The Joe Rogan Experience #35 - Joey Diaz, Eddie Bravo


smiling next to oprah

drop of that bravo

in the house for jo rogan’s podcast birthday

here we are bitches millionaires

smoking that green dope ryan what are

you doing scratching

fuck it up joe i’m scratching

happy birthday thank you that fucking happy birthday

thank you very much

i love that dude’s voice

that dude’s got some serious sold his

voice i can listen

to the beginning of that song a hundred times in a row

i don’t care how gay it

sounds in a row

fellow blame me

i love that fucking song

i know it’s a

stupid song i don’t care

you know what i mean there’s

some songs you get you embarrassed that you love them

i love that fucking song i don’t give a shit

if you like sublime

you would like

that that’s like a sublime i love the rapper too

i love that

i never got that vibe

especially when i saw him i’m like wow what a

weird looking dude he’s

tattooed all the way up to his neck real

skinny little

happy friendly guy

don’t get me

wrong i would like to be a billionaire as well but

not feeling the

flashlight is

sponsoring this my birthday podcast and all

other podcasts if you

haven’t fucked one you don’t know what you’re missing

joey have you fucked one yet

it’s been so

long it just turned into a straight commercial

it’s like let me get this fucking out

we still talk

about make it

short and sweet

it’s like i’m a representative for the

flashlight i like

that line did you rehearse

it no that was the

first time you

gotta drop a link in

it i probably

said it before but i didn’t rehearse it

yeah we gotta actually make a commercial for it

imagine that

are you lonely

are you sick and

tired of whacking off by yourself looking out

the fucking window waiting for cinderella to come in

no more cocksucker

the flashlight is here pick it up

you too can fuck one of

these things in the ass in the mouth

you can fuck whatever the hell you want just

close your eyes and you’re there open up the

flashlight show them what’s inside

it’s a clean

white little

monkey shaving

the assholes

clean no hemorrhoids

that’s how they do it over at the

flashlight you

stick a dick in there a finger

two fingers

you can practice whatever you wanna do

here we have

happy customers red bad tell them

about the flashlight

smells great

tremendous after you wash it or before you fucking no

after you fuck it i love it

another word for

flashlight coming what you just

weirded everybody out

again you fuck

it smells great

after you fuck it oh

jesus christ

loads smell terrible when you

leave them in your stomach

no you get like a little puddle in the summer and you

leave a load in your

belly button and it smells like dead fish oh

what the fuck

or if you ever

like jerk off and you’re so lazy you don’t even bother

cleaning off your balls

and your balls

smell like fish

that’s happened like two or

three times but my balls didn’t

smell like fish though

i’ll tell you what i do it was

dry and crusty

so it doesn’t matter

how much moisture you’re

generating down

there this is what i do my shit’s like a jungle son

when i whack off i

got the turtleneck so i hold the top of the turtleneck

the come comes in and

swells up like

a fucking balloon you know what i’m saying

i walk to the toilet and just open up the turn

like a little

bit shit spitting it in there you know i’m saying

so it pays to be uncircumcised cock suck

i roll you hold the tip when you’re

ready to come

and the come comes out but it

swells up like a balloon and you just holding

throw it at your

teacher you’re

gonna fucking

throw it at

you know what i’m saying

science bitches

how funny is it that it’s

a common practice to cut your dick when you’re born

that’s the most common

thing right

why are you even

talking about

look i mean

what if pussies came all

trimmed back

what if pussies came all

trimmed back and exposed and because of that they

weren’t as sensitive

and you know

we just got used to the way they looked and they were

trimmed back and exposed

we got mad if girls had lips like ew what do you have

pussy lips for

those are gross i can’t even see the

pussy it’s all

covered in this fucking pussy lip

it’s just a matter of perception

you just get used to it there’s nothing that’s

smart about cutting a kid’s dick

did you get yours cut fuck yeah

i wouldn’t nobody asked

me nobody asked me

would you want it not cut

right now yeah

i think that’s

supposed to be the way it’s supposed to be it’s

very natural it’s not

dirty no you

clean you’re dead

i know fresh

like a motherfucker

yeah but we’re

raised i know we’re probably


but we’re raised to believe

that you got

like like someone that isn’t circumcised has a

dirty dick we’re raised right

you’re right

yeah well i

know it’s not true it’s not true i just have you

programmed that’s all yeah it’s

not more crevices

for mushrooms to hide it’s all

self cleaning just like a

woman’s you just

gotta wash it more

right if i pee outside

and i don’t shake it

because the cops are coming to some shit

and your dick’s gonna

smell but that’s

everybody in this fucking room no see ours is

built so it just has like a gutter it just drips

right off into

your inner leg oh it’s not a

smart move you can’t argue

chopping the foreskin off

that’s just

crazy you do lose

sensitivity though yeah you lose a lot of

sensitivity it’s supposed to feel much

better it’s supposed to feel better i don’t need help

really take it now

i don’t need any more

help coming that sucks

it’s not any less

sensitivity it just

would feel better you can’t

how did you

like that more sensitive

doesn’t necessarily mean you come

quicker just

means it feels better have you ever used to come on

isn’t that what

makes you come condom on a

chick so that you can last longer

no you’ve never done that what

about you brian

is a condom on my flashlight

so you can last longer yeah

as a disclaimer

say right away we are high as fuck

all right so some of this

stuff seems silly

that’s what’s going down i didn’t

smoke a joint for five days

i watched anderson silver fight

stone sober like a priest bitches you understand me

i held that

today because i want to look good for this

thing and i’m going to buddy guy tonight

and bb motherfucking king

daddy so i gotta save that shit

cause i’m getting fucked up tonight you

understand me that anderson silver

fight was insane

what a fight

my heart was

pounding the whole

there’s no way there’s anything in the

world that gives you that much

entertainment that much drama

that there’s nothing like that there’s no movie

that can fuck with that

fight forever

it’s impossible to make a movie

that’s gonna be

as entertaining

that draws you in like that so much emotion so much

anger so much

so much explosion

so much fucking struggle

you know so much

it looks like all hope is lost anderson

silva slaps on the triangle

the fucking crowd goes crazy

just on the kind of pretends not to tap

and hangs in and like what the fuck is

gonna happen here

and they break it up like wow he fucking pulled it off

he pulled it off man he kept

in there for five

rounds getting the fuck beat out of him getting

taken down getting

punched getting beat up

very little

success on the

feet hits him a little bit but then it gets

taken out every time

four fucking rounds

chelsun and did that shit

and he knocked him down and he

knocked him down and people were giving him ten

eight rounds

he got some ten

eight rounds

that’s rare

it’s rare you got a ten

eight round i used to

argue with people at

king of the cage all the time

they were really back in like 2000 2001

they were seriously

thinking about

making a 30

second ground rule

because the groundwork is boring and it’s all

about putting

asses in seats and i’m like what are you talking

about the groundwork is boring

are you kidding me because

someone getting put in a triangle

isn’t as exciting as someone getting

knocked out i go it all depends on the situation

devil gets knocked

out in a prelim

no one gives a fuck that’s

what it gets

knocked out in a


fight it’s different

and i mean it’s all

about the situation that was

anderson silva

losing the fucking

fight losing

every round

getting jacked he’s

he’s invincible

he’s fucking everybody up he was gonna

crush on him

son and does everything

everything right

takes him down stays away from


beats him standing

knocked him down

did everything

right everything was perfect

and anderson

silva out of his ass

throws up a fucking triangle and it

sticks joe rogan

puts the kiss set

on him because joe rogan goes

as soon as the

fifth round

started he goes

it’s a jail son and how’s he gonna

start to celebrate

no i said is it too

early for jail someone to

celebrate i’m like i said

just do the kiss

but then you add some

drama i said

three minutes left you can

never as long as he’s active

anything can happen with that guy

he can knock you out in one

second he can

get up out of nowhere

you charge forward

you get fucking flying kneed in the head

allah carlos newton remember that fight

carlos newton was dominating him on the ground

he got back up to his feet

they restarted him

because he couldn’t do anything on his feet and pride

and he fucking

leapt through the air and slam

carlos newton

in the head with a flying knee and put him away

he’s a beast man

bad mother anderson

silva is a freak

his skin didn’t

even break he got hit 20

000 fucking times the skin didn’t even

break that’s incredible

that’s that

brazilian lizard skin he’s got you know i’m saying

i wanted that but my

grandmother went that different direction

yeah that guys is

tough while

we’re at him

talking about

tough guys because i’ve always liked them i’ve

heard pro and calm

but i’ve always liked them because he came up to me

and talked to me was very nice

and that’s the farm you know and i call him the farmer

matt hughes i love him to death

but after last week i just want to say something

he did the remake of chinese connection

cause he beat the

whole fucking gracie family

of students

all he needs to do is wait

for the russian to come over you know what i’m saying

he beat everybody up he’s

gotta hang him now on the lamp post

henzo the uncle

a fucking the other ones

the voice one was the worst one i mean he’s the

voice one was a

crusher boys enzo

ricardo so in other words eddie you’re off the hook

how sweet was that

movie hit him with he hit him with the that

they called the schultz headlock i guess yeah

i tried that last night

did you see man it’s it’s

that’s instructional

no he put a thing on the

to mix martial arts

calm josh josh barnett is you know

he loves all that catch wrestling stuff he’s a huge

catch wrestling fan

so anytime there’s like a

move like this it’s like that’s a dave schultz headlock

dave schultz and his brother mark schultz

these badass

wrestlers used to fuck people up

they used to get him with like

kimores and shit and do a lot of illegal

things like

they hit a kimora there’s a beautiful

video you ever seen a video of

schult’s hitting that kimura and

flipping the guy over

no it’s a pretty badass but it’s totally illegal in

wrestling and he’s

basically yanking the guy’s

shoulder out of socket and

throwing him over his head

but they would just do


in a real wrestling

match they were

famous for that shit

they would put guys to

sleep with this headlock

and then roll them over on the back

and the referee

didn’t even know the guy was


and then they figured

out what they were doing they stopped him from doing it

yeah these two brothers it was so crazy

did they ever kill anybody like go too far or anything

like that no they didn’t but the

crazy thing is

there’s a um

forget the guy’s name kill

lions or hunter

who is the guy that killed them

there was some guy who is this eccentric

millionaire who used to pay wrestlers

to come and work out with them that’s what

he wanted to do just crazy guy

and he lost his fucking mind and

shot him wow yeah so

the whole thing’s pretty

crazy but they were crazy

yeah yeah yeah

i don’t remember the

exact guy’s name i don’t remember the story and

i don’t feel like

googling it

right now if you

wanna google it

but look up dave schultz murderer dave schultz but

i mean that was

a great card from

beginning to end i didn’t see the prelims but i mean

mark schultz fought in the ufc

way back in the day memory fought

gary goodridge yeah

wasn’t it his brother that died

yeah his brothers only

got shot no

his brother got shot sad

there were monsters

monster wrestlers

wow you clean the olympics

amateur wrestler

yeah yeah does

it say he won the gold in 1984

yeah does it say you murdered him

there was some

crazy dude used to want to just

wrestle dudes

he like hired

these guys to come and

wrestle them

i don’t know if it was some gay

stuff or what

i mean i mean

you know i mean look there’s guys who you know

maybe they won’t know it’s not like john e

dupont from the dupont

dupont yeah

i was gonna tell them

billionaire characters he

sniffed a bunch of paint

i don’t i’m not saying that the

wrestlers are gay but i’m saying

if some guy who’s a gay guy just wants a wrestler

they just how many

how many are you

how many rich gay dudes are there that

fly people in to

teach them some

jiu jitsu privates

i think for a lot

of gay dudes it’s the same game as for a lot of dudes

they’re looking to turn somebody

they’re gonna get somebody’s wife to suck their dick

they’re looking to get some dude who’s not gay

to let him fuck him

you know it’s beautiful feels beautiful

when they’re not gay

yeah they turn so they

want they want to get some guys like that

i don’t think

i don’t think i

could ever be gay too is that the

ultimate you

could be gay

yeah i think that’s the ultimate

mrs rogan has

some gay friends and they love straight guys

they have a

thing for straight guys they want to turn straight guys

and you know there was a guy that was working

in one of the

shows i used to work on he was working behind the

scenes and he was a gay dude

who tell me how many straight guys

would get drunk

and let him suck their dick

wow he said

he goes you’d be fucking surprised

honey you’d be fucking surprised

excel many of

these straight guys

that i met a gay

bar they’re acting straight

that’s what it is

that i met at

a gay bar that we’re acting straight because they

haven’t come out of the

closet yet there’s probably a lot of guys that are

straight you know that hang out in that fuck these guys

think it’s that or do you

think there are some straight guys who are just so

silly that they

might suck a dick once now i don’t think so

i think you’re

gay if you just

wanna if you

wanna suck a dick you’re gay

dudes who don’t have any friends

i think you’re bisexual joke there’s no such

thing as bisexual

state i want

to talk here i

think there’s dudes that are just really fucking dumb

and you can

talk them into blowing you i really do believe that

i told you you

could talk a guy into sucking your dick

