The Joe Rogan Experience #17 - Ari Shaffir, Eddie Bravo

and gentlemen

very sorry for the late start here but

unfortunately i’m the only one that’s here

brian and eddie and ari

have not shown up yet brian’s not showing up because he

he was eating some yogurt

and he bit down on his

spoon and broke his fucking tooth

which is one of the dumbest fucking

things i’ve ever heard in my life

so he’s not gonna be here and

eddie stuck in traffic

because it’s raining

in la and when it rains in la everybody freaks out

and already

stuck in traffic as well

so that’s the

story let me

shut this music

off i got this

the guru from gangstar died yesterday very very sad

one of my favorite rap bands ever

um and dude was like forty three years old makes you

think that’s only a year

older than me that’s crazy shit you know

dying of you know cancer and shit

used to be healthy now he’s dead

and that’s life unfortunately but the good

thing is we still got his music

life carries on and maybe

maybe somewhere cool right now right

who the fuck knows right

ladies and gentlemen

so since i’m starting solo let’s get

started with a bunch of shit that’s going on

first of all this fucking

strike force thing you know

one of the reasons why

the strike force

thing is so fucked up is because they

haven’t really done it that many times

they haven’t done

these big cbs shows that many times and

they made a

bunch of big mistakes and the big brawl that happened

afterwards i mean

first of all everyone was

criticizing mayhem

and everyone

was saying that mayhem fucked up and mayhem

might cause

cbs their deal

all right first of all

mayhem shouldn’t have even been

allowed to get into that octagon if that was the ufc

they have security

at the stairs

they have security at the top

you can’t just walk into the octagon

while the fights are

going on it’s

literally not possible

you can’t have

that many teammates in the octagon as well

when jake shields

after his fight he had like

six or seven of his buddies

in the cage

trainers everybody you can’t have that many people

the ufc does not

allow the ufc

i believe you’re allowed to have three

and they regulate

it all and that’s what you’re supposed to do

as far as mayhem

doing something that was inappropriate

well he definitely did something disrespectful you know

jake shields

is in the middle of the biggest victory of his life

just beats dan

fucking henderson and dominates him for four

rounds after you got fucked up for the

first round so

you know it’s a huge emotional victory for him

and for his

teammates rather you know this is a gigantic

fight and he pulled it off so

you know emotions were running very high

and mayhem stepped

in and bogarted the attention and that’s not cool

but it was a mistake

you know he went in there to try to hype up the

fight the same way they

would do in the

ufc the same way

you know the

famous george st

pierre i’m not impressed with your performance

you know when he went in there when

matt hughes had just won

you know that kind of shit happens

to build up

fights that’s what it’s for

but this wasn’t planned

you know strike

force didn’t know it was

gonna happen

mayhem thought

about it last

minute he just

wanted a you know he was hyped up because he had won

earlier than

night he wanted a rematch with jake shields

so he runs into the octagon

and you know

they start pushing him out of the way

and then chaos

erupts he should have never

been allowed to get into the octagon and if he

was allowed to get in the cage

they should have had it

regulated it

should have been a situation

where when they

would let jake

shields speak

they ask him all the questions are

going to ask him

totally respectfully

he gets his chance

he gets his moment to say what he has to say

thank his teammates then

after all that’s done

then mayhem

comes in if that’s what they want if that’s a

fight they’re

hyping up next

who the fuck knows what

their plans were they

their plans

might not be a mayhem

fight next so it

should have been up to them a

they should have

they should have

regulated the cage

they should

have made sure he didn’t get in there as far as like

what the diaz brothers did and you know and

gilbert melendez

those guys are backing up

their buddy

all right those guys are like brothers you know

those guys they’re all a

bunch of fucking psychos and

savages their

buddy just wins the

strikeforce a bit away title

some pushing goes on

they’re down

to get in there that’s just the way they are and

you know i mean

the diaz brothers

you know people always criticize them but

i think first of all i

think they make shit way more interesting

when you’ve got someone like

nate and nick diaz that

they don’t give a fuck like

they really don’t give a fuck like they’re not just

pretending to

not give a fuck no they really don’t give a fuck

they will fight

in a brawl on cbs

on prime time they don’t give a fuck

they they really

knew what was

going on and they

still stepped in there and did that

you can’t just

have them all together like that

and let anybody

in that you want it’s like i used to have pit bulls

and when you get a

bunch of pit bulls in the room

you can’t get mad at the pit bulls if they

fight each other

that’s just what they do

and these guys are professional

mixed martial arts

fighters and

in mixed martial arts

definitely there’s a

psychological aspect to it that’s a huge component

of of of fighting

and whether or not you win or lose and

these guys have this

psychological edge over their

opponents because they’re so aggressive

because they’re so down to

fight at any moments

notice they don’t give a fuck they’re not afraid

they’re ready to throw down

and because of that that’s a significant advantage

it’s a significant tactic

when it comes to fighting

and they’re not

gonna relinquish

that just because they’re on national

television so

if someone gets in one of

their boys faces and disrespects them

they’re gonna

fight i mean that’s just what’s

gonna happen

so what i blame

is i think mayhem certainly made an

error but you

should have

never been allowed

to get into the position to make that

error it was

completely in my opinion on

strike force

or the the committee

or whoever the fuck is supposed to be

watching that cage

you know i don’t know who’s responsible for that

the ufc takes care of all that shit

i never have to

think about it

but whoever was responsible for that

it was a goddamn disaster so

that’s my opinion

on that and as far

as like the commentary goes and the people were talking

about how bad the commentary is

this is what i

think about that

i like frank shamrock i like frank

frank shamrock as a person

i enjoy him i

think he’s funny

i don’t mind his commentary at all

those other two dudes

it’s like my mom said if you don’t have not anything

nice to say don’t say anything at all so i’m not

gonna say shit

because i think

those guys need work

you know it’s not as easy as it looks and

you got to be a fan of the

sport and i’m not sure that

that main guy’s a fan of the sport

i don’t want to mention his fucking name so

here we are this is the the 420 episode of the podcast

and what we’ll do is

i’ll just ramble

until everybody gets here ari and

eddie should be here within

probably 15

to 20 minutes depending on what the traffic looks like

and when they get here

then we’ll jump off so between now and then i’ll just

take questions

if you see my office here if you notice

things have changed

i got rid of some

shit here move something out

and i’m gonna put a

green screen behind me so

for the next you

stream podcast

hopefully the next one if not the next one the one

after that i’ll be in space

so the way we’re gonna have it set up is

we’re gonna have a podcast and then

i’m gonna have a green screen i’m gonna have

a total space

background and

then i’ll have couches and shit like that so

the idea is that it’ll look like couches flying through

space and so that should be pretty interesting this

whole thing is you know i

started out this podcast sort of just

kind of as a move and

you know i just thought it’d be an interesting thing to

do i’d always wanted to do something like that i always

enjoyed radio

but i kind of

never got off my ass to do it and now i’ve done it

i think this is like the 12th or the 13th week in a row

so we’ve been

real consistent and it’s been a lot of fun and now it’s

number eight on the comedy section of itunes

which is crazy because the

audio part of it was just sort of an

afterthought to

throw that up

and the you

stream one is getting plenty of hits and

it’s been fun

a fun way to supplement you know comedy and

speaking of comedy i got

one gig this friday

night and sacramento but it’s already sold out

i’m gonna be doing a color commentary for

jose aldo versus

uriah faber

the i don’t think

they’re literally not even referring

to it as the wc they’re just referring to it as

aldo versus favor

i’m not exactly sure why that is i

think you know

it’s for you know because it’s

because the preliminary is

gonna be on

spike tv a lot

a lot of corporate shit

so that’s what’s going on um

i got a bunch of shit to talk about

first of all this fucking

volcano over iceland is nuts

if you haven’t noticed that there’s a

my wife had no idea what was going on

because she

doesn’t pay attention to shit except for gossip but

there’s a giant

volcano in iceland that literally is

erupting through

the ice it’s pretty badass if you look at some of the

video footage online if you google it

it’s really pretty intense

you seeing like molten lava

squirting up through the ice is really wild and

the volcanic ash

has gotten so bad that they have canceled

all the air flight

over europe

for days and days

oh our spheres here how’s it going

oh beautiful

sup brother

alright alright why is jelly for this place out i did

have a seat

alright ladies and gentlemen he’s here eddie bravo

should be moments behind i’m sure he’s very close

did you even ring the doorbell no

he didn’t i didn’t even hear it

not so much on rambling

we’re talking about

the iceland volcano

and you know

about all that show yeah no one can fly anywhere yeah

today they just lifted it

but i wouldn’t fucking fly lift it fully

yeah they lifted the air band

over europe but

that’s because it’s costing 200 million dollars a day

how nutty is that it’s supposed to be

good to enroll in

the airline industry

200 murders

of in this country is yeah

i know it’s awfully crazy

200 million dollars a day how about that

how fragile

is this world

and any little

thing can happen and

things close down for a couple days and

these businesses

they run so on the edge

that just a couple days off work and they come

close to being bankrupt

i like that people are like fucking

i heard all

the stories like this volcano now i can’t fly home

or like you know we

could have had all life

wiped out too

but that’s just as likely yeah

people have

no idea what volcanoes are all about

volcanoes have reshaped

this earth like

when you’re in hawaii

you ever gone to hawaii

you ever gone over the volcano in a helicopter

it’s the fucking coolest thing ever

i went to the big island and we took

a trip on a helicopter and we flew over the volcano

and you’re flying over this

active volcano

you’re watching

the lava bubble up inside you can see the fucking lava

you can see it and you can see it roll into the ocean

like we fly over to

where it rolls in the ocean

it’s moving four inches

every year closer to japan and

it’s fucking

crazy and there’s another island

there’s another island in the middle of the

ocean that hasn’t

quite popped up yet

but it’s on its way it’s

going to be the next island in the hawaiian islands

it’s on its way up it’s

building up

that whole area is just one gigantic

as the volcano

stuff comes out

it just dries and it dries

and it becomes

yeah it becomes rock and it

breaks down and it

breaks down and becomes dirt and

plants grow on it

of that kind of dirt yeah

i mean it literally is

that’s what hawaii is it’s a volcano

it just came out

of the ground and you know in created islands

but you can see the fucking volcano

and they have all

these different

photos that you

could buy there and

videos you could

watch there’s a

bunch of towns

that were completely

wiped out on the big island

where they’ll show you

where the town used to be

the lava just came rolling in like the 50s and just

crushed the entire town

i think it happened in the 80s i

went a few times a rock half

up i didn’t see any of that but i’m sure there must be

i mean most of the

stuff just gets smushed

i mean the lava comes down it just

literally annihilates

any evidence whatsoever than anything was there right

and what people don’t

realize is like that shit has happened so many times

you know this

world has changed

so many times just in you know

the last few million years

the best place to find megalodon

skeletons megalodon

teeth you know what a megalodon is

they’re these

giant ancient prehistoric

sharks they were like fucking

gigantic way bigger than

great whites

well the best

place to find

their teeth

is in montana

this i used to be

covered used to be the ocean yeah

how fucking that is

after they hung out

the ocean fucking

crazy montana

used to be underwater

you know so many parts of just

just like ten thousand years ago half of

north america was

under a mile high

sheet of ice

just ten thousand years ago

that’s nothing

that’s nothing ten

thousand years is nothing

ten thousand years ago they were

saber tooth

tigers and woolly mammoths did you know that

just 10 000 years ago

fucking saber

tooth tigers

10 000 years isn’t shit

like there were people around then

what was the 10 000

years before that it was there

we don’t know

10 000 years before that i mean as

far as human


it’s all who the fuck knows i mean we know that

the big extinction was

65 million years ago

that was the one that hit the yucatan the big

meteor that

wiped out supposedly

wiped out everything except

small mammals and you

know anything

bigger than like

a fucking hamster was

a small mammal

skill why were they

they figured

out a way to burrow on

the ground and hardy rats and shit like that you know

rats are some hardy animals

and we’re like

the descendants of anything that survived

65 million years old

tons of rats

yeah well all sorts of mammals

and some birds i mean

dinosaurs are

a direct descendant

of dinosaurs

somehow or another some birds survived but

literally most of the life on the planet was

wiped the fuck out

and then there’s the

super volcanoes man

super volcanoes have been wiping out

things on this continent for

millions and millions of years

every six to

eight hundred thousand years

yellowstone blows up and

literally wipes out the

whole continent

kills everything

and it restarts

again yeah and there’s been

2 000 earthquakes in yellowstone national park

since january this year

let’s hear this

thing on npr

about earthquakes and how they’re

swimming more now

you know yeah is that true there are more

no no exactly the same just happened to hit big cities

really yeah

so there’s the same amount

it’s just they’re hitting

places where people are yeah and if it happens

i mean if you had a

birthmark in

bakerscale you’re

gonna get so much damage

if you get it on the corner of

sunset and fairfax it’s

gonna be you know tremendous

right right

right you know

but it seems like

there’s so many of them they’re having yeah it does

seem like a

lot is that because of the news like there’s

more access to information down

there before i don’t know they were

saying like last year was the year of celebrity death

you know was it

yeah it was it’s

never had before

but it just keeps happening more celebrities just

last year who died last year

jackson that

chick that was hot

was the choice angels

farrah fawce that’s your legacy

that chick that was hot charlie’s

oh yeah did he die last year or this year

billy mays billy mays

