and action ladies and gentlemen in response to your
complaints about the horrible
audio quality we figured it all out
folks we have
first of all we have these mics you have to hold we’re
gonna hold them this week next week we’re
gonna have these little clip on things
but we have a mixer now
and we’re listening to headphones and
we understand
your complaints
see the problem was these things
these microphones were in
stands and they
were over here and it makes a huge fucking difference
how it sounds here
and here it’s not me buddy
it’s you fella
we are someone always has the laptop on the volume on
but we’re live and someone always has the laptop on
what is that
it’s not me fella it’s you oh it’s my
we had two computers that were on hold on one second
so how’s it sounding guys that are in there
it should be nice and loud i would imagine
much much better okay
we’re back sorry
sorry for everything being retarded
i’m drinking coffee that came out of an animal’s ass
oh that’s one of
those ones where they filter it through like that yeah
something it’s called
kopi luwak that’s the name of the coffee
and um is an animal called a palm civic
and this animal
eats these coffee beans
eats the the bean
itself you know like it looks like a little fruit
shits it out
and then they take them
and clean them i guess hopefully clean them
and they make coffee out of it
and it’s smoother coffee it’s like a
like a different
it’s just sort of a different
flavor to it because it went through this animal’s
digestive tract
now now if the animal
ate a lot of berries and
stuff does it have like hints of
other different
things in it you know
it doesn’t it just
tastes like coffee i mean
it’s really kind of
gross when you think
about it but
i was curious i had it once before
remember tate and i
were in florida
and they had it at a restaurant and i’d
heard about it so we
tried it out
apparently it’s
the whatever the stomach acids or whatever it is
inside the civic’s body
changes the actual chemical
structure of the coffee
and it just makes it much smoother
and it’s okay
you know i mean it’s not really
is the price
a lot more expensive fuck yeah it’s
super expensive
it’s way more expensive than regular coffee
way more cause i remember the restaurant was like 90
a cup something
stupid like that yeah mmm
animal butt how’s it
sounding for everyone what’s the people saying i
think it sounded good i think
we’re golden with this thing
this shit is
so much louder cool
seems louder yeah it’s way way way better
so um anyway
sponsored by flashlight by the way i haven’t oh yeah
talk that it’s sponsored
were sponsored by a rubber vagina
yeah do you ever fuck the asshole one no no no i don’t
think that’s necessary well it’s just tighter it
might feel good it doesn’t have to be you know
well actually it’s tight enough yeah
i think it’s good
i don’t think you need the butthole one
unless you’re just a freak
and your wife won’t let you have the butthole
you can have a rubber butthole
you know she should be happy
you get your butthole fantasies out of the way
did you know about the bottom
that it unscrews and it’s like a suction
cause like i didn’t know the first time i fucked it
it was like this really
suction like
crazy blowjob
and it was like
too much too intense
couldn’t take it because
brian’s got a giant hog
it’s hitting the back
brian’s got a fucking oatmeal
quaker oats box
that’s his dick and
and so i unscrewed it and i
guess that adds like air to it and makes it
a lot better
so you get to fuck a slut
yeah so it’s either a tight girl
or a slut or a big giant slut
right and by the way it was awesome i fucking love it
what’s crazy though is is that at
first i started out putting a bunch of
juice in it
and then it was
juice or whatever that oil is
okay lube the lube
i’m like what are you fucking oranges and shit what
are you doing
i wasn’t that impressed i was just like
this is just too much you know this is like fucking but
then you took the lube
down took it
down a notch and now it’s fucking fantastic perfect
so you have a formula
to use how many
squirts of lube
just a teeny bit around the lips of it
really yeah
that’s it just it’s all you need yeah it’s that their
water get the party
started right
give a spit on it if you’re feeling dirty
fucking whore and they
stick it right back on there
no but you know i
tried warming it up in the microwave
oh you’re not supposed to do that are
you no no the
juice there oh liquid
stuff i put in a cup was like you
gonna melt it and
stick your dick in there it’s
gonna fucking
fuse to your dick that hot molten
plastic you be screaming
third degree burns all over your dick
could you imagine
somebody must have
somebody must have
nuked something
got it too hot fucked it and ruined their dick
that’s happened totally totally if you thought
about it it’s happened you know
it’s like i was
saying i put this
picture up on my twitter the other day
somebody sent me this twitter
hey joe have you ever seen a triangle like this before
so i click on it you know
thinking that
it’s probably a guy caught somebody in a triangle
well it sorta
what it is is this
site called ghettogaggers com you know that site no
it’s a site
that is dedicated to it’s all
white guys like nerdy white guys
and they’re making these
black ghetto
chicks gag from fucking
their mouths
what and so i
tuned into this picture i
clicked this link this guy sends me
and it’s this
white nerdy dude with
these pale skinny
white legs with
black socks and
black sneakers on
and he’s got a no arm triangle like this
around this
chick’s head
this chick’s head is like right here
and she’s shoving his dick in her mouth
with his triangle
and she’s like literally
throwing up
all over his balls and his asshole and i’m like
it said so much to me though that what
kind of a strange
world do we live in
where it’s so normal
to just click a link
and it takes you to a guy
stuffing his dick into some
chicks mouth and she’s
throwing up all over his balls and asshole
and all i do is giggle
all i do is go haha you got me a fuck
you know what i’m saying
i mean if this was just ten or
twenty years ago
that picture
would fucking
freak you out
there was no
pictures like that
when i was in high school
the most you got is like hustler
where they spread
their pussy lips
apart you’re like wow this
bitch is crazy
dirty like they
weren’t even allowed to show penetration
they would show like a guy
they would have like a sex
scene and the guy
would be like
grabbing his dick to try to keep it hard
and looking at her and it
would look totally fake and posed and
it didn’t look like real sex at all
they you know it was hard to find
pictures of of fucked up
things but now
click what’s the link what’s the website
ghetto gaggers
ghetto together
if you just
go to twitter dot com
slash joe rogan
and look at
my past tweets
you’ll find
it a few days ago i forgot how many days ago it was
but this motherfucker got me with this
picture it’s just so
crazy that that
it’s so easy to find images like that
there’s so many out there
kids today dude
they’re growing up in a totally different fucking
world a world
where you can
click a link i mean
how many kids subscribe to my twitter how many kids
click that link
and went to that guy
stuffing his dick in that ghetto girl’s
mouth and she’s
throwing up all
of it’s not fair and i wonder if it’s
like because
i mean i got off with like sears catalog looking at
underwear ads and
stuff like that
and now you can just see the inside of a girl’s asshole
you know in
time yeah i used to be able to beat off to like
like a like a workout
like vhs cover
you know like
girl bent over you know trying to look sexy and
right you used
to be able to beat off something like that like you go
dirty bitch
but now it’s like
these dudes are desensitized man
these kids are
gonna grow up and not
gonna be able to get off
unless like somebody like
goatsies them and like shits in
their face and
stuff like that you know what i mean because they’re
starting off some people do get to like really
crazy points
where the only
thing that gets them off is like really fucked up shit
there’s porn
that caters just to
those dudes
i told you about the time that
tate and i went to see a porno being taped
we walked in
we walked in this is dude
salami that we
stood jiu jitsu with
great guy and he was
he was directing porn
and i told us come on do the shot come by
check it out it’s all
right we’re on our way back from a gig
land at the
airport we go before we even go home let’s go
check out this fucking dudes
go to this watch this dude’s porn
we walk in and there’s this
one guy fucking this girl in the asshole and the
other guys fucking this girl in the
mouth and they’re spitting in her
mouth everyone spit in her
mouth both guys
and the director
and he was a
grabber by the hair took
spit in her
mouth and this guy spit in her
mouth i mean it was like
it was fucking
it was rough man
the guy the guys fucking her in the asshole
and then he
stuffs it in her pussy
and he goes yeah i went from the asshole to your
pussy that’s real fucking healthy
i’m like whoa
i remember what
kind of porn is this
man i remember
watching porn and then
first seeing like how
people spitting
on the girl’s crotch before fucking in it so i
tried it with
my ex girlfriend back in the day she
said did you just
spit on my cat it looks
funny i was so
drunk i think i goobed on her crotch
i didn’t just spit
i was like i was like
and then i’m like oh i’m
sorry and it’s
yeah there’s something dudes
like that when girls spit on dicks you know like i love
those pornos with girls
spit on a guy’s dick mike
that’s just showing me there’s like
anger there or something that’s like craziness that’s
you don’t need to spit on
it you know you want to lick it you want to get it all
sloppy wet that’s all good that’s all good
you don’t need to get crazy the
worst is when they spit in a girl’s butt and it’s like
it disappears
they see little bubbles and
shit like come on
people will never
find the end there’s no end
you know it’s just advancing and escalating
and it’s the more exposure to this shit that we
have the more it desensitizes people like regular sex
girls are taking it in the ass left and
right now there’s like reports
about it like
all these doctors
are having problems girls having like butt vd
yeah they’re shitting themselves by the
age of 30 you know like
it’s fucked up
it’s fucked up get yourself a rubber butthole from
a flashlight if you
got that butthole
thing inside you
so i tried to warm up the
juice so then
i had to do the microwave
thing i went into the bedroom
put it and i didn’t have a boner anymore
cause i was like doing like
kitchen shit
then i had to like
get myself hard
again by looking at some porn
and then i went over and the
juice was not warm anymore and it was just like
so i’ve reached the
point in my life
where if my dick is not hard i’m not
gonna even try to get it hard to jerk off
i do not set aside time to jerk off i don’t like
sit down and my dick’s not hard i go i
should jerk off and
start rubbing myself
no i gotta be
horny to do it now you’ve
never done that
i have in the past for sure dude
i’ve had days
where i jerked off like four and five times in a day
which is just
you don’t even know why you’re doing it it’s like this
doesn’t even
feel good anymore like why do i keep doing this
you’re doing it just because you’re
obsessed you know just because you got a wacky bug
you know and you just want to keep jerking off
you know it
relaxes me i feel like
you know it’s like when you say like when you talk
about how you
take a big shit and then you’re like i can’t believe
i had this shit me that’s how i feel like the sperm is
controlling me
no for sure but not when you do it five times
for one shot yeah one shot
a day even two shots a day make if you’re feeling crazy
you know you you just got a
text message from your ex
wife and she’s having a hard time with her husband and
you think i
should fuck this
dirty bitch you know i hate her and took all my
money and just beat one off real
quick you know you
might get a
second one out of it it’s
exciting right but
other than that
one is one a day is all you need when you
start jerking
off five times a day you’re just a fucking weirdo you
know what do you do i used to get blisters on my dick
from jerking off
and i really
would just hold it another way i
would figure
out another way
no i did man i did
on two separate occasions in my life
i jerked off so much that i developed like a little
sore spot on my
dick so stupid
there’s no way you could be
enjoying that
like why you jerking off that much yeah
cause you’re fucking
crazy i mean that’s what it is it’s like
you just get it in your head that you have to
jerk off when i used to fuck pillows what was so bad is
because i never used my hand i
would fuck pillows
the worst is
watching my mom like
you drool so much when you sleep
and i’m like what are
you talking
about she’s like go in the laundry
room and she’s like taking off pillow sheets that were
sticking it
to it and you just look at my pillow
and it look like you know fucking
raindrops has for
sure touched your load oh totally how does that feel
i don’t know i just can’t believe how this how
weird is that your mom has touched your semen yeah
well she made it
that’s true it all
came from her
right she cooked it up inside of her
if it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t be
alive you wouldn’t have any sperm totally
and jesus i just got a 3d tv one of those new
yeah you were telling me
about this and you
watch porn on this yeah i watched how does this
work so explain to me this is what company makes this
this is a samsung tv
cause i saw sony but
the sony said it’s not even out yet the sony’s not out
until summer it was
very impressive though
right yeah that samsung what it does is
i got a 3d tv and a 3d
blu ray player
and it converts
first you could
watch anything
on tv any show any tv and it will convert
it into 3d if you want to how the fuck does it do that
you know it has like a
smart technology
where it detects what a
background is and what the main character is
and it tries to layer it
and it does a really
good job actually i was so impressed i thought it was
gonna be like bullshit
but it was like i
watched bill and
ted’s excellent adventure and it looked
like it was made for 3d that’s insane
yeah it’s pretty crazy
you wear goggles
yeah you wear
these little
glasses and what
are they gonna fix that well supposedly that they
were already invented the
technology to do it and what it does it’s like this
great that goes over your tv
and it detects
where you’re sitting in the room
and it kind of like
splits the images up for you like from left eye to
right eye and it makes it 3d but it’s too expensive
right now they said that in the next five to
eight years you’ll
start seeing
it coming out and then it will be integrated into
television right
a part of it
right and what’s weird
about it is
is that you
using the 3d you immediately get it
like i get it like
you’re going to have a tv that’s
gonna be three
dimensional soon
where it’s gonna look like you’re a window but you’re
gonna be able to
kinda you know
it’s crazy when you
start really getting it
now just tvs themselves are insane we’re
just so used to it
the just the idea of capturing image
capturing any image
and i mean you’re literally
taking a snapshot of what’s in
front of you and somehow or another you can send that
yeah you can put it in a
and you don’t even have to connect it to anything
it goes from your
phone and it can go to the
whole world you put it on flickr
and someone in
nicaragua can look at it
not to mention that tvs are like this
skinny by the way yeah
and so pretty soon you’re just
gonna have a
look at an ipad 3d
how nuts is that those
things are fucking crystal clear yeah
those didn’t
really awesome image
it’s this little
skinny ass thing like a
piece of paper yeah you know it’s like a couple
pieces of cardboard
stacked together right
fucking nuts man tvs today
you know you go and look at
these tvs and just
think about
how long ago it was that you know you had like this
stupid looking like
rounded circles
rounded edges on the corner and it was big
as fuck and you had everybody had to help you move it
did you have
those when you were
did you remember what my
grandmother used to have like
where it used to be a record player on the top
and then the
speakers on the side
cabinet yeah
and it would
open it tv oh
yeah and it was
black and white and it
was tiny it was like
fucking smaller than your laptop
right it was like a
piece of furniture
you know it was a coffee
table that was
super long yeah and
that was just a lifetime ago
i mean that’s what my
parents grew up with my parents grew up with that shit
that shit’s bananas it is
it’s pretty fucking insane
where technology is headed
but it’s just as insane just thinking
about where it’s gone
if you ever wanted evidence of evolution
its evolution seems to be a pattern that
everything follows
you know people wanna get
angry whether or not evolution
exists and whether or not
evolution is real and
very few people even
truly understand the argument it’s
a very very
very complex argument but the argument really isn’t
is there a god
the argument is
everything seems to evolve
every single
thing seems to change
and human beings are
the clearest example that just
based on our culture
if you look at just the shit that we have now
in comparison to the
things we had a few years ago
and the movies if you like
watch movies
and listen to songs from like the 40s and the 50s
and then you listen to some
new shit even if you don’t like most new shit or you
think it’s stupid or you think it’s
i’m with you on all that but
just the technical
level that they’re able to
the kind of
music they’re able to make now
it’s very very different
it’s incredibly
powerful you
might not be into pink
listen to a goddamn pink song
and then try to go like
back in time
and listen to some jefferson airplane
and shit and see the like the how they recorded it
even if you love that song it’s like the
they did a terrible job of like putting it all together
you know like
the evolution of
music the evolution of
television shows
like try watching father knows best
try watching any of
those fucking
stupid movies from the 50s
those goddamn
things are terrible
they’re terrible
it’s like everybody
falls in love immediately the bad guy
super obvious
everything happens it’s so corny and phony and now
it’s very clear that
things are moving in a certain direction
but everything is not
everything though like when you go to a gas station and
you prepay for like 20
bucks in that last
dollar slows down slows down
why does it do that
because they want to make sure it
doesn’t go over you
think they need
technology to
fix that no because when you undo it yourself you
could just turn it off like that and it’s like
three cents bam