there’s some dumb dudes out there dude

there’s some

real real dummies

out there there’s some people out there that will

basically do anything you want them to

you just have to talk enough to him

eventually they’ll suck your dick that’s

hysterical that’s a good reality show though

like get again suck your dick

get the guy that

think he’s gonna suck your dick and

then tell him to fuck himself at the end of the night

like let the guy do the

whole thing like

but you’d have to get

close you’d have to like be kissing

no no let him see how

strong this game is

see if your

jimmy’s that deep you know i’m saying

come get me take me out why me and die me

bitch that’s so that

you get them out so it’s

basically a blue balls game show

fuck yeah that’s

the host comes out and says so what do you

think you gonna little suck your dick

not tonight johnny

i’m going for the

couch in the trip to the bahamas fuck it

i turn i’m taking second place i’m like chill son

i took the silver you know i’m saying

fuck that shit

let him whine you died you buy a few cds

then at the end

they pull you aside what do you think any happened

i just had the night off what the fuck

so the real game would be that the gay guy

doesn’t realize

that if he can

talk a straight guy into it he gets like a boss

who asshole they trim it

they give him a black you know

give him the fucking world a whole

world run trip of santa monica

the whole thing oh my god

he don’t know like you

gotta say i got a straight friend that i think he’s gay

i want you to take him out and just fuck him

oh my god his head will

he’ll grease his hair he’ll shave his balls the

whole thing

he’s going there with the intention of fucking a virgin

we all get hot when we fucked

the first time you fucked a virgin how

happy were you on the way home i don’t

think i’ve ever fucked a virgin

even if it was a horrible experience

i never got a virgin come on

the only time i got a virgin

was when i got divergenized and that was a terrible

story you got any virgins i have many in high

school definitely

is doing the room and i got like ten

i got a girl one time

i stuck my dick in a

divergenize and then i went to eat i didn’t know

and i came up with like a little red fucking

thing on my mind it was disgusting

could you imagine if you had to deal

with the kind of shit that you had to deal with the

drama that you

had to deal with when you were like fourteen fifteen

could you imagine have to go back and do that today

i would do it

you fit right in

you have to change

you have to change your

clothes i already did

you just slide

right into it well i did it you’re peter pan

david fucking

spics gonna get mad at you

oh they would say

right in front of me but the

chick was so hot i didn’t give a fuck

it’s all you want they were sailing

on the way out the door

i would just

knock on the door

and they’d open the door and just walk away from me

oh my then she come out

and then she go fuck you mom or whatever shut up mom

but one night i’m in her

porch fingering the show

like ten minutes

and all of a

sudden i turn around the father was

right there

oh my god he was like red in the face

i just took my hand out of

those pair of

jeans and i just fucking went i

never called her again

nothing i seen her like years

later her brother hated me he was a fireman

but they couldn’t do dick to me

you know what i’m saying

oh my god you ever

get caught boning your your

girlfriends when you’re a

teenager and your parents come home

or her parents come home and you have to jump in the

closet naked

no i didn’t have to jump in the closet

naked but i got busted

i did jumped in the

closet naked it was her

house her dad showed up

her dad showed up

i jumped in the

closet i’m naked

i was so fucking terrified

the condom was just on and shit

and he stayed

stayed for hours

i passed fucking out on

the closet sleep

you were snoring

in the closet

and that’s how they caught you

and there you are

naked with a condom on

condom was like

stuck my legs this lazy


is is in the

closet and he can just go to sleep yeah

he feels so

comfortable in the

closet he’s naked

with a condom on

and he got busted fucking my

daughter and he’s just

sleeping would

you you would

like no face

would be this was

young man this is i was a child that

would be that

that might be the

worst way to meet

your your girlfriend’s dad

if you’re if

he wakes you up

cause you’re snoring

cause you’re

naked in the

closet with a condom oh

you know what i have a friend i have a friend

who just got arrested

because he found his fifteen year old daughter

and her boyfriend having sex in the garage and he

beat the fuck out of the guy oh you told me about that

yeah you do

i know a guy

he’s a friend

hey man it’s

kids are kids are

gonna do what kids are

gonna do man

you know would you

be so you think that you think you

could have sympathy on a guy like that right

his daughter’s getting banged the real

thing the real problem with men and

women is that

a lot of kids grow up in an environment with

their mother and

their father don’t get

along and they’re volatile

and there’s a lot of

fighting and yelling

and so that’s

their model

of what a relationship

should be like

and if you grow up in a

happy household and everybody’s

cool and everybody’s like friendly with each

other and that’s what you associate like

human behavior with

then that’s the type of person you want with your

daughter that’s the type of girl

you want with your son you don’t want no crazy shit

but the problem is

most people aren’t like that

most people are a fucking wreck

so the real problem with some kid coming over

and want to finger bang your

daughter isn’t that your

daughter shouldn’t

enjoy a good finger banging

is that this kid

might be a fucking creep

that’s what you have to

worry about

what people have to

worry about is how

other people are raising their kids

you have to

worry you have to

worry there’s a lot of people out there that are

completely ignoring

their kids so you

think that guy before he beat that kid up

what kind of home if you grow up

in a house full of abuse

fucked up you don’t want some kid growing up in a

house full of

abuse fingering your

daughter’s ass that’s a normal that’s a normal reaction

right sure all of a sudden you

walk in on your daughter

it’s not normal

and it’s not normal

mom if you look

your daughter

wanted to do it

if she wanted to do

and he wanted to do it is

absolutely not right

no no there’s no way no way you have to

listen this is irresponsible

you guys could get pregnant

you have to be wearing

protection you shouldn’t be doing this so young

you know but look

you can’t do it like this and you can’t do it so

stupid where you get caught in the garage

is this consensual is everybody happy

that’s the conversation you have to have

if the girl

you start crying

and screaming

and you say look you know this is a

you know this is an embarrassing

thing you fucked up

learn from this

this fuck you’re

absolutely correct

totally you

can’t beat the

kid up cause that’s you man it’s a kid too you

gotta remember that’s a kid

maybe the guy was big

doesn’t matter so hard

to beat him up

his brains not big

he’s just fucking it’s what you want to do all the

time it’s what everybody wants to do hey it’s natural

let me tell you some guys

when it comes to

daughters and wives

it’s all fucking different

we’re not in that room so

wipe the fucking slate

right now it comes to

daughters and wifes

it’s a whole different animal gentlemen

so relax with that shit you know i’m saying

daughters and

wives it’s a

whole yeah i

understand he’s got

a shotgun but usually

look if what if the guy’s hurting her

if he’s hurting your

daughter that’s one

thing but if your

daughter is liking it

your daughter shouldn’t be able to like sex

no no what were you it’s

ridiculous no

what you’re saying is

right what you’re

saying is right

when the animal instincts take over

i’m talking about

the real animal instincts

those should be

about disrespect okay

check this out

if you were the 15

year old kid about

this if you were the 15 year old kid and you got caught

banging his

daughter and

he walked in

would you be terrified

yes of course

why would you

be terrified

because a movie

because you don’t

know no because of natural instincts yeah it’s

the fuck out of you right

you’re born

thinking that

the whole time from

your i don’t

think it’s a thinking

thing bro i

think that’s an animal thing

i think that’s

what i’m saying

that’s what i’m saying

you’re born

thinking that that’s why when you’re saying is right

that animal

takes over something

that’s why men have such a huge problem with men like

grown men having sex with like 14 13 12 year olds

cause those are like

still like little kids

you know and when

grown men wanna fuck little girls like that

that is one of the most disturbing

things and one of the

things that’s

least acceptable

least you know

least likely to be forgiven

for you might be ruining

my fucking daughter’s life

right here that’s what that is like you just

fuck everything up forever you’re probably

gonna get her pregnant i’m

gonna kill you all the work i’ve done and

now you’re fucking it up and you don’t even love her

probably tricked her

in life situations you’ve

been with her for two years and the father walks in

he likes you

you’re gonna have sex i mean

after six months you figure that they’re having sex

but in the garage

it’s all different guys and that’s why

with daughters and wise men

i wouldn’t beat

the fuck out of the cake because i’d be a hypocrite i

mean people i bump

and eat behind the high school

i remember one time i even dug in the snow

thinking i was

gonna fuck this

chick in the snow

i dug a little

hut behind the fire department

i’m a freak jack

fuck this is low

in the fucking snow the

night before i was fingering a little monkey

and the next day i got like 12 feet of snow that wasn’t

gonna stop mad flavor

when you’re full of testosterone you’re 14

i called that’s the

thing about kids they accelerate

they kick it to the next level

i finger in one day

the next day the

daytime with a

shovel shovel the little

patch we were

partying the

night before

and i thought i was actually

gonna fuck her

i was even happier because i was

gonna have my own

sexual igloo

you know how

papa rolls i’m

gonna have a sex igloo

i’m gonna roll high

beat alaska


i swear to god you

know when testosterone takes over that’s not

the situation and it’s

having a parent

i would beat up a kid

i think i said get the fuck out of my house yeah

well you would

definitely be very

very quick on the draw if he was disrespectful

yeah if he started being a dick to you you

might be a little

hyper aggressive

your natural instincts gonna be

it’s hard to ignore your natural instincts

gonna be to beat the fuck out of them

when i was a kid i

dated a lot of

young girls and that was the only

parent they were german

fucking german people

you know they

were the only ones that were ever rude to me

the only ones the only parents

that were ever that rude to me

really yeah like the only

think about this how

would you react your

daughter’s dating some dude you met him a couple times

he’s totally disrespectfully has no respect for you

you don’t like this

motherfucking dude

you don’t want them to be together

and you hate this

motherfucking kid he’s a dick he’s a dude she

thinks he’s he’s arrogant

and then two weeks

later you catch him banging

you walk in the garage and he’s banging your daughter

you have a stern

you might fuck

him up right no

you just have a

stern talk with him you have to

really you gotta

go look you’re not well

you gotta put him to

sleep well you

gotta stop this no

no if your daughter

likes it i’ve

never gotten

doesn’t hurt

i would never

frightened harm

against a kid

you’re just in the jiu jitsu

so you’re used to choking people out

and then by

the time she

wakes up she’s

dressed and gone

if she’s she’s getting raped

yeah but she’s not getting raped she’s liking it

exactly we did you not

have sex when you were fifteen girls like boys i was

thirteen thirteen

i was thirteen all

right so don’t

in your head go okay i was a fucking

listen i didn’t want to do it

though i got talked into it if you want the girl to be

happy you should want her to like boys

want to be around nice boys and have fun with your body

you know responsibly

that’s what you

should be doing

you shouldn’t be beating the fuck out of some kid

that’s banging your

daughter that’s

crazy yeah i

could have easily but you just have to talk to

him you gotta

stern talk to him

good look this is the last time you’re allowed here

i don’t care

what you guys do out of my

house but you can’t be here if you hate him that bad

you have to do something you don’t just fucking

start choking the guy out the next

thing that dude

calls the police

and now you’re in jail

i think joe

i think joe put

a guillotine on joe’s got a really good guillotine

put the fucker out

and three seconds

yell at his

daughter for

a little bit by the time he wakes up he’ll be dressed

you drag him out to wake up in the fucking front yard

with his pants on backwards

that’s what i

think joe’s

gonna do best

case scenario is you find some kid who likes your

daughter and you like him

and he’s like

a cool guy and you become like friends with him

that’s the best case scenario

you know some dude

who’s dating your

daughter who

you actually like when he comes over

you know like he’s your friend now he’s dating your

daughter but you like this

guy yeah you could

you could fuck her so like this

she’s gonna want you to fuck her she’s a condom she’s

gonna want you to can you imagine dude hooks it up

dude hooks it up

tries to convince the daughter

no that’s up the date

pays for the hotel

pays for the hotel

the guy i’m telling you

that’s the easiest way to turn your

daughter into a

lesbian ever

could you imagine

they would just go straight les bow

that’s what they

would do that’s probably how

lesbians are created

when it’s not

natural that’s probably how you create them

you get the

father to get you to try to fuck his friends

that’s probably how you

get formula

that’s the best way to to have a

woman completely distrust men for the rest of her life

just get get your daughter to fuck your friends

get your daughter

fuck your friends

right she’s just gonna try to rebel

how she gonna rebel she’s gonna go lesbo

that’s the only move

if you got a

checkmate father

in law that pretty fucking cool i had a

great father in law

he’s the one that bailed me out of jail the

first time we were like shaky

when i got in trouble

then all of a

sudden he was there for me it was a

weird relationship because he had boys

but he was kind of

upset how his boys had turned out

they turn into pussies

right now they will that he wanted

them to be very educated they didn’t want to do that so

he was kind of

upset with them in a way he

doesn’t understand you know that