south park did that episode

about the year of celebrity

death oh did they

yeah but they were already talking about it

opening i think was talking

about it a bunch it was like all these celebrities are

dying but it’s not it’s just

i think it’s just

tmz makes multiple celebrities

that’s true

you know there’s way more celebrities down there before

yeah do you know gangsta

the rap band gangsta

guru from gangsta just died

you don’t give a fuck dude

i just barely existed

i already knew is

that you never

heard a gangster

there’s some

sing with their songs you don’t sing around

rap one of those stories i’ll play you one

how dare you

sing a ditty from guru what a great christian is

that was nice they were good

jack stars this might be a little too loud

they were one of the best like lyrical bands the 90s

the 90s they were more popular and he died last night

apparently had cancer

and then he had a

heart attack and then just died succumb to the cancer

forty three fucking years old dude

that’s like me

forty two i’m almost probably forty three an artist

dudes are dying of like natural causes

type yeah they’re not even the weirdest thing

not get hit by me here you fucking died

you should just gave us

broken leg all those stuff man

so it’s over son i’ve got

he was not seen in a true romance where he’s like your

nigga your descendants and civilians

not yeah so

it’s christopher walken and then the other guy

the old

you people know who the fuck you’re talking about

the guy from was was he in apocalypse now

remember that movie that was awesome water world

the lead bad guy yes offer thank you very much

jesus christ he’s under a hundred pounds now

wow so if he was a chick he’d be hot

yeah that’s

the prior side of life

is that the weirdest fucking

thing in the world is these women that think that being

super skinny like anorexic is hot

that shit is disgusting

some people like it they must

how could the fuck

could any guy like that that’s so

anti nature

nature you want a woman to have some fat on her ass

you want to have big tits so she can milk the baby

you want to have

fat on her ass so she can survive through the pregnancy

those are all like

these are like

those things

yeah but those

things that

they are good

but that’s why

those things are there the reason

why they’re attractive

yeah the reason why they’re

attractive it’s i mean

why aren’t you just

because that’s too much that’s obese that’s unhealthy

but a little bit

of fat is good like a little fat ass i like a fat ass

what else was on

obese just like

that’s not good because they can’t move around good

you want athletic

but you want some fat on them that’s what it is

it’s all nature it’s all leftover shit

i mean think

about how easy it is to

trick your system how

about fake tits

we know they’re fake we know there’s a bag of plastic

underneath your skin but

still it makes you hot

it looks hotter

they poke out and they look

ridiculous like

that that poor

fucking girl what is her name heidi montag

you know who she is really

yeah you know he

doesn’t pay attention he’s the anti gossip man

but this heidi montag chick

is she’s one of

those celebrities

for just being

a celebrity like you’re not exactly sure why she’s

a celebrity

she just had 10 plastic

surgeries all together

she had her chin done

her tits done she had all this shit so she

look better or worse

some people say she looks better but i didn’t

think she looked bad to

begin with she just

had kind of a big chin like sort of like a jay leno

thing going on

but she was pretty

like you like she didn’t have to do that like it

doesn’t make you look better

it just makes you look different

definitely sluggier

she had big

tits to begin with she had

like big fake

tits and she got giant ones

now they’re like

ridiculous like they look stupid

i like a solid see

solid sees good right

it’s amazing

i don’t even

crazy crazy big

yeah when you see girls who have it’s so funny like la

so fucked up with fake

tits that you see girls got real tits

yeah and they’re kind of like sacking shit

what’s with those what’s wrong with those

meanwhile it’s just like that’s normal let it go

yeah like go look at fucking videos of africa you

you’re not supposed to have

these missile tits that

stick straight out of your chest that’s

just not normal i

think it’ll realize when i go from like a bee to a sea

hang down a little bit

they just look like perky

they just look like they did maybe when

they were 20

it’s amazing though how easy it is to trick us

some plastic surgery is good

do we need more of those people

you know it’s like

you’ve got the right plastic surgery

right you look great

to me more is forty seven years old and she

still looks hot how the fuck is she doing that

i saw that that’s incredible the

model with the book there

yeah i’m sure but it’s like no way not that much

that’s our in person

she was at ufc maybe two years ago

she’s kind of

forty seven forty eight

she’s hot as fuck dude

still no i’m sure the vagina is just dumb

i’m sure it’s just dry as fuck

yeah there’s no more blood coming out of that thing

there’s no more periods

50 when you hit 50 that’s a wrap why on periods

there’s no more periods that means you’re not

ovulating means you’re not really able to have bird

babies anymore

your body shuts the fuck off

you’re just shooting loads into a cemetery

and shooting those into a casket

there’s nothing in there

it’s a total trick

you might as well be fucking a rubber doll

i mean you’re having sex with a person that’s all well

and good but as far as like you

shoot a load inside of her it’s a

total waste of time but at least it’s not yeah

we don’t want

babies i know you don’t want babies i’m not saying that

you do but i’m saying like for nature though it’s like

i mean the only reason why sex feels good is to

trick you into fucking so that you make people let

me tell you what the jewish mystical

about what happened to your

semen that you wasted no

when you pull out or when you masturbate

your semen is said to have


some demon woman

it’s like they’re like appearing

right here she’s fucking you as you masturbate it

so you get her pregnancy

and when you get to heaven

or before you get to heaven it’s purgatory level

you have to face all of your kids and they’re like why

why couldn’t we be born real people

and they’re all like

formed and mangled and you have to answer all of them

oh my god that

might be the

greatest story ever how come i’ve never

heard of it before i don’t know how much kamala

do you study

this so this they

taught you this when you were a

child now the people that don’t know

ari spent a

bunch of years

in his youth as a seriously religious man

like read the torah how many

hours a day

when i was in israel public

i don’t know

ten twelve hours a day

reading the torah

we’re gonna have to fire up the volcano for that son

this is great man you really

oh dude i’m turning this bitch into a real studio

dude i did a solo it took

me like yeah took me like twelve hours

well i did have people help me get rid of the dust

ladies and gentlemen have you ever heard of a volcano

do you know what a volcano is

a volcano is

a vaporizing

device and what

vaporizing is

the big argument about thc

about marijuana in general is that you shouldn’t

smoke because

smoke is bad for your lungs

but you don’t have to smoke it

you can eat it

but eating it is very

tricky because you eat it you get too fucked

up because when you eat it it’s processed by the liver

and it creates something called 11 hydroxy metabolite

which is four times more psychoactive

than thc and it’s really a totally different experience

you know that’s why when people eat

brownies they

freak out that’s why

you know i’m sure a lot of you have seen that video

where that dude

he’s a cop and he calls up

the nine one one

and says that he

thinks he’s

dying because

because he and his

girlfriend ate some pot

brownies and he said time was moving really slow and

he thinks he’s dying

well that’s because oh

eddie bravos here

ladies and gentlemen oh

check out the office

you clean this

motherfucker dude

i got rid of the desk and i’m turning to sing into a

studio we’re live

right now there’s over 2 000 people this is the biggest

crowd we’ve ever had anyway

that’s a vaporizers

and vaporizer

ladies and gentlemen

it blows into this plastic bag and it looks like

like a like a you know

like saran wrap or some shit

and you just get pure thc vapor

and what it does is it heats up the little crystals

on the thc and releases them and it comes out like mist

so there’s no

smoke at all so there’s no argument anymore there’s no

negative health

effects that’s my


i said smoke out of a vapor

so i’m gonna have

two dedicated cameras in here and this

is gonna be a green

screen and we’re gonna be in space

when i set this up within two weeks

this will all be

green behind us and then when we’re

watching it’ll

be like we’re flying to the universe on a couch

it’s gonna be the shit

every episode is a different paris

yeah yeah sometimes

they were in africa

for real so

what we were talking

about we went over volcanoes

we went over i went over

strike force

i don’t know if you got any opinion on

strike force i said the

whole reason why that brawl took place

is because they didn’t

they didn’t

guard the caves they didn’t

do a good job of making sure that nobody got in there

that was well

as soon as i

saw the fight end i was like

i want to go to a spot

the spice done it’s over i

never won well

and watch mayhem went in there and talked when jake

shields was

in the cage and said yo jake when do i get the rematch

gilbert melendez

pushed mayhem out of the way

the diaz brothers jumped mayhem jumped him

man pushed oh jumped him it was a brawl

dude it was

kicking him

when he was down there was like four people on him

eric apple took jake

shields and

got him out of there and pushed him over to the

other side so he can get involved in the bra

i mean it was a fucking

bench clearing brawl

that was pretty awesome there was

a great picture

there’s a great

picture online

where someone

from the audience captured it on the

phone or something

where jake shields and nick diaz are coming

it’s like from behind

jake or behind man

yeah it’s a

great shot that

was that yeah

yeah mayhem is

standing there and nick diaz is like this and jake

shields is like that and gilbert melendez

is on the other side

look man those fucking dudes they have a lot of

unity and i respect that and you know

and everybody’s like oh they’re thugs and they’re this

mad well you

gotta realize man

these dudes are fucking professional cage

fighters alright

they’re in there

scrapping with each

other every day

they’re down to die for each

other the reputation is hugely important they’re not

gonna fucking back down they’re not

gonna have a situation

where they look like a

bitch they’re not gonna

allow someone to

think in them

to anybody who

think that their

buddy got disrespected but they didn’t do anything

about it that’s not

gonna happen

so any sort of a situation like that

where a brawl takes

place i’m playing fucking

strike force man

i blame strike force for

allowing that to get to that position

allowing those fucking dudes to get into the cage

those were all the

comics for our last

thing really yeah

there was some

definitely people

that have who i’m scared of

they asked me to

leave and lit up as far as the

front patio

and el dorado

were scared

so we’re like

just call the cops and get them out of here

but they wouldn’t do it eventually the

fight broke out

and somebody like are you let’s go to the

front i saw the

fight and i’m like

i don’t want to get involved in this i don’t get

stabbed for someone else

that you see already

let’s go fight

looks like everybody like

come on come to the

front defend everybody are

they looking at

you is the enforcer

now because

seriously come on

they’re not

no but there’s gotta be some guys

where i go so how long you been doing

did you choke me out there’s probably one or

two oh shit

you might be the baddest motherfucker in the comments

did you hear what gus johnson said

do you hear what

gus johnson said

somebody no this hasn’t been confirmed

but i’m just gonna say it because i hope it’s true

gus johnson who’s the guy who’s the the

black dude who does the commentary

strike force

made a bunch of errors called like arm bars

come or i saw that i was like yeah this see this

ladies and gentlemen see the fog in that that’s missed

well anyway this reporter called them up and asked him

about it i think

mike russell i believe

was his name

and he said

listen dog i know the difference between our bar comola

kimora i train

he said if you want to come

down and roll with me i’ll show you the difference like

he’s like challenging guys to roll with him like he

trains like

gus johnson on the internet yes

people do with mike russell

no it’s too far away we can pull this

but if we put close to the problem as

there’s three of us here

can’t read it we can’t

read it yeah we don’t have to read it we get just talk

we got to pay attention to

the audience

yeah but you can’t

pay attention to the audience and keep a conversation

going at the same time sometimes

yeah it’s not really harsh in your lungs at all

that’s just like a mist you know be great if like

if the da busted in right now

we’re all legal

we have prescription yeah we’re legal i’m sick

insomnia bitch

so i’m gonna

crank this back up and i’ll fill the bag up

again oh no we go one more time son i

think seriously

though seriously because this is the 420 episode

we should be allowed to have like

order pizza

and like have

food and shit

during the show

it’s four twenty we’re getting high

like snacking on shit

yeah but that

fucks up with the that fucks up the conversation no you

never had a

great conversation and eating

pizza but yeah but people are

watching this

conversation this conversations like a show

but i’m talking

about how i’m hungry

i’m starving

i was gonna go to the

fast food joint but

why don’t you just go walk into my

kitchen and just go scrounge around

we got a show to do son but we need to

order pizza we’ll order

pizza later

we’ll order some pizza later

the idea will be the

pizza comes right before we kill this thing okay

how dare you motherfuckers so well

i was telling us something hilarious

listen to this shit stop

it off we need to be focusing on the show son

i was telling us that there’s

an ancient jewish whatever the fuck it is

jewish mythical thought

there’s a when you wait see

the wait see

uh huh so um

they say when you pull out and you

masturbate you’re

not really masturbating you’re fucking a

demon woman

with nothing just like a

ghost and when you go to heaven

when you go to a

the afterlife you face all your kids that

would have been born in the real life

instead of born this

demon woman well

like like this like why

why did you

pull out we want to be born real little boys

that’s hilarious

i can’t wait to die there’s gonna be all my kids

i thought i didn’t have any kids man

i don’t feel so bad now dude you’ve got a billion

you’ve got a billion monster babies

i think it’s per load

i don’t know

they don’t cut sperm so yeah you’re like fucking one

demon i think so how many demons do you think you got

damn it

i’m gonna have a much more efficient

setup here as well ladies and gentlemen

when we get back

no how many demons

i think on average

six a week five weeks since i was

you shoot six loads a week

sometimes more than one does

in a month you ever feel like a

loser when you get more than one again

no i feel like i’m alive my dick

works that’s what i feel like yeah like yeah

still working for this

i always feel like

if i jerk off

more than once a day that i’m just obsessed

yeah three times a day

is bad that’s bad obviously i’m not horny

you know already jerked off

i know but why why just sit there

like a little monkey at the zoo

yeah no in the wild you fucking

