The Joe Rogan Experience #49 - Duncan Trussell

can you turn it unplug it or a desert yeah

unplug it i should huh yes

it’s kind of nice

this is the early

menu screen i guess

the you stream users are seeing us live right now

that’s good

so hi duncan hi

yeah cause i turned out that you guys were

going live so

but extra bonus

footage ladies and gentlemen

this is how fucking disorganized this bitch is

this is how we roll all

right three disorganized

like a motherfucker one

your cell phone your wallet

your time your ideas no barcode no party no idea

no beers your bank card your license your thoughts

your fears no sim card no disco no photo

not here your blood your sweat

your passions your regrets

your profits your time off your fashions your sex

your pills your grass your tits your ass

your laughs your balls we learned

we want your soul wow

three two one yours sads your fears

size four years

your digits your plans your number your eyes

your schedule

your details your life

show us your children your photos your home

here take credit take insurance take a loan

get a job get a pension get a haircut

get a suit play the lottery

play football play the field

score some tune we’ll show you we’ll show you

three two one go go

your thoughts your emotions your love

your dreams your checkbook your essence your sweat

your screams your security your society

your innocence your society your sloth

your place your distance your space

go back to bed america your government is in control

again here watch this shut up

you are free

to do as we tell you you are free to do as we tell you

comfort of your sofa here’s popcorn here’s magazines

here’s milkshake here’s blue jeans here’s padded

bars here’s armpit

here’s football shirt here’s baseball cap here’s long

culture here’s video game here’s koala

here’s timberley here’s filter tips here’s collagen

here’s all mighty here’s plastic

we want your soul your soul your soul

go back to bed america your government is in control

again here here’s american gladiators

watch this shut up

go back to bed america

here’s american gladiators

here is fifty six channels of it

watch these pituary retards bang their fucking

skulls together

and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom

here you go america

you are free to do as we tell you you are free to do

as we tell you

we want your soul

we want your soul

wait come on no no no

wait you run no one know

no dogs no games no lefties

no loonies no opinions no way no fingers

here’s popcorn here’s magazine here’s milkshake here’s

very very long in summer shows third

wow pretty intense right that’s good shit

that’s adam freeland

and the song is we want your soul

fuck that’s

apocalyptic man that song scares the shit out of me

that’s a brilliant song man that’s google

that thing scared the fuck out of me

they definitely summed it all up

dude it was brilliant it was brilliant

that was brilliant

the funny thing

about it is though

like if there was a way to authentically sell your soul

there wouldn’t have to be any

trickery involved in that like people

would just do it

some people would

definitely do it

well there’s people out there called bug chasers

that are gay guys that are trying to get hiv trying to

yeah i know they’re trying to find sick guys to bang

them in the ass yeah they have bug chaser parties what

the fuck he just told me

about this last time

i hung out with him it’s real shit man it’s real shit

well it’s because apparently

if you’re gay

and you are having unprotected sex

then there’s this always this paranoia

it’s kind of

floating around you that

you might have aids because

isn’t it i don’t know

how it works but when you get aids

doesn’t it take

some time to show up or something like sometimes

it doesn’t yeah

it’s a very very complicated

virus it’s very controversial

you know i’ve never

heard there’s no

major virus that i’ve ever

heard anybody say is fake

except for aids

have you ever

heard them no one’s ever said that you know

i mean have you ever

heard like that gonorrhea is fake you ever heard that

the aids is the only one that ever

heard like this is not a real thing

yeah that’s

right you can’t get aids with a

flashlight and it’s a

tricky well it’s a

tricky one because yeah we’re sponsored by the

flashlight fuck a

flashlight instead of letting

people with aids fuck you so you can get

a bug that’s

ridiculous but like

the idea is that you have hiv

first and that hiv

causes aids

right that’s the

that’s what they’re saying yes

so it’s but how come it’s not

like one thing

why isn’t it like

you know you get

boom you get

you know syphilis there it is they’re

syphilis yeah

why is it this tricky

thing where

you know you

you know you’re sick

oh no you know i’m saying

i get hiv and then hiv becomes aids like aren’t you

dying of hiv then like what do you i don’t

know why they do they describe it in two ways there’s a

thing that i saw

how it there’s different ways to define

whether you have aids because there’s a certain

isn’t it like the

idea what aids means is your immune

system is broken down right

does in that

is that possible that you can get that from

both from different things

so it’s like what they’re saying is hiv

causes aids but it’s not the only

cause of aids is that what they’re saying

well i mean

maybe some other immune

system breakdown type shit like there’s

other people that

argue for like there’s a guy named

god what the fuck is his name

he’s a well i’ll look it up real quick

but peter duesberg

peter duesberg and

he seems to be like this like really credible biologist

from the university of

california berkeley

yeah and he’s got this

crazy theory that aids isn’t real

and that what it is is a conglomeration of a

bunch of other

diseases and

apparently he’s been totally discredited and

all the mainstream scientific

studies have

pointed to know there is a very real

connection between

hiv and aids

very irresponsible what he’s doing

but this guy’s

still doing it like he’s

still saying it and he’s got like all these

papers that he’s written on it it’s like it’s such a

weird fucking

you know that’s a

tricky ass topic

it sure is and it’s

tricky to cut through the

you know all the information sources you have

about it you have to

think okay are

these information sources

that came from

pharmaceutical companies manufacturing

drugs which

does happen

oh hell yeah i just read this

thing that there is a

famous book by an advertiser

i can’t remember his name but it’s supposedly like

one of the old

bibles of advertising and he

he said that rather than just selling a product

don’t be ridiculous what you

should do is

create the demand first and then

create demand for something that doesn’t exist yet

create a mythology around the thing you’re selling so

i’m kind of describing it in a clumsy way but

so what he did is he started advertising in papers

pianos no not pianos he started in papers

putting articles

about how it’s popular right now for families to

be learning

music and taking music lessons in their living rooms

but he ran a piano company

so the idea was

instead of just selling pianos flat out

he created this new thing in society in the in the

zeitgeist which is that

you know a really good family does have a

piano in their living room

and so then

people naturally decided to start buying the

piano so in the same way

with aids or with

swine flu or with

you know god it’s so funny to watch like the

pharmaceutical commercials because it’ll be like

some problem you’ve

never heard of in your fucking life like

do you have minor

ankle inflammation

or one thing i saw was like

do you have particularly

heavy bleeding on the

thirty first month of your menstruation cycle

you might be a double heavy

bleeder you know

so they come up with this thing in all of

history you’ve never heard of a double

heavy bleeder

but like they just invent this

thing to start selling the drug and so you know

i don’t know you’re probably not a hypochondriac

i’m a bit of a hypochondriac so

think if like

you’re a woman and you have noticed like

a little more flow than normal you’re like i

might be a double heavy

bleeder that’s a real

quote you’re being serious yes sir wait a minute

i thought you were just joking

about the piano

thing no about the double heavy

bleeder thing no

that’s not the

scientific name

for it they have a different name for it but it is

you fuckhead

double heavy

bleeder that is the

worst name for any

but it is like

triple heavy flow

it’s got a weird name

for it that’s so

ridiculous but yeah so aids you

know this information or getting is this coming from

pharmaceutical companies selling bullshit

medicine or is it coming from actual scientists who

weren’t hired by the

pharmaceutical companies to

prove that their

medicine is

necessary it’s confusing

do you think there’s that much corruption

that they really get a chance to influence

studies and findings

well you really

think there’s that much corruption

i think it’s cynical to say that when you look

it’s an interesting idea though

right like how

much corruption is there really we know there’s

definitely some corruption

right well they

saved us from swine flu

remember how bad that was

that’s such an industry man that’s the

tricky thing is people don’t

understand like there

are billions of dollars to be made

and so the idea that someone

would invent a disease no well that’s

ridiculous they’re not

gonna invent

a disease but

they might make a much

bigger deal out of something that really needs to be

it’s like all of a

sudden it was a

particular type of flu

it was connected to a pig

and some people died from it like it’s a

strong flu but there’s

strong flus

every fucking year

people die from the flu

every year flus are terrible

yeah but it’s a

that’s the thing that’s

you know they all come from livestock

no i did not all of them but

a lot of them come from birds and pigs and like that’s

where they come

from they come from they come from our farm animals man

fucking living together in in terrible

conditions yeah

that’s the i

might be making that up

no i think that’s what it is because i mean if you

look at some of the

video of slaughterhouses

or like the really bad cattle farms that’s the

ten circle of

hell there man so it’s so strange how we’re

evolving as a being

but so we have

disconnected our own personal

lives from the murder of animals for food like the

connection between eating animals and having food

totally completely removed

it like i know so many people that love cheeseburgers

