Joe sits down with Brian Redban.

it’s happening right now bitches says off air though look
hmm this says off air
oh well you have to refresh that screen
all right here we go
we’re live bitches it’s me and batman we got batman with me
so don’t fuck around
this is a some new show everybody what this is this is some new
jacket that you can get that allows you to also
be a robber you can be a bank robber
and you don’t even have to wear a ski mask and look suspicious
you just this is like a mask that comes with this fucking
this thing
show everybody
okay show everybody
how dump is that
it turns into the hood it’s a hood but it’s a mask
so in these hard economic times
why is this
is there another version
this is the girl that died that snored that giant lion
i don’t really know she died but people
internet were saying she died
all right
what’s up bitches
how’s everybody doing
we got two things going on here we got this
twitter thing
where you can
if you twitter
your questions we’ll answer your questions for that or
if you go to my website which is
forums dot joerogan net
people ask him about your done ass fucking questions
god damn i deserve fella yeah i hate that
all right what’s happening fuckers what’s going on
give me some questions
some good ones
how many bong hits tonight we haven’t taken any bong hits
we’ve only
used a little little pipe at some of the gaming
no bong hits bitches
bong hits for jesus
is that alex jones
the microphone
in the lab see that yeah
it’s not really alex though he doesn’t do it
somebody does it for him well
i don’t know who’s doing it they’re doing a really good job
getting out the information he imagine what his
christmas dinner was like he had
charlie sheen to talk about he had terrorism to talk about
how somehow they connected with each other
yeah he’ll probably have something well
charlie didn’t do anything who probably
it’s the government
doesn’t want charlie out there talking about nine eleven
i’m half joey diaz half out
he knows that
that’s i’m too high
laser gentlemen i’m too high to be doing this show
this is ridiculous
it’s the weed that they have here in california is just
too goddamn strong ladies and gentlemen it’s medical
you can just buy it from a fucking store
shit is outrageous
and that’s train wreck
that’s like one of the best ones you can get
i don’t like how you guys are looking down at me
makes me uncomfortable
i wish we were looking eye to eye on the same level
i’m gonna have to set this up
so that we’re looking eye to eye
feels weird looking up at that thing i need a smaller
monitor i can trade it
you’re so nice
questions question
questions let’s go to the rogan board we’re gonna go to
to forums jobrogan net to the official twelve twenty nine
used stream podcast thread where the questions are not limited
to a gay hundred and forty characters actually
it’s ridiculous
do you think there will be one world government in our life or
do you think it would actually affect this
i think that’s possible
it’s very possible if they can get the money sorted out
between all these fucking scumbags that run these
world governments yeah
they would all agree to one gigantic system of government
the problem with one gigantic system
of government is though even
though it would be harder for corruption
it would be it’s also
harder to keep people in line because you have to have enemies
you have to have like you know
the turks hate the fucking iranians hate the this hate of that
if you don’t have that conflict
it’s very difficult to keep people in line
you know and if we were all the united states of america
then we started arguing about money
we started arguing about taxes we start arguing
even if we’re all one thing
it makes it very difficult to do
but as far as like giant international banks
they might already be in cahoots or close
enough to one world government i mean there might be a few
that are really pulling the strings and running things
but i mean
it’ll be cool as the future of the government was just
the internet so if your time you wanted to vote
it was just like going on a message board and voting like hey
so we have legal insurance vote now yeah
that would be pretty that would be like for the people by then
people would hack it
yeah you know
it’s all good on paper but
you know anything that you do on the internet now
like dudes you play poker
you don’t even know if you’re playing poker against a real dude
you know you could easily be playing poking as a computer right
i mean i don’t know what kind of programs they run
but it seems to me like at this point time
people can hack just about anything
thinking i mean
there’s programs like
that’s the problem
with these drones they have you heard about this
those drones
kids are hacking into the drones like the airplanes this
drones i check the borders and stuff yeah well
they don’t just check borders they launch missiles right
they have these fucking things
these drones that shoot these things called hellfire missiles
and they use them in pakistan
and all these places we’re not really supposed to be
and they just fly in and jack people well
the insurgents have figured out how to hack the code and
actually view the monitor it’s crazy shit man
speaking of crazy shit i really do have to take a shit
we plan this out best
i’m gonna take a shit and brian’s gonna answer
questions and that’s a twenty nine dollar program
that that they use just to hack our videos
there is a toilet in his office
what is your opinion
let’s go get it back to twitter
joe doesn’t make the extract listerine packages it’s actually
one of the products that’s sold here in california when you
have a medical marijuana license
you can go to a store
and they sell the listerine
at the store like looks like listerine strips
so now he doesn’t make him himself
joe has not seen avatar yet we’re the last two people to
see avatar and we’re supposed to see it this week
it’s pretty annoying not
being the last one to see it
underwear bomber was staged any thoughts
that dude from the airplane
the government man
the government
i think he’s just a retard yeah
joe just thinks he’s a retard
i think it shows you how fragile our system is
that one guy to do one stupid thing and the whole world
grinds to a halt and security takes five hours now
you guys probably didn’t hear that
but he thinks it’s pretty ridiculous how
one guy did all of that
and that’s how bad our security is and now
shit’s all fucked up from that one dude
joe is not we’re not reading the chat on you stream
joe is only doing the twitter
so if you want to have a message
joe answered if you put on twitter or joe rogan’s website
which is forums
joe rogan net he’s taking a
shit right now so you’ll be right back
it’s the coffee sorry it’s the starbucks coffee
let’s go back to the
all right i’m gonna go read some messages on joe’s website
forums jorogan net
joe would be right back
let’s go
almost three hundred
yeah i have the dark vader
mark echo sweatshirt also
but yeah that boba fettle is pretty sweet
i have realized though it’s pretty gay when you’re by yourself
and not with friends with these sweatshirts
there’s the boba fat one
where’s oh sweet
yeah you know
i think mark layman had one of those in the war to the ufc
mark layman is a he’s a comic book nerd and a and a
tradition free
teaches a lot of guys who fight
world teaches i’m jijitsu
and he’s he’s a big video game junkie and
he had a bubble fella on it’s pretty dope
pretty dope
all right
questions from the twitter world is my twitter tweet deck
i couldn’t get to refresh it
and i think it’s the api thing again so you might want to close
that and use the u stream one only okay
see it’s not closed yet just shut off i don’t forget that
all right twitter on news drink
let’s go with the questions here bitches
what am i back in ireland
i’m not gonna be back in ireland
until the ufc’s back in ireland
it’s not
financially feasible for me to make those trips without the ufc
to the uk but every time i’m there
if there’s a show if we’re gonna
if we’re doing the ufc in ireland for sure
i’ll be doing stay on comedy there
they could hear the flesh they could hear me
did you hear me take it down
it was so strong i couldn’t resist it i knew i had to go
i didn’t want to
i wanted to i wanted to be able to just man up and
push through the whole
u stream but i was like i’m gonna do a bad job
because i’m gonna just be thinking about this dump
i have to take
so what we were talking about before
i took off because it was kind of important stuff
i think the one wrote thing is the last thing you talked oh
that was the first question one world government our lifetimes
i don’t know man i used to
i had a lot more faith before
obama got alerted i’ll tell you that
i thought that maybe what we had was a corrupt situation
and you know that bush and cheney were corrupt in that
if we got somebody else in there
maybe they could straighten everything out
but after obama got elected man
it became pretty clear to me that someone
else besides the president obviously is pulling the strings
obama didn’t want to
send more troops obama didn’t want to go to afghanistan
to bring more people to afghanistan he wanted to
pull out a guantanamo bay
and close guantanamo bay down all that shit
it’s not i don’t think he gets to say what the fuck they do or
he was just saying that kind of shit to get elected
you know i mean
the old bill hicks joke comes to mind
you know that american politics is
you know i like the puppet on the right well
i find the puppet to the left to be more at a lot my liking
hey wait a minute there’s one guy’s holding both puppets
i think it’s right what are you doing oh
it’s not doing anything
i’m just i know
but you’re just tracking the shit out of me i just
you can pick up clothes in the screen moving shit around
fucking psycho
he’s a tweaker
but not like the meth kind like yesterday
come on let’s optimize my internet
he’s the kind of dude he
hacks into his registry to make his internet
like one kbh faster
you’re one of those dudes right
you remember when computers first came out and
i had the friend
that said that he could hack into the library and like
get rid of all the doofies
and stuff like that i was wondering if that was real
if he was just pointing my lego
well definitely
there were some systems that you could hack into
if you were a wizard
you know isn’t that what
well mitnick did a lot of shit with like phone calls right
didn’t he like get information from people
yeah like it wasn’t even that he was like this great hacker
it was just he was kind of like a con man
by the way did you read that they
hacked the like the twenty one year old code
that scrambles our phone calls on cell phones so now
and the guys
the hackers put it on the internet so anyone could have it
so now i mean of course
it’s probably not gonna happen to us anytime soon but
now there’s actually
people that have the code to that they can listen to your phone
listen to your phone calls holy shit
but the twenty one year old code like a sixty four bit code
i think that’s where the world is headed to
i think that’s where
i think that’s the future
the future is there’s not going to be any private information
i think what we’re seeing with like this tiger woods thing
i think we’re seeing the future of things to come
i mean with him it’s obviously that he’s a celebrity
and it’s
but the way that everybody is swarming after this information
me too man i can’t fucking put down on us weekly
if i seen us weekly at the market
and there’s some new tiger ones information
i grab that i can’t fucking help it
you know well
i think eventually
there’s not going to be any secrets i think eventually
we’re going to get to a point
where the way information
is being distributed it’s changing the way
we feel about information
i mean it’s a weird
with celebrities it’s one thing you know we’re looking at it
like well these are famous people
and you know it’s like they give up that right
once once you start
you know put yourself in the public eye
you give up that right to privacy well
eventually that’s gonna happen
like it’s happening with facebook accounts too like
girls are doing stupid shit
and their facebook accounts and it gets all the internet
and they go well
you know she gave up her right when she put it on facebook
it’s like that new google goggles
where you can just take a photo of anything
and it
figures out what it is and then searches it for you
so you can now
like go to a like
if you see like a can of pop right
you can take a picture of it and knows what it is
google is it but you can it’s starting to get where you can
they’re going to do it
where you can do
flowers and plants and anything so pretty soon
everything’s going to be google searched so
there is no privacy so while i’m here i could
you know what i mean like
yeah yeah i mean eventually
i’m sure that shit is gonna make its way into your house well
it’s already is google goggles came out on the hand droid no
but i mean i mean you’ll be able to search someone’s house oh
yeah take a photo and you’ll be able to go oh
this guy lives at ninety seven woodcrest road right people
alomia five years ago you put a picture on your facebook
a christmas photo that has like your bookshelf
in the background
present day that’s gonna
start researching every single book that’s on your shelf
and it’s gonna put in a database somewhere in a gps location
you know what
i mean so like when you’re searching for something
you could be like oh
joe has that book at home
i think what’s happening i think what’s happening with twitter
and what’s happening with facebook
and what’s happening with the
just the internet in general is there’s way
connectivity between all human beings and a part of that is
access to information
so that information is not going to be like it is now
it’s not going to be private i think no do you
i think eventually
technology will come to the point where
lying will be absolutely impossible
and you will know everything that everybody else knows
and everyone’s gonna try to hold back on it for a while
because people have a lot of dirty secrets
and they do a lot of creepy shit
but i think ultimately
it’s probably gonna be good for everybody
i do
think that that’s where we’re headed i think
we’re headed to a point
where everybody
has access to
all the information that everybody else has
and not just like
like you go in the internet and you search for it
not like in a rudimentary way
we have to actively look for it
i think it’s going to be right there
i think there’s going to eventually come
there’s going to eventually get to a point
where there’s some
sort of technology that’s created that allows
human minds to interface with other human minds
i think that that’s definitely where this is all going
i mean when there’s talk of neural
implants and all these different things
people think that’s all crazy but
that’s a small step
from where we are
in comparison and where we were just a couple hundred years ago
i mean a couple hundred years ago
the fastest motive transportation was riding a fucking animal
think about that
you had to write three hundred years ago
the fastest shit on land is to ride an animal
or have an animal pull you behind something with wheel or slave
but slaves can’t run as fast as animal some of those guys can
no way not of course
this guy’s an idiot can’t believe he does
but i mean think about what a monument elite between
the transference of information
today in two thousand nine
and in seventeen o nine
i mean think about what we can do right now
we could send a fucking picture
across you know space
send it through the air
and it literally arrives i mean if i have a friend in the uk
and i want to send him a picture in a text message
i can take the picture
send it and it gets to him whoop
just like that i mean that’s fucking incredible
i mean it literally will get there in seconds
we don’t even
we can’t even fathom how nuts that is
because we do it all the time
what’s coming next is going to make that
seem like riding a horse
that’s what’s happening that’s what i think is happening
that’s what i think is this whole
this rush for information that everybody has
this insane desire that human beings have for the newest
greatest latest technology
you know even
when you don’t need it people are always trying to
pump up their computers the only reason why you need
pumped up computer really is to play video games
or if you’re crunching video
like he needs stuff like that
he makes videos just
for raw computing power
but the average person
does is not crunching video
they’ve hit a wall we’ve hit a wall in computers in general
like they really don’t need
even like the fastest computers now the programs
the video programs aren’t even
yeah that’s why everybody’s into those little netbooks you know
those netbooks are the shit except for watching like hd videos
right yeah
and that kind of sucks and you
can’t load a cd into it either a dvd right
yeah but that technology is talking about
the floppy drive right before the floppy drive left
you know like cds and dvds are out the door even blu rays
have like such a small shelf life
and you think it’s ever gonna get to a point
where bandwidth will be so broad
and like mobile functions
like laptops and phones like those little mobile cards
it’ll be so powerful that it’ll be just like your home oh
it’s totally it’s gonna be all that pretty soon
so it’ll basically be like everything
will be broadband do we even know what the fuck
that is doing to human beings
you know like they talk about cell phones
causing radiation and you know
one week they say it’s bad one week they say it’s okay
well i think
do you think that it’s possible that that’s