you know you’d be badass

spreading spreading your seed

ready to see you jerking off into a napkin

but if there was vagina then

if there was a vagina

david no one’s ever said no i’d rather just jerk off

and how crazy

is that you’re insist

that someone’s telling

you that masturbation is so bad that you’re fucking

that’s the worst case scenario

you’re having

sex with a demon and making half demon

babies that are

gonna be waiting for you when you die

to scream and yell at you yeah

that is because the institution of marriage

they want that that helps religion

they want people making units and

then breathing

it’s amazing though

like what why do they give a fuck

i don’t know

why do they give a fuck if you masturbate what is it

about masturbation

about no masturbation

you know that somehow or another

equates to them having more control over you well

the more you don’t masturbate the more you want to fuck

right so they can fuck women

and you may

have babies

the results of

babies so the more you masturbate the less babies

right so that’s got to be exactly why

the catholic church

doesn’t want you having

birth control too right

does that make

sense yeah well it’s

definitely way

easier to control

someone when they have kids i feel that myself

i feel like i’m easier to control

now that you have kids when you have kids when you want

everything to be nice

you know you want

everything to be easy

i don’t want any

drama you know

but man the idea of

demon babies you’re fucking a

demon no they came up with the

worst story ever

you’re fucking a

demon and you make babies

that are half

demon and they’re

waiting for you when you die what the fuck man

missed those stuff

it’s like why

stops because you

by the time you figure that

out you’ve already jerked off like a thousand times

like it’s 50 000

demons 50 000

demons i’m fucked either way

might as well

enjoy this life you’re facing an army of demons who

cares there’s

gotta be something you

could do to

cancel out the other

demons to make up for

a good point

there’s got to be is there another

thing you know i didn’t mention

that like what if you let a

great lie had 12

babies you know

with your wife

but masturbated

three times you get to heaven you have

three little

demon babies you’re

still gonna

the whole lives

like tasks you can do on

earth that cancel out your

demon babies

there’s gotta be you

gotta look into

it’s gotta be because

what about people

that are trying to convert into this religion

and like i would but god damn if i do that

the jews don’t give a fuck i already got 75 000

jews yeah those

recruiting religion

ever they don’t give a fuck we try to convince

you not to do it yeah they make it really hard to

do it also the jewish thing yeah

it’s like a regular do this thing

i never heard of this before

you remember

when david was a king the juke so

powerful that they wouldn’t allow any conversions

wow they’re like no one’s doing it for the

right reasons we can’t risk it

that’s deep yeah

and you guys

what do you guys

think of jesus

they think that he was a real person

okay that spoke

about things he

was a sort of

a wise man but they effective went off the deep end

so they looked down on christianity for

choosing jesus as

their savior

and lord yes they

would say that no no that’s not the right

guy to choose

it’s so funny how they’re all sort of kind of connected

like judaism is

sort of kind of connected with christianity

it’s like that’s why the

all the really conservative

fundamentalist christians wanted to control israel

and support israel

they believe in the rapture

and they believe

that you know when the shit goes down that’s the

place to be

like you have

to protect them but they believe that they’re wrong

even though the

bible says that they’re the chosen people

the christians to go yeah but you guys got the

story all fucked up we got it

right and and don’t and don’t

it’d be an awesome

thing for the jews if it came out

the jesus actually never existed

wouldn’t be like dude you guys he never even existed

you know what i mean that would

crush the christian well what

proof do they have that jesus

existed historical

documents well i looked online man and

apparently that’s very much in debate

very much in debate yeah there’s a lot

of scholars that do not believe he was an actual person

there’s a lot muslims

islams believe that jesus

existed but just was a man

the jews believe that

jesus existed and he was mad

and it would

it would benefit

their cost because they

would kill each

other they’d

slice each other

if you weren’t

their religion

i believe that they

would the former rap

the great revised

would talk about who he was

jesus see that’s what

my thing is

that makes me

think that he

even though there isn’t that much

proof that he actually wants to

laugh there’s a lot of holes and i want dvd

the god that

never was all that shit

you how could

how come the jews in the

muslims don’t jump on that

jesus christ

never existed

why don’t they

yeah exactly so that makes me

think damn he probably was a man who was a bad

motherfucker who knows who

knows what it

sounds like but the issue is

if the guy existed

for sure he didn’t walk on

water and come back from the dead yeah

that was like that was like

like someone thinking bruce lee

could really beat up 50 people

you know what i mean like

bruce lee the real god

and bruce lee the superstar

two different fucking people but it’s

hilarious how many people banked their life on some

story that would not make any fucking

sense if you told it today

like if you told that

story today

and said there was a dude who walked on

water and came back from dead everybody

would go just shut the fuck up that’s ridiculous

but because it’s 2 000 years ago everybody’s like whoa

that shit could really happen isn’t that

nuts like anything

like rational people that you talked to that would

there was a guy that we were doing fear factor who

we did a the family fear factor we came to people’s

houses and made him do things

you know we

traveled all across the country this dude was a

teacher he was a fucking math teacher

and he was telling me like


that jesus existed

because you can

prove it because

they’ve looked at molecules

that are too complex to have just

occurred naturally

this is a super that’s a ridiculous argument

here and this is

super super smart guy

and i was listening to him talk you know supposedly

super smart guy

and i was listening to this guy

talking like how nutty is that

but this guy can’t see

that he believes in some

also that’s not the reason you can say anything

existent because something was too amazing to

exist naturally

like millions

and millions

of faces that does not

she sees somebody draw a

picture of jesus

with the captures

of this is jesus

right but you can

never say that nothing can

exist naturally you don’t know the power of nature

nature is absolutely ridiculous

completely unpredictable there’s subatomic particles

that blink in and out of

existence all the time they appear

in two places at once this is science

real shit we know that

exists in nature

the whole pattern of nature is

gigantic the fibonacci

sequence that you see in pine cones

and pineapples and all sorts of different

plants and it exists in

human facial features and

this is like a mathematical code

to all this stuff

it doesn’t mean that there’s a fucking dude

pressing the button

it might mean that the whole

thing is just

super complicated and conscious

what do they do

pressing the button

there’s a god

we want to break it down to someone like us

want to like make a

super version of us

that’s running well yeah you’re talking

about that the old man with the beard in the sky

but jesus on

everything everything

every oh no for sure

of course that

of course of

course of course

no no of course but

it sounded like you were saying

that you were describing

how wonderful the universe is

in the fibonacci

series and how it’s all like this

code and structure

the greatest why

did there have

to be a god doing

that like to me i was like that there is an intelligent

other side that is way too complex for us to

understand it

well it’s what i don’t

think it is i mean it

could be that

everything has an intelligence

about it what i don’t

think it is is

a single entity

i think it’s much more likely that the

whole of course

it’s an interconnected

thing we totally agree

like an ocean

the ocean and then we’re like little

water molecules

the ocean it’s all exactly and that’s what


experiences feel like it feels like you’re in the

ocean sometimes it feels like you’re all connected

all around you to something that you don’t see ordinary

those mushrooms

i never told you

i did them by myself

on a fucking

thursday night i

decided a party by myself

yeah then i took all

those fucking mushrooms i got

pictures and

everything and um

how many the

whole thing

double that wasn’t five grams

no not five

grams it wasn’t five i’ve done five

grams before that was like

three and a half

okay so i did them all myself

and just want to let you know it

was it was pretty fucking insane

it was insane

but not as intense

as it would have been it at five

frames it was pretty intense but the five

grams like dm

five grams really is that threshold point

boom that was

about a year and a half ago when i did the five

grams of fucking

i was at a zoo

and i just woke up in the zoo

i thought doing mushrooms at the zoo

would be fucking awesome

you know what i

mean outdoors you

get mushrooms go out of nature zoo

but that is like anti nature

fuck i freak the fuck out how

to get the fuck out

you were watching their sorrow

oh yeah for sure right we just had to get the fuck out

jesus christ

super negative man i feel terrible when i go

i do not like it at all it makes me feel bad

i used to enjoy it because i used to

enjoy staring at the animals

but then one time i went high

i went one time when i was super baked what i did

what i did when i was super baked

i i got really i felt terrible i got really sad

i thought it was

you know the terrible terrible

thing that they were doing was just

taking these animals and shoving them into

these cages

and they don’t even get to do it and they just pace

you got a polar bear at the la zoo

they’ll just pace back and forth by that back door

just waiting for that fucking back

white door it’s like

fake eyes in a white door

right there by white door

that’s crazy

yeah that’s horrible man

i freak the fuck out

went out to the parking lot and

this chick i was with me we did the exact same thing

and we saw the exact same shit

we looked at the mountain

we would stop in the middle of the parking lot because

everything was connected it was all connected

but look at the sky

it’s like this guy would dance before and like

aztec writing

we look at the mountains in the distance like

miles away like pasadena mountains

and all this like

aztec pattern they’re forming the

aztec pattern isn’t that interesting and i was

like are you seeing when you look at the mountains

what do you see it’s like

the aztec patterns

dance then look at the sky the clouds the clouds are

in their spot for a second and then they form

and i remember

connor tell me because connor is the one who

turned me on to the dude who had him

he said the same

goes dude the

clouds gonna

dance for you

wow i didn’t even pay attention to that really

until it was actually happening

we get in the fucking car you’re like okay cool i

swear to god i was driving on the freeway

freaking out i didn’t

know if there was cars next to me on the side of me

but it really did look like

as i was driving on the freeway like

like i was in

like i was in

what dreams may come remember that shit

i was driving on the freeway

and it was like rose petals and

like bushes

would form in

front of my car i’m driving really rose

petals and bushes whoa

it was fucking insane

that by the way we don’t want

to encourage

i just wanted to get home

no i was just trying to get home

all i wanted

exactly all i wanted to do is get home

get in my little fucking dark room

i just close my eyes and

enjoy that light show

cause that light show was fucking

insane the twirling beauty of

you just can’t even

explain it it’s just fucking

that’s all i want to say

i want to see why do you

think that you see certain like religious

symbolism and like

hindu shit and buddhas

that’s where they got it from

you think that’s

where they got it from

yeah must be right

we’ve been doing mushrooms

since the dawn of time

of course that

when i looked at him like that’s

where all this shit comes from

all that alex gray shit

he’s telling you that’s

where it’s coming from well alex gray

is but these old cut like

like you know

those things that i have in my

office of the garuda

those birds

you know those you know i’m talking

about in the media room

they’re these

crazy psychedelic birds

and when i did dmt ones

i saw those

things i saw

that imagery

and then when i went to a

store and saw them for sale i’m like

oh my god whoever

created that

thing was there

they had to have seen that you

could see that first

well why is that

i don’t know

is that or i mean is it something that’s already there

we just can’t tune into it

until we take


or is it the same

hallucination happens to

every person takes a drug

i think i mean is that possible

i don’t know

i think that

it’s just it opens up your

senses somehow to this

other dimension and all

these dimensions that are all around us

and right like we’re in a radio

and we’re only

tuned in to 97

point one we

got an infinite number of stations we’re just

going to another station

that’s possible to what was that i

think it just fucks with the

brain makes it

make see things

weird possible

i don’t i don’t personally

think i don’t

think that i don’t

think the shit that i’m seeing

i don’t know

what you’re seeing but the shit that i’m seeing

five grams i don’t know if you’ve done five grams

but the shit you

say when you do five

grams is for me

who knows it seems

impossible for me to

dream that up in my

brain like it’s just the most

beautifully constructed flowing

shapes of nothing

random and you know when you’re not high you

close your eyes you see like

random blackness and there’s no pattern this is like

you might see

lit or tight

flashes of light

but when you

close your eyes on mushroom

all of a sudden

there’s a show

that’s about a thousand times

more complex than that visualizer you got on itunes

and that’s pretty fucking cool

visualize pretty cool

it’s in that same

thing but a thousand times more complex

way more complex

and i’m like

i’m not making

i’m not designing this i’m not controlling this

there’s someone

else controlling this someone else is making this shit

not me it seems like that’s

definitely one option but another option

is that that

stuff super charges your perceptions

and just makes your

imagination more hypersensitive and it makes your

visualizations go wild

because it reacts with you know also

the parasite

eyes that you use to see

things this is parasite

it lives in the sewers and it only feeds on cats brains

so what it does is it’s like a worm right

yeah but it lets

rats eat them

and then it burrows

into their brain and the only

thing that changes the rats and

change any behavior at all

except it takes

their way their fear of cats

so they will get

eaten by a cat

everything else is saying they eat

and breathe and do

everything when they

say what’s up

nothing major

cat kills it goes into the

yeah that’s incredible

and that’s his

brains i know it’s totally

fine we talked

about this one on the show the

other one that they do

where there’s a worm that gets inside a grasshopper

it convinces the grasshopper to commit suicide

so that it can

hatch out of its body

it grows into the


and teaches the grasshopper to jump into the

water and kill itself

it’s an aquatic worm

so it has to be hatched in the fucking