you know what i mean
they didn’t want you to go over because if you go over
just a little bit and everybody goes over just a little
bit and you add that little bit all together it’s
probably millions of dollars no but there
should be a
technology where it just turns it off at this time
well really the problem is
the the real
technology issue is that this fucking fuel
issue the real
technology is the gasoline
thing we need gasoline to make
every single
thing on this
earth and we need gasoline to move
now that’s the real technological
that’s the hurdle the hurdle isn’t
your last dollar
when you’re pre paying for gas
the hurdle horses
the real hurdle is the fucking oil
you know that’s some frightening shit man
what there is
things what my
point was there is
things that you’re just i’m amazed
that you know
such things are so different
you know from 20 years ago
other things like that is just like come on gas pumps
well yeah i hear you but
i don’t think overall i don’t
think it’s important for that
there’s no innovation as far as like the fuel that’s
you know eventually they’re
gonna have to come
up with something new and then when that happens then
then then we’ll
reach some new
point where you know we have to abandon
gasoline entirely but they’re
gonna have to make some
gigantic discoveries
but that’s so possible man
people don’t even
think about how possible that is they
could come up with
some new way to fucking make hydrogen tomorrow and it
would change everything
you know or some
other new type of
new way of making
batteries that makes batteries last longer
they could figure out some
weird shit man and then instantly
everything changes
yeah battery
technology is
slow as fuck i mean mac just released a new
refresh of their macbook this week
and it added
two or three more hours
to the last model
so that’s x8
that’s pretty
good that’s pretty good
but usually they do that by
making the batteries larger and making it so you can’t
pull them out yeah but they didn’t with this one really
it’s a replaceable
no this is the same size i mean oh okay no i mean they
didn’t change anything yeah the new macbooks can get 10
hours supposedly yeah nine and 10
hours i have
this 17 inch macbook
pro whatever it is
but this thing
doesn’t get nearly as much
as they say it does if you were like actually using it
i got this one
which was a last
model you know
and this gets
it’s supposed to get five
hours i get two
hours and this is a
brand new battery
yeah well it’s like you have to like turn the volume on
the brightness on the
screen way down
you know that saves a lot of it
you can’t be
cranking volume you can’t be watching
movies if you use wi fi
it eats it up if you have a cellular card it eats it up
but yet the
ipad seems like you can do all that and not even take a
dent to that amazing
that’s a fucked up battery
what’s up with that battery
that battery is
crazy dude i use that battery for a
whole weekend
it says like 50
i know they
should just get like
three of those batteries and then
yeah when i’m in a
hotel dude i sit with that
thing i get on the net
and i’ll do it for
hours you know
i’ll read i’ll even
write some shit on there
write like little notes
and then i look at it it’s like 96
batteries i’m
still liking
that ipad by the way it’s a pretty cool little
thing man that’s the future son
the future is some new fucked up
thing that’s even
easier to transport around than that cause that
right now is
the portable typewriter of the future
you know it really is
god i miss typewriters
did you type on a type oh yeah i had to do it for
school and you know
you make a mistake
and you have to like take that white
marker thing
you know and go over it and
what a fucking pain in the ass must have been to
write a book back then yeah
yeah actually
click click
click click
click click
click click
that tv though has this that new
three d tv i got has this
thing called two hundred
forty megahertz mode it’s auto motion plus mode
and it is the most fucked up
thing what it
does is it it’s so fast that it actually makes up
frames in between frames
and what the outcome is is
awful it makes any show or any movie look
completely fake
like when you watch
if you take titanic
and if you sit there with a
movie camera and film titanic
it looks like a
movie because it’s a
movie camera
you take it that same
scene and record it with a
video camera
it would look fake and
kind of like cheap and
stuff right
that’s what this does though to
every show so you sit there and watch lost
or anything
you get pissed off because it looks like a soap
opera isn’t that kind of
weird that video
like people that don’t use video for
things and one of the reasons is because it makes
stuff look fake
yeah i make
stuff look it
doesn’t look as cool
but what it means is it
doesn’t look as good yeah
exactly it’s not as
clear an image
right it’s it’s
not as foggy yet it’s also that you can
focus like in film you can
focus on the guys in the foreground
whereas video kind of just captures everything
right and that’s what this tv does is it takes each
frame and makes
everything in focus
so it makes
everything seem
really phony
like if you
watch loss it looks like a soap
opera from mexico
i mean it’s fucking
great it ruins everything
so i don’t know why if
samsung made that mode
but i want to get
that now i want to make
everything look fake that
sounds awesome
pretty bad man i want that though
oh yeah it sounds like
more fun what’s
great is doing it and not telling somebody and
going dude what’s your favorite
movie godfather
okay let’s watch it okay
this doesn’t seem as good as i remember
it like it will make you free
even a godfather
oh yeah old
movies like that any movie
so it’s some sort of a software
thing it’s a it’s a it’s a
it just takes every
frame makes it a hardware
conversion yeah it’s a hardware in the in the
tv so the tv
is actually making you
could take an old
movie and it will add
frames to it and make the
it makes it look
it speeds it up
to the point
where it adds
extra frames
it’s kind of like a really fast monitor
you know so it
doesn’t look fast or anything but it looks
crisper and
clear and it looks crazy
how much time do you
think there is before
they make movies just
completely artificial that look like real movies
where it’s like
you know like a
video game like video game
style like what was that one
movie they did
where they did a
whole movie like that
final fantasy
final fantasy
is that what is a sci fi movie
but it looked kind of fake
you know kind of
goofy looks really fake now too
yeah now it looks
stupid as fuck right
but back then it was like wow this is kind of
impressive what they did
yeah not really good enough though to warrant making a
whole movie right but
how many more years are
gonna go by before they can make like humphrey bogart
movies yeah
like make a fake
humphrey bogart
movie recreate his voice
recreate his intonations is
you know that’s
gonna happen
right yeah i
think it’s only a few years off they’re
gonna be able to make porn
with anybody
they’re gonna
be able to make any
sarah palin
hillary clinton
are gonna have
lesbian porn
they’re gonna fuck each
other and fist each
other fuck yeah
that’s gonna be a
video game choose your character obama
it can look so realistic
but totally be unrealistic
like it could look exactly like hillary
is just armpit deep
into sarah palin’s
pussy just punching
it i mean you
could make that
splattering just pussy
juice all over the wood
whoops i killed a mic
splattering pussy
juice all over the wall
you’re gonna be able to recreate that yeah
yeah biowolf
was another one that somebody just said that beowulf
yeah it was terrible
i liked that
movie it was alright but it didn’t look real
it didn’t look real at all
but it was cool it was a fun little fantasy movie
i think they
should have
done the lords of the rings that way actually
the lords of the rings like
gollum is fake
but everybody else was real it’s like
there was some fake shit there
that was hard to swallow even though they were awesome
movies don’t get me wrong
i think it would
be even cooler if the whole
movie was kind of fantasy
i don’t need real actors you know
plus real actors look too
human to me
i want a hobbit to be fucking
weird looking i wanted
to you know
i don’t want you just be some dude wearing like
furry shoes
right that look like feet but yeah i just watched
alice in wonderland last
night and that was actually kind of cool how they
took real characters but they distorted them
made their heads bigger and
smaller yes
that was cool yeah
the the main
the queen of
hearts who was that lady what’s that lady
helena bottom corner
yeah she had the big
giant fucking head that was pretty
trippy i love
that cat too yeah the cat was badass but that was a
movie to only go to see if you’re really high
you know it wasn’t
okay it wasn’t that
good it was not good
it was interesting
cause i was
barbecued i
ate a pot cookie
like an hour before i went to see that
movie so when i went to the
movie i was just by the time the
first frame
started to film i was
full blown i was like
which is completely
blown out so it’s fascinating
that the cat was really interesting
but like as
like a plot and
everything it was like
so he didn’t
give a shit he didn’t give a fuck what happened
but yeah getting really baked and watching that
your favorite
movie get fucked up by that motion plus
thing you should check it out it’ll creep you out well
i can’t change my tv
that seems really
now that’s what the tv for back here is usually
3d one i don’t want to do it
and but you know what’s also cool
about it is how this tv
is so connected to the internet
like i hit a button
and it tells me like yahoo
news my gmail
my flicker i hit another button
and i got netflix and i got amazon
video on demand all through my tv remote like it’s yeah
yeah mine does that
vcr mind vcr
my dvd player
can download netflix it can
store things on netflix
it can stream things
it can go to youtube and
watch youtube clips yeah it’s pretty
crazy yeah i like it
yeah it’s the future son
the future is you
know shit like this i mean probably
there’s somebody
right now that can
watch this there’s probably
some sort of an application some sort of a way to
watch this on your actual tv
oh totally totally
i mean you can do it on your iphone
if this isn’t a real tv show
by the way i was
right here this
would be called dead air
and people would be yelling at us you’re
boring as fuck right now son
i was watching you guys last week on top of a waterfall
and it was so
weird it was like i’m in the middle of nowhere
in portland oregon
watching you on an iphone
did you do any
mess when you were out there in portland no
no but to tell you what man portland oregon
i was in a costco
and i always like to play this game when i’m
out of town
and i was like alright i have
15 minutes to find one person in this
store that i
would fuck you know
you get to fuck one person in the
store who would it be
and i could not find
one person in that
store not even like
like a mediocre person
until right when i was
walking out one of the employees she looked like an la2
and i was like okay i’ll pick her
cause i have to pick an
la2 yeah i have to fuck that one
wow well you
maybe have really high standards
no no i mean
it’s every single
person in portland
is fat there
they look very depressed and sad
they just and yeah i guess it’s the meth capital of the
world but yet nature
everywhere beautiful
everywhere you go amazing hot
people that live in portland don’t feel bad yeah i’m
sorry for that
brian doesn’t want to fuck you i didn’t meet
i did not meet you
yeah you might be the shit he
might have just got to a real ugly spot
kinds of armpit hairs on all the
chicks what do you think though about all the
not only that i’ve heard a lot of leg hair too
this is something i’ve read on forums where
women were complaining saying
you know that men should know that women have hair on
their legs and armpits this is silly yeah
i went to a sushi place
first sushi place i’ve ever been to
where they gave you forks
and then i was like wait wait where’s the chopsticks
and i had to go to the hostess
stand and they had to look for chopsticks
at a sushi place
like they were like oh you want america son
i know but you want to fucking go back to
china you can use those chopsticks
that’s what kind of
sushi place they have there what do you think
about all those people that get depressed
and want to kill themselves because it’s you know
sunny five days a year
i believe it i
lived in ohio
and it was like that
every day and i wanted to kill myself and
i just wanted
to go to work and get done
with the day and go back home and play on the internet
and that was because it was
cloudy it’s just disgusting
outside it was gray
every day the sky was gray
you know how many
days a year
i’d say 50 60
of the days were gray the
other were partly
cloudy to sunny
but 60 was like gray sky
like nothing just
death yeah i’ve been there man i’ve been to columbus a
bunch of times doing
stand up and that’s what i found it’s
just real gray there there’s a
bunch of parts of the country that
are just real gray for like a long part of the year
that shit ain’t good for you
no it sucks
it’s weird right we’re kind of programmed
you know the
human body needs
a certain amount from its environment one of the
things we need is sunlight we
literally need
sunlight for vitamins we need it for vitamin d
but we also need it for happiness there’s something
about skies
that are gloomy that are depressing
and it’s like encoded
into your dna it’s like your dna is telling you hey
you’re living in a
place where it’s
gonna be uncomfortable
you’re gonna get drenched you’re not
gonna get that vitamin d that you need
but if you can get past that
you’ll be okay if you can go to the sun and get the
sunny parts then you’ll be
happy like you can literally
literally changes your
state to be in different weather
you know like physically changes it
and if you live in a
place where it’s just
you don’t get that sun you don’t get enough of that sun
yeah and it’s also
different people have different needs too i
think genetically
you know i bet if you’re black
i bet living in a place
where it’s never
sunny is fucking terrible i bet it’s terrible for you
cause like the
whole dark skin the
whole dark skin is supposed to be
in response to
bright sun and
you know living in hot climates
really yeah dark skin like brazil
you know they’re dark skinned and that’s supposed to
be because they have to deal with the hot sun and you
know in that kind of a climate
and if you go to
places like siberia people are pretty fucking white
it’s because no one’s ever outside in the sun
you know what i mean it’s like
you get you grow accustomed to it so
maybe if you’re a person that like
you know is like
got super pale skin it
would be way easier to live in a
place where it
doesn’t get
sunny you know
maybe there’s like genetic needs hmm
very possible
right yeah i mean i wish i knew
about those
lights before though when i
lived in ohio like there’s the sunlight
lights have you
heard of those and those
their artificial lighting
yeah they have
alarm clocks that have that
built into them
really i was
thinking about getting that’s a
trick though
it’s a trick
how the fuck
would that be as good as
going outside on a sunny day
sunny days are awesome because everybody else is
happy too right
i guess that’s the
trick when i
lived in boston
i appreciate the fuck out of
those sunny days
but now in la you’re just so used to it it’s like
sunny days are just what you get
every day it’s actually the opposite
today it’s cloudy and
you get fired up when it’s
cloudy you get oh we’re
gonna get some nice rain
because it literally is sunny here
360 days a year almost
i mean it’s fucking
crazy how many days a year i’m exaggerating
but it’s maybe 320
yeah right it’s pretty high
definitely there’s sometimes there’s like a
month though that it rains like every day
sometimes like
every other year tears
yeah it’s fucked up
you can you can get used to that
but it’s terrible for your skin
you know in
australia when i was in australia they have all
these ads for skin cancer
cause australia
doesn’t have a fucking ozone layer
remember when there was the big hole in the ozone
layer worry
well it’s all over australia
and apparently australia
doesn’t give a shit
but they have all these ads
everywhere you go about um
being careful
because if you
go outside without sunscreen on you
could get skin cancer so they have
these really
graphic skin cancer ads
on the side of buses with stitches and shit you see big
pieces of meat cut out of people
i hate that like
where when you get
cigarettes in
like canada and it shows like some guy with
throat cancer on the back of your box yeah
just like that
england’s rough
about that too
you see people smoking
in england they have big
giant warnings in the back of
their cigarettes
but you need that son look at you you got illnesses
right now you’re
ready to die
brian’s been shitting blood no
it’s sitting
black it’s blood
right isn’t it
blood stomach ulcers
brian’s got a stomach
ulcer he’s fucked
it’s great i have this doctor then
i was talking to him
today and he’s just like so what
your stool is
black and i’m like yeah so last
night i felt like i was gonna
throw up i haven’t
ate in 24 hours
and i feel really
lightheaded and my stool is
black he goes
man we need to get you to the emergency room quick
all right i’m
gonna call you back and
schedule an appointment
and i’m like okay okay and he’s like and you’re not
gonna be able to
drive home i’m like all
right that’s cool
four hours five hours
later he hasn’t called me back so this is going on
right now as we
speak i might
just die right now what kind of a
trooper is brian
this dude is
bleeding out of his butthole
and he’s just hanging out with us
it might be stomach cancer
somebody just said it
might be cancer
i don’t think it’s cancer now you don’t
smell like you got cancer
you smell like you got some also
where’s your dogs at you
should let your dog
smell me growling
at you growling
at your asshole like angry
imagine a dog locks on your asshole
yeah oof it’s happened
it’s happened before
there’s dogs that can
smell cancer
they can take test tubes
and align this
like you know they do this
test with them
where they just have this big
giant like 20 yard line and
down the line
there’s a different test tube and you know at
increments and each different test tube has a different
thing in it and that they’ll go
right to the ones with cancer
and they bark that’s
crazy that’s nuts they can
smell fucking cancer
i love that i love that
whole thing
where there’s
stuff we don’t know
about things like dogs and like that or
just that do they know that and like
just the fact yeah
they know tsunamis are coming they go run
i mean in the thailand
tsunami the
last big one that happened very few animals died man