i think you told me this

yeah yeah yeah he was very

upset with them and they were

successful rufus out

of his roofing company

you know to read different

states but he just wasn’t into that stuff it’s

always gonna be

weird when someone’s fucking your baby

you know all my relationships in high school

when i was dating a girl

you know soon as the parents knew we were born and

it was always creepy you’d be around them like you’re

stealing food from them

you know it’s like it just feels

weird i had my

parents walking my dad walking and my stepmom walking

while i was having sex when i was like seventeen

and the stepmom got pissed but the dad was like

that’s pretty cool you know

yeah my mom used to like fucking

try to set ground rules and shit like she couldn’t

she couldn’t come over my

house and be in my bedroom with the door closed

i’m like all right mom

get the fuck out of here alright

this other girl i dated

this other girl i

dated her parents let me

spend the night when i was 16

sleep in bed

they would wake up the next morning go

time to wake up

school bus or whatever time to wake up to go to school

and i just remember looking up and seeing her dad and i

never thought it was

crazy and my parents knew i

would stay the

night but now i look back at him like that’s fucking

weird the only time that happened to me

i was twenty one she was

seventeen was my

girlfriend for

about three years she

was seventeen

yeah i know what you mean eighteen

right no but we didn’t have sex at

seventeen when she was

seventeen when she turned eighteen

that’s when the sex started

it was just like a

month later

is that under like clinton


that quinn we were just pen pals before you know

i didn’t even

i didn’t even

think about that

i didn’t even

think about 21 she’s 17 that didn’t even

it didn’t even

enter my mind at all

and her parents were totally cool with it

their parents let me

spend the night

they were totally cool

unless you’re in iowa

where you’re now allowed to be 16

to be a stripper

but the only law is you have to come home before 11 p m

oh thank god

that’s incredible what

state iowa and i

think also rhode island is that what i said last time

i think you said

rhode island high school

the two to ten fifteen

shift it’s the

you got a hold on

push that law through

someone fucking

like 16 year old i want to see the process of that

reality show on

the birth of that fucking that’s gotta be a fucking

for some people and i can’t give you

it’s willie

d from the ghetto boys he pushed it to the yeah oh boy

you gotta let a hoe be a hoe hey

i never found out over that yeah you remember that shit

the one cover where his eyeballs falling out

was that real or fake

that was real

that was a real shot himself i

heard it was real but i don’t know if that was fake

or real dude that guy was off the deep end

crazy there’d

never been a guy like bushwick bill that was

crazy pitcher man

so a midget

star rapper

with one eye who

shot himself who was fucked up on all kinds of drugs

and still was a

giant star wow

what kind of

pussy do you

think that guy got he must

have got mad

push wick bill

is probably

the michael jordan of

black midgets

you know what i mean he’s like the most famous

the only other guy is vern troyer

that guy i’m sure

midgets around the world have posters of ern

troyer and fucking the

street midgets

for sure bushwick bill is the number one dude in

their soul that’s the bruce lee hey dude

fine fine fuck a war wait wait by the ghetto

boys no this is the best ghetto boy

song hold on no no no fuck a war find that please

fine fuck a war

but this is it shows you bush with bill

could fucking flow to though

you know he had a weird way of talking

you know it’ll you know but his

the boys were

good he was fucking talented

i don’t know what he was mad but he was talented

he rose or fun midgetry

he’s fucking transcended all that shit

every he got hose

everybody respected

him as a rapper he was a fucking rock star midges

this is a great song


what is this listen listen listen

i couldn’t be no shit talking president

that’s a good fucking song let me play once a good rap

yeah that’s a great song fortunately for him

he doesn’t have to be all that fucking mad they’ll

never draft a midget

like he was all pissed off like they were

gonna pick him like he was gonna be on the

front line leading the charge

like you really felt that angry

i liked that fucking song he was safe

as fuck this is my favorite song

yeah but that scarface

that whole song was bushwick bill

this is scarface

this is ghetto boys

right that’s scarface

scarface is the other singer in the ghetto

was like three it’s a different guy

uh different

guy singing yeah but that was my favorite ghetto

ghetto boy song yeah

it’s a different ghetto boy though

bushwick bills

his best song is

um like fuck a war

that’s his best one

man that’s the best one that’s all bushwick all flow

that’s a good fucking song

and it’s fucking right

and then there’s that

little we man

yeah that’s the

modern day jackass

yeah skater

midget and there’s a dude the comedian

that a little kiss

what is the dude’s name

little kiss and

steal his friends

what was his

what is his name

i’m on the spot right now though

do you know his name

brad brad brad brad

he’s a midget yeah

was gary coleman

considered a midget is he funny people say

these nice kitties

nice kitties really gary coleman

wasn’t considered a midget oh yeah oh no

no but his head was small

he was different

he was like a little person you know what i’m talking

about gary coleman

he wasn’t like a real midget with a big summer

dwarf summer midget

you know it would be awesome if they remade

the stories

of gary coleman

but they used webster to play gary coleman

that guy man oh bushwick bill that photo of him

in bed dying and his wife taking a picture she’s

right next to him taking a photo that is one of the

creepiest photos i’ve ever seen in my life

which photo can i see it there’s a woman

i think i saved it

let’s see if i saved it here hopefully i did

but it’s gary coleman and he’s

on his deathbed

you see if you can find it brian

all right here i’m gonna look for it on google

you guys can talk

joey what’s the story though

did you teach today or not today you teach tonight

teach tonight yep

what’s curriculum this week

what the fuck are we doing

what’s that what the fuck are we doing we’re doing

the ham sandwich okay

awesome half guard technique and we’re also doing

old school from quarter guard okay and

here it is right here and north south chuck yes

she took a picture of herself it’s all


all over it you can find it if you just google

gary coleman

death photo

it’s him all fucked up

lying in bed and she’s taking a

picture just like

totally coldly just into the i mean you see

that’s what i’m getting from her

she just wants to get a

photo of herself next to this freak

next to this freak

maybe that’s his wife amy’s

thing it is his wife

it is his wife

she’s fucking selling

photos of her next to the dead body

or dying body whoa

he looks like a baby yeah

so he is a baby damn he got a big white girl

god damn so that was his wife for sure

yes oh shit yeah

well he divorced her but she

still had a

some power to see him i guess

i don’t know poor fuck

i don’t know what he did in the past life

if you believe in that

he did some shit

i heard he was like an asshole too

i heard he was just a

probably so hard to not be when you’re

three feet tall and everybody’s fucking with you

everywhere you go

yeah you know

going dynomite

he’s like that’s not that’s not my thing

oh that’s right i’m sorry what you talking about willis

that must happen

oh you’re not the guy from good times no that’s not

i love good times i love

good times i so thought that was you

seen her to audition with older

yeah the ants

you don’t look that good no more no it’s over look good

she’s older she had

baby 60 70 or something

she should be hot on the show

i was reading something

about you remember that band live

yeah never live

there was an article that i was reading about

how they broke up

and about how

the singer wanted all the

money he wanted him to sign off all the

rights to the songs and

everything to him i don’t know

who was right or who was wrong

but i was looking at that

and i was like how fucking hard is it to make it in the

music business is that the hardest

thing in all of show business

i think it is

right you think that’s the hardest thing

it’s the hardest

thing because

yeah i guess

maybe i mean

acting is kind of hard to you know sometimes it

just depends how good you are so you got

if you got good product

if you have persistence

and you keep

pushing if you have this but you know some people will

never get the good product you know

yeah i think you do have that

one comedian real

talent songwriter

look at mike posener he

started off

doing itunes or garageband

shit and giving a cd away and

now he’s got one of the number one cds out right now

i have no idea who that is he’s the one that’s

singing what’s his name

mike posner

is he good i like him

uh oh you wanna hear

once you hear

the song you’ll see you know what i’m joey

is gonna stab you with a pen

i’m gonna stab you with a pen cock sucker

you think this is good music

all right this

is a two half of fags with a banjo it’s very

tough and you know you see

these bands they

break up after two fucking

albums but it was like yeah you know

them getting

along with each other yeah

it’s impossible

whoa whoa whoa

brian that’s super loud

what is this mike posner he’s the one that

he was going to college up to like

three months ago now he has like the number one cd

he was just

found online pretty much really dude

this is this is the number one album

it just came out yesterday the

aliens are landing cocksucker

fucking garbage

fucking world is coming to you

i don’t want to judge this song harshly

because maybe i would like it under i’ve

heard it before

i’ve heard it before

i didn’t is it the guy with the big hoop earrings

that didn’t

i don’t think so now here’s the thing

about songs

when someone tells you this is the best song ever

never heard of it and then they play it if it

doesn’t grab you in like fifteen

seconds but this is

this is like

i heard that

we used to use it on the death

squad a couple years ago yes okay

oh it’s a couple years old

yeah this song

this song has been redone like just for this new

album that came out cause

some rapper found them

and they made him redo all his songs

and so there’s like old

school versions he used

to do like on garageband in his dorm room of this song

and now this song is like one of the number one songs

it’s crazy like it’s really interesting

like his his

story is really interesting

and he just got discovered on myspace

i think just off his website and word of

mouth and he used to

throw free songs

up on torrents and on his website and cds and

he just became big it’s crazy

i can get into that

that’s a good

story i like that story

there’s a band called ilil

and the song is called chase and shadows

chase listen to this for for

twenty seconds what’s it called chasing shadows by ill

i got super crazy baked on the vaporized yesterday

with a buddy of mine

and he goes check out this song and it’s just

i don’t know you’re either gonna love it or hate it

but it fucking blew me away it’s like

music you’ve never heard before like super

coming out of the closet radio it’s four twenty six

the band is ill

talking monkey chasing shadows is this it

yeah the chase and shot yeah

already went put a mask you must

have been really high son

i feel like i should go put on my elf costume

maybe i should dress up like a wizard wait to the

beach chosen


there’s no vocals or nothing it’s just all instrumental

it’s just oh really yeah it’s just all a dude just


on electronic shit and it’s like playing all

these different

gadgets and i like that it’s called dubstep

supposedly like huge in club i love listening to

music with no lyrics for writing

it’s just chaos

this is like when mars attacks yes exactly

this is like the background of a bank robbery scene yes

guy rich movie totally a guy rich movie

all right let’s kill this

i want you to go to one i can respect know me

last time i was here like nice go back go back to

my fucking have the

classic video on

these fucking people last time i was here i saw you

talking in the rain

i’m gonna drop another one but this is my present

to joe roland because i know he likes this dude but you

gotta plug your computer

okay what do you want

you’re gonna just see the first

minute of his performance

and i’m gonna show you i

can’t watch it on my

computer because it’s

right turn it around because

it’s nothing here

it’s nothing here you

gotta see this

you gotta fucking feel this

what is it it’s

james brown

live in zaire

nineteen seventy four doing the big payback

just the first

minute 1974

zaiya yeah just the

first minute he was there for the muhammad ali fight

this was the concert for muhammad ali

when he knocked out george

foreman whatever the fuck it was

i want you to see

the first minute of this

this is just for you dog you’re

gonna fucking die i’m

gonna die you’re

gonna fucking die

gonna fucking die he’s

fifty not twenty

he’s not ten with fucking organs or

giving away he’s

fifty gentlemen this man

will make you live equivalent

just look at the intro

for scottish your bladder splatter

wow this man will freeze your knee

if you will

let’s all welcome the world’s godfather of soul soul

brother number one

james brown god damn he comes out now the ufc posse

look at the get up

oh my god he’s a genie

holy shit

god damn god damn

god damn

he’s got a flowing robot for

those who’s not who are not seeing this and it’s

open chest down to his navel

this is fucking a classic slice of time

this is a classic moment a captured

a captured moment of a crazy time man and it’s inside

and there’s no internet

there’s no tmz

no cnn

and he’s got a fucking

thing on his belt that says gfos godfather of soul

shit deep look at them

look at that fucking hair

singing style fucking amazing amazing

look at that

you see him drop that split catch that mic on his

shoulder and jump up with it didn’t miss a fucking beat

he’s a master with that thing


james brown must have fucked everyone

he must have fucked them all

seen that i thought of you as the hardest working man

damn that was impressive as fuck

and you look at that

holy shit how many people

how who’s doing that today huh

nobody nobody can fuck with that god damn

that’s your heart that’s that’s what it’s all about

yeah suck it r kelly

suck he’s bad to the bone

that motherfuckers

but you gotta give him props

are you kidding i love r kelly you know

he didn’t my favorite black comedian

so we learned that from james

brown probably nobody makes me laugh more than r kelly

i’ve watched i’ve watched

every video these ever made i have

the whole series the trap in the closet on dvd

i got on dvd

he made it put out dvd