water how nutty

are things like that

that’s just crazy

that’s just like

existing on a

whole new level of yeah

like this that

alone right there

is so fucking amazing

it’s so amazing

it’s just another like

you know there’s

something going on dude i just

think something’s

going on i think well there’s

definitely something

going on but i

think our idea that our

culture is based on

is just that we want it to be

close to us

we want it to be like a

super version of us

which is like what a god is

it’s like a

super version of a human

but you know with all

these rules and god is you know

fucking kind of vindictive

and gets pissed at you if you fuck up

and you know a lot of

religions will kill you if you don’t listen to them

you know we want it like a

super virgin

plus but it’s much more possible that this whole

thing is just

connected to something that you can’t stop

you know some big

powerful thing

that feeds off itself

everything in this world

has a role and plays a part in this thing

it’s just we’re used to it

we don’t realize how nutty

it really fucking is because we’re used to it

because it’s just a normal part of our day

and people get used to anything

people in africa have

giant plates they

stick in their lips

and all the girls do it

and they’re used to it we just get used to

stupid shit

and once we’re used to something then

everything becomes fine

and then we

think that there’s some sort of a

grand order to

things you know

it’s really

getting weirder and

weirder as i got

older as i get

older and i look at

our culture and i

look at life on this planet i look at my own mortality

you know the fact that i’m like

you know the next half of my life is

gonna be the half of my life

where my body

doesn’t work good

you know that’s just the way it is just

getting close to dying

you know you’re

gonna have health issues if you don’t

watch your diet you know

you have to make sure you get the proper

sleep or you

might get heart attacks and shit like

things start

going wrong

when you really

start assessing this whole big

picture of what this really is like

god it’s like i

feel like i’ve been flying without a manual for so long

like just operating my life

not really having

any idea how to do it correctly just fucking up

learning from my fuck ups

starting from scratch

i feel like there’s got to be a way better way to

learn life than the way we do it

she’s like by the time you get christian

by the time you can get yourself

your own personality figured out

and your own the way you interact with people

figuring out

by the time you get that figured out it’s like

god you’re already

dying every guy

every guy has an

age they think oh

if i know what i do now and i go back to

that age i get laid so much oh god yeah

you look like you were 30 for like 30 years

yeah let me figure

that shit i knew i

was like 19 i knew right now

maybe better

maybe more advancements in skincare for men

it seems like we’re not

supposed to live long enough to figure this out

it seems like

the reason why turtles live to be 1 000 years old

are people in

life to be 100

is because we’re not supposed to

it would turn

into a thousand years yeah

there’s some tortoises no way

i watch discovery all the fucking time

was that a national geographic

god damn it

that was like today right now

god damn a thousand years old

damn so they

literally lived like back when people were writing

you know like

fucking what was the thousand year old writing they

should put like little black boxes on the time like

write everything out on paper yeah

a thousand years ago they

might have been doing it on animal skins to a lot

you know that’s crazy you know like the dead sea

scrolls that shit was all written on animal skins

those motherfuckers didn’t even know

paper they didn’t even have paper back there

could be a dead sea squirrel on a fucking turtle right

i wish i knew for sure who’s telling the

truth about the dead sea squirrels

because i don’t have enough time to

learn ancient hebrew

or what is it aromantic

and go back and read the dead sea

scrolls and decipher it for myself

but there’s all this dispute on what the dead sea

scrolls actually mean

and some people say that it contains

all kinds of nutty shit like fucking ufos and flying

saucers and

i mean there’s guys who have deciphered from dead sea

scrolls like the john marco

leggo guy says it’s all

about mushrooms he said

all it was about was them eating the ammonium

scaring mushroom

and fertility rituals and he

breaks it all down like

the origins of the words but

people argue

against him and

i don’t know if who’s

right it’s too

common they

should have a fucking live

thing on abc

where they all all

the best scientists on the planet all the best language

they get together

that should be important

let’s disciple

the shit in

front of the world

live satellite feed from fucking friends

the guy who

wrote that book but

he was the one of the head guys

the sidekick and dead sea scrolls

he worked on it

for 14 years and he was the only agnostic in the group

you know they had a

bunch of people that were ordained ministers and

they were the deciphers they were all religious people

and he started out a religious person but when he

started studying theology

he realized somewhere

along the line this is

obviously bullshit

and he just became agnostic

so he looked at the

whole picture

completely different than all the

other guys they all

refuted his findings

but there’s a lot of people that say he’s

right a lot

of people that say that he was the head scholar

he was the number

one dude and he was the guy who had it all right

he was the guy who was looking at it objectively

and everybody else was looking at it with a religious

slam this fucking guy

thinks it was all

about mushrooms

it was all about

psychedelic mushrooms that

they would hide

these mushrooms from the

romans and they

would hide what the

magic and what the mushrooms can do

and the way they hid it from them was in stories

and they didn’t even

write it down for

like a thousand years they just told each other as a

story for a thousand years

so it just became all fucked up

and so he breaks down

like ancient words

he broke down the word christ

brought it back to an ancient

sumerian word that means a mushroom

covered in god semen

because when

they thought it was raining it thought god was coming

on the earth

that’s why things

would come up on the

earth like come wasn’t bad to them

so like when god

would reign

and he was coming on the earth

these mushrooms

would just appear because they didn’t have


they didn’t know what

a spore is they couldn’t see


things so they didn’t see any seed or anything and also

these big mushrooms appear

like the next day

they grow quick

and then they

start eating them and they trip

their fucking

balls out they don’t want anybody else to know

about this so they

tried to hide this information they were told oh they

were keeping it from

their enemies

wow isn’t that nuts god jerk it off

that’s how they

used to look at it or did he pull out of

some goddesses

he came somehow dude you gotta think of this

like daddy you gotta think

if it feels so good to have a baby

right now think about how good it feels to have a baby

right now it’s an amazing incredible feeling

but most babies now they live

they live to be grown ups they go to be

adults they

think you don’t have to worry about them getting

eaten by lions you don’t have to worry about plague

but the people

that live back then have the same love for their kids

as we do now

but they couldn’t help it

so there were

people were

dying left and

right there’s nothing you can do to stop it

that must have been nuts man

that must have been fucking horrifying

to have kids have just

died well that’s

why they had all

these rituals

it was like fertility rituals are so important

they want to have as many kids as possible

they wanted

to tell we’re

in ovulation

roman times 50

lots of people die

after kids god damn

before what

what is the

it’s probably like

adulthood i

guess that’s don’t

make sense like

only half of them make it

to adulthood

oh god it’s so fucked up

imagine what it was

like that was on discovery

so i don’t know the history channel

don’t quote me on that

oh no that makes

sense i remember that look it’s

even if it wasn’t

fifty percent

it had to be a high number i mean they just

you guys can someone

check that mortality rate and

roman times

over that shit

so i think it’s

fifty percent

could be wrong

dude i’ve had two

major surgeries

both my knees reconstructed

both acl’s and one

more minor surgery my menescus surgery on my knee

but if i lived

you know a thousand

years ago i’d be fucked man i’d be fucked you

wouldn’t be doing

jiu jitsu no i

wouldn’t have to

we wouldn’t have been playing

by a small step by a school

do it working you

learn to been a softball champion

softball i smash my knees

there’s guys out there they’re fucking

champions of softball

like they’re the fucking

mark mcguire of softball

there’s guys out there will do this that crazy

who is the hicks and gracie

of softball we need to find that out

hicks and gracie of softball

how accurate can you be when you whip that fucking

thing around they are that looks dope that’s nuts them

chicks yeah it all

i don’t think i’ve ever seen a chick

throw that hard regular

have you ever seen a chick throw that hard regular it’s

clearly the right way to do it

yeah why are they throwing

that’s like

no it’s like it’s like breaking the balls and pool

you know you try to break the balls really hard

if you want like a little person they have like a

loose wrist and just

smash is like a tiny

to it where they just know exactly how to put

their weight into it just hmm

it’s weird like

jujutsu such as certain

things when it comes to techniques

it’s like the more you do techniques

the more those techniques

just become ingrained the way your body moves

your body just gets real good at the movement

so you teach your body move what do you

think of jay

shields control and i fucking incredible

he’s a natural

17 pounder dan henderson’s a

monster he took

first of all

i’m just impressed as fuck that he survived

that first round

that first round he got face

planted he got

ballasted like henderson you have here

on the button no i do i erased it

i raised it

henderson hit him on the button you

erased it yeah i erased it

get it online

we could get it online

we’ll watch that

but uh henderson face plant

face plants

yeah he just have shields

blindly died for a dude

he got cracked and then henderson hits him

again with a hard uppercut dude

and he goes down again he got fucked up in that

first round i was like i always got a chance

but then he came on

strong in the second round and henderson

started to fade a little bit and jake

shield started taking him down

fucking controlling them and they were saying that

that henderson’s been having problems with his back

so you know

he looked kind of

stiff that could have been what’s

going on i could have been why couldn’t

couldn’t stuff the take down but man shields look good

total control

mounted them

just mounted them over and over again

and henderson could not shake them

couldn’t finish them

and never went for one arm walk with that said it’s 420

it is 420 on 420

ridiculous oh my goodness

i am high yeah this is ridiculous

you’re not supposed to do this

i think four twenty is time to order pizza no

wait can me and i want

this is a tv show

no it just takes they don’t give a shit

they do though

there’s people listening this on itunes too

at this point in

time they’re already like are we allowed to eat pizza

i bet no one says no

yeah dude i


you can’t even read son

look i need to get you goddamn more pizza more pizza

pizza for everyone eyeballs fixed

how can you have

an operation get your eyeballs fixed

no no pizza fuck you

fuck you happy three eighty seven hey

how come you haven’t got your eyeballs

are you scared of that

no i’m not scared at all i just haven’t done it

would you want to do it yeah

what about you that part eventually

but like the contacts is just so easy like i don’t

even know their answer i never even got contacts

sometimes i leave my contacts in for like

three or four days and shit i don’t

think you’re supposed to but don’t you want to get him

fixed though would you like to not have the contacts

i yeah tell us we gotta make a plan

this pretty incredible

you can see better

yeah i see fine how naughty is that

means see seeing is so fucking important

you can fix it with a little

piece of plastic

how did they figure that shit

out they figure

out contacts someone figure that out that’s incredible

that’s incredible

house inventions of all i want to see a documentary

all the shit that people change things right now

think about what all the shit that people can do

right now it’s getting so nutty

it’s getting so crazy yeah

what the fuck is gonna be the next big thing

because no one saw the internet coming

you know no one ever thought it was

gonna affect people the way it’s

affecting the human race right now because if they did

they would have never let it get out

no corporations

would have ever wanted the internet it’s too tricky

you know it’s too hard to control

it’s it’s too unpredictable

what the fuck is gonna be the next thing is this isn’t

gonna be the last thing you don’t think that’s it

it’s gotta be like it’s gonna be like hologram laptops

where you’re just gonna need like maybe a little

little block and then it just blows up or something

i think it’s gonna be neural

just thinking it happens i

think it’s gonna be neural implants or

the other idea that i have is

was not a neural implant but that they figure out the

frequency of your brain

like what if they

could get your brain to work like a wi fi signal

like what if your brain

like obviously

input comes into your brain

in the form of hearing things and seeing

things and these electrical impulses wherever the hell

sight and sound is created

and how you represent that stuff in your head

that’s like those are like signals that are coming in

from your eyes from your organs

what if there’s a way to get that signal

out into the air

so instead of like having to be like directly

input into your brain with

just you know with

sight signals and with you know

the signals that your ear is giving what if

there’s a way

to tune the whole mind like a wi fi with some sort of a

neural implant or something that

activates a certain portion of the brain

and literally allows your

brain to tune in to everyone else’s brain

like we all

share a giant hard drive

like that totally seems possible

it seems to me like

they just have to figure out

how that would work and what kind of a

frequency that would operate under but if

they can introduce

all sorts of things in the people’s brains this guy

they did an operation on him

and they stimulated a part of his brain

and he started

i forget what they were trying to do

this was an accident

but in stimulating part of his brain

he started remembering shit from his

childhood like in

graphic detail like it was happening

right there right in front of him

like they literally figured out how to charge

and jump start your memories

you know if they

could do shit like that

they can introduce thoughts to people’s

minds they can read vision they can read vision now

they can like put little

things on your head

and you look at something

and a computer will show an image

of what you’re looking at

that’s incredible it’s the same i mean not good

not a good image they

haven’t figured it out good yet but if you read letters

you’d like see the letter a

really yes but

not like pecan

not yet not yet but dude it’s

close man well then they’ll be able to figure out like

memories exactly

as we might

but how do we

rethink the

world if we realize that

memories are

completely unpredictable

that memories are

so easy to scramble

when you think

about how much of