if any i think the animals all escaped
they all saw it coming and got the fuck out of
dodge like way way in advance
because they don’t have a language
i think that the
earth itself probably has some sort of a language
and if you have a language yourself you know like
human beings
do we have this ability to communicate we’re so
wrapped up in communicating with ourselves
that we don’t
receive any communication from animals or from
plants or from the world
you know i’m not talking
about like words like dogs talk to you
but you ever
meet a dog and you know you can’t fuck with this dog
you ever meet a dog and you’re like what’s
going on buddy
and you’re looking
at him and he’s looking at you and you’re like okay i’m
gonna get the fuck away from you
that dog is sending
somehow or another i mean
it’s not even
his demeanor he’s not growling at you
but he’s just
giving you a look and you’re getting a message
he’s communicating with
you but you got all sorts of shit inside your head the
stock market and your divorce and your fucking homework
and this and that and language and english and i’m
learning spanish and
you got all this shit
going on your head
i bet the earth itself actually has
some sort of
a way of communicating with beings and with animals
that don’t have languages
like they can tune into shit that we can’t tune into
you know that’s how dogs can smell
things and tune into things and
i mean they have a
super super
super powered senses
if they can
sense that they if they have cancer you know
right well that’s
maybe they can you know
maybe we don’t they just
can’t communicate yeah
you know but dumb dogs you know
it’s funny when the doctor was asking me if it was
black and i’m like i don’t know it’s like
very dark dark
brown he goes well dark
brown and black is
completely different
and i’m like it’s not really different
i’m like do you want me to take a
photo of it and he goes no that’s not necessary
well are you talking
about 10 000
difference like if i say no it’s
black are you gonna
make me go to the hospital and do all this shit
that’s why i
just don’t get doctors you know that’s like
well he’s just probably
tired of people man yeah
every day deals with people that are broken
could you imagine what that
would be like
that’s like psychology
i was a psych
major for a
while in college
and i was thinking like
maybe i should be a
psychologist i give people good advice
and then i thought about it
and i was like you’re
gonna be dealing with fucked up people every day
every day you’re on fucked up energy
the best you can do with
these people is make them not fucked up
you know that’s the best you can do
but you’re not
getting any fucking happiness and joy and
excitement and
all powerful feelings all day
creativity you know
you’re just dealing with fucked up people and some
people want to do that some people want to help you and
good on you good on you
but man that
would have to be a fucking drag
and also in la i
think it’s completely
worse like if you’re in columbus so
self indulgent
out here yeah and plus there’s so many people
so many people
and so many people trying to do something
completely unrealistic
how many people out here want to be famous
you know and i live
out in the burbs and you run into people and you don’t
think that they’re the type and then
as you get to know them you find out oh i came out here
to be an actor didn’t work out then i got into plumbing
you know hey
you know i always want to be an actor
always want to do this and how’d you get your spot
i always want to do that man
how’d you get on that show
i just wanted to do that and you find out that like
literally like
you know the
percentage of people that move out here for
even in the back of
their head they have some
weird show biz
dream it’s like fucking
sixty percent
you know that’s a
completely unrealistic number if you think
about how many
people there are out there that actually become
famous from acting
especially acting man
i mean it’s fucking who
who’s to say
you’re a good actor and how the hell do you get good at
pretending to be someone you’re not you know i mean i
guess there’s some methods to it and i guess
you know it all depends on your personality
what kind of energy you’re packing inside of you but
then somebody has to
agree to put you in a
movie and somebody has to
agree they like you and
what are the odds that’s
gonna happen
fuck man so
those people are all
they have these unrealized
dreams and that fucking
chips away at them
and then the reason why they wanted to be actors in the
first place a lot of them is
because they’re fucked up
because they didn’t get any attention as a child
oh i coughed up i got
i was kind of
broken up with the story
they didn’t get any attention as a
child which
is the same reason why people become comedians and you
know any kind of extreme attention performer like that
you know so then you’re dealing with like
so many people with that
so many people with problems
so many people that need to be fixed and
just give him some pills
just give him a fucking pill and shut them up
you know after a
while i think
these doctors
could just tired
just tired of dealing with shit
could you imagine being
the guy who has to deal with your problem every day
every day someone
comes to him and he’s got some sort of an ulcer
or something
especially when it’s like a butt doctor
you know can you imagine
what that is like seeing buttholes all day yeah you
gotta fix some
you gotta fix some yeah
nobody’s coming in with the perfect
butthole and you’re like i have good news for you
your butthole is perfect yeah
now if you’re
going to see
the butt doctor you got a butthole problem yeah fuck
you could be
dehydrated it depends what
color your shit was do you
drink a lot of
water yeah i had two
gatorades already
today so i’m not dehydrated
that’s not one and did you know that you
could pinch your hand and you
could tell if you’re
dehydrated if your skin goes back slower you know
did you know that
that’s a good way to tell if you’re dehydrated i’ve
heard about that from dudes that
cut weight yeah
yeah when they know that they’re
ready to die
yes they cut so much weight that
their their
bodies failing on them
well a lot of guys who cut weight
get really crazy with it like
they’ll go down from like you know
there’s dudes that go from well over 200
pounds and they go all the way down to 170
yeah like thiago
alvez you’ve seen that guy before
right he’s huge
when i stand next to that
guy i cannot believe that that guy gets to 170 pounds
he’s so much bigger than me i
weigh 185 pounds
and that guy is
way bigger than
me he is gigantic and somehow another he
dries himself out totally
to one seventy
gets on the
scale and then rehydrates
and gets to like two hundred
pounds by the time
it comes to fight
it’s crazy i don’t know how they do it yeah
i don’t know how they do it
but it’s dangerous
and when dudes are
like at that last
drop you know i mean
tiago’s never looked bad
but i’ve seen some guys look real bad it’s like
travis looter once
didn’t make weight for the anderson silver
fight and he was trying to try to try but he
could not cut the weight for whatever reason
and he’s walking towards the
scale and he was
shuffling because he couldn’t even pick his feet up and
and his cheeks were all
sunken in he looked like he was
gonna die his lips were all chapped and broken
and i was like whoa
this dude looks
like he’s in a goddamn concentration camp this is crazy
all just to be bigger than the other guy
what are you doing man
in the head you’re gonna die
losing composure son
pull it together
pull it together boy so um
we wanted to talk about that
the miss america
the miss usa you don’t want to confuse them because
apparently ones legit
mrs rogan was telling me that one of them is
legit one of them is important
and the other one’s silly yeah
which one’s
trump owned
they’re the fucking same
thing to me
right i don’t see how miss america
or miss usa but i
guess one of them is like the cooler one
and like miss usa
wishes she was
miss america or miss america wishes she was
miss usa right
and the other one is like cheesy
yeah one’s like hooter
girls i heard
one of them i
think has you have to like talk
and give like a
speech and shit
and the other one you just fucking
flare your baton
and miss america
what’s it called flip your
what’s the word flip
your for batons
flip your lid
all they are is who i’d most like to fuck contest
and the fact that we still give a shit
who wins the who i’d most like to fuck contest in 2010
that’s very strange
you know and this one is very controversial
because the last
woman you know who is in the big controversy
was that carrie prijan
check who hated gays
or didn’t want him to get married or whatever
she didn’t hate gays
i mean i’m just putting words in her
mouth she was just upset she
only thought regular
marriage she wasn’t she was opposed to opposite
marriage or she was opposed to
the same sex marriage but she
supported opposite sex marriage
let’s say that’s how she
described it like opposite
marriage here’s a train wreck
well she was just a dumb
chick who’s hot you know
if you’re a dumb chick and you’re hot
how hard is it to have your shit together
virtually impossible
you know you’re around people that
tell you’re
awesome all day long everybody wants to fuck you
you have you don’t even know what
color the sky is
what the fuck do you know you know
could you imagine one of me must be like like
how hard is it to be enlightened and to be free
and to be like
without ego if you’re a hot
chick in like your twenties
dude everywhere you go everyone
treats you like you have the willy wonka golden ticket
everywhere you go
guys are willing to
leave their
wives they’re
tripping over themselves they’re trying to buy you
things or trying to take you out
everywhere you go
it sucks dating
those girls too
why does it suck because
then they’re so used to a certain way that you’re
you know what i mean i could say
gotta keep the pin
pants strong son you
gotta fuck em
right and then don’t call em
just make em
make em know
the game’s different now okay
i’m not that 60 year old man that bought you a ferrari
alright i’m here to give you some dick
and then we’re on
equal terms
we’re not getting crazy
i’ll have to buy you
things settle
the fuck down
they’ll get mad if you don’t buy them
things though right yeah
you don’t care the last boyfriend cared
look what he bought her he bought all
these diamonds
you bought her all
these things and
they get to
walk around with them and the walking around with them
is very important it’s more important than having them
they want everybody
to see that someone loves them so much they
spent all this fucking money
so that miss
usa check that
she was a big problem because she
didn’t like the gay so the fucking christians got all
crazy with her
and they were like yes you’re on our side
then it turned out she did some porn
she had made her own home
movies with a big
dildo and shit she
had a dildo
in her ass or something there’s all
these different versions of what actually happened
but she went into sue
she was trying to sue miss usa and she was like talking
crazy lawsuit talk
and they’re like really
let’s just sit the fuck down
we’re gonna show you this
video of you with a big
black rubber dick in your asshole
or whatever happened
strap on i don’t know
we just should clarify for the broadcast
we don’t know what exactly was on that tape but
apparently it was some
some shit that
you’re not supposed to do if you miss usa
which is hilarious
you’re in a who
i’d most like to fuck contest and it can’t even be a
video of you out there fucking
we can assume that you fuck but if you capture a video
that’s that’s in violation and you’re gonna
attract undo attention to our cause
our cause of
the miss who i’d most like to fuck contest like
what what the fuck is
wrong with people
when i was in high school i
would go to hooters
and just be
complete assholes we
would let go all right
since it’s called hooters we’re allowed to look at
their hooters so we’re just
gonna go in there and stare at
their hooters and not even look at
their face as a joke let’s
do it how old are you guys this is like 15 16 years old
and so we just go there and like the
whole time just staring at
their tits and they’re like
how rude dude
i hope you feel bad
about that now i do feel bad
about it when you get really
stoned does it
haunt you yeah
does when you eat like a brownie
chicken wing
you ever eat a
brownie and your
childhood haunts you you
think i did some douchey shit when i was in
yeah eighth grade
there was like this baby cardinal once
where it was like fell out of his tree and was hurt and
stuff and i just remember being a kid
throwing rocks at it and i’m just like
and it haunts me like that little cardinal
yeah me and
my friend tim
we went hunting for squirrels
and i was my friend
david we went hunting for squirrels with slingshots
and we tagged the squirrel
and he fell out of the tree and then we killed him
and i was like what the fuck
are we doing like why are we killing the squirrel like
why did the squirrel
do shit to me
you know just like we wanted to see if we
could do it and we did it you know
yeah we played squirrel baseball
throwing baseballs at squirrels on
power lines oh dude
it’s fun it’s so fucked up the
things you do
like you’re so inconsiderate when you’re 15
you know and then
i don’t think i was even 15 i was 14 and i
never did it
again i was like god i was like one
thing i was eating that squirrel but
i just killed
that squirrel with a marble i shot him with a marble
like for what
how stupid is that
you know you
learn from those
experiences and then
you learn from that terrible feeling and you
never do it
again but god i wish i didn’t have to do it in the
first place to learn that
you know some people are so fucking insensitive
like some people like how many people do you see just
throwing cigarettes out the window we were talking
about that all the time all the
time that’s that i mean so inconsiderate man it’s funny
i used to do it though
that really sucked when did you stop doing it when it
moved to california
really yeah
it’s like a
california thing
i think why did
california make you stop doing it
cause in ohio
it was normal
it was normal
and then california
i mean cops
would do it
you know whoa
really yeah cops
would be smoking a
cigarette while they’re writing you a
ticket and just
flick it on the ground you know what
the fuck is that
what is it about smokers that makes them
think that the
world is a garbage
because up to recently that was normal
you know right but why is that normal why is it normal
and i had a friend who used to do it he was
hey fucking
taxes they paid to
clean the streets
like that was his
thing he would
smoke he flick it on the ground
and i go why
don’t you just pick that up why do you have to
throw that on the ground he’s like hey fucking
taxes this guy
does his job
is it because it
decomposes is that what it is does have like compose no
oh man there’s a fucking there’s plastic in that
thing who knows what the goddamn
shelf life is on a
cigarette filter
cause i mean like
you know how you can like
throw like a banana out the
window and that’s not that’s a fucking organic thing
a cigarette
filter is not an organic
thing i mean there may be biodegradable
cigarette filters but
how long does it take them
how many of them are biodegradable
and how long does it take them to dissolve
flicking your
cigarette out the window creates jobs
yeah that’s what my friend’s argument was
someone saying that on twitter
that’s what my friend’s argument was
yeah he’s a fucking guy justice for a living
this is what he does just
clean it up
his argument was that
like there’s somebody gets paid to do it so it’s like
cleaning up at a restaurant
why should you clean up
you know you don’t
clean up the waitress is there to
clean up that’s her job
he thought the city streets
were there to be
clean so he
would just flick his
his ashes everywhere
yeah i just one of
things i guess i
never got i
never understood i just did just did
because everybody else did yeah
what did you
start to feel bad
about it you’re the one that made me feel bad
about it when we were at the comedy store i
flicked on the ground and you were just like pick
that up what the fuck are you doing and i’m like what
what are you talking
about you just don’t
throw it on the ground and it was
you who were like i was like really i’m being serious
yeah man i have a thing
for you were the
first person to say it though like
really ever no one ever told you not to litter that’s
crazy ever not from that cigarettes
no really yeah ever you’re the
first person to ever do that
i’m very i’m very sensitive about like
mess like believing
a mess like i don’t ever want to inconvenience
other people because i’m lazy and inconsiderate
so it’s like
i’ll never like
throw garbage on the ground
if i drop something i’ll
chase after a little receipt
cause cause i
wanna make sure that i pick that up and
throw it out
you know i’m very sensitive
about that shit i just
think that that’s a
gross fucking
characteristic of
human beings i don’t ever
wanna see that myself
that inconsiderate
like lazy litterer
you know it’s just a
gross characteristic
like we need to fucking move past that
i see people in fucking hybrid cars all the time
flicking cigarettes out the window that
tries me nuts
there was talking
about that we i did a
whole thing
about it like a year and a half ago in san francisco
yeah i was screaming
at them because i saw like four of them in a day
four guys in hybrid cars just throwing
cigarettes out the window it’s like
this is this is
ridiculous like what
what the fuck are you doing
what makes you
think that that’s okay and you’re you’re
fighting the oil companies you’re
trying to be conservative and you know with you know
gasoline and
everything like that and make sure that you
leave a small footprint and you’re throwing
cigarettes out the window
it’s weird i’m like that with a lot of
things where i’m like
i’m ashamed of myself of how i act like
especially when i’m in a
hotel room and i like
flick come on the walls and
stuff i’m like yeah fuck this
come on the wall do you do that yeah i don’t know why
you do that
still yeah i do
it all the time oh you’re
gross that’s what
deal is the
reason why hotel room has so many washcloths okay
it’s supposed to come in a few of those
you’re not supposed to be
flicking around i
think it’s because i can’t do it at home
oh you know what i mean
i went through my come
everywhere if you’ve ever seen those
television shows like inside edition
or whatever the fuck they are you know they 2020
when they go to
hotel rooms we’re
gonna take you into
hotel rooms find out what’s really going on
and they use like
black light and they find jizz
everywhere to
jizz and then on the
glasses i guess those
glasses they don’t really
clean them it’s just like that