altering human beings giving kids autism probably
it might be that it might be that
it might also be fucking with bees
there’s been speculation that it’s been fucking with bees
and there’s also
been speculation that it’s
some crazy virus that read that as well
but there’s also been speculation that wi fi
signals and cell phone signals that it fucks with bees ability
to transmit
we did a thing for fear factor once with bees man
and it was a fucking trip
because this guy was a beekeeper and he
had all these bees that he brought with him
so the stunt was these dudes they had to be
strapped to this pole we strap them to the pole
and then we cover them with
bees they have to stand there for like five minutes
they were getting
fucked up because every now and then
you know the bees were argue or something
they’d sting the dude and it was bad like they got stung up well
while this was all going on
and while
this guy is tending to these bees and caring for these bees
a local swarm of bees came in
so our bees and their bees were talking it out
and we had a back up
everybody had to get off the set
we had a closed down the set we had a closed down the stunt
and everybody had a move back
and the beekeeper saying we’ve got you know a local
local band of bees has moved in i forget what he calls them
i didn’t a hive or i don’t know
but that’s like that
whatever the local band of bees moved in
to sort it out with these bees
so our bees and their bees
were just as fucking swarm in the sky and
then we’re fighting
they were just talking
like so what’s up
what are you guys doing i work for fair factor
you know work with fair factor
we got some dudes we’re gonna
cover them in bees and shit they were like working out
what was going on
and then they resolved their differences
and the local bees went a separate way
and then the his bees stayed was it like a black cloud yes
that’s crazy dude it was nuts it was a big
fucking cloud of bees in the air
and the bees were communicating
where’s your cell phone
why weren’t you filming
it was back in the day you didn’t have an east seven
eighteen or whatever morola
we had a
press four times to get it ask of yours do you remember how bad
this little motorola was working like e eight fifteen
is that what it was
i had one of those
but um so
we they wonder if that’s fucking with bees
if our cell phone signals and everything are fucking with bees
it’s that autism thing that it might be something
totally like that it could be it also
you know a lot of speculation
about autism is the age of the parents and that
the women are having
babies like into their thirties and forties
and that increases the risk
lot of people talked about that that’s
very very possible it makes sense man you know when
we’re just older and smarter
and we look at it now and we say well
god you know
how stupid would it be to have a kid when you’re eighteen
when you’re eighteen
you’re an idiot which is absolutely true but
when you’re an eighteen year old idiot
your genetics are much stronger
and you
could have a kid and the kid probably wouldn’t be as fucked up
i mean the reality is
even though we are
lengthening our lifetimes with nutrition
and you know science
and we’re figuring out a way to make people live longer really
people aren’t supposed to live much longer than like fifty
you know in back in the day if you live to be fifty holy shit
you pulled off an amazing thing
you know but not not anymore
now people are living to be a hundred ten
and you got sylvesters to loan of
sixty two years old he’s fucking
yoked and shredded
you know things are getting very strange now that’s why
guys are smart they’ll just knock up eighteen year old girls
when they want to get you know yeah
eighteen year old girls would definitely give you the better
genetics the real question
though is do you
do you get anything other than you know like hair color
eye colored personality
do you get learned experiences
and is it better off to have a parent with a lot of experiences
those experiences transfer through dna i never thought of that
because they didn’t use to think it was they used to think that
ideas were
only they were native to the person who had the idea
but now they’re starting to think that memes can actually
be transferred through genetics
and that useless traits even like racism
racism can be transferred through genetics
and it kind of makes sense because
there’s a lot of things that we have
inside our genetics and our instincts
that are basically ancient learned things
like for instances do name a rupert sheldrake
group of childrek is like this
evolutionary biologist dude and he pointed out that children
that live in new york city
they don’t have dreams about like muggers
or car accidents they have nightmares about monsters
about scary monsters
and the reason
they have nightmares about scary monsters is because back in
our heads somewhere deep in our dna
we remember back when we were like monkeys when we were
these little apes
hanging around in trees and you’re running away from big cats
and that that shit is always
in our head because that is like the number
one thing that
was that fed off
of chimps and apes is big cats
big cats are constantly killing monkeys and chimps and apes
and that’s like when they find like old human beings
like you know
the you know evolutionary versions of human beings you know
subhuman hominoids they find
all their skeletons like a lot of them have like big fucking cat
bites big you
know markings so
that’s like some memory that we have ingrained in
our genetics in whoever
the fuck we are
it’s very possible that if you’re like eighteen years old
and you know you
fuck a chick and she’s eighteen year both retarded
you’re gonna have a dumbass kid you know i mean that might be
it might not just be
you know your hair color
and your eye color and how tall you’re gonna be
it might
be your actual experiences and your human potential like that
second yeah
maybe yeah yeah
maybe if you’re a loser like
if you’re a fucking drunk if you get
hammered and you’re fucked up and your life is in the toilet
and you know you bang some chick who’s
you know on the rebound and
you know our old boyfriend needs to beat her and
you shoot a load in her maybe a kid would be just like
really fucking dumb and prone to make terrible mistakes
you know i mean maybe he can get past it but maybe
his inclination like maybe
maybe we start off in a certain place in life not just based on
the economic situation that our parents are in
and you know on who the people we grow up with
and what are our jenna
maybe it’s
maybe it’s
our position starts out based on
what the parents were thinking
and doing when they fucked and conceived
you like maybe if that’s the lowest point in their life
you not even because of the way they raise you
they could take you away
and raise you in an orphanage somewhere totally different
but your potential is limited by
the circumstances in which you were conceived
do you think that’s possible
maybe i don’t think we have any idea
so i think anything’s possible you know that
but it’s very obvious that there’s a bunch of different
types of humans
there’s like super powerful
super successful
super smart humans
and there’s really
fucking dumb people
i think is the percentage of your brain being used
you know i think people use more brain than other people
and i think it’s such a small percentage but even that
you know yeah maybe
that’s the real
way to become a superhero
find out how to use a hundred percent of your brain
but isn’t that
bullshit i’ve heard that that’s bullshit that we don’t use yeah
i mean when they cook it up
it shows the yeah but that’s not what that part is for
you know i think
that all
you know human beings only use ten percent of their brain
is i think that’s a myth yeah
i think he’s a myth well
they don’t know exactly what every
part of the brain is for it’s like
they’re still like
it’s like you know it’s like
charting out the bottom of the sea
there’s a lot of shit that they still haven’t figured out yet
all right let’s see if any of you
motherfuckers are smarter than us
and have answers to all these things that we’re talking about
it is weird when you see like a human brain on tv
and you’re just like that’s somebody
that’s a person
that used to be a person
it’s crazy it doesn’t make any sense it’s nuts
all right this twitter is blowing the fuck up
ladies and gentlemen
yeah you spelled twitter wrong
i spelled twitter wrong on the twitter backslash jaron and
i did retard should i fix that no who cares
shit you know what i’m talking about
doo doo doo doo doo
damn a lot of questions should watch a scanner darkly yeah
you know what man
a scanner darkly is something
that i bought a long ass time ago i got it on dvd
and i just have never gotten around and watching it
i tried to watch
i stop antichrist
why did you lose top
i don’t remember
it just wasn’t that interesting damn you hear that shit cross
what the fuck i said it wasn’t interesting you recommended it
and he said it’s wack
canna reese man
canna reese is tough action
is there ever been a guy
that more universally panned as an actor
but more incredibly successful there’s no
i mean he like
he blows him off the fucking charlie slip by every time oh
here’s something that i needed to say
they actually found had a playboy article this
month that there was a roadhouse video game in the
being made a few years ago
but the company went bankrupt
a roadhouse video game
which is like the patrick’s ways he moved yeah
that’s the greatest bad movie ever
it’s right up there with show girls
if you haven’t seen roadhouse
i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you
if you haven’t seen show girls
drop this chat and and
either download it or go to the video store and do something
you gotta watch show girls show girls is awesome
just a quick essential movie where
the people who are doing the movie were just
gacked out of their fucking minds on cocaine
and they made a terrible movie that makes no sense
and it’s so bad that it’s good
it’s like perfect
it’s just one of those movies that just perfectly crosses over
into parody
to the point where you could watch it over and over and over
again right
i’ve only seen it twice show girls is awesome
but show girls and roadhouse are both basically the same movie
they’re both movies where it’s like
they got people that were just full of themselves enough
and just
underestimated intelligence the viewers enough
and just hack enough
and just
you know they just followed the dumbest formula lines possible
and the difference between roadhouse and
show grows though
is that roadhouse seems to be raw stupidity on its own
where it show girls is
the most obvious cocaine movie of all time
because it’s just so dumb
like you had to be on coke to think that that was a good movie
if you made that movie and you weren’t on coke
you would watch the daylights and you’d be like
what the fuck are we doing
what are we doing what is this movie
but if you’re on coke you’re like yeah
it’s fucking awesome give me another line
what was your
what’s your bit
i’ll tell you how to escalate which one
has something to do with like
would you even be able to see it yet
because you know the human brain hasn’t seen it yet
oh no it’s my theory about about how we
believe that everything around us is everything there is
right and i talk about farts
and what i say is that
if someone farted and you didn’t have a nose
you’d have no idea
something was going no no
i’m talking about something you used to say a while ago
something like
kind of you were kind of saying like how
would you even be able to see it
because our brain hasn’t seen it yet like the tiger
or so oh like
that i didn’t mean the tiger bit was that
if a tiger was running at you
would you be able to even watch that
because i think your brain would start producing
something about the pyramid or something you used to have a
thing where you talked about like
would they even be able to see it
because their brains never seen it before
and so i don’t think so man that’s not my act
that’s i think you’re thinking of there’s
a part in the movie this secret
where those retards claim that
or was a what the bleep do we know
i think it was a bleep yeah yeah well
they were like
looking like they said the indians couldn’t recognize the boat
that’s why they didn’t see it
that was not my act right
no my act is the part about how
if we didn’t have a nose and you
smell a fart and this is for the people that are watching us
this is the idea is that
we don’t have any idea
if there’s more around us all the time that we can’t sense
and it’s very possible there is
and what i say is the fart theory and the fart theory is
if someone farted
and you couldn’t smell it
you’d have no idea that there’s something around you
it’s totally completely invisible
but if someone farts
you fucking smell it but if you didn’t have a nose
you’d be just sitting in someone’s stench
how do we not know
that there aren’t an infinite amount of things
that we just can’t detect
and that smell
even though we can’t detect
it’s like it’s for biological reasons you know
you smell gas
you know it’s dangerous for you you smell fire get away
there’s a reason why we have a sense of smell
it’s good for us but what if we didn’t
if we didn’t it would be an
invisible thing
and it’s just our imagination that limits
the possibilities of how many other invisible things there are
around us all the time that we can’t detect
there’s all sorts of animals like worms
you take your hand you rolled over
you know above a worm they have no idea
you’re there they have no idea
it’s very possible that if that exists in nature
that there’s also
some shit like that with human beings it’s very possible that we
are constantly
like the idea of dimensions
dimensions might be dimensions of perception we just might not
have the ability to perceive
all these other things that are around us all the time
i mean that could be like
bad energy like you go into a house i mean people
many people have told stories
they go into a house where people have been murdered
and they could feel it
they could feel it fucked up energy in the house
like that all might be real shit you know
we don’t have a name for it and we’re not good at detecting it
you know we call it a sense or a feeling
that might be real energy that you’re detecting we’re just not
evolved enough to the point where we can really tune into it yet
why is it that we like
our own farts but not somebody else’s fart
my farts are delicious
do you think
it’s just like i don’t know you think we would enjoy
if we made ourselves
you know
like if you forced yourself to smell my farts and enjoy it like
make yourself enjoy
you’d have to be one of those sick dudes that
wax off to fart porn
you know
cause there’s dudes to do that just dudes oh yeah fart baby
there’s dudes that like that that’s real
but i’ve never heard of anybody who likes their buddies fartsy
that’s weird though it’s amazing there should be
meanwhile i enjoy my own fork i love my father everybody does
if you’re in your car and
you feel a hot one
and you blast you when you do this you step boy
you smoking when i’m in the shower
i cut my hand around my ass and i call it a donald duck
and because it’s good
you like it makes a donald duck noise when you and when i fart
and it doesn’t smell i’m always disappointed yeah
like if i fart
nothing it’s worse
yeah but like there’s somebody else farts like on a plane
you’re like oh
you motherfucker
i can’t believe you did why is that that we should love it
i know that smells the same
it’s not like your fort smell different than i
well with our farts i think we get
a little reward like oh
you’re getting all this bad stuff out of your body
but with other people’s farts it’s like oh
you stinky fuck you know
it’s not the same reward
though is there any other smells that do that
i don’t like to smell my shit
don’t like that i tell you that i don’t like that
when i take a nasty dump one oh
get me out of that room right
i don’t when i go back in
like i would blow my nose or something like that
i go to get some toby oh
what the fuck that was my shit yeah
i don’t like it
but i do that’s funny man
you do like have you ever had a shit outside
you ever have to take like a shit in the woods
that’s the worst
because there’s no water or anything
it’s just steamy stinky fucking dump on the dirt yeah
it smells horrible
nobody ever like is like
sniffing their
pile of shit and getting all
happy about it it makes no sense hmm it doesn’t make any sense
it’s like what is the evolutionary reason for that
you know what is the reason
it’s probably like the cure of aid somewhere in that hmm
something that
like researchers on i’m not going to research on farts
what do you think okay
what do you think about all these dudes
and there’s a bunch of scientists online
what is that there’s just
one guy that’s at the head of the cause
peter dewsburg
and they’re all saying that hiv does not cause aids
and that hiv is a very weak virus
and that the only reason why hiv exists in the systems
of these people
that are have aids
is because their immune system
is so compromised that it can’t even kill off hiv well
i think it’s really weird that most of the people
it seems that that have aids are drug users and gaze
so they’re going to
have something to do at the immune system but then you get
fucking what’s his name
the basketball player that had fake aids
that’s the other thing is that people
test negative after a while like in the rich
people and then it goes
into a dormant stage yeah
i mean magic johnson had aids
and now he’s doing like mattress commercials right you know
right it’s like crazing why is he doing mattress commercials