it’s so crazy

it’s like a window into madness you know

dude there’s a new song

my soldier boy you turn off your mic bro

this look this right here this is switch check

rock stars shut off his mic

hey there’s this new song

that people are saying it’s even

worse than our kelly it like it’s been so bad it’s a

brand new song by soldier boy called pretty boy

pretty boy soldier

it’s fucking the video looks like it

cost seven hundred bucks

and the song and the lyrics are fucking hysterical

it is super bad

i don’t know if it’s as bad as r

kelly r kelly probably crushes that i don’t

think that could be a worse song than r kelly the thing

about r kelly is it’s not just bad it’s just so much

drama going on

bitches always be accusing me of shit i ain’t doing

and he’s thinking about it

bitch i wish you would burn my motherfucking clothes

do you wanna be cool is you

covering guy

like you do it you covering it like they do on youtube

there’s all these people that got the whole thing

down there’s kids that got a shout

have you seen this

have you seen these youtube

videos yeah well i’ve seen them for other songs

that was the most amazing one it has no rhyme or reason

you know to be able to memorize that song was a feat

that’s like oh this is pretty boy swag yeah

i like it was terrible it’s

one of the worst songs ever

but you know what

there’s so many dumb people out there and they need

stuff too they need

stuff that appeals to them

there’s people that you play them

a good song that’s complicated and deep you play them a

whole lot of love

and they’re not

gonna get it they’re not

gonna get the song

but they’ll listen to that and

like hey guys my favorite

they need entertainment too

i like that guy though that

soulja boy i like him i like

but he’s you know what man he’s just having fun

i like that he’s having fun i like

watching his you stream videos he makes you

stream videos and he parties all the time

fucking like this kids having a blast man

he’s driving around

laughing and joking and talking

about the chicks he’s banging

i mean he’s wearing giant diamonds and shit

i think he’s having a good time i love it

i like watching this you stream show i don’t like it

i like that other song he had too

was the first song superman

oh yeah that’s a good

song that was a cool song yeah that’s a good song yeah

people love that

motherfucking song yeah and he’s

young too he’s like 20 years old or something like that

i mean how do you expect him to act

this is perfect i like what he’s doing

i think he’s doing a great job

he’s keeping it friendly

megan miller the video is very

entertaining even though it looks low budget it’s

very entertaining to watch them

dance around he’s very

smart he did that

thing where he got that a say now number

oh i have a say now number two

but he did this

thing where he got a say now

number and with his say now number he put it on a song

so everybody can call him

my seattle number is

eight one eight two three

seven four two

four five my favorite is listening to your messages

all right go

okay i don’t really have anything to say but

yeah keep it on what do you

think about

ufc 12 right

yeah it’s strange

right it’s strange

but it’s cool because

i did it i’ve used

it a couple times it’s like a little conference call

like i used it

going from the airport to the hotel

i just call it i set it up

and it goes live it

tweets that i’m

going live and then people wait in line to talk

and you can talk to me you have your own

radio station like you’re taking callers

like what’s up man

and nobody could listen to

those all listening everyone’s

listening yeah anyone can listen to the calls

and all the people

that are waiting to talk to you like there’s a hundred

people waiting they’re all listening so it’s like a

radio station

it’s like a hundred person

radio station

like i i you know

i was like giving people advice and talking to people

about life and joking

about fights coming up and joking about

all kinds of different

shit it’s pretty badass is it growing is that like a

new thing yeah well

that soulja

boy do this is

where i brought it up he get

22 million friends on say now

22 million people following god

in contact anytime

he wants he can send them all voicemail

that’s what the say nothing does it

alert you when you get a voicemail

so i’ll put up a voicemail i’ll

leave a message for everybody like you know

head to the

fights can’t wait is

gonna be fucking

crazy blah blah blah blah

i’m looking forward to this fine look for that fight

and then i send it see bitches later

and then everybody

gets a notification and then they can go listen to it

you get contacts it’s even more

direct than twitter

pretty crazy shit man because people

might miss your

shit in twitter like how many people do you follow

do you follow a lot of people

uh i don’t know

i follow like six hundred people i

think something

silly like that yeah six hundred

seventy six

but just anytime

someone says something remotely interesting

i’ll click follow

and i probably shouldn’t have said that

cause now people

gonna be asking me to follow

but when you do that you get this endless

stream on your home

page you know you can’t even keep up with it it’s like

so many new

tweets it’s

like it’s constant you know you’re always getting

you might lose like cool shit that people say

but if someone sends you one of

these like you get it

a lot of people follow a lot of people right

you guys don’t follow a lot of people

i do how do you follow

i don’t remember but i follow a lot like

seven hundred and

forty eight but i also delete i delete a lot of

you get annoyed with people yeah it’s

super fast they

tweet too much

they tweet too much

did you delete

kevin smith

yeah i did oh my i

added him back on recently though

because he doesn’t do it as much or no there’s this new

thing where you choose if you want the

replies or not on each profile have you seen that

no twitter on twitter

if you use twitter on the website

now if you go to

their profile there’s this little logo you can

click on and say show replies or

turn it on or off so

his problem was that he was

replying to all

these fucking

people and was just clogging up my twitter

but now i have

this little button i push and i don’t get any of it

well i don’t mind it i don’t mind when people spam

let them talk

who do you like

whose tweets do you enjoy

i love kevin

smith that’s

why i wanted one reason why i brought it up because he

he that’s cool she

kind of was

yeah and i like how he talks to people you know

he likes anthony kumia from opium

anthony didn’t like he’s like he’s always fucking

replying to everybody like he

tweets too much

but i was like i don’t care

that doesn’t bother me i can look over that

people are so impatient you know

can’t look over

you know six

seven lines of text

and just scroll down that

annoys you that much

sometimes people no no because its

clogs his promise he

would clog it

would be the whole page

and then you have to go to the

second page and then it’s like is it that hard to do

it’s annoying i know why why why do i want to

i mean he’s

using it like he’s spam

you like if that was your

email you would

be like why is this guy spam

he only does it

every now and then for like a few minutes he

does it a lot does

he do it too much yeah he does it a lot

slow down karen

slow down i know i’m just saying i

agree but now it

doesn’t bother me because you

could turn it off so now i follow him so

that was just my only

thing so you don’t get none of his retweets no

none of his ass

i want to see all the interaction though don’t

you want to see the interaction no i just go to his

yeah but i’ll go to his page or something you know okay

part of the fun for me though is

watching people

interact with people it’s like there’s a voyeuristic

thing to it all

i like watching like

porn stars talk to each other

and celebrities talk to each

other i like i like

watching all that shit i look into everything

watching just regular normal weirdos

talking about different things

i watch people getting douchey with each other

it’s fascinating

it’s like a little community

man this fucking podcast lost energy

feel that shit

hard doing two days in a row

oh it’s not

is not that hard

like anything i want to talk

about him already talked

about i did the tom like this podcast

he’s doing a podcast now

it wasn’t him it was

two of his guys dino and gary oh okay

when i talked to him for a little

while it was

kind of fun i’ll see him tonight tom like is done huh

i don’t know i

didn’t ask i didn’t know what it was always good to us

guy always always hooked us up

always when we

whenever we needed to promote gigs always had us on

always a nice guy

they cancel

the show well

these whole

radio stations

which formats they went

i don’t know

what they went with some hits hits top hits shit

you know that

whole talk radio

thing that didn’t work

out yeah it didn’t work out

damn it was around for like 15 years 20 years

solid right

it should have worked out

it’s the most


thing to listen to on the

radio but people got

tired of listening to the

radio and that

satellite radio came

along and so much freedom

so commercials kill

you can’t fuck

with opie and anthony dude they have the best

comics in the fucking country

they go on all the time and

those guys go off

you’re not gonna

be able to keep up with that some regular morning zoo

radio station that’s

wacky if you

wanna listen to something

funny in the morning

and you have the option of opie and anthony or

you know some morning

fucking nonsense

zoo that’s all censored

you’re not gonna listen

to them dude i use podcasts now i don’t even need

satellite radio

cause i just have them all podcasts are audible

you know like you can download opie and anthony

every day on audible

so well dude yeah a lot of

people get this off of audible they get this off of a

bunch of different

things you can put it on your iphone

put on your ipod put in your car

listen to on the

way to work that’s what a lot of people are doing now

i mean that’s the reason why this podcast is

successful it’s not like everybody’s got the time to

this i think most

of the people were listening to this this is like some

background shit

while they’re working totally

so my background friends

we’re here for you baby

all you people out there and

regular people land

working shitty

job joe you said

do you know anything

about the ufc being in 3d

yeah they’ve been filming in 3d for one

do you know what they’re

gonna do with that you have any idea

talk to the boss

i don’t know

they need to get on

that that’d be cool

yeah i don’t know what they’re doing

they’ve been filming it for a

while though

hmm very nice that

ufc card was fucking

nasty very nice

would you would you think

about your boy roy nelson

what do you

think he should do

roy nelson should he lose weight bro he got hit

fifty fucking times i mean it’s not like you know

i think i stood

in there that guy takes it you know whatever take

it do anything

so we know that

he can take

he can take

bombs no one’s ever

stood in there with junior

those santos for

three rounds like that do you

think you think

roy will ever get to the

point where he just snaps and says fucking

i’m just gonna

watch my diet i’m

gonna get in

great shape i’m

gonna go down at 205

with those punches to the head

made a difference

he might be able to move faster away from him

i don’t know what do you

think yeah he

would definitely i mean there’s no

way there’s no way

to be a champion

to be a champion you have to be in the best

shape of your life

he’s obviously not in the best

shape of his life i know he likes to eat and all that

stuff but i’m

thinking something

eventually will make him snap

he’ll get shredded he’ll be he’ll be

training like a fucking i hope

so i think of roy nelson was really in shape

like an in shape

yeah i’m talking

about motherfucker at 205 he would

crush he’s got some serious

knockout power and his jujutsu is awesome

jujitsu is awesome

you know he’s not afraid to fight anybody he can

yeah he just needs to

get in shape yeah and enough with the belly that’s all

and what about

something kind of cool about when that fucking

big belly motherfucker knocks you

senseless no no i’m i’m a huge fan of roy nelson i

would just like to see him shredded

that’s my boy roy

rogers nelson

he said roy rogers you know i’m saying that’s roy

rogers the fucking roast beef

place they used to have like roy rogers years ago

is there any news on crow cop at all

news on crow cop

yeah where’d that come from the chat room

don’t listen to them those people are i was looking for

ufc questions they said

no don’t listen no thiagua

you chat people do you stream chat fucks you win

okay i got a question for you read it

both of you guys

in the rematch

how do you think it’ll go down silver sun and two

shit who knows man i wanna see you gotta

guess you gotta guess

i would never

you know what i’m interested in seeing vitor now

i wanna see what vitor can do to anderson

i think that’s a

i was thinking about a rematch for a while

which i would still love to see

you know because it was such a close fight but

the reality is anderson

one you know he did tap them in one convincingly

yeah you know and the vitor

fight is an

interesting situation you know i

think i’d like to see that next

what about you

i’d like to see a rematch

than that either one

would be fine with me i would be fine with a rematch

i would love to see a rematch and

i would love to see the vitor

fight i would like to see him

against a different guy i think we have anderson for

only a certain amount of

fights more i want to make sure that the vitor

fight actually does happen

and if they set it up now it can actually happen

if i think that’s a big

fight if dana decided to go with silva

son in two how do you think that would go down

i think so would fuck him up quicker

yeah i think so i think so maybe now he’d really work

hey man like i was telling joe the other

night on the phone you predicted all this shit

and the last two big fights

they were armbars

you know fade or and this guy went down

at the last minute you know

this is the only sport that if you really watch ufc 4

and you watch you see the evolution

and it evolved

so quickly it’s not like baseball where they had like

sand gloves and

two thousand or something

yeah i mean it’s evolved so much

and these fighters are the top

level fighters

they evolve also

yeah they evolve

also that’s the only way to stay in the top level

you know as we evolve also so

and silva you know

i don’t think he guys everybody

keeps saying he pulled this out of his ass you know

oh he didn’t pull it out

he didn’t pull out his ass this

guy you don’t pull triangles out of your ass you pull

punches i mean if you wing a wild

punch the guy runs into it

and you’re like wow what are the odds that that landed

i could see being kind of wild but

still i don’t

think that’s wild because you were intending to