the woman like
rinses it out and then puts
like a thing on it
so i guess they did it they
swabbed all these
glasses and like 90
of the glasses like
fecal matter
dude they took
the fucking
black light to this one
comforter and it looked like a jackson pollock painting
it was just all jizz
it was just
dried jizz all over this fucking
thing it was like a goddamn constellation it
it was disgusting there was just loads all over it
and they were like talking
about what the different
things was this is
blood this is
proud and they
were saying that it was one of them was period
blood they were very specific
this is menstrual
blood most likely
this is this is
sperm like what the fuck
you know if you think
about it that’s what you’re
sleeping in you know
what all the loads that you’ve
blown on hotel sheets and
those sheets just get washed they probably do a shitty
job what’s crazy is they don’t even wash the comforter
you know like
once a month or
something like that that’s the
thing yeah that’s
where all the loads are that’s what they
literally found the show
it was the comforter
and the headboard
you know especially
those those beds that have like a
cloth headboard
fucking boom
it’s just like like
like the back windshield and pulp fiction
josh walter
shut that dude that
that’s what
it is just loads all over that fucking headboard
what was that dude’s name kenny
i forgot you just shot
kenny in the head
that was the really uncomfortable
scene where quentin tarantino
tried to be down
and said the word nigger to
samuel jackson
and kept saying it i got a dead nigger in my
house like why do i have a dead nigger in my
house right
and it was like what
who the fuck talks like that yeah
you know who
there’s not even gangsters
even there’s no
white guys that’s that
talk like that to black guys
why do i have a dead nigger in my
house i mean that
scene was so fake
and it was so like
him living out some weird
white boy fantasy
where he wants to be able to say nigger to a
black guy because he
wrote it in a script
yeah you know
i used to be a big quentin tarantino fan but you know
when i see i saw that
tmz video you ever see that
where he attacks like the cameraman no
and he just came off such a
like a dick and i was
i’ve seen him come off really cool in
interviews i’ve seen him come on off like a dick but i
think he’s a volatile
god because he’s a creative guy and he’s probably
super fucking busy all the time and a lot of stress
and if you catch him at the
wrong time and you’re trying to talk shit to him and be
stupid he’s very likely to talk shit back to you and
come off all douchey
but you gotta
think what’s the situation
it’s not him forcing his douchiness on someone
it’s someone wanting to
videotape him when he does
wanna be videotaped
someone coming up
remember but i
think it was just somebody
damn i wish i
could find that link
right now i
think it was somebody
going hey a big fan of your
movies and stuff like that
he was just like
really yeah i
think it was something like that i remember
thinking wow
maybe just has a huge aversion
to all that
tmz shit you
know maybe that just
drives him nuts
i don’t know you
know i’m a big fan of pulp fiction i love that fucking
movie but then i read all that shit that
roger avery said
you know roger avery who’s in jail
he claims that there was like a movie that
quentin tarantino did
where he was a star in the
movie where he had this
whole scene
about top gun do you remember the
scene no he had a
it was a whole
scene in this movie
about top gun being a gay story
and this is why it’s gay and like
you know and
like he goes into this
whole rant well
apparently that was like
roger avery’s rant
roger avery
yeah roger avery wrote
killing zoe
which is an awesome
movie if you’ve
never seen it really interesting
cool crime movie
and he wrote pulp fiction with quentin tarantino
and you know they
would collaborate on things
and then you know he
would tell he
would say tell me as
these stories
he’s pushing slapped him
yeah well maybe that guy needed to be you
okay let’s play the
audio put it play the
audio and put it up to
microphone and it’s called
tarantino slaps a cameraman this is what it’s called
let me pause this real quick and
okay let’s play it
so he’s walking through this parking lot
what’s going on
here what’s going on here put that down what’s
going on here what are you doing
what are you doing can you not talk to me just for just
what are you doing don’t do that again
that’s that’s just hold on just keep going
are you so you know she’s not just a guy from
you’re actually paparazzi guy
yeah you know you can
yeah cuz you’re filming
yeah but if that was off i’ll be
whooping your ass up and down this tree yeah go
oh man
that’s interesting
and if you look at the
so if you haven’t seen it
it’s tarantino slaps a cameraman on youtube
and it’s some guy who gets douchey with him
i’ll put it in your chat on the u stream
but if you look at the the the the
other videos like the related videos like quentin
tarantino spits on some guy
on a reporter
well he doesn’t like to be fucked with maybe
that guy just came up to him with the camera and he
wouldn’t tell him what it was
about he just
sticking a camera in his face and
maybe he felt like he was
being violated and he felt like that guy was a dickhead
you know i mean look
i could see his
point you know look
when someone’s fucking with you like that you know
they don’t always
catch you in the most
perfect of moods
you know i mean he
could easily be involved in some big stressful fucking
thing with some
movie he’s doing and he’s in the middle of the shit
and then he steps outside some guys got
a camera in his face he’s like what are you doing man
why are you doing this
and the guy won’t say anything to
him or the guy won’t explain it to him and he gets mad
it’s possible
maybe just sense the guy was a douchebag
we’re not seeing the guy with the camera you know
i just posted it on my twitter redband com or redband
tarantino’s a bad
motherfucker well pulp fiction was an awesome
movie but i don’t know you know the the whole
roger avery thing is
that’s unfortunate
roger avery says that that
whole top gun rant was like his rant
and the tarantino
he said it in
front of tarantino and tarantino went and put in a
movie with tarantino
that’s what he does kind of like with his
movies like a lot of his
movies are like old stories that he kind of like redoz
right yeah well
you’ve talked about
earlier about the hurt
locker how that guy’s suing the writer of the hurt
locker saying that he took a
article that he did for playboy
i guess about his time in the
the bomb squad and they rewrote it into the
movie the hurt locker
and it’s really similar like the guy had
like blonde hair blue eye came from a trailer
the whole deal like his
story is exactly that story
but in their defense like how many guys in the military
are blonde hair blue eye come from trailers
it’s probably a lot you know
oh totally but the fact that he was actually a bomb
you know specialist
right detonation
specialist and this guy was as well
yeah and what’s
crazy even is
the creator of those movies
are supposedly
going to sue
thousands of
bittorrent users people that have downloaded the
movie illegally on the internet
and they’re
gonna go after all
these users
which i thought was
very metallic
y metallica
yeah like the old
now very mars
earlage yeah very douchey
do you think that that’s douchey i
think it is douchey well if it’s his
movie right
right if he’s losing
money because all
these people do you
think he’s really losing
money from it i don’t know i mean that’s an argument
right there it is an argument but it’s you know
look no one has a
right to it for free
that’s an argument as well
you don’t have a
right to be downloading someone’s work
these guys worked they did all this
you know time
pause time put all this effort
made a script
cast it got funding the
whole deal and all you do is just
press a button
on bittorrent and
you got it on your desktop and you
watch it for free
there’s something fucked up about that
it’s not like a band
you know like if you go see
a band you know like say if you download a band’s mp
threes and you got them you know offline
wire some shit
and then you go well i’m
gonna go support
these guys i’m
gonna see them you know in concert i’m
gonna buy the cd because i like so much
you know i’m
gonna become a fan of this band because i downloaded
their shit for free
is that really
gonna help you with this guy with this movie
i mean when’s his next movie
a fucking year from now or something like that
i mean are you really gonna be
excited to go see his next work is it advertise
him is it does he get any
of you stealing a shit depends if he was how good this
movie is and how good of a director is
if he was quentin tarantino
doing pulp fiction i downloaded that i’m like holy
shit i’m buying that shit on blu ray i’m following i’m
watching every
movie this guy does
you know what i mean
oh i see that argument
or you might just decide to
steal his next shit
right like oh
his next shit’s
coming out like you really do you support them
do you do that like if
you download something and you like it do you support
the yard absolutely
absolutely yeah i do too i
think that’s important man
it doesn’t happen
quite as often that it
should though i don’t
think you know like
do you do that with
movies like if you download a
movie and you
really like it do you buy oh yeah yeah totally totally
beowulf was one of them i download beowulf and how does
that work what if you have
a legal copy in your house
and then you also have an illegal copy on your computer
oh it should cancel it out but i don’t
think that’s how it works it
should totally
right yeah you
should be able to have a copy as long as you’re
not putting it up on some sites or something like that
if you have your own copy
what the fuck is
wrong with that yeah you know it
would be cool
if you got in
trouble and you’re like alright you’re
gonna go to
court for 100 000
but you have 24
hours to buy this
movie on dvd
yeah yeah that’s actually a good move
right that’s a
great move yeah
just sue everybody
but you have to buy it on blu ray in 24
hours it’s a
tricky argument man
it’s a tricky argument because you
know what’s
going on on the internet now
is that anything
can be broken down to ones and zeros i mean
these images
these videos
these song files
audio files
it’s all just ones and zeros flying through the tubes
and you know anybody
can put it up there and anybody can pull it down
and when you can convert a
movie and you know you do all the time
into something digital that’s downloadable it’s like
how the fuck do you control that
you know you have to just hope that you make enough
movie enough
money when the movies out
and that enough people get
excited about it to buy the dvd for all the
extra features and all that shit
but then people take the dvds
after their release they put
those up what i don’t get is a friend
of ours actually just got a letter from their isp
saying that um abc has
caught them really downloading a
bunch the joe
that abc has caught them for downloading a
bunch of shit and
and they’re
like this is just a warning nothing’s happening
right now but we just wanted to
let you know that abc sent us this letter and they know
about you downloading so
chill the fuck out
and what was
crazy is it wasn’t anything
it was tv shows
free tv it was like
lost and stuff like that it wasn’t even a movie
so but was he
downloading it illegally
yeah he was downloading them illegally you’re
not supposed to do that because
they have their own sites and there’s pay services
i know i just thought it was
crazy that they caught him for
free instead of
him getting caught for avatar
and did he do this through
bittorrent is
that how he did it yeah wow
they busted on that but
you know he’s one of those guys
yeah but you know he’s one of
those guys i don’t know if you do this either
but he’s one of
those guys that downloads a movie
and then keeps it seating for like two months
you know oh
really you know what i mean
cause i’m one of
those people like
he does that yeah
oh that’s probably what they caught him doing they
probably caught him
seeding the
video right yeah so that’s why they caught him
but see but
i am one of
those guys like once i download
seconds download
delete torrent
file you know and
i wonder how many people like do that like they look at
their shit and they go okay what how many
you know where were all
these coming from they’re coming from this one
and what is
this guy doing oh look at this he’s put up all these
things that we have
and it’s coming from this one user
let’s find out who this isp
belongs to i
think a lot
of people don’t even know how to use the torrent
system so like you get a lot of like
young kids or
moms that are like downloading sex in the city
and they just keep the torrent
going for life
what do they
do they get your ip from that or they find out your isp
your isp is your internet service provider
and the internet protocol is your specific
number that
everyone that gets online if you don’t
know this you have a very specific number it could be
static or it
could fluctuate it
could fluctuate if you have dial up like
every time you do it you get a different ip right
right so what it is it’s
these movie
places putting out
their own torrents
and seeds and collecting ip addresses from
like they’ll put their own
movies out really
so they put their
movie out on purpose to see if you download it i
think that’s how one of
their ways they are doing
it dude that’s the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard of
that should be
but see what they’re doing is
entrapment i
think that’s
a lot of it though
is if you download like i downloaded eminem cd once
and it was like all
these songs were loops
and i think it was like oh
it was like bait
so they put out shitty versions of it
well that’s ridiculous
didn’t madonna put out one
i wish i got a hold of that one i
would love to see that
because madonna put out one
where it was like her
music like her new cd
and she’s like if you fucking download
music i’ll kick your ass
something crazy
about that if you download
music illegally i’ll kick your ass
um speaking
that to me sounds like
you know just the fact that they’re doing that
putting out bogus versions of it or versions of
their shit where they can
track you from
you know it sound
and that’s that’s that’s
ridiculous they’re just
trying to arrest people and
scare people now
okay i think that’s dumb
think putting out versions of it to
track people like really
that’s like
that’s like
you putting out the bait you’re putting it out there
you know even if people are already down
you’re actually
putting it out there hoping people will do
things illegally with it
but it’s out there because of you
that seems to me to be fucked up
there’s a funny
story man about these
undercover cops
that arrested
other undercover cops
there was this
whole drug deal that was set up
between these
undercover cops that were posing as drug dealers and
these other
undercover cops that were
posing as as
fires to the drugs yeah
and these fucking
dummies they
they went to arrest each other
that’s so awesome
man i want to see that on video
they’re both
undercover it’s a
i don’t know what
state it’s in i want to download that the
erdel county
i don’t know what that is
i should find out just so everybody knows but the
story is that these guys
they went to
their superiors and they said hey
we’re about to make a
north carolina
they’re about to make this bust
so they said they wanted to find out if
they had anybody
else if somebody had anybody working undercover
and they always say no to that shit because they
could be dirty cops
and the dirty cops
could pay off drug dealers
so the drug dealers find out that
these guys are
undercover and they kill them
so they always say no
right do you have anybody
undercover no
so they say okay
these are not
undercovers we’ve
approved it let’s arrest them so
they use all
these resources
and the whole
thing is them
they’re the drug dealer
they’re the drug buyer
they’re fake
fake drug dealers and fake drug buyers arresting each
other we should get that
money back we
should find out how much that costs
right to do all that that you just did
i think rosco pico
thing you know
that’s a ridiculous cluster fuck
that’s one of the dumbest cluster
fucks of all time
undercover cops arresting
undercover cops
wow yeah it’s hilarious
what’s hilarious is that
volcano it’s like taking all those
planes and grounding
planes you know oh yeah
still right yeah and what’s
great is lindsay lohan was
out of town and she’s supposed to finish all
these alcohol
classes by tomorrow
and she’s just like had four more to do and she was
gonna come back
today and do
four classes in one day
she got grounded
because of that so now she’s
going to jail
really she’s
gonna go to jail because
she had to be here for that she’s supposed to be
here tomorrow and she’s supposed to have had all these
classes done and she can’t even get home to do it so
there’s that many planes are
still being grounded because of that volcano yeah whoa
yeah fucking
by the way when i was in portland how
crazy was it driving down the highway seeing that
mount whatever rush more rush more
what’s the one
what’s the one that blew up oh gee no
mount st helens you fuck
yeah mount i have
so crazy seeing that
thing in the
middle just this huge volcano yeah it’s fucking
crazy people died from that one right
i think so and they had
to is that an oregon or is that in washington state i’m
in washington
state but you
can see it yeah well
we were at we were on the corner of
i guess portland
and washington is like
right next to each
other so because we’re
going to washington
over this bridge back and forth all day long
i was watching a show on
tsunamis we were talking
about the pacific
northwest and how many
times over the last thousand years it’s been jacked
you know but
there is so recent we don’t even realize it
civilization on the pacific
northwest of the united
states has only been the last 300 years
you know so
unless you know i mean
before that
there was indians of course but i’m talking like big
buildings and shit
so like you know the
cycle of them getting hit by
giant tsunamis i mean this it happens
every thousand years or so the
whole side of the country gets hit with some fucking
one thousand foot high wave and
everything gets
crushed wow
i guess what
would tyler
dirten do com
looked up flights
and there’s tons of flights
still going on so she was lying
so she’s just
so she’s fucked even more oh the
dirty bitch
she’s probably
dylan coke didn’t want to fly he’s lying
sources say she can’t get a flight back to the
states because of the volcanic ash from
iceland airports all over europe are jam packed and
it’s impossible to get a seat is what she’s saying but
delta has five non stop flights from