human history

was just written down and

spoken on memories

lately when i get to argue

about somebody

about something some

waste things happen

and they’re like no that’s not

what happened

you’re like you know what we’re just remembering it

and i have no idea if i’m the one is

wrong or they are

but it’s like

it’s a good way to look at it

and i’d like to say like no no no you’re remembering it

wrong but it’s like why do i

think i’m the one

you gotta be

you gotta be real careful

about that i went back to my town

where i grew up in

i hadn’t been there in like 10 years

and i remembered

everything different man i’ll

never forget that my

house looked different

the fucking

street looked different i thought

the staircase was on a different side of the

street like i had it all fucked up in my head

that’s weird i went to the

place that i love that when i was

three in la

and apartment and my dad got my mom

it was exactly like i

really yeah i was shocked

remembers in a different

way some places changed

they might knock down a

building and change shit around you don’t know

that building was exactly the same

how old you remember

that three i got like

maybe four images

from three that’s cool you

know what i mean but the way the

street looked at you know

the safeway it’s weird

that safeway

i feel like

this time you’re just remembering having remembered

you know so you remember the memory you had a year ago

and then you remember the

memory you had

two for that

you remember your memory of the yeah

i don’t even

think i have

those original old memories

yeah we’re thinking

about and then

one little thing can

throw you off and then it

shifts your idea oh no that’s not what happened

oh wait no no no this happened and then all of a

sudden you see it better

but you were just committed to the way you saw it

10 seconds ago

it was the incorrect way

it’s not fucking reliable enough

it’s what i was

thinking what i was

thinking before about

like the reason why

turtles lived to be a thousand years

and people only

lived to be a hundred

is i don’t think you can

keep our purpose going

and keep us living

because the way society seems to work best

is that people don’t

live long enough to figure out that it’s all bullshit

cause if they do then chaos


everything goes

to a different way

and that’s not the way that

humans are going

right now the way we’re

going is like

some sort of a global domination

thing some sort of a

technological singularity

thing we’re moving further and further and further

if we were able to step back and

as a culture get old enough to realize how

silly that all is

and realize how much better life

would be if we all just

relaxed and shared resources and be nice to each

other and treat the

world as if

we’re friends and work this all out together

but nothing

would ever get done

things get done because people

are competing when people competing people hate the

other people they’re competing against

whether it’s

countries or companies or

political parties or anything so

when that kind of shit happens

that competition is why we make newer and better things

if there was no competition like that there

wouldn’t be the pressure

to be the best at everything

if you didn’t hate the

other people

there wouldn’t be this pressure to dominate them and

crush them that’s part

of progress

can we live in a

world like the amazon indians

in the whole world

well there’s a reason why

those dudes are

still running around with fucking

pieces of animal

flesh covering

their dick is that

right i don’t know if it’s

wrong maybe

that’s right

maybe it is it’s certainly an alternative but i think

i think we have to look at

human nature as being natural

and i think that if we look at

everything else is being natural if we look at the way

wolves behave

and the way

monkeys behave we look at

their simple lives

as being natural why don’t we look at the course of

humanity as being natural

we’re pretending

that it’s something that we all consciously control

but if we do why is it so fucked up still

why is there so much political corruption

when we know there’s so much political corruption

why are we still

going to war when

we know that wars are

ridiculous and that they’re only ways for profit why we

keep continuing

along the same lines even though

rationally we must know at a certain

point in time

this is an insane way to live

well maybe it’s because that’s just the way people live

so that’s what people do i believe

that we’re moving towards

that this behavior

pushes us towards something it pushes us

towards some creation some kind of some global purpose

something some end of

world we’re all in little

worlds thinking

it’s all about us

but meanwhile

you know whatever’s

going on you’re just producing an energy

that needs to

collectively do something

to the world or something

like we got our little lives and it goes to what

ari was saying

about that parasite

like think about that

think about the animal that this parasite lives in

the animal this parasite lives in has no fucking idea

you know they have no idea no idea

not aware of

existence at all and

the rat has no idea

the cat has no idea what it eats the rat i mean the

whole thing is bananas

it’s bananas and it’s all


they said it’s possible to make

those crazy cat ladies too because

a few people aren’t

immune to the fucking parasite

they said there is a

certain person i don’t know why

there is a certain cat parasite

that has infected a tremendous amount of the female

population in like brazil

and a bunch of

other countries and this is

an actual parasite that makes women more docile

yeah probably the same thing it was

no fear i have to look that up because i remember that

yeah but they make some da

sound make some ice for me market that shit

i know right

that’s why women

in brazil i have to find this i have to google this

right now this is

too strange i have to find this out

because i can’t remember what it was when i read it

i’m just parasite

in brazil cats women i gotta find this fucking article

mood altering cat parasites make women friendly

and men into jerks dude that’s brazil

i mean think about how many

how many really

friendly girls come from brazil and how many

super aggressive dudes

that’s hilarious yeah

if you look up what

google what i looked up

you come up with

quite a few articles about it it’s a parasite that

causes rats to sacrifice themselves to cats

may also change human behavior

making women more outgoing and warm

hearted and men

more jealous and suspicious

the toxoplasma

protest is a shed

it’s shed in cat feces

which are then eaten by rats

infected rats become fearless in the presence of cats

which makes them easier to catch

which in turn

spreads the disease to new cats holy shit

it makes women nicer

and it makes men douchebags that’s hilarious

nature is totally rooting against us

they’re finding new ways to keep it fucked up how

crazy is that man how crazy is that because

men who are more douchey are more likely to fuck

a bunch of different women

and impregnate them like fuck their friends women and

you know i’m saying like the more douchey the guy is

the more he’s

gonna do like creepy shit to go get laid

so the more likely it’s gonna make like

accidental babies all over the place

and it’s gonna keep spreading yeah maybe

nature likes douchebags

well it’s like

it goes back to what i said it’s like it’s almost like

you don’t really achieve

unless there’s competition

and competition

doesn’t really mean anything

unless it’s competition

like like primal

you know a man

who hates you you hate him and he hates you

and it really

forces you to work hard

you know that’s why companies fucking hate each other

companies that compete

against each

other are rarely friendly

you know they fucking hate each other

maybe they’re supposed to

maybe that’s the most efficient way to get

things done

you have to

light a fire

under someone’s ass in

order to get the most productivity out of them

hate equals productivity

yeah it’s like

your life would certainly be better off if you

didn’t have that you know that aspect to you but you

wouldn’t be a

successful person

that aspect

to you either so uh

so it’s like a mess fucked up shit like war

you know that’s how it’s supposed to happen

that’s a that’s a terrible conclusion

it’s a terrible conclusion but

it might be that

everything we do is the way we’re supposed to do it

yeah there you have it jealous for war

it’s not that i

wanna do it

but someone’s

gonna do it you know

it’s just the

way they’ve been doing business forever it’s

gonna take way too long for that to settle down

all these people that promise that they’re not

gonna have war anymore

like look at

obama he promised that he was

gonna stop all this

he’s gonna pull people out and

just more in than ever

no i still think remember how

george bush

made fun of her playing golf they said

obama has already played more golf than george bush has

and like i think his

first term in his

first year he’s played

thirty two times i said george

bush played

twenty eight and he called that flag for

twenty eight times

obama’s a very

smart guy very good speaker

that’s really all i i have to say

about in other than that

i’m not seeing anything different

he’s not doing any of the

things he said he would do

you know i don’t know

about the stimulus package i don’t know what’s

gonna really happen with that or whether that’s not

gonna be able to look

into that shit because that’s too fucking complicated

and did you look into healthcare

no they didn’t

even bother nah

fuck it well maybe a little documentary my problem

my problem with all the

stuff is where do i put my attention

how much time do i have in a day what do i want to

think about do i want to concentrate on

oh how are they fucking us

oh you know

where’s this more corruption coming in what is this

do i really want to

focus on that

sometimes focus on the fucking november ballot

with a legalized

pot completely

that would be insane

what’s the latest

about re and

eddie and myself are medical patients we are

yeah we’re all sick i have insomnia

lower back pain i got injured at two surgeries yeah

yeah it’s all real yeah so and and

and it’s a nice calming agent

for you like during the day it’s a perspective enhancer

right i just do it for the insomnia

i say i don’t smoke pot all the time i just smoke

before i have sex

before i do comedy before i

write comedy before i do jiu jitsu before i know i’m

going to eat something delicious

so it’s not all the time

it’s just before cool shit

to make it i almost feel like now whenever i’m like i’m

gonna go get a burrito or something like oh let me

make this better

and then i’ll get the burrito

the first time eddie got me high we went

and got ice cream sundae it was like um

what is this

you went on stage that

night and you were talking about how great that ice

cream sundae was i couldn’t believe it it was the

greatest thing ever we had to write you wrote material

about how good it tasted it was so good

well right and right away the material made more

sense like i could write material

right there

the first time we’re going on

by the way the iron sheik

smoke weed only during his big fights

before all hulk hogan fights

that’s so crazy to notice

that’s what he said he

likes talking about that class

he likes smoking weed

after he trains and after he wrestles

unless it’s a big

match like bob acklin all the hulk hogan

he was always hydrated

he loves weed he knows a lot about weed irish

knows his shit i mean he also

knows a lot of other shit too but

the iron chic

is a pothead

i got i got a fucking

forty five minutes

worth of interview with them i’m

gonna start posting little clips

i got it all where

this what you weren’t there when i tell the story last

night i walked in towards the end of it oh okay

my buddy danny calls me up and goes dude

i’m gonna fucking meet iron

cheek right now how the fuck did that happen because

he’s in town for like the comic con

or what a comic that

whatever whatever like a comic book convention

he goes and i twittered his manager and i

asked his manager if he could

if i gave him 200

bucks if he

could record an answer machine he wanted

to make one like the one joey has for me he loves it

he want an iron

sheet to have

or to do his

so the manager you know they need money

the manager goes come on down

we’re at this hotel

and i go oh

shit he goes you want to roll i go fuck yeah

so he jumped in

went to the hotel

but they were waiting outside and like

danny pull up as fuck

it looks like they’re in a fucking big

hurry cause he was texting him

hurry up where you guys at

we gotta go to the airport as fuck i wanted to give

him 200 bucks

to sit and rap with him and get a lot of shit

you know so

um said fuck it whatever so let’s do it really

quick so he pulls into this

hotel i don’t

shoot like brood and shit

he’s like oh we

gotta go to the airport just make this

quick let’s make this quick

like oh man okay whatever

unless you want to take me to the airport

you know that

we drive into the airport

and we’re like yeah yeah

that way we get him for fucking 40 minutes man

so we got we had in the car

video dude we just

we had this

final of us

you should make

a documentary

dude it’s like

forty five it’s like

forty five minutes of plastic

shit just take the

whole forty five minutes let’s put on

one chunk yeah

definitely got



certain pieces

they need to be cut to make them funnier

yeah yeah because we

we did a lot of

cool because he gets paid he’s like a

like a super villain through it’s like almost 70

and you to say okay say and his manager was his nephew

let’s say he barely

speaks english his english ain’t that great

and like danny knows all these rock stars and he goes

you say west borland say west borland

fuck him and then his manager goes yeah

bring them down set them up

and then take them home it was like these code words

it’s on the video i forget what it is

slam them take them home

and then glaze them at the end or some

weird lindo

so then he goes okay

tommy lee fuck tommy lee

some big boobs

i fuck i am

the shit called couple clutching family

so he was made he would just say all

these things they want to cut them off

and like send

these guys the messages like here’s i heard

it’s always fuck you in the ass

would you look apple clutch fuck your mother

and just disrespect

you would be humble yeah thank you

it’s like he’s got his that’s how he makes his

money i give him some

money i say what do you want me to say

it’s like what is his personality like outside of that

um like a nice guy like

he’s not so he’s not like that all the time

man you gotta see

you gotta see that at the clip

damn he’s teasing i got

it i got it you see

we’ll put it online later

that’s hilarious man

that’s one of

those dudes that would

love to meet when i met hulk hogan i was like holy shit

i’m still here talking to hulk hogan

you know like when i have to do that interview with him

and he’s like brother you know we’re getting

fired up at

tia brother

and i’m like god damn i’m talking a

whole fucking hell

yeah dude iron

chic was probably

all time number one villain ever

think about it

what was bigger than iron chief

he wasn’t really a villain

it was like half of

he was good he was like half villain

path though

sometimes iron

chief was fucking

evil dude he was iranian we’re

going nuclear war type shit

you know that was deep

yeah that wasn’t another

crazier villain

than him he’s on

a cane walk i

got really badly hurt from wrestling

you know i just love to her fucked chester venturas

takes thing take the same robert he

crushes it i want to get dirt for

talking about hulk hogan he’s oh man he’s he’s a he’s

man those guys don’t

have to get operated on

they all have to get operated on

that’s a time of life

so such a tough life

to do that every

night what they’re

doing is nutty shit man flying out of turnbuckles

he shot he talks about that