but you say hey you

wanna go hunting

and they’ll

go you like oh fuck that what are

you a redneck

yeah what are you

going to do you’re

going to kill an animal like oh my god i

never do that you know yeah

they’ll look

at you like

you’re a piece of shit yeah

but they’ll have

bacon on the cheeseburger

i love bacon

it’s a double murder sandwich no it’s

cow and pig

slaughtered if you’re a

by the way if

you are like if you run into someone who’s a hunter

the negative stigma attached to being a hunter

is pretty intense it’s like oh really

jethro do you go out there and hunt

deer out in the forest you fucking

barbaric man

and meanwhile you’re

stuffing your face full of mystery meat from wag wah

you have no

idea what the fuck it is

mafia meat yeah

burger king meat

yeah it’s just

it is a very curious

thing and also

the other thing of it and you know

i really have got terrence mckenna

in the brain

right now cause i’ve been reading food

of the gods fuck man

incredible stuff

incredible stuff

ideas behind it so fascinating oh

the idea the big one is the mushroom

the stoned ape theory yeah for the

folks who haven’t heard us

i think we’ve talked

about this before but

terrence mckenna’s theory was that

the reason why the

human brain size

doubled over a period of two million years

it’s like one

of the biggest mysteries in the entire fossil record

and he equates it to the time

where the climate changed

and rainforest receded into

grasslands and

these monkeys

climbed down from trees

and started

experimenting with new food sources

and they would flip over cow patties to find

like bugs and beetles and shit like they do that today

and when they saw mushrooms growing on the cow patties

certain groups of

these monkeys

started eating

these mushrooms

and two things happened one it increased

their visual

acuity and made them be able to see much better

and then the other

thing that happened is it made them horny

so here you have

these better hunters

cause they can see

things better

probably they can

throw things and they’re more accurate

and then they’re

horny so they’re gonna fuck

and then of course

if they’re eating

plates of these fucking

things they’re gonna have



and if you’re a

monkey maybe and if you have


experiences every day

maybe it’s just like it’s like a forced fed

you know evolution

thing well can i i

mean it’s a crazy idea

so and he has a very

scientific mind and i

think he i mean he hated mentioning the idea of

well i don’t

think he hated

mentioning it but if you look at his live

lectures he always

like at one

point he said he

would much rather

look at what happened to

him when he was in the amazon and figured out the thing

about the e ching

i don’t know the

exact quote but he said

he would much rather be able to call it

psychosis than

channeling because he was so anti the new age

stuff and the new

age movement but

and we kind of talked

about this the last time i was on here and i don’t

think we ever

answered it

which is the question is

when you’re having a


experience are you

just seeing a hallucination

or are you tuning in with some higher

vibratory higher intelligence some higher force

mckenna talked

about extraterrestrials and

if you’ve ever been on a

psychedelic and

sometimes you do

experience something that you

would think is


so this is where it gets weird

you know how people say

aliens like landed some ship and

and dabbled with the dna of the apes and that’s what

caused the super evolution

what if it wasn’t

dabbling with the dna the aliens did

what if it was

the communication like mckenna said

was coming through the mushroom

the way they were communicating with

these apes that

were eating them was like oh wait hold on

we’ve got some potential here

these they have

brains that

could develop

their kind of

tuning into us a little bit

let’s start feeding them some information

it’s like imagine if some primitive species on some

other planet

found a transistor

radio and they

could kind of in some way

understand the communication coming from it they were

still super primitive but there’s some way

maybe there was a video

thing on it and you

could show them how to make a fire like

just to hit flint together you can make a fire

if you had the intention of

speeding up

their evolution

maybe it’s the same

thing only happened organically you know yeah

i would think the same i

would think that

more than the

other way i

would definitely

think that they

would be much more willing to

travel that way than by ships

why do we think that

if we figure out eventually that

we are all one thing

you know if we figure

out eventually that all life in the air and space and

everything combined is all really connected and some

sort of a strange way that we don’t totally

understand but there’s some sort of a

connection well then

these little like

these spores you know

these spores are all like

they can go in a vacuum in

space they can

travel in extreme cold and extreme heat

they can absorb radiation and not get damaged

and they can

travel from

other planets

a meteor hits

a chunk of this planet can get

knocked off

and it gets sent flying into

space and it lands on another planet

and those spores all of a sudden

that were in this rock

get to give

birth on this planet and just communicate

with all the animals that are here

that’s it that’s the idea that’s the idea yeah

that there are

transmission devices of

some higher intelligence and they’re not causing your

i just am so over that

notion that

hallucinating or

being stoned is an artificial experience

you know like

because i realized like i was really high the

other day and i was walking down the street

and i was like man this is

fucking beautiful this is a beautiful day i feel great

and then another part of my brain

snuck in and was like

yeah but you’re

stoned you’re

stoned this isn’t real happiness

real happiness can only come

without the

influence of a drug

and that is such

fucking conditioning i realized oh that’s conditioning

this is a valid perfectly normal

good experience yes yeah

absolutely and why why is

why is it a good

experience i

think one of the reasons is because your body is

tuning into this plant

i think marijuana and as

does psilocybin has a

plant intelligence

and i think when you absorb

it into your body it gives you something different

it’s not just you

because you you

what you are flat all

right you’re a receiver

and when you put

things into your body

there are certain

things that

you put into your body that have a very extreme result

they bring about

a very extreme condition mushrooms are one of them

marijuana’s one of them

we have to assume that

it’s not just

oh you’re just

tweaking your

brain you’re just

screwing with your chemicals

maybe or maybe you’re

tuning into another

frequency maybe

allowing eating

these mushrooms eating

marijuana all this different shit that you do peyote

maybe it allows you

to just tune in

to their frequency yeah and

maybe it’s not just

a real experience

maybe it’s a better

more advanced

experience than whatever the normal non

stone state of being is

i was just talking sometimes but sometimes not

i mean when you

smoke like heavy

like og kush type weed

and it turns you into a moron

that stuff’s not that good for the cause

but if you follow that

if you follow

excuses you remember hold on a

second though

do you remember the time we were all in houston

yes and we smoke joey’s weed

yeah and joey

diaz smokes atv

now but back then

he was smoking the deep indica

this was 400

pound joey this was

he would go with the

og cush dog

this is the toilet

that’s all i roll with

and you we smoked it we were all in the car we

smoke joey’s weed and

when we when we got to the

hotel room we were all

standing in the lobby

going what the fuck

can can i do

you remember what happened before we got to the

hotel room no because it’s

the only time that’s ever happened in my life

we went up train tracks

do you remember that we were driving on

train tracks

do you remember that oh yeah

you were on the very

right and you were on the

train track lane

like oh yeah it was very confusing

yeah yeah we were fucking

thank god i was sober

while i was driving

oh yeah no i know but like

just a weird wrong turn

the real problem with that weed is that

it fucking crushes your memory

like you don’t remember what you were talking

about five seconds ago

like we were

standing there just be dazzled

going what the fuck man

what’s wrong

and then somebody said it i don’t know who said it

we smoke joey’s weed

and then we’re like oh

shit yeah i know

that stuff is narcotic that shit is cough

syrup it is narcotic

it is and cough

syrup it puts

you in this kind it feels like you’re taking like

they got that shake

yeah it’s not good

it’s for people in like extreme pain i

guess it’s probably really good

but some of it is not good and you

never know what the fuck you’re

gonna get man

you know that’s the thing

unless you’re you’re

going to a dispensary

unless you’re like

you know talking to the

people that work there that are professional stoners

you know you

never know what the hell you’re

gonna get if you’re just buying weed from some dude

you don’t know you got a goddamn

crapshoot in your hands you can get that coma weed yep

not to mention

i mean well i

guess it’s true with all weed but it’s like

where did it fucking come from

like i wish you

could just see with

every weed you

could just rewind and watch

from inception to like

making it into your pocket because it’s such a

funny journey that

stuff has to take marijuana is a fascinating plant

and what’s more fascinating the fact that it’s illegal

i mean that’s of course

fascinating but what’s really fascinating is that it’s

one of the most useful

plants in the

world and it’s illegal

just forget

about the psychoactive effects

just for nutrition

and for use to make

a far superior paper

far superior cloth

and it’s illegal to grow it

it’s illegal

to grow even the shit that is non psychoactive

yeah you can’t even grow

hemp like the

stuff that can’t get

you high at all you can’t grow that but what but you

think that hemp

you can grow in canada and canada’s not like it’s going

crazy everyone’s come you know making a shitload of

money on hemp you know

wouldn’t it be like

i mean couldn’t we

judge what hemp

growing you know

financial shit

would be by canada yeah but it’s not

based on but it’s not

based on logic

that’s the whole

thing it’s like

the moment you think that