punch the guy in the face

if you intend to

punch the guy in the face and you do how is that lucky

that’s not lucky

that’s silly

you know it’s not like just

cause you got

caught and you know you can’t say oh he got you with a

lucky punch no

he fucking punched you in the head

he wanted to

punch you and that’s what he did like how was i

lucky and it was

also a great

day you can’t have a

lucky triangle

you know when they

started to ufc i know that one of the guys the gracies

their point was to

to go jiu jitsu

against any

other style to

prove to the

world that jiu jitsu

could go up

against any other

style and that

night that really came back to

fruition again

this guy was

but it was disproven in the

fight before see what was important

was that anderson was able to do something when

he got put in a bad situation but look at damien maya

when damien mine was trying to get ahold

of anderson

jiu jitsu certainly wasn’t the answer

because he needed to be able to

close the distance and get a takedown

until he gets that takedown

his jujutsu

it’s not gonna work

it’s worthless so

that’s what we saw in that

fight but what we saw with a killer like anderson

guy who’s such a killer

striker he’s got to be

dangerous off his back and that’s one of the beautiful

things about anderson he is that’s why

one thing i grab

because i grab the good and the bad

chill son is a bad

motherfucker and i applaud your dog

you went in

there all nice and cute he left there looking like

eddie munster

you see look

just like eddie he gets ugly in

every fight he

fights but bro that guy for

yeah i was impressed

yeah man he was right i

would love to see that rematch i

would not be i

would not be sad either way

i mean i would not be

upset one way or another either

one i’m really looking forward to i just thought that

while anderson is

young you know or relatively

young i don’t know how many more years he’s

gonna want to do this

i want to see him

fight all kinds of people

you know i wanna see him

fight hector lumbar

you know i’m saying

i wanna see him

fight some interesting dudes who are

fighting in another

place john jones john

jones john jones

up to two o five

that’s the one fuck yeah are

you kidding me

why are we hiring

from this and i i don’t i don’t have a problem

with the jails on a rematch if they decide to do that i

would love that to

either one either ones good jail son of john jones

googly moogly jesus good

googly moogly get silver on the line

round but you know what

chelsun is not

fighting at two o five he’s always one eighty five

i mean i guess he

could go up but he

never has before

right i mean

maybe he’s fought

earlier fights at 205

i don’t remember them though

he was fighting in the wc

one eighty five

so wc one eighty five and

ufc one eighty five i don’t

think he’s ever missed weight

has he missed weight

not that i could

so there’s no reason to i mean anderson like had some

fights at 205 like to go up there

i guess chao

could do it too though he probably walks around pretty

heavy right

john jones is a

scary motherfucker though

that’s a scary

dog they just got him there in a cage

right now i don’t even know when they’re

gonna let him out

they might let him out on new years

they might let him out for the thanksgiving

thing they don’t even know

they might as well just give him a

title shot right away as soon as possible

i don’t know why

fuck around

why fuck around because

he wants to develop

he wants to be the greatest of all time

so he doesn’t want a

title shot is that what you’re saying no he

doesn’t want a

title shot he does no greg jackson is the guy who

guides him right

greg jackson said to me

that what he wants to do is make sure that he’s tested

before he fights for the

title he wants him to really be tested

and really to get worn on

like greg jackson’s a

smart man and he got too

smart he got test

205 he ran through

brandon vera

matt house no he

did he did vladimir

those are right

those are some tests

right but he

hasn’t been put in an adverse situation that’s what

it is by test good

because he’s not

good right but

he wants to set him up with someone who made test him

who were they top

ten guys at 205 that

could probably work him

right now that

i don’t know if anybody

could work him

i think he might be able to beat shogun

yeah i think he

might be able to win the title

you know i mean i

think he’s incredibly talented

i could see shogun

catching him

who knows shogun is really good off his back to

shogun can dive on some leg locks and shit he

doesn’t fuck around

shogun’s a bad

motherfucker everywhere

but john jones is

special athlete man

he’s got something

he’s got something

the way he does it is just so confident

and he’s got an aura

about him you know

to use the hicks

and gracie term there’s some shit that john

jones is doing

he’s got a very rare ability to look

impressive against everybody and he’s

super duper

ultra cool that

guy was so nice

i mean he’s just like the coolest dude

coolest friendliest

he’s down to

earth he’s intelligent the opposite of a douche

yeah the opposite

and he doesn’t have a burden

douchebags have a burden

they’re always hating

themselves they’re hating themselves for the way they

treat other people

to hate themselves for the way they lived

their life to hate themselves for all the negative

energy they’ve created all the negative energy from

their childhood all that shit

so they just

everywhere they go that wears you out man

you know it

might motivate

you to a certain extent but when it comes to the

long race when you don’t have time for ego and bullshit

and it’s all

about you know who can really

who can race to

greatness faster

the guys who

have the best personalities get there better

they get their cleaner

guy like phaidor

you know phaidor has some

doubters but i don’t know

about any haters you know who hates phaidor

how can you hate that guy

he looks like a fucking dishwasher repairman and

knocks dude senseless

you know and he

doesn’t talk shit

doesn’t talk shit ever

and he doesn’t even get

upset when he loses

when he loses he’s gracious he’s a gentleman

doesn’t lose for ten years

he loses and he says

you know those who

do not fall down do not

stand or something like that

he said it more

eloquently it’s like he

gained something from it you know

he needed that loss

for character you know yeah

yeah who knows how he’s

gonna come out in the next

fight with something to

prove you know

just like bj

anytime bj loses he always comes back on fire

you know they’re not fucking doing fatal

and over him

they’re not doing that

fight they’re

doing fatal

and bigfoot

or ovary man bigfoot rather

ovary so who they

gonna stay are

i don’t know man

they don’t know if they’re

gonna do a rematch or not

but i want to see that

ovary and fade or

fight that’s what i want to say

that’s the fight i want to say

i want to see we’re doing

fight over him

again for the

title for sure because we’re doing beat him in pride

but i want to see over

and fade or

that’s the fucking fight man

that’s a good fucking

fight son real quick shout out to matt horwich

he’s fighting out he’s fighting

tyler’s latest

this saturday and irvine

i think it’s called war on the mainland

or something like that but

the the main

fight is tim sylvia versus paul buentello

matt horwich

took the fight against talents late to son on

short notice but

he’s always in shape

his jiu jitsu is awesome it’s gonna be a great fight

i want to give a

shout out to

a kid patrick from twitter it’s his birthday today

he’s a good man he

tweeted me and

asked me he

said this kid had the same birthday as rogan

if we give him a

shout out happy birthday

patrick i think hulk hogan’s birthday

today too that fucking

will hey it’s a time for a word from my sponsor

no it’s not

yes it is the

flashlight we’re back bitches

look at this here’s something the

flashlight gave me that we talked

about yesterday

i don’t want

that shit you

know what now why

would they give you this

it’s at what for

folks that are only listening this is

a limp rubber dick it’s not real a pink

limp rubber

dick that’s made out of the same material that the

flashlights made out of

it’s funny because

they sell it like something to put on your coffee

table as a gag haha

is that what

it’s just for

fun to make you feel uncomfortable

that you just held a dick in

front of a man

it’s like bachelorette

party stroking it yesterday

what we’re talking

just sit there like a porn star

yeah beating off having a conversation

these fucking i used to wrestle

they fucking around over at a

flesh no they’re not fucking around

they make the

green got a

solid product

no it’s blue avatar was blue joey

diaz see avatar

no god i just

watch kick ass

did you wasn’t that

great did you

like it was 20 minutes too long but the girl

stole the fucking oh yeah i love that

comes a good movie

20 minutes too long

watch bullet the

other night what

oh yeah yeah it’s good to

it steve mcqueen is always an animal

crazy looking at san francisco and

you know the 1960s 1968

there’s nobody on the road

you know you’re just driving

it’s like easy

you’re on the highway you just driving driving a street

just driving

you don’t realize how much

the population is increased

until you watch like a

movie from the sixties

you see like new york

street new york

in like a nineteen fifties

movie the hustler

there’s not that many cars

everybody just driving around no problems

now we just take it for granted

that anywhere you go it’s

gonna be a city there’s

gonna be too many fucking people too many cars not

gonna get anywhere but at one

point in time that wasn’t the case

when they first made cities like

why would everybody live together in this one

thing well because

when there’s not that many people and you can

drive around it’s really pretty fucking cool

new york city with no traffic

that would be the shit

it’d be boring

i’d be boring

wouldn’t it

why would he be boring there won’t be that many people

well you can

there would

still be plenty of people you’re

still gonna have some

traffic you’re just not

gonna have the

kind of traffic that you have now

it takes you half an hour to get across town at least

you know it can take you

hours to get around new york when it’s around rush hour

it can take you forever to get out of the city

you know to get to long island to get across the

it’s a fuck

it’s a nightmare

there’s too many fucking people

i swear to people as an ongoing subject in this podcast

there’s no answers

that’s the unfortunate problem the answer is you just

have to move out of la or big cities in columbus ohio

it was always one mile one

minute or better

here it’s like

15 minutes per mile

is the average or something retarded

like that but the people

let’s be honest

it’s more fun here

right well the weather’s better

the weather’s

better and for what we do it’s better here but

you think like people wise

you run into more interesting people out here

then we just

you don’t hang out with retards

like any city there’s cool people like you’ve met

some of my friends

from columbus if you can you know we all hung out

they’re all

nice guys yeah they’re down

earth people

so what do you

think is that but don’t you

think like there’s certain parts of the country where

people are more interesting per capita

well just because you have more people like top

texas is awesome

right texas

is one of my favorite

places ever but because it’s huge it’s like a big city

people say that

it’s because there’s more people but i also

think that when you

get a lot of people together like in new york and you

know any big city like that

just the sheer

competition there’s so many people in there

everybody’s moving fast

everybody’s got to keep up with everybody else like

no one is like no one’s faster

thinker or faster talker than like east

coast people

like new jersey new york

they’re angry

angry hustle

competition sort of a

right joey don’t you

think new yorkers

no one’s more

aggressive than new yorkers

as aggressive people ever but they’re really

aggressive new york you got a fucking

go in new york yeah you got to go people don’t go like

this stop sign

yeah how they do healing

no you go get the fuck somebody fucking go already

fucking moron i

gotta get to the wheat

store what is

wrong with you

you know that shit don’t make you know

there’s just a lot of

things i see that you look at you like this shit

wouldn’t fucking fly

no it’s just

wouldn’t fly the

other day some guy in

front of my

just pulled in

front of my

house and got out of the car

and three people were behind them beeping

i went upstairs and got my police

badge and said move

the fucking car bitch

and he fucking

moved you know

but it’s like

i don’t like that part of it like you

gotta go go bro what’s all this shit

when you have really good weather

and really good

conditions and

things are easy

it tends to make you a bit soft

and that’s what i think i

think there’s a lot of people that grow up out here

you know like a lot of chads you know

you know the type of guy i’m talking about like

there’s like a softness

they don’t have to deal with like

harsh winters

they don’t have to deal with

you know the craziness

that the northeast

has to deal with

you know what i mean

i think people

think faster in the east

coast in general

oh you got a fucking

thank you see look at look at that

thing i watched did you see that

interview with william chat in

the interview bernard gets

yeah did you see that no is that


very interesting i

heard bernie

gentz used to be on opie and anthony all the time he’s

crazy he just shot four

motherfuckers for just insinuating

but he proved them

right he said they like how did you know he was

gonna mug him well

look at 20 years later

three out of the four in prison

well it could be because he shot him and fucked

their head up and then they won the

fucking world

was crawling and he went over and pulled the fucking

trigger yeah

the bullets

did you see the fucking interviews he gave

afterward no

he told the new york times

that mother should have had abortions listen

you don’t talk like that before you go to sentencing

wow that’s the shit you say from behind bars

he was a stern guy

but i think

about that guy when i think about new

york he said i ain’t even giving him the opportunity

he’s out of jail

out of jail

how long has it been out of jail

long time i got thrown out of jail it happened in 82

i got thrown out

did he go to jail what happened was he makes bold

statements afterward is

right shut the fuck up guy

so they prosecute him for something else

i forget the

story now if

you look it up they prosecute him for something else

but he was a hero

well they just don’t want to encourage people to be

carrying guns

be vigilantes

but the problem is man

but i look at that what do you do though well do i

would you know anthony from opium anthony he’s got a

carry he carries a pistol