he just does

oh no

definitely knows this guy who

said things that weren’t very nice but eddie bravo

what do you say

you don’t brush your teeth in the morning

no like he started the interview like they asked them

some guys interviewing them and then this is jujutsu

legend and some guys interviewing him and says

the video starts on the eddie bravo section of twitter

draco lino on the gee

draco lino on world champion

draco lino on training

eddie and then they got the eddie ross

the champion

i guess i mean

i always heard about him i always knew

about him i never knew what he looked like

until i saw the video i never i was never

but especially one of the very highly

regarded yeah one of the best guys

about grace an older guy now probably 40 something

and the video start talking about who

mango what about what do you think of eddie bravo

and then who johnny bravo

who said johnny bravo

no no eddie bravo no johnny bravo oh johnny bravo

like he’s just like

oh yeah you really thought he said johnny bravo

like that’s even funny

you know and then

immediately it starts off with just

a bunch of backhanded compliments like

yeah he’s got some good positions oh yeah but

you know mean already had a high guard like he was like

like basically saying that

nino had my

style of guard first when me and nino

style guards are totally different

they’re nothing they’re nothing they’re

very difficult to offer

i mean we both play

you know we do roma platas and

stuff and i got to build a plata for him but the actual

style of our guards is very different and

obviously he doesn’t know that you know he

doesn’t he hasn’t really paid attention good

enough to know the difference big fucking difference

and then he says other stuff like

that’s just a bunch of backhanded

compliments it wasn’t very but

i thought it was hilarious and so she knew about that

so that she knew about that oh i don’t

know you said a lot of good things about me thanks man


i really can’t say anything bad about the record

you know i mean i don’t even fucking know

well you know what man i think

there’s a lot of people that don’t know you

and you have a polarizing effect

because you’re so controversial because

just i mean

the way you look the way you act you know

your behavior

is very controversial

you think about like

most jiu jitsu people

jiu jitsu instructors they’re not like these wild

musician motherfuckers

you know that come up with

jiu jitsu moves because they’re high on weed

like that fucks up their whole dynamic

their whole view of what you know jiu jitsu is and so

because a lot of dudes don’t know you

i think that’s where

the controversial

comes in but if they got to know you they realize

that you’re just a completely open minded dude

who’s willing to accept techniques from anywhere and

gives people credit all the time and you invent moves

or you teach moves

based on people’s names

like the duda

or different

techniques that you’ve got the jean jacques

suite that you got from

each individual you give them all credit

they just don’t know

they see you getting all this credit for this

revolutionary type of

guard and so they just assume that it’s all bullshit

it’s all overhyped

when really it’s not

it’s not arrived you got

some weird wild shit you put it together in

like a real system

and it’s very legit

and it’s very unusual

and you’re willing to talk to anybody

and have them fuck with it

and come up with their own

stuff i mean look at all the different

things that you’ve

added from your students

all the moves

edwin stuff you

know how you

start incorporating that into class

you know all sorts

of different shit the japanese neck times you’re always

adding whatever there’s a new

thing you’re always adding it and always giving

the person credit

who created it

that’s one thing that’s probably the one thing

that the biggest

misconception the biggest

is that you take credit for

things yeah is that i take moves and i

change the names

then i pretend like i made them up

and i put a

whole new name

like there’s a lot of people out there to

think that and that’s

that’s like kind of true

or like not really sort of 50

it’s totally the opposite

it’s the opposite i give everybody fucking

well like a

twister you know when you

first started doing the

twister and it

started wrestling

yeah that’s a big that was the big

thing because i

never called it the

twister i got it was the

wrestlers guillotine to me but

the guillotine

was already

taken twister

right and jean zhang

it was the guillotine was already

taken in jiu

jitsu and submission

grappling all that shit

so when i would call

the guillotine

the brazilians just called it the

twister and it

stuck after a while

so a lot of people

think like russells go

that did that in high

school man i’m like

yeah you gotta know the

story so real quick

it’s easy to convince

those guys if they ask

about me like what’s up with this

twister thing

you know that’s a guillotine in wrestling

they go yeah yeah he’s got a

bunch of moves like that dude he just

changed his names and then

real quick now i

gotta dig myself out a deep hole with

a lot of people like that that’s like

a total opposite misconception

that i like take moves and

steal em and

it’s not like i did it for a

while and then

i had to stop and slow down and change my life

from day one

my first book i give everyone credit

my first broke

marcelo silverado do that

all that shit

i’ve i get pissed off

when people

learn techniques

from someone else and i know them personally i know

where they got the move from

and then they

start showing it to someone

and they’ll

bring up the person that

taught them

that offends me

i always remember to

bring up names but i

tried to as much as i can you

think of jujutsu moves

as like a creative

thing that you’re adding to like one big gigantic

piece of artwork like the martial art itself like

when you invent a new technique

like you invent some new

sweep or some new way to set up a google plata

and then you add it to the

jiu jitsu language

do you feel like that’s what

it is like it’s almost like you feel like it’s like a

piece of art

so it was something that you create

and people don’t give you credit for creating that and

then people are out there doing it it’s like they’re

stealing your art almost

cause they’re

gonna do it regardless

but he wants them to

do it yeah it’s fun he

wants them to

do it that’s the

thing anybody who’s doing his shit he supports me

i mean like aoki

you’d love that guy out

there doing your shit you’re supporting yeah totally

i mean i’m human

i want you know if someone

learns some

shit directly from me or my books or anything

you know the

right thing to do is give credit

you know that’s the

right thing to do

and not giving credit

is you did you know whoever you

learn a technique from

you gotta give them

you got to if you don’t you’re a douchecraft and that

way it doesn’t take away from what you did at all

people think that somehow another you

teaching a guy you know a certain way to set up a rear

naked and then he does it

and then you

give him credit it takes away from him no it

doesn’t take away

from him not at all not at all it’s just the friendly

thing to do

anytime i get

things to do anytime i pull off a submission

that someone else

in class showed me

i’ll always go up and go dude got it

twice a day you know what i mean yes

do the same

thing it’s like

i do the same thing yeah

yeah that’s important man

it’s important

it fosters that friendly attitude too you

know all i’m trying to do

i mean i guess it feels good it’s like a

piece of art

and something i always feel good when a new

transition comes up out of nowhere or someone else

one of my students

teaches me or we see it on the

internet i get

excited it’s cool it’s

like a little

piece don’t do it have no idea how complex it

is they really have no idea how many levels and

layers there are just

like i was talking to nathan

we were talking

about how he trained

with marcello

and i went down new york in

training a couple of times

and he was just talking

about how good

marcello moves and how

it’s really amazing to see someone operate on that

level and we just

started thinking

about it like how humbling that is

like when you’re around a guy like

marcelo or a

jaguaro or something like that

i watched a video of

jaguarin online rolling through people

just rolling through one dude

after another just submitting a left

right left right left right

when you see someone who’s at that high level

you know it’s like it’s so humbling

because you realize how many goddamn

layers there are to this and

it never ends

it’s more complex and more

the guys who are competing

against are faster

and they’re diving on shit with more precision and

their technique is

more crisp and more

sharp and more options

dude there’s 12

different ways that i can

count there

maybe more 12 different ways to play off your back

that’s what i can count 12

distinctly different

styles like

there’s a difference you can tell

to the train guy

someone could tell

he’s playing deep

half he’s playing

x guard he’s playing

you know lockdown hat

he’s playing 50 50

guard he’s playing

butterfly guard it’s you know he’s playing

rubber guard

there’s all

there’s 12 of them that i

could count there

might be more

adelahiba guard spiral guard all that shit

there’s so many

it’s so complex i mean i’ve been doing jujutsu

16 years and i suck at most of those guards

like i’m not that good at

my mandela heba

guard doesn’t exist

there’s that’s a whole different style spiral

guard inverted guard i never do any of that stuff

i never play 50 50 guard

i never do any of that shit

i have like

four or five guards i have like four or five

guards and there’s like 12

there’s a lot of them that i don’t do

there’s so much like all these world champions like

rafael mendes and cobrina and all these guys

their style is totally different than mine

totally like if we talked four hours seminars each

we’d be two different worlds

you know there’s so much to learn

which path you’re gonna take

you know i mean

i’ve been doing like

again 16 years and i’m still

putting new

weapons into the game that’s

i make sure that there’s always new projects that i’ve

never always always always

got to be a new project

and those projects

could take one two

three years to get them

where you need them to be you know

the darse is

still my project from like

you know five years ago

you know i’m not

as good as the top guys are the darse

are pretty good

i’m not as good as

i still got some more

levels to pop through

but over the last year year and a half

via teens and

north south

i suck with those

but they’ve been on my project list

when i go against the

scrubs when i go

against the

white belts new guys

i’m not going to do anything that i’m good at with them

i’m gonna only get shit that i suck at

and try to train my body

i would get into north

south and i go this feels awkward i don’t know how

danny does it

you know but i

would get in there and try to go as far as i can

and i lose it and i go

do something else like cool i’ll come back to it

then try it

again i’m like

they’re not tapping i’m not really

squeezing right

trying to move my location

focus on it like and

after a while

bam you get into the

oh okay this is feeling good

you know eventually it’ll come

and you have to remember that

people forget that

cause a lot of people when they try something new

they go well it feels

kinda awkward fuck that i’m

gonna go back to my shit i don’t know he’s weird

he’s got some strange butts big

you gotta remember that all moves feel

awkward in the beginning and if you want this move it

doesn’t matter

you can master this move

if you want

it you can be a killer with this move it’s up to you

how many reps you’re willing to put in

you know and in jiu jitsu

you know the only sport where you can spar

100 percent every day

everyone just sparse

they put in

as few reps as possible

most people have that

mentality back

unless you force them and that’s what i do i

force my guys because i know

they’re gonna get lazy and if i say

okay everyone do

15 of this and

20 of that and make sure you do that and i

write it on a

board and let them do it

and i just kick back and

you know chill

they’re not

gonna do it

you gotta have people need

people that’s why they hire trainers

they could do

everything they know all the exercises they know they

could do it

they just need someone to force them

if you have someone to force you

and you’re paying them

then it’s easier to go through that shit you never do

and then you can roll it

afterwards and actually get to try it you know

when someone

doesn’t know for me i just look at

everything most

things is like long term projects like

how many cycles

have you gone through with this technique

and eventually by

third or fourth cycle

once you hit it bad look now he’s doing a new role

look at him

yeah it’s hard to

motivate yourself to push yourself

it is definitely important to have something pushing

rolling is so much more fun

than drills

yeah actually

can you imagine getting on a

video game and

do you ever get on the practice

no you ever like

just practice the little

movements over and over like 50 times like okay this

do people do that

like they get in

a room where they can just practice move

and now they’re getting really good with all the moves

and they do all the techniques

quick players do it

i’ll do that it’s like a workout

they can wake up well

quake is based on a map

it’s based on map

systems so like there’s a

bunch of different

maps you play on but one of the most important

things about playing quake

when you’re in a one on one duel

is to understand the map

you gotta know

where the guns are hidden you

gotta know where the ammo’s hidden and you

gotta control the map

so what you

gotta do is you

gotta make sure you know

every fucking

every minute

area and you can move around so

they practice like special jumps

and rocket jumps they

practice jumping into certain areas and like

so they don’t get to

really far and then crumble

so they’ll practice that shit they practice it so they

have complete command of the

map so they can move around the map anywhere they want

and then they practice timing

when the how is

quake bound

is there a new version

cause you’re playing that

for 10 years

yeah the latest

best version though is quake

iii to me quake

iv is pretty badass

what’s the latest

i think quake

iv is the last

it takes years to make them

you know everyone they did

they came up with a new doom what

every year when

they get better and better i don’t know anything

about video games does does

like the graphics

and the graphics and the amount of area you can

travel to always bigger that’s a they

get bigger and bigger

to have some games they call

a massive was it

mmorgs or something like that

it’s role player games massive

world it’s like an artificial

world role player game

where you can just

travel for miles and meet new people and

people live

their whole lives inside

those things

and they’re actually real people

the people that you meet in there they’re real people

playing the game real people playing the game yeah

they’re great

people have lost

their mind when it comes to

these things i’ve

never heard of that

what does this game call

they starve

these two people in

korea let their baby starve

while they were nourishing

their online baby

they have fake

baby online and they were taking care of that baby

while the real baby starve to

death like they lost

their marbles

that’s crazy

people are living in artificial

worlds 8 10

hours a day and addicted

to it what’s it called this game there’s a bunch

world of warcraft there’s

everquest there’s

what’s the other one

the sims there’s

another one something life’s there’s a

half life no no that’s the that’s the cool

video game there’s a

there’s one how many people are

