sam ladies and gentlemen we are live god damn it
we are live with the man
jason mayhem miller yes of
strike force fame
well bully beat down fame oh
bully beat down fame for sure man i can’t go anywhere
well strike
force fame too man you fought for the fucking
title yeah it’s true but you know like
strike forces in the process of
building like i could feel them like
getting the ball rolling before we even talk we have to
thank our sponsor we’re sponsored by the
flashlight i will
be taking all that’s the butthole version
i think that’s what other version is there
there’s a mouth version and of a jj version
now do the mouths come in different races dude
that’s a fucking excellent
point because i was saying how come there’s no
black ones cause all the vaginas are pink
if you go to the website
we’ve got to talk to them
about that and the funny
thing is the dude who hooked us up
the dude who started this whole deal our friend chris
seems like he’s of mixed heritage
right doesn’t he he seems like he’s like he’s got a
bunch of things going on
a little bit of black little bit of white
someone’s had some
black something somewhere along the line
let’s represent he’s a spiritual
traveler you can tell by just talking to
that guy he’s a cool dude
i can’t believe he
doesn’t have like indian dick
we’re gonna have him on the podcast if he’ll do it
i like that guy
who actually makes the molds of you
know cause they make
them out of girls vaginas
like porno stars
they literally mold
their vagina like the outside they stick a
flashlight up in her and take them
no but there’s no
i guess they put something on it
you know and they make an
impression of it yeah but not
every one of
those is an official vagina
or maybe there’s just some fat
chick who’s got her vagina
she’s like some designer
she went to art
school for three years and then she goes
puts the stuff on there like
now everybody will get
some of this my
point about the
flashlight has
always been it does not have to look like a vagina
cause i’m not looking at it
i’m just shoving it on my
dick you know what i got a
free i got a free fake vagina one time
you stare at it
while you’re
fucking it like wow that looks like a real vagina
there’s no way you’re
gonna be turned
on if it was a real vagina okay why is it by itself
where’s its fucking body
you know what i mean that’s creepy
have you just fucking a vagina like
someone took an
apple cord or some chick just
pulled it off and then
personality wise most
chicks that i’ve ever
dated are pretty much
you know just a vagina
i just see that part
oh you’ve had some cool
chicks well yeah
that’s true but you know i’ve gone through a rash of
psychopaths but
well there’s not
that’s the lifestyle though you know that’s
how you’re living you’re a fucking wild
man like professional there’s a lot of people out there
claiming wild man
jason mayhem miller
is a real fucking wild man alright i can’t help it just
shut the fuck up you’re talking
about a dude who
as long as i’ve
known him has been living in hotels
he doesn’t even he’s now he just got a fucking
house now he has to he’s a goddamn tv star
yeah yeah well i have to just because like i feel like
when you’re
like i’m damn near 30 like
i better like buy a house
well you’re a tv star now man you’re a
legit tv star you’re the host
bully fucking beat down
that’s true that’s a
giant show man that is a
popular fucking
show cultural
thing like i’m just waiting to get made
fun of like i’m like please yeah somebody saturday
at live make fun of this
it’ll happen it
should i mean look they can
we they could do that
to anthony bourdain they can do that to you you go to
any like mtv
parties where you have to hang
out with the hills nah yo
nah they don’t let me around those guys
and they separate me from jersey
shore dudes
i really think they separate
you from but you
might smack them all right yeah
might be like ah
they all just
ruined my career because i’ll be
this is the
thing about mayhem
like i’ve known mayhem for a long time now and
mayhem is one of the coolest guys i’ve ever met he’s a
down dude he’s totally straight
you never know
there’s no there’s no
guessing where you coming from with mayhem
but that said
homies got a switch
and every now and then
he just decides to
he just decides
to hit it sky bar sky bar
this is exactly
what i’m talking
about we got talk we were at the sky bar what’s this is
classic mayhem
and granted this is years ago before he had matured
you were very
young about that
you know what
it was i got
bored so easily yeah well you get
crazy you get hyped
you know and there’s nothing
wrong with that that’s what makes you a
great fighter but
when you got
we’re at the sky bar
and we’re just having
a good fucking time alright we got a buzz on we’re
laughing and telling jokes
it’s like mayhem and
brian is there and
ari was there no it was just me and you and a mayhem i
think there was one
other no no no
cause ari was
there and me and
you hid around the corner and
was like oh my god what the fuck i thought we had one
other dude with us
you sure ari
wasn’t there no no it was
just me and
you okay anyway bottom line
okay say it’s all just us three
so we’re having a
great time laughing our asses off
and mayhem gets hyped
and decides to skydive on this bed
filled with people drinking
these people
they have these like the way sky bars
sky bars wine
it’s got this killer view
right it’s at the montreon
it’s got this killer view and they have
these beds laying around
and people just
chill on these beds and they lie down and drink
well these people are just
lying down feet up
hard day at work you know i’m saying
all girls all
girls all girls
let me tell the story okay
you got the basics
rogan told his version
here’s my version in my head okay
i’m standing there
we already been to the skyboard
the day before
i went with you the day before and i had a
blast like it was like
girl this time
it was like some people there but it wasn’t popping off
right we’re talking to having a good time
but it wasn’t like
it wasn’t like the hollywood
party that you
you imagine
right and i
never been to hollywood
that was like my
first time okay so
i wanted the hollywood
party like i was like
where’s all the hot bitches you know like
what is this so but you know
you guys are used to it so you were like whatever
me i was getting
bored like i was like man
where’s the
chicks yesterday
where i was talking to chicks
and then i looking around and like and then
as i’m looking
around there’s a lull in our conversation
and i look over
and there’s a hot chick
and she’s looking at me
from the bench
now be it i was on the
second level of this little area
and we’re sitting
there talking there’s a lull in our conversation
i look back at that
chick she was smiling
something in my head said
jason she wants you to jump on there
now i have extensive
experience jumping on a
couch i had a little
sister all growing up
i could run and jump perfect and land perfect on the
couch as i ran
and jumped in midair
i went damn this is a bad idea like why did i do this
but too late i
could not take it back
so i jump and
smash into the all
these hot chicks like
model chicks
like a bunch of rich dudes wearing rolexes
one guy with
spiky hair he had the faux
hawk before people had faux
hawks and i
smashed it knock the
drinks everywhere
and whatever and man
i popped up like
bruce lee like jump back up like whoa
and i was like
that was stupid i saw
bouncers running and i just went
i know i know i’m
sorry i know i know
and then so this is my
first hollywood
thing and i was hanging out with the
famous joe rogan
and i was like
damn joe rogan’s
gonna hate me man
joe rogan’s
gonna hate me
i i his my phone rang
and i saw joe rogan and i was like oh god
i answered the
phone and he
said you were
laughing so hard
that i was like oh
cool it’s cool
that was awesome you
gotta know the difference
between someone
someone who’s capable of doing crazy shit
but is a cool dude
and someone who’s just fucking
crazy and annoying
and there’s a huge difference
and you’re just a dude who’s a cool dude who
will do some crazy
shit you get
labeled in with the
other group all the time
underestimated in my opinion
you know and it was really
funny the as a
fighter as well
the ea game
they put you out a really
a low skill level
really and it was a fucking hilarious
video no no
no that’s on the internet
is a hilarious
video of him
on the internet
punking the ea guys
he pretends that
he’s fucking pissed off because they put him in a low
level of skill no
way it looks so good
dude it’s so good
what find it
find it on youtube
google it what is do you know the name of the
video i don’t know
oh just mayhem
mayhem sports ea
sports whatever
mayhem freak out something like that it’s on the
okay here it is
super quick
ryan you gotta echo man
a little bit so here i am whatever so
it just talk us through this for the people
a lot of people just listen to this on itunes
this is the setup whole deal we went to ea sports
we went to ea sports and it was like
cool like they had a ball pit
in the middle of the joint
and actually one of the this developer
is in on this joke okay so you
know you’re doing so so if you notice in this video
he gets fucking slap around
here goes here now he starts realizing
he’s realizing his characters are low skill level now
you know we watch the act no man what the bro
but speed what’s wrong no charges watch the build up
big deal to video game no no go back to my shit
man no man you that’s what you think that’s what you
think you think you think
my coach
no disrespect no disrespect i’m just with you
there was one okay
there was this one dude
who was there was this one dude who was talking who
was really he sounded really freaked out
when he got violent and physical he wasn’t in on it
oh my bad no no he wasn’t in on it
that was real there was like his
freak out the whole floor of people came to the door
and everyone was like acting like they’re
gonna do something i’m like whoa listen to that guy’s
voice can you rewind it to that one spot
where that one guy wigs
this guy this is some primal shit dude
you got to listen to his
voice that the terror in his voice
but speed what’s wrong
it’s a video game listen for the no no
man no man you that’s what you think
you think you’re
laughing you think it’s hey motherfucker
that guy that guy
that guy sounds like a dude is getting
attacked by a bear
yeah well you know i mean
and i never think
about it you know and i have no
like fear of physical altercation
oh sorry is that bad
i have no fear of physical altercation so
to me like i’m like
okay whatever
it’s a dude you know like and i don’t really
think about the consequences anyway like i’m like
well if i get beat up i get beat up you know like
did you think well the designer wasn’t
gonna be up
for i mean you
would even attempt that
for because you’re mad at him for that
yeah you think my game sucks fuck you
like what you
think is gonna attack you that’s ridiculous
no you had no no dogs in that race no worries
that was very funny though it was very funny
i enjoy the shit out of it
mayhem miller
i enjoyed the shit out of it
now we can’t have you on without talking
about that strike force brawl
oh yeah that is the most
ridiculous shit i have ever seen on television
this is one of the problems and we talked
about it on the show
right after it happened with
organizations that they don’t have enough
experience yet there’s little
things they haven’t covered
little things like
watching the doors like you can’t just let anybody in
and the ufc knows that so they have people
watching the doors because
trying to get into the cage
ufc man yeah
but there’s just like a little
hole missing in their game
and the whole missing was
you gotta wash
the door you can’t just let anybody in the cage
they just fucked up well you know and i thought
it was an appropriate time to get into the cage
oh yeah this is
smart oh yeah for sure what’s the
worst that could happen
well the worst that happened so
well it wouldn’t have been bad
it wouldn’t have been bad
what happened was you came in and
yeah you like interrupted in the middle of a
speech yeah
here’s the here’s how that went he looked at you i
saw what happened
he looked at you guys
made eye contact and then you just went with yeah well
because it was like awkward at that
point because i
i didn’t mean to step into his frame
and then he looked back at me and me and
me and shields kind of had made
peace already because
we’re both cutting weight
at the same
time and we’re in the same area and we both like oh
and we’re like we kind of looked at each other like
yeah we’re doing it
again like what’s up dog like that like we’re like
all right it’s cool yeah you beat me in that last
fight give me
those shot now
you know i’ll kick your ass next time
you know there’s
mutual respect
right right
and he respect me
and and and so we kind of made our
peace and at the way in we
still were cool like what up
then i won my
fight and knocked the guy out
which this would make a lot more
sense if on the video
i mean on the cbs broadcast they showed my fight
but they had 5 25 minute
fights and went over
their time slot
anyway they went way way way way
way over their time slot
they went over by like over an hour
right wow an hour
this is bad
again you know
they’re just
you know they’re just
new at the yeah
it’s a new thing for them anyway
so i go in there and i didn’t mean to step into
frame i stepped in a
frame oh whoops
i’m already
and he noticed me at that same moment i was like
well i gotta talk now
right and he cause he
asked me what you want your rematch now
and i was like i said that he said that off the
off the mic
and i went yeah
where’s my rematch buddy
whoops because then i just
proceeded to get
to stockton dog piled
and the funniest part is is imagine
if i just want to fight
and my camp was in there
okay my crew
if we jumped on somebody
they would be fucking hurt
i got up like hahaha
oh my god like
i didn’t even get
hurt on that how did i not even get hurt you know i was
shocked i didn’t even
have a scratch on me and
and during the little
scrub i shot a double egg on somebody
because i was like man let me
just take someone to the ground and then i can probably
you know get my way out of this
and cause i was
thinking at this moment you
gotta understand
when you fight
and my adrenaline
had already been pumped up
earlier that night
wasn’t even
hype when that was happening i was like whoa oh my god
and i get on the bottom of a dog pile of like oh
i’m getting jumped on national
television i got
kicked in the head and
i didn’t feel that
and i i and then
as as i’m thinking in my head
man i’m getting jumped on national
television the
freaking idiot
goes johnson goes
gentlemen this is national
television i’m like haha no shit
yeah what’s up
with that dude
that dude is
he to me is like best commentator in the fucking
you either a
you’re entitled
to your opinion
sir you’re damn
right you know
what joe rogan
got nothing
mike shivello are you fucking kidding me
that guy sounds like
gus johnson
all day he sounds like a dude who’s in a mold
he just fits
into a mold
starts talking like a
sports guy i
think ma’am just got me pregnant
a little hype i
wrote a preface for a book this kind of like a college
textbook yeah
it’s a great book it’s a
i can’t remember
about what anyway it’s about
the mentality of fighters and he did case studies
law interviews with gus johnson did this but no no no
not gus i’m talking about
so how’s that guy gonna write
a friend of mine
he wrote this book
and what’s the book called
i don’t know wait a minute wait a minute
wait it’s coming to me
it’s too complicated that’s the problem
if it was just like
fighting or
fighting in art
you know it was about
it’s actually you know
a good book
i don’t know look it up red band you know how to so i
should write
book and google
and what else fighting and
i’m sure it’s on amazon or
something like that mayhem preface is on amazon
you never know man
white cloth
i wrote this thing
we’re at the
beginning and i i drew the parallel all but mass gator
probably my
dog come here
we have a technical difficulties
with the wiener dog
come on hot dog dog yeah you
got a my cats in the room everybody my cats hide in the
closet i know
we know dog
found them oh
we got goddamn
problems what kind of a fucking professional
studio is this yeah but i had the
buddy you can’t go down there come on get her hey
i’m gonna fuck
could you little
mother call
peter ladies and gentlemen we apologize
but anyway mid
story no but i
you know it’s
got to be a pretty big coincidence if he just he just
sorry guys you know turn my
level so much better
like this yo yo yo
check it out
about the broken podcast son i just
hold it but
we are the white so
anyway for the people who
haven’t seen this is what happened
there was a
the the fight is over
people do google
google number one there’s people that
listen to this podcast
that have there’s
people that listen this podcast that don’t know shit
about mm oh
my bad there’s
there’s most of the people that listen this podcast i
would say probably 50 at least
i know i love it no no that’s
not what i’m saying
they’re more
i know people driving to work this i just
just for the people who are not
mma fans we just have to
clean it look
get her get over here
this is very distracting anyway sorry
why don’t you guys talk for a second i’m
gonna shut this door yeah please shut the door
by the way remember that couch
story we were talking
about the sky bar yeah that was like my
first month