he makes a good

point i mean you know it’s not like they’re fucking you

never like middle eastern

oil barons shit

look at the hemp

like all bitches

and may box and shit and diamonds

this is the hemp empire bitches

this is how we roll i’ve

never had hemp

socks not that good and cotton

way better is it really yeah

hemp those are

great did you give

a chick a hemp brawl she’s

gonna have bloody nipples at the end she’s gonna have

stinky feet

hemp bras with

stinky feet

if you found out a girl with a hat

bra you’d be like how bad your feet

smell a great candle

your feet smell you

stinky little

bitch like the best

candle fucking hippie

bitch the best candle

collection ever though yeah with your flower

paint on your face

oh man what is that

are the dragonfly

on the spine

oh that’ll help girl

why do your feet stink

wasn’t it wait

wasn’t that a donovan song why do your feet

stink him girl

could you imagine if you were living in the 60s

when people just discovered like drugs and marijuana

and the whole

culture completely

shifted can you imagine being a part of that time

you know we

kind of accept the fact that lsd’s been around

and we were in high

school we all

knew some guy fucked up it took too much lsd

now imagine in the 50s man from the 50s to the 60s

what a giant

transition that

was just right

after the 40s

right after that

sweet hoffman made that

wonderful experiment in the

laboratory and it

exploded into

culture and then

before the cia

could start

trying to beat it back into the bottle like oh fuck we

gotta get this shit back in there people

growing beards

nobody wants to fight

but before that

could happen when it was just billowing out

and just ginsburg was giving

speeches in

front of just

thousands and

thousands of people not justin bieber singing

about bullshit

but some bearded gay dude reading poetry in front of

thousands and

thousands and thousands of people on acid and timothy

leary doing


with romdas and it was just this incredible moment

and then the fucking cia got involved

and the government got involved and all of a sudden

that’s when they

started pumping shit into the zeitgeist

where it’s like

oh yeah smoking pot huh makes you lazy

lsd will drive you insane

mushrooms that’s what communists eat

who knows what it all is but

and so is you saying they did this through

what newspaper

article through the reagan administration

look at what the reagans did now it’s 10 years

after it was like

a it took some time but

this is your brain

this is your

brain on drugs it’s like oh really so you

think that like the

sweeping act of the 1970s


when they made

everything whatever the act was that made

lsd mushrooms made all that

stuff schedule one so

clearly that was because they saw there was a big

culture shift that was a culture

shift decision

right absolutely

yeah because you can’t

you cannot successfully

pull off the

level of conditioning that is

omnipresent in this country or in any tyranny

if people are taking


where they’re communicating with

some higher intelligence whatever you want to call it

plugging into the plenum

or even accelerating your mind to a higher

frequency that’s the

other argument that

maybe it’s not you’re not taking in an alien

just pumping your own brain up like it’s like taking

caffeine does that give you a

superintelligence no it just

makes you accelerate it makes you more you know

you have more you know you get amped up

if you’re honest i

could be that

imagine taking

a powerful psychedelic

and sitting down on your

couch to watch your

nightly fox news

and while on a psychedelic

you see a fox news reporter talk

about someone who won the medal of honor

and the fox news reporter says

he died fighting for our freedoms in afghanistan

now maybe if

you’re just some deluded alcoholic redneck in a

trailer and somebody says somebody died

fighting for our freedoms already freedom is a very

mysterious word

but someone’s

fighting for our freedoms in afghanistan

maybe you can hear that and

be like god damn it i don’t know how our freedom got to

afghanistan but someone needs to protect it over there

but if you’re on a


and you hear someone say that

you’re gonna be like

wait hold on

what the fuck is freedom

what is freedom is that something you can even really

fight for and

afghanistan wait

terrorists are

supposed to be in afghanistan you mean that’s the only

place you can plan terrorist attacks is in

the rugged country of afghanistan

you can’t do that in

china japan

europe france any

place where there’s a

hotel room with an internet connection

are you serious that we have to be over there

fighting some

cobra commander when in any part of the grid you can

just a 12 year

old with some fucking matches can do some pretty

heavy damage to the

infrastructure man

are you seriously

expecting me to believe that soldiers are somehow

in afghanistan

fighting offs

some kind of imminent threat that isn’t anywhere else

cause if i was a terrorist

and there were a shitload of american trained

death machines in my country

and i wanted to plan a terrorist

attack without getting interrupted by machine gun fire

i’d probably just

head somewhere else

just get on a bus and

go somewhere

where i’m not

gonna get shot at

while i plan my nuclear attack on the new york

subway system

you’re so emotional right now

i’m sorry i’m

sarah palin gave a speech

sarah palin

gave a speech

recently and in the

speech she was talking

about pat tillman

because she was like in pat tillman’s town

she was talking

about pat tillman

sacrificing his life

for our freedom

and you know and she actually

quoted that in a

speech and it’s like

it’s really well done two

things one that pat tillman was extremely

disenchanted with the military once he got in it

and realize how disorganized it was how fucking chaotic

and fucked up it was to the

point where

some people

on the internet speculated that they even

killed them on purpose because he was talking too much

you know that’s probably wacko talk but it’s just

the fact that he was very

vocal about it

and the second

thing being he was killed by friendly fire

he was not killed defending the

enemy and they

tried to lie

about it and they

tried to lie

about it for a long time

and it eventually

got out that he was killed by friendly fire but they

tried to make

it seem like he died in this heroic attack

you know he was killed by an american and a

cluster fight

for freedom

it’s a cluster fuck man

these poor fucking kids man yes you imagine

being eighteen nineteen

being talked into doing this shit for a bunch of

blood thirsty

motherfuckers who just

trying to get whatever they’re trying to get over there

whatever the fuck it is whether it’s lithium

whether it’s

minerals in the mountains that they use to make cell

phones whether it’s 90

plus of the

world’s opium supply

ninety fucking percent

i mean god damn it heroin is

absolutely addictive okay yeah people who try heroin

get hooked heroin

is everywhere

okay so you need to sell it someone selling it

who’s selling it

i don’t know but 90

of it comes from this one

place where we have to be to save our freedoms

like really what the fuck man yeah what the fuck

and that’s the

thing man and that’s what’s so frustrating and

here’s the thing

i just want to say this

you you can’t criticize it

because if you criticize it

you’re a shithead you don’t

appreciate the

troops and what

they’re doing for you and that’s not the case at all

i just don’t like

the idea of

these fucking people

leading us in any direction

where you need to sacrifice your life

i don’t believe it

i don’t believe them

every time i meet anyone who’s been in the military

they’re authentically

fucking good people

are you very

i have yet to run it

you know why because

they’re warriors and warriors have discipline and the

things that they go through

i feel the same way

most military guys that i know are cool as fuck

you know because

first of all

they get broken down in

training you go through

once you go through all the fucking physical

rigors of basic training

that’s brutal to the

average person and then you become a part of a group

that has a code

you feel honored to be there and it

elevates you as a

human being

it elevates them together

you know it removes a lot of your ego

you know there’s a lot of like

the regimen and the discipline they

develop they can

apply that to the rest of

their life like very easy

that is why

it becomes incredibly infuriating

when you realize that they’re being used

against you’re getting

dropped in a meat

grinder for no reason

for no fucking reason

dropping like some of the coolest

most fascinating

bravest hero

people in a fucking meat

grinders of the military industrial complex

sustain itself on

their blood

right when there’s been

so many fucking

lines i mean the more you look it up the more

they mean go go into

any of the stories

on the weapons of mass destruction before we invaded

and compare them to what we

actually know that they really knew when they said that

it’s like they did it on purpose

they wanted to get in there for whatever fucking reason

and if it’s some crazy

the world is

gonna end if

we don’t stop this but we can’t tell you shit

i would love to believe you

i would love to i

would love to believe that the reason why

you’re not telling us exactly what the fuck is going on

is because you’re really protecting us from some

insanely evil

thing that if we knew

about it society

would collapse but our

strong brave

powerful leaders

are going to

guide us without our knowledge i

would love to believe you

if you weren’t all full of shit if

you weren’t all getting busted left and right

cheating on your

wives stealing

money jerking off on

babies at the bohemian grove

while you worship the

algod moloch

see that too

having gay sex i mean how many of

these fucking guys

in the bush administration were gay how many of them

there was a

ton of them

you know how you know

because there was a guy was an embedded reporter

named jeff gannon

jeff gannon ran a website that was all

dedicated to

gay like military men

it was like military studs

would like they’d have dog tags on a little

towel over their cock

and it was like a gay

escort service and this fucking guy was running it

and he was an embedded

reporter he was in the

white house

throwing all

these lob questions at the

the president like

when are these democrats

going to come to

their senses sir

like what kind of a fucking question is that

you know like

that kind of shit meanwhile she’s fucking cock