second life maybe it’s called second life or something

dude there’s thirteen thousand two

hundred and ten people no look no

no look about that’s

april thirteenth twenty ten face as we

count the numbers like what the fuck am i watching

watching three retards

stone out of their mind i talk to a camera

thirteen thousand two hundred and ten

all this shit

is it boring

i don’t know

this is a 420 episode

if they’re all with us they’re all with us

i passed out

on pot yesterday

whoa i’ve been close like two or three times last

month or two

in real life is like oh my god

and then i manage to jump to the bed i think

i woke up on the floor

how much weed you smoke man not that much

dude not that much

and it happened to his

girlfriend i had once

and it was like

she had like one hit it wasn’t anything major

what yeah i saw someone do that

we gave that to this

chick was working on fear factor that was one of the

production people

we’re all in new york we’re outside we all

were out there filming there for the weekend

inside a bar i have a

drink you guys

want someone to join yeah come on it’s fun time girl

i just want to be this chick

i guess she’s

never smoked please

she decided she wanted to join in the fun

she took one big hit of some

train wreck

and her eyes rolled back in her head and she was

dropped i thought she was faking

i thought she was pretending like wow i was caught so

i was like i’m

gonna pass out

i thought she was being

silly like we had a catcher

she was falling down to the ground

the girlfriend

was like that she smiled and

i was like what she doing i don’t understand she

didn’t know she was going down did you catch him nope

an effort to

catch her well i was holding popcorn so you did

so you let the fucking chick drop

so you didn’t

have to drop your popcorn i probably wasn’t

gonna be able to

catch her anyway

wow you didn’t see a chance

no i did not

i didn’t understand what was really happening

but it happened to me yesterday

how long did the date was checked

a few months

so how attached were

you to her right

right i was

still dating

so we bummed out when she walked

down she fell

yeah i didn’t

quite get it

until she was

fully down i was like

it’s just faint

she felt all responsible

someone yeah

well he gave us a pod

oh when does he

zombie land

did you watch this

season of celebrity rehab

no you’re not you

don’t watch it i

watch one episode

because that was a

chick too much

for me that

was you know that chick

from one day at a time

mackenzie phillips

she’s in bed

rooming with this

country this ex country

chick singer

do you have epileptic

seizures and

she she went off like in the middle of this

conversation she was just telling mackenzie like haha

and then she

was on film

she’s freaking freezing because it goes like yeah

are you playing it’s all on video wow because he was

replaying that mother you know that replay shit on

reality shows

oh my god have you guys seen shreds you know

what shreds shreds is a thing

these guys are doing they’re taking music videos

and redoing the music like

i just saw from journey they redo the music

as lip syncing totally as perfect as possible

but the worst voices to

everything’s attitude and everything’s out of key

so you see this it’s like the worst rock band ever

they’re really funny dude really yeah jerk

it’s a journey music video

yeah it looks like they suck really

yeah it’s on something shred

let’s watch it and we’ll

anyway you want it journey it’s fine

they did one on mac dan’s

not mac dan’s

like the singer and

he’s friends with

this guy i know

and he said when he showed it to him to he

got really offended

really yeah

so they’re doing it to journey they’re doing

and journeys like

you know they’re like amazing

musicians and singers

okay i looked up shreds

journey shreds what shreds journey that’s it

any way you want ead

or ed i think it

no no it’s with the

it’s with the

no okay that’s right

sure journey

this it junkie

shreds that’s it that’s it that’s it the top one that’s

junkie shreds no

you guys gonna have to look up junkie shreds i’m

it’s not junkie jerk knee jerk

journey more like journey oh journey

i didn’t get it either

all right here goes let’s see what this

that’s the way you need it anyway you want it

oh god oh man oh every night

all kinds all kinds baby all kind

anyway you want that’s

he said anybody want that we need anyone



oh oh

it’s genius that’s very funny that’s good shit man

i just you guys can watch it i just sent it to twitter

the solo dude this solo is so bad

it’s so cool you can do that so easy

you mean it’s so easy to do

stuff like that now to edit video and put it online

like it’d be nice to be hard to do that

listen to song on earphones record here

sing it right along with them after doing it yeah

a lot of people have already seen it

go look up van halen or or different

that was some funny shit yeah

yeah it was funny i’ll try to read some of these

we might be too high to be doing this should be

probably starving maybe again should be a little re

bad bladder

that was loud yeah sorry about that one

probably didn’t do that the best way

kids shreds

no i heard you were publishing a

scientific paper and neuroscience that’s hilarious

if that wasn’t true i would be carlson seeing it

some dude wrote some shit in arabic

arabic does look cool doesn’t it

look how cool that shit looks what arabic

yeah it’s probably the coolest

thing in writing on the planet

probably cooler than chinese or japanese

that shit it looks like

something elegant to it you know

it’s like cool to see it on your wall

you know it’s like art

so this chick wants to fuck you dude

slurpella she’s back oh shit she says

explain the name slurpella

where’d you get that from who gave it to you

did you dub

yourself 1600 people in here man there’s no way

you have to keep an eye on it to catch her in response

can i get dave chappelle in here sometime i

would love to hang out with dave chappelle

but i don’t know him that well

we did a show a couple times

and one time was just because i was walking down the

street and i ran into him

another time was the fear factor one

the one we ran into him was hilarious

remember that you were with me

now in new york

we were just walking down the

street and i’m

like that looks like dave chappelle with a mustache on

hey joe you

wanna be in my show

was like okay it was out of nowhere

no his show

times square just walking down the street

that was when the dave chappelle show

you know nobody had any idea it was even coming out

and then when it came out like

right away it was like the best show ever

yeah first sketch

i’m sure it was like no no no let’s

leave with that one

knocked it out of the park

that was the best show ever was that the

first sketch ever i

think so i don’t know i know it’s the

first sketch

i know it’s the

first sketch

on the top 25

because i think when he said it i

think i remember going like

lilo’s my friend said i shouldn’t do this

sketch but it almost seemed like he had

introduced a few

other sketches already

maybe the audience

knows the answer to this

that’s a good question

there’s like intelligence the audience here

we could find out anything

about that how

about we couldn’t remember that dude’s name

earlier dennis hopper bam

just knocked up

yeah that’s incredible

yeah i mean there’s

there’s sixteen

hundred sixty six one six six six we’re evil

we’re officially dude

got a lot of viewers

see there’s some dudes writing some other shit

they wrote shiny

happy jihad listen man

don’t be mixing my shit up

with that shit because i don’t know what you’re saying

did you buy the chicken nevada that got sent to

life in prison

because she talked to 14 year old

boy i just wanted to try to get him have sex with her

and she grabbed his hand and put it on her tit

and tried to get her to fuck her

and the man

like she got life

in prison that is the mandatory

sentence for that

life in prison is a man’s voice

the kids 14 years old and she’s like 34 or some shit

and she grabbed the kid’s hand and put it on her tick

and she said she was drunk

and she doesn’t remember any of it

and this bitch is

going to lie

in their way

yeah that’s possible

so what she

doesn’t remember

it she did it all she did was put it together she did

you know obviously the bitch is

crazy and she needs to do like a

night in jail or

maybe a week at the most

you know like

sometimes you

could think

about what it

would be like to

spend one month in prison

that would fucking destroy a lot of your life

and people were like oh

maybe he’s got at

least 10 years like

think about what a

month yeah in prison

would be like

yeah that would be horrifying

terrible terrible

and for just getting a boy to

touch a kid

i mean yeah you

should have done it

but come on you’re supposed to like slap on the wrists

until you get out of there that’s

what happens

so she’s not even eligible for parole

for 10 years

she has to go ten years before she’s

even eligible i’d like to know the details of that case

it’s gotta be some

stuff that’s not she

might be she’s done

this before

you guys you

fucking support that

how dare you

i know but it seems an unbelievable

i can’t it’s hard to believe that people are that

stupid to give

someone life

for that yeah

i mean that’s why it’s an interesting

story when your

favorite in

class got thrown out and like what you do like no

thanks move my chair

two times phrases

like no you didn’t you were moving it over and over and

told you to

stop that’s all well and good but that was the charges

what the charges were

most of it is

lootness minor

she’s been selling kids

for a while

eight probably wasn’t the

first time crazy the

speed breaking

sucks dick on the little kids that

doesn’t stop

well if she did it to this kid she’s probably doing the

other one it’s not like she’s been fucking grown man

just said no just take

yeah big time

it’s not like yeah like all of a

sudden out of nowhere

she says let me just dive in this fourteen year old

think she’s done before

just not particular

about who she blows

you know that’s all that is she’s just a

crazy bitch

but you shouldn’t have to

go to jail for the rest of your fucking life that’s not

you know they’re trying to put kids in jail for sexting

they’re trying to make sexting illegal

for kids girls are shutting

to child porn

they’re saying

child porn good for teens

because you’re a

child pornographer

isn’t that nuts

of course right

dude what are they kids doing it to each other yes

child porn setting to their boyfriends

wanna hear a crisis

tour a bunch of boys

got suspended i

think it was like nine girls got suspended

from this one

school because they had a

bunch of pictures that they took

and put on their myspace page

in between school when they’re not at

school like during

their summer break

so when they came back to school they were suspended

because of sexy pictures of

their myspace page they’re like sucking figures

sticking their ass out and doing

stuff and they’re only like 14

you know they’re just doing normal horror shit

and they got

suspended so the girls are suing the school

they’re gonna win

i mean if it can go on myspace you can’t tell someone

they can’t do something

during their off time because you don’t like it

just because you’re teaching them you know when did

these fucking retards be

watching our students at school

what’s that people accessing it at school

well you could access to that

school if you had access to myspace at school

i don’t know what kind of internet access they have at

school yeah but either way

the kids should be able to put up you

know she wants to be a whore she wants to be a whore

you can’t legislate against that and

you certainly can’t punish them for shit

that’s illegal to do

yeah you’re acting like you’re

their fucking mom

like you’re saying you don’t want them in

school for the

it’s gonna give

other people a bad impression

of your school is that what it is

cause she’s in her underwear online

shut the fuck up

it’s one of these dummies

that are teaching

our kids today and that’s the problem there’s a

bunch of them who are fucking dummies

when did they become the parents when did they become

the moral arbitrators

when did they become the people who dictate

how people were supposed to behave

you know if you don’t have a problem with your kid

sticking her ass

up in the air in myspace

and you’re the

teacher you should be like whatever i’m gonna

teach you some science and you get through life and

enjoy yourself

but what the

teachers supposed to step in and say

you shouldn’t be in your underwear when you’re mad at

school fuck you

who are you

you just teach just teach me

you don’t get to fucking shut my life down

because you don’t like me in my

underwear that’s ridiculous

see ya no i said that

i said it in first person like i was a 14 year old girl

it was a secret fantasy

he didn’t even know it was that

how old are they 14

they were 14 14 15 years old that’s wrong

look man you can’t stop chicks from doing horror

shit they arrested a 15 year old girl for

child pornography because she sent a dude

in her class a picture of her prison

so they arrested her

they eventually

charged her with

use of criminal tools

and a criminal tool was a cell phone

what’s the charger

how nutty is that that’s incredible

that’s all that like what was that alabama

i don’t know

i know tiny little facts is he

yeah brian’s fucked

hi everyone i love you i’m also invited

oh that’s so sweet

poor brian wanna hear how dumb brian is

brian bit into a spoon

he was eating some yogurt

bit down first of all

son you’re not supposed to bite that goddamn hard on

yogurt you know

how hungry was he

he bit down into his

metal spoon he

must have slurp

it there yeah what are you doing biting it

i wanna eat yogurt

only plastic

spoons from now on for you

so he bit down on a

spoon and broke

his tooth that’s

this guy said he’s

gonna put me in a triangle

choke how dare you

are you scared i don’t

wanna tell i don’t like being caught triangles

that’s uncomfortable

i’m scared for you i’m

scared that you’re scared now you really got me scared

i was said he was stoned eating yogurt

he was eating yogurt thinking about yummy dicks

just got outside of the clamp down

i think we talked

about all the things i want to talk about

i talked about the lady in nevada

talked about strike force and mayhem

any other comments

eddie oh mike

whitehead got busted for weed and sexual assault

that sucks that’s not good for the movement mike damn

that sucks was he drunk too

i hope it’s all bullshit i hope he was drunk

jack narrator

didn’t he die a year ago no he had a massive

heart attack you’re going

based on they just thought

really i thought

he was dead the whole time

i didn’t know he was a person they thought he was done

there’s a bunch of people sent like i

think even doug benson

set out an rip

a lot of people were saying he was dead

and so there was a

rumor going around

but it wasn’t his

dad but he was

basically like

barry newell

he was basically the

not actually

well i don’t know the scientific

medical details

but i know that he was in really really bad

shape from the time of that

till now so who was it

so it wasn’t that he was just really

powerful marijuana

activist that

started out his life as like this gold

water republican type guy who was like really anti weed

and then he got divorced

smoking pot with this woman

that he had just met this new woman he

took a chance and he was a single guy

hanging out with some chicken

and really kind of was

blown away by it and then

fell in love with the

effects of marijuana

and then started looking into the history

and then he put out this

really fucking amazing book

called the emperor wears no clothes

and it’s all

about this marijuana

he wrote it in jail

putting him in jail

the reason he went to jail is because

he before he

wrote the book he was already a

like a marijuana

activist for certain

things there’s so many ways you can