paris to new york city
and like i guess they just went through and
found all these flights so
so the flights not only
there are flights but they’re not booked
i guess so that’s what did
tyler durden do
what would tyler
durden do he says that
the whole thing is very
funny that people even give a shit follow this you poor
young kid that’s all fucked up on drugs
you know and everybody
thinks it’s a funny
deal you know
do you know what you
would be like if you were hot and you were lindsay
lohan you’re 23 years old and you’re a
multi multi fucking millionaire
just out there doing drugs getting
stuffed every
night you know
he’d be fucking crazy too
who the fuck
would not be crazy i
wanna know what person
could keep it together as lindsay lohan
who who could who
could live that girl’s life
twenty three fucking years old looks like she’s forty
been doing drugs
and she was a little kid i mean who the who
could keep it together
you know became
famous as like a child
she went from
basically from like junior high
school to fucking
multi millions of dollars totally unrealistic life
in the told the
whole time we’re supposed to developing
so you’re supposed to be growing as a
human being and
figuring yourself out being insecure and
establishing yourself in the
world what the
whole time that’s all supposed to be happening
she’s getting
millions and millions of dollars for being
famous and for pretending you know
who the fuck
could do that and do it right
the jonas brothers
miley cyrus yeah right
those are ticking time bombs my friend
those are guarantees
those are social guarantees
no no doubt they’re
gonna be fucked up
corey haim and corey feldman neither
one of them
could stop from being fucked up
even together they weren’t
strong enough brian
together you know he
lived by me
i didn’t know that when he died
yeah he that when
all they like people were like
mourning him outside of this
apartment down the
street for me i’m like oh shit he
lived there oh really
yeah that dude had it bad yeah
drugs are a
people thought i look like him
growing up really hmm
i don’t see it no
no don’t say it
do you see it
i did back in the day really
so back to this this fucking
miss america
because what i want to talk about
is how many people are upset
that this miss america
chick is she’s
armenian i guess
something like that
lebanese sorry
armenians would be pissed right now karl
parisian was right here bro bro
bro you can’t fucking say
lebanese and say armenian bro bro
but this this chick
the most important
thing is that she’s american and she’s hot as fuck like
that’s the dumbest thing ever like
you you can’t be from another country you
you know your family can’t be from an arab country
and you can’t be considered an american
just because we have issues with arabs in
other parts of the world like
guess what fuck it
those aren’t the same people like what
how dumb are people that becomes an issue and that
these these are there people that are actually debating
whether or not she got this
job she became miss usa
because of political correctness
and the open
border nazis like look at some of the shit that
these people have said
like this check
right wing pundit
right wing pundit and fox contributor
michelle malkin
ranted that
the girl’s name is fucky
fucky f a k i h
i don’t know how to say her name fuck he’s
cheerleaders are too busy
touting the
identity politics horn
to care what comes out of her mouth
and that the miss usa
pageant didn’t
want to risk the wrath of the open borders mob
what the fuck are you talking so
you’re saying that one of the
other chicks
should have won the who i’d most like the fuck contest
and you’re upset that this chick won
because the reason why she won
is because everybody’s
super sensitive and wants to support arabs
like really
like how dumb is it that even miss usa becomes like a
topic of debate with
these fuckheads oh shit
like a political correction
topic of who
cares she’s fucking hot she can
be a terrorist she’s hot as fuck and she she grew up
going to catholic
school man i mean
how the whole
thing is so fucking poorly
researched and
you’re not even making any
sense so you’re saying that anybody
even someone who grows up and goes to catholic school
they can’t be on the team because
somewhere and
their past there’s someone
who lives in some
other part of the
world and those people are
still there and really
is that how we’re rolling in 2010
i mean america is a gigantic
group of immigrants
and this chick and her family obviously wherever they
lived sucked and that’s why they came here
and the fact that they
would actually
argue that she
doesn’t deserve
the win the who i’d most like to fuck contest
because of that i mean
if she was fat and disgusting
you know she was like some
susan boyle looking
chick and it was totally
ridiculous then i
could see the argument but
how the how the fuck
could you argue that that
chick’s not hot
you can’t what
else do you have to do to win miss usa what is
the what is the
i don’t know do you have to
dance do you have to talk
what do you have to do i
think you have like a bathing suit contest i
think you have to do like some kind of like
we definitely have to talk
because that’s how perez hilton
busted that carrie prijan
check she he
asked her about gay
marriage right
so you have to talk i
think you’re only allowed to have like
small nipples you can’t have the big areolas
you have to have like a certain
breed look kind of like a dog
this other chick gretchen carlson
bunch of hating bitches
bunch of hating bitches and all on fox news
fox news is awesome
why is fox news
still around yeah they’re awesome they’re awesome and
their stupidity did we already talk
about why how is
it that they are
how is it it’s news
how is it that
they’re allowed to call it
news but how is it that they’re so like
like that but yet they have some of the most
edgy cartoons and tv shows on
their shows you know like simpsons and family guy
and yet their news is so like
you know right wing
where rupert murdoch is
super super
super fucking rich
and when you
get that rich there’s only one way to be that rich
the way to be that rich is
you know you got to be a ruthless
motherfucker businessman
and that’s what he is he’s a ruthless
motherfucker businessman and when you’re like that and
super shrewd and ruthless you want conservative
politics you want people that are protecting your money
you know to be able to do
things that are
gonna earn you
money you don’t want to have to hear
about liberals and
wininess and fucking environmental
freaks and all
these assholes are gonna
stop you from you know
making a good return this
quarter you know and that’s what it is
when you get to be that
super rich and very few guys like ted turner
that are that rich you know
ted turners like this you know
humanitarian and
you know it’s
always like giving you charities and you know very
liberal and his network is
thought of as like a
liberal network cnn is like the only
i mean that’s the one that
i guess msnbc is pretty
liberal too right
but you know
you don’t watch
any of those new
shows cartoon network and that’s got it
i like fox news sometimes man i like
it just to know that there’s people out there like that
when i hear bill o’reilly in his fucking dumb smugness
i’m like there’s really a guy out there like that that
is that satisfied with himself and he’s fucking dildo
that got busted
leaving a message on his assistance machine
about how hot she is he’s a
total hypocrite
he’s a fucking
creep and you
know and yet he’s somehow another he’s
found this this
this niche on tv
where people
enjoy watching them this
niche is that what you
say nice and
these people
enjoy watching this fucking buffoon
rant and rave and yell
at people who go on a show and have dissenting opinions
you know did you ever see that one
where he went on
about some kid whose parents died in 9 11
and he was saying that it was
the kid was saying that this is bush’s
fault and the reason why they’re attacking us
and he just fucking went off on the kid
the whole thing was just so dumb
he kicked him out of there and it’s like
the whole the
way he has conversations he just fucking infantile
and you got to wonder whether or not it’s like is he
doing an act or is he that much of a douchebag
is it a combination of both and why the fuck is it so
you know it’s like listening to christian
radio when you’re driving you know
it sued a lot of people like that bill o’reilly guy i
think this cause there’s a lot of
douchebags out there and douchebags want to hear from
other douchebags
you know one of the
things he had richard dawkins
on who is this
renowned intellectual and atheist
and he wrote
the god delusion
and a couple
other books
about religion
and he thinks that religion is bad and so he was saying
to richard dawkins now you can’t
prove that god
doesn’t exist
so i’m throwing in with god
like he literally said it like that
like you know
if it’s true and there is a god i’m
throwing in with god
you can’t prove that there is no god
which is like
you can’t prove there’s no
cheshire cat you can’t
prove there’s nothing
there’s nothing you can’t
prove anything
you can never not prove
you know especially
when it comes to like
things like people like science is
never disproven
you know the
existence of christ
you can’t disprove
someone’s existence
it’s impossible
like how the fuck do you know who
existed and who didn’t you know
science isn’t there to disprove science is there to
show me some evidence if science finds evidence and
they examine the evidence that’s what it’s all about
when there is no evidence and there’s no
way to determine one way or another you can’t disprove
you know you
could take something like the shroud of turin
and you know
they say oh this is
jesus’s burial
cloth it’s sacred and then you
could do well okay let’s take a little bit of this
cloth and find out how old it is
oh look it’s only
500 years old how
could it be
jesus’s cloth
you disprove it that way but
he’s fucking
dummy so this guy
you know has a huge presence on that network and
he’s got you know he’s like got the number one show on
cable and it comes to like
those kind of
stupid new shows
it’s a huge show
and it’s retarded
it’s so bad
don’t watch it is nancy
grace on that is she on cnn
or she yeah she’s on cnn
right i don’t know her she’s brutal
you know you fucked up if
nancy grace is talking
about you if nancy
grace is talking
about you there’s a dead baby
or you know you you
drowned your wife or something
right it’s something serious
there’s some serious shit and she will
hawk on the same subjects for weeks
waiting for the next disaster to pop up the news so she
could switch gears
she talked about
tiger wins for two weeks
can you imagine being poor fucking
tiger woods
just trying to tune in some cnn
find out what’s
going on in the world
and you got that hatched
face old cunt just talking shit about you
for two weeks
like you would have figured well she talked
about me yesterday she’s done no chance dude
she’s not done she’s not done for weeks she’s
gonna keep going
target see the
blonde hair girl yes
she any girl
she any girl
she’s a woman
blonde hair
whole she’s a
woman she’s an
older woman
i don’t know i mean not not that much
older but she’s older
she’s not that’s one
thing that fox news does well
they put on a
bunch of hot chicks
there are some hot bitches hot
angry mean bitches
fox local news
no i’m talking
about fox news period no
all fox news
the fox local news they’re straight up hookers
really talk to me tell me what’s
going on dude i have
collected a
bunch of clips about the
local fox news channel and not only does the weatherman
dance like every time he’s
given the weather
he does like a straight up
dance like he’s dancing
yeah it’s pretty hilarious
i guess they’re on my facebook i can’t yeah
you sent one
you put one of those on
the message
board and it’s
funny cause
i have about one
every time he does the weather right
and then like
i was out with that
why not right
why not let him fucking
dance but it’s so
funny how bad it is like there was the
other day something like it’s
gonna be wet outside there you know a lot
about wet don’t you tina and she’s like
oh that’s disgusting and really what they go there yeah
it was just like are you really
have you seen that
video clip where the
black guy is sitting with
these three
white chicks and they’re talking
about some new
grafton berg spot shot
it’s like a shot of collagen they
shoot inside a
chick’s pussy
they with a needle they jabber
fucking snatch and
stuff this liquid up there and
apparently it makes sex
feel better it like in hot
it in in it makes
the enhances the g spot wow and so they do this this
whole thing
and um the the
black guy goes well
so i guess she’s enjoying
penis now more
like he said that
and all three
chicks were like
uh yeah okay
yes she’s enjoying
sexual relations
again like you know she
tried to somehow know that
cleaned it up
even though
he used the
right terminology
i mean he used the medical terminology and he didn’t
say anything really inappropriate i mean that’s what
sexual intercourse is
right she’s
enjoying his penis
but somehow
i know the fact that he mentioned it it was like
he said fucking
candyman three times or something you know so and she
enjoys penis
and he’s black too
and so there’s this
black dude with
probably a half a hard on
three white
chicks talking
about their g spots getting pumped up
i bet he fucks them anyway that’s probably what’s
going on it’s probably
trying to keep it together but really fucks all
three of them
ladies let’s talk
about what happened on the air today
once you meet in my locker room
they go in his
dressing room
he’s got candles lit and shit pulls out that big
black fucking snake
and they all just go ass to mouth with them
i don’t like when you talk about cock
while you’re staring at me
you’re like
looking deep i wouldn’t be staring at you if you
weren’t looking away uncomfortably i’m
watching it on the webcam and i’m like oh my god he’s
really close to me
if that is that not the worst
thing that can ever happen when
chick breaks up with you
starts getting drilled by a black eye
there could be a lot of good scenarios might you know
this for a lot of dudes man that
black male equals
just sexual prowess that you will not reach
you know they they equal
big black dick and just athleticism and just just
just gorilla fucking your woman just doing it right
doing things to her that you can’t do she’s
gonna like it
she’s gonna love it she’s
gonna get addicted to that just getting stuffed
just you’re just gonna
stick your little fucking three quarter hard
sad little depressed boner in there and
thinking about getting
going to therapy and
maybe i should take antidepressants
maybe i just need to start yoga and jogging
he’s not thinking
about that he’s got a big giant black hard
monster dick
and he just and she’s so
fucking wet she can’t believe how wet she is she’s just
she’s leaving a big puddle in her
her dna is crying for that big giant dick
he’s fucking the shit out of her
and he does he ignores her
and doesn’t call her and so she gets sad
until she calls you up and
i’m sorry what happened it was a lot of it was my
fault and you know
i just we don’t have to look i know we can
never be together again but
could we just talk
could we just get together and talk
and you like hey what’s
the harm i ain’t got shit to do tonight and you go over
house and next
thing you know you’re on the
couch together you
start making out
and she grabs your dick and she
starts kissing you and she
squeezes your
dick a little bit like she’s looking for more
where is it
where’s the rest
is this what is it
and she stops
and then she goes we shouldn’t do this
because we shouldn’t do this
and then you look over on a
nightstand there’s this
fucking hulking
black guy in a
picture frame
that guy that’s
been delivering the dick to her for the past few weeks
and you just go who’s that
it’s nothing can’t they
fix that nowadays
isn’t there
technology to fix that like a gas pump they
haven’t fixed that
can you take like an
ankle out of your foot or something to
grow your dick yeah they cannot fix dicks
they can’t extend it they can take something
out of your butt and put it in there what they
can do though they can make a fake dick if you’re a
chick apparently chasity bono
who used to be shit when she is
still shares daughter
but now she’s a boy
because she went through a
sexual reassignment
and they give her a
bunch of hormones and they make her a dick
but i don’t think it feels the same
i don’t think it shoots loads
it’s gross is when they take the dick and make it a
pussy where they split it out like an apple
i’ve seen that what’s that you
really have man how
fucked up is your wiring
that you you don’t even like your parts you want to
switch to a girl part
you’re embarrassed you really wish you were a woman
do you think that they really are
women trapped in men’s bodies or do
you do i do believe that
but what about the possibility that throughout
their life they’ve just experienced
so much sorrow
and and so much stress
and so many fucked up situations and so much like
trauma in their life and on top of that
they’re probably gay
and they’re probably or at the very
least bisexual you know their orientation naturally
so it’s like this natural
sexual orientation
that leans towards homosexuality and massive
depression and craziness and
they just decide that they
wanna be a girl
that’s possible too right yeah
too much ibm nami
edamame makes you yeah
i think is there’s either or i
think i don’t
think it’s either or rather i don’t
think there’s any
one scenario but i
think with some people they become
you know it’s a man who becomes a
woman just because they’re fucked up and when
those people
late either yeah there’s fools
get some dicks from me
trick people
and then from
others i think
others are just you know less they just
i mean look
there’s a broad spectrum of
human behavior
it’s very very very very very likely to me
that somehow or another just someone gets a
wacky jean and they just shit why don’t i have a vagina
you know what the fuck
they just they have this feeling like
they’re missing something because they have a penis
but that’s a goddamn commitment
that is a goddamn i don’t remember what the
movie was but there were some movie
where there’s
this guy in a
tranny were yelling each
other you know
and and you know and she’s like
into the tranny was yelling at the guy and the guy goes
you don’t even have a dick anymore you’re so fucking
stupid you chopped off your dick
i just like
i didn’t chop up my dick i fucking turn into a pussy
and the guys like that’s not a pussy
that’s a dick
that’s a dick that’s been cut in half what
movie was that
i don’t remember but
we’re paraphrasing obviously because i don’t remember
where it came from but
some movie or something
but god damn that’s
gotta burn those words