sleep in the

white house

slept in the fucking

white house

on at least one occasion sure

like what the fuck man but it’s not i mean it’s

the funny thing

about it is what

the only thing that’s surprising about it

or rather it becomes extremely

surprising according to how conditioned you are

and one of the

first things you

have to realize in any country that you’re living in

is there some

percentage of your mind is filled with information

that has been

placed there intentionally to make you a good

citizen you are conditioned

i just saw a

great national geographic

documentary on

north korea

and everyone

should watch that it’s on netflix instant if you

watch it and the reason you

should watch it

is because you get a very extreme case of conditioning

in the way these people act and

it’s basically the way they got in there is they follow

a doctor was

removing cataracts

of north koreans and

they told them that

the camera crew was there just to monitor

what he’s doing they didn’t tell

north korea it was national geographic

they you know at the end of the

thing the people who can see

stand up in this room they’re pulling the bandages off

their eyes and they they can see

and the first

thing they do they don’t

think the doctor that helped them

they stand up there’s a

picture of kim jong

il and they go

oh thank you

great leader

i will work

five times harder in the salt mines for you it’s

i saw them say that it’s true

that’s real

that’s the conditioning

that’s conditioning and if you

think as an american citizen

you don’t have some of that in your fucking brain

you’re out of your mind

you’re conditioned

we all are and because when

you’re growing up that’s what they do what do you do

and it’s also that we

would like to

believe that there is some sort of a higher idea we

would like to believe that america is something that’s

above everything and we are

noble and brave we do do the right

things we are the police

force for the

world because

we are the only good christian nation that

you know it’s here to support the right

values yes yes

we have everyone’s

good in mind that’s the conditioning yeah

i mean but there’s a lot of

pride behind that it’s like

it’s similar

to the idea of being in the military

it’s like you’re a part of something bigger and

greater and more

noble condition so the

whole that’s like military is like the highest

level of that

and then being a

proud citizen

is just was

slightly below that yes and that’s all but it’s also an

ideal i mean

it’s also like it is conditioning but it’s also like

wow wouldn’t it be ideal if

we all did have a

moral code that was like really

responsible and we were really cool to each

other and we were really disciplined and

we did the right

thing and we

did you know i mean

if the codes

you know they

exist on paper

so that they are an

ideal right

so if we’re all

proud of that

ideal and we subscribe to that ideal

that does kind of elevate us

well i think that

i think it’s better

honestly i do

think it’s conditioning but i do think that

framework of conditioning is better than a wild like

free for all the

thing is not that the i mean i

think that if you look at a beehive there’s

conditioning happening in this with hormones from the

queen to run the beehive right

it’s not to say that like

we should allow

society to fragment into like

individual units they’re all

running around

screaming that there’s nothing to believe in it’s just

the idea is that

yeah of course man

the human ideal

the ideal of making sure that you know

if you hear it if you hear

about life liberty

and the pursuit of happiness

if you really

think about that

ideal the pursuit of happiness life

your health and being healthy and being able to

evolve and be

strong liberty

your freedom your ability

to do whatever you want and to do that to pursue

whatever happiness that you want with that liberty

that’s amazing

if this country

really stood up for those

ideals and people were really

fighting for

those ideals

we would be in some kind of like techno utopia

there would be

cordova milk bars and

mescaline cocktails that you

could drink and

perfectly perfectly

engineered pharmaceuticals

to enhance your intelligence because in the

60s they didn’t cut off all research on

psychedelics and

they would have made the leap into really why it

was working and why it helps people who are depressed

why it helps people

who are alcoholics why it helps people who are dying

they wouldn’t have gone

underground and we

would have so much more research

but the very fact that


are illegal marijuana is illegal the very fact that

that we are not allowed to put into our body

anything that we want

shows us that

those ideals that you’re talking

about are not being upheld

but suppressed

right now what’s behind that it means the man man

what is the machine behind it how does it happen

how is it in the same situation

today as it was

in 1970 with all the information that we have

you would think that 40 years

would go by well that’s

ridiculous that’s a long ass time

with all this information that we have

there’s so much work that needs to be cleaned up

there’s so many

assumptions that we had made in the past

about so many different things

in our society that we have found

through the

age of the internet

to be not true

and one of them

is everyone can access marijuana studies now

when i was a kid i thought marijuana gave you

brain damage

i heard all kinds of

crazy shit i thought for sure you

could probably die for marijuana

you could od on it

there was so much


but now we know now it’s all very

clear now it’s

everywhere online

kind of the only way we can

trust the government is if you amend shit

when the shit that

doesn’t make

sense anymore

is inapplicable know

these drug laws that were

put into place when people didn’t have the internet

where you couldn’t go research

all the positive benefits of psilocybin mushrooms

how many people have quit

you know like really like

they’ve had like people that were like lifelong

cigarette smokers

one cigarette you know

they are one mushroom trip rather and they never

smoke a cigarette again

they realize like what the fuck they’re doing to their

body they think

about the whole situation how ridiculous it is

how they get sucked into it and they

never smoke another cigarette ever again

there’s nothing that has that kind of

success rate like ebigaine

that’s another one that’s another

psychedelic that does that

heroin annex

people who get hooked on pills

they go and do it bam they

completely drop

their addiction

have a totally different way of looking at life

well yeah cause it’s a

well who’s stopping it

how does it get stopped it’s a

i mean i think

terrence mckenna

sums it up by talking

about the dominator

culture and the partnership

but it’s got to be

ignorance on

the part of the people that are in the position of

power it must be

ignorance to the

effects of these


because if it wasn’t and they were doing them

if they were doing it they knew how powerful

psychedelics are for elevating your consciousness

if they knew that there’s all this potential

that you could take it in a shamanic fashion

if you do it intelligently

and you do it’s like a massive

vehicle for

human growth

if they didn’t know this

right then they’re acting on ignorance

because if they

were experiencing it if they were doing this

they would change

everything they

would change

everything i firmly

absolutely believe

that if all the people in charge

doing like weekly and

monthly mushroom rituals they would

completely rethink

everything absolutely everything

so you know they’re not doing it

right no they’re not so

whoever is in charge of

keeping things on a

schedule one list

whoever is the person who informs the dea

these are things we want to concentrate on this is

blah blah blah

chase after this go

after that yeah

whoever’s doing that

clearly isn’t experiencing

these things follow the

money that’s how you find out who’s doing

it the people are doing it are the people who make

money enforcing the law

right but my

point is we need to get

those people on mushrooms

that’s really what needs to happen yeah i mean that

sounds crazy but that

might be the way to fix the world

the way to fix the

world might be to get all the leaders on mushrooms i

think that i’ve thought

about this fuck yeah for real it

sounds like hokey

16 fifteen year old parking lot bullshit

yeah man we need to get all the fucking leaders on

mushrooms bro

but it’s not just it’s not just but

really i mean

how much has mushrooms helped you

yeah but i think i

would have been

fine if i didn’t have mushrooms you know

you’re not fine now kid

you know but seriously

yeah i think i like

what mushrooms did to me

but if i didn’t do it i don’t

think i’ll be fucking like

freaked out my drawings just

wouldn’t be as good you know

i think you’re discrediting

the information that you get when you have a good trip

when you have a good trip

and you come back you’re like oh god i’m such an idiot

you come back you’re like wow

so humbled you know

i was thinking so foolishly and now

i see it all it’s like

why wasn’t it here

to me before it’s like i was just out of my grasp and

now i have this elevated

point of view

and it lasts as long as you can hold on to

those ideals

it’s like as time goes on in between

trips they slowly

became more and more ethereal

they slowly became

more mislike

you can’t quite

grasp onto that feeling

of being connected

it’s like you’re like

it’s running out

then i have to go in there

again that’s the library

is there a library card

yeah go in there

again restore

restore restore settings

yeah and and and and i

think that um

what you’re talking

about is absolutely true

i was thinking like

you know what if somebody engineered a virus

that somehow

was like cap

gave people a


experience that was contagious that if you sneeze

the person you

sneeze on is

gonna trip out

so that this sort of like

wave of people

tripping from some kind of

bizarre new

virus spread across the country

and induce the

state that you’re talking about

it’s gotta be possible

look i think you know like if

animals can

spray toxins

out and kill you yeah and then animals also excrete

psychedelic compounds like

those toads that have

five meo dmt on their back

they secrete it

if that’s possible

so we know they can spit

and we know that they can discrete

psychedelics well sure they can spit

psychedelics at you

you know be nuts man

a fucking frog that just jumps in

