic tour guide…
to the strange and exciting world
of nuclear power.
And these are rods
of uranium 235. Hi, Rod.
Hi. Hey. Good to see ya.
Hey, you guys look hot.
-Of course we’re hot.
-We’re radioactive.
Uh-oh. Well, how ‘bout
a dip in the pool?
Last one in’s the rotten rod!
The rods make the water
so hot it boils.
Ow! Ouch! Ow!
And the steam spins turbines
that generate energy.
Bart, sit down.
Uh-oh. Whoops.
Looks like there’s a little leftover
nuclear waste. No problem.
I’ll just put it where nobody’ll find it
for a million years.
(sinister laugh)
So, now you know the whole true story
of nuclear energy,
our no longer
misunderstood friend.
So, keep on smilin’.
(cheering, applauding)
Now, let’s have even more fun.
And, uh, over here is
our thermal regulator.
To your right, if you look
through this window,
you’ll see where our water rejoins
the rest of nature’s biosphere.
Hey, Bart, our dad says
your dad is incompetent.
What does incompetent mean?
It means he spends more time
yakking and scarfing down
doughnuts than doing his job.
Oh, okay. I thought
you were putting him down.
You know, I defy anyone
to tell the difference
between these doughnuts
and ones baked today.
My boy’s supposed to be here
any second on a field trip.
They been through here yet?
Come on, Simpson.
If they wanted the kids
to see you sitting around
on your butt and stuffin’ your face,
they’d take them
on a tour of your house.
You’re right.
I gotta get where the action is.
Comin’ through!
Hey, there’s my dad.
Hey, Dad! Yo, Homer!
Woo! Woo! I’m up here!
Oh, hi, boy!
(siren blaring)
All right.
Who’s responsible for this?
I might have known it
was you, Simpson.
But, sir, I–
I don’t want to hear
about it, Simpson. You’re fired!
-Oh, hi, girls.
-Hi, Daddy.
Here’s a good job
at the fireworks factory.
Those perfectionists?
Forget it.
How ‘bout this?
Supervising technician
at the toxic waste dump.
I’m no supervising technician. I’m a
technical supervisor.
I’ve never done anything
worthwhile in my life.
I’m a big, worthless nothing.
There, there, Homer.
You’ll find a job.
You’ve caused plenty
of industrial accidents,
and you’ve always bounced back.
-Yeah, Dad, you can do it!
-Yeah, go for it, Dad.
You’re right! I’m young,
I’m able-bodied,
and I’ll take anything!
Watch out, Springfield.
Here I come.
Don’t give up, Dad.
I’m just a technical supervisor
who cared too much.
-Moe’s Tavern.
-BART: Is Mr. Freely there?
-Freely. First initials “I.P.”
Hold on.
I’ll check.
Uh, is I.P. Freely here?
Hey, everybody!
I.P. Freely!
Wait a minute.
Listen to me, ya lousy bum.
-(Bart laughing)
-When I get a hold of you, you’re dead.
I swear I’m gonna
slice your heart in half.
You’ll get that
punk someday, Moe.
Ah, I don’t know.
He’s tough to catch.
He keeps changing his name.
Oh, I think I’ll have
another– Oops.
Oh, I’m a little low
on funds.
Do you think you can
cover me just this once?
No, sorry.
W-Why not?
I think after all these years
I deserve an explanation.
I don’t think you’re
ever gonna get another job
and be able to pay me back.
-Don’t worry.
We’re still friends.
♪ I fall to pieces ♪♪
-All you all right, Homer?
-I’m fine. I’m just thinking.
I’ve been thinking too.
You know, Homer, you’ve always
been such a good provider,
but when we got married,
Mr. Berger promised I could
come back to my old job
anytime I wanted.
You think you can
still do that kind of work?
Sure. You never forget.
It’s just like riding a bicycle.
(horn honks)
Hey, Mama,
where’s my fries already?
-(horn honking)
Dad, eat something.
It’s got mustard on it.
All he does is lie there
like an unemployed whale.
I don’t know
what else to do.
There’s only
one thing we can do:
take advantage of the old guy.
You gotta sign
my report card, Dad.
(yelling on TV)
the cable network
for the unemployed.
We’ll be back with more tips
on how to win the lottery
right after this.
Unemployed? Out of work? Sober?
You sat around the house
all day, but now it’s Duff time.
Duff, the beer that makes
the days fly by.
♪ Can’t get enough
of that wonderful Duff ♪
-♪ Duff beer ♪
Now there’s
a temporary solution.
There must be
some beer here somewhere.
Ah. Maybe in here.
Damn! I need money!
Oh, no.
What have I done?
I smashed open my little
boy’s piggy bank, and for what?
A few measly cents.
Not even enough
to buy one beer.
Wait a minute.
Let me count and make sure.
Not even close.
Dear family.
I am an utter failure,
and you’ll be better off without me.
By the time you read this,
I will be in my watery grave.
I can only leave you with the words
my father gave me:
“Stand tall, have courage
and never give up.”
I only hope I can provide
a better model…
in death than I did in life.
Warmest regards.
Love, Homer J. Simpson.
(grunting continues)
(grunting continues)
Nothing’s easy.
Oh, looks like young Simpson
is going to kill himself.
Well, maybe not.
Maybe he’s just taking
his boulder for a walk.
-Mom! Mom! Wake up!
-We’ve been robbed!
-Someone swiped my piggy bank!
Your father’s gone too!
-Look what I found.
(grunting continues)
Almost there.
(horn honking)
Hey, you idiot!
Watch where you’re going!
Well, live and learn.
There he is!