they don’t talk about it on the radio

i guess the the station doesn’t like

bringing it up but he’s got

he’s got a fucking gun on him

you have to

get a carry pit you

rat you have to

you have yeah in

texas you can carry

that with you right yeah it’s way better

to have it when you need it he’s got to get

a need it and

i’m a firm believer i

i carried a

gun for years and fucking bad guns and hot guns

and i tell you what

and this is why i tell people all the time you

carry a gun you

carry a knife you attract that energy

yeah next time you get into a beef somebody’s

gonna have a

knife i’d never

carry a knife

again nobody

ever attacked me in life i got attacked with a

knife in aspen

colorado really

and i picked up a fucking pipe

but if i wouldn’t have

slipped the way i did that guy

would have cut me

picked up a pipe

and hit him across the fucking leg with it but he had a

he had like a little fucking

where were you attacked

we were hanging behind like a

strip club at

3 in the morning i

was at a gas station i was at a gas station

and the guy was fixing my car like a big garage place

and the guy thought i had said something

to him i’m like i didn’t send them to you my car is

ready he was like no no

you cut me off before

what happened

here for two

hours i was just looking

for somebody to stab yeah he was just a little crazy

you know what i’m saying

so he pulled the knife out

he went like this and i

moved back when i

moved back there was a pipe on the fucking like a

you know those pipes for wiring they were

doing the place

and i slipped and i picked up the fucking pipe

but i always remembered that

when i carried a gun

everywhere i

would go people had fucking guns

i go to buy grandma

coke the motherfucker had a gun

what are the odds i stopped

i was in dream

coke dealer with a gun wait a

minute once i stopped you know like one time i

heard a bullet go off one

night when i had a gun route

20 feet by me the guy shot another guy at a club

whoa you know and this was

i was a kid i remember hearing that fucking thing

and i stopped with guns how old were you

24 maybe yeah

but i never ever carry

after i got caught

for the machine gun with the kidnapping i never

boring last time

that was a good last time though yeah

the bank yeah

yeah you went out

kidnapping somebody

machine gun fuck yeah no fucking around

what you got bitch

you have like them the

things over here like with the ammo and

i give up that’s you know what that’s the

ultimate shit you

could tell somebody you know what i mean

little thing

get some instant respect

tell me you were arrested

for kidnapping and got a machine gun

damn that’s deep

you don’t wanna fuck with that dude

that’s the way to get out of a winning

haha absolutely

got of a lot of

things trust me

i got something to tell you but that’s

you carry your weapon

to be prepared to fucking

carry that weapon

i tell that to people all the time people like bro

i’m thinking of getting a gun

bitch before you take that gun out

you better think twice

is it possible here’s the question is it possible

for human beings to ever evolve past this

is it possible for people

to ever evolve past violence and bullshit and lies and

and hate is it possible that

war is do we need it we need it we need it

because it fuels

it makes you

appreciate love more makes you

struggle more

it makes the competition greater

you always think

about what’s

going on think

about that a half a world away

everybody’s got a machine gun

shooting at each

other right now

yeah be walking

in israel and fucking a bus

going home and somebody comes up and says

fuck the jews and they fucking pull it

switch and there you are

but on a smaller

scale if people can be

is it just a certain amount is it a certain number

is it like after a certain number

you can’t be friends with everybody

i mean how the fuck the wars get

started i mean it

doesn’t get

started with a

group as small as us

right it’s not for people

so if four people can get along

what are the numbers

what are the numbers

where everybody can have a good healthy i

think every 20

every 20 people 20 there’s one bad

motherfucker you

think so well

but if you can get rid of them what’s a manageable size

like if you wanted to

start a tribe

like all your own people

what’s a manageable size

where everybody

could be cool with each

other nobody’s

gonna have any problems with each

other we’re all

gonna be friendly everyone’s

gonna be alright

two two one

one in a cat

one in a cat

one in a cat a flashlight

it’s impossible

listen man in

drama sometimes you need it i

think so too change what

there’s an expression i can’t remember

right now that fucking joint i’ve said this before

and it sounds

crazy but i

think it’s all

a mathematical equation i

think everything you do in this life all the people you

come in contact with all your actions all your motions

it’s all part of a

giant equation and everybody’s equation is

piling up together

everybody’s numbers everybody

what you’re doing is affecting me when i’m doing

is affecting him

we’re all doing it together and

we’re working towards some fucking

crazy goal that we just can’t see

i believe that

me too didn’t

zeus wasn’t

you the god of war what was the mythology zeus

what was it

thor was a goddess thunder

zeus was out

of war one of

those guys sent this was

he was a bad

motherfucker the

grand poo pie one of

those guys sent this sundown to see what was

going on right

and this motherfucker came back and

they talked

about war all the damage this guy had done his son

right and when he went to

zeus and he

asked his son what the fuck is going on

you know what are you doing what are you

chopping these heads off he says

without war there’s no change

is that what it is

something to do maybe

yeah but the question is

could we evolve past this

the problem

is you look at the numbers you look at sustainability

the just the sheer numbers of

human beings and then you look at the amount of

space that we have

and you got to

think if we’re at like six or

seven billion now

what’s gonna happen when it’s 20 billion what’s

gonna happen when it’s 80 billion

there’s a shitload of land though so

there’s tons

and tons of land if you just go to ohio there’s just

millions and millions of acres of land

so you think everybody’s just

moved to ohio i’m just

saying that

there’s a lot of

states out there like you know

south dakota

like that there’s a

fucking land

everywhere and who’s growing

their food uh

mexico where they getting

their meat mexico

oh mexico japan japan

yeah um i don’t know man

that’s what i

worry about

that’s the kind of shit that fills my head up every day

stop thinking

about it get drunk

we gotta get you some merlot man

take away your weed and

take away your

merlot it’s your birthday we

gotta start

drinking let’s have

some shots it’s

your birthday

where’s your jack

tell us some

shots you got tequila

i gotta drive

to drinking just hanging around with a

bunch of men

it’s your birthday

we’re going the tank together

for us i’m not i’m not looking for birthday shots

thank you though

appreciate it how

about birthday high fives what are you doing tonight

what are you doing tonight dog

going out are you yeah

with everybody the

olive garden

olive garden huh

go to the olive gardens

my favorite

sticks when

you there your family

no you didn’t say it right

bitch you say it the

right way when you hear your family hey hey

there was that show that used to be

on serious the wise guy show you remember that show i

never heard it oh

have the hard day it was

it was that for two

hours it’s not even on no more hey let’s go to y’all go

never anymore

part of it made me

nostalgic but part of it

made me remember all

these idiots that i knew back in new york

very very specific part of the country huh

very specific so it’s gonna be interesting but

ufc is in boston there you go that’s what we’re talking

about was last fuck

what do you think so far

bj and fucking

frank yeah good to is gonna be interesting man

gonna that’s gonna be interesting as fuck

cause you know pj is gonna come out angry

i think bj is gonna try to take frankie

edgar down i

think you’re right i’m trying to strangle him

i think you’re totally right

all he did in that fight was

stand and bang with him and try to stuff the takedown

you know i think bj

learned a lesson that fight is

gonna come back stronger than ever

but frankie

edgar’s coming back stronger than ever too man

frankie edgar is better in every fight

every time that dude

fights you see a new improved version of him

you know after he beat

shaun shirk

and then after he

beat matt veach

and strangled matt

veach i was like this

guy is fucking getting better man he’s getting better

and then when he beat pj

he’s gonna be even better now coming into this

fight he’s gonna kick it up another notch

and he’s not getting

tired think

about that dude he does not get tired

he can go five five minute

rounds full clip and he’s good

he’s good it’s crazy

he doesn’t get

tired he was just as fast in the fucking fifth

round as he wasn’t the

third as he

was in the second

you think he gets

tired at night

i think he’s good

night night

i think you get some warm milk

and maybe someone reads him a story

i can’t i can’t get

tired joe and then he goes no

no we think

about my man

james tony randy couture

i mean last

james tony randy

couture is a fucking fascinating

fight man i

loved it i love

first of all the fact that james tony

is the first guy who’s like a real

professional boxer

at a high level

stepping into

mma and yeah he’s 41

but he’s still got

skills do james tony

still a bad

motherfucker and

randy coutures like 48 47 i believe yeah

so and but you know the

thing is like he’s doing the

right things he’s

training with

antonio mckee he’s

training with mohle wall

he’s training with king mo he’s

training with

wrestlers you know they’re

teaching him how to try to

stand up who knows

all he has to do though


all he has to do is

stuff one take down

stuff one take down and get

close enough to get a hand free

just get close enough i hit

us have a position where

he’s got a little

a little bit of distance he created and fucking blame

all he has to do is one with

those four ounce

gloves i’m not saying he can do it

but i’m saying

if he can do it chances are he’s gonna fuck

randy up if he can land it my sources

tell me he’s not

training at all

really yeah

this is bad for the

promotion any bravo

oh no he’s training a lot

yeah oh eddie

did i just fuck it up i

think you might have fucked it up that’s part of the

promotion has he been

training it’s

today’s opposite

training sucks

it’s two days what

today’s opposite day by the way

today’s opposite

day yeah oh

what is opposite

time well who knows man made me they’re putting out

rumors that he’s not

training so that people will

respect it but i know he lost weight

he look pretty goddamn

thing i was interviewing

him he didn’t look fat

at all i just imagine him at home and i ain’t fucking

training for no

motherfucking shit

what if he pulls it off

the fuck i’m a

train fuck that i’m

gonna go run for ten this is what he said to me

you know usually

usually got a six inch punch

i got three inch

punch so i need

three inches

three inches

on knock his ass out

that’s all i need

and he’s right

dude let me tell you something

if he clipped you like this

just like that

just gave himself like three or four inches

it would fucking really hurt

it would really hurt he

could jack he was giving it up to bruce lee

he’s a bad motherfucker

he got it wrong though

i told to dana

dana goes bruce lee had a one inch punch

why can’t they figure out the

bruce lee killings and like all the murders and

stuff that whole family murders but they

you think there would be

by now dna or something where they can

they can solve so many

great conspiracy

brian this is

a conspiracy we need to get mythbusters on

did they just

give up on that

whole thing chinese they

never even looked into it i don’t

think there was a conspiracy

they never even looked into it

was there conspiracy

with bruce lee

yes there was there

crazy guys oh yeah

what was it conspiracy

well that he was found

dead asleep and like some his mistress’s

apartment so they

think someone killed him

they think someone does and his son

why would they kill us poison

them or something

fuck you and your son

right so they

killed his son

later in my

put a bullet into the gun

that was it was it was supposed to be a blank gun

right how do

you get a fake how do you get a real gun on the side

there isn’t

doesn’t even come

close do you know did

you look into

brandon lee yeah

back in the day yeah

so you don’t have

that is incompetence

no why would there be

you have props for a

movies and stuff

like that you don’t use real guns

there’s not even a real gun on warner brothers

except in the security guys pockets you know

but you don’t mix

fucking fake guns with real guns that’s impossible

you know well it’s not that it’s not a real gun

it’s a real gun it’s just

shooting a blank

right but they can’t

those guns can’t

shoot real people have died by taking

those guns and putting them up to

their head with no bullet in it and it’s blowing

their brains out you know that right

right but that’s not what happened you know i know he

what happened what i read

was that it was there was something in the barrel

on that as he

fired the blank

something something whatever it was in the barrel we

should probably look it up

when we were talking

out of our ass but he did get shot and killed on a set

i always felt that the father got ice because

when he left run run showing

those motherfuckers

to come to the united

states to shoot into the dragon

right that was his end

there was a

seat waiting

for sure that was big heroin

money i’m telling you this from the

heart if you know anything

about that you

check out that company

the people who made fist of fury in chinese connection

they invested you know what it cost to make the chinese

connection how much 80 000

really you know how much

you know how many times they made that over

do the fucking math

how much do you

think that movie is made

look at it there was no

explosions there’s no 3g

there’s no 3d

there’s no sag

how much do you

think the chinese

connection has made 10

a day for all

those japanese guys you know

so you’re saying that the company that made fist of

fury the boss the people who

put up the producers on that

if you know anything

about raymond chow

it’s all heroin it’s

they were money laundering they

did you know it’s

money laundering guys

you know you

got to make up to to have this mercedes i got to make

money and make this mercedes

i gotta make it to

cover this how am i doing this

he made three movies

they were all box office fucking

worldwide smashes

one was bigger than the other

and i come to you and i go hey

i’m out now if anybody knows anything

about anything