you don’t even have a day you
chopped your dick off
yay yay yay
there was a guy who was a lady boy in thailand
it was kicking a lot of ass it was a tie boxer
and he would
go out a lot of lady boys in thailand
apparently and
this guy was a tie boxer go out there and fuck dudes up
you know and it was a lady boy
wear fucking
dresses and shit
but it was a dude so we get in there and
throw down fuck guys up it was a badass more tie
fighter but then he went to the operation
when you guys balls removed
and when you guys balls removed that’s a wrap son
no more testosterone a baby
the flow stops completely
he shriveled up and got a
woman like and
started getting fucked up
yeah i don’t know
how many fights he had as a woman
an actual woman
after they took his balls off
once they took his balls
off he was useless they beat the shit out of that fool
well that’s what makes you a man when you get
ball cancer and
stuff like that you automatically start
getting more
woman like i wonder
that’s a good question
you know i think with
some guys they wind up supplementing the testosterone
because their balls don’t work
you know i’ve
heard of bodybuilders
having to do that like bodybuilders get to a
point where
they shoot so much test into
their body that
their balls just shut down for life
their balls won’t come back
right so they have to like
give themselves testosterone shots
i was watching that
china porn the
other day oh
i was looking
for a video and
it just happened to come up and i was like oh i forgot
about this video
would you do that that’s like that mexican
drug dealer getting his head cut off did you see that
same thing to me
she has a huge dick
yeah yeah that’s a dick it’s a dick yeah
well that’s what i was saying
they can grow
you a dick and when they give you testosterone
your clit grows to the size of a thumb
it grows big like how big
would you think
her her dick is like two
inches long yeah it was pretty big it was like a thumb
yeah like two inches long
right she had a pierce too if i remember
oh no she didn’t really she did if i remember
dude she was on fear factor
and she completed this this
stunt and and
after she completed this done she flexed
and she goes
who’s the man
no way yes she did
that’s a ringtone
right there
yeah she said who’s the man
what bitch are you crazy
how crazy are you
would you have sex with her
if i had to yeah
yeah if i lived in michigan or some shit
standards lower
you know like
you lived in ohio you had lower
standards right yeah it happens
lived in portland
your standards would drop son oh
dude portland would be impossible really
you want to suck a chick with hairy legs
uh sure i’d
shave em but that was you shave em
first before you fuck
yeah that wasn’t even the problem though
there wasn’t even
like hot chicks with hairy legs it was no
chicks it was
fucking weird there was no mexicans or black what if
she refused to let you shave her legs
what if she’s like listen you have to accept me as i am
can you think you
could fuck a chick or
would you go
olivia newton john on our mega poop leg warmers on
i guess i don’t mind too much
if it’s like
light hair but like
dark hair like what’s that
that precious chick
her legs just make me want to fucking
throw shit monique
yeah i just want to
throw shit at her you want
throw shit at her like a monkey
what the fuck’s
wrong with you
splatter shit
it looks like tree trunks too
her fucking
husband that’s just like i like this shit yeah
sure you do dude just
like not working yeah
yeah you just like the money
makes money
you’re ridiculous
we’re talking shit
people everybody likes
everything yeah there’s people that like
things but man
if you if your girl
doesn’t shave her legs what does she do with her
pussy in her butthole
that’s the question
what kind of a fucking environmental hazard is that
thing what kind of a
wasteland what what kind of
odiferous reaction are you
gonna get when you get near her panties
all the the
funk of the nineteen
seventies of a fucking
just just animal hair just
fur butthole
and the inability to completely
clean everything
cause there’s hair all around your butthole so
every time you’re fucking
it just a slight
smell of shit
every single time
especially when
sweat starts dripping down there
and those big fat meaty thighs
start heating up and
body wants to cool them
down that perspiration
drips down to her butthole and just
waffs up some
fresh new fumes
and it’s pussy funk and old butthole hairs and fucking
toilet paper
dingleberries and
your nuts slapping
against it all and just
like your fan in the fires
and then right when you’re
about to bust a nut you look down her hairy feet oh
your dick goes soft
and her china
dick you gotta
close your eyes
and plug your nose the same time try to regain your bar
remember that
right that’s happy
happy pussies got to be so
gross we ever talked about that when we’re at the
strip club and i thought the young chick was
behind me and i was so drunk that which trip comes
remember oh my goodness
this is like 2001 in
brian’s defense this is a long long time ago
we were at a strip club and brian was happy hammered
and there was a woman who sat next to
brian and brian started making out with this woman
well let’s first talk about it
there was a cute waitress that
brian was flirting with this is what happened first
there was this cute waitress that brian was
flirting with and she was coming talking to him
and she gave him a drink and
and she said i’ll be back to talk to you in a minute
and brian was so shit
faced that he leaned back and closed his eyes and this
haggard old
wizard woman
this witch this this this bitch
just appeared out of nowhere
and the whole deal
attacked me or something like yeah like in her 50s
okay and not like well kept
like ragged
ragged in her 50s with
bad tattoos and a cut off
shirt like where her stomach was exposed
and there’s
stretch marks
from the 1930s on that fucking in her weathered
old leather
saddle of a stomach and her
voice with cigarette
oh right just
stinky breath
she didn’t have all her
teeth either man she was missing a couple of
teeth i mean it was
ridiculous so she sat down next to brian
and brian leans up
against her like this
when brian leans up
against her she grabs his head
and he turns towards her
and they start making out
i thought it was the way to
i’m like i gotta get this fucking kid out of here how
drunk is he this is ridiculous
like this bitch just
saw him hammered
and by the way we’re at a
table we’re at a private little table
so we didn’t
know her she just came over and sat down at our table
and no one knew her and she just came over
sat down like
she’s like a
monster and she
saw a victim
and she saw that he was weak
she saw that he was like so sloshed
he couldn’t
keep his shit together and he was leaning back
and when he
closed his eyes and leaned his head back
she just moved in for the kill
she made the physical contact
and he didn’t know he thought it was the girl
and she had an arm on him
like this so he just responded to the physical contact
thinking that it was his hot waitress
next thing you know they’re
hung in each
other oh and you have it on
video too oh yeah i got it on
video somewhere
don’t fuck around son
we both have shit on each other
so he’s tongue in this
chick and then
he looks at
her and he looks at her and he goes like this
in the middle of it in the middle of it he goes
he looks at her
and then he just turns away
and she’s like
touching his face and everything
and just goes like this
i gotta go to the bathroom and you get
up and go to the bathroom and she got up and walk away
and you came back and go
did i make out with that old lady
and we were like
what the fuck was that about you
dude i thought it was the waitress
i totally thought it was the waitress
like oh why didn’t you stop me
we couldn’t stop you how the fuck were we
gonna stop you
she sat down next to you you lean towards her and
that bitch just
planned it perfectly
how many times has she
done that i don’t know but the next morning when i was
driving her back to her hotel
she never moved in
again right she realized that you realized that
she took off right after that was her thing you
freaked her out
because you freaked out and she was like
she was like what the fuck did i do
like she realized that she had
tricked some poor young man dude
this is how
gross it was that the
chair i was on at a
strip club was a cloth chair
and i wanted to scrape the taste off my tongue so i
started licking and dragging my tongue on the
chair of a strip club
to get the taste of her mouth off of my tongue
is that bad
why don’t you just use liquor
i don’t wash just like
oh you were so horrified
it was hilarious it didn’t even seem real
it seemed like you were punking us
like you were doing a
sketch like you would hire this actress
to come in to make out with you
just to freak us out i remember looking
at your guys’s faces and you were recording me for one
i’m like why are they recording me that’s kind of rude
but then you guys were all
freaking out and i’m like
i just remember then looking at her like backing up
alone look at her and just
what an awesome strategy on her part she
recognized that you were ripe for the taking
you know she like
she smelled blood in the
water and she just plopped herself right next to you
took great goddamn story
actually deleted it
you did yeah oh
you tell i told you i would delete it you you’re
freaking out dude whatever you have that in your
private no no no i don’t have my
i did flashlight
you you freaked out
you the next
day you like we please delete that i said i’ll delete
it don’t worry
i showed it to you though
i remember i
showed it to you and you really didn’t even
watch it you
watched it for a couple
seconds you went no
god i hate that
typed up and looked away
dude that’s the
worst feeling the next day when you wake up from
being drunk and you’re like oh
it is the worst feeling
slap on the forehead well how
about like eddie bravo when
he gets really hammered
there’s like a couple times a year like two or
three times a year
well he will not remember the night
he really does not know what happens
every time i was like
every week at least
i don’t know i don’t
think it’s every week that he gets out a lot dude
i don’t know how many times he
blacks out when
you ask him he says it’s a few times a year
i believe him
maybe sometimes he forgets he
blacks out yeah he
blacks out about the
black and out
the best eddie bravo
blackout story i told this in my blog
this is a total true story
it was like
eight o’clock in the morning
our car was picking us up at nine we were in germany
and i get up someone get some breakfast so i call
eddie to see if he wants to get some breakfast
and he goes what’s up
that’s how he answers the phone
i go what’s i go are you
drunk he goes oh yeah
it’s eight in the fucking morning he’s hammered
so i go okay dude i go our car is
gonna get us in like an hour are you
gonna be ready this dude i’m
ready i’m just gonna
power to i’m fine i’m ready
so i alright alright i’ll see you in an hour i’m
gonna get some breakfast
so i go and get some breakfast
hour goes by
i call him he’s not answering
i call his hotel room not answering
i i have someone go
knock on his
door not answering he’s not in his fucking room shit
and i’m like did he
never come home
did he get lost
what the fuck is happening
god damn it
so i’m calling him he’s not answering i go outside
and i said well let me just
throw my luggage
in the car so i say to the the valley guy
i go there’s a car here for rogan
and he goes
joe rogan and i go yeah that’s my
worst german accent ever
that was german
what is that what was that indian or something
jorgen jo rogan
i’m now colonel clank
anyway this fucking guy
he goes joe rogan he goes
joe rogan just left i go no no i’m joe rogan he goes
no a guy said he was joe rogan
and got in your limo and left
i said what does he look like
he goes long hair and
tattoos i’m like that motherfucker
cause i knew is eddie
right there’s not that many long haired
tattoo dudes in germany right so i go fuck
so i call him up and he answers the phone
i go what are you doing what’s up
i go what are you doing you’re in my fucking car what
and he’s looking at his watch and
he just sir
where are we right now and the driver says we’re on
way to the airport he goes
i guess we’re on way to the airport
come back and get me
he goes how
close are we
to the airport he goes five minutes he goes
dude i go how long you been in the car for
he had been in the car for an hour wow
it’s like an hour ride was he sleeping
when i got off the
phone with him at 8
00 in the morning
he went down there the car was already there
just told the guy he was me
got in the car
and woke up
like an hour into the
drive on the way to the airport
woke up without any memory of the
night whatsoever
woke up in the car
with his phone ringing
it literally oh my god old man
he literally had no idea what happened he
doesn’t remember a fucking thing
about the night wow
that’s crazy
how terrifying was that be
to have like some like just like
litter of behavior
around you and you don’t even know
what you did like you created all this problems and
cause all these people to get all fucking
angry at you and shit you don’t even know what happened
you were just shit faced
blacked out gone
and then he had
to get on a flight like a really long ass flight all
the way back home with that hangover it took
fucking 11 hours oh that’s in germany
being drunk and hungover on a
plane is probably the
worst thing ever
and i hate it so much
what is it though
cause you just sleep
what what’s
the big deal well is it harder is it really like do you
feel like you’re at a high altitude when you’re on a
plane obviously you’re at high altitude but the
cabinet is pressurized
is there the same amount of oxygen there is
if you’re at
high altitude obviously not because like when you’re at
thirty thousand feet that’s like
mount everest like
you could fucking die up there there’s no oxygen
so that’s a
stupid question
all right so there’s obviously way more oxygen than at
thirty thousand feet
that’s a dumb question i can’t believe i asked it
i blame the weed
but when you’re in a
plane does your hangover feel any worse
to me it always does
and it’s usually
of course i have acid reflex
and all this shit that’s fucking with me so maybe it’s
worse you got a gremlin in your asshole
sorry gremlin my belly
yeah there’s something about planes man
even if you sleep on a
plane even if you you know you go and you come back
there’s something about just getting up there
traveling and coming back that
leaves you feeling fucked up
you just definitely feel a little off
what is that what is a
plane do you i think it’s the change of
pressure the pressure
i mean is it just getting in this tube with
you know recycled oxygen and everybody’s breathing
their own air is that what it is i don’t
think it’s that
because i actually saw a report saying that those
that recycled air is some of the best air
and it’s actually just like an
old wise to
tell that it’s
bad for you that’s actually the filtering
system in those
planes are so amazing that’s
really so what
the fuck is it that makes you so
tired from flying
because that shit jacks
you dude there’s no getting around it it jacks you
what i always
like to do when i land somewhere if i have the time
i always have a hard workout one hard workout seems to
reset everything
but if you don’t have that hard workout man
you’re gonna be fucked up for a couple
of days it takes a couple of days to feel normal again
what is it mmm
it’s not good
you know i was talking
thinking about this the
other day and it’s kind of on subject but
about workouts
where you say like how you know
how you can’t even imagine like to me when
jimmy kimmel was talking about this the other day
when he gets done working out
he does not feel great
he feels awful he wants to go
sleep he feels sad
he hates it and stuff like that
but when you work out you have the
exact opposite feeling you feel like fuck yeah yeah
you know you’re fired up and
feel great and you feel great and like a natural
i am like jimmy kimmel though
like when i work out
i’m not happy i’m like miserable
after i work out well why do you
think that is there’ll be two reasons for that one
cause you’re out of
shape and working out as painful
and then recovery is even more painful
you know but even when i was
inner shape
better in shape
and that would work out i
never have a were you ever in really good shape
yeah really yeah
i’ve been in shape
a couple times in my life like pretty good
shape so were you working out and you feel
i was working out every day
you know six days a week five
days a week but when you’re working on like what kind
of exercise you doing how much exercise you doing like
45 minutes to an hour of cardio
and then like
10 to 15 minutes of
that was my prime was
45 minutes no
you like really fucking
sweating and heathen and oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
but i never
never enjoyed it and always hated it
after it was done you don’t have like
a runner’s high when it’s over no wow
see i was just wondering
cause like i’ve
heard you talk
about it before
and then kimmel was talking
about how it is the
exact opposite form and i’m like yeah
same with me well no
one can tell you how your
body works everybody’s body has its own different thing
you know everybody’s body
works differently at different
levels of efficiency
some people’s
bodies need extreme
amounts of exertion they need exercise
and mine could be because i grew up doing it
because you know my whole life
i mean there’s
never been a time in my life
except like in between
surgeries there’s
never been a time in my life
where i didn’t have some sort of extreme exertion
whether it’s kickboxing or jiu jitsu
or lifting weights or something or boxing for a while
everything was always just explosion always
there’s my body’s
always been forced to behave a certain way
and when your
body is forced to behave like that for over 20 years
you know it becomes accustomed
to it and when i take a few days off or i take
three or four days off
i have this
buildup of energy where
my body is used to producing a certain amount
of energy see
i don’t get any of that energy
zero that energy
i actually have the opposite like i
think it’s because hired 99
never really been in the kind of
shape that kind of shape like
explosive yeah
i think for me and and it’s different bio mechanics
or not biomechanics bio
bio rhythms rather
biochemistry different people need different
things out of life
some people need extreme exertion
some people just need a walk some people feel
great when they just walk up a hill
they just go for a little walk around
their neighborhood
and they feel refreshed they don’t need that
extreme physical
exertion me
i need to hit the bag
i need to do
jiu jitsu i need to do some
kettlebells i need to do it and when i do it it’s like