in la oh really
and it was like my
first time at a la bar
and then i meet you and then when that happened
i just remember it turned into bullet time
where i just see girls
like fucking
glasses of wine
everywhere i like to call that saving private ryan
like you’re like looking around
everything is that
black and white in slow motion yeah
and then i ran
around the corner and me and joe hid from you i oh cool
no man i knew it was
going down in midair
in midair i’m like damn i’m an
idiot man i do
stupid shit all the time but this is really stupid
i was like man
i finally have a
famous friend in my entire life
and i tell him to fuck off you
see exception
oh not yet everybody says awesome see you joe
we gotta keep talking
before we change i
think you know you’re
ready i’m go see it tonight though for sure do it
we’re not done i know
could you know why partially because
at red band
tweeted like
man he was stroking himself
while he was writing this review like 140 characters of
oh inception
oh god before before we get before
we got to go back to this little
strike force
thing before your dog
my cat sorry
we had issues
we got a fucking wild kingdom
going on up in this bitch
so the strike
force thing so
for the people who
haven’t seen
it this is what happens one guy wins and this guy
who won jake shields
mayhem and jake
shields had fought in the past very
close decision as a matter of fact at the end of the
second round
was the second or the
third i don’t know
at the end of the second or
third he had him
locked up in a rear
naked choking
homeboy was
going to sleep
the only reason
i didn’t hold him
after the bell
was because my last fight
i illegally kicked jack ray in
his head yeah and i was like oh i don’t want to get the
everybody hates me because i’m a dirty ass
fighter you know so i didn’t even hold on to it
beyond the bell because i was like
i’ll get him he
would have went
to sleep he
was a couple
seconds away from
going to sleep it was
dead lark time
anyway so the point is
they had a big very
close fight it was very it was
exciting and
mayhem doesn’t feel like he did his best
which no fighter ever does
so he wanted to have this rematch so when jake
shields won in a big victory over dan henderson
mayhem says well this is a good way to hype this
fight up this be a big name
fight you know i’m mayhem miller from mtv
and bully beatdown and we’re on fucking cbs right now
you know i’m i’m a famous
mma guy you’re a famous
mma guy you just had a huge victory
let’s make some money
yeah let’s make some fucking
money yeah that’s exactly right
that’s exactly
come on let’s get crazy
come on let’s hype this up you
gotta get mad at me but
the the problem is everybody took its street
everybody went
goofy like come on man
you guys have to have some sort of an
understanding that there’s a certain amount of shit you
should be able to talk before you
throw down because it’s good for business yeah
it’s good for business
what’s not good for business is
punching people in the head when you’re down
i understand
where you’re
coming from you want to back up your boy but
you can’t do that on tv
you got to realize that
a lot of this
disrespect and this shit talking it’s not real okay
a little bit
a little bit
like i said
me and him are in
lock room we suffer together but
this reality like the reality is you know it was a
great fight
the reality is you know you
would like to get back in there the reality is you know
you think you can beat him you came
close to tapping him
so there’s a
lot of real hype to it but there’s always respect like
all the bullshit and the shit talking and
everything like that
what people have to
understand is that makes you
money that sells the fucking
fights that’s a big big
thing like we’re shot in rampage man
if neither one of
those guys said a word to each
other there
wouldn’t have been half the emotional two
black guys fight who cares
but i’m just saying
they hyped it up yes they made the
talking smash
there were some
realistic yes there’s some reality to it but
they kept the shit together
they got so
close on that ultimate
fighter show man when they got in each
other’s face and they were
like touching
noses story
in australia
i’m friends with both guys
i’m friends with both those
as a mother
because they’re cool guys they’re both
great guys and i grew up with rampage
basically when i
moved it to
california in my damn van
i like but i i
i lived in the parking
lot down the
street from his
house and would
drive to go pick him up to take him to another gym to
train every day
we hung out
every day in
which one conversation
that he remembers i went
man you should be mr
t on on the a team wow
and then he
started spitting that
i pitiful what i was
like that and i was like
hold my you’re
see i told you and
magic mayhem
five eight years
later definitely
law attraction type shit
son yeah exactly anyway
maybe i’m just
magic joe rogan
maybe he’s just
black might be
magic to really
they have just
blessed me i
think i got
some magic you to
me and shit
hey anyway up so
we’re not australia and
those guys are both
out there and i’m kind of kicking with both of them
going around to australia’s
nightlife and
i’m but i’m kind of hanging out more with rampage i
known him for
a way longer and whatever and i kind of you know i
haven’t seen him we were
catching up
and anyway he
though these guys
suddenly i’m in the
nightclub with some hot
chicks i’m looking around like wow hot
chicks cool this is what life supposed to be right
and security
starts running past me and i’m like
where’s rampage
and i looked over at
where rashad
was sitting
where’s rashad
and i was like dude they’re not here
and those guys are running
i run down to this little tiny hallway
where the bathroom was
and who’s standing there
face to face in this hallway that i can barely fit down
they are face
to face in this
thing oh just
black guy talking like
motherfucker like
all i can hear is motherfucker treat me like a bitch
treat me like a bitch
treat me like a bitch here we go i was like oh and dude
these these security is like locked that they know who
these guys are they know what can go down right now
they’re just like ah ah
fuck could you imagine to the rest security
at a fucking club in australia and it’s for the
people are cool
as fuck yeah like yeah people are nice here
how hard is it to be a
bouncer you know no big deal
and then one day two fucking cage
fighters came in and
one of the biggest
rivalries in the history
of the ufc and
these two guys are in each
other’s face in your bar are we
gonna do something but yo
to the rescue
i sprinted down
in there got in between them and explained to them
in the language that i’m accustomed to
black guy because i talk
black guy talk
about guy oh for
you give us
you give us an
exact interpretation of what do you
mean my normal
black guy is this
black guy like ii
my formative years were
spent with all
black guys right mike
from 12 well
i moved to a less
black neighborhood when i was 12
and whatever it was still
still hung out with
black kids because
i was already used to that like i was just like
you know that
was just my normal guy what’s it feel like so
you know what i mean hey get out of here
so anyway i get in
these guys face and i like hey man
let’s do this on tv huh
why you guys
gonna waste it right here
cause international incident
they kind of like
broke off and kind of like
laughed the fact that i’m
screaming about an international incident right and
disaster averted
but like they were
serious yeah they were
like i was like you guys are really
couple drinks
these guys get
fired up well there’s
the psychological advantage of not getting the
other guy you know not backing down at all
it’s so important to
those guys and they
understand that yeah i mean it seems
stupid and i
think it is kind of dumb
you know but
i understand it 100 and
you know look
when people get heated into each
other’s faces and you
know and there’s this
especially with two guys that are
about to fight
that these little tiny battles are real
these little tiny
psychological battles
like who gets to tell who to go fuck themselves last
you know who gets to say the last word
you know it’s like fuck man we
might be here all day i’m not
going anywhere fuck you i don’t
get in that road man i am
so not why would you want to get yourself
there well it’s true it’s true but if you’re a cage
fighter it’s a different situation because
psychological warfare
it’s very important it’s very important your mindset
as opposed to
where their mindset is
when the fight
starts you can fuck someone’s head up in a pre
fight but there’s a lot of
fighters that are awesome believe in just like i love
you yeah that’s all nice and good but everybody’s got
their own style
you can’t hate on someone’s shit talk and
style because it really works man
there’s some
there’s some
shit man when you get inside someone’s head
and get them emotional and all riled up
start talking shit
about their girlfriend
talking shit
about their kids
talking shit
about their life
you you start fuck with and
look some people
can take it some people talk shit on them and they
think it’s funny
and it doesn’t hurt them but some guys go
crazy look at fucking
frank meyer when brock
lesnar got in
frank meyer’s face
after he beat the fuck out of him
after he beat his fucking face into the ground
to smashed him then he gets in his face
talk some fucking shit
well use that for motivation
that was real man that was that was a real
anger you know
that guy got fucking furious
because that it backfired
on him but it works on other guys
what do you talk about backfired
well i mean you think that people got sad they
no no no no
no no i mean as far as his performance roxanne
as far as his performance all the shit talking that
right here did
that fire well i just think that brock yeah
brock was gonna beat him just bigger and
i agree but
what i’m saying is it didn’t do any good
it actually got him more of a beating well you know you
know what i’m saying i mean and he got really he got
that was real
if i rather
the anger behind it beat the shit out of me then
let me off easy you know i want it if i lost i’d
lost i want to lose
i don’t want to like oh you hugged me into
the damn bat i want to like yeah did you see the ifc
the josh barnett
geronimo do
i didn’t see you
quick stop it
man i mean josh barnett was
crushing them no don’t get me wrong you
i mean it’s
definitely just
but i was thinking like wow
i don’t know i
think brock
lesnar took more shots than this guy
and the guy got up and he was
really pissed and he protests he was like what the fuck
and granted barnett was killing him don’t get me
wrong barnett looked awesome
i mean he barnett’s fucking
solid barnett’s
solid here’s the
thing as i love the officiating and the
lesnar fight
let him go right you know
i’m a super carwin fan i
love carwin as well
he’s the best guy look i’m a fan of anybody who can win
and brock lesnar
showed his character and coming back for that
second round but he took a lot of shots where
i was looking at
big john who i
think is the best of the business i
think big john and herb dean are the very best
and big but big john stopped that
fight in australia and i was like i wonder who
would have stopped the
lesnar fight
people would have stopped it yeah
totally josh
rosenthall is the shit
that guy is one of
the best rosenthal
he’s the guy
rosenthal is the shit he’s a real fan he
trains he’s a
brown belt in jujutsu what
about herb dean
what herbdine is the shit he’s my
i felt like
coolest motherfucker on the planet who both guys are
and you know
but i don’t
think either one of
those guys could have stopped it
maybe herb herb
might have stopped no i don’t
think he would have
but somebody
might have no one
from that matrix is
gonna stop that eve levine’s a
great referee but he
might have stopped it
yeah you know i’m saying yeah yeah i mean
there’s a few
but all i’m trying to get at is that
moments like that you realize how important a
referee really is
well here’s the
thing is i don’t
i don’t think you
should have been stopped because
he was taking a beating for sure
but if you look at the athlete’s face you have to like
pay attention
to their facial expressions
there and there
if they don’t look like they want out of there
right why stop it
right you know
it’s like i
never once can remember
i remember get my ass kicked a couple times like
like getting kicked and i like remember thinking
don’t stop this
fight like don’t stop it i’m
still here don’t
worry i’m still here and keeping my faith
but if i had
to that’s an
extra thing to
think about
right well yeah
but i just know in my head don’t stop the
fight because i
could tell in a couple
fights i’ve been in
but i’m like getting my ass
whooped i could tell like i’m
like whoa i’m getting kicked i’m getting my ass kicked
right now i
gotta hurry up and get out of this situation
and i but at the same time thinking
don’t stop please don’t stop the fight
cause i’m still here
have you talked
to the diaz brothers or gilbert melendez
or anybody that
was involved
with strike
force brawl
yeah i talked to melendez
he’s cool like
being a melinda
has been cool and buddies on and i was actually
kind of friends with
nate diaz despite
me and nick
never getting
along because do you
think you guys can all
squash oh you don’t get
along with nick and fuck nick
diaz wow whoa
words yeah i said it
anyway what is your problem with nick
diaz no because you know what
i feel like he was a driving factor
in that whole
thing he’s the
first guy to
throw a punch
he started that
whole thing
and it it’s almost
not his fault because he’s retarded
but at the same time
he embodies this cultural
shift that we had
and we really really
started with dr dre
selling us and wa
and it did and sell us this
culture of gangsters
is cool right yeah
gangster is cool in a way
to watch a movie
but being gangster
is just being a little kid
you know what i mean
and starting a big brawl
because what
i talked some shit to your homie
that is just ghetto
and that that that
thing embodies what’s
wrong with the america
right now people don’t take it
like when they asked
about it i came out and apologized
right after that
whole thing went down
cause i was
wrong i stepped in the cage
but no one stopped me i figured
and they won’t
mind it’ll be cool there’ll be a cool way to hide
their own thing what are
you doing and then
come on what are
you doing to the
sound man you’re
freaking this out
sorry anyway so
you know i got in there
they jump on me
that’s not the proper response
like you know you don’t act like a damn savage
brian come on it’s
hard i can’t
you interrupt just
having a thought
yeah so i mean you you had
talked to nick in the past though you guys know what
was is that nick
well after one fight
i did fuck him up pretty good because
after one of
these one of his
fights i was doing the post
fight interview
i’m jason mayhem miller with big deal
that’s usually i did
i didn’t know
setup it was like a
silly it was
just a joke like
he didn’t get the joke though that’s the problem right
i’ll just fuck with he’s like a serious dude yeah all
you know he’s like
i nobody’s bitch yeah dude
you don’t need like that
but what is that
surprising look i like nifty
as a lot i’m a big fan of him as a
fighter i’ve
always been
cool with him as a person
i thought he was
great you know
listen but what is
it what is it
about him that hold no no fun
no fun and games i know
that’s that’s a
weird way to live
right yeah because he just is
he’s i don’t know he’s just
angry with himself so he just he takes but
it’s rare that someone is so disciplined
like as disciplined as he is
i mean nick diaz is in
tremendous shape
just running
and you know
he’s a cardio
guy and works really
hard obviously he’s so good now too man his last few
fights man the fucking
scott smith
fight i was really impressed
frank shamrock i was like god damn he’s like
he’s fucking putting
it together he’s putting it on people i like the
whoop his ass but
but as like a dude like that
whole like always
angry and always
fighting it’s you know it’s unfortunate
way of looking whatever you know
that’s just the
mentality of some people and i
think that you know it’s
weird you see that in someone who’s so good at that
well i mean
what do you mean
you just go to the gym
every day yeah
but to be smart
there’s there’s a certain amount of
there’s a certain amount of
power over your mind and over your will
there’s a certain amount you have
or have a will man yeah whatever dude listen
you have to have a will and discipline
to get that good i got
uncles who are dumb as shit who
would just go to
their construction
job and work hard as hell
every day it
doesn’t take
no listen nick diaz
might not be like
you might not
think he’s the socially
most inept guy in the world
but physically
that guy’s very intelligent look how good his
jiu jitsu is look how good he
fights that takes intelligence it’s just
if he’s not
focusing in
other areas
of his life it
doesn’t mean that he’s not intelligent
there’s no doubt that guy
when you’re that good you’re
super intelligent
i mean i understand
where it all comes from i mean
it’s a programming that you get when you’re really
young and you
think that that’s the way to behave and act
but i think you’ve got a real good
point you know you got a real good
point about
i don’t want to drag
culture i like to have fun
and i act back
wild i do crazy
stuff but you are always cool to people i’ve
never seen you picking
fights for no reason
what’s the point
never seen you