he didn’t get
you know why he spent a lot of money on aids medicine yeah
i think i don’t know man i guess i mean
they probably pay him millions dollars do any commercial
he still got a good name how much mattresses
though are you gonna sell this pay that millionaire
how many more of these
basketball players all these dudes who you know are out
there just fucking banging chicks
left and right
they must be freaking out about this tiger woodshit
this tiger
wood shit will throw a monkey wrench into your endorsement
deals and like if you’re like a michael jordan type of dude
like that’s like where those guys make them
the bulk of their cash is in endorsements
but that’s why this is so dangerous to tiger woods
it’s not the tiger woods can’t go out there and still
kick ass and golf
and say fuck you
i don’t do whatever i want he can
but he can’t
because the endorsements is where he gets all his cash
well look at letterman
same thing it’s like
it’s blown up this year two thousand nine sucks
no it doesn’t suck it’s what i was talking about before
i think
what we’re seeing in celebrities
is mirrored is going to be mirrored in human beings
we’re seeing more access to information
we’re seeing less secrets i think it’s a trend i think
it’s a trend because i think that’s eventually
what the human race is going to come to
it’s going to come to a point time
where there is not going to be any secrets
and that’s a good thing
there’s going to be full information discles from you to me
and what it is is the convergence of all human beings that’s
what’s going to
to start to ignite the convergence
amongst all human beings
it’s going to be full access to information
i know everything in your head
you know everything in my head
it’s pretty weird man it’s
pretty fucking crazy and that’s where it’s going
it’s going through technology
and this is what
the internet’s about this is what
twitter’s about this is what this eustrophe tread is about
this is what all this shit is about
it’s about a convergence of human beings like human beings are
eventually merging
into one thing i mean that’s
the whole ancient line in eastern mysticism and
eastern religion is you know that we are all one
we are you know
we are one consciousness
like the bill hicks joke experiencing himself subjectively
you know that’s
the the timothy leary ideology
the ideology of all the all the psychedelic heads
all the people that you know
really got into like heavy duty psychedelic drugs
in that it’s just one thing
and that we can’t recognize that we’re one thing
because we have ego
we have survival and we have all these things
but that our technology and
the technology
forcing us to evolve that the access to information
that technology provides
eventually will cause human beings
all human beings to converge and literally be like one
if i know all your thoughts
i know all your information
and we have an access to it
an interface
that’s much less crew than what we have now with typing
and with researching or watching documentaries
what if it’s like an instant access
a human neuro transplant something that allows all of us
to link up our minds together
that’s not that
outside of the realm of possibility
that to me seems
just as likely as the ability to send a picture
through the internet on your phone
that’s just
that’s just as fucking crazy that you can send video
through the air
and you could watch a youtube video
on your iphone you’re like what the
fuck i mean it’s just
coming through the air
and you put the headphones on and it’s in stereo like what
that’s going through the fucking sky
is just as
likely that human beings are eventually going to come to some
sort of a some sort of a technological invention something
that we’re going to come to something
that allows all human beings to interface together
it might be through this thing
it might be something you put on
and everybody else that has it on all links in together
or it might have actually become something like something
you put in your body
or it might be something
they broadcast through the fucking air that links people
i can’t
i just can’t wait till it gets cheaper to be able to like
upgrade your body parts like i want to have better
eyeballs i want night vision
i want to have fucking twitter
i want a new eye
about that woman that they made her a new bladder yeah
out of the new bladder
they took her own bladder they scraped the cells together
and yeah they grew it as i don’t know if the stem cells yeah
it’s just yeah stem cells
but i know
they grew a new bladder for her in a fucking petri dish
and then installed it in her body
that’s crazy
you know a bladder just kind of a bag for piss but
that’s gonna happen
with other shit too man i transplants are crazy too though
that’s amazing you imagine
jessica my friends
uncle died and they donated their eyes and
help somebody see that can now see and they got a letter
just to let you know
your uncle’s eyes were donated as so and so person
who can now see and they get sent him a whole letter
so you can imagine
somebody you know who’s dead now
but their eyeballs are still being used
that’s incredible
that’s like a nightmare that’s like a horror movie right
like well i heard about so
i was thinking i was listening to the art bell show
about some lady who donated her
or she she got a liver from somebody and an operation
and right immediately after the
operation that she
started having cravings for what others dude are you serious
yeah that’s fucked out yeah
cravings she never had before
and then she found out of the dude like really like to eat this
certain type of thing
very strange now
i wonder if you got a butt transplant if you like
that person’s farts if you like your own farts
still if you got somebody else’s butt
people may ask the weirdest questions dawkins twenty
look at this bill hicks the comedian
how are they the same guy
what the fuck kind of question is that
what does that mean
that doesn’t mean anything that’s not how are they the same guy
he’s one guy he’s
how are they the same guy what
alex jones is bill hicks oh
this is people believe alex jones bill hicks
i met bill hicks
i’m friends with alex jones
they’re not the same guy
isn’t that retarded that these people cannot be serious it
has to be a joke it’s an internet meme right
if you guys are being serious about
that you guys are fucking retarded
yeah that’s pretty so
alright let’s go some questions here
magic johnsons bought the cure for aids yeah
magic johnson great south park episode too
i love that
care for you there was no better
south park episode than the one where
the the gay dude had a horror off with
perry south carousel yeah shelter up his ass
i remember watching that going how do they get away with this
you don’t pass on circumstances but you can pass on
the psychic ability to create them alright
alright christine m valez
how do you know that
do you really know that are you just you say maybe
maybe that’s what’s happening
but you don’t know the psychic ability to create them
have you ever met anybody
that says that they’re a channeler
or says that they’re psychic that isn’t a
fucking retard have you ever met anyone
i don’t believe
any of it every time they do it
they’re like fucking scam artist to me yeah
i’ve never met one person that
says they’re a psychic
or says they can channel that isn’t retarded
they’re all retarded
but then it’s like
almost like do you have to be retarded to be able to do that
maybe you have to be
like some some other person that can
like you’re so
socially inept
you’re so clueless to how other people perceive you
that you can achieve
certain frequencies that other people can’t
is that possible
anything’s possible
cannot get alex jones on opian anthony
i don’t think so man i don’t think that’s a good idea
i saw what little jimmy
what little jimmy did to jesse ventura
i don’t think we’d like that yeah
alex johns is not the kind of guy you’re supposed to like
argue with like that
he’s supposed to enjoy his company
and ask him questions
and then we started talking about the new world order
black helicopters
and gentlemen i see them outside of my window every night
you tell me i’m crazy
but i see
black helicopters outside my window so what is going on
you don’t you don’t argue with that dude you go damn man
motherfucking black helicopters that’s what he’s supposed to do
and that’s supposed to like
and i think if i was in the room with jesse ventura
i’m certain i would have handled it different than jimmy did
but jimmy’s one of those dudes were
jim norton
fantastic comedian funniest guy in radio without a doubt by far
he’s one of those dudes that when he
you know when he’s in the face of someone who’s like a bully
he doesn’t like that shit he doesn’t stand up to that shit well
and he feels like that jesse like
has this slow burn in his eyes and i’m a navy shield
and all that shit
and that you’re supposed to listen to him because of that
and jim norman just ain’t buying that
and that’s why jimmy just shut him down
and clowned him
that’s just what he does he’s just he’s not good at people
being bullies
i respect that
people that meditate have large frontal lobe cortexes study show
says pete shreds
i wonder that’s very possible right
it’s very possible
it changes the way your brain works i mean if you lift weights
you know it changes the way your muscles look if you if you
exercise your mind in certain ways it
doesn’t don’t you think it would make that happen yeah
brian is gonna smoke marijuana live
right here on u stream thank god it’s all legal supposedly
that’s the only thing obama’s done
that he said he would do it’s not going after weed
readiculous all right what
else what else party people let’s go to the rogan board
and read some of the questions that you find people have
what is my opinion on free will
blog talks about how we’re all living through
different circumstances
which is very true
but it seems denote the power of free will which kind of sucks
i don’t know you know
i go i start thinking about free will
i think about
free will in a couple of different ways i think it’s very
possible that you know
you are shaping your own destiny and that you know you can
you know
choose your path and you can you know go through this life
and you know and make something to yourself
you know the fact that you did it by yourself and you have to
free will it’s all good i think that’s very possible
but i think it’s all poss it’s also possible that life itself is
a gigantic mathematical algorithm
that all life itself is like a gigantic mathematical equation
and that
it just doesn’t seem like an equation because we’re a part of it
but like that everything
your personality
your biology your circumstances
your experiences
they’re all
set up in line to put you in a very specific position
to move forward in a very specific way to interface
with all the other very specific things that are around you
all the other very specific people
very specific events and that the idea is that
what the idea of free will
is sort of a misnomer like you have
instincts and you have experiences that
guide you into a certain way
like say if you
you know you drank poison
you almost died and it was terrible
and you didn’t know it’s poison well
you’ll be much more careful next time
and you won’t drink poison the idea that that
circumstance that you have experienced has led you
in a very specific way
and that your experiences literally are set up
as a part of a mathematical equation
and that it’s all to lead this entire human race
which is really just one organism
one gigantic superorganism
to lead this entire human race into a very specific place
for a very specific purpose
that’s possible you know i don’t like to think it you know
when your ego has
any control whatsoever over your mind
your ego wants you to think that no
you know i am in control my whole my life i have done
what i have done
and i am proud of all that i have done because
it’s my own accomplishments
but really it might be
you’re following a program
it really might be
we’re all a part of this gigantic program that’s
you know and that all this you know
ego justification ego gratification
sex and love and fun and happiness
and all these things are really just
like numbers and
equations and like
the powerful number that you
get from love forces you
to you know to be in love and have children
and to create more people
and to be good to those people and
those people create more good people
and that these these rewards
are all in fact set up as a part of an equation
to move the human race into one specific place
that everyone is working together
all over the world and we just don’t realize it where bees
yeah we’re bees i
mean we don’t know how bees communicate we don’t know
what sort of a culture bees have
but we know that they don’t have books
they can’t study their past they can’t study their history
i mean how conscious how aware are they
are they just going through the motions because
that’s how they’re programmed and
if that’s the case if that’s the case with
wolves and bears and every other animal that
sort of goes through these
natural motions to achieve a specific result
maybe that’s what we’re doing
maybe we’re just doing it
and it’s way more complicated because what we’re doing
is we’re actually
changing our environment we’re changing the world
we’re creating computers and creating technology
and we’re involved we’re the only
animal on the planet that’s involved
in this symbiotic relationship with another
life form and that other life form is technology
i mean if you
don’t classify life as something that has a heartbeat
something that bleeds
but if you classify life
as something that evolves and changes and grows
and something that is like inexorably
linked to human beings technology is just like a virus
technology is just like something
some sort of a bacteria that’s in your system
that you can’t get out of
you know like you have to
you have a lot of healthy bacteria in your body all the time
and that’s like
you have a symbiotic relationship with this healthy bacteria
and it keeps you alive
and it actually fights off other bacteria
i mean that’s what probiotics are
that’s what acidophilus says you’re taking in a live culture
that will be your warriors and they will fight off bad bacteria
well it’s very possible that that’s what
technology is the technology is
a life force that we are interfaced with
and we have a symbiotic relationship with this other thing
and we needed to keep us alive
we needed to keep the power on
you know to keep
to keep us warm in cold climates to
you know to make sure your car gets you to work
you know
to make sure that the airbag goes off to save your life
and all this shit
is designed to help us
but in turn we keep it going
we look at old
cars on the side of the road that are broken down and dead
and those things are just like dead bodies you know
cars that are old that stay alive that’s just like wow that’s
fucking cool that’s just like seeing an old man at the gym
with big muscles like holy shit
you know
i mean literally like technology and things that we create
helping those things evolve we are helping those things evolve
with our materialism
with our obsession with technology
we are
trying to always constantly get the newer better cooler shit
and in doing that and in supplying that we are forcing people
to work in that industry and continue to evolve technology
i mean it’s very possible that it’s all one fucking big thing
that’s my opinion on that
what i get for christmas your mother’s pussy oh
what’s my opinion oh this is too tripping
some people just get way too dmt on me
extreme extreme hippies that value that are
weird to me yeah
this is dude’s question this is enthioshaman
what is your opinion of the non ordinary reality access by dmt
and other
and theo substances and theo gins are
i think
the literal translation is something that connects you to god
but it’s psychedelic drugs do you feel there is much to learn
from this version of reality
how can it be applied to ordinary reality
that’s the real problem with any psychedelic drugs
whether you’re doing
salvio or doing dmt or smoking weed
it’s like
are you bringing any of that back is it enhancing your life
do you think anything enhances you la
i don’t know that question to me
seems like he wrote it in the garage with his car running
第一次 what’s my take on charlie sheen
charlie sheen is a dude who’s friends with alex jones
like me but he’s not laughing
he is a nine eleven conspiracy buff he’s an actor he knows
that’s a problem
that you know he might have just know he’s an actor
actors are tough action man
i mean i know a couple actors that are pretty cool
not that many most of them are really annoying
somebody said it best that actors like comedians
but with no punch lines
they always want to talk and go
shit they’re not giving you anything back
at least like with joey diaz
is talking like you’re gonna be laughing
and you’re gonna enjoy it you want him to talk
but actors just talk
you know
actors always have the answers to like
if you’re talking to actors very rarely
does an actor want to admit that they don’t know why
something is this or something is that why
you know they always have an opinions like really
poorly thought out opinions whether it’s on politics or
war anything
have you recently unfollowed somebody on twitter because they
just twitted too much
i just unfollowed them yeah no
i hardly ever unfollow someone
the only time i
block people if they just looking to have arguments with me
i’m sort of
boring but
i follow the dumbest motherfuckers i follow so many dumb people
i don’t even want to tell you what they’re doing
i don’t want to tell you who they are because some of them