like i can be myself again
it’s like i blow it all out
and then i’m myself
but if i don’t it
builds up and if i
builds up for one day it’s tolerable two days
it’s a little less tolerable
three days a little
less and then by the time four or five days go by
where no workouts at all
i start getting very edgy
you know i feel
it like people are talking to me and they’re not
they’re not talking
quick enough
i’m like rude i’m like okay
okay okay i get it i get it i get it
because my patience
is gone i just have no patience it’s
weird caveman genes yeah
i’ve got way
too much caveman in me you know there was some sort of
study recently
that about people that have neanderthal
genetics and they have a certain percent
fucking for sure i do
right for sure
if there’s people out there that have neanderthal
genetics in
their system i’ve got some of that shit for sure
somewhere in my life somebody fucked an ape man
you know somewhere away
way back in my family’s
ancestry someone fucked
one of those little
crazy eight men
where i’m like a lesbian
trapped in a man’s body you are
very feminine
you’re very feminine but you like girls what’s that all
about i’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body
but you like fucking them i know i’m
lesbians like fucking chicks to
do they yeah do they put
strap ons on and just get sad
i would get fucking sad
if i was a chick and i wanted to be a dude and i’m
putting this rubber dick on i’m like how
great would it be if i really fucking had one
i could really just fuck the shit
out of you with my real dick instead of this rubber
thing i gotta
tie on and strap in
place and it wiggles and does it
but yes this
is scissoring
would probably feel good because you open sores rubbing
against each
other the most
sensitive part they want to get
stuffed they’re missing a hole
they’re missing something in the middle
they wanna get
stuffed dude
yeah but i mean you can
throw a fucking
dildo in there probably feels the same or bad i don’t
think so i don’t
think so i don’t think so
flashlights they feel pretty fucking good
i mean i don’t know how
lesbians vagina feels but i
think heterosexual
women desperately need to get stuffed
that’s why dudes desperately need to
stuff it in them and it just makes sense
what feels the best to you the
magical fucking promised land
to get your hard
super sensitive dick inside
that wet pussy and
that’s nature
that’s the great reward the
great reward is
this intense pleasure because that’s the way you make
babies so for a
woman the intense pleasure has got to come from getting
stuffed it’s the only
thing that makes sense
from getting a big fat dick to
shoot goo inside you
you know that’s what it is i mean
it’s a staple of our life and it’s this big
important part of our desires and our
motivation to do things but
really it’s just a
trick to make people
you know and that
trick has got to be set up correctly i mean
people have
been around for a fucking million years in this form
trick is good they
got it down and if it’s if it’s down they got it good
then that means
chicks must love
big fucking
dicks inside them and if they do then scissoring is not
gonna be enough it’s
gonna feel good it’ll feel good
but the reality is that pushing once
you get filled up it wants to get fucking stretched out
with cock son cock
ah you and looking at me and talking
about cock all day
long all day
try to make you uncomfortable son
try to make you uncomfortable
whoa damn what was that that’s me laughing
it was an earthquake we have much better sound now
so when i’m
laughing and
what used to not be annoying now would be annoying
this week we’re using
these microphones but next week we’re
gonna have some clip on jammies because this is
ridiculous you don’t want to be standing here
like a stand up comedian
i do kind of
like it though for the fact if i need to like
drink water or do something i
could go like this yeah
yeah maybe we
should just
leave it like this because
yeah we could totally do that
but i just don’t want
anything that
knocks around
as long as we have the headphones on that’s the move
because for
the longest time we were doing this and it just
look we’re a couple of retards and we
shoes string this shit together but now
it looks pretty killer we got
look we got a mixer
board and shit i’ll show you guys all this
stuff by the way the auto
focus is not
something that you can turn off
it isn’t it
doesn’t look like it
here we got all this shit here
we got a soundboard now connected to the
two laptops
connected to this
high level mp
three recorder jammy
and it’s all just mismatched in a fucking
sea of wires and that
all creates this podcast
hopefully that’ll be enough so now that we have the
sound issues out of the way eventually we’re
gonna have to deal with this goddamn
green screen
that’s step two
there’s a couple
different options to do it but all of them seem
super fucking complicated and a pain in the ass no i
think we just do a tv get a 3d tv we can
check shit out we can turn it on the problem is
things that do it
we couldn’t do it through this u
stream producer
if we’re gonna do it right
what the great
the caster the fucking
tricaster i
think you can does
it go through that i
think you can do it through that
so then we would have this entire the same
audio setup
i think it’s just way overkill to do a
tricaster through a you
stream producer though it just seems
weird well i don’t know
folks on twitter if anybody knows
give us a simple way
to do a green
screen if you know if anybody knows
throw me up
some message or
a link on twitter at joe rogan there’s got to be some
tech audio visual wizard out there that knows how
you stream involved
we should tell you
stream what’s the best hookup
i don’t think you
stream knows
now they stopped doing
those ads they have
these ads that
would pop up
every 30 seconds
remember there’s a
bunch of people they’re complaining
well it was
it wasn’t just an ad that popped up it was like
took over the
sound and audio and
that was ridiculous
who was it for was it
macy’s or something
like that macy’s
which why would
macy’s want to have anything
to do with me too because they have fucking i’m talking
about ghetto gaggers
you know did you hear
about that dildo that was discovered
28 000 year old dildo
did you hear
about that you know how did
they know though it was a dildo not just like an ear
cleaner or like a ear massager
how big is your fucking ear son
you know what i mean because it looks like a big
stone dick really and it’s
eight inches long
maybe that’s the preferred size
it was used for something else
what it was
it was used to
strike flint’s too
they had all
these marks on it from someone
striking flint’s
but that just
could have been the husband
like give me that fucking vibrator
give me your give me your dildo i need to make a fire
he got all angry and shit he was attacking the dick
you know it
could have been that
that’s the reason why he use it as a dual purpose
instrument but that’d be a
smart move to have you
know i mean if
you don’t want to have that many
stones laying around the cave you
know why not use it
for dual purposes
i was in portland and they had the
the biggest
wrecks with all the bones
the best collection
no t rex oh
t rex oh really i had the biggest
collection t rex
and it was like i forget how many like 70
real bone whoa
like the whole
thing was up
and it’s so
weird sitting there by that skull
of this dinosaur
and just thinking wow that used to be a fucking
monster you know that was a real
thing that’s so
weird that you’re allowed to
go up to it and
touch it and
see it i wonder how many
things existed that there are not fossils of
because one of the
things when you start
reading things
about fossils and about
archeologists and all
these different people trying to
dig up the past
is that it’s really difficult to make a fossil
like fossils don’t
just happen all the time like an animal has to get
trapped in mud
they have to die in
some sort of a landslide or something
they have to be somehow another preserved
which usually
doesn’t happen
usually when someone dies
they rot and
their bones get
eaten up by animals and their
tissue gets
eaten up by animals and bacteria and then they’re gone
they dissolve
how many fucking
things existed that aren’t in the fossil record
you know probably
the majority
probably the
majority you really think so
i would imagine
you would think though
that species around for millions and millions of years
right most of
them you know they’re around for a long period of time
and then eventually they
die off and before they die off for whatever reason
we’ve had a plenty of opportunity for at
least a few of them to get
stuck places
right right
we know so little it’s so
crazy that we try to reproduce the past
or figure out what happened in the past
by studying what was left behind it’s like a giant
crazy puzzle
wouldn’t it be more wouldn’t it be incredible and
maybe this would be possible someday
if they figure out
say if they make a model
of the earth
they know what
existed as far as
if you could do a core
sample of the earth
you can determine what
the temperature
was like what the environment was like what animals and
plants existed
and what if they
could put all this data into a computer
what if they
could put core
samples and what we know
about climonological change on the ship
put it into a computer with
all the known animals that
exist today
and literally
run a computer program that goes backwards in evolution
and takes us to what existed
tens of thousands of years ago 100
000 years ago a million years ago 10 million years ago
and you have to account for known
asteroid impacts
known craters
known things that probably
wiped out almost
everything they’re
going to get to a
point in time
scientifically technologically
where they are
literally able to recreate the past with a computer
totally what the fuck son
what kind of crazy
world we live in they won’t see it will be dead
you think so yeah
i don’t think
so i’m not that confident
we might see the beginning i
think we’re
gonna see some
crazy shit dude i
think you with your bloody butthole you
might not me i’m
gonna live to be a couple more decades for sure
i got a few decades
sylvester stallone
is 62 years old looks like
a fucking he’s a stud yeah
if he’s alive
he’s alive i’m not
gonna last till next pellet to cast you know
when do you
think when you
think you’re gonna go
sunday sunday
don’t say that i’m
gonna miss you oh whatever
don’t die i’ll be reborn in your new child wow
that’s creepy
really creepy because i’m
about to have a new
child you don’t even know
if brian died tomorrow and my daughter
woke up or came out of the
pussy and looked at me like this
i went hey make out with me in the
strip club yeah and
started saying
things like that
brian says like
first words like shit
brian says all the time don’t lie
we find a way to do it
don’t come back as my
child that would be just rude
be rude let my wife suck
sucking on my wife’s tits
that’s creepy
fucking weirdo
why would you want to come back as a baby
a baby girl
start this party
it’ll be gross can
man just coming back as a baby girl
and you have the mind of a man
34 year old man
trapped in a baby girl
has fake dicks
oh brian oh
brian with your fake TikTok
let’s go to the chat see
if there’s anything interesting that anybody has to say
i’m gonna urinate
you now this is this is what’s
wrong with the internet
what’s for me link
what the fuck is that guy saying
if you survive the next 30 years
you could possibly immortal
through cell regeneration yeah that is possible or
it might even be weirder
the ray kurzweil
idea is that we’re
going to be
able to download consciousness into a computer
that’s a very possible idea
you know if they can
figure out a way to make some sort of a reproduction of
the human mind
like some sort of a computer that
actually whether it’s a software or a hardware issue
where you reproduce all the functions of a
human brain and then
somehow or another
download consciousness into that computer you could
use that and replicate
it and you could
literally exist in a
bunch of different fucking computers
that would be very strange
if it was all happening like
say if you downloaded your consciousness into computers
but your consciousness was
still attached to
those computers
so instead of
you being able to
live a different life inside this computer what if like
that life is
going on at the same time i can echo in your head and
everything you do is like
doubled and tripled and it’s like
you go fucking
crazy because your consciousness is in a
bunch of different computers and all
these different things are
going on at the same time but it’s all inside your head
and you can’t fucking get away and you ruined it
so you gotta find the computers that
have your consciousness in it and fucking kill them
just to stop the madness in your head
cause there’s a fucking crazy echo
cause you’re living a thousand
different lives all at once inside fucking computers
my dick smell like
pussy i forgot to take a shower this morning was ew
it is awesome how bad
is it good is it smell good
i love that pussy’s not supposed to
its pussy has two smiles none are awful
you’re not supposed to smell
pussy just that slight pussy
where you had slight pussy yeah
i think you’re thinking that it’s a
slight pussy but really it’s your dead loads
that’s what i think it is i think you’re getting all
excited smelling your own loads
that’s what it is it’s your own lows are
trapped in your underwear
you might be right i think that’s what it is man
probably my butthole i smell ew
these rampaid
versus rashad
who’s gonna win
listen ladies and gentlemen i’m never
never gonna answer
i don’t know who the fuck is
gonna win that’s why they’re fighting man
that’s the whole deal
i’m not doing comedy
when i’m coming to
vancouver this time because i was supposed to the red
robinson theater but
apparently they have some
sort of a corporate
thing that they booked out for
three days in a row and they can’t cancel it and
that’s the only time i’m
going to be there
and they didn’t
want me doing another club because i always do
their club i sort of have an agreement
is a big theater
so this time i’m not
gonna be doing shit so i’m
gonna go find bad
bobby i’m gonna go eat
steak like men
he’s showing around vancouver
all right other questions here see talk
about ovreme
you don’t even know ovreme is
you only follow
ufc right you didn’t see the
strike force on showtime
you poor fool you missed out on
everything i don’t have showtime dude
alstar over him
is a motherfucker he beat the shit out of brett
rogers brett
rogers that guy that fought fade or last
you don’t care
don’t give a fuck i care
about some things
not that not that
fight bumper
sticker idea real catholics fuck kids
wow okay fella
boy there’s a lot of bad questions here in this chat
do you know mark emory is
you know that guy’s they’re
extraditing him or have
extradited him to america he’s gonna
spent five years in jail
for selling seeds seeds that make people
happy pot seeds
meanwhile his own country
not only the not prosecuting him he was
roaming the streets free
you know he was fine in his own country he was fine
and they’re
extraditing him
because they know
they’re saying he’s responsible for millions dollars
of sales of seeds here in america and you know he’s
ran a drug empire
by selling these seeds you know what i pretty fucked
up yeah it’s fucked up but you know i don’t feel bad
about because that’s the risk you
take when you have to do shit like selling seeds and
stuff like that you know what i mean
you don’t feel bad
i mean i feel
bad but also like if i was selling marijuana seeds i
would know that hey there’s a
slight chance that i
could be fucked somehow but in his country there’s not
in his country it’s totally
legal the problem he was
shipping them to america
if he never ship them
to america and just sold them in canada he’d be golden
sounds like he’s dumb for canada they don’t give a fuck
i mean they do when they have
to they deal with shit but the reality is like it’s
like it’s not really
legal in vancouver but it’s
legal i mean
they tolerate it they just let it happen they had
smoke shops and shit
just like amsterdam up there
where you could just go and
smoke weed and this
motherfucker was just out
in the open with it and selling
seeds to america
and now they’re
extraditing him he’s
gonna have to do five years in jail and he’s not a
young man that’s
a long ass fucking time to be locked in a cage
for a plant that makes you
silly you know
the fact that that’s
still even debated in
2010 that would be wasting any resources at all
anyone for pot
i mean even a little bit even if
you know they’re saying he
broke the law so what the law is fucking
stupid it’s a dumb fucking law the law is
stupid but he knew what he was doing
so what it doesn’t matter the laws
dumb it’s a
terrible then
do it yes but no he
should be able to do it i
know he shouldn’t
be able to put a guy in jail for that that’s ridiculous
that in 2010
we got so many
so many fucked up hypocritical situations in our
culture how
about gambling how
about the fact
that dudes are getting busted having poker games
you know that
people are getting busted like they’re
breaking open
private poker games and cops are coming and taking
money and shit
i’ve read a
bunch of stories
about shit like this happening
where people are getting in trouble
for gambling
playing poker with
their own money
i mean that’s one of the reasons why you have to go to
these goddamn
indian not that there’s anything
wrong with any casino
but you have to go to indian casinos you can’t have one
you can’t have a casino
like down the
street from your house like
it has to be in certain places
and you only play certain games in them you know
i mean there’s
a lot of them in
california and there’s
bellflower and there’s a few
but in most parts
of the country it’s very difficult to find casinos
and you can’t play poker online because it’s illegal
so if you want to play online
you have to go through like a
third party
and it’s like you have to like send your
money to some
place it’s fucking all
cryptic and
weird and you don’t know what the fuck is happening
and it’s all probably illegal anyway if you got in
trouble for doing
it the way you’re doing it even if you do it through a
third party
you could probably
get some sort of a
fine or something for it i mean i don’t know what they
could do to you
but it’s illegal you
know but meanwhile the government has a fucking lottery
i mean the lottery is the
worst odds available ever for gambling
you ever be
stuck behind someone who’s a lottery addict
some poor fucking lady was in
front of me the
other day at the gas station and
i’m getting a gatorade
with my gas
it was gatorade
themed day notice that you had some
gatorade and i had some
gatorade again a
gatorade and this poor lady
orders like 10 of