start arguments for no reason
you i’ve always been cool to people i’ve
never seen you
bully people or fuck with anybody
which is really
funny that you
wound up getting this anti
bully show yeah
no no listen
the same job that i’m doing now
man i did the same
thing all growing up it’s so
funny that i got
cause i played this role
my entire life
because every time
there’s a big kid picking on a little kid
i can remember like
three incidents
so you yeah i
would be like
cause i like to
fight i always like to fight
since i was
three years old like i just like
that my dad was in an army and box and
stuff and he
he like so you
weren’t afraid
of it you wanted to get in there and do it yeah
it was weird
and then the
women were talking shit
and bullying somebody yeah
some guy was
bullying another little kid i remember walking
seeing it going
down and he was pushing the little kid around
and i was like
i remember i like i don’t know i
guess i was like nine or eight
i walked over there
and got in between them
and then i beat this kid up
but but did you
start bullying
bullying bully yeah
no absolutely because
maybe you were
bullying oh here
bullying bullies though
is a very common practice
yeah a lot of
righteous people do that i
bullied a bully the
other day using
bluetorcher com my
bully in high
school he used to always fuck with me so what 15 years
later i made a website
where i used to take listerine
strips and put them in animals
mouths but i
would photoshop
like them have blue lips and
stuff like that and
peta or whatever got so pissed off
that they’re like we’re
going to go to this
person’s house and protest them
so i found my
bully’s address
and made this big flyer like got five new puppies
gonna give them two hundred listerine
strips live on on the internet
and here’s stop
right now stop
right now don’t be
admitting this on the internet
what’s wrong
with you huh
stop what you talking
about no it’s fine
i’ve already
admitted it many times on the internet
well not on this fucking podcast
nobody else listened to it sorry peta
sorry peta didn’t mean to do it i’m not talking
about that i’m talking
about the guy huh the guy
doesn’t matter i got
the wrong address
okay well whichever
address you
got you said psychobeat
of evil to some
random person’s
house yeah even
worse dude let’s stop talking
jesus christ
legality no let’s
while we’re on that subject
tell me mayhem the
story of your assistant that did you wrong
and justice
which i think is a hundred times
worse than wait
get out of here
no it’s not because you dude you gave aways
where someone lives huh
that’s where someone
i was just thinking
about peta okay
yeah that’s
where someone
sleeps this is just a
phone number
a phone number is not nearly as bad as the
place where you sleep
the rest of the
story was what was
weird about it is that
he was arrested the same week that this happened for
torture to an animal he left his dog in his house for
weeks at a time
while he was out doing
other bad stuff
and so it just happened at the same week
which made it a million times better
without doing other bad
stuff or yeah bad
stuff and he’s
the way he speaks
i well i’m trying
i’m trying not to get the guy in
trouble or okay
adam all right well we could
move on to the subject revenge was served
so you don’t have to
worry okay good so now we can all sleep
knowing that you won’t be
no it was weird because actually he was
abusing animals the
whole time it is
funny if someone
tries to do a scam and gets busted you know
an interesting
story is the guy who
you know people always ask hey can we take a picture
where you get me in a choke
or i’ll get you in a
choke and i say we can’t
because the ufc
specifically tells us we can’t because
two guys were sued
chuck was sued and matt hughes were sued for taking
pictures with dudes yes
but then why did jim
norton just get choked out the
other day on opiums a video
the video is totally
different because a video
no no no listen a
video is very obvious what’s happening
you know and
by the way it’s jim norton jim norton’s not
gonna sue randy
couture he’s just
random fans that thought they
could make some money
and they pretended that
chuck heard him they pretended
matt hughes heard him
well the guy who they pretended matt hughes
heard him apparently
they investigated this because there was all
these people that said like come on man it’s bullshit
matt’s a nice guy who’s taking a
picture with you you
asked him to do it
this guy turned out he was a dirty cop
oh and they
started investigating him and
found out some shit and now he’s in jail
wow he’s doing
a long stretch he’s doing like 10 years or something
you know why because matt hughes is a christian and
jesus did it
jesus fucked that dude the ass that’s what happened
right there my god
jesus came the
worst thing ever said on a podcast
too bad yeah
that’s the worst
thing to get raped by
imagine getting raped by
jesus not man
she even the destroyer that’s a way better
guys got your
feet and shit
right yeah so
uh tell us what happened with this
this mayhem is uh
like i said
one of the nicest
guys i know totally down loyal dude
but he had an issue with
i had the worst
assistant ever
like literally like i be like
eddie take a
right on ocean and a
right on california all right
right on ocean
right on california
just make a name for this guy
yeah his name is
how about mike is mike good enough
and now mike’s my dad’s tonya
harding tonya
harding okay let’s no
no don’t say tonya harding let’s just call him tanya
okay tiny other time
just take a right
oh no shouldn’t take a
right on california you got it
and he’s like oh
and my friend goes it’s a big yellow building
so i walk to the
the building i told him to go to
and i’m waiting for 15 minutes
and i’m like
what the hell finally i call a guy
what are you doing i
uh i i he’s just
stupid like
okay we’ve established he’s very
poor at his job okay so then he comes but so well then
when he did
fuck you over let’s get on track
this guy fucked you
set it up so you know what i was dealing
with here okay so i’m keep giving him another chance
every time like i’m like okay so
he can’t pay my credit card bill it take me
two two minutes to do it
he has all the information
still couldn’t do it
he can’t figure out
travel velocity
he booked me an hour away from
my family reunion like he’s
he’s terrible at his job okay
okay so he then
goes to one of my
close friends
and just lies
about everything like
like it’s a girl okay
you one of your
close friends yeah this this guy
found her information and contact he with
somehow he got her
email on an email
mostly because
he had to be hating there’s only one
reason why a guy does that guy goes and talks to a girl
and talk shit
about you yeah
that’s a hater yeah i know well don’t
worry i’m well
aware of that so
you know this guy
freaking calls her and just
starts making up
ridiculous stories
the girl believes it like she’s like
believes it totally like
believes it and then it’s like
totally i’m like what the hell
where so he says a
bunch of bad shit
about a bad shit
about me yeah you’re very emotional i can
understand you
have a hard
time getting this out they are yeah they are
yeah it’s fucking
that sucks man sensitive
sensitive but anyway very sensitive
fuck you over
yeah fuck me over
finally i get the
story out of her
she’s tells me why
i’m like what
like he has made all that shit up like really
she buy we make up he
told me she told me all that
i’m like man i suffered for like a week or two
where she was just giving me the boot like no reason
and i don’t
know what and you didn’t know what it was and i didn’t
know what it
was that all stopping you in the back the guy that i
fired the week before
because he’s inept at a job
and i was totally cool with them too so you had already
fired him and then he did all
this i fired him and then he did
all this oh i was confused i thought he did all this
while he was working no
okay so then
so you fire him
he talks shit
about you to this girl that
he’s probably
in love with yeah and then what do you do you put
oh no i was talking to my friend dane cook
and i i aim drop
i totally knew i was talking to my friend dane
cook well you were talking on
twitter right on twitter and i
posted that
guy’s number dude i did that i thought i did that
i did my own number i saw that i saw
you did that so i
was like yeah call a guy anyway and talk to him
so you thought you were
making a direct message to dane cook yeah
you were really just twittering it public
that happens because
i heard they needed an
assistant i can’t figure out how to delete the phone
don’t worry
there’s nice
people on twitter
they’ll delete
leaking your
phone number so intense if my
because that’s like something that
you have so many like a hundred people that know your
phone number and once you leak that like dana
white just leaked it on twitter the other day
you’d lose that
phone number thing
i did with his office number
so they’ll change his office oh that’s not bad
but your cell
phone that’s pretty huge dude you saw what
going on my yeah
that number for a long ass time
you’re gonna
forget how many people have that number when somebody
down the line you’re like
talk good i
think this is
pretty resetting
just reaching
back and trying to grab a hold of people from the past
let that shit
go son it’s kind of fun
when you lose a number i like
gotta go i liked it
now i can’t even turn the
phone on i turned the
phone on it just reboots
because it gets so many texts
cause i turn it on like
every day and when i turn it on
it allow like 5 000 texts
so it just reboots
and then and i can’t use it i try to make a call
or i get calls in on it
i try to answer the call
and while i’m answering the call it’s just constant
buzz buzz buzz of text coming through
buzz buzz or so what you’re
saying is they both
calling in on the
other line and then it reboots
is that red band is
basically turning the
phone on and sitting on it
i’m putting in my flashlight that’s what he likes to do
but so unfortunately you put this guy’s
phone number online but i don’t
think anybody’s gonna call it
no nobody will call his number right
why would there yeah it’s not like it’s my
phone number yeah and it’s not like you’re like this
loved guy and that guy fucked you over yeah
you know i’m saying it may sound like there’s
anybody nobody loves to bully me down well i am
an official mayhem monkey i’m a member of your
fault you’re like number 420
that’s cliche as they make it
folks i had to take it
perfect right yeah bro come on somebody had to be for
yeah mayhem has a call called the mayhem
monkeys yeah i’m down with that shit so
it’s easy you know what i got a mayhem monkey t shirt
two of them i feel like you’re like a like
at least a general
thank you monkey army i mean at least i can’t wait
prime minister well you know what i’m saying how
about this how about
i have a cult you have a cult and
will be like fucking favorite nations and shit we are
you think about it i just want my cold to be
people were
of the same mindset
right you are because we’re all monkeys
spin around a rock in space
right yes i mean that’s what it
is tubes and tunnels
tubes and tunnels
that’s what we have
boys have tubes girls have tunnels
yep oh my god wow
i love brian you know why cause
brian is a grown man with a beard
but he thinks like a 14 year old
so great i like it you have to
i love that personality man
that’s a unique motherfucker right there
did you ever get your mayhem
monkeys all together for kind of like a roller skating
party or anything like that probably
i’ve done that with the rogan board members
it’s almost always awesome
but there’s almost always one dude
that’s creepy in real life
right one dude that
just jacks the parties remember when we did houston
back in the day yeah
who was a good example of that where it
was a couple dudes i don’t remember the names but
i don’t know
what anybody did i
wouldn’t even say it
after meeting them
they stopped they just drop off the the
right board they stopped coming to the board
and there’s been
there’s been members that wives have
found out that they came to
these circle jerks and
memory there’s been affairs there’s been yeah there’s
deaths yeah
i mean our friend outlaw
that was a legitimate friend of ours
that died yeah
he had a heart attack who’s overweight
overweight dude
yeah that’s a business
long as a cool
we knew that guy from like
2001 was when we
first met him in houston right
and he was always on my message
board just a
funny dude just a cool dude
so you can meet
cool people off the internet but the problem is man
for every cool dude
for every 10
cool dudes there’s one or two just creepy fucks
that it’ll show up for your
little thing that’s percentages
on the planet
yeah it’s pretty fucking good
i think you know you
get to know people very well from reading the shit they
write on the internet
that’s why twitter’s awesome because you get to see
is this person a negative person
positive funny
you can see through their
tweets because
they can’t help it they
put themselves out there you know who i love i love
black dudes that give
motivational talk yeah i like
that too i like that too
you know tyrese the actor
that dude who’s always like women
stand up for yourself at all caps
you know make that man respect you baby boys
love yourself before someone else will love you girls
like you like say all this like
crazy super positive
love pimp shit
you know he’s just
slinging his i’m a good guy game
you know what i mean it’s like
i his fucking avatar on twitter
is a him making out with some
check dude is
built like a fucking
greek god he’s a
movie star sexy
i mean i don’t
hate him i’m not hating but but i find it hilarious
when he’s talking all this
superpower pro god love game
like you could tell when someone’s
throwing a game
you know what i’m saying
you can tell when someone’s real
and that’s who they are you can’t
but a lot of people are not as bright as you are joe
rogan but isn’t it fascinating when you see someone’s
throwing a game and
other people aren’t seeing it oh yeah it’s like
you know like anything like that like
i had this neighbor who was a cool guy i
still love the guy and
where i used to live
and he was talking to me
about buying this
piece of property
and then i said well i can’t do it
right now but i really want to pick this up
because my wife is
about to go clear
so i go what are you talking
about he goes
yeah well we’re in
scientology and she’s
going to go
clear and it costs 50 000
otherwise i
would pick this
piece of property up
i go whoa whoa whoa
i go what is
clear like what are you talking about
you know as a comedian automatically i want to
start laughing at them and mocking them
but then my
heckler skills are taking me give him
some rope let’s talk here let’s find out what we got
going on here
so i’m listening
to him he’s telling me that his wife is
going to become
someone who cannot be
influenced by outside forces
dude i’m not fucking with you
what did they get them to the
point where nothing
negative that anybody does to them or says to them
can affect who they are
it’s really fucking some
pretty strong pimp
shit if you think
about it you know someone tells you
that they’re
gonna fit you so nothing’s
gonna come in
what’s uncomfortable
about is you
start thinking you
could do that too you
start thinking i
could do that to people i could get
start writing shit like this no i’m not
i’m talking
about easily easily
easily man it was
a crazy feeling though
knowing that i’m
living next to some dude is just getting raped hey man
we can go down that you know
what i mean
they were taking 50
grand from him man 50
000 the wave of
magic wad nadia i’ll do 50
000 to do some
goddamn voodoo
ceremony on his wife so that she
won’t get affected by
bad buju anymore did
you ever see the
south park episode without the
whole scientology thing
about the crazy
one of the best oh yeah i know when they went over the
whole myth right
yeah oh my god it was genius
south parks the
greatest you know what
though but here’s
the way it is though okay
the way it is is my friend
has a grandma from japan
lived in hawaii but
basically had for the last
thirty years been in the
house cleaning the house
she’s the nicest lady
she got one
of her friends from i don’t know whatever old japanese
ladies do she doesn’t
speak english
but so they go to a japanese church
at a christian church
and they go
they are telling the
story of the virgin
birth and she
suddenly has a
freak out she’s 80 years old she’s kind of
like an old lady like
you believe this
then she went
you in the middle of the
sermon like
you all believe this
this is what the
cause that’s the her
first time in a christian church she didn’t ever
she never heard
about it really she didn’t know the
story oh no it’s not you know she
freaked out she was like
did you guys believe
and fucked up the
whole sermon
and left in the middle of it but
if you draw the parallel
it’s the same thing
it’s kind of hard to yeah i mean i hate
yeah but the
scientology is the same
thing as christiana well
it’s just it’s the 2 000 years younger
yeah it doesn’t matter
anybody telling
you they’ve got all the answers they don’t yeah
no we have this
weird hunger
to figure it all out
but i just good though it’s good because
now we got these
you know science oh
sorry science
not scientology scientists
real scientists and i
think it’s messed up
put it in there to
sound i know
right that is kind of fuck kind of because
their cult was science because
people who don’t want to go to church go