front of you and

makes you trip out

you imagine dude

dude it just hops on you it’s a frog like you’re

chilling with your boys

you guys are like having

lunch and shit

fishing whatever

and i’ll send a frog jumps on you

like dude he got zapped and the kids like gone for like

five hours do do do do do

do you remember when

do you remember when aids

first came out

and there was that whole

thing with mosquitoes having aids

blood yeah remember

that there was

no aids mosquitoes i do yeah

that’s true

right you can call into work and be like

dude i got zapped by a

tripping frog i can’t come in

tripping frog

you’d have to have your mom calling for you

you wouldn’t be able to pick up the

phone man you’d be

wrestling with that but you know what i

think about the frog

jacked you the frogs have like a smile

they like a

smiley frog

round face it is jump proud you

spit your face

and that’s you always hear that say

you find yourself

falling into the fucking that’s what it’s chirp

would be it

would be that song

yeah you hear him out in the field

i’ve been waiting so long

imagine they could fucking sing

your grandma gets hit with it once

whose grandma’s fucking song

where’s this song coming from god that be great

what the fuck man i’m hearing singing you hearing that

jump up ah no dude i have an important meme shit

yeah man for sure that’s possible

for sure that happened to me

you know what i was thinking this is a

weird thing that i was thinking the other day

what was life like before eyesight was invented

okay because there was life before isolate

the first life was like

single celled organisms and then

they started

combining and mutating

and then eventually they picked up the ability to see

how fucking insane

must have the world been when there was no eyesight

that’s something that someone developed but stop

think about that for a second

organisms develop this ability to see things

right to recognize the

space in front of them

if we didn’t have that if no organisms had that yeah

this would never have taken

place right the evolution of

human beings the ability to do what we do

you have to be able to see

things and touch things tree falling in a forest

did it really fall

if no one saw it

what i’m saying is

what if there’s other

senses that we easily

could develop just like eyesight they just

haven’t gotten here yet yeah

yeah that’s it that’s totally

i mean if we’re okay the idea is

we’d like to

think that we are the most evolved

things ever because we are for earth

we’re the most evolved

thing but we’re not as evolved as we’re

gonna get okay if

there seems to be if you look at

the way life has evolved there seems to be

things just keep getting

more and more complicated and seemed like

it gets like

accelerates right

and whether

or not you believe that there is some sort of a

magic man who created the

whole world or

some sort of

an all knowing you know

intelligent design

entity that’s you know

you know non visual that’s a part of everything

whether or not you believe in any of that

stuff i mean

you still have to look at the

whole picture and go it’s

a very strange existence

you know yeah

and you know what was

weird is back in the

primordial past when

blind things were wandering around you could have

easily there

could be a bunch of

other shit if they

could talk the blind

things back then if they could talk

and the ones that just

started to see looked around and are like

uh john i don’t

wanna sound

crazy man but we’re surrounded by

water and what appears to be

coral reefs

like what’s fucking

wrong with you man

larry went insane juniors

nonsense talk

about the coral reefs in the

water what a fucking idiot

it’s the same

thing now people

start having

these visionary

experiences they’re like

you know what i think we

might be surrounded by a

matrix of infinite intelligence

that likes to personify itself in the form of

extra dimensional entities that seem to look like elves

people are like dude

shut the fuck up you

sound crazy you

sound like a retard bro you

sound like a retard

but you know as we advance you know

maybe that is what we’ll

begin to see in some way

without having to

smoke well it’s got to be something

next there’s got to be something next i mean

human beings

evolved out of the

lower primates

and the lower primates would make

noises and gestures

then eventually we figured

out language then written language recorded history

and then we

evolved to where

we can communicate today

it’s gotta keep going

it has to it’s


the changes are happening

quicker and

quicker than before yeah

i think you’re

gonna eventually get born with bluetooth

you know like your

body is gonna have some kind of robot

electronic in it now

all the signals

that we send out you know i mean when you think

about it signals are relatively recent

in terms of

human history

the history of the

human biology

you know i mean signals have only been around like

radios for what a couple hundred years or

something like that like how long has

radio been around i don’t know

1920s was it really something like that 30s

but whatever it was

it wasn’t the 1800s yeah so before that

there was nothing man you had no signals in the air

and then it was

radio and then it was

cb radio and then cell phones and

satellites there’s

satellites sending

signals there’s signals all over the fucking

place what if we

start evolving the ability to pick up

these new things called signals

like what if the only reason why

human beings needed eyesight was because they had to

climb out of the primordial

muck figure out

their way around and it was easier to not fall off

cliffs and see

where the fucking

cliff was so they

started to develop this

like what if that’s what’s

going on what if we are

gonna develop the ability to tune into signals

i don’t think it’s

gonna be genetic

but i think you’re

gonna be able to talk to each

other without saying words like the more we

start getting advanced with computers and we’re doing

symbols and signs i

think pretty soon we’re

gonna be able to

start communicating without

talking like

kind of like

i could just sit there and

look at your intent

yeah you know what i mean

i think that’s the

sense that the

dmt when you have a dmt trip that’s

what it feels like it feels like communication without

intent but with no words

it’s like i

understand exactly what you’re saying

i understand

but i understand it more of like as a like a wave

and like blocks of numbers and letters

there’s no blocks or

numbers and letters

the communication is like it’s like a very

clear and obvious wave

of information right

that thing yeah that’s it

yeah i know what you’re talking

about whatever that wave is

that it’ll talk to you in your own language

cause that’s what you need to hear

right but you realize

while this is happening or while

it’s talking that you’re

no that’s not

you’re just interpreting what it’s saying and

relaying it back into english that’s what you’re doing

right yeah your fax machine is picking it up and

printing it out and

everything yeah well you just you can’t

it’s like remember when you used to have

an emulator

for windows

and you had mac and it sort of opened up in a window

yeah like it was all like

junky and that’s

exact that’s what’s

going on yeah you

can’t quite

understand what they’re saying

so you have to do it through an emulator software

you have to like

run it through your own vocabulary

but you’re getting pure intent from them

you know that’s what like when i saw

one of the times i had this dmt trip

the dmt things

they always

say a bunch of the same

things so one of the

things they say is

relax and don’t give into astonishment and

when i heard that i didn’t know if

the reason why they said that to me was because i had

heard terrence mckenna say that they said that

i didn’t know i was like fuck

like what is this

are they saying this to me because i knew

they were gonna say this to me so they’re

reinforcing it

or is this just something replaying in my head

because i expected it

maybe it’s a

total hallucination

but it seemed like what they’re doing is trying to say

that they’re trying to say that but they’re saying it

with pure intent

and you put it into the words that you would use

and the words that i

would use was the words that mckenna

would have used

so it’s like they’re saying to you

relax and try to take this in

but they’re not

using words they’re

saying look at this like they’re showing you things

like they keep showing like more and more complex

crazy images

and as they’re showing you

these different

things they’re saying look at this

look at this

but you don’t really hear it

it’s like you

know they’re saying it but you don’t really hear it

that’s the next shit man

right pure intent

pure intent with no

mouth noise yeah that’s really good i like that i

because i was

as you guys were talking i was

thinking about like

well yeah i mean i’m sure there’s gonna be a

you know through

technology and ability to like

transmit thoughts in some way but

yeah what you’re saying is

tuning into something else and

which is something bigger than like

human communication it’s

tuning into what

mckenna calls

like the guy in

mind or like

the mind of the

earth the mind of the

earth tuning more into that and like hearing

what that message is or even more

tuning into the

the you know universal consciousness or the

thing that connects you to all things

and you know what

would be awesome man

and this is another part of it and i don’t mean to keep

going back to the conditioning bro but

it would be so awesome

to be able to have the

experience you had

and just accept that it was real

to not have to go back through your head well no i

think it’s important

to question whether or not it’s real i

think it’s important to

question whether or not it’s just a pure hallucination

that it’s just

your brain has been

dumped with

an extreme amount

of chemicals that are usually there in

small doses and

your brain is hit with this over wash and because it

all these synapses go off and it creates

these beautiful hallucinations

yeah possible

i’m not i’m not

absolutely convinced

that what’s happening when you have a dmt

experience is that you’re

you’re going into

an actual another dimension and communicate with actual

other entities

i know it feels like that but it

could be that my imagination is on fucking hyperdrive

it’s a possibility

that you have to consider as unlikely as it is

or rather as unappealing as it is to me

i would love to