these things
and she’s furiously scratching at
these tickets
you’re like this lady’s
addicted man
look at her she’s
playing the
worst odds ever
she’s bought
10 tickets what are the odds that any of them are
going to be any good
pretty fucking low have you ever won anything from
those before
no i’ve won like 10
bucks i want a free
ticket once i played
the lottery i won
a free ticket
i played that free
ticket i lost i was done
that was it
never played
again but the
the fucking
the odds are
astronomical and the you know the the hook is
that if you do win it’s so much money
oh my god you could
do a dollar a dollar a dollar for a hundred days
then all of a
sudden you win five thousand dollars whoa
and they put a hundred dollar investment in but it was
worth it and then once you get that one
five thousand dollar hit you like oh you get addicted
coming to win the
super fucking
powerball jackpot
four hundred million dollars be set for life
you know so the government
is the the biggest fucking dealer when it comes to
addicted gamblers
you know the government’s dishing it out you can you
could you could gamble lottery in
every fucking
state probably right
is your state
where you can’t gamble
a state where you can’t go to the lottery i don’t
think so how
about the goddamn
stock market that’s a fucking gamble
that’s a gamble and it’s legal
why can’t you fucking play poker
it’s ridiculous
we live in a goddamn
nanny state
it’s a nanny
state brian mmm
so you think you’re gonna die
okay you look like shit it’s getting worse
is it i don’t know if it’s just because i haven’t
eaten in 20 you haven’t eaten in a long time man
this is a low energy show and that’s why
this guy won 500
and got a new flat screen tv
well congratulations quit now and you’re way
ahead that’s a good move
taxes taxes taxes
yeah but here’s the problem with the idea of
taxes taxes taxes when it comes to poker
just make people pay
taxes just like strippers have to pay taxes
they’re not always right
you know i mean you know you just
make people fucking
make them accountable you know if you really want
the whole tax situation is
pretty disgusting as it is you know
especially if you’re in a forty
eight percent tax bracket like a lot of people are
it’s gross the government should
never get half your
money that’s fucking completely ridiculous
you make a hundred bucks they get fifty or forty eight
bucks that’s stupid
that doesn’t make any goddamn
sense and you got to protect yourself
set up a bunch of different shit
so that they’d only take a small slice out of your pie
you know you gotta move to nevada or
open a corporation or do a bunch of different
stupid things so that you can have
less money out there that they get to
steal from you you know
or you just
taking an ass like me and just give them all the
money that you got audited you got
audited like a
motherfucker what happened son
to make a video
about the irs no
and it sucks
they’re gonna audit me
again this year
well you did it because you used one of
those programs and you
tried to take a lot of different
things off right
turbotax and then i used
home office and
blah blah blah and then
they just don’t
like it when you have a home office i guess
they don’t like it when you have a lot of exemptions
is that what it is well i
would like write off like you know
like electricity
write off like gas and you
know driving
because it’s a home office yeah and
stuff like that you know whenever i buy batteries and
stupid stuff like that right but
i thought it
might cause i buy
everything online so
what i was thinking is like oh
i have receipts for
everything as i use credit cards and i buy online well
visa and mascot and all
these guys decided to hey we’re not
going to save all your
stuff we only
saved the last year
so they changed it
where it used to be like
you could go back
i was able to go back like
three years and
check out my
statements like
three years ago
but they stopped
it so now it’s only one year so i just lost
all my receipts
so then when so you
never kept anything in hard form
everything was
online yeah so i got kind of got fucked by that
i wonder if
they did there in cahoots that’s what i’m saying
the irs like
contacts mastercard
says listen you don’t have to keep that shit
twelve year
twelve months that’s enough dude
you don’t have to hold shit for ten
twelve years fuck them
they should have fucking they
should have files it’s not your responsibility
i agree it’s
not ours i mean we’re just providing the service and
yeah man fuck them fuck the records burn that shit
what are they running out of hard drive
space over a bank of america
that’s ridiculous
twelve kilobyte
file you cunt
fuck you fucking in bed cunts
the irs in itself is supposedly illegal
and all these
wacky people that don’t
think you should pay taxes
good luck with that
where the fuck does the
money go that’s the
crazy thing when you really look at
taxes there’s no
there’s no receipt
it’s no like hey mr johnson you
spent thirty thousand dollars in
taxes this year and this is what
we did with your money
we you know spent this
x amount on your
your local middle
school and x amount on this and
you know x amount went to that no
you don’t get a fucking receipt they’re not accountable
that’s the problem
that’s why when you hear
about like crazy
no bid you know
contracts and you know that they’re in bed with
these fucking
halburton and all
these different companies that are
getting these
crazy fucking contracts and then
money winds up missing and it’s like
they can’t account for
billions of dollars and it’s this is mad
cluster fuck of
money and a big grab
like who is
stealing when it comes to this like bank
thing this whole bank bailout thing
when you look at the
money and you
talk about seven hundred billion dollars and all this
money flying left and
right and people
still getting
bonuses and
is there is it really
they have an accounting
system for all this
i mean can we really tell like
where your tax
dollars went to this bailout and how it was used
they don’t even have to fucking tell you
they don’t even have to tell you
but yet if you file a tax report
motherfucker you better have receipts for everything
you better have receipts for
every goddamn
thing you want an exemption for
but when you ask
them like what did you do with all my tax dollars what
you used it to get
these bankers
wait a minute
these bankers set it up do you know that they were
shorting they
were making sure that they were protected on both ends
they were selling clients a certain
stock and then
gambling that that
stock was gonna fail
you should probably not talk
about the irs
too i should probably be
quiet right
it’s amazing
duncan trussell to give me the best advice don’t talk
about the ir look
it is i’m talking
about the whole
system man man man man
it’s incredible that it’s set up that way and that
politicians don’t do a goddamn
thing to change it
obama was swearing before he got into office
that he was
going to end no
bid contracts and he just gave
the former company
known as halibut and i
guess they changed
their name to something else but he just gave them some
500 million dollar no
bid deal exactly what he said he
wouldn’t do
that motherfucker
we’re up to two
hours and ten minutes joe well that’s what
brian is saying
that his vagina is hurting his buttholes
bleeding and he’s a
tired man everybody
saying wake up people are saying wake up red van
it’s not dying
wake up people are sad
50 goes to the military does it really who the fuck
knows does anybody know what the actual numbers are of
money going to the military
all right let’s take a couple questions we’ll go to the
board see if anybody has anything interesting to say
and this is a tron hoodie by the way
is it yeah i mean the movie tron look at you
you really are fucking nerd huh
you’re for real so a lot of dudes fake and nerd them
right yeah i’m real nerd
stone cold steve austin and
bruce buffer we’re on sure dog
radio today whoa
good times good times
ladies and gentlemen
i think we went
through the entire broadcast without me saying bananas
i said it i
tried to say like as little as possible as well
cause like that’s
annoying like man
is the feed usually
choppy how many people are on this
stupid thing
a thousand people
that’s all we ever get that’s
what we’re good for we’re good for a thousand people
other than that people are
going to bail out eventually
these guys are just don’t even have anything
planned they’re just reading questions now
it’s been going on for two hours
this guy says
oh he’s quoting me
twice in my life i’ve developed blisters
on my dick from jacking it my suspicions are confirmed
there are others
what does that mean
other suspicions
just trying to say
what do i think about e
cigarettes i
think the chemical they use for the smoke
dries out your throat
and causes your
throat to get fucked up
does it yeah i mean i was spitting up
blood from using e
cigarettes so
but that’s you dude
you had a weak cut but
if you google it the chemical
that they use for it is the same shit they use in
it’s an fda
approved chemical but it’s used to make fog in
nightclubs and one of the
things it does is dries out
your throat
and my shit
started getting jacked up and i was spitting
blood i was like fuck this i’d rather
smoke a cigarette
than this nonsense
really yeah so
so they’re not good but don’t they they help you quit
because they know what
you quit just
just fucking get
patch that’s helps me quit
did it yeah and
wear it one day two days i’m good
two days is all it took
now you were smoking for a
while before this new
girlfriend you had
the old girlfriend mm hmm
you wanna talk
about that no okay
i don’t mean
about your situation i mean she smoked right yeah
now i live with somebody that doesn’t
smoke so it’s easier
hmm but yeah when you live with somebody that
smokes it’s
impossible to stop smoking when that
other person’s smoking
yeah i could imagine
you know if
i get addicted to certain
things like for a
while i was addicted to
cleaning out my ears with q tips
i fucking love it feels so good
to get in there
sardines i was
but i wasn’t really addicted to sardines
but the q tips man it’s
hard for me to walk by a box of q tips and not want to
stick one of my ear
you know but if you live with someone they’re all
cleaning their ear making moaning
noises like mmm
then it makes it even harder you know
like i’m trying not to fucking
my doctor told me not to be
sticking shit in my ear i’m trying to do the
right thing
and you over here
digging in your ear moan and ahhh
one time for real though i did put
two q tips in my ear at the same time and i took a shit
wow it was the best feeling ever
it was one of the best feelings ever
my ex had one in her ear and then she answered the
phone and she went like this
oh my god q tip shoved into her ear and
pierced her eardrum and
blood well she’s retarded
yeah that’s a dumb thing to do
but yeah i could feel it
that’s painful
ooh puncturing your eardrum i’ve heard of dudes getting
their eardrum punctured in fights
ruptured you know from getting head kicked or
punched in the head and punched in the ear
you know your ear ruptures and then
you can’t hear out of your ear and it’s got to heal up
and they sometimes have to do surgery on people’s ears
guys have fucking ear problems from
jiu jitsu too like that
cauliflower ear barf
sometimes it actually goes
the bleeding and the
swelling goes
inside the ear and the inside ear can get infected
this dude dave tyrrell
guy fought for the
ufc for a while
and he’s a very
very accomplished grappler
he’s had like some serious problems with his ears
where he’s actually had to get his ears
cut off of his head
they actually had it like peel his ears back
fix whatever
the fuck was in and then sew them back on his head
yo barf yo that
things like that make me not want to
stick a q tip in my ear
but i couldn’t imagine if
you know i had a
cigarette thing
if i had a cigarette
thing and i
was living with someone who’s smoking all the time
especially when they’re stressed out
and they fucking fire that
cigarette up
and you see the relaxation come across
their face i’ve seen it with you dude
i’ve seen does he talk about it on your face
really really wow
i’ve seen that look on your face many times
where you’ve been freaking out
someone’s been driving you crazy and you
and you take that
god it sounds delicious right now
and i see the relaxation just the calmness
wash over you
what an evil trick
and you know what the calmness actually is
it’s actually just satisfying that
monkey on your back that’s really all it is
it’s not like
cigarettes make you calm
it’s that the lack of
cigarettes makes you tense
and when you get that cigarette in your
system then you become calm like what a terrible trick
like it’s so goddamn addictive we’re not talking
about something
that’s so addictive you have to do it once a week
you know that’s
addictive you know some people are addicted to certain
things and they have to do them like once a day
we’re talking
about every 15 20 fucking minutes man
that’s crazy that’s
crazy it’s like twirling your hair
it’s nuts that it’s so popular
how many people in america
smoke cigarettes like 40
it’s a big fucking number
and not a single politician ever says a goddamn thing
about stopping it
whatever do what you gotta do
ladies and gentlemen that’s my that’s my advice to you
next gig i don’t have
anything coming up to be honest with you in america
my next gigs are
june 17th in saskatoon
canada june 18th at
grand prairie
alberta and june 19th in winnipeg
so those are
those are my next comedy gigs
and then the next one the next big one in america is
well in june i’m at the the improv
irvine but brian
doesn’t have that up on my calendar it’s on
the eastern
counters not been a
fucking you
stream calendar updated
son but that’s
towards the end of june i’m at the
irvine improv
i remember twenty something something something
and then july
second i’m at the
house of blues in las vegas
if you want to find out the actual full
schedule you
can go to joe rogan dot net and get it there
they found a hole in
space this guy says
what are you talking about son
you can’t just say
things like that in capital letters they
found a hole in space
do you mean a
floating vagina
what do you mean
is it a monster butthole
why do you need to wear headsets
why do you care
why do you care if i wear headsets sir what’s
wrong with you
what is this hole in space sir
can i google hole in space
and will you will you be vindicated
or will it be some fucking snopes debunked article
where there really isn’t a hole in space
huge hole found in the universe
2007 well things take a while to get to this guy
maybe he’s in ohio
the universe has a huge hole in it that
dwarfs everything
anything else
of its kind
the discovery caught astronomers by surprise the hole
is nearly a billion
light years across
it’s not a black hole
which a small
sphere of densely
packed matter rather
fuck that old news look at that what
san diego huge
earthquake just hit
really that
maybe a five
point something it looks like that’s not huge faggot
five point that’s nothing
that’s the cow
is that the
california nevada
font line yeah exactly
where i was telling you
last time how it was just a million look at all these
earthquakes so don’t move to san diego no
fuck san diego whoa
that is pretty nutty
they say the pacific
northwest is due too they were talking
about that in some
paper i read
about oregon
that oregon’s due for another fucking gigantic
blast anyway there’s a fucking hole in the universe sun
the universe is
populated with
visible stars gas and dust
but most of the matter in the universe
is invisible scientists know something is there
because they can measure the gravitational
effects of the so called dark matter
voids exist
but they are
typically relatively small
this fucking void this
gargantuan hole
was found by examining
observations made by
using the very
large array the vla telescope in chile
funded by the national science
foundation yeah there’s there’s some shit out there
folks there’s
so much more shit out there
then we have
mapped out and understand
it’s one of the reasons why we tune into fox news
it’s one of the reasons why we’re fascinated by who
tiger woods
is fucking because the universe itself is too
scary and too much of a just
gigantic reminder
that we ain’t shit
and with that note
ladies and gentlemen
thank you very much for
tuning into the podcast
fleshlight com
yeah go there and buy something and fuck it it’s
way better than your hand and i don’t
think it’s that expensive
how much are
those things like
69 79 bucks is that really all it is
yeah it’s worth it totally if you
think about how much money you
spend on dates
with girls that
you don’t like hoping that you can fuck them
when you could save that
and you can reuse that
flashlight over and over and over
again it’s people who
go to clean it it’s
really not that hard no no you just hook it up to that
put up to the faucet turn the faucet on your come
squirts out
squirts out the back
no problem it’s
not hard at all and then you get like a little
squeegee in there and
ram it and or just like
how’s the book coming the book is coming good
it’s it’s it’s doing very well it’s
it’s weird and it’s
taken a long time it takes a long time to
write to actually
write something out
it would have been probably way easier if i
tried to transcribe it and just talk
but use like maybe a
dictation program or something like that but i don’t
think it’ll be as good
i think it’s better
it’s a slow process to
write things out but when you do just write
things out you’re forced to edit them you’re forced to
go over them again and see the poetry of
of each sentence
it’s much much better for reading i
think if you actually
write it out if you actually just talk it
sometimes you’re you know
it’s not going to be as smooth
as if you’ve reviewed it
it won’t be done
it’s due in october that’s when it’s due
takes a long time to these fucking things
a lot longer than i thought blogs are easy you know i
put a blog up the most it’s like 2 000 words that’s a
giant one you know and that takes like six or
seven hours but
it doesn’t matter because no one’s paying me to do it
i do my best i do what i
think it is and i throw it up there whereas
this i’m trying to put more
attention and focus to
so that’s it
you know my twitter it’s joe rogan
you know my
website joerogane net
and i told you
about the upcoming dates in june
in canada and in the irvine improv and then july
second in las
vegas at the house of blues will be a fucking party
looks like sam tripley is doing that with me
should be fucking
crazy sam tripoli if you’ve never seen him hilarious
very funny guy
shout out to maddie kersch alright
folks that’s it for this week we will see you next week
same bat time same
bat channel it’s almost always around the same time
which is 3 p m pacific
thank you very much