uh wait cyan
sounds better yeah you know but anyway
it has not do with science science
and cotton and
psychology together it’s meshed up
exactly but
but you know
we we all we all have this need to know
everything that’s cool
these smart scientists are
figuring it out
you know they know
the world around because they
shot they definitely shot
here’s the reality here’s
the reality
they’re figuring out
things about matter
they’re figuring out
things about the nature of reality we figure
but there’s way more
the real big question isn’t like how does this work
what makes this
explode what makes an atom what makes the big bang
the real question is what the fuck is all that
that’s the real question
that’s impossible
with just science
it’s gonna take
evolution in science
oh yeah definitely
the real thing that’s
going on is that we have all this incredible
power right now as a
human race but we’re
still in this
crazy adolescent
stage of figuring out how to behave and think and
raise children to be normal humans
you know i mean
it’s a fucking very strange time when you
think about the
power that people have
to change the fucking
world that we live in like with
explosions and all kinds of
crazy shit that people have invented
and how dumb people are as well at the same time
so many dummies
well yeah but you know that i mean that’s the way the
world is you know there’s
smart people out there
and those smart people boss
idiots like me around but has
there ever been
as big a disparity between people who are intelligent
involved and the people who aren’t all living in
the same time there’s actually a lot of right so
scientists are talking
about how things are
gonna go in
which direction they’re
gonna go and they’re talking
about the elite
class of people the
smart people
sometimes some
scientists say
we’re gonna evolve
yeah evolved
just like the time machine
there’s gonna be some goods
and there’s
gonna be the
super smart like
crazy genetically enhanced
robot people i don’t know why people
wouldn’t think that’s possible
you know people want to
think somehow
under the human beings what we are
right now it’s what we’re gonna stay
nope and we’re not we’re
gonna become something else
you know we’re
gonna move on to something
else man who knows what the fuck it is but it’s not
gonna stop right here
i just hoping i get
robot arms up and if you look at like
other animals
like they all a
bunch of different kind of subspecies
where they branched off and the
humans themselves
we at one point in time are related to some
other kind of primate
the same primate that the chimps were
related to and they all went in different directions
like who the fuck are we to assume that
it’s gonna stop the branch that’s
gonna stop here no we’re not
i don’t think anybody is
anyone think that though
some people yeah
no what are you talking
about man most people think that
we’re here this is how we’re stand
when they can’t even see that
the chinese
chick i dated
her parents like
super short
and she just sprung up to like five foot eight
you know out of nowhere
well guess what she’s
eating this chemically processed food
and all of a
sudden she get huge and she had big
boobs i’m like
what your asian your mom is super flat
your dad is like a scrawny you got
a woman you know you’re having more
babies now there’s more twins
oh yeah that’s like some chemicals they pumped in
her though like some
female steroids yeah that was on purpose to yeah
projected embryos
in her well that happens all the time that
people like they can’t have a kid you know they’re like
i just want to have a baby and they eject the lady
with a bunch of hormones
so she’s super fertile
then he put
he drops his
blood inside of her
and all of a
sudden you pop out a litter of puppies
you know that
and they even put embryos that’s what i’m saying
i mean actual embryos
you know like old
women who no longer have any eggs and their body
and bodies are
starting to get used to having like
12 kids at once is now
would a body be able to have 12 kids
10 years ago well i’m
just hoping to see the turtle
woman who like has all her kids on the
beach and then
covers them up with sand
i think it’s a disturbing idea for people to
think that there’s
gonna be two
groups of humans
intelligent ones and more on ones and
they literally be two different species because
people were
worried that they
would be in the
moron group
that’s what it is everybody’s like i don’t even
wanna talk about this this is not real
no bullshit people are
gonna evolve together
we’re gonna help each
other stop thinking like that you’re a pessimist really
watch the fucking news
really you don’t
pay attention to some of the
crazy shit that you hear people do
you hear about people fucking
their kids going into
stores with machine guns and
you don’t think
that there’s somewhere it’s somehow possible that that
might be a separate subspecies of people eventually
completely unrelated to bill gates
like so totally different yeah well
it’s just a matter of time man
ah you know what i’m cool with being on the
lower end i’m like whatever i’ll be like the
smartest dumb guy to be awesome
like that act sweet and
savage i’m like
what 7 eleven
give me the food you
might be having
more fun and you
might be getting more
chicks because the
smart chicks
it’s hard to get them to commit to a relationship
they’re very wary of you
they want to like i don’t you seem like a guy who’s
gonna abuse my emotions
the dumb chicks like oh you’re hot jason
the dumb ones
are sometimes it’s more fun if you want to party
partying with dumb people sometimes is a lot more fun
and partying with
smart people want to fucking cry
talk to you
about your ex
husbands and shit you wanna
smoke a joint
and then fucking yeah cry
about your ex
husband fuck
do you i mean
think about it if you’re just a guy trying to have
a good time you have two options one is a girl who’s 23
just got out of college
she’s out with all of her best friends and they’re all
drinking okay there’s that or
she’s thirty one she’s smoking
cigarettes she just
broke up with her boyfriend she thinks she
might be pregnant
you know who the fuck you
gonna talk to who you
gonna talk to oh yeah you
wanna talk to the
smart chick who just
graduated from
college and she’s not exactly sure what she’s
gonna do with her life and like
hey hey hey
i just wanna dance
can we just have a
drink and have some fun no
no so you got
maybe have a point
if you want
to have some
fun just fun
studies studies disagree with you because
right at from age
27 and 45 is like a
woman’s sexually
already hardy
for sure sexual prime
all i’m saying
telling me a
23 year old is not blowing you
know we’re talking
about dumb and
smart oh that’s all i’m talking about
i’m not talking
about necessarily the the age
i think the
chicks are hottest when they’re in their 30s
because they became
women and they know each
other i’m just saying
in our theoretical
world of two different subspecies
you might be better off being king of the retards
because you get a lot of hot
tricks that are just like
really easy and fun to hang out with
whereas opposed to
you hang out with a lot of
smart chicks like they’re
gonna want a lot of commitment
i think we’re
gonna have to have a relationship we have a
black president we have a
black president
it is the future now
and i am the king of the retards
i’m chubby enough in
texas that i’m a
supermodel yeah in
texas you fit
right the fuck in fucking dude
girls like a
man with a gut yeah
girls like a man with a little gut in texas
that’s a man who’s living biggers better
look in the old days man fat bras were
attractive that’s why
those old paintings like fat
man yeah yeah
like she’s so luxurious look she gets to get fat
nobody else got fat man
when you look at those old
pictures of fat
bitches you’re like why is that sexy what the fuck was
wrong with them
what was wrong was it was hard to get food
that was their bling
they were bling
bling and look at all this titty look at all this shit
right here i got all fat
hanging off my arms and shit that’s how much food i got
bitch i don’t
think they talk like that mr
peters those
pictures were
the that was the
equivalent of dub magazine
that was the
equivalent of
mtv cribs they were showing their
bling this is my
bling look at all my fat
i just been eating shit pigs and shit all day i mean
pigs yeah you
could be fat and fucked up and you looked like royalty
whereas everyone else was
sinewy and they fucking worked all day they were
built like mayhem all so you’re
saying if i go back in time i want to plow some
some hood rats
that you’re saying
well you go back in time you know
maybe fat chicks you’d
fall into a
whirl the fat
chicks were
made maybe the only reason that guys
could get fat
chicks is because they had
those gay powdered wigs on and then only fat
chicks would bump
off the same era
i don’t think i’m
not sure well i heard
wigs powders
went a long way
going off with i
think it was getting out of that when jerome
was painting
people didn’t wash back then
yeah who care
they wash like very rarely
well you wash your armpits and your junk you do like an
irish shower real quick god
damn how much did people
think back no way
but i think
though but i
think that’s how we’re supposed to be
yeah we’re always
trying to kill our pheromones off of each
other do you
think that if people just walked around all day
funky that you get used to know
no i think you
might you guys like getting used to
the cat litter box i
smell it every day i still love
bro listen bro
when you do
jiu jitsu you get used to stink
i don’t mind
it at all you don’t mind it
dude i locked up with this guy the other day
and as soon as we
started rap on his
shirt smell like pneumonia
maybe they always
leave their shit
when people
leave their gee
in there in
their bag and then they put it on
again a second time it’s got that
smell uh huh
this guy is rash
guard for sure he wore it
twice you know
that’s what happened some some dudes do that they
bachelor’s and shit they don’t have
any laundry they don’t have the time to do it they work
you get used to it
i got yeah i actually i
like listen
bro you say
that but you
would but i
smell cat litter for the last 10 years
that it smells like assholes yeah yeah you
would smell
like aspirate
that’s why it’s not
human it’s not
human it’s not human
listen human
body works i hope this
is actually
dangerous for you
it’s like you
have a bacteria that can give you disease yeah
that’s why it’s so repulsive
to you had to explain that to this guy
right now it’s a big difference between it
explain this she’s very
smart just a little stone
sorry i’m just
saying shit is bad for you just so you know
how rude this is trying
no but i like
stinky people i don’t
even mind stinky people
unless what
about stinky
pussy though
not if it’s negative you could
smell the negative
smell however
man every girlfriend i’ve had
whether she knew it or not
i smell her armpit
hard really yeah
every time i can’t help if my nose
doesn’t work that good sometimes
when i get warmed
up it works just fine isn’t it amazing how repulsive
stinky pussy is oh man
and this is not
a woman hating
statement at all i
understand it’s like no one’s
perfect it’s just a health problem it’s all it is it’s
a bacterial infection or whatever it is
it’s nothing
wrong i mean it happens to people but
the smell itself is such a warning sign to men
whatever the fuck it is
pussy always
smells awesome
when you get down there you
smell the hormones and
the moistness of it it has like this
glazed fucking
scent to it like you just
barely pick it up
you smell a
woman through her
pussy i mean
a clean fresh
pussy is a fantastic odor
but when it’s
nasty when she’s got some sort of a
yeast infection or something
it’s horrifying
like all of your synapses are firing
all of your
senses are going
get the fuck
away from that
the last thing you wanna do
i mean i will eat a girl’s ass
after she gets back from the gym
way quicker
than i would ever even
think about
going down a girl as a
yeast infection
has anybody ever gone down a girl as a
yeast infection
absolutely cottage
cheese is delicious but you know it’s really
you know it’s bad also is so pussy
where they don’t
clean out the
soap enough and you’re licking you’re like this
tastes like i’m fucking washing my soap out
rather be licking a dial factory than i
would a yeast factory
i like i like the
muffler of you ever
have you ever gone down a girl when she had a
yeast infection
well i mean i sure i have
like you know do
at what level does it become a
yeast infection i mean at the one
point it’s like
getting there and then beyond it then it stinks
but i’m sure
you know it’s got this period
blood this period
blood bug you
it depends on the
girl i found
like real blood
i’m now the girls
i’ve recently been turning into
brave are you know putting fucking
stripes underneath my eyes fucking
drinking that shit i
think if you turned on enough you don’t give a fuck
yeah for sure
that’s what it is like whenever i hear like
girls will complain they will tell you stories
about their you know
their boyfriend won’t fuck
them when they’re on the rag and he’s disgusted by it
yeah like that guy’s not that into you
right let me
tell you something if a guy wants to fuck you
he doesn’t care if
your pussies red
that’s that’s nonsense
what is the difference if it’s it’s it’s
slippery and red or
slippery and
clear i don’t
know it can have a
order i don’t give a fuck that’s just blood
if i’m horny
and that’s it you’re on your
period oh there’s
gonna be some
blood but it
works a shower
it’s fucked
by more bleach not just
blood dude it’s like
dude i don’t care clots eggs yeah all of it
embryos i don’t
give a shit chew it up like a country breakfast
when my shit is
ready to go and i go into gorilla mode i don’t
give a fuck about you
i don’t care
about you you’re not
gonna bury your
face in are
you kidding
i would now
fuck yeah i
would i would eat a
pussy yeah red wing
time twenty
right now yeah
if mrs rogan is on her period i’ll eat that
pussy i don’t give a fuck
i like it i don’t care
i’m not scared of blood dude
i got this werewolf
fucking fixation yeah
i’m not i’m not
but i don’t like
those when i feel
to wash it off and then you have like that cocoon
shell on your dick the next morning
where you pull it off like a locust
you forget yeah
yeah you can all be a
crusted and scaly
you gotta pick it off a tree yeah
it’s got its little legs still
like locust
skins it fluffs off like a
oh wow we just took things away
somebody’s turn it’s a good turn man because
that’s a primal
thing these are all like primal messages
that nature gives you these are all good things
that’s good for the chick it’s good for you
you know when you go down on the
chick and you smell her and she
smells awesome and you wanna eat her pussy
that feels good for her too that’s like
extra excitement
like you’re into it she loves it
and there’s just
burst of positive energy that’s all good stuff man
there ain’t nothing
wrong with that
you know and the fact that somehow or another
you’re not supposed to talk
about this or
it’s supposed to be something that’s you know
discussed behind closed doors
that’s just
cause people are afraid yeah
they’re afraid of
their feelings
they’re afraid of emotions they’re afraid of looking
ridiculous well that’s our
whole culture too
we have like a
whole like crash
stop on sex like
oh my god sex like
yeah whoa what do you draw like how come you can’t talk
about one of us is here
because two people
fucked yeah
that’s the how
come you can’t talk
about eating
pussy on the
today show why can’t i go on a
today show and just respect because you
don’t want to
see those what
katie curry
getting horny
you don’t want to see that you’re trying to protect you
they’re trying to protect you from
gross women getting
horny if i caught
katie couric
ten years ago
and we got drunk together in a
hotel corner
right now what are
you talking
about i was a single
man you still you record
record record
come on katie
current if you want some
if you want some
if you ever had some athlete dick
you ever had some
mma fighter dick you ever have some gladiator cock
jason mayhem miller is ready to
throw down do
you want to be mayhem
monkey number four two one you want to see our
rope positions available
you and me in the record books yo our roper
with a boner doing the weather do you want that
why would al roker get hard do you
think al roker
would get hard from
katie kirk fuck yeah
that’s like his
sister that gets more
money than him dude you know they all
but they hate each
other they all fuck each
other in the
dressing room
you are fucking hogging up my
screen time
i bet they get all shitty with each
other i don’t like the way you
threw to that
piece fuck you
katie you made
fifty million dollars this year you fucking whore
they probably yell at each
other shit how
you you read
the fucking weather what do you do what do you do you
pointed shit
you think you’re talented
you think you can
have a conversation you’re
better i’m a conversationist
you’re a fucking sideshow
people tune in to see how much weight you lose
get out of here you
know that their managers do that not them
do you think they bang
could you imagine
katie kirk and that’s
how all bang
secrets are being exposed
because of the internet i mean look at this mel gibson
thing oh my god no gibson is on
this oh my god i love
it more than george w bush
like the best
hilarious guy ever i love him more than i’ve ever
loved a male celebrity
he is hilarious
because he’s a
train wreck
he’s a train