some of them are just fantastic
they’re fantastic
terrible tweets i just unfold kevin smith the other day because
he literally spent two hours replying to every single person
that has rhodeum
in like the last two months
energy did it because it blocks up here
it was all him and had no one else i’m like oh
next page are you serious yeah
but don’t you like him though i do like him but that’s
bullshit the dude needs to learn out of fucking he’s twitter
well how are you supposed to do it
if you don’t reply
direct messages
but to all those people if you’re gonna if you’re gonna
release all our time we don’t care what this answer
this question is that if you do yeah but the dev messages
the problem
with the direct messages is that you can’t everybody else can’t
see it and
one of the cool things about kevin smith is it like well
i think maybe we’re following kevin smith and you get to see
everybody saw
kevin smith responded to you well dude this video
type shit then and reply it all you know like a go okay
here’s our next person
from twitter what change is a little dude
because it just ruins everything else i hate it
i met kevin smith and he’s cool as fuck so i will cool as up
i will never unfollow him
he could put pages of shit on my twitter
and i will i will keep it going dude i love the dude roll
i love the dude but that’s just uncalled for it
what do i think of ben stein
calling ron paul anti semitic i don’t think about it at all
that’s hilarious those two old queens
i would love to see
ben stein and ron paul suck at each other’s cos yeah
i would pay a thousand dollars for that video have you seen
bruno yet no
i have that on video too it’s nothing i haven’t
watched it and it’s it’s it’s
that whole part
with ron pon and ever since i’ve seen it i always
look at him and he looks like an old queen to me now
ever since then ron pa yeah
just how i handle that he hated like
he can’t i don’t know
well he’s super religious
so that’s possibly gang right
if you’re really intelligent and yet super religious
i always gotta go alright
what’s going on what are you doing
blog guys what are you doing it’s weird yeah
something wrong is either money or gay
you’re really intelligent and you’re really buying into
and this is not saying you know that there’s no god
it’s not saying that there’s no
this is not something else i’m the first one to say
that i don’t know i have no idea
but i’m also the first one to say that you don’t know either
and anybody
that pays any attention to religion or follows religion at all
and it looks at the history of religion knows that it’s a
it’s a disjointed
mess and nobody even
knows the origins of all this stuff and nobody knows
how much people
altered the words and
what we do know about it is that
even the bible itself the oldest version of the bible
they didn’t even use the dead sea scrolls
that’s the oldest version of the bible by far they don’t even
they don’t even use that when you think that’s like the best one
wouldn’t it that’s like the purest version of it
now we’re still busy using the new testament
the new testament was created by constantine
and a bunch of bishops
they piled it together in the old testament well
the old testament the real
real version of it was written in ancient hebrew
and to this day in two thousand nine
they only know three out of four words in ancient hebrew that’s
twenty five fucking percent of the words they don’t know
what the fuck it means
and on top of that letters also
doubled there’s numbers back then because there was no numbers
so the letter a was also like the number one
like if you did it that way
so there was like numerical value to words
that was completely lost
when they translated ancient hebrew to latin and then to greek
so like the word love
and the word god they have the same numerical value
so we don’t even really know what the fuck they were saying
so no
i’m not saying that there’s no god that there’s not something
else but what i’m saying is to follow
current religion as it’s you know
practiced and preached to that it’s ridiculous it’s ridiculous
so if ron paul’s really into that
come on man
big old queen
what is he doing
what’s ron paul big old queen look
if he just came out and said he’s a big old queen
i would still vote for him man i think he’s a bad motherfucker
i would like to see if somebody really tried to get in there
and shake up the system
and change the way
you know
the world is run and keep us out of other countries and
demolish the irs and get rid of the cia and
that’d be fascinating
to see if someone can actually do that and not get killed
i don’t think they could
you’re a kindle
yeah i got a kindle
just wonder i just got one of the sony readers for christmas
it’s cool because google buy like all these books and so
i don’t know
if you can do this with the kindor or not but with the sony one
you can just go to google
and download all these free books onto it
really and they have your
issue of kung fu magazine or whatever karate magazine oh
that i was in yeah they have that hunger
and so that’s the sony reader you can go and get that
so you get any book basically for free well
not any book but any other ones on google has like ton of books
but they’re all like old school out of print books
thing has to be out man
i got the kindle and i couldn’t get any
hunterist thompson books
really like one book that he wrote that was for sale
but they didn’t have the great
shark hunt they didn’t have good at google
com backslash books
and see if they have it there and he was downloaded
i don’t know if it works on kindle though probably
the kindle reads pdf files it does but
when it reads pdf files doesn’t let you enlarge the text
which is why oh you can do that in the sony
shut about the wrong one
and then i don’t care
it still better probably
and our question earlier when we were talking about can poker
can these bots on poker sites
poker j
who’s john carlos avarado
who’s on the rogan board says
poker sites catch bots of the program
that can see if you click the same pixel
every time you make a move
something that’s impossible to do by a human
that’s why you have the program go over a couple pixels
yeah every time
ryan would change the program she figured it out
already the thing sucks
how was the shit i just thought it was excellent
did i really forget everything
i learned during the tyke window days no
i still remember some tyke window stuff
some stuff tyke window is effective
like you see kungley uses a lot of tyke window
he uses a lot of turn sidekicks and front leg sidekicks and
front leg roundhouse kicks where he doesn’t switch to the legs
that’s there’s a lot of power in that stuff
it’s just it’s not complete
in the tiger window
needs other things and needs moi tie and wrestling
and you do it soon all that stuff
but it helps there’s some stuff in it that’s it’s different
you know the style of
like karate
that machini uses like they’re leaping in and leaping out
nobody knew that that would work before no
because no one was ever good at it
that was good at other stuff as well
and i think that’s like the sort of the same
thing with connelly entic window
all right these questions all suck get back to twitter
suck cock on my website
guys are a bunch of gay ass
stupid ass questions
not the same questions with the same people
circumcised here’s a good question
would you get your kid circumcised in this day and age
because most guys in america or cut no
i am not gonna if i have a boy this new baby
we don’t know what it is yet
we’ll find out soon
and if it’s a boy
i’m gonna
let him have a big elephant dick you’re disgusting dude what
do you care
what my baby’s dick
looks like because i’m gonna have to fuck
because i’m gonna have to watch a lot of video
of it no
no i mean i was thinking of that
just the other day it’s so funny that
it was personal aspects
your dick comes out a certain way
you’re tiny cornos
and that covers it like a turtleneck
have you ever seen porn just felt bad for the poor guy because
i’m fucking creep dick yeah
we talked to girls ad circumcision
have you talked to girls about this
i don’t give a girl like oh my god
he had an unsettled stick it was so disgusting that
chances i’ve talked to girls that
have sucked uncircumcised dicks and then you don’t care
right it’s a little different yeah yeah
any girl that would care is a cunt
it’s good it’ll keep cunts away from my boy
some picky cunt it doesn’t like a uncircumcised dick
what’s your white wide
you just think it’s just mean
ridiculous it’s a totally unnecessary end
it feels better supposedly you need
i don’t need help coming faster
it’s not a health coming faster
it actually feels better it’s more sensitive
it’s not whether or not you come for us you actually
it’s more enjoyment
silly man
i’m not getting my fucking kids ridiculous
this is ridiculous i hate
i’m so weird i’m so glad
i’m just like
that’s something i think every day i’m like thank you dad for oh
my god you know there’s websites out there where dudes try to
regrow their skin it’s a long
term process to re circumcise their dick they stretch it out
they have like little things
like an attachment it’s clip onto the tip of your dick
it gets more they get more infections in
like dirt inside there
and it’s like if you haven’t clean your dick
that’s my answer to that clean your fucking dick look
how hard is it to wash your dick i hate
dirty dick people should not have
no circumcises nerk circumcisions but
if you’re a cleanly person like
you should be like my boy will be
he will have an uncircumcised dick god damn it if you ever
i think we already talked about that what
have you ever ate out a girl that had really long pussy looks
yeah i like that
there’s one where i get stretched probably that far
it was like chewing gum
when you was in your mouth
do do do do do
see this is too old these questions are like old
this is like an hour ago oh
no that’s the farm hate and funny his twitter sure is his
twitter’s the bomb diggity
what is it the mark hayden
i think he changed it to the dub mark gaiden
i’m starting to think it’s not real
what do you mean who changed the name of it i don’t know
no did someone change the name of it
whoever’s doing it then why would they do
that man we got a thing going on
motherfuckers are you doing
do you think on our lifetime
microchips is some like they do with dogs where it’s scan
and some access yeah
i think that’s gonna happen
yeah i think it’s very possible
there’s gonna be some sort of a microchip thing
where human beings are gonna be scanned into a database
the real problem is there’s so many fucking people
there’s so many goddamn people how do you do
how do you keep track of it
who’s gonna watch it like people used to say oh
man what if your phones are bugged
who’s bugging these phones and workers
government workers how many
people are they watching
is there one person for every person out there
they just
circling on you because they know you sell pot like come on man
how many fucking people are out there
that could actually
be monitoring people’s phones well
now they have the technology
where they can just sit there and record
every single phone call
and it transcribes it like dragon speak
but time’s fifty technology
and it pretty much looks for keywords like money drug you know
yeah that’s that makes sense i’ve heard that before
there’s things like
video programs like
was it called predator something like that they had one yeah
that was would go through the internet
and let’s search for like al qaeda
search for terrorists search for certain specific keywords
peak oil versus science
you know what man
i think they’re gonna figure out some other shit besides oil
i think it makes sense i think you know
there’s a lot of stuff
they could do with agriculture
there’s a lot of stuff
they could do with hydrogen there’s a lot of stuff
it’s just we could have come up with something else it’s just
we got bamboozled into going the way the oil
because it was easy and cheap
and it was already in place
and we stayed with oil but
i don’t think society’s gonna crumble because we run out of oil
i think we’ll come out with something
just as good
you hear those new mini coopers in the cold the electric ones
in cold weather
it only gets half the power
how big is that
that’s ridiculous yeah
because they’re only good for like a hundred miles
as it is right
so in cold weather goes for fifty miles fifty miles
that makes sense
because your battery is
more dead in cold weather yep oh
a piece of shit yeah but imagine buying that car
that’s an expensive car imagine you know what top
gear did you know that show top gear in the bbc awesome show
they took one of those priuses an electric car
and they drove it around a track with a
priest is a hybrid right
they drove it around a track with an m three
and all the m three had to do was keep up with the prius
that’s all it had to do
the prius go it went full blaster on the track
and the m three obviously much
much faster car all i had to do is keep up
the prius got thirteen miles to the gallon
and the m three got nineteen
so when the prius drives hard
it’s just as much of a piece of shit
as you know any other car it’s like it’s
it’s nonsense it’s like it’s
it’s fake being green
and it apparently it’s much more toxic to the environment
to create a prius than it is to create well
i thought i thought how it worked as priuses
are electric under twenty five miles
an hour or something like that
yeah for stop and go traffic it’s running off battery over that
just a normal car
that makes sense yeah
and over that as a normal car it’s terrible yeah
it’s just a small sheet terrible goddamn piece of shit
that was bb jones with the circumcision question
it’s so weird he
asks i was just thinking that the other is a good question
man that’s a good
question that’s a weird thing with people
i did you really worry about what your kids dick looks like
did it start well
i just think every day
how thankful i am
you’re so silly
if i had you a little dick
i would climb myself to sleep over there
did you see somebody posted this on the board today
about indian men
and that there’s like some
what is it one
sixty percent
of indian men i don’t know if this is a true statistic
so many i’ve been rocked
posted it so
take it with a grain of salt
sixty percent of indian men cannot use a standard condom
one in five condoms fall off during intercourse
so this is from the bbc
is it true i don’t know we’re gonna go to it
damn the bbc we need to go to india due to fuck some women
wow it really is wow
it’s true serve you more than a thousand men in india
has concluded that condoms made
according to international sizes are too large
for the majority of indian men
that’s crazy that’s sad
as a magnum user i feel for you bitch
wow scientists even check their sample
check to see if their sample was representative of india
as a whole in terms of class
religion and urban and rural dwellers
so even like the peasants you know even
the slaves in india have little dicks
so sad at least the peasants in the lower
class in america
are generally thought to have the biggest dicks
right slaves
back in the day when they had slaves
those cats almost had monster horse dicks yeah
how many white women do you think fox slaves back
then oh the horse snuck in tons of do you think they did yeah
yeah when their husband stopped fucking them right yep
snuck in and just got some
alabama black snake
how many white women do you think had babies with slaves back
then think that happened there was a lot of dead babies
really i bet
well there was a lot of white guys
who would fuck their black slaves that was very common
and have babies with their black slaves
what a
fuck that must have been how weird must have been to the guy
who was the father
would fuck the slave
have a baby with a slave
the slave would have his
baby and he would see this half white baby
and he would just
leave the half white baby with the slaves
and let them take care of it
like you wouldn’t even bring it in as his kid
just because of a race thing
that must be that must have been fucking enough
talk about like haunting your conscience
woo how weird is witch trials
you know
the old school witch trials or they were like way witches or
it still goes on today you know in africa
in africa they still have a huge problem with people
accusing people
of being bewitch there’s a video where they caught them on fire
and they’re just sitting there on five yeah
they’re beating with sticks and kicking them this is real recent
there was a
here i’ll put it on twitter i wrote a blog article about it
that’s one of the worst videos that
in the hong kong girl snorting herself to death yeah
there’s that video that you can see this hong kong girl
she snorts this gigantic line of ketamine
ketamine is a fucking cat
tranquilizer and a lot of crazy kids are doing this
when she snorted this gigantic line for a video
and then wand up dying
and the video is available online along with the store
trying to find the
i want to put that article online that i
that i wrote about i think
it was called humanity gun haywire i think that was the
that was the name of the article but it was all about how
nutty it is that there’s this like real problem
they have right now
i don’t know what that was from there’s no search option
my blog archives are gay
mm hmm look at that there’s no search option
it’s weird i have a search option
this is terrible
what’s to look for
tell you dude
look at that my fucking website is
this is way better yeah
google is way better for searching than
my own website fucking website
my website is being a design right now people
you’ve been saying it for eight years yeah
it’s been been lit designed for eight years