mafia concept and even italian

those morons

could never figure that out

it’s fucking chinese

you know look at

japan when you fuck up in the mafia in

japan don’t they cut your fucking finger

or don’t you have to cut it off

if i told you to cut your finger off

what were the chances

you understand me

these people don’t fuck around they’re not

white they’re not soft

these people don’t so

they were making tons of

money making

those movies

they decided

to leave them

and he decided to go to warner brothers to make

enter the dragon

and so they killed they gave him a little taste

but not the

taste they were waiting on

not the big

taste they were waiting on they made raymond child

a little partner

then they gave him a piece of

death hunt with charles bronson

little partner

but not was enough

huh so you really

think that’s what happened well

any other ideas oh i mean i don’t know i

officially was a

brain aneurysm

it’s a brain aneurysm

well when something

shoots you in the head your

brain bleeds

right it’s mysterious nobody knows nothing

i mean he was 33 years old he was in perfect health

you know it

could have been poisoned

you know the destiny

could say that we

could have paid for this

the chinese

could have paid for this all across the line

to the you know that’s a corrupt country like any other

place like that they

could have paid doctors to say whatever the fuck they

would have said they buried him and that’s it

why hasn’t linda lisa let’s dig up the

motherfucking body and see was really


because they probably

gave us you know they killed the son to boot bro

so your husband

and your fucking son dies this is a coincidence

was there any threats on his life

and brenley

i don’t think

so you think they

after reading how it actually happened i

guess they were used

using blanks but they were

rushed at a

time so they took real bullets and took out the

the powder out of the bullets

that i guess

would also make a blank

but what happened is somebody

unknown fired

those blanks and they

reinserted bullets

on top of it like more

blanks and so it

exploded and a

piece of the bullet flew out of it

yeah or something like that so what a

crazy way to die

because not only are we

gonna shoot you

we’re gonna

shoot you on fucking camera i don’t

think was nothing

crazy how come that

video is not on youtube

yeah right exactly there’s just so many

it’s just weird

i want to watch it by the way so many

doubts with both of their deaths

that it’s not

you know it’s just that is there a

brandon lee

sounds like it could be just a coincidence i was a kid

and all of a sudden he was dead and buried and gone

and then the movie came out two weeks later

he died before the movie came out

perfect timing he died

perfect timing

he died july 16th or something like that the

movie came out eight days later it was something

they were filming the movie

and they were done filming and then they released it

eight days later after he died no

no the movie was done

two weeks before they released it he died either way

he had one more

movie it was legend wasn’t there some game of death

which he filmed just a piece i was so contemptuous

i thought you were talking about

brandon lee

no we’re talking

about bruce i’m sorry so

you know there’s

so many coincidences now this is american

studio they

would never kill somebody you know i’m saying you don’t

think they would

i think there’s some

crazy producers out there that

would kill people

understand they

understand the

death equals money

now is there a documentary out there

about brandon i

think there is i was i

think was it legend

or i would like

to say that

about that survivor producer

again one of

his wife and cancun

and he’s back he’s back in america mexican


trying to figure out how to prosecute him you got an

extra day in mexico

guy kill his wife

mama tell you something

i don’t know if you’ve seen it

i mean i’ve been on that side of the fence

i just was watching that michael jackson documentary

again a couple weeks ago yeah i’m look

about his death but no

about the thing we went to see that night that

thing and him okay okay

i’m watching him

i’m watching him

does he look like a fucking dude that’s

fucked up to you as much as they said he was fucked up

to do all those

dance move watch the

movie you’re an intelligent

guy you get back to me

well he wasn’t just doing coke or whatever

he was doing oxygen or whatever the fuck they said

he was doing

whatever they said he was doing that one part

where he freaks out

remember he fucking

freaks out there’s one part

where they they show

most of the

movies is all good

they don’t even get into drugs or anything like that

it’s all good

but they show a little

piece where he’s

freaking out with the director

and he doesn’t feel it and it just feels like

it feels like just

i don’t know what it is just

remember that piece

wow we had to get the

right mixture but

that guy was that

freak that guy was owen

they were gonna take his little afro they were

gonna take never neverland

not much money that

motherfucker’s made

since he’s been dead a lot right tons

tons they’re all jumping up

and down now red dragon was the documentary by the way

red dragon yeah the

bruce lee documentary

it’s bruce lee or

brandon lee both

are brandon

lee i’m sorry

red dragon red dragon

red dragon cool

i’m not a big conspiracy guy but it’s just

just too weird well

his death definitely

sounds like

if he had some very

if he really pissed off some chinese mob guys i don’t

think they would let that

slide because the guy became a movie star

you know if he’s making some

other people yeah i

could see them killing them

i don’t know the details

you know they shot those

movies they shot

those like those movies

caused nothing

they shot those in the jungles of fucking thailand

look at fist of

fury the first one yeah

they shot that

that was no set they shot down the jungle of thailand

on a dark street

there was no

there was no

craft services there was none there was wontons and

a fucking tent with chinese

music on you

saying it’s

crazy when you

think about how recent

movies really are what a recent invention

i mean movies were you know

i believe in the nineteen hundreds they were

silent right

when did they

start making

sound movies

i’m not sure

40 50s and by the way that was

bruce lee not

brandon lee sir

what was that red dragon

oh that was the documentary on

brandon land

bruce lee not

bruce lee bruce lee okay but i

think it was like 1940s i

would say 19

it was the ot

yeah we think

about how recent invention

movies are the

crazy thing

about the whole

movie experiences

it really does program you we have like some certain

things that we

wanna see in life

and when you show them

to us like we have like a natural inclination of fall

successful people

it’s like natural

you know follow someone who’s better than you

learn how to be better than you are

you know learn

learn from people that are very

learned but

when you see a

movie it’s like the guy has all

these attributes of the hero

in real life

but it’s fake and he’s

sixty feet tall

and every time he talks fucking

music plays

and your whole

system gets so confused

cause you really

there’s a lot of

girls especially girls

there’s a lot of people that believe that life really

should be like a

movie they’re really

shocked that life

doesn’t turn out like a movie

how crazy was it that when

bruce lee all he ever wanted was a shot in hollywood

and he got ripped off he got rejected

he got sent back to

china he blows up in china

and now warner

brothers wants him back now they wanted him

and then he finally gets a shot he gets

fuck he gets to call the shots of the

movie and he

doesn’t show up to the set

he has cold feet

he’s fucking nervous as hell they’re

shooting around him

he won’t show up he’s

freaking out he’s having a nervous

breakdown how

crazy is that then he finally shows up

and just crushes

you watch that movie now

sure there’s some corniness

from enter the dragon you know it’s an old movie but

there’s so like a good 75

of it just stands the test of time the scenes

the way it shot

like when he’s out when they’re out

during the day and

he fights bob wall

and bolo young

god damn it

those are the best fucking

scenes ever

he was so intense

he’s moving around like muhammad

ali you can

see had come

along before that that represented martial arts at all

in a mainstream way

there had been no one that

grabbed the

public’s attention he was the

first and when he did big boss’s

first movie he wasn’t even the star at

first he was like bill

third or fourth

and then he just started

directing and fucking putting together the

fight scenes

and then they bumped him up and made him they go this

motherfuckers just taken over

this dude just

start you know was

they just threw him on the film

you know last

minute and he took over

and then from that

point on boom

he just watched the

which is one

of my all time like top five when i get down and dirty

one of my all time

movies is a chinese connection

which was released

whatever the big boss here yeah fist of fury

in that movie

his fucking anger

comes through

i mean he’s so good in that movie

everything he does he hang

bro this guy took clint

eastwood and took him a step further

he would kill the guys and then hang them

on the street so people

could see him

that’s nobody’s done that shit

nobody’s ever done

charles bronson

to the nobody

he hung him

twice you know why’d you kill my teacher

why why why

think of that last

fight scene

where he goes to the

school and he says

this does not concern you

i’m allowing you

to leave he

throws them out and the three that

stick around

he jumps over a coffee table

watch the movie guys

he jumps over the coffee

table into a flying sidekick this ain’t no joke

he beats the fat guy with the

sword he puts him down the

sword goes through his back

then he goes to the yard

and he fucks up two guys

he fucks up the russian

then he goes into the

studio with the new

chucks and shit

fucks the master up

then he goes back to the

thing to the

school and he tells the cops

not to fuck around with his

school and the cops are scared of him

he’s talking to me he’s like

if i go to jail don’t fuck with them

then he opens the door to open

and there’s a

bunch of people outside

ready to shoot him

and he runs to the cam and he

throws a flying psychic

and you hear the fucking bullets go off in the air

that’s what

killed me as a kid

not seeing my

mother died that

tormented me when

bruce lee got shot

at the end of fist of fear

because i didn’t know whether he’d come back or not

but think about that fucking movie

you know who was acting

coach was on

chinese connection who

steve motherfucking mcqueen long distance

you understand me

he was calling

steve mcqueen saying dog this like i do in this scene

what do you

think wow do you

understand me dog

and him and

steve mcqueen were running together

and they both wanted what each

other had yeah

steve mcqueen

didn’t want to be no star he didn’t like people

you don’t want people talking to him

steve mcqueen beat the fucking

alley mcgraw

and went to work the next day nobody gave a fuck

he was a mean guy

steve mcqueen

he wanted to be a

fighter and

bruce lee wanted to be a fucking actor

an international star

they both had what each

other wanted bro

steve mcqueen

just wanted to piss on people and fuck people up he

called police one time and said dog

let’s take a ride this producer

died i’m gonna go piss on his

grave like i told him when he

fired me from that movie

steve mcqueen wasn’t a nice guy wow

what did he die of cancer

he went to mexico and couldn’t get healed breast cancer

breast cancer

enter the dragon was so fucking

strong like

bruce lee was so amazing that

they put out

they put out the craziest

thing of all the

whole bruce lee

thing the craziest thing

is that they put a

movie out after he died game of death

and only the last 10 minutes is him

they decided to make a

movie with 75

another dude

it was another dude and

if you watch that

movie it the

they put they take

pictures or

scenes from return of the dragon yeah

they can mix it all

up yeah they mix it all of it the editing is

at least a photo

in the first five minutes of the movie

they put a photo

of bruce lee

on a moving body on the double

really they put a

photo it’s the worst

photoshop ever

the beginning of that

movie then they

shoot the whole rest of the

movie with like

anytime you get a good look at

bruce lee it’s another movie

it’s another fucking movie man

and then they cut back and then

when you see the profile it’s

a stunt double with

glasses big fucking

glasses though

they had a stunt double for kareem abdul

jabbar too because they had to have

an excuse for him at the end of the

movie when he actually does come in

so if you watch the

movie you see the big tall

black guy is that even kareem but

you know he’s

gonna fight him at the end

you know like people talk

about the seven wonders

of the world the

grand canyon

you know what the eighth one in the

world is that they

sequeled that

movie 18 times we’ve had this conversation

how you doing we’re here today

eddie bravo joe rogan i like to

speak to you

about a pitch oh we’re all ears

we like to do game of

death three

you know what i’m saying

again isn’t bruce lee den we don’t need

bruce lee you understand we got the pictures

break the pictures down to show pictures and shit

dude so how much are we gonna make

that’s not gonna make any money what

boxes of fucking how much a game of

death when i like to see it they don’t even have what

those movies made

you can’t look you can look up any movie on white pity

and see what they made white pitier

whatever the fuck it is white pity

i still got it fucking

white people dude and what about the whole

forget about

game of death and

using a fake bruce lee for most of the movie with the

worst editing ever for

other movie ever the editing ship but how about

the like bruce lie

and then there was like a bruce lou

that all these

total ripoffs of bruce lee they just went with it

it was like kiss

like kiss now they got

ace freeley’s makeup

peter chris’s makeup

but they call him tommy thayer and eric singer

but they got ace and peter’s makeup it’s incredible the

asians were so hot back then that’s like a certain

ducellation yeah

but the kiss no one’s ever pulled it off like kiss did

making dudes wear the same makeup

the guys who they’re replacing yeah yeah

at first they didn’t do that no at

first when they first lost ace

they got vinny vincent

he came out as an egyptian

yeah he was the

and then when they lost peter

eric carr came in as the fox

yeah so when they decided to do the reunion they get a

saint peter back once they start leaving

again in the exact same order

ace that first and then peter

the exact same thing they go fuck it

let’s not start any new

characters let’s keep the old characters with just have