wreck but everybody gets to see it so he can
i’m sure he must have
been a fucking nightmare to be in a relationship with
but i don’t
think we’re
getting all the fucking details out of her either i
think that bitch is fucking cuckoo
and cocoa puffs oh
natalie because
the chicks always
eggidood on
how is she she said
that’s why because she’s already done all the work
now she’s collected
dividends by recording
of here’s the deal
ladies please
if anybody talks to you like that
don’t talk to them
never just hang up don’t ever
engage and i
understand she’s got a kid with them
but let’s be realistic
this shit didn’t
start yeah but this shit didn’t
start recently
those kind of
screams that
motherfucker’s been ramping up for years
yeah that’s years worth
of build up to get to that
point where
that kind of
crazy is acceptable
you know what i mean
you can’t release that kraken on the
second day of the relationship
right to get that kind of crazy
you gotta get to know each
other for a long ass time
to the point
where you feel like you
could just be
completely insane with her
you fucking cunt whore
i hope you get
right by a pack of nuggers he just
starts talking
super crazy talk what
that’s been
building up
what it was like a sex
thing between them and
it was like
role playing and that she took the recordings of
and this is like that’s a good you
know what i like
you fucking
bitch you the
whole time is
master made
that’s why he’s out of breath going
you know what he
could say if he was like a jacqueen phoenix type dude
he could say this is all performance art yes yeah yeah
that’s all he has to
say he could say it’s
like my ea you
know what he
could say too he
could have a public apology
and say none of this was ever meant to get
get out and i
definitely took it too far
and i definitely
think i got too into character
and said some shit that was offensive
and i never wanted people to hear it
and all i was
doing was exploring this character that i was creating
for a new role
about a guy
who was this very wealthy man with a russian
bride who was trying to kill him and he went crazy
so i was exploring this character i apologize
and she took its way out of contacts
and mel call me we
could work this
shit out son
katie mayhem called me i
wanna fuck mayhem and i got it dude we’re
gonna meet you in malibu
we’ll get some
sushi at nobu holla
dude i know
i know a guy that sushi
fk my friend k works there at nobu
we’ll get you together
bro mel we got you dude back twittering this is exist
mel this is all just a misunderstanding
this is a character you’re working on i know
mayhem knows for sure we got you
didn’t it though as a
crazy person mayhem
didn’t it make you
happy that someone was way crazier than you yeah
like i was like whoa i would
never say some shit
like that like i get banana sandwich something like
fucking flip my lid
but i would
never like i don’t know maybe
it’s just not my character though like i don’t lie
like i wouldn’t say anything
racist cause i
would say some
crazy shit but i
could never
bring it to that level
where you’re like shit whore
cut then again
i don’t have any kids
so baby it made him
crazy like when a dog has a baby it
starts to get
super protective well dr drew says
and i don’t know if dr drew is
right but dr drew says that he
thinks that what it is is an imbalance he
he thinks that mel gibson is something
wrong with his
brain yeah for sure bipolar
well because
if he’s getting hammered all the time and then
yelling at cops
about that was the other
thing dr drew said he was talking about
recovery and the fact that
mel was in recovery for alcohol and then he might have
fucked up and fell off the wagon
so he might like
legitimately be
crazy yeah you know
sounds like it
sounds like it
right like cause that’s not normal guy psycho
he would hung up
after he set his piece
brian you ever
met anybody that crazy
yeah it’s usually thyroid
conditions and shit like that but
maybe he just got so
stuck into the like lethal
weapon you met
somebody that crazy
huh you mess up you who do you know that’s that crazy
i made a stripper
that you don’t have to say names and x
yeah okay okay no not
just a person just a girl i know that used
to work with okay oh that girl
that the one the one with the hair yes that girl
and that girl
would get that crazy huh
well you could tell it was a
irritation brought on by you know
of chemicals chemicals
stuff you know yeah
and you could tell it was just one day was awesome
other day it was like
the worst storm and
people that don’t have any medical issues are so
quick to dismiss that shit
right you know the bottom line is man
the body fucks up and sometimes
doesn’t produce the shit it’s supposed to produce
right totally
i just think
anytime somebody has
you know whatever a mental condition
and then he
and then exacerbates it with alcohol
alcohol drugs or whatever it
means popping them adderall so you know
that’ll make you say a lot of guys who write
do adderall
apparently yeah because you sit
there super
focused and right i tried that
and i had a flip out like that
because the doctor said oh you have add
oh really i’ve add
i’m just hyperactive really
and then he gave me that
stuff and for a while i was writing blogs on mayhem
or right or whatever
man out of nowhere to start flipping out like
losing my mind well
it’s like speed
it is speed it is methamphetamine
salts that’s what it’s called
they didn’t even
hide the name in a different name it is methamphetamine
salt yeah that’s what it’s called the generic
you get generic it’s methamphetamine salts
generic for adderall
like whoa they’re selling this to kids
brian look that up
no i’m not no
i believe you but
i want to cause
after i may be
crazy i was
a chemical termist that’s insane yeah i have a friend
what should i google
adderall adderall
and make you
psycho name
chicks take it all the time
at all i’ve been in wikipedia probably i know
two model chicks who take that i
have as friend
of your appetite
yeah they just walk around
super scrawny and
ripped up oh my god that’s so
crazy how much
b twelve do you take per day
i probably take a five hundred milligrams
are you sure
about that why
just wondering you
just being what brian
i found that adderall i like niacin
better i have a
buddy who’s
a comic who’s on the adderall
and he says it helps him
says before
yeah well he’s a dude who
doesn’t take care of himself his body
he’s in his 40s
and he looks like he’s falling
apart he’s just one of
those dudes that’s just
never been real health conscious
and he was having issues with energy and focus
and they got him on this adderall shit and now this
motherfucker just works his ass off
he could just sit in
front of the computer 10
hours at a stretch and
write books
hey man hitler
gave it to the
to the fighter the soldiers in his army
hell what do you call
her what am i
talking about
there’s greetings there’s greedy’s
in the vietnam era
the greetings the guys are taking it and
going on ruck marches for like two or
three days well i thought
the japanese invented it i thought they invented it
and then they tested it out on kamikaze
pilots that’s what i had read
or maybe i had seen a documentary
remember totally
but it was something on
the creation
of methamphetamines and it was connected to kamikaze
pilots that that’s how they talked
those guys into
going crazy and
slamming their
plane into boats
is that they were all methed out of
their heads
which totally makes sense
yeah i don’t imagine being in war
you imagine
being over there always
army being in war
and being methed out of your fucking mind
surrounded by
other dudes
methed out of
their fucking
mind and everyone’s got guns yeah but you know what
jack dudes are like real serious i
lived over there they’re like very like
focused on everything
they’re probably like warrior
culture huh yeah yeah
i love it over there man
it’s great i love it
you’re a huge
star over there too
you’re a much bigger star in
japan than you are i wish that i
you know they i
could fight over there more
but right now they
kinda these
fuck animals love you over there oh man
it’s true you know why because i make an effort
and actually my
riotron and
miley you know my best
buddy i call maniki
that means like big brother
and he’s like my guy and i
lived over there and i
like because of the
limited japanese i can speak
with japanese
fighters and i
would just be me
and you know
18 japanese
fighters eating at a sumo restaurant
like that is me and
bunch japanese dudes
and i kind of got used to
their culture
right i kind
of got into it like i was like fan i’m a japanese dude
right now they’re so serious man you know i
hope that’s not
true but i don’t mean
about not joking around
i mean about like
their their
their energy like
their warrior
spirit they’re so fucking driven with it you know it
it’s such an interesting
culture the
culture that
really appreciates the effort
like dudes will lose and get
so many fans
you know dudes will just
fight like a warrior go
out yoshi show
heart in losses
you become more and more popular look at sakuraba
it didn’t matter how many times he lost
nobody ever gave up on him
it’s like boxing like if
dale hoya gets
knocked the fuck out two times in a row nobody’s
gonna go see him
fight everyone’s
gonna say hang it up
dale hoya but
sakuraba dude it
doesn’t matter how many times he got his egg scrambled
people showed up to
watch him fight
again and they
cheered him like he
was they respected him because yeah it’s a bit of those
lesser versions
where he’s getting his ass kicked and come back and win
i love japan just for k1
i just love that they put on k1
cause if it wasn’t for japan
like real high
level kickboxing
especially in
those big heavyweights and shit
there’d be nothing man
where the fuck
are anybody putting on shows in america i mean
there are multi
shows and shit like that but there’s nothing televised
there’s nothing that people
like had that
steam built like the ufc from
their negative side
where no one had that
steam built
about kickboxing
that anybody cared
kickboxing was like a
stupid movie was amongst
my level guys though man it’s so fucking
exciting i know the pka
that pka karate
shit in the 80s
ruined kickboxing in america because everybody got the
the concept bad
brad hefton
and shit throwing
flippy kicks and yeah it’s like
super like d
level athletes
doing this and
there’s such a big difference between
kickboxing above the
waist and kickboxing with leg kicks yeah you add
those leg kicks it changes the
whole for you got to be way
stronger like you have to be like a strong
tough dude who
yeah mentally
could take it because
yo my legs are sore
right now from this morning’s
training and how
we took like two with
with shit pads on did you see the his
oh shamrock fight
last weekend
paid for himself
no shamrock
yeah i didn’t see that can
shamrock got
smashed oh come on he
stood up though
but he finished him with a leg kick
yeah the final leg kick he’s
so it is so hard to
watch man you
watch you just go ah
because you
could feel pedro
with those tree trunk legs
just the bone just slams into ken’s leg and you look on
ken’s face for years for years
yeah so the
randy couture
fight randy had a rehab
his legs for six fucking
months i know he has like a
weird vein sticking
out from that
fight so does randoman
from hit pedro hiso
both guys from his oh
chop at you so hard
with such good technique and he’s so fucking big he
would jack guys legs so bad
they would literally
never be the same
again i’ll tell you you know you as a fighter
one of the rare
awesome things i’ve seen in my life like
i just remember the
first time i kick somebody
real good in their ribs
i kicked them hard
with my shin bone
was one of the most amazing feelings cause i
never knew boy tie
i moved to california and
train boy tie for real and kicked the pads real hard
and then i remember the guy came and he
threw a left he
threw a jab
and i turned and kicked
and when my shin
with like it went
into his ribs i could feel
everything move
right in there
man almost unreal feeling my life because i felt
his body changed
because what i was doing
and i was like
man and he was
after that point of the
fight he was
kinda done like he was like
and he let me beat him up
cause i kicked him i got him a good one in the ribs
and he was done
after that because
you know your body
your body is
to go that way muay
thai is the way to go there’s some kicks from
taekwondo that are really effective that guys are
using now like
kang lee’s bringing back the turning
sidekick in a 360
dudes spart
would piss me off
they’re like
that you learn how to kick
where you’re like what
about like it’s a hard one but it’s so fast
right and it’s not the same as a boy tie kick
where you digging through with the
whole body yeah
there’s fast hair
it’s faster
yeah the guys
will piss me off just
kick me across the face real
quick the best guys
are the guys who have the combination of both types of
styles they
have the ability to
throw like taekwondo fast kicks
sidekicks and
turning sidekicks but they also have the muay
thai leg kicks
and the muay thai
defense is important too you know
you gotta know how to fucking deal with
those shins
slamming into your arms
was those pka
guys they never got kicked like that
very rarely did a guy get his arm broken the pka
but in like k1 labana
broke his arm i mean
frank shamrock got his arm broken because
you have to be
aware of the leg kicks too yeah
so like you’re like
worrying about all this guy’s
gonna kick me in the leg
were you right
prime range from to kick
your arm off its side it’s that but it’s also the shin
you know those
other guys just did not
understand the
power the shin everybody was
going in step i
understand the power
yeah but you know here’s what that if you take away
a boy tie guys leg kicks
right and make him by pk
that style of
above the waist
lends itself for like slap
fights yeah it
doesn’t turn into like a real
kickboxing match
where you got
another huge element when you add knees and you
add those leg kicks oh
that huge huge
huge element because you know why i’ve thought
about a lot and i visualized it a lot
and i always like
in my fights i always feel
then okay this is the end of my
range with my hands
and i go i feel
about with my legs i go
okay that’s the end of my
range with my kicks
and i figure that out in the
first minute or two
and i go okay that’s
where i can play
okay so then you know i
with that kickboxing thing
you gotta stand so
close to each
other and what not you can’t really
get a good dig
you know you can’t really get
there wasn’t
exciting knockouts it was like
a lot of times guys standing
like rocket
soccer robots just
up kicking out
i mean there were some
exciting fighters like
don the dragon wilson was really
exciting at it and
i was like a little kid
who wants that
dennis alexio he fought
when they had leg kick style
that was that was leg kick stop yeah but that was
a transition
where they were trying to put like
leg kick fights on tv i remember don
wilson fought alexio on
tv what yeah
i don’t remember man was back in the day son
but don don
the dragon wilson fucked up dennis
alexio with leg kicks yeah that’s how he won that
fight yeah so but once you take that away
there’s not a big
spot where you
could set up
to make a hard kick to the
up aren’t you surprised though that someone
hasn’t figured out a way to do some sort of a k1
thing in america
i know k1 has had a few
fights in america but
how the fuck is that not on tv so
like whenever that shit’s on like the k1
grand prix i get
fired up see
like butter hard
all the time
they put it on there but
you know it’s one of
those things that has broken
over thank god
for mark cuban and that ht
net man i watch more
mma because of ht
net that’s a
great network
i’m just surprised that no one’s got a kickboxing lead
i think kickboxing
chuck norris got a kickboxing
i went to that
shit son i got a hug by
chuck norris yeah one of the
proudest moments of my life and i was
so pissed i didn’t want to go back and say can i take a
picture with you and be all cheesy
but chuck norris when he met me
he reached out his hand and gave me this big
giant hug and
he like slapped me on the back i’m like i’m in
um and do you
understand me i just got love from
chuck norris do you remember
any details from that day like that certain smell or a
like a love
i remember love was in the air no dude
we were at vegas
and we were at a wcl one of those
world kickboxing leagues or whatever
the name of it was it was
vegas or atlantic city i
think it was
vegas i’m not sure anyway
i just went up and i said
to one of the guys that was working there said do you
think i can meet
chuck norris
and the guy goes yeah i’m like fuck yeah come on man
and he just brought me over to
chuck norris and i was just
gonna say sir i’m a huge fan very nice to meet you
and but chuck norris
fucking opens his arms gives me his big
giant smile
and says joe what’s
going on here
man give me this big hug
joe rogan so awesome
he got a hug
from chuck norris
and lived to tell the tale
it is beard
scratch your
cheeks i wish it did
dude i was for real man
as a kid i was a huge quarter
chuck norris fan
and to the dragon that
fight with bruce lee
all the fucking
missing in action
movies i mean as dumb as they were
what was that lone wolf
mcquaid that was a shit son come on man with a little
david carradine
extra points
lomo of okay dude
chuck norris was the fucking man
so for me to have
chuck norris recognize me
and give me his big hug and call me by name
i was like oh