that’s all sure god damn it
all right let me find out the
twitter this bitch
all right i put it
i just put it up on twitter
if you board and you want to read the thing about witchcraft
watch the video if it’s still there
it’s really creepy
you know a funny thing about witchcraft in america
like everybody knows about the sale in witch trials
well what i read
the biggest connection
they have to what happened there
and then while everybody thought they were being possessed
and there’s which craft going on
was that there was a late frost and that the wheat got frozen
and when it thought out apparently
when that happens
there’s a late frost and wheat freezes and the thoughts out
it grows a certain fungus on it
and this certain fungus is called urgot
and urgot has it’s a really similar
or identical rather chemically to lsd
so when they would take this
bread that they would make from this wheat that had grown
this fungus on it
these people would fucking trip their balls off
they would have these crazy
horrifying bad acid trips
so they literally thought they were under a spell
which totally makes sense
and they just started burning bitches
and women always want to say that it’s oh
men were
back then men were
the spell that a woman would be cast upon her
upon him with her beauty was just too perplexing
and the men couldn’t deal with the
fact the women had all those powers they killed him eh come on
guys have been raping chicks forever
you tell me they gotta stop back then
this is not that much
this is not that perplexing
guys want to shoot a load they shoot a load you know
guys want to shoot a load they jerk off
they don’t want to shoot a load anymore you know
they’re not gonna
start burning people because they want to fuck them
i don’t believe that
i think it’s a much more likely
scenario that this
fungus grew on this wheat because they had already
taken soil samples and so they had known
from their you know whatever
climatological studies that they used to
figure out how cold it was during a specific time
there was a late
frost there were some evidence that there was a late frost
and then this
urgotte was also found somehow or another
during this time period
i think it’s just speculation
but it’s much more educated speculation than the idea
that the men were under the
spell of these women they decided to kill them
that doesn’t make any sense
i think they probably
did the acid from the wheat and then killed the cunts
that’s probably what it was
you know that’s why
i was a witch trial
those probably the cuntiest women in the town
they probably just let’s cook these major bitches yeah
like these chicks are bad energy
like you’d be around i’m like fucking bitches give me bad vibes
you know because you’re all acid and out
and they probably just started lighting them on fire
i was fucking
let’s kill this bitch
why are we having her around
yeah imagine if that’s really what the witch trials were around
maybe like afterwards people were so nice
they killed all the cunts off
could you imagine that
is that possible ladies and gentlemen
so that makes some who the fuck is calling me
during my goddamn podcast
tape flexer now i’m on fucking u stream bitch
how dare you
all right let’s go back to questions so gentlemen
have i ever seen the northern lights in iceland no
i’ve never seen them in perfect it was so awesome
i’ve seen some shit online though it looks incredible
like the sky becomes like a desktop screen saver
i’ve been seeing way
more falling stars lately
like it’s almost
getting to the point where it’s kind of ridiculous yeah
maybe you’re coming once a week maybe i see it at least one
could you imagine we know for
it doesn’t seem like it’s real like you said and talk about
asteroid impacts oh
the asteroid that killed the dinosaur is sixty five
million years ago
or the one that killed
you know everything before
that the mass extension before
that two hundred fifty million years ago
or the one that ended the ice age
ten thousand five hundred years ago there’s all a speculation
about asteroids
but the real reality is
there are
gigantic hundreds of thousands of gigantic rocks in space
that can fuck us up
every now and then one comes crashing down it’s happened many
many many
many many times
over the history of the life
of the earth it’s happened so many times
and it could easily happen today
it could easily happen tomorrow
it could easily one that comes from behind the sun
and we can’t see it until it’s too late
and the
and it just fucks the whole world up that’s so possible
we don’t like to think it’s possible
because it’s never happened
but i always like to
actually i always say it’s like an ant hill
that human life is like an ant hill
like if you
are an ant and you’re living in an ant hill you were probably
born in that ant hill
and that ant hill is all you’ve ever known i mean aunt
how long did ants live like a week
a couple weeks
something like that
so say like this ant hill’s been around for six months
that’s been through the generations after generations long dead
have made this ant hill
and then you know your toilet away and your little ant
hill and one day some kid is walking through the field
and he sees that ant hill and just boom boom
just starts to stomp on it for no fucking reason
and then your aunt hills crushed out of nowhere
you never thought it was gonna happen
it’s always been fine
everything’s always been cool with the aunt hill
if you had to
take a gas and you had to make a gamble
you would say yeah yeah
this aunt hill’s always gonna be here it’s always been here
always will be here bam some kid just stomps the fuck out of it
that can happen to people
that can happen to earth katrina katrina how about detroit
tap him like that slow
slowly somebody has a magnifying glass on that detroit
i watched anthony bourdain how to show
about michigan the other night and he was there
they were driving through detroit oh
that’s horrible
terrible you ever want some anthony borden show
it’s good show makes you hungry
he goes oh it’s your food show yeah
eats all there’s no reservations right fucking shows
makes me so hungry
nasa says
there’s an asteroid with the possibility of hitting earth
in twenty twenty nine yeah
there’s a bunch of them out there that they don’t know about
they come their problem is the skies to goddamn big
i mean it’s covering everywhere
shit’s coming from the north pole and the south pole
and you never know where something’s coming
from i mean it could be coming from anywhere
you never know
there could be something head in our way
they just we haven’t picked up on
could be behind something
we don’t see it
gravity distorts
our view of things as well like if you look at the sun
you can literally
you know you look at some of the telescope
you can see things behind the sun
because of the distortion and the gravity
of the sun because it’s so massive
i don’t understand how that works
but that apparently is how it works and so
there’s occasionally things that could be hiding behind
something that’s coming straight at us
and we don’t even fucking see it until it’s too late
you know there’s just not enough human beings out there
monitoring the sky to really accurately predict
you know well
we’re we have a hundred percent clear skies
nothing’s gonna hit us for the next two hundred years
they don’t know that
they can’t say that
there’s always something
that comes real close that just barely misses us
and they go whoa holy shit that was three miles long
and they missed us by
two hundred thousand miles that’s not much you know
okay let’s go to some questions you dirty bitches
nabiro in two thousand twelve says the anti chris
mmm so some people think
did you ever see the two thousand twelve movie yes
horrendously bad really bad not even worth
even the special effects sucked oh really
they’re i mean it was awesome things were happening
but it didn’t look real
like the cars there is a limo and it’s jumping things
and landing fine and driving off and they
looked all computer generated and silly
you know it’s like
every five seconds the fucking you know
the car was almost going off the cliff
but barely made it you know
it’s like come on stop
stop with your nonsense
this guy here
an easy dog down below seven says
yeah i believe in god how did everything originate
but how did god start
hmm oh that’s an easy question
how do you
answer it
what do you do
the real problem is believing in anything
you know that’s that’s the real problem
real problem is believing in anything it’s not
believing in god
or believing in jail the real problem is believing in anything
you don’t know we don’t know
god created a really good video game and we’re all in it
that’s possible
that this is like god’s version of the sims right
and this is on somebody’s phone but wait
you know we’re not even like a good video
game we’re just like a fucking cell phone video
show that people
play when they kill times waiting in line to target right
right we’re breaking breaker where it’s called
the real problem
with believing in god is that believing in god
just makes people feel better
you know it’s not
saying that god doesn’t exist
it’s very possible that god exists
but you don’t have that information
no one does you can decide
that you have that information because it empowers you
you can decide that there’s a god because
it makes you feel more comfortable or it makes you feel more
you know that there’s a future to this world
and after you die there’s something waiting for you
and that gives you confidence
and that gives you that it can empower you
that works for a lot of people
i know a lot of fighters who are very religious and
that belief and god that actually empowers them and it
can work that way but it really is just
a tool it’s just a psychological tool that they’re using
to empower them it doesn’t necessarily help them
you know what helps them is the state of mind
that they put themselves in by believing in god
you know
it’s a really kind of a funny thing it’s a catch twenty two
believing in god can empower you
the ideas of christianity are very empowering ideas
the idea is that
you know that you know love your man as if he is you
and you know look
do unto others as if you would have them
do unto yourself
and you know turn the other cheek and don’t be violent and
be helping and be loving and
and be humble and worship god
the idea of god what god
is god is life
and energy and the whole universe
and that you treat the whole process as it’s one gigantic
fantastic thing
and that in
going to a religious service and in practicing
you know any sort of a religion and
like sticking to a certain ethic
the what you’re doing is committing to positive energy
and if you commit to that positive energy then those
positive thoughts in this positive way of thinking
that’s empowering
that really will help you and if you really do believe
that you have a destiny and that god has
carved out this destiny for you
that’s an empowering thing that should
that shit will absolutely
make you better things you say that’s evidence of god
that’s evidence of jesus well maybe
but more
likely it’s evidence that you’ve put yourself in the exact
proper state of mind to achieve things
by thinking positive and having positive energy and being
a loving christian by doing all those things
you’ve put the good energy out there
and you’ve given yourself confidence
because you’re doing the right thing
and you’ve given yourself
a strong belief in yourself
because you’re following the right path
and in doing that that’s very empowering
that’s how god is real that’s how religion is real
what it really all is at the heart of it is you tuning in to
the correct frequency of the universe
with the least amount of resistance
the least amount of resistance from you
the least amount of negative thinking the least amount of front
he like when i was a kid
i’d get an arguments all the time with everybody about anything
and really
i was just a knucklehead i was just a dumb fuck
but i didn’t realize that by doing that
by creating all this drama in my life
like i i
was just distracting the shit out of me
and it was keeping me from doing things that i wanted to do
it was keeping me from being happy and comfortable
and friendly and
keep me from
like i was constantly in a state of causing trouble and
causing drama and creating all these obstacles in my own life
and i didn’t realize it at the time
and i was thought of people that were religious
i was thought well
there’s got to be a lot of power in that because
like i was afraid of a dude who was
religious who was on one of the us
taikundo teams back when i was fighting there’s his dude
i think his name was bobby clayton
and i think that’s his name don’t
but he wasn’t the best guy
but he was crazy religious
and that used to scare the shit out of me
this dude used to read the bible every day
and this dude was like super super
super religious and he really believed in himself
and i was you know not very religious and even though i was
doing really well in these tournaments and i was
beating a lot of really good guys there was something
about this dude and his religion that scared me
like on paper
he shouldn’t have been the scariest guy to me but he was
for whatever reason because
this dude was really religious so for you know
that belief that he had in himself that
the belief in his faith and his
that all that shit was
empowering to him
and i recognized that it was empowering to him
he was really legit about it
and that he was his super religious behavior he was never
he never swore he didn’t drink he was friendly to everyone
he was like really
really really dedicated and that was
that may be nervous
i think religion is empowering brian has been a huge
advocate of scientology ever since he moved to hollywood
i mean tell us about your experiences with scientology there
they’re sluts they’re easy to yeah
they’re real easy to sleep with
really just have to trick them and
just a lot of positive energy
and stuff like that is that what you do yeah
and you just take their money and they sleep with you
that’s great damn
do you hear that
is uh the scientology have a thing with
fucking are you a lot of fuck
no yeah you’re a lot of fuck yeah
it’s all it is no you don’t have to be married or anything no
i don’t think so yeah when any new religion comes around
you can’t be i’m not scientologist by the way he’s lying
i think if i had to pick one religion
like if you had to do it i’d be buddhist
yeah that seems like
the one that makes the most sense but the problem with
being a buddhist
is you got to hang around with a bunch of fucking phonies
a bunch of people who are pretending to be buddhists you know
yeah they all smelly feet yeah looks like
it’s like the idea of hippies it’s all
good on paper
but the real problem with hippies is
you know they don’t want to work
they’re fucking lazy and stupid a lot of them and
you know it’s like
the stereotypes of like the pot smoking lazy you know
nair do wells like that’s
that’s like
accurate in a lot of ways that’s the real problem with hippies
you know
what’s buddhist women look like i don’t think
i’ve ever seen a buddhist women do good vegetarians
all right yeah
did they have like bald heads
no intros ladies and gentlemen
i gotta take a shit again
so i can’t believe this
we ate sausage subs at this local place
down the street they’re a little bit too strong
too powerful five hundred twenty four viewers
i appreciate this
i will be only a couple minutes
but brian will answer questions while i’m gone
i only be gone for a
couple minutes
my bathroom is right down here i’ll be right back
all right
what’s the chemical
bod rail you asked what the chemical structure on
joe started on the spike comedy central
if you
ask questions
i’ll answer them and you relate what i’m saying how about
that that’s a dmt though yeah
and those shirts will be for sale soon
joe will have it on his website they’re trying to get the
website together
to sell
he’s going to have a whole bunch of
different kinds of shirts and clothing
i guess so that’ll be coming soon
it’s a whole clothing line
do you get ever get tired of all these stupid people
asking you about drugs
i think you just
you just get tired of stupid people i don’t care about drugs
no he doesn’t get to
what else
a lot of the same questions
have you ever heard of yuri geller
that’s not one of the same ones psychic
there you go
should i take dmt
no you should not take dmt if you’re asking joe on a twitter
if you’re
our aliens among us yes they’re asian
i think all aliens are asian are some kind of breed of asian
because they’re just higher technology than
us regular white people
we’re more cavemen they’re more alien
let’s go back to your rogan board forms
jorogan net there’s a whole thread
with people asking questions on there also
i can can you use stream over the iphone yeah i believe so
but it’s probably only good if you use wifi
what’s the best place you ever done stand up
there’s no one best place but my favorite places are austin
favorite places are austin texas
phoenix arizona
san francisco
san francisco too
kalamus ohio
any updates on brocklessner’s health is everyone’s asking
i haven’t heard anything
about it i think it’s gonna take a long
time for the resort that out
he hasn’t heard anything
new it’s gonna take a long time for them to sort all that out
right band you seem to be pretty much
up on technology what’s the single piece of technology
equipment that would be available to the public
you are most excited about in two thousand ten
i think
a lot of people who know me i’m excited for the new apple
tablet like an oversized iphone
so net net books are so popular right now
and i just find that that’s just