think that it

would be way cooler if

there’s a drug that your

brain makes it lets you talk to aliens

that’s way cooler

but it’s possible that it’s not that’s not what’s

going on your

brain is just getting like walked

but if duncan came to you and said i believe my

dreams i think my

dreams are trying to

communicate with me

you have to at

least think that

maybe that’s possible too that’s kind of like the same

you know that your

dreams are trying to communicate

yeah that’s the other

thing so if you’re a

dream master i

think sometimes people push

things into the back of

their mind and then in their

dreams they’re trying to work out

those issues

and those issues

come popping up that happens sometimes people in

their dreams

well i have a variety of different types of dreams

some dreams

clearly or whatever just happened like

you know like glenn beck is like

having a conversation with me about

i pasta because i ate

pasta while i was

watching glenn beck and fell asleep

there’s that

those kinds of dreams

and then there’s the

other kind of

dreams and the

other kind of

dreams if you’re

lucky enough to remember them

are much bigger than that like sometimes

i’ll wake up

and i can it’s almost like i’m waking up from a lecture

where somebody in like an almost like

monotone voice is like and then

the true reason for loving

other people

creates a unified consciousness that

allows the furthering of the evolution

you know you wake up like what the fuck was that

but like i think you’re kind of like

you’re sinking dude

you gotta talk more into the

microphone cause your volume is all over the road i

think you’re kind of sinking oh there you are

people in their ipods

would just go fuck my

sorry you guys

sorry you just got a little too casual there fella

for the last time i did this podcast

we had shitty

mics last time

these are way better they

pick you up way better but you adjusted

and moved way further away i fucked up

i wasn’t talking

about the mics but

the last time i did this podcast

i got contacted by some of the coolest fucking

people i’ve ever been contacted by on the internet like

mind blowing people

like people were sending me their art

on facebook that was

insane insanely

psychedelic and like

i got real i got a

flood of like the most mind melting youtube

videos of different people giving lectures

and one of them

and i can’t remember the guy’s name damn it

which isn’t fair to the person who sent it but i wish i

could remember it

he was talking

about how they’re finding out that in in um

there’s no such

thing as empty space

it’s just filled with intelligence it’s just

it’s condensed information and

every single quantum

molecule of the universe is just pure information

and like what

what my theory is

right now is that

maybe when you’re getting high you’re

tuning into that information field

and it’s some kind of

extraterrestrial library that

where the books

transform into

words and letters

and ideas that you’ve experienced in the past

because there’s no

other grammar

for it there’s no way to

communicate the information

to you because it’s outside language it’s pre language

so it’s shaping it according to

for you like you said

mckenna talked

about don’t give into astonishment

and so that’s what you read

or saw as this wave of intent was coming to you but

to me to dismiss that wave of intent

as hallucination

is and i know you’re doing it speculatively i

think that you

or i feel like

maybe you’re just saying that but i

think you may have made a decision

about it already

i know you know i honestly i haven’t i

haven’t i’m

still open to the possibility that this is all

horseshit that

everything is

horseshit but i

absolutely believe

that there’s a benefit to this horseshit

there’s a benefit to the quality of life for the person

that’s done it and had the

experience i

think there’s a benefit

to the people that are around him the people

that he interacts with or she interacts with that

you’ll create more positive

energy and you’ll have a better base to operate

under like the

thing you said

about like all

these cool people contacting on the internet yeah dude

i have so many fucking cool fans on my message

board and on on twitter

there’s a lot of cool

motherfuckers out there cool people

and one of the

things that i’m finding when i’m talking to all

these people that i’m running into like we did the

these shows in england

and a huge percentage

of the people in the audience were podcast

listeners a huge percentage

when i yelled out like how many guys

watched the podcast fuck they went fucking

crazy that’s awesome so i’m thinking

you know like

wow this is nuts like this is it’s so cool

they could just download it all over the world

yes it’s so free and open and out there right

and i was talking to this kid afterwards

and they were telling me

how like there’s no one who talks like this near them

you know right they’re like for two

hours every week or you know

if you do two of them four

hours every week

we get to sit down and talk

and listen to people talk

that we don’t know anybody like that

we don’t know anybody who just considers all

the different

options in an argument and has

these weird

bizarre topics that they talk

about and puts

themselves out there and is really honest

about shit like this

and these dudes were like dude you’re

changing the way we look at the

whole world

and i’m like whoa i thought

about that i’m like

i wish i had something like that when i was

young i wish i had something

where there was just some

i could communicate

basically sit and listen to people communicate with

and sit and

learn it’s almost like

sitting at a

table with your fucking

you know your cool dad and his friends

you know when you were a little kid

if you had a cool dad my stepdad was really cool guy

and i would sit around with his friends and

and i would

listen to them talk

and i was like you know

12 or 13 and they

would let me stay up and

you know and

they would be sitting around talking

and there was all

these architects and shit like really


interesting guys

and i was like wow i’m like yeah i’m

kind of thinking how they

think and i was like

tuning into the way they thought

and it was like helping me and

it was like helping me

see things like a little differently than being

around a bunch of

other 12 year olds

right you know i’m saying

yeah i totally know

it so for a lot of

these people like dude we don’t know anybody

like you we don’t have anybody like you in our town


thinking inside

the box and everybody wants you to just get a good job

and just move on and get a family and don’t consider

anything and go to church to be a good person and

there’s a lot

of people that we’re talking to they’re like they’re

starting to look at this

thing they’re

starting to back up and they’re

starting to look up at the sky

and they’re

starting to look to the left and look to the

right and go whoa

what the fuck is this

what is this

thing we’re doing here

because this isn’t just

we’re living life

in the beginning

bob was a baby

bob went to high school

then college

he played a bit of football before

settling down with his lovely no no no no no no

that’s not what

it is that’s just a shit we made up to make ourselves

ourselves feel more comfortable i mean those

events are actually taking place

bob is going

school bob is

but that doesn’t mean shit okay

what really means

something is we’re flying through the fucking universe

we’re in space

we are in a ship

it’s an organic ship

right we’re not kidding we’re not on the ground

okay we’re thinking we’re on the ground no we’re flying

i’m afraid to be in

space in a spaceship you’re on a

spaceship right now

it’s just fucking huge

it’s a twenty four thousand mile across spaceship

yeah okay it’s a spaceship

that’s what it is

we’re not grounded

it’s not like

the universe is a

solid mass and we’re sitting on it

we’re flying

we are right now hurling

and we’re spinning a thousand

miles an hour yep

spinning a thousand

miles and we’re

doing tunnels

around a massive nuclear explosion i’m late for work

fuck i’ve got to get my

blockbuster video back

i’m meg whitman

and i’m going to

clean up california

with conservative

thinking and

values yeah yeah

yeah we’re caught

in a massive

field of time we’re being

carried on the

river of time towards some

unified future

where either we get

blasted by a nuclear holocaust or something happens

where we all merge into

the universe through

technology or a skynet goes live

skynet goes live oh

those fucking japanese dolls

dude we’re talking

about that before the podcast

the japanese doll that sings is a new oh wait i’m

sorry i’m really

sorry can i make one more

point about what we’re just talking about

and then we’ll talk

about fucking

robots but uh but um

the thing that i was

thinking on it to

to address the point of

doing a podcast

and getting

these kinds of ideas out into the

places where they might

normally get

it’s like there’s

two points one is

this technology

this technologies only

existed for a very

short time yeah i did 93

right that became accessible

to everybody but

to have the

money to get

this kind of

gear together and then

put it on the

internet it cost so much less than it used to cost

so anyone can create

these little nodes

transmitting the information number two

this is what i was thinking

there is an idea coming

i don’t know

when tesla had his idea for

alternating current

this idea came to him in a vision

right so there’s an idea coming and that idea

transforms society

and there’s been so many ideas like that that

transform society

there is an idea coming

i don’t know what the fucking idea is

it could be a drug

it could be a machine

it could be a

movie we don’t know what it is

but there’s an idea coming that might

be the next

transformative idea and the last

transformative idea that finally pushes us outside of

being stuck in the ego

structure and

becoming part of

everything else

and i don’t know what the fuck it is but

what were what you’re doing here

by like putting information

like this out and anytime you put information that goes

against the conditioning

what you’re doing is like sending

out little messages and bottles and eventually one of

those things

might wash up on some

super intelligent person sure and they

might open it up and be like wait a

minute holy shit

wow i just thought of

whatever it is cernan

49 the device that opens up a portal

into the future and

creates the machine mckenna talked