shit it’s like the best birthday present ever
game has morpheus
morpheus do
what no you don’t want to
audio no that
would be fine
i don’t want to talk about that
i don’t care
stalker character
i don’t want to give him fuel you know i’m saying
i see you baby
shaking that
ass shaking
an ass your dogs giving up on trying to kill
yeah he’s good he settled
just want to kick it
he was he was
ready to fucking engage yo man yo he hates squirrels
birds and cats
like he will fuck some shit up
if it’s if he can get a hold of it he’ll run
i’ve seen him run into this into a busy
on fairfax and
libre i mean
fairfax and third
he ran out into the
street after a bird
let me ask you this what do you think
about strike
force do you like working for them
yeah so cool
everyone’s cool i mean
yeah you know i feel like they just have
some certain
problems that
will be fixed
as time goes on
but you think if it wasn’t for this battle
with the diaz brothers this this
thing in post fight
thing with gilbert
munda is anything
do you think you
would be challenging for the title
right now because
jake just abandoned it
i mean you had
the toughest
fight with him your
fight with him was
way tougher than henderson’s fight with
you know i guess
i guess you know what i shouldn’t say that
that’s not really fair
because dan came really
close to putting them out the
same thing is dan
came closer to
putting them out really
jake is such a damn good
fighter he like
jake you up
as fuck yeah he went
fuck it i’m just
gonna keep going
but from that
point on it was a route
yeah i mean it did one
close i was like it
seemed like dan was having a
hard time making way it didn’t seem like the normal dan
oh really yeah
i think i think 85 is
hard for him
he looked he looked like kind of
run down yeah
dan’s a thick dude
i think him making 85
hello i disagree with you i know this because i
train really
he like walks around like 197 but he
doesn’t like cutting that weight man well of course
cause dude he’s fucking
40 years old you
know yeah but that’s what i’m saying i’m saying at that
age you know you
get over it i’m sure you get over it you know he’s been
making weight
since he was what like
brian what was it
what are you doing nothing
like eight years old i know but
when you get
to be 40 that’s really hard to do yeah for sure but
dan if he catches you with that fucking
right hand oh god
damn you got problems we all know that
that dude’s got
one missile man
let me knocked out vanda
way vandala
was left oh he’s
got a strong core and yeah
oh yeah super hard
punch yeah you got fucking problems you know
i mean he’s not like
you know a masato technique
striker yeah
yeah but god
damn he’s got haymakers but uh you
know yeah maybe i
kinda gave strike
force a black eye
you know i brought some attention to us
but i gave strike
force a black eye a little bit by
cause of that
whole drama
but did you
cause it you didn’t want to start a
fight i didn’t want to
start a fight of course i want to go on their ass
you wanted to hype up a rematch and
everybody’s on cbs let’s make some money
let’s get everybody
fired up and enthusiastic
about this and everybody wins
it’s not like you were
going in there with
an angry mean face on
looking to fight him
right and there
what it was was
it’s like i don’t know the cbs not get it
everybody was mad at me and i’m like guys
what happened
negative here
i got jumped on i didn’t get hurt
i totally did not
understand why you were getting all the
blame for that i know
the people who
should have got the
blame were the people who let you in
no one should have let you in that was an oversight
they know that now it’ll
never happen
again that’s what
running a business is all
about no one’s perfect
but once that said
what it was
was there was too many fucking people in the octagon
there was you who was
an unwanted person in the octagon
and you were
with someone who was getting
their glory
the whole thing was just badly run it was
chaos you get a
bunch of fucking dogs together okay
and dogs start growling
and shit happens
you can’t get mad at the dogs
you just can’t
look i think those guys
should have done that but
fuck man you know emotions run high
after victories
things happen people get crazy
and what’s the
worst that happened
they have got
jumped on tv yeah you got fucking kicked in the head
while you on the ground
i got fined
for it and it’s suspended i’m like
how long they suspended for
three months
three months and but if i
would have argued with it
it would have been like
you can’t win because
if you win it sets a precedent i know yeah
when is the last time anybody ever
tried to get a
fight overturned or
protested something ever
and it came through
any steroid tasks anything radical
protest is some
stoppage or something and it worked
no it didn’t
never works nobody
yeah benji radic protested the
scott smith fire wasn’t it wasn’t it
yeah i think was a
you thought it was stopped too soon
you know what man that
people fuck up and it’s a terrible
thing that people
fuck up but once they fuck up it’s very rare that it
is like look
straight to the future with the positive mindset
and usually you know works out for me
so who do they have
lined up for you in
october i’m not sure
we’re trying to put big diaz together
oh goodness yeah little grudge
match so so
guess what i
started a grudge match
and it ended up
now they’re
gonna use it you know what i mean like
okay now we got a grudge
match well that
would be a hyped up
fight you know
so that would be in
october do you know
where it’s gonna be at
nope no i don’t know anything i don’t know
if it’s happening yet but you know i like to rub my
mouth off and hopefully make it happen
are you bummed out that you don’t
fight for the ufc
no no you’re
fine with strike
you know i got a good deal and
whatever and cool yeah the
ufc’s the biggest show in town and and i
understand that and
like when you see like
you know like jail sun and
challenging anderson for the
title you look at that shit and
said god damn it that
could be me i wish yeah
i wish i could
fight anderson
yeah it’s like one of those
things like
like right now at this
stage of my career cool
if something gets worked out
where i could
work with them in the future okay cool but
you know right now i have a contract
and you know i’m
generally pretty
happy and you know
whatever how cool
are you with dana you and dana cool
i don’t know
i don’t know
about but she
doesn’t say hi to me
so i’m like oh
well damn did say hi to me like what
but i don’t know you
think you’re
crazy man me were
you thinks i’m
crazy i and i don’t
blame them because my
i’m crazy but but not the pretty
controlled and if you
if i get on the same page as somebody
we could be
crazy i’ll be the crazy guy
and you make some money
we’ll both make money
how long do you
think bully b town is
gonna go on
man the way too long i
think i’ll be old
man really yeah dude it’s
it’s juggernaut
god i thought it wasn’t and then i did the third
season i recorded it all
and it’ll be released that you
know how crazy it
would be if you were on
bully beat down and you’re the
ultimate fighter at
the same time
bro i already have too much tv time as god as it is
right now you can’t take it yeah
no i like it
i don’t mind
but what i’m saying is i don’t know people
get sick of me
no one’s gonna get sick of you mayhem
don’t worry
about that fella all
right we’re here for you all
right just take a little bit less b12
yeah no man
what is it about the b12
gives you energy you
think too much b 12s
know what i
did this girl nice
and fucking
freaks me out man
huh nice oh
man you burn your
whole body your
whole body man
you know what i got used to it now and i like it i like
it like it’s burning my
whole body but i like it
i did this girl got me all the
vitamins and what not and man i’m like this is the best
thing that happened to me
that’s very
important man supplements it’s amazing nobody yeah
i you know what i just
started taking supplements like this year
i never took supplements i was just like whatever wow
that’s crazy
it’s stupid
to what it is because i yeah you need
yeah i didn’t
think that it was that important but man i feel
a market difference well you know what it is is it’s
market it’s
marketed rather if you
listen to people
like doctors
tell you all you need is a multivitam and all that
stuff is nonsense
you know why
it’s because it’s not fda approved oh it’s not approved
well it doesn’t mean just because it’s not approved
doesn’t mean it
doesn’t work
right there’s a lot of anecdotal
evidence for people that are taking it that are having
pretty positive results there’s like
nootropics that i take that make your
brain work better
there’s a whole
bunch of yeah
yeah give me some of that yeah i got some i’ll
write you down a list of all the different charities
you know what it is
but there’s a
bunch of different
things that are designed
new tropics designed just to increase cerebral
activity you know you’re talking
about that and
i think that we live in a
culture where
it’s not about living better really it’s about
just living
above the death line
like nobody wants a
nobody wants to
know we really think
about it yeah nobody wants to be
fantastic yeah
yeah it’s like you know i had
no feeling fantastic is bad and
wrong that’s why you’re not allowed to smoke pot
anywhere but
california well there’s that you know
how about men
how much does it drive you
crazy when dudes
who don’t work out will talk shit on exercise
and the importance of keeping your body
healthy yeah
it’s the best
ignorant view
where a lot of people are ignorant
and then they take
pride in their
ignorance yeah
it’s like dude when your body works better your
brain feels better it all works better the
whole thing flows better so true
but nobody wants to
admit that that’s
their issue
nobody wants to admit that
their lack of exercise and
everything no
no no no i don’t need nobody needs to work out
i don’t want to
comics are fucking
famous i know that kind of shit
comics are always
bitching and whining and they just want to
sleep till three and don’t do anything
constantly that that shit is so important for you man
yeah well i just
think the people
in general it’s easier to be lazy and then
bitch about it because that’s
funny and you get positive reinforcement
from people
laughing at that like oh
yeah i hate
working out yeah
yeah there’s a little bit of that
misery loves company
but i had a
conversation with a dude once we was talking
about like what’s the
point in exercise and what’s the
point working out
i go all right
if i could give you a pill
and this pill
would give you a super
powerful body like
ridiculous much more
powerful than normal person you could
literally take the normal man and strangle him at will
you could take him
manhandle him
treat him like a girl and
choke him to death
if i gave you a pill that
would give you that
wouldn’t you take it
wouldn’t you want to have that
power i mean
would you want to have this
superpower i give you a pill
and it turns you into an assassin
and i’m like well you can have that stupid
all i have to do is work out
if you train
and you do some kettlebells
wait wait wait
wait wait no
it’s not for
you working as a salesman
at 24 hour fitness
i don’t understand that
legends in hollywood
they got me
they got me
under the tech
planet jiu jitsu
affiliation program i’m trying to sign people up you
enjoy working out though
where a lot of people don’t
enjoy you know what i
enjoy i enjoy
jiu jitsu because
jiu jitsu to me is like
it’s an awesome distraction i got so much
going on in my life
when i get into jujutsu
and i’m rolling with
some dude and we are just trying to kill each other
i’m trying to
choke him he’s trying to choke me
we are battling
we’re pacing ourselves
i know what this
motherfucker’s doing he keeps
going for the deep half
sweep i gotta keep that
underhook i
gotta stop him
there’s like this battle
going on and when that battle’s
going on man i don’t think
about shit else
i’m not thinking
about i need to
clean my office i’m not
thinking about
i need to call that dude about this
thing i need to get my shit together and
write this new material
no i’m just
doing jujitsu
i’m in that zone because it’s so
difficult to do it puts you in the zone
you know and it’s like a fun fucking game
yeah why we’re on it you need to
clean your office bro a little bit right
yeah if you only had the passion with
cleaning yo yo give
those i love windex pine
sol yeah that’s a new show dude the fucking aggro
cleaning guy
i fucking hey
you’re telling me that mr
clean’s not on
juice look at
that guy he’s lost all his hair yo jack he looks
like kryta zinski
he does he does
right with no
tattoos no tattoos all
swollen shit
kristoff is a fucking
sculpted specimen
yeah he is right
like how the hell do you look like that goddamn
specimen cool
motherfucker too
him and his girl
hung out with them in england cool shit
krystoff was on the ultimate
fighter for people who don’t know
super nice guy
that’s the thing about
mma that people
don’t realize is how many nice people there are
that are involved in it and in martial arts in general
like some of the nicest
people i know
are dudes that have fought
and dudes that
trained because
you have like a better control of your ego
you’re like you know
you used to getting your ass kicked
used to finding out your real
boundaries by
breaking yourself down
you know by getting to the
point where
you know you
literally can’t fucking breathe you
literally are in
class and when
everyone says time
and you drop to your back you know you
literally you’re broken
whereas other people they hardly ever
experience that
they don’t experience
the boundaries
of their of
their drive the
boundaries of
their discipline
you know so like the people that i’ve met that are like
fighters like some of the coolest
fucking people you ever meet in your life you know
they have to show
their ass the
world man it’s
definitely a
you gotta drop you gotta
whoever you are
comes out in the
cage like you have to really be yourself for a second
and you have to deal with the pain
they’re like oh my god
i don’t want to be a bitch and
dad you never
loved me and
shit like that goes through your head you know
like it’s not you know you you have to confront
these real fears and real
you have to confront everything
and i say all of you guys out there at
cyberspace be a cage fighter
just for a day and
there’s growth
in that there’s growth in that
when you understand your
boundaries and you hit them
you get to know yourself better
you get to know yourself better than the average dude
who doesn’t do shit with his body
you know there’s something
about doing something really difficult
will power wise with your body like
training and
especially training in
jiu jitsu and shit well
there’s battles man sometimes
guys got your
back and you’re defending and you know you
could just tap out and this is
gonna be over but
the other side of your
brain is going no we’re gonna
gut this out as long as we possibly can
and there’s that
fence that you’re dancing on
where you’re like let me just tap
right here fuck this
but it’s so
uncomfortable and so difficult to get through
but your willpower
allows you to survive
and then you get through and you’re like
motherfucker i got through that i thought i was gone
i thought i was gone and now i’m on top oh shit
and now i’m passing
it’s like this overcoming of adversity
a lot of people
never experienced that
especially physically
where your mind
has to control your body through some uncomfort
you know yeah i know
i guess you
could get the same
effect from like
i don’t know run a marathon or
do something physically
where you have to push your body the mind
and the willpower have to control the body
i think it’s much more
difficult when you’re doing it in a competition like
mma or anything like boxing or
jiu jitsu anything where it’s
a dude is trying to kill you you
know then it’s much more difficult
yeah definitely
but shit man think
about the kind of willpower that’s involved in a tour
de france i know
those guys are just
pedaling just
pumping their
legs just doing the same movement discipline
damn when i look at like
lance armstrong
i go that must be the most boring intense
motherfucker alive
you know he
does some boring ass shit he’s just
pedaling i mean
it’s not boring
i mean obviously they’re racing and it’s
awesome countryside and shit and
all this attention and all this energy but
doing the same
thing for days
yeah that shit
takes days it’s like who’s the most boring
intense motherfucker on
earth let’s find out everybody get together
get on a bike let’s
we have the same
thing for like accounting or something the
fucking accounting olympics guys just adding fucking
bills up for fucking
six days straight
yeah there’s something
about that like sheer
test of discipline
that are so uncomfortable for me
you know i have you know because because as a fighter
i have like you know
some serious discipline
to get inside
the room and
fight with other guys
for you know at
least an hour like i’m doing that for at
least an hour a day
and pretty much my entire life i’ve done that
the other side
i can’t fill out a fucking form
without getting distracted like i’m like sitting there
house application
was the funniest
thing i’ve ever done
cause i’m sitting there like
motherfucker if you put one more
paper in my face
i’m gonna slap your fucking notary public face off
you know i i like god
it’s like all day just sitting there i hate i hated it
that’s funny
yeah it’s a
different it’s a different it’s a
different so i