going to be what’s next after netbooks and iphones
i’m back
i just took another tremendous shit
oh you trailed it in
brian’s upset that my shit stinks
which we know what do you expect man
is it that bad yeah i like some more all right
i’ll try to enjoy the like it all right
oh that’s great
yeah i’m faking it why
i shouldn’t have to fake it i should just act like it’s mine
yeah why don’t you do that okay it’s mine no it doesn’t work
it’s so stupid it should work
what do we got here
give me some questions
i think your twitter timed out on this page
through just a cloud just blew through the room and refresh this
this shows good
tell your stomach are you burp
we just aided this italian place
down the street tremendous sausage and pepper sub
we get a like an east coast sausage and pepper sub in la
what was it called cavalrys cavalry some of that ew oh
i made a good fellows posters were in there
okay questions d right
wipe from the front to back or back to front
that’s a good question
i never thought about that
i’m a dude and i’m wiping my ass not my vagina
so i guess front to back
d stand up yes well i wiped yeah yeah
did you know we’re rare
most people sit down when they wipe they can’t get the job
i know i don’t understand it also
you said you always p sitting there that’s kind of no
how dare you
how dare you i’ll tell you something
about my toilet though that you probably didn’t want to know
but you probably already know if you follow me on twitter
you can’t first of all you can’t
flush those flushable wipes that’s bullshit
they say you can flush those things yeah they’ll disappear
but they’re gonna clog up your fucking toilet
those flushable butt wipes that you get
you gotta use just toilet well
you’ve been getting
the fleshable kind they’re disposable kind yeah
but they’re not
they’re not fleshable because i love the first
like month of using those
i thought they were all fleshable
and then i saw that little picture on the back i’m like oh
clogged the shit out of your toilet yeah well
mine got clogged up and they had to come and fucking
clean it out rescue it cost a lot of money
but the big thing is that i have a fucking
plant growing in my toilet yeah
you saw that shit right
it was ridiculous it was a gigantic tree that was growing
in my toilet like they found roots and they pulled it out
and i put it up on twitter
i think a lot of people have seen it
let me see if i can find this
i’ll see if i can find it i’ll throw the link back up
maybe it’s on my flicker page i mean it was so ridiculous
i mean it was so ridiculous that i looked at and i was like
how the fuck was that growing
inside my toilet
but i guess it was the water
you need to start updating your flicker brother oh i do right
see my photo string must have had it okay
i know i had it on twit pick right
maybe that’s what it was yeah
these are my
snow and colorado photos yeah it’s on in here
i put it up in a second
it’s good twist twitter
you need some music in here right now
why not that’s against all
what is it you’re streaming music
if i do this
and i have music playing the background we can’t do it
it’ll be arrested come on
this isn’t it’s not a toot pick
you know
that’s the problem with using all these different goddamn yeah
programs y frog or
i don’t know
what the other one is or how the other one works so fuck that
i’ll find picture back then you’re gonna find it for you guys
i don’t even know the fucking photo is
now i have to go to iphoto
i apologize to this ladies and gentlemen
this is not very entertaining isn’t it
you don’t even give a fuck
you do give a fuck when you see the picture
though the pictures are
so ridiculous that this goddamn thing was actually
growing inside my toilet bowl
it seems like it’s not gonna be worth the way to do is google
toilet tree geroid
it would be out there you think so yeah
do do do do do
god damn this there it is look at this motherfucker
come in come on man look at that fucking thing
that shit’s ridiculous
i gotta show you guys this this shit is ridiculous
it looks like i’m like i’m mupping real
it doesn’t even look real it looks completely fake
so now go back to flicker
upload this shit
this is
it’s going to be hard for this picture to live up to the hype
of me fiddling through my fucking computer
man it’s trying to get this picture to you guys
but once you get the picture
i think you’ll appreciate what the fuck
i’m saying because it’s so
ridiculous that this thing was growing in my goddamn toilet
what the fuck where is it i just explored it
sorry i didn’t catch your name earlier
all right it’s uploading right now
thank you jesus
as soon as it uploads
i’ll take the length my internet is so weak
why have you done this yet
what you have to do is make a call i’m going to cross today
clearly make a phone call that’s all you have to do
i think i will you have to be here
with thirty six twenties i’ll do it tomorrow
i’m gonna do it ladies and gentlemen
a lot of people talk about upgrading their internet
i’m gonna pluck and do it
and i’m gonna do it for you guys
because once you do that we could have
separate cams you know could have two cams we have a third cam
if we need to show something else
we have a third cam just be your desktop
so instead of having to upload all these photos
you can just show what’s on your
desktop why would i do that it’s easier
let’s get whatever shop okay
here’s the photo
all sizes
big size
which bathroom was that going in here yeah
what do you think about the mayweather packing in the situation
i think they’re genius minus thirty eight really how
is you not twitter twenty years old
why isn’t it just do it for you
i was doing tweet jet
because it’s a whack program
shit their twitter program is whack
doesn’t even shrink your urls
who never thought that that would be a business
dude it’s gotten big we’re getting a tiny url business yeah
what are you talking about how to make people website
names roshmall yeah
one of who the fuck
would i ever thought that there would be a market for that
one of the websites
i can’t remember i don’t think it’s tiny url
but it’s one of them like
almost got bought the other day for
like a couple million dollars
and that’s all it is is a url shorten that’s hilarious
all right i put it up your fuckers
that’s another one that was growing
all right sorry for the long delay that was ridiculous
wasn’t even that interesting
but it is kind of interesting i put the picture up
you can go see the picture it’s on my twitter
what’s next
after a weekly rogan podcast in the book what’s next project
there are no next projects
this is about it this is about all we’re gonna do
a weekly podcast
we’re doing a show for sony it’s gonna be called
lfmao but no we might have to call it something different yeah
because we’ve been trying to do it for like two years and now
there’s a band called
lmale or something like that they’re close
we’ll come over the name for it but it’s basically
interviewing communions about the created process and
we’re also enter in the middle of coming up with another show
that it’s comedy related that i can’t talk about
but it should be fun that and just more shows more comedy
more good stuff is fear factor returning anytime no
it’s not
no there was a rumor that no
yeah there was a rumor for a while
they were gonna try to bring fear factor back
there’s fear factor when they canceled it was like
it was kind of like
they could have kept it going if they really wanted
i think that’s a show that could come back easily
i’ll do that shit
and if you did it without me
it wouldn’t have the flavor yeah
i’m sure it would probably be great
if they did it with mario lopez no
you can’t pass up on that easy money if you do that
especially if you’re working with all the same people again
stuff i might be willing to do it just for my kids just
put money away
what’s your movie kind
damn october should i move to colorado
i loved colorado man
sideshow sid said should i move to colorado
i fucking loved it
i would still be there i didn’t mind a cold i like the people
i like the sky i like the way
the fucking mountains looked i like the vibe
i liked everything
about it i liked it from me
creatively i liked living in colorado
but you know when you have
a family you have children you have a wife and
it’s not it’s not as easy as just me being by myself
it was out it was just me by myself i’d probably
still be there i’d still be on the top of that mountain
she was not into it it was just too creepy
when our dog got eaten our dog got eaten by a mountain line
that’s not like
a rumor that actually happened dog got eaten by a mountain line
and she’s bad driving in snow she crashed the car
so it was a couple different things
and then she got pregnant
and the pregnancy was the biggest reason
why we had to move out of colorado
it’s because we were
living over eight thousand feet
above sea level
it’s really hot
it’s like three or three thousand feet above boulder
and it’s a really really high altitude and when you’re pregnant
it’s just brutal
really it’s not good for you
it’s unhealthy for you and for the baby
colorado is like one of the highest
states in the country
like one of the top states in the country
when it comes to premature
births and a lot of it is because the altitude
just you don’t get enough air up there
it’s just it’s great for your conditioning
but it’s not so good for
being a pregnant woman
so all those factors
i had to move out of colorado but
if i could just be somewhere and live somewhere
live in colorado oh
in a heartbeat if i didn’t have to travel
stay in colorado or you know deal with snow when it comes hey
you’re fucking snowed in no big deal
that’s what it’s supposed to be like
the problem with me is i travel all the time so
i would leave my wife and leave the kids there it’s not the same
by myself i’d have no problem with it i loved it
so if you are gonna move somewhere and stay there
i would say yeah colorado’s fucking badass
it’s my favorite state
do you think there will be a time
when all handheld axes will have a pipe in them
like the tomahawk
is that what a tomahawks were
there were a pipe and an axe all in one
is that true
if that’s true the indians were bad motherfuckers
i don’t think
that’s i think that dude just went to a renaissance festival
and carried away
because i mean if you think about it if it was a pipe off well
listen this is the beauty of the internet right now
we’ll google this
did tomahawks have pipes on
i think there might have been a couple that did
but i don’t think the majority of that well
i speculate let’s find out
that just doesn’t seem right
it seems like it would just make the weapon
weaker having a hole through the middle of it yeah
that’s true it’s a good point
maybe it’s enough
yeah i’m gonna make pipe tomahawks
let’s say
pipe axis
the crazy crow trading post show me a pipe bags
these really pipes
historically accurate pipe axes
we have spent years researching and manufacturing the finest
line of throwing tomahawks
pipe tomahawks belt and camp axes available today
did you even know there was a market for that kind of shit
that’s the beautiful thing about the internet
let’s see what this thing looks like i don’t see the pipe part
where’s the pipe part
hand drilled for smoking wow
sounds like any hand forge iron head drilled for smoking
so basically the pipe is this
you put some tobacco up in that bitch right there
and you smoke right out of there
or do you smoke out of here
no i think you smoke out of there wow well
it just seems like i make
the handle weaker and the weapon weaker yeah
it’s what definitely would
but but this seems like it’s like really hardwood
look this one’s got a metal piece through it
original eighteen hundred to eighteen twenty five believe
to belong to red cloud
wow that’s pretty dope red cloud
didn’t think it out dude
i think we should start smoking pipe from a fucking tomahawk
we got to order one of those
come on man we’ll do the podcast we’ll smoke out of that
that’s ladies and gentlemen what say you on twitter
i need to order this right
i’m gonna order this add to basket listen click that’s right
that’s added to the basket
all right i’m gonna check out now i’ll check out later
because i don’t want you guys to get bummed out at me
it was boring enough looking for that toilet tree
coming up on two hours we just make this two hours
do you think why you getting bored huh
you don’t like it anymore no
i just think we should keep it two hours someone doesn’t like
the other video
someone doesn’t think it’s fun anymore
all right let’s go back
four and a seventy one motherfuckers in here
we lost a lot of people
for being really boring
yeah to see two hours of things is just about right
you want them wanting more not less
is that what we want ladies and gentlemen
is that is he right is he correct
i know for about two hours what is it
where’s the top left with every blinking light is right here
yeah we are i think after two hours also doesn’t
save maybe or something
i think after two hours people start hateness yeah
fucking faggots got nothing to talk about
boring ass shit
so so far we’ve answered questions we put photos up on twitter
we’ve talked about some heavy subjects
what more do you need ladies and gentlemen
we’re all living in an aliens petri dish says dockens twenty
you know that’s possible
it’s time and illusion
shred four thirty one wants to know if time’s an illusion
i don’t think it’s an illusion
i just don’t think time is just one thing
you tell that to david copperfield hmm
i think time is you know
i mean we already know that time changes when you go fast
like if someone’s in a super fast spaceship
you know and they go like a speed of light like time
goes by much quicker on earth than it doesn’t in their plane
so if they come back and they’re super fast spaceship
you know for them it’s only been a year
but for us
it could be like a hundred years depending on how far and fast
they go so time moves
in a way that i don’t i don’t i don’t think it’s
the way we look at it i don’t think it’s
cut and dry like
you know this is midnight and this is one o’clock i think it’s
it’s much more dependent upon the state that the
human beings and like
the frequency the persons and
where the person’s living
you know that you’re living on earth you know this dimension
you know that there’s
the time varies throughout other dimensions
and you can access those dimensions i mean
if they really do come up with ships
that can fly through space at you know close to speed
alive or something they really will be able to go
to a place where they’re literally going forward in time
they all have lived
one year
they come back to earth and hundreds of years have gone back
that’s just that’s nutty shit and that’s real
i don’t think we understand time enough
i think time is one of those things that
we think we got a grip on what it really is
but it’s probably far
more complex and confusing and variable than we think
i think we should get rid of daylight to savings time
because i think it’s bullshit that it’s fucking
pitch black outside and it’s only six thirty yes
he’s absolutely right farmers they’re all fucking thiefs what
how dare you yeah
but seriously what are you a giant melon camp hater back
then it made sense because everybody was a farmer you know
everything had to do with farmers
nowadays why didn’t they just get up earlier
i get it i don’t get it
it makes sense i think you know if you have a regular job
you know sometimes it’s dark out
sometimes it’s light out the fucking earth spence
that’s what i love about arizona
the arizona they don’t change their time
they like fuck you yeah no
it’s stupid well
they need to even do it better than that they need to
really fuck it up like
i want it to be bright out to like nine to ten o’clock at night
don’t you think that’d be cool yeah
but then it would be dark out until like noon
yeah but that’s fine no
it’s retarded i’m just as retarded as that
it makes no sense most people would rather like to
have a day like i don’t know
many people would rather have daylight when they get off work
don’t you think
i think that’s silly
i think it’s silly
i spell twitter long round my link i know i did
i think i can fix it though i think it’s too late
it is
it is what it is
now you don’t get there what do you do that other program
oh that’s right
that’s a little motherfucker right here checks our shit
right in there right
it’s not
yeah it’s just never sharing the whole thing why is it marshall
because it’s like two lines you know what i mean
if you hit the right button
say right yeah
put it a joe log
i fix that shit
didn’t change
all right
this guy’s trying to be funny
steve whizzy trying to be funny steve whizzy
says besides carlos menseia who are your other favorite
you don’t like carlos menseida why
that’s what does make sense these are being a silly goose
my favorite comedians though for real
are guys why i look forward to seeing like louis c k
david tale dougstan hope definitely
there’s a riser
cat williams
see him live only see him on video
cat williams was on tmz yesterday
he just got out of jail or something like that
and he got in a fight at a bar and he had a gun in his pocket
i like it he’s crazy
cats crazy
yeah he’s crazy for real
i want to meet that dude
i thought i like his comedy i think he’s very funny
jerry listen to him on
grand theft auto no is he good yeah
he does like the voice well no
they have a comedy club in grand theft auto you can go in and
watch comedy
i like it
if not telepathy what’s next for human evolution
johnny bananas twenty one wants to know boobs for men
if not telepathy
what snacks for human evolution probably
a reversal if if it not telepathy if we we’re
i think we’re in a race right now