about it’s like

the idea of

spreading this information

is to lay the framework

so that whatever this fucking

thing is that

we all know is

in the works

and it’s a lot more than a

sweet asian android you can fuck in the

mouth whatever this idea

whatever this idea is

it’s like it’s not

gonna end there’s a lot of what if

people have to people have to realize it’s not

gonna end the real

thing is we’re living our lives we’re

going through this what we think is

a predetermined pattern

of behavior following the same roads to get to work

every day and we’re

thinking that it makes sense

but all the

while we’re doing this we’re supporting

technology and

technology is

developing at

a far far faster rate than our biology can process

you know what i’ve always said

about movies and songs and everything

that it kind of

freaks me out how much they get to me it kind of

freaks me out when i see like avatar and i’m like this

fucking amazing

ropes me in

and i’m like god i want everybody to be okay and fuck

those assholes and want to

fuck up your planet and

you know you get roped into it and then you

leave like in this like

dude i just went through like a journey

you know i’m saying my

brain and all my reward

systems got hijacked

and i went through this journey

and it felt really good and it felt really cool and

everything but

i was thinking

about it i was like

that’s one of the reasons why people are so fucking

childlike and delusional

and it’s not because there’s some

grand programmer that’s trying to keep us in line

it’s because

the media itself the ability to create

movies that are

super satisfying

the ability to create these

happy endings that’s what we

wanna see that’s like

even though

that’s not what happens

every day that’s really what we

appreciate cause that’s the highest rewards

ratio that we can get from

watching a performance

but we’re not set up to process that

we’re set up

to process real events

we’re set up to imitate

successful behavior we see

the one monkey that’s a bad

motherfucker that knows

where the snakes are

and he beats a

snake with a

stick and everybody runs away i

wanna follow that guy he

knows where the fucking snakes are

that guy’s cool

and you imitate his behavior you

whack this the ground

find out where the

snakes are you know what i

mean it’s like they pick it up from the leader they get

your information you know

we need to think

about it that way i think

yeah so like

what the information coming from the

media now is what it’s like

i just can’t find a man to love me

you know what i mean it’s like how many

movies are based on some woman

either having

to choose between two guys and she can’t pick her

the marriage

isn’t going that well but she meets

a or lover from the it’s all

about with a reproductive

cycle it’s all the

movies are all

about like the

great conclusion

is a successful reproductive

cycle yeah these

things hijacking our reward

systems these

music and everything and

the beauty of

music it’s like the beauty of birds chirping

get to appreciate nature it’s like we have this

built in beauty of

recognizing rhythm

thumping on

things and tapping on the ground

but when you

hear a real song that moves you with beautiful

lyrics and fucking music

my god it changes your whole

state of consciousness

and it just

completely hijacks your reward

system and what i’m

thinking is that

these things

these things like songs and

movies and all

these brilliant

things that people create

what they’re doing is just

accelerating the need to make cooler shit even faster

it’s like here’s your reward

you don’t want to make new

technology make new

technology and i’ll give you bluetooth

image oh so bright

you give you

more reward

brain juice

stuff flows down

make you happy

avatar so blue

look at skin gold

oh high resolution

more love more love

so for that i need to get the latest

love thing the

latest love box bro it’s 90 fucking inches across

it’s amazing

3d you don’t need glasses

and it’s like wow

they got to develop the next what’s the next thing they

have to kick it to another

level we’re

going hologram

folks we’re

going hologram no more

screens we don’t need a fucking

screen what you need to do is just shut your

lights out and i’m

gonna have a fucking play

it’s gonna go on in your house

you’re gonna

just don’t move because you’ve ruined the illusion

you’re gonna see it all take

place right in

front of you turn to the left turn to the right

it’s all around you all the time

you know they’ll

start off gotta go

right back to theater

yeah they’ll

start it off it’ll be almost just

like a projector on one wall and eventually it’ll be

immersed reality


returns well you know

then keep going i really like what you were saying

about hijacking what did you say hijacking your reward

system for love and for honor and

for lost and passion and all

these different

things that are set up to make sure that you’re

successful so you there’s like this

i’m sure you’ve seen it because it’s fucking awesome

ferrofluid have you ever seen ferrofluid no so

ferrofluid if you look it up it’s so cool looking it’s

this kind of magnetic

fluid where if you play certain

sound frequencies the ferrofluid forms into

these awesome

shapes and patterns

and there’s a way you can do it by putting

i don’t know what the

material is but if you put stuff on a

speaker and you have it set up just

right and play certain tones

the material will take on geometric formations


and i don’t know the physics behind this but

i think that

with your mind

what your mind does is

there are certain

patterns that

the electronic


interface of your mind temporarily takes according to

external stimuli

so for example

if you see something

move from behind you really fast what do you do

you automatically turn around just look

you don’t think

about that you don’t

think you know what i

should look you just look

because that

stimulus is

activating something in your brain

and creating an automatic pattern

like if you’ve ever

dropped a cup

or dropped something

i don’t know if you’ve done that and you just

snatch it you didn’t think

about it and you’re like fuck i’m like spider man

how did i do that i didn’t think

about that at all

that’s a pattern

electronic pattern that your

brain took so in the same way

these movies and songs

when you hear them they’re

literally causing

the temporary


state of your mind to take

these forms to take on

these forms and

that’s very addictive i think

because there’s certain of

those forms that are more

enjoyable than others

for example

like the form your

brain takes when you’re around a beautiful woman

like you know what i mean you’re

everything shifts in your mind

suddenly everything changes

the whatever it is whatever environment you are in

you could be shitting

you could be sitting on a giant turd

and a beautiful

woman walks in and all of a

sudden things aren’t

quite so bad

it’s like that’s

cause your mind is

the pattern of your mind is


and it’s like

that’s what

these that’s what

movies are doing and that’s what uh

you know i think people have gotten really good at

understanding how that primate

neurological geometry works and they’re really good at

activating it in certain ways you know

via fox news you know

like you turn on fox news and it’s like

everything’s trying to kill you

yeah well for sure

that’s what

one of the reasons why fox news is a huge problem

is because you know propaganda even though it’s funny

like fox news

propaganda always makes me go well you have to be an

idiot to believe that but

but there’s a lot of

idiots out there

and even though

i mean look propaganda the real problem with it is

if you’re not telling the

truth and you’re in control of the

media that’s a

giant responsibility

you’ve done some horrible horrible

disservice to mankind

because you’re broadcasting confusion

fucking things up even little fuck ups they do like

we’ve talked

about this before

where whenever

a politician gets busted for a sex

crime anything

crazy sexual

hookers whatever

there’s always

a d next to his name it

doesn’t matter if he’s a republican or not on fox

they put d right next to his name

right and then if you ask them oh it was just a slip up

you know something

like that we just assumed it was a democrat

yeah it’s a joke they make a joke

they make a joke

out of it but meanwhile what

they’re doing is

they’re causing a lot of people who may be on the fence

you know to go one way or another so

whatever i mean

whether or not it matters you know

well no i mean it matters because the real

thing that fox is doing

i mean it’s not like i don’t

think i think part of fox is to



ideals but really it’s like

you want to

understand fox

don’t watch the reporters

watch the commercials in between

and that’ll

teach you everything

about fox news

because it’s like they’re selling geriatric diapers

if you’ve seen

that the one fucking commercial that’s like

shows like some

happy old lady driving around a moped

in her living room and they’re like you

could have one of

these for free

medicare covers

this that’s not

young people listening to fox

it’s just old trimble and geriatrics in

their living rooms on

their mopeds

two two fucking steps away

from death and they

want bill o’reilly to give them the real deal and keep

them safe he’s telling the

truth he’s funny did missy

love bill o’reilly

oh poor missy yeah she would

she would fucking

watch she would

watch that and if

we all try to

get her to stop because it wasn’t helping her mental

state but it’s like

dude i watch and

the terrorists

ah they’re gonna get us off

i used to watch

i watch that i

still watch

fucking glenn beck ironically but

it’s interesting to

watch every now and then because

sometimes i

agree with him 30

no no sometimes he makes good points

and then he wraps him up in nonsense yeah

then you know oh then you go this guy’s just an actor

yes he’s like

putting on an act like what he’s doing he’s developed

this conservative act he used to be on a morning zoo

you know i mean i think

maybe he believes some of the

stuff that he says

but there’s a lot of what he’s doing that’s theatrics

oh that sarah

palin shit man he’s a nut dude when he had

sarah palin he was interviewing her saying she

might be the only hope for this country i was like

what did you just do

look at that like

it’s almost like he decided he was

gonna make it so

ridiculous let’s see if we can pull this off

like they probably

had an argument like do don’t say that man if you say