look i’m very
like when i look at a lawyer or whatever i’m like wow
you fucking look at
papers and read shit
all day like dude i am the
exact same way i’m a retard
when it comes to like filling out forums and shit
and i get on
like page 10 i feel like someone’s hitting me
someone’s drowning me like stop this is boring
and i think what it is is like you don’t want to
you don’t want to put your brain
on that low an
rpm where you yeah
reading this and reading that sucks
making sure this is okay and making sure that’s okay
tell that to
every teacher that i fucking
have worked with you know
square pegs and
round hulls man that’s what it is
the big fucking problem with
teachers is they’re trying to turn everybody into a
robot that assumes a job out there in the world
and there’s people with unique personalities that
could be artists and no one recognized that
whether it’s
a martial artist or a fucking singer or a comedian
no one looks at that as a viable path for
a job you know so
teachers want you to be able to get a job they want you
to do you know what it takes to
get a job at
some company and move on well let’s be honest i
most people
that’s what you have to do
you can’t cater
you can’t cater most
schoolwork to anyone who’s an artist but there
should be some way to recognize when someone’s unusual
there should be some way to recognize
and part of
it is that the kids don’t have any discipline
and that’s why they’re fucking
going squirrely and that’s why they can’t read and
it’s probably
their home life
but you’re not
gonna fix that okay
you could try to
square out that fucking
round peg and
shove them into that hole
but you’re only
gonna get so far you know
but and you’re trying to say okay let’s take all the
wacky kids and put them in a special
class take all
these kids who are definitely
gonna be construction workers put them in this
class no i don’t
think that i
think there should be
other opportunities there
should be like some people don’t want to be comedians
you know some
people don’t want to be singers
but there should be some sort of
an avenue that you find
is interesting
and you can go towards it in school
you know what i’m saying
but there’s no viable option for
class clowns
no viable options for disruptive kids
but disruptive
kids have something there’s something there
first of all it’s a terrible thing
it’s undisciplined it fucks up the
school for the rest of kids and
it’s because one kid is imbalanced
because one kid probably
didn’t get enough attention at home or one kid had an
abusive family and this is the way he
learned how to get attention by
lashing out and
focusing attention on himself
that said you got a kid who’s willing to do some
crazy shit that
other kids aren’t willing to do now yeah
okay so you’re not
gonna fix him
you can teach him
about you know the consequences of him doing that
and how he’s fucking it up for
everybody else and that creates bad energy and this is
where we’re gonna
focus your energy
but you’re not
gonna take away that energy
that crazy energy that some people have
it just needs to be
fair that was me man i was the kid in high
school that was like
if you just
applied yourself jason
if you just
well i did i
heard in a completely different direction
i did fighting
for writing but
that’s what
people don’t
understand you
apply yourself in that way
somehow or another that’s not valid
like because you know some
aren’t there
like for me
yeah for me it was art i used to draw a lot
and martial arts
so those were the two
things and neither one
of them seemed like any sort of a viable career option
there’s no money in mars
you didn’t think of animation being a cartoonist
because that’s what i thought either a cartoonist or
doing radio so the
whole time i’m going to
school i’m like you know i don’t fucking care
about math history
i’m just gonna
sleep because i don’t care
about any of this i’m
never gonna use it i kind of knew that the
whole time i don’t
think i ever thought
about animation no
why’d you think
about animation because
i was like a huge disney fan cartoon fan oh really
yeah me i was more
comic books i love
comic books yeah
comic books too that’s how i got into it yeah
i definitely had aspirations to be a
comic book artist we talked about this
on one of the
earlier podcasts but i just had a really douchey art
teacher in high school
and he had me convinced that i was
gonna have to draw like diaper ads and shit and that
things were
gonna be boring and he
got some bad
teachers so many
people have bad teachers
i mean he wasn’t a bad
teacher he’s just a bad socially
he was a beaten man with no spine
he had a weak will
and he didn’t
like being around me i was this martial arts fighter
this kid who was
fighting in
taekwondo tournaments i always had like taekwondo
t shirts on i was
so proud that i won all
these taekwondo tournaments i
would wear taekwondo
shit everywhere
that was the
first thing i was ever any good at you know what
in high school i knew that kid he was the
karate champion
bro i begged that when i was like 16 i begged him to
spar hey man
to spar and i didn’t realize that i was scaring him
cause he like
i was like yeah yeah
no we’re gonna
fight you just you can kick me and use your karate
and i know how to
wrestle i’m
gonna try to fight you
and then we’ll see who wins and i’m telling
this to this kid who’s sitting there like me like
fuck that i
found out the future of
mma when i was 15 years old
when i was a sophomore in high
school actually i
think i was 14 my friend steven
arduino was
on the wrestling team
a good wrestler
and i wasn’t
wrestling i was just doing taekwondo
and we were really good friends we were always talking
about like if you
fight i’ll just fucking take you down and
punch you in the face
i’d be like
bitch you can’t take me down and so
we went out in the
grass and this
motherfucker took me down over and over
again it was so sad
because it was so easy for him to take it
down i had no
wrestling at all i had no i’ve
never even thought
about wrestling someone
except like
fucking around my friends
and he just
would fucking
stand in front of me
put his hand in my face
shoot a double
bang i’ll be on my back you kept
trying to kill that
stuff no no no
no it was just me stopping we’re friends it was
just me stopping him from taking me down whatever bro
you know how i got a big martial arts right
my fat chubby friend
named pierre
showed me the ufc
the early ones with the fucking head butts and
everything and
showed me like valentino brazil
and he’s like and show me the newer
ufcs at the time like is 90
i don’t know 95 or six
he showed me
those and like pedro or
marco who os
versus paul varlin
oh and i was like yeah
yeah exactly so i was like
man i was like oh i
could do this and he’s like
do you want to
spar me and i’m like
you mean fight
in the backyard and he’s like
yeah yeah yeah we’ll
spar you know we’ll wear
production and
it was this kind
of martial artists
i’m gonna kill you
like i’m like
i thought are you you know bubba
i beat bubba’s ass in the
front yard is
giant fat black kid he’s like 300
pounds like the
scariest dude
i beat the shit out of him because i knew how to fight
like i would i
would always
spar around with my dad
so i knew how to box and
stuff and whatever
he we go out in the backyard
we said i had this
break dancing
mat that i had we laid that down on top of the
grass so we had it some padding because i knew
i was gonna fuck them off
man we squared off
in our taki
chest protectors
he fucking spin kicked me
in the fucking
in my bread
basket i’ve
never been kicked like that i was like oh my god
so i went to the miller
the miller standby
and it’s the move i always did my dad
taught me it
it worked all the time one
two and if that doesn’t
knock him down on the ground
you grab his head
which i did and
threw him down on the ground
i did that and
started fucking
wailing on him like i was like i’m winning i’m winning
he starts wiggling around and shit
and the next
thing i know
he locked me up
i’m fucking waking up
in my backyard looking at the trees like quietly
and he’s looking down at me and i like
oh my god he’s like
wow that was a triangle
choke that i
learned that gracie
jiu jitsu that was the
first time i ever did that to somebody i’m like
fuck i gotta
learn this shit
he’s tiny he
beat my ass just decided to
fight yeah my
dad was looking out the window
laughing at me like
you fucking
idiot i like man
was sleeping you know like i was like i never
i never knew that there was some
magical shit went once were on the ground
i just figured it’s
like i wrestle a little bit in high school
and i figured you know
until i realized you have to wear
those tight ass
pants and i quit and then
i was like wow
did he just
he beat me he
was on his back i was winning i was winning
and i saw that
i saw hoist
gracie do it
but i was like yeah
right it’s just
cause he’s wearing the
stupid pajamas it’s
a fun thing
to be able to do to people you don’t realize how
powerful jujutsu
oh you don’t know how crazy
wrestling is
when you get a
nightclub altercation
and you like push somebody off balance like oh my god
they like they look like bambi on the ice
their feet are all slipping
especially kind of
like leather
shoes on oh
man you’re on the
floor those
leather shoes are so
ridiculous like wearing
leather shoes is
just going out like in handcuffs i wear like pro
wrestling boots when i go out to
the club yeah
no doubt pro
wrestling all day at
least up to
the beat wait a
minute for real
no get out of
here pro wrestling
shoes no i wear i call it pro
wrestling boots because dude
they’re called
jump but you
weren’t know the
thing about that
their tennis
shoes their
tennis shoes
but they look like
classy ass shoes
and they lace up to like super high
chicks love them when i was
young i was so
stupid every time i bought a pair of
pants i would have to make sure that i
could kick somebody in the head
with my pants on
i would like practice taekwondo kicks with my fucking
pants on just to make sure if some shit goes down
i want to make sure
you know yo
you know my old man he’s in the army for years
20 years stuff like that
and he was like a really
legit motherfucker like went to war and kill people
whatever he’s like
kind of bad he’s an old fucking fat bastard now
but but he and he went to korea
you know to like i don’t know whatever
training or whatever and he had a
post up at the korean border
you know like they do that over there
he sees there he tells me
when he comes
back and i’m like eleven he’s telling me this story
boy i was in a bar out there
this little chinese guy like that you’re in korea
little chinese guy
got into it with me
kicked me in the fucking face i like what
what do you mean he fell down he’s like no he
kicked me in the face he bought me a taekwondo uniform
you need to practice this
and i was like
i don’t know like 10
and i went to taekwondo
because of that
story my dad got kicked in the face by taekwondo guy
yeah i imagine your dad looking out the window
laughing while your uncle
over the sink
over the sink
and he’s laughing at me hahaha
and i’m like damn
but you need a dad like that to become a
jason mayhem miller
regular dad
a regular dad is not gonna make
a guy like you i know it’s
not possible you know what i remember the brazilians
when i was doing tournaments all time when i was really
young 18 19
brazilians got a
crazy story of me because i
would always tell
these stories
or me and my dad will
fight whatever and
we’d get into it and or we’d
spar around
and we’d get
start off as a joke and they
would get real like we’d fucking really fight
and i would tell
those stories to the brazilians and then it got a
story like man i heard that
jason miller
he’s his dad
would hit him with beer bottles to make him
tougher that’s like the most american indian
sound in brazilian accent ever
oh really fucking
tonto and shit
the great winter
eagles take from
north my bad
my accent sucks
but you get the
point the guy was like yeah
everybody thought that my dad beat the shit out of me
he did but like it was a lot of times it was like
i remember we were like
getting into it that in the kitchen
and i was like fucking
fight with them and then he
grabbed me around and like
it was we didn’t call real
nigga choke it was a
sleeper hold he got me in a
sleeper hold
i was like choking and i
wouldn’t quit
he’s like boy tap out boy tap out you know
and i was like
fourteen fifteen
and i was like
he’s choking
me and choking me and i was like fuck that i’m not
gonna tap out
you know and and
i just remember finally he let me go
cause he’s like that’s enough
but it was too late
i remember reaching for
the refrigerator handle
and then waking up in
condiments like i put me out i like
covered in like the fucking mayonnaise
and shit mustard i like
and he’s laughing because i
my mom’s like what are you doing and i like
that took me out
like that he was laughing
was this an actual
fight fight or was it like
no no we’re playing
as playing we’re playing but listen man in redneck
culture you have to
understand that
if there’s a line that’s
drawn like your plan
and then you’re not really playing anymore and then
it comes from one step for somebody biting somebody or
something like
that that’s how
people get shot
yeah exactly
you know and i can
understand that i’m
proud i’m proud
that it came from such a strange
background like
i don’t care like
i’m a professional
fighter i’m not a goddamn kindergarten teacher
one time my dad
threw a jolly
rancher at me and hit me in the eye
god you’re homosexual
in the fact you eat it
no that hurt
you fucking cry
no i didn’t cry
just eat it
while you’re crying it’s stung
look him in the eyes and eat it
while tears
what did you do to get a jolly
rancher to the eyepiece fucking stung
he missed he totally overthrew it and hit
wait he was
throwing it to you
oh god his story is even worse
no there’s no even
abuse in this story
his dad’s got a hard on you
heard stop so
vicious this is
wrist action like
you play softball in college right
you ever see those
chicks that
throw away yes
you ever see the
rubber band
thing that makes them
throw harder
yeah i saw on late
night tv yeah always
who the hell
why are softball players
watching espn how fast
do they throw that underhand
i don’t know probably like 60
miles an hour but the
thing is they
could do it all day
it’s like a
way more natural movement than like a regular
pitcher like a pitcher
that shit blows your shoulder
out because
we are your
shoulder out at all
i don’t know if it’s that
they’re throwing it harder
i think it’s the mechanism
are you saying
that there will be some kid from little league up
who’s been taught
underhead and
think about this
with a big juiced out arm
he could throw that shit
super hard wonder i wonder because it
doesn’t seem like girls can do that shit all day and it
doesn’t blow
their arm out
but i think there’s something
about throwing like that
that’s i think you can get more
velocity no
especially naturally but i can’t no it does
i have like
flexible tendons
and shit like a real flexible
when i throw a fucking baseball
my arm feels like it’s
gonna blow out of its socket
my dad the same thing
he got out of ranger
school he didn’t make it through ranger
school he couldn’t
throw the fucking grenade
right same shit
wow the bad
shoulder and when he talks
about flexible tenons
you could see that shit online if you
watch his fight and
was a super raw all my
fights man all my
fights but he
twist my arm backwards i was like oh my god he’s
gonna break it off and i just
kept it out
and then i and i
and then i got up
and i was like
oh it’s good
and i just went and
bashed the guy with that same hand that he was twisting
it’s the most
ridiculous kimora
defense ever
you ever see it was rolled
how many times did you roll
bad so many i was
like i didn’t even know you can anyway
you can anyway who’s this badass just
two black belt bad
motherfucker yoked
is legendary
when i was like
damn this guy’s a
legend you fought him in hawaii and
when they hated me they’re like telling me to die how
he died oh but dude you know hawaii is a
crazy ass place yeah
by people ever
hawaiians yeah
hawaiians are all just
about love and
aloha and they’re like hippies in
that live in
their own islands
very lions beat the fuck out of each other
they do it they do in movies
no no no there’s
videos in real
life there’s definitely
definitely parts
of people but the hawaiian community as a
whole i think well
people are friendly but that
doesn’t mean
that they don’t
beat the fuck
out of each
other people beating
the crap out of
you know everything
no no no what i’m saying is hawaii
people in hawaii are notorious for wanting to fight
it’s like a part of
their culture
if you go online there’s all
these backyard
fights or hawaiian backyard
fights dude
there’s so many of them there’s
thousands on beach
fights and backyard fights
where dudes meet
after school kids meet
after school
and they just have mma
fights bare
knuckle they just duke it out on the
grass in hawaii
yeah but would you
would you say that if you talk
to most people like how was your trip to hawaii
they brought up i mean you’re
going to the
resort and you know it’s
i’ll tell you a
story about the
first time i fought
super brawl here’s a perfect example okay
the first time i fought
super bro i got cut
above the eye and i was walking around like kiki
and some kid was like
hey man you that guy huh
from super bro huh
and i was like
yeah yeah yeah what’s up dude he’s like
oh bro what’s up oh man i’m
yeah man i’m
tough i’m tough