different dudes playing

so gene was always like

gene was always like no drugs no alcohol no no nothing

was paul stanley a partier

no not both of them so both of them didn’t

party but the

other dude a

lot yes ace

freely party like a

motherfucker so

did peter chris

right yeah massive yeah

peter chris i

think was an alcoholic and

ace had a coke problem

shazam son yeah

you can’t play guitar like that

unless you do a little coke exactly

exactly i watched

gene simmons family

jewels the new

season last night wow

they got a new

skunk for his hair

you have to see his head

they got a new

skunk he’s got like two inches it’s a little longer

it’s a little tighter

he’s always had the goopies have

gene simmons will

never be hosting a show

about hurricanes

the crazy thing to is um

that’s not a motorcycle helmet

also they know kiss knows

i’m not the

biggest kiss fan on the planet and so are you

but kiss knows that

you know what

most of the people now that are getting into kiss

they won’t even know that that’s not

ace freely and

the cat the fucking

spaceman that’s more important than

their actual fucking names like

that well it is as long as they can reproduce the songs

you just can’t have the songs that a sings

cause ace had a very distinctive voice

yeah i liked his

voice man i like

these feelings

and peter had a

great voice too

but both of

them can sing eric singer is a really good singer

and he’s really good at imitating

peter chris

he really is he actually does

sound like him

that song two thousand man

fuck yeah fuck yeah dynasty nineteen

seventy nine

son side two

track two right

after i was made for loving powerful

that’s another

i was made for love

ace didn’t even

ace didn’t even

write that song the producer

wrote that one

or so that was a

cover two thousand man’s an actual old

cover i love i was made for loving you i was like

give me some i was made for loving you fine

oh shit find that shit

someone remixed

i was made for loving you into a fucking

house song it

sounds awesome

really big techno

oh my god what

a great idea

what a great idea

that’s a jam

that was a disco song that’s why

on disco but it was good that

was good disco

just let him know we’re in the fire and then there was

heavens on fire everybody

that’s live i was like

yeah we don’t want to go live it’s gonna

sound like shit

can’t be live son yeah go with a

video if you go youtube there’s a video

disco fucking rocket fuck yeah

how many guys were blowing him

while he was singing this

was that how many guys were blowing him

while he was singing this

that’s a that’s a you don’t want to go there

you don’t want to start going there

i think but without

going further i think that’s the reason why

paul and jean were such a great team

i think it’s because of that

really because of what

the dudes from guns n roses accused homeboy

you guys no one knows what the fuck we’re talking about

dude from guns n roses accused him of what love

goddamn you’re high

we can’t even we can’t even go there i can’t go there

okay all right sorry

anyway i’m a big kiss fan what okay

no need to disparage them yes

paul stanley is

one of my gods for sure

and by the way

ace freely is

clean and sobered up

really yeah

if paul stanley

was gay i would love him even more

who cares yeah

i hope you got some good i love rob howford

i love rob how dude from

queen was fucking freddie

murky was awesome

yeah love him too

jeff tate awesome i love

jeff to the

east east what

about clay you

can go there clay

can i don’t like

no ricky martin

i don’t like him to down nah

what about other gay singers

milton elton john’s a bad

motherfucker elton john’s a bad

motherfucker come

on elton john’s a bad


what’s that one tiny dancer come on come on come on

the greatest

awesome man

i don’t care if he’s george michael yeah

you know what freedom freedom by george michael oh shit

parts to that

song there’s four different parts it’s not just

verse and chorus

it’s verse fucking

secondary verse

pre chorus and chorus

four different parts and they’re all awesome and the

video with all those hot

models all the hot

models are singing it

and dancing along

as long as he

doesn’t look at

me in the eye when he sings that i’ll go to a concert

i want him to look me in the eye

what if he looked you

right in the eyes he’s sagging got a

spell on me that

would be different i

would have to

look away i

like to see if it’s like joey diaz’s joke

george michael

could put a

spell on me he pulls

a diamond encrusted dick

starts hypnotizing

though dude if you’re

going to go see george michael he’s playing an

after parties playing dana

whites fucking

party whatever and he

starts singing and looking

would you directly in the eye

would you kind of like

start texting and here we go

i might play facebook

i might try to do what joey dears

would do blue ball

i might wink at them

again for sucking dick in the bathroom something

because he got arrested

again lately yeah he’s losing the toilet bowl

to look up at the guys that’s got to be the only

thing that turns them on at this point

that’s a secret shit he wants to see

straight dudes dicks in toilet bowls oh yeah

remake the video

and make it just straight gay just be real

in this next

album i just want to come

out real why

this is perfect make it real

because this isn’t shit

he’s good at this

i’m just surprised my dad’s gaydar

did not work as a

child because he bought this like cd for my birthday

his gaydar was not not on

maybe his gaydar

was dead on and he thought that you were gay

and trying to

test you out

how funny is that how funny was

kelly cursed a joke

ricky martin

because she had already formed

yeah it’s michael yeah

we haven’t even got to the good part man

after this

i like george

mike but this shit is fuck this is good

music there’s no argument this is good

news guys are at home saying

these fucking guys are out of their minds

nah this is the shit that y’all

you know dudes that are really into just heavy

music like rural

grindcore death metal

they would never like something like this i

understand that

keep it playing in the background

guys fuck it just give us a little background ambience

this is a good fucking jam

yeah i like some

fruity shit man i do i like a lot of fruity shit

you like mika i like that billionaire song i like

i like that katy perry song

california girls

that’s some fruity shit cal the

i like that song

but the fact that i would like it

hey you like pop

music you like some

you know i don’t like a lot pop

music’s good because it gets

once it gets in your head it’s good then eminem dies

quickly that eminem song with rihanna

i just like listening to her saying

i just like

her parts i love his parts are like it’s too much

fucking violent her

parts don’t

make any goddamn

sense i love it when you lie

who the fuck loves it when you lie

everyone hates that shit i don’t get the

lyrics i don’t care what

she’s saying

i just love her voice

i just love

those voices her

voice is awesome

rihanna is definitely one of my

souls i feel

like rihanna

kicks there’s something just a terrible

thing to say there’s something

extra sexy about her

and there’s something

extra attractive

about her that she got her ass kicked by that dude

i don’t know why i don’t

know there’s something

about her that like she’s been through some shit

now i can understand this girl’s pain this is legit

okay this girl’s crying she is crying a man she

loved beat the fuck out of her and the whole

world knows about it

she’s allowed to be in pain

she’s allowed to be twisted

she’s allowed to cry and you know like well that’s

legit it’s like when

tupac went to jail

he came out better than ever

cracking funny

the same day drop a

tupac she can

sing painful songs better than anybody

i didn’t know she was

she got beat

up how sad is i didn’t know she was or he was how

about that when i

first heard i’m

before it was huge i don’t even like r and b when i

heard that song

i knew it was

gonna be fucking

huge i’m like that whoever the fuck that is

that is a great song and then it blew the fuck up

because basically you pull the

vocals out of umbrella

that could be a depeche

mode song that could be

anything it’s alternative music

with an r and

b chick over

with a hip hop drum beat

it’s fucking perfect

music man doesn’t even make any sense un

fucking believe it

doesn’t make any

sense how much of impact just a bunch of his

own frequencies people talking and you know

your frequency

and the songs

frequency does it resonate with

yours that’s all it’s real simple science it’s amazing

though it’s amazing that something like that is real

you know that

people don’t respect it i mean when you get really

baked and you

start thinking

about music

people don’t

smoke pot they don’t even know what

music sounds like

you don’t there’s

no way you really

don’t you actually don’t you’re missing like

about 30 of it

you’re missing some extra

layers that you

wouldn’t even see or hear

try listening to

seal when you’re baked seal

that song was

by a rose that

was a big seal fan back in the day listen to that shit

with some headphones on when you’re baked

there’s like

symbols out here you know i’m saying

he’s like the

sound so well engineered and crafted

you know it all flows together

that dude was a bad


he was a bad


there was some

other shit that i didn’t like admitted to people

that i like sealed

i like seal

second album was the first two

albums were good man

crazy was on the first album oh he was great

and that second

album man they had like six

seven really good songs on that thing quality shit

i tell you what i listened to yesterday the

first time unbelievable shot day

yeah oh classic oh the

first two albums and then the one she did for the

movie when the guy bought the million dollars

the guy gave

that make more than

a million dollars when she’s rolling around the money

what’s that song

gave you love

i don’t remember that was a bad


i love chicks

oh me chicks singing

my favorite my favorite

chick to listen to my favorite

chick all time

sarah mclaughlin she just

crushes everybody man she does but smash

her elsewhere

forget about show a crow has a different element

yeah sure cause

i love pain

oh yeah you

were fumbling towards ecstasy

by sarah mclaughlin get that


the whole album

the whole fucking hour

crimes of passion by pat benatar the ones

deeper than

a motherfucker

pat better time

the motherfucker

cries of passion

her husband was fucking killing that guitar and

crimes of passion

it’s a great jam cheryl crow

and kid rock

that fucking song yeah

that song we did

again what is that

woke up one

night in my

motel yeah what is it

what is the name of that song

it’s her voice in that

in that song her

voice in that song is so good

what about that fucking picture

picture from

missing persons

man remember

terry bozio remember

give me her voice

that play that

that kid rock

and show walking in la i just want to hear

her part of it

why you keep going live son

life goes live very very very close

live are the first ones my favorite singer in the

whole world the hot

sexy talented

i like her way less because of that interview that

introduction rather yeah

this is annoying check

who said that it looked like pamela anderson

oh that’s who it is

the camera thing again last time so people can watch

like how you that was a smart thing you did

his part is cool because i like some country

music and i think this is kind of interesting

but man when that bitch starts singing

it makes me want to curl up in a

field position take a nap

i want to go back to the womb

it just makes me like

and he sounds like a country rockstar yeah for years

he does a lot of songs like that

last album was whole all country really

he’s a bad motherfucker

i like his shit man i like his country music

but here’s here’s what gets you

come on cheryl

is this an original song or a cover

i think it’s an original song but i don’t know

i could be wrong could be some shit from the 40s yeah

is it kid rock reddit

did he really i believe sir

powerful kid rock

here it comes

i love her voice

we’re watching chick singers

we got a sobs

for show crow

there’s a lot of pissed off people out there right now

what the fuck happened

they grow tits

we gotta take it back to

you know what

we need to balance it you need to put the new slayer

just for like two bars

it’s not a good version of it anyway man the best

versions of

studio you need to put angel of death on really

quick her fucking voice is so awesome

no we’re done

oh it’s 420 yeah

get out of here best time to end 420

we’re sorry we subject you to that music but we

smoke marijuana it sounded really awesome to us

and we thought it would have been a fun thing to do i

still love cheryl crows music

sorry about that fuck all you

carcass and but i like nas too son

and much respect to the flashlight

for lesslight com or go to jay’s website and

click on flashlight for 2 if you get 15

much respect to eddie bravo jujitsu master

music producer you can catch him eddie bravo on

twister at eddie bravo what much respect to mad

on twister what what did you say it’s quite a

on twitter that’s a twister

twister that’s his nickname is the twister

eddie bravo on twitter and

you find my myspace you still rocking myspace

i go there once every ten days

i got friends you know

so many profiles have been deleted

so my top friends are like dudes i don’t even know and

they’re like damn you’re

you got me on your top friends list that’s

cool i gave up

this is certain

trends you just feel compelled to follow in

abandoning myspace

even though it helped me

quite a bit

soon as jordy

fox left our pal jordy who worked over there as soon

as jordy left i’m like alright i’m done well i send

people that want to listen to my

music my music

videos are up

there they’re not on facebook so if you want to

check out my music

myspace com

the twister why

don’t you have a section of your website that’s just

it’s about to we’re

about to do it’s

about to launch

new websites

about to drop

in about a week or two got the new website going up

meanwhile it’s

still gonna be 10 planet jj com so it’s all good

you will see joey diaz with me this saturday

night at the canyon club

rocket in the canyon club in

agora hills if you’ve

never been there it’s an old school

rock and roll barn

out in the middle of fucking agora it’s the shit ted

nugets there next week i’m very

disappointed i’m

gonna miss uncle ted

i would love to

watch that but

it’s going to be

me and joey and we’re

going to be there this saturday night so

come on down

and thank you for all the birthday wishes

and thanks for

tuning into the podcast

every week and thanks for

tuning to this one our

extra special

happy birthday day podcast i hope you

enjoyed it happy

sorry we made you listen to

cheryl pro but

really like it all right

later bitches

later see you guys next week i love you red band

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