between technology and retards between technology
and caveman style living
you know they’re talking about invading pakistan
invading yemen and more war and more craziness
you know we’re at
a crossroads and i think we could either get hit by a meteor
or blow ourselves up or
figure out the next level figure out what
what’s going to take human beings
from where we are to the next stage of existence
which is like a real thing
i mean i think we’re really going to evolve
we’re really moving toward something new
you know i think that’s what this
this frantic fucking society we live in is all about i think
we’re pushing and moving toward something
all working together
toward something and i think it’s gonna be technology driven
so it’s one of those things either that’s gonna happen
there’s gonna be some sort of a
connection that all people
all the sudden share some sort of a
some sort of a convergence
of all human being it’s either gonna be that
or it’s gonna be we blow ourselves up
or a meteor fucks us up or yellowstone explodes
and we start from scratch
you know
what if what if in the future the first robot to get pregnant
imagine imagine you figure out a way to get machines so
closely tuned into human beings
that you can fuck them and get them pregnant yeah
i think that’s very possible man
don’t you anything’s possible at this point
that’s not that crazy
you know i mean they can make so many things
artificially they figured out a way to make pork
in a laboratory
actual the meat they could take some of the meat from a pig
and they make an elaboratory the problem is it’s not
really like mushy because it doesn’t exercise at all
and it’s not like it’s not like taught sinew
but they’re trying to figure out a way to maybe
electrically exercise
the muscle you could literally like
just make gigantic like rooms full of meat
you know that doesn’t even have a life attached to it
if they can do that
if they can do that
why can’t they if they can
figure out a way to grow meat
why can’t they
figure out a way to make an artificial human being
that’s gonna be just like blade runner though
they’re gonna be all sad and shit
they don’t want to kill you hahaha
you know
I mean you have to give emotions
if you don’t give them emotions then you know
they can’t relate to people
they can’t empathize with people
then they just go on mad raping and killing sprees
because if you make artificial people
what if you make them
they get hard ons and should
you know my calculator has a boner fucked by a robot
I mean if you make the females you can make males too
like for like old gay dudes
you know like
dudes would want
you know like to have a robot fuck doll
right but gay dudes would want some
robot gay dude that they can fuck
you know can you imagine if they could make a real live
like say if there’s a guy who was your neighbor
who was really creepy and he was fixated on you
and he make a robot that looks exactly like you
and just fuck it all day long
and punch it and tie it up and shit on its head
and there’s nothing you can do about it
so literally next door
to your fucking house
this guy’s like
the robot head out the window and waving to you
look look I’m pissing his mouth and it’s like you
but it’s a fake you
and he’s just fucking it up all day
how disturbing would that be
there’s nothing you can do about it
do you have the papers on this
it’s on a real human sir and they show the papers okay
I guess it’s a robot
I mean if it’s a robot right
look if I have a grappling dummy in
my garage that I use and I practice my jujutu
you know and you could practice positions on it
it’s like it’s called above a dummy it’s a gracie
you can buy from
the gracie academy and torrents
they’re the ones who start selling their website
I forget what the website is
but if you look up bubba dummy
it’s a dummy that’s just a san frigid jitsu
and we filmed once
playing around
remember we’re in the
in the garage
we are beaten to shit out of it and kick it in
what if that was a real person
I mean it’s a dummy that we made
but what if it’s a robot person
what if there’s like a robot person
that you could practice jujitsu on
you could rape him
you could punch him in the face
you could just beat the shit out of him
you could chop his arms off
he’d be screaming and yelling and the cops come in
you look at the fake person
yeah but the laws would have to probably change
that artifact intelligence is just the same
you know because then I mean wow
yeah because I mean a dog
isn’t as smart as a human but you’re not gonna
let it chop the dog’s legs off and stuff
you make a robot that has artificial intelligence
it’s still gonna be considered artificial intelligence
I think
yeah but do you think
they’ll treated the same way as a human being
like I think if the laws it’ll be like murder right
I think if it
can think it’s gonna be considered life
before they figure that out there’s gonna be a little
oh yeah we’ve been a couple years of master Maine
next romance we
have a direct
replica view and he’s gonna
fuck its mouth right in front of your window
right he’s gonna blow an air harp manee
look out the window
what the fuck is he doing you looking these
fucking your head right
and you think about it like what if that was me
what if I was the duplicate
and the real me was watching me get raped
it’s weird shit that could be real that could be real
that could really be a possibility
you know what I’m surprised is that
there’s not technology yet where
we can I could
have a program
and type out shit and make it sound exactly like you
yeah like you know like you
listen to your voice and do the exact levels
so like you can prank call with your mom
you know
something like that is there should be that already
this should be that
totally yeah why haven’t they figured that out
yeah it seems easy
you know what’s really ridiculous to
is that you still have to sign things
you scribble your name
how damn yeah
and this is stupid
because I mean I write taco or a penis
they don’t even care
they don’t look at it they don’t check your I need no
I don’t sign my credit cards
I guess if you look at my driver’s license
I scribble my name on that
it’s a similar scribble
but what are these fucking people that work at target
are they scribble experts
yeah then you can look at that scribble I don’t know
this is not the same guy
yeah sometimes I write full sentences honest to god
yeah it’s ridiculous
how is that still around this
you write something
with your name and that’s legally binding
if you write something with your name you know I mean
like you know
when I got married
I had to get a marriage certificate and you had a right
that’s what ties you up when you write it right
you see I would do that
see I would write this is not real
and but they’re scribble
because then I tend to go to my hood
yeah if I get a divorce I got no serve
you could see I wrote this is not void on it
I wonder if that would stand up
that was not valid
I don’t know maybe
maybe you could say at it it’s like shit
or that could say well we have
we have the documents you signed
then you could look at and go look what I wrote
yeah it says this is not real
married maybe just sign I do not agree to this
I’m a gun is being held up to my head right now
yeah so much time
they have my dog hostage
robots will have rights after a while
so that’s a guy watched that will smith movie
ai no ai too
I so they need to make an ai movie like with the kid
but like like you know sex
was it I am robot yeah I am robot
that was
that was pretty good movie that’s a good movie
everything was mac
remember all the robots look like macs yeah
does gilbert ivo have a chance against those santos
this guy’s talking about
I’m out here against ufc
is that when you leave
you won’t talk about ufc
we’ll answer one eoc question yes he does
gilbert either is dangerous
a really good striker he’s a dangerous motherfucker
and he knows this is a big opportunity for him
he’s gonna come charge and guns blazing
don’t you think it’s stupid
when people ask he’s gonna win the fight
because obviously it’s a fight for a reason
meaning that there’s not an obvious
winner of this fight
so most of the time is not an obvious winner but most
of the time I mean there’s a lot of times when when
everybody agrees that a certain guy’s gonna win
I mean it doesn’t mean that you’re right
but in this fight
this guy doesn’t know that much
about this gilbert ivo guy probably
and you know he wonders
I think gilbert’s got a real good chance
he’s dangerous if he trains hard
if he’s in real good shape he’s
very very dangerous he knocks a lot of guys out
his knockout of gary good rich in
pride was like
one of the most spectacular knockouts ever
head kicked them
boomed one shot like
10 seconds into the fight and put them asleep
you know those questions though
you can ask a dog to bark once for yes
and bark two for no
and they have the same
percentage of the outcome of the question and
the answer that you know what I mean
like if you say yeah that person’s gonna win
well I never say someone’s gonna win
but someone’s
I’ll tell you if someone’s good or not
you don’t know if someone’s gonna win
okay no more sports questions
order it I’m gonna order that
the tomahawk pipe
next broadcast hopefully if they get it to me in time
we will have a tomahawk pipe
I think that’s a fucking awesome item
like you need another pipe
I need a tom awk like a motherfucker
that would be kind of cool I
think especially since it’s a direct
of something from a dude named red cloud
oh there you go look at those fanny packs
they have oh they have a sweet fanny pack
look at that let’s meet out of a quilt
oh that’s like a shoulder bag
I don’t do shoulder bags that’s what goddamn purse
okay fanny pack is fucking manly
that’s a manly shit
all right
let’s go to the rogan board and see questions there
why is fanny pack manly
I’ll tell you why fanny packs manly
because if you’re wearing a fanny pack first of all
you’re saying I don’t give a
fuck what you think about how I look
you know you just
slapping this big stupid gay thing around your waist
you’re like whatever
I have two hands free
and I’m happy I’m not trying to look good for you
I’m not trying to fuck you
I’m not trying to get you to be my friend
I like having all my shit in a bag that cannot get laid
yeah I’m not trying to get laid
so if people talk about oh
man how can you wear a fanny pack
that’s okay it’s a bag that connects to my waist
this is silly
the only reason
why you don’t think it’s good looking
is because women think it’s disgusting
and women think it looks gay
so women have
figured out a way to
bully guys
into not wearing it by telling us that looks gay
why would you care what kind of a bag another man wears
dear unless he’s wearing a
bright pink hello kitty strap
it covers up your crotch yeah
it does cover up my crotch
it’s right there
so if there’s like a micrometer
there comes from outer space
and could potentially
hit me in the dick
it’s gonna hit myself on first or perhaps my wallet
it’s right there
it’s easy for travel
when I go to the airport I unbuckle that thing
bang put it on my car keys are in there
my cell phones in there woo
fanny packs of the shit sun
that would be cool of gay people love the smell farts
didn’t joe joke about that for a while
this fella says
why are you gonna come to the east coast of Canada
I don’t like the east coast of Canada I’m just kidding
we were in Montreal
last April that was fun
I’ll be back
I’ll definitely be back up there
all right page two
we were going to the rogan board right now
to answer questions
what do I think about jersey shore
I don’t like
jersey shore as much as I thought I would like it
because I knew too many dudes like that growing up
to me it’s like more annoying and stupid
it’s fun for like a couple seconds so you fish pump
you know but after a while it’s just
it’s fake
this is my theory am I talking to my theory no
I think kind of like when the hills first came out
everyone thought that was real
then slowly
got to the point where everyone figured out it was
a fake show that’s filmed to look real
I think jersey sure is real
yeah they’re way too dumb to add but did you know
half of them are
like male strippers that had to audition
like they’re all in the entertainment field
it’s called jersey shore instead of the hills
you know I bet you anything
and the years of that yeah
I bet you anything
and they all live in this house
it’s really nice like real world house
yeah you know what I mean but that’s the real people
it’s really a genius show
if you look at it that way right
but I think in three years we’re all gonna be like
knowing it’s fake like that fight
somehow’s fake and everything I really
the wasn’t fake when I do punch that girl in the face
yeah unless that chick is like a
you know stomp woman and they fucking
practiced it for like 50 years you know
I don’t know
if they practiced the punch a lot you know
I mean you look at movies and you look at that punch
it looks real
they filmed it like to look fake
hmm I don’t know
I think
that dude got drunk and punched that bitch in the case
listen someone said
would I have full blown
aids or spend one year in mark hayden’s body pick one
you know what full blown aids you could recover from
you know be having one year in marcadan’s body
it would probably be torture
I think full blownades
if you take your vitamins probably be okay
in a couple of weeks
dude you spend one year in markaden’s body
fuck every chicken could possibly fuck
you’re not gonna fuck any of aids
you’re not gonna fuck anybody in markaden’s body
you don’t get aids in markating’s body
you don’t even understand the question
no I’m saying if you have one year in his body
you could just abuse it like
fuck and get the fuck out of there
one year that’s ridiculous
how dare you
let’s end this
let’s end this
all right a couple more questions
then we’re gonna need the fuck out of here
I got to admit some of these questions are really lame
but it could be that we’re really high
and they just seem lame
that’s us distinct possibility
which adds more coffee right now
I apologize for the wackass internet
I really am gonna fix that
should I go at amp t
u verse or should I go comcast cable charter
charter charter
see anybody know
well this guy says I think red band’s life is fake
how about that fella cho jin two k
he says fake he says your life is fake
I think he said your face is fake
his face is his screen names fake
lucky didn’t you have a picture
let’s just die what would happen what
it’s fake anon fake anon’s not funny
look at this this is the laziest rapist ever
dave broomfield at hotmail
com says hey joe rogan
why don’t you invite me to come
trip with you in your isolation tank
how lazy is he
that’s not how you stock and rape somebody son
it’s gonna you’re gonna take it’s gonna
you’re gonna have to be a little more clever than that
that’s ridiculous
fuck how kind of this
we got a fake brett rogers
hey joe roger did you see my last fight
no fake brett rogers I didn’t
but rogers is not on Twitter
ladies and gentlemen that’s a fake bet rogers
the rail bet
rogers is a bad motherfucker but that’s not him
but it was really funny when the fake brett rogers
was having an argument with a real
war machine
that was pretty funny
war machine didn’t get it
thought it was all really happening
brian you stop talking a while ago
what happened have you given up on us
I get to the cutoff point where I’m just
tired of staring at computer yeah
while having a company in indian headdress to go with
my tomahawk pipe
says amuse 90
94 yeah that’s a very good question
and I think yes I think if we’re gonna really
get in touch with spirit world we’re
gonna need full indian entire do you think
yeah we’re gonna need the whole thing
man we’re gonna need
feathers and shit and
the you know the correct type of weed
gotta make sure we only smoke
what the indian smoke smell
our condoms smoke
no not those indians american indians
not india indians
did I see the girl mosh pit
I washed it for a couple seconds but it was like
one of those
terrorist videos where they cut some dude’s head off
after a while
I like just shut it off
let’s see if any of these questions don’t suck
I think if anything came out of this
somewhere someone right now is thinking about designing
robot where you clone your neighbor
and make a robot out of them
and then fuck them and rape them in front of them
somebody is thinking about that and I think
if this chat has done anything good for the world
it’s introduced that idea
that possibility out there
of making a call in a view
you know what’s gonna suck is
we’re gonna be like 90 years old
and they’re gonna make the
perfect fuck robot
but we’re gonna be so old
we’re not gonna even care anymore
we’re just gonna get the
I don’t even want pushy
I’ll tell you that it was ruining my life
yeah yeah
I guess but they’ll probably have more problems
than than we have now
you know we’ll probably look back on these days
and oh remember the simple times
you just get on the internet and drive to work
you have to worry about monsters and aliens and
ufos and fucking
you know the hyena flu that’s killing everybody lately
you know
that’s the next one
something scary like pig food doesn’t scare ya
bird flu that doesn’t scare
the fucking
hyena flu is gonna scare the shit out of you
you know it’s a flu that came from hyena it’s holy shit
yeah from from eating their own young
they came up with a fucking crazy new flu and it’s
everyone who gets it dies
i’m gonna be wearing
what beekeepers outfits everywhere
fucking mask first cat in california last week
got the first h one in one
reeling peopleday cat
so maybe it’s gonna be cats
we’re gonna have to kill our cats
or something like that