and i’m like oh
cool bro he’s like sixteen years old fifteen years old
some fat white
taurus is walking down he’s like what bra
what he watch this and he walks over
and bends down like he’s
tying his shoe and he’s
like look at his peripheral vision see this guy walking
he stands up and the guy bumps into
him oh sorry man
this hawaiian kid
starts beating the shit out of them
because you know he’s
young he’s so
young that it’s not really hurting them like
not really hurt the guy but the guys like oh stop
and he’s got a
buddy with them
doesn’t help him at all
the kids starts
in in hawaii
and you call it
false cracking the guy that it’s a sucker punch
he like gets up it’s sucker
punch the guy goes
ah he grabs on his backpack and
starts jump kicking him jump kicking him jump
the guy starts running up he goes
this is my first trip to hawaii
i think oh my god hawaii people are
crazy remember forgetting
sarah marshall
think so the movies forgetting
sarah marshall there was the bartender who was
super cool yeah that was part of the movie i
was talking about
afterwards maybe from the movies
that’s what i was talking
about no but
afterwards the
guy kicks his ass that’s that’s like real life yeah
well i mean why is that i’ve
never heard any of my anyone
ever say go i went to hawaii dude it was fuck fight
you’re talking
about going to hawaii
where you go to resorts yeah people are
the nicest people ever
but i go up to
tijuana i bet you they’ll try to gut me yeah dude
when you talk to bj penn
like bj penn talks
about growing up in a wire
it’s always says there’s nothing to do everybody just
fights i’m just saying if you’re in that road it’s
definitely more
you know in your face than
you like if most people going to the
store in a suburban neighborhood in
hawaii you know or something like that
dude no one’s saying that hawaii people are douchebags
no one saying that there’s a bad time
to live no no
i can explain i
live there too
it’s kind of the
culture that oh wow
you want to
throw down so i
and there’s a
mutual like let’s
fight nobody
shoots each
other right right it’s
like let’s fight
will fight and it will end it out all he kicked his ass
and then you get the coconut wireless
everybody knows about it
he kicked his ass yeah and
that’s you know it’s just the
culture you know
and i think that that’s
where bj pen came out of
bj penn came out of that sort of you know
that kind of competition is what
started his
mma career that he was this bad
motherfucker that
would step to anybody and
fight anybody
he took pride in that
and that’s why he became
an mma champ
when you’re
stuck on a fucking island like
the big island
and they ain’t that much people
and everyone’s just jammed in together on this rock
you know tensions run high oh
man i live there too it’s a strange strange different
place because you you’re on this tiny island
and it’s small
because even though it’s million people whatever
that you whatever circles you run in are tight
knit because everybody knows everybody
right it must be a
lot of bullshit between like dudes and girls oh my god
epic about like
i would imagine because
everybody knows everybody like that dudes fucking her
like when someone
breaks up they break
she goes out with
someone you know
that went to high
school with
that other guy
like so weird
yeah it’s weird that
causes tensions painful
and you lived on the big island or no you live in
a wahoo yeah
it’s like the main
island isn’t it
crazy that though the
smaller it’s not a big island it’s not that big
it’s like the boat i don’t know why
it was the the biggest one that developed
quickest it’s so weird
most of the
times when i got on hawaii i went to the big island
i went to maui
i went to kauai
but when i went to
oh i went to
what’s the other one there’s a little
small one i forget
what you got
lanai lanai
but when i went to honolulu i was like
god damn this is like a city it is
it’s america it’s america on
wheels it’s america america
is paradise though
america it’s the
weirdest city ever it’s like a fucking
blade runner movie
it’s like here you are in this city
with this incredibly
beautiful weather with this amazing ocean
like you are
right there
it’s a city somehow another but it’s not that
polluted yeah
you know the
oceans not that polluted
it is washing off
fucking did
you say kawaii is the best kawai
kawai is like
jurassic park yeah it’s all like
it’s like lost
you know yeah you know like lanai was gorgeous too
lanai is really small
yeah well i imagine
lanai has even
less developed the kwai
could kwai is like yeah
there’s one road
i think goes
everywhere i
only has like 3 000 people that live on our 30 000
or something tiny it’s a
and it’s all like
all throwing down
they did look a little
fucking spaced out when i was asking for directions
there’s fucking
three roads and this
bitch couldn’t tell me how to get to the hotel
it’s just like oh no i think
what street is
that you know what here’s the
thing is that
about that when i
lived in hawaii
bro i can’t tell you what
street to turn on
i could tell you
to get to the waikiki
you gotta go down there’s
a there’s a 7 eleven at the end of this one road
you take a right there
you keep going down it turns to one way
and you take a
right at zippy’s
and then there you’re in ytc
you know it’s not you nobody knows the road names
cause they’re
mala kaliki maka and kana
mahohay like what
like who the
fucking nobody even knows the name of this road how
crazy is it that hawaii is a part of america
but it’s five
hours away on a fucking
plane alaska hey man
alaska’s not as
crazy at least it’s landmass you can
drive to alaska right
but there’s something in the middle of it
he’s like there’s land in the middle of that makes no
sense totally
ridiculous yeah
we got attacked
we got have our ass
covered on all sides and all
for sure but i mean it’s
it’s incredible that we can call that america it’s five
hours away on a fucking
plane and then
guam is like sort of america yeah
pete so is puerto rico
buddy yeah puerto rico
is like sort of a
man like support of
puerto rico is like
considered america though they don’t pay
taxes so they don’t want to be part of america
but are you allowed to be from puerto rico and just
immigrate to america
how’s that work
i think so too right
that’s why there’s so many puerto ricans
you know especially if you go to new york
oh yeah oh for sure don
gavin is this fucking comedian from boston
old school legend he used to have this joke
about he’s just like a real fast talking man
boston guy he’s like i
went to puerto rican that didn’t
didn’t like puerto rico
too many fucking puerto ricans
i don’t even know how they afford
it so expensive
mayhem you’ve been doing
stand up comedy lately
how’s that going
where’s the
great mayhem doing
santa i don’t
know i know you did ari show at the improv
i did already
start you know what
ari’s doing a show
today i’ve been arrested a
bunch of times he didn’t ask me to do the
i fought the law
crash that bad
just crash it
ours probably listening right now no he is
no he’s not
now he’s not he
might be jerk off that guy who doesn’t
come on fell
the flashlight ladies and gentlemen
bringing us back to our final sponsor
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oh my god flashlight com nervous looking at
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too if you go to my website there’s a link you get 15
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that’s dope
that’s the weirdest sponsor
ever i got it’s the best
sponsor come on my show’s fucking nuts this
whole thing is crazy
that’s why i’ve got
crazy people like you on
nobody else
would have got
this kind of an interview out of mayhem miller
we had to put it together that’s not an interview man
i feel like
we’re hanging bro
don’t do that
why did you fuck the no i haven’t fucked
oh that’s awesome
it’s queefing all over the mic feel
it like feel how natural it feels
not doing that it’s so much smells terrible now
it’s just rubber
smells terrible after all the
dirty pussy and asshole we’ve been talking
about see if it’s salty
imagine if your mom walks in the house like that
if they were the tester like tested by number 407
there’s a guy going this is good
this one make my cock feel so yummy
yeah right imagine if some dude did fuck it because he
was going he had to
imagine if you knew what’s
going quality insurance
yeah i mean you can’t have a
faulty face
imagine that job but
that was your job you have to do that all day long if
you’re boners like want oh
good that’s
ridiculous good
oh my god there’s probably a job like that
i’m appalled at this podcast
i think we’ve reached the bottom
yes we have this
is it this is the end of the line
you have a website
right mayhem
miller on twitter
yeah mayhem miller all across the
board mayhem miller
everywhere you don’t use
myspace anymore do you
i feel bad like i like
you know i know that there’s
chicks out there that want to bought me on myspace
i don’t even go
on there i can’t even go on there i got
is when you
see a girl that’s
still on myspace like this is my myspace
the that might be a girl that’s retarded oh sally
lower percentage for sure something’s
wrong with her you’re eli if
you’re not on my
unless unless she’s picking up the
she’s king of the
scraps yeah but you know
she might be there might be like dude
i am the most popular person on myspace yeah
she’s like the new
tela tequila part 3 i’ve got 4 000 friends
four thousand
four thousand active friends a lot of girls
claim four thousand friends yeah by
really yeah i got no bots not
mine yeah who the fuck is left on myspace only people
whose computers i’m gonna go back long
it’s so old they can’t even work facebook our friend
our friend just quit myspace he used
to work there and now i could finally get rid of my
myspace i don’t feel bad because i only held on to it
i think for him
i’ve hoped that myspace is
gonna make a comeback cause i
back in the comedy
store days myspace packed that fucking
place all the time that was responsible for
getting you
know it’s harder to promote
on facebook
no no no the best is twitter
twitter is the best
yeah twitter’s fun dude
i like talking to people i like people send me some
shit and i send it back yeah you know what i’m pissed
off about is your
fans are way
smarter than mine
cause you always get cool shit sent to you and i’m like
what the fuck well i said
cool shit to them too though whenever i find any you
video online
i always tweet
it i always
tweeted so they
tweet shit like that back to me but i find out all
about a lot of
cool articles and cool
science developments and shit i find out a lot of that
stuff by people
on on twitter
you know what i
manage out because of you usually
like i like
that chain of
information we all sharing i know i’m like stoked
every time you come up with
oh cool joe rogan
put an article and i
click and read
it there’s always so much cool shit on the internet man
have you seen the deepak
chopra sam harris
debates oh yeah
i’ve seen someone with them
i forgot the dude’s name and deepak chopra had this
crazy cat lady with him
and they’re debating god and it’s
some brilliant shit man sam
harris is a brilliant brilliant
he wrote that
really good book letters to a christian nation
he’s just like
skeptic atheist
character but a really reasonable
have you seen dawkins versus
i can’t remember
he did a few
where he was like kind of he did one
with geepoch
chopra but i didn’t like his arguments
against deepak and it was very
short the clip that he used online
or in his documentary is very
short it was just mostly mocking deep
rock but then when deep rock talked to him deep
rock was actually pretty reasonable
about what he was saying they were talking about the
states of mind and mood and the ability to help
diseases and
cause diseases like bad
states of mine
which i definitely think i
agree with yeah i
think negative people
like negative energy is manifest itself in stress
stress manifests itself in misfiring so i’ve had
injuries before
where the injury
keeps i don’t even notice cause like
i just got caveman
brain where i get hurt
and i just ignore that part of my body
right i’ll step
on something to have a bloody foot and just keep
ignoring it
until i have to go to hospital you know
and then so i kept doing that but
i didn’t realize
the put stress on your body
and then i got
super sick and i’m like why am i sick
and got a hurt knee
it’s because
you get in this mind
state of being just totally feeling bad and
irritated and hurt
and then your body
breaks down
yeah you need positive energy and a good feeling of
enjoyment of your life appreciation for
everything all that good
stuff makes you feel better makes you
lighter it makes you have to work less hard
makes life less taxing when i’m
going through a lot of bullshit in my life man i’m
tired all the time you know
it’s a lot of energy gets you
used up by that don’t you find that like if you’re in
like a bad personal situation
do you fucking
tired all the time oh totally it’s
depression easily
you know i mean
it’s depression
it’s depression but it’s also energy just
bad feelings
somebody hates you someone’s mad at you yeah
yeah well at the risk of
sound like a hippie
yeah energy that yeah
yeah it’s totally
sound like a hippie the problem is hippies
fucked up a lot of cool shit i know yeah hippies
connected a lot of
bullshit is because
the thought of a hippie
okay because i’ve met
awesome hippies yeah okay
but the thought of a hippie is this
silly week yeah
like just like
the all he does like to lay around in the
fields and smoke
a lot of hippies
in boulder when i was in boulder i got
annoyed with a lot of hippies
this idealistic
stupid point of
view like to
trespass on your property
and go are you denying us access to the woods i’m like
you fucking douchebag this is my yard get out of here i
bought the wood
yeah it’s a big yard but it’s my fucking yard
how about use the woods over there
where it’s just the woods you douche yeah well
this i open the
north trail this is an awesome trail
yeah that’s why i fucking paid
sixteen thousand dollars a
month you shithead you know
smithers mr
smithers yes
release the hounds
no man it’s like you want privacy man
look you got a bull
mastiff tearing
apart hippies in the fucking yard
my bill mastiff
is a nice dog
he’s cool i mean
he lets you know when people there but he’s not like
scary i like the red
bulldogs my pit bulls when i used to have pit bulls
that was like having
monsters that
was like i kept
monsters as pets you know i was running all
right so i was in hawaii on the
north shore
and this dude
house i was going to
apparently he was like a
famous drug dealer or something
i know something like that
and my friends went
ahead of me i forgot my swim
shorts and i got it
and i walked in by myself and across this
giant yard a fucking
giant pit bulls
sprinting at me
and i was like fuck and i was already in the gate like
there’s i couldn’t run out run
about this point i was like fuck
so i got i got like
a fuck what i do what do i do and i was like stay calm
and i wait fuck it how it
like that you barked at him he stopped in his
tracks and barked at me
we were best friends
after that like
we i it was
weird sometimes
they bark at you they just want to get
close to you and
make sure you’re okay yeah and then they’re friendly
and that’s what it was i barked at him
he barked at
me and then
i went here’s pit
bulls are some of the
smartest fucking
coolest dogs as pets but it’s such a pain in the ass
because they just want to
fight other dogs like
they’re always
it’s like hanging out with a
crazy dude trying to be
alpha just get your butthole and let them
smell your finger it works also
oh brian you did it again
how dare you that
doesn’t make
sense yeah it’s like
smelling the ass of a dog
if you let them
smell this so you’re telling me the
asshole you normally
respect whenever you see a
pet dog you figure
blast your own
ass like this
smell this okay cool
what if he decides to attack
and bite your hand it
never happens
they go into
smell well i mean
first of all they’re not
gonna bite yeah it’s crazy
so you’re being honest yes
like actual advice totally totally
try it out you see a pit bull
charging at you
fucking grab your asshole
put a finger in
let it smell it make sure it’s working i
think your theory is
faulty and you need to try it on some
other dogs what do dogs do when they see
other dogs how many dogs have
tried to attack you you
might have got
lucky you’re just used to
smelling all right
i’m just don’t do it don’t
grabbing his
ass in the room
oh he did it
oh he licked it
this fucking show is over
ladies and gentlemen
that’s the end this is the end of the line
dog i can’t even believe
he made a dog
smell his butt
from his own
fingers go wash your hands son you’re
touching the
microphone what
the fuck brian
oh this is so nasty
ladies and gentlemen
thanks for tuning in
right thanks to our buddy
jason mayhem miller
for coming on and
being one of the best fucking guests
you’ve ever
had on the podcast thanks man
god damn outstanding
good stories he’s a real dude you can
catch him on twitter mayhem miller on twitter
mayhem miller com of course
bully beat down
how many seasons
after the third now
going into the
third season
ladies and gentlemen
dvr that shit you know you’re
gonna watch it
and look for him in strike
force in october
against some unknown victim
we’ll see what’s up
jason mayhem miller representing
brian rikkel
for for everybody
thank you very much for
tuning in and
we’ll see you sexy bitches next week love ya