Don’t do it, Dad!
Boy, this intersection
is dangerous.
Someone ought to put
a stop sign here.
Oh, Homer.
How could you think
of killing yourself?
We love you.
-Yeah, Dad. We love you.
Kill myself?
Killing myself is
the last thing I’d ever do.
Now I have a purpose,
a reason to live.
I don’t care
who I have to face.
I don’t care
who I have to fight.
I will not rest until
this street gets a stop sign!
Next on the agenda.
Police Chief Wiggum
will give us an update
on our graffiti problem.
Well, it’s no secret
our city is under siege
by a graffiti vandal
known as “El Barto.”
Police artists have
a composite sketch of the culprit.
If anyone has any information,
please contact us immediately.
Cool, man.
Tough customer.
Ooh, wouldn’t want to run
into him in a dark alley.
And now, new business.
Homer Simpson, local resident,
has something. Mr. Simpson?
Don’t be nervous.
We believe in you, Homer.
(clears throat)
Ladies and gentlemen,
esteemed councilmen,
boys and girls, retired people
with nothing better to do.
Danger comes in many,
many forms,
from dinosaurs that tormented
our caveman ancestors to the–
Simpson, get to the point.
I think we should put a stop sign at
“D” Street and 12th.
-The other–
-All in favor?
-Approved. Meeting adjourned.
Coffee and maple logs
in the lobby.
Wow. They listened to me.
-All right, Dad!
-Way to go, Homer.
You did it, Homer.
If they think I’m gonna
stop at that stop sign,
they’re sadly mistaken.
(camera shutter flashes)
Oh, Homer,
I am so proud of you.
Proud? Proud of what?
Well, everything.
Your dip sign, for instance.
Now people won’t be
caught off guard
by that little “mm-mmm”
in the road.
Ah, what a great family,
but come on.
We all know
this is small potatoes.
There’s a danger in this town
that is bigger than
all the dips put together.
-What, Dad?
-I’m talking about that.
You don’t mean you’re going
to take on your old bosses.
-Gee, Dad’s a hero.
-What’d ya say, son?
That’s okay.
I’ll just assume you said
what I thought I heard you say.
(cheering, yelling)
He also brought you
the speed bump–
-The dip sign,
the 15 miles per hour speed limit
on Main Street.
I give you the man whose very name
is synonymous with safety.
-Homer Simpson!
-Homer! Homer!
-Thank you.
Unlike most of you,
I am not a nut.
Just a good, honest American
who opposes wrongdoing…
and especially carelessness
wherever they occur.
Look at that man.
He has the crowd
in the palm of his hand.
Ah, haven’t seen anything
like it since Jolson.
Who is he?
That’s Homer Simpson, sir.
He used to work here
in the plant,
but we fired him
for gross incompetence.
Oh, so that’s
his little game.
Get this Simpson
character up here right now.
But Mr. Burns–
I said do it! Now do it!
Do it! Do it!
Our lives are at the hands
of men no smarter than you or I,
many of them,
incompetent boobs.
I know this because
I worked alongside them,
gone bowling with them,
watched them pass me over
for promotions time and again.
-And I say, this stinks!
Hey. Hey, Simpson,
Burns wants to talk to you privately.
Stay here.
I’ll be right back.
Ah, Homer Simpson,
at last we meet. Same here.
Simpson, I want you to rejoin
our power plant family.
-Sorry. No can do.
-Hear me out, Simpson!
I don’t want you to come back
as a technical supervisor
or supervising technician
or whatever the hell
you used to do.
I want you to be in charge
of safety here at the plant.
-But, sir, if truth be known,
I actually caused
more accidents around here
than any other employee.
There were even a few doozies
no one ever found out about.
The generous offer I’m making
is good for exactly…
30 seconds, Simpson.
Me, in charge of safety?
This place could blow sky high.
Nah. I’ll concentrate
on my work now.
Gee, this guy’s desk
sure is big.
I can’t let Marge support
the family.
This guy’s got the cleanest
shirt I’ve ever seen.
What should I–
Simpson, time’s up.
Mmm, what the hey.
I’ll take the job.
Your first duty will be
to step out on the balcony
and tell that crowd
this plant is safe.
-Go on, Homer.
Homer! Homer!
Homer! Homer! Homer!
-(cheering, applauding)
-MARGE: Yeah, Homer!
Go, Dad!
Ladies and gentlemen,
this plant is–
Oh, sit tight.
I’ll be right back.
I can’t do it, Mr. Burns.
You mean, you’re willing to give up
a good job and a raise
just for your principles?
Mmm. When you put it that way,
it does sound a little farfetched,
but that’s the lug
you’re lookin’ at!
And I vow to continue spending
every free minute I have…
crusading for safety!
Of course, I’d have a lot less
of those free minutes
if you gave me the job.
Mmm. You’re not as stupid
as you look or sound…
or our best testing indicates.
You’ve got the job.
Now get to work!
I’ll get to work,
but first I have to say
good-bye to some friends.
(door sliding open)
you have come to depend on me
as your safety watchdog
so you won’t scrape yourself
or stub your toes
or blow yourselves up.
But you can’t depend on me
all your life.
You have to learn that there’s
a little Homer Simpson in all of us,
and I’m going to have to live
without your respect and awe.
The only reason
I’m telling you this is…
I’m going to be leaving you.
-But don’t worry.
I have just been appointed
the new safety inspector
at this very plant…
with a big, fat raise!
Hey, that’s my pop up there!
Dad, watch out!
Whoa, easy!
Don’t drop me.
-Be careful.
-Homer! Homer! Homer!