after you have a baby cats become just really annoying
even dogs are annoying like shut the fuck up steepie
baby’s rule
dogs I still like cats
my cat started pissing in my office right after
my child was born
transparent little cunt
so obvious what she wanted
dirty little bitch
couple more questions here let’s go to the robin board
see if we got a good question there
do you ever get mad like in anything
actually piss you off to the point where rogan smashed
I get upset it has to be pretty fucking a bad situation
get me that upset I’m
pretty rational and it comes to most things
I have a I mean
everyone has the ability to freak out or something
it’s just whether or not you choose to let yourself get
there you know
just gotta make sure
I think the most important
thing about not getting mad is manage your biology
you got to treat your biology like it’s a bank account
and if you have you know if you’re in debt
you know you owe it something
if you know you’re overdrafted
you you owe yourself an expenditure of energy
you know especially if you have a certain type of body
if you have a
muscular body
if you have a person who’s
engaged in athletics your whole life
you have a body that’s used to exerting a lot of energy
when you owe it to that body
you have to like you have to a debt to pay
and if you don’t pay that debt
you’re going to have a problem
where you’re going to have too much energy
that’s stored up and built in and not blown out
and it’s going to come out in
unusual ways looking traffic or at work
or whatever
you’ll start
screaming and freaking out about something
you really didn’t need to
and really it’s all just about managing your biology
managing your thoughts
it’s very important to have some down time
where you can sit alone by yourself and just think
that’s very very important for me the
isolation tank does that like times 100
that’s my favorite
but sometimes even just sitting on the couch and just
by myself just thinking
you know you can call it meditation
you can call it whatever the fuck you want
just spending time
to organize your thoughts and put your mind
in a certain place
put your body in a certain place with exercise
with yoga with nutrition all that shit’s important
you gotta manage your biology
and when you manage your biology
it makes managing your mind much
much easier managing your mind managing your biology
that’s the key to not getting upset of things
you fucking faggots what
okay the best art is created from the starving artist
it seems that this is a good question
it seems the best art is created from the starving
artist being wealthy
do you feel it hurts your ability to create art
comedy or do you believe that
not having
to worry about your financial well
being allows you more
time to be creative
that’s a very good question
I think a lot of times people
are much more ambitious when they’re starving
they have much more energy
they have much more
dedication towards something
but that doesn’t mean
that you can’t have a lot of dedication
towards something
when you become successful
it all depends on what was your motivation in the first
if your motivation in the first place was recognition
and adulation
then you become famous and
then you get that
then you have no motivation to keep going
but if your motivation is
the actual art itself is creating new things
then I think you can be more free
as you become successful because
you’re in a position
where you don’t have to worry about money anymore
so you have one less thing to think about
and you’re ambitious in the sense of being creative
instead of concentrating on money
your mind is not
geared on that your mind is geared on the art
that’s how I like to think that I am
and when I’m at my best
that is where I’m at
that’s my mind frame
you know that’s
my point of reference is that I think about
the creation of the art itself
that’s when I’m at my best
if I think about money and I think about like
how much is this going to pay me
and is this worth this
it’s not the same motivation
so it’s you don’t get the same result
it’s not the same passion to it
the passion’s got to be real it’s got to be
my comedy the way in my head
my motivation is all about whether or not people
enjoy it
I don’t want to do anything that people don’t enjoy
I want to make sure that everything that I’m creating
I’m creating it so other people
get enjoyment out of it
that’s the reward that you get for that
as long as you’re concentrating on that
you do no wrong as long as you have
the dynamic in the relationship between
you and the audience
as long as you respect that and as long as your
relationship to the creativity is all
based on just producing more stuff
that’s good that people enjoy
as long as you’re doing it
for that reason
I don’t think you have to worry about
money robbing you of your enthusiasm
but if you were just in it for the money and just
in it for the adulation yeah
you become successful
and then all of a sudden
like you’re not going to want to do it anymore
you’re not going to be
enthusiastic about it anymore
higher flu equal super aids
yeah so I’m talking about
what do I plan on doing
December twenty first two thousand twelve
no I’m gonna stay
if it’s really what peoples are
you gonna go to the Pyramids man
if it’s really what
some people think it is
this convergence is technological convergence where all
human beings will
interface with each other
where someone creates a time machine where some
huge technological breakthrough happens
if that’s what some people think
December twenty first two thousand twelve
yelling collider
or whatever that shit’s called the hydron collider
I think that’s about the time and it’s gonna
if that’s the case and it doesn’t matter where you are
right you should be amongst friends have a gun nearby
maybe brian and I will
do a u stream that day
should we commit to 24h
let’s commit to a u stream right now
we’re going to commit to a u stream for
December twenty first two thousand twelve
right no not really
I think it’s different times in Miami well
in chichinitza the same as Miami
okay it’s just a little bit below that
either way December 20th, 16012
bride and I are committing right now to a u strain
we’re gonna do it
feel strong about that
yeah nothing’s gonna happen
maybe maybe not just gonna happen
that is a possibility
you know I think people
like to know that something’s gonna happen
we have a friend that likes to believe in ufos and
psychics and
kem trails and anything
anything wacky
this dude is just jumps on board you know and I think
it’s just as possible that nothing’s gonna happen
I think that’s more impossible than it’s not
gonna happen you know
I think it’s possible that something might happen
on the day because
everybody’s thinking something’s gonna happen
on the day right
if it’s some
dude sitting somewhere with some bombs I don’t
even think that
I think you know the idea
that we’re gonna force something to happen
by really concentrating it as a
you know as a point of focus
this is one point
yeah but that’s what
everyone thought it’s gonna happen in 2000
that is true
but everybody was waiting for the clocks to break in
was a very specific day rains following from the sky
fucking computer stop working man
I stayed home
I’m embrace stayed home
that was one of the first
1st years where I didn’t do a new year show
because I think I probably was worried
it’s so weird is that everyone was really
freaked out about that
and then we had all this like built up
stress because of it and then
just shortly after 9 11
is like then we finally got the release
all the stress like the world’s ending text
I just remember being really stressed out
thinking something was gonna happen
it seems like right after that nylon
all right that’s quick
it brains much easy to give up
two and a half hours brian doesn’t take vitamins
2h min too much I ate a bag of carrots today
I have a juicer now oh man
a bag of carrots
well we’ve dropped down to four in the 23 viewers
what that says to me is
at least 100 y motherfuckers thought we were boring as
shit yeah
so I think that
how harry is my butt from one to 10 how dare you sir
how dare you big two two thug
from one to 10 my butt
three three or four
I really could use shaving and trimming
I was listening to an old towered stern broadcast
where they were find
and he was fine for talking about shavings but
you know you don’t realize how crazy
those fucking
regular radio shows are like what you can and can’t do
into you hear something like that
but it was inspiring and I was thinking about
trimming my own butt hair
but it could definitely help
solar flares are not in our control
and that’s the thing to worry about says raptor 94
raptor 94 things that solar flares are gonna do us in
fair possible man
nobody fucking no slayer is a gay
make brian clean my room for the next used dream
that’s just my other desk it’s covered with shit
it’s a desk but I really use it as like
a place to just leave shit
I’m a
I have problems las gentlemen
do do do do do do
what bullshit resolutions will you say
you will keep and won’t
no I don’t make resolutions
and it’s not a girl because I’m not a fucking girl
if I wanted to fix something about myself I would start
now I wouldn’t wait
I always say I’m gonna work out more
this year I’m gonna fucking get my shirt together
but for the most part
I put out as much energy as I want to put out
I focus on things as much
as much as I can while still enjoying them
you know
always dancing around obsession
that’s very important
to me whether it’s with comedy or anything else
and with games with anything in my life
I always have to dance around becoming
obsessed with things
so for me it’s just
just enjoy just
try to be balanced and try to consciously
you know just try to have a good time
be positive when I get obsessed with things
whether it’s about
jitsu or comedy or
playing games like pool or video games
I get crazy about things
and I don’t I don’t like that feeling
I don’t like getting obsessed with things
brian you get obsessed with jerking off right
no I do tell you
how much point do you have
I get obsessed with internet though for sure
it feels like I constantly want more information
about everything
and it just branches off more and more and more like
I’ll be looking about what
with how apple sauce is made
but then I need to know about how the apples are grown
you know and just keep on going and going and going
yeah that wasn’t that way when you were kid right
no no at all I
fucking hated reading
and I didn’t want to learn anything
I just wanted to play video games and
isn’t it funny how different when you get older
your idea of information
changes because when I was a kid information
it always meant school meant shit
you have to learn
meant boring meant suck
you know they were all connected together
but then when it’s no longer a requirement then
you find out what you’re actually interested in
you pursue those things
you know yeah
brian just fucking fall asleep on me
believe that shit
the fuck alright my Twitter friends
I think we’re gonna answer one more question
and we’re gonna
he’s fake snoring like the goddamn three stooges
what the f is that mo
are you doing mo
I’m gonna end this curly
it might have been curling it might be right
4012 something very subtle may happen
that we don’t realize for a while
what say it say it
go smoke your aol disk and get off the internet
something subtles happening right now
we will recognize for a while
that’s not what 2012 supposed to be
if that’s what happens then 2012 was bullshit
then it’s 100% bullshit
if December twenty first
two thousand twelve rolls around we just go
nothing I don’t feel anything I don’t feel a thing
then it’s bullshit 100%
it’s not like oh man no there’s a change
you’re just not gonna realize it for a while
no it’s supposed to be
bam it’s supposed to be open a door
here’s a new thing
you know I mean
if the internet turned on
like if there was a day that the internet turned on
we all looked back and said
oh December 10th, 2000 or nineteen ninety three
that’s when the internet turned on
the world changed forever
if there was like a recognized date
first of all that would be way more
important than fucking Columbus day
how about that
how about we study Columbus day and that dude
never even landed in america right
who was in the fucking Bahamas
raping and murdering people and shit
you know and then Columbus day
the internet day is a way
bigger day
for american history than fucking Columbus day
if they came out with an internet day
that would be important
December twenty first two thousand twelve has
to be like that internet day
it has to be a day where we look back and go wow
that day some shit started off
that’s the day that changed everything
that’s what
December twenty first two thousand twelve has gotta be
all the hype behind it
if it’s not that then it’s bullshit
you know this whole idea that it’s the end of an age
so it’s becoming a
new era maybe maybe possibly
but to me that could just as easily happen tomorrow
or I mean why
do we assume that the mayans were absolutely correct
about that even if they were correcting
recognizing that human beings
go in cycles you know
that’s not an old idea
the yugas is
and I believe
hindu idea I think it’s hindu along the same lines
there’s like stages that humanity goes for goes through
and that these stages
these cycles that they’re all repeatable
they just keep happening again
a cycle over and over again
just like how you breathe in you always breathe out
humanity rises and falls
and right now we’re supposed to
be in kali yuga and it’s also supposed to end
the same time around where the mayans believe that
this age is going to end
and at the same time we’re terrence mckenna’s
you know time waves zero novelty theory
which a lot of people think is bullshit
I don’t know if it’s bullshit or not
but there was a guy named
terrence mckenna that had this crazy
mathematical algorithm designed to track time
and it was based off the each ing
and the idea was that you could apply
this to past events and show that all human innovation
that progress in humanity is all like
you could chart it on a graph
that it’s all like going along a certain direction
and that eventually
was going to reach a point of what he called
ultimate novelty
and the idea of ultimate novelty would be
something that we would figure out
or do
like create a time machine or something like that
that would literally change everything
as we know it
you know
and that ray kurtzwill calls it the singularity
you know that there’s a bunch of different
scientists that believe
we’re moving towards this convergence
this one big invention
and they tie that into the mind
thing that December twenty first two thousand twelve
is exactly the same as the ending point for
ultimate novelty for time wave zero
and that terrence mckenna arrived at that time
completely independent of the my encounter
I don’t know if
it’s bullshit
you don’t have really studied it either right dude he
studied you about this whole thing
and he just programmed this logic around that day
is possible it was possible
it didn’t seem like he was a liar though
he might have been kind of a hippie and he’s a hippie
they’re all lies
they almost money so they could buy weed and
fucking truly
truly maybe we don’t know if it was
what we do know is
this fucking thing’s been going on for 2h 30min
and that’s it
it’s over ladies and gentlemen
brian and I are gonna go get something to eat
and we’re gonna sign out
we’re gonna try to do this every week now
2h every week 2h min and a half you’re right
2h is not so good
but 2h and a half is not so good now
2h is the perfect point now
but we appreciate all 400 and fucking whatever of you
we had 500 people at one point in time
book it’s like a comedy club and as soon as we
get some more internet in here we’re gonna start
triple broadcasting it on both justin
tv and all the other one
yeah we’ll put it on three and we’ll also
we’ll give you different angles to yeah
different angles
if you want to be a fucking weirdo
you know
can we get bigger heads up a couple days yes
my friend jim dirkson did
no did rick diddrixon
jim diddrixon
yeah we will we’ll definitely give more advance time
we just figured it out yesterday
we’re gonna do it
then I put it up
and said we’re gonna do it a couple hours
but what we’ll do next time is
what we’re eventually going to do
is have a specific time
we start at every week
that sounds like a Wednesday yeah
Wednesday and afternoons
yeah yeah you’re right because
even if we go on the road for comedy we don’t leave
until Thursday usually
so we’ll do we’ll try to do a Tuesday or a Wednesday
and that’s what we’ll do
we’ll do like
late afternoon in la
like 3:00 is perfect somewhere around that line
and we’ll do it on a regular basis
so this week I’m at
the house of blues on
Saturday no yeah
Saturday night the house Friday night
the house of blues
this Friday in vegas
that’s January first
there’s still tickets available for that
new year’s eve in melrose
the improv in Hollywood on
Thursday night
it’s totally sold out
so that’s sold out
but there’s
still some tickets available for the house of blues
so if you’re going to be in vegas
brian’s not coming
unless he wants to wants to change his mind
vegas on New Year’s Day just seems like that
dried puke everywhere hell an egg over
yeah it’s hell at August
new year’s eve I guess it’s all sold out
sorry but New Year’s Day January first
the house of blues at mandalay bay
and it’ll be joey diez and ari shafir
far doesn’t kill himself before then
hopefully won’t
so thank you very much everybody
thanks for tuning into this and
we’ll see you next week
we’re gonna do this every week okay bitches
stop record