fight for marijuana but

i forget exactly what he was

fighting for in the very beginning

he was protesting in

front of a federal building

reagan showed up reagan

told the people the federal building

haven’t handled

yeah the cops come arrest everybody

all they had to do is pay like some

twenty dollar

ticket or something

he refused to pay it

and he went to jail for

a year and two

yeah he went to jail

he was hardcore

he wrote that’s where

it was good for him

that’s where he had the time to

write that for

his own clothes he

voted in jail

that’s amazing yeah

it’s amazing

it’s a good book too it’s really very detailed

if you want to know anything

about the history of propaganda and of

hemp being made illegal

everybody thinks the

reason why marijuana is illegal is because it’s bad for

you i mean if you ask like 100 people 75 of them are

going to tell you it’s bad for you

it’s something it does

brain damage

causes some problems

but that’s not why it’s illegal it’s illegal because

when they figured out a way to process hemp

fibers more effectively they came up with this

thing called


it was a machine

that grinds up the hemp and makes the

fibers easier to process

william randolph

hearst owned

paper companies

and he also owned newspapers and these

paper companies they make

paper out of fucking wood and this hemp

paper was much better it was far superior

and it was a competing product

so he wanted

to make it illegal so what he decided to do was

print newspaper articles

where they said that

blacks and mexicans were raping

white women i knew it

what is this

and the reason why

they said the reason why they were raping

white women is because

they were smoking this due drug called marijuana

so when congress made marijuana illegal

they didn’t even know they’re making the textile

you know the fabric the you know all the

things that hemp can make

they didn’t really even

know they were making that illegal too they had no idea

it’s really

completely ridiculous

the fact that it’s stuck

from the 1930s all the way you can hear

2010 even though we know it’s ridiculous

i mean you can go

right now we can go down the corner

store and buy

jack daniels and

drink ourselves to death easy

if we walked in with there right now

we each bought

a big ass bottle like a gallon jug of jack daniels all

three of us in line

no one would bat an eye

that’s lethal doses

we just bought lethal doses of alcohol

and we could just come here and the

three of us would

drink those

drink that jacked candles

until our body

literally shut the fuck down

that sounds cool

how crazy is it

that people would even bat an eye that marijuana

should or shouldn’t be illegal

of course it

should be legal

if you can go and buy jack daniels that’s ridiculous

ridiculous yeah i’m fucking hungry yeah

you want to end this thing sounds it

5 18 i think we did enough talk about silver

i think we’ve already talked

about silver enough you know

i think they’re

bored enough anderson

silva saying he’s

gonna take all the ufc belts

you know what

maybe anderson silva is

bored at 185

pounds maybe that’s

the reason why his last performance wasn’t up to par

you know who the fuck knows man you don’t know

until you’re inside that dude’s head

you know he’s obviously brilliant

you know and he’s

fighting and he’s probably a very complicated dude

you know but i think

i would like to see him challenged

now chao sun in

fights gonna be very interesting

chao sun is gonna

talk a lot of shit

and he’s gonna attack him

yeah yeah but august

i think it’s gonna be in salt lake city

i don’t know

well chelse signs a real good wrestling

man he beat the fucking

well he beat yushino comedy which was really impressive

cause yushen at the time thought to be like this real

powerful grappler

chelsea and just manhandled them without grapple

the shit out of them kicked his ass

then he beat

nate markport

and i was like oh

that really opened a lot of people’s eyes

and so now he gets this point he

took for a wrestling

really explosive with double leg

take downs and you don’t see that often you

see a lot of greco guys

flying for your leg he does he’s like gsp

with wrestling at 85 that was

a win streak or anything

so he fought

damien maya before that and he got triangles he got

taken down i

think he hit him with a lateral

drop or some sort of a

throw it was really

impressive and damien

mounted them

and then slide the triangle in from

the mountain and pulled them on top of them and tapped

into triangles oh yeah that’s two wins that’s really

sweet yeah those

are two wins that

set but you

know the damien maya thing

look you know

if that guy catches you he catches you

he’s really good at that

chill something’s been caught with

stuff in the past

that would be an interesting

thing if anderson

could submit

him off of his back

that would be fantastic

because you know

chelsun and

at some point

in time if anderson

doesn’t knock him out immediately

chelsun is gonna have anderson on his back

you know unless he catches

them and claws coming in

which is always possible with anderson

so great a sprawling

i have a feeling that

this time this

time chale is gonna take

submission defense in the

guard and pass in the garden

really more seriously i have a feeling you gonna try

yeah i don’t

think he’s gonna come out

cause he gets caught in the guard

cause he likes to

pound in the garden when you

pound in the

guard you can get caught

you know look at the

car in there obedience

he got caught

you know and he’s awesome

he’s awesome with

jiu jitsu but

once chale finally realizes that he needs to get

really good at passing and mountain and taking the back

fuck yeah once he realizes

he needs to adapt

the gsp strategy

once he looks at gsp in a few

fights and says holy shit

i should be doing what gsp is doing

once he makes that decision

chell be unstoppable

that dude’s

got serious cardio too

the reason why he does

great but then you

know he loses he does

great then he loses

it’s because he

he is not taking

guard passing and being safe in the

guard and taking

guard passing

as the number one

priority over ground and pound

in the full

guard you only

should really

pound in the full guard

to open shit up like passing

should be your number one

focus look at gsp

passing is its number one focus

that is the correct attitude well that’s important

what did you think

about what greg jackson said

about gsp well

greg jackson said in the

fight that he didn’t want a gsp to pass his

guarding only took dan hardy down

he said just don’t pass his garbage

route he was

being i don’t

agree with it

i don’t agree with

it ever saying he couldn’t pass his guard

but he wasn’t passing it he was like i

guess we thought he was wasting energy

i just wanted to

go like that beat him up from inside the guard

you know the thing

you guys always say the

tour is good from the half guard

but you can get thrust when

i don’t agree with that strategy

at all ever i would never agree with them but

i can understand it in a way where

i could see that

after gsp passed this guard and mounted them

dan hardy would give this back

then he would post up and then eventually would

shake him up and they would

stand up again that every time so

greg jackson was looking at it was like

if he passes the guards and a mountain

they’re gonna eventually stand up

after he gets his back

up and he gets up

so i think just do it

great jackson just like stay in his guard

he can’t get up from there

he can’t get up from the

guard he can’t get up once he gets his back

you know so just stay in the guard let’s get the w

don’t take a fucking chance with this guy

that’s like the

super conservative strategy

which i understand but

i think gsb was doing fine and i

think he should always go for

the finish he should always go for the past

and you know

he almost had him

twice he almost had a good

one yeah yeah

you don’t want your you don’t want your

partner to get the

orders done you know

john’s donker

they were working on it

afterwards they

were working on tightening what he was doing

wrong the setting of his

kimora telling him to hit it at a different angle

i don’t know i

remember how he did it did he have to leg over the face

that’s pretty damn good i don’t know why

he did that was he in psychiatry

or did he have to leg over the face i don’t remember

with side control but

the camorra looks strong the armbar looks

strong for a couple seconds man armbar was bent

back way back for a couple seconds

dan hardy just

gritted it out rolled his face into the mat turned

and dan only had two scratches on us under his

right eye and he wasn’t hurt his arms were fine

it’s amazing that he went five

rounds of gsp and he barely had a couple nicks on it

you know harvey’s a tough dude

he’s such a

smart guy too

so good at shit talking

so good at those interviews man

i got you know

it’s like it’s such a tricky

thing because in one way that’s like kind of like anti

like what the martial arts is supposed to

stand for talking shit you know but

when dudes do

talk shit they make it so much more interesting

yeah i think they

talk shit back in ancient times like samurais against

the kung fu

dudes and all that shit i

think they talk shit

i can see them talking shit it’s a

tactic you fucks with people’s heads

i’m gonna make you suck my dick

yeah man what it is a tactic you know

fucking with dudes heads it is like a

legitimate technique the problem is that everyone

thinks they’re doing so well

and it like rarely actually kills people off

their games yeah

just seems like

that was woody

sometimes it makes it douchey

two guys are just talking shit to each other

you know sometimes the

you know but when guys are good at it

but it wasn’t like personal

energy going

i’m gonna be honest with you

i really don’t

think i win

but i’m gonna go out and give my all

that’s all i could do what else do you want me to do

would it be awesome if someone went on the internet

and said here’s the deal man

i don’t really have a lot of job options i need some

money and it’s not a lot of

money but fuck it i need to fight

and you know

seeing that

starting it’s gonna be

a song on tv a couple times and i thought you know what

i’m not gonna make some cash with that

my favorite was anderson and one of the times when

they go back and forth they tell you what that guy said

and you say something and they go back and forth

and they said well he’s the

best at fucking

drama school

right but so

they said you know anderson like i said he’s

gonna you know get you down

mount you and

pound you into

submission this is

like that’s a

great tactic

yes i would go

in if that happens right

yeah that’s a

smart way that’s a

smart way of telling it

yeah anderson is pretty good when it comes to

TikTok and how casual and

calm he gets but

apparently he gets very angry

i mean when you saw that

chelsun fight man

or the rather

damian maya

fight he gets real angry

you know damien maya

whatever the fuck damien maya said

really made him bananas in that

second round

i don’t know what the fuck was said or

what but have you ever seen him like that before ever

screaming screaming shit talking like that

what if damian

what would happen if

danny and mae were in a buck’s and

anderson’s silvers

and what if

danny and mae

started doing some fucking

windmill break

this is tough

coming after him

right you know

and then would stop what if he just

started dancing

it would be crazy if i

right in the middle he just started

break dancing

you know that

thing where it’s like

it’s like they don’t

dress it they spin

that would be awesome

girls had to do that

your same here for breakdance

yeah remember you

should do that a little bit and sometimes

earlier fights what

you got really good and you attack someone like that

like you just fucking spun out of myself

like a big propeller

that’s a lot of energy can you imagine that’s a fucking

break that would be badass man i bet the

break dancers would

start making some

noise it was the

sickest fucking baseball

era like this and

fucking switch positions

and make him

break dance

a break dance

card yeah that’s pretty good

what if capo era

got together with

breakdancing and created a new martial art

this is a list

of something

great right


so not me of

those things

just you gonna get fucking boss you can do some kind of

shit and go right to the head spin

when you spin on your head

right yeah and then slide your legs out yeah yeah

it’d be a great way to pass the guard

i think we’re done

yeah that’s probably a good are you guys bored yet yes

ladies and gentlemen

we’re talking about talk about aoki yeah let’s talk

about that real quick while because you’re here

what did you think about the

shiny aoki gilbert melinda

i didn’t let him but scoot very interesting fight

uh you know

gilbert melendez is awesome in the guard

and he did a great job of staying away from any danger

i think maybe once or twice

aoki had an amish control and

smashed it against the cage

that was aoki senez is a bad motherfucker

he’s very good

gilbert has awesome timing his

stand up was wicked

stayed on top of them

you know i mean the only way that strategy was

gonna work for him you know stay

avoiding the guard was if he

could beat him in the stand up exchanges

you know and he definitely did

he beat him in all the stand up exchanges he was not

hard he looked involved he

beat his ass you know

that really could

him now i hope he had the wrists

once in persona that was good yeah

he got the arm trapped a couple times but

just pulled right the fuck out of it

and it was never in any danger at all

so that was a big fight for him

yogi’s just not as good with the fucking with regular

shorts so is jay shields contract demonstrated for us

supposedly yeah which is amazing

if they really let him fight without

a contract saying that if he wins that he’s

still in contract

i don’t know how that stuff works

i didn’t know you could do that i guess you can

if you’re not willing to sign a new contract i

guess you just have to do it

do whatever you want yeah and so

i think he felt like

i think jake

shields was upset because he felt like they were

not respecting him

yeah they didn’t

promote him enough they mostly most of the promotion

that they had was mentioning dan henderson and not him

because he was on his last fight

yeah and they wanted it to be a big deal i mean dan’s

a legend two time

pride champion

in two different way

classes so that was a

big deal for them a big acquisition they thought he was

gonna be the big star

so they were hoping that jake shields

would lose i

guess yeah give him the belt

right away yeah

the other guy off was like an orange i mean his

first fight in the organizations a title fight on cbs

and crazy ass fucking fight to

whoever thought that jake she was be able to take

down him some down that many times just order

pizza and watch it

i gotta go all right

then that’s it ladies and gentlemen

this was the first annual 420 podcast

i think we got some good shit we talked about in there

pretty good

pretty good i don’t think we lost a

train of conversation too much you got the

potato chips

yeah sure i’m

considering the fact that we

we got completely vaporized

like four or five times

it was a really it was not bad

next week i should have

couches in here

and it’ll be all set up and then

the week after that will be can i

swipe my twitter yeah twitter is eddie bravo

twitter at eddie bravo

at eddie bravo ari shafir

joewogan joe rogan net i’m trying to get joe rogan

tenth planet kj com

if you got joe rogan

holla at a nigga

let me know i like to get that from you

alright thanks guys later

have you ever broke one of these bags no

seems so fragile

just firefox is frozen again

this is the

second time

that i’ve shut this off and so everybody can

still hear me right now

it won’t let me log out

close it yeah you know

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