that she’s the only hope for this country everybody’s

gonna know you’re fucking with her yeah

i think i can do it i

think i’m sincere enough

oh he is a goddamn

that guy snaps next i don’t know

who’s or when but late at

night that guy snaps

he’s so strange he works all the time too he

doesn’t just do his tv show

which he does that

he also writes like a book

every two months

and he also goes on tour and he

does like live performances

and he was doing comedy

for a while

he was doing

like the glenn beck like live comedy performance

thing where he

would talk about his

crazy government

and he would do like

a live sort of a

stand up thing

but that didn’t go so well so now he just gives like

these kind of like

live speeches

so the motherfucker’s just like

raking in money

he’s obsessed

yeah he’s making bank

but have you seen the

i don’t know when this was

it was recently released it

was from his podcast and he’s got some kind of sickness

and i don’t know what the sickness is but he’s called

crazy he’s broken

heart it is

crazy but clint

has broken heart

he’s telling his flock

about this sickness

it’ll be so

sweet if gwen beck

got busted getting his dick sucked

of course it’s

gonna happen oh

you know what though he’s not a perfect guy

he admits that he had done drugs and

rank and stuff didn’t he like had a problem

with booze or something like that well that’s the

thing that televangelists

always say when they get caught with it with getting

their dick sucked but

like that that

black televangelist when they

were asking

did you did you

or did did you whatever

and he’s like

what was he said what did he say he said um

he’s like none of us are perfect

that means yes yeah that means you

well there’s a lot of evidence apparently

he’s fucked

eddie long that guy

yeah the evidence is that anytime anybody goes it’s a

bunch of people saying it too it’s not his one person

eddie long’s name

is the fucking evidence

yeah exactly

that sounds like a pimple from oakland

it doesn’t sound like

a fucking minister but he

did weird shit like lick their face

oh see weird

he’s like in a hotel room with some young kid who

thinks he’s a messenger of god and he’s like

let me lick your face john

i just like licking your lips moses used to lick

the lips of his sheep

it was it was it’s a christian

thing to lick the lips of someone who loves you oh

brian you’re ruining the whole erotic atmosphere

it’s a strange moaning

he’s like that

that is what it’s like

parliament starts playing he puts his

bible down unzips his

pants that is like the biggest

travesting yeah the the biggest like

crime against humanity

the idea that you can take children

and pretend that you’re religious and fuck them

yeah that’s the that’s the that’s

definitely getting i mean that

might be one

i mean but besides murder and rape and all the

other horrible

things that people do

that’s one that’s really

underlook you really ruined a life

how the fuck you

gonna get over the fact that big

fat sweaty guy

who smells like your car just fucked you in the ass he

smells like jakar and barbecue

sauce and he just fuck you

not only that but don’t forget

that this man is a representative of jesus

in your mind is the

greatest person on the planet so

the it’s it’s

like it’s like

someone’s assistant molesting

you and you’re like oh god they must be bad too he

smells like

jerry curled

juice and communion

wafer try loads

smell the viagra on his breath he just

shopping viagra

in between ceremonies red table this is

all about fucking people’s kids

god damn yeah that’s

crazy thing it’s amazing that one priest

could get allowed

you know one priest

comes out and does that and you know and people

should be like well that’s just one guy’s just

fucked up and

it’s understandable this guy is just

you know we didn’t see it coming it’s crazy

but if you got like hundreds of thousands of cases

like all over the world yeah

at what point in time does everybody step in and

start like thoroughly

investigating churches like having

like security

there at all times having cops there at all times

looking for inappropriate shit like this is a

scene of a crime

how many crimes have been committed here who knows

we’ve got a

hundred kids saying that someone made them suck

their dick just to put it in context you know

that’s a crime

scene god damn it let’s imagine that

kmart for example no let’s say walmart

let’s say walmart all of a sudden

word got out that all

these walmarts all across the country

the manager was fucking little kids

yeah it would be what one week

before the government descended on all the walmart yeah

there we go what is this well it turns out

ladies and gentlemen what we had here was a pedophile

ring disguised as a business there was actually a typo

in the training manual

that seemed to indicate

but whatever it is like

you wouldn’t

you wouldn’t

you would investigate

that because the catholic church is so

powerful no one

no one’s fucking with it

no one’s fucking with it and that’s the

that’s kind of the problem in the goddamn primate

hive is we are not good at dealing with

obvious truths

we’re not good at addressing

things and it just

we don’t want to correct yeah

we don’t want to reestablish a new viewpoint

that’s one thing

we don’t want to do once we have opinions on things

very difficult to get someone to really just abandon

that opinion and then recognize the opinion that’s

wrong and then move on

it’s very hard for us to do

that’s one of the one of the reasons as primates we get

stuck in certain

types of behavior because it’s comforting

you know instead of just being

alone on your

own not knowing whether or not you’re doing the

right thing or the wrong

thing in life you know you just really

working around on guesswork

instead you know you have a

confidence and

well i’ve always done it this way and this is how i am

and this is right and

fuck the terrorists

you know we got to

fight him over there so we don’t

fight him over here yeah

you know and you know you have

these things and you don’t want to let

those things go because you’ve argued for

those things forever

right like have you ever seen the


on the sphinx

where dr robert

shock is from the boston

university boston

university i

think or university of

one of the either

university of massachusetts no no no it’s boston i

think it’s boston

maybe boston college anyway

very well respected geologist goes to egypt

looks at the sphinx

okay and notices

that there’s all this

erosion on the sphinx

and on the sphinx

enclosure that can

only be attributed to rainfall for thousands of years

well the only problem is

the last time

they had rainfall in the nile valley it was 7 000 bc so

that’s like 9 000 years ago so that predates

where they thought

the construction of the pyramids sat in by

somewhere around 5 000 years

that’s like impossible

as far away from us as

5 000 years ago

think about 5 000 years for us

that’s ancient egypt

so it’s as far away from them as ancient

egypt is to us

so he’s saying

we have a situation

where it’s at

least that old

and it might be far

older than that because this is thousands of years of

reign this has been cut out

and thousands of years of rain has

caused it to do this

so it had to be

older even still

so there’s a

bunch of people that are theorizing 10

500 bc there’s

people that want to go 34 000 bc

because you add up all the dates of the pharaohs

so these guys john anthony west who’s an

egyptologist who’s been

studying all this shit his

whole life and

he’s one of the ones that’s convinced that

the ancient

egyptian history

is a rich long history not of

5 000 years not of 2

500 bc but 34 000 years he says it goes

back far you know you just have to recognize it and

understand it and

appreciate it

and you can

show the different construction methods he’s like

they’ve got like very

clear evidence like this is they’re

building things very differently here

and this is

below what was on on top of it

so we’re talking

about something that was buried in sand

so they built on top of something that was far

older than what’s

right here and so he has all this shit explained out

and then he shows the geologist

shows all these

fissures in the

water and they explain that this

in the walls

that’s only

caused by water

and they explain to all

these conventional

egyptologists like this has got to be

we have to reconsider the

age of this

maybe it’s just a

bunch of bird pee

so when the

egyptologists look at them the

egyptologists goes

well what’s the evidence of this

culture you’re asking us to consider a

culture from 10

500 bc where’s the evidence of this culture

what the fuck are you talking

about what is this

what is this

they don’t want to

admit that they’ve been

teaching for

a hundred years

some shit that’s incorrect

they want to attribute it to khufu and all

these different guys that they can know

well this guy

existed at this

point in time it’s documented and

you know tut moses the

third this is the guy we attribute

after this he was around at this

point in time

they don’t want to

admit the possibility that shit goes back

thousands and thousands of years

earlier and they deny him

he shows all this geology

he’s got over 100 geologists

from all over the country that have signed off on this

that they’ve looked at the

erosion and say this is very

clearly water

erosion of thousands of years

they don’t care

they don’t give a fuck they didn’t want to talk

about it yeah


only want to consider it

well yeah that but a lot of them is

it’s because it

would embarrass

them yeah it would

exactly it’s like they’re in charge of information

they’re in charge of disseminating information you have

the clearest information you

could ever have is geology it’s fucking rocks man

it’s like what is this that is

slate that’s provable what is this that’s granite

yeah it’s fucking it’s rocks okay you got rocks

with deep that it looks like

water it’s smooth it goes down

just like water would do

it’s not like sand

erosion he shows

this dr ron

shock shows the difference between sand

erosion and

water erosion

it’s interesting isn’t it very

clear difference what you are talking about how

bizarre it is that priests or

pedophiles have embedded themselves into the priesthood

and are doing the

exact opposite of what some

you would think a priesthood

should do or what

right they’re

always protecting the priests so then you look at

egyptology and it’s curious oh look there’s the

exact same structure and egyptology

instead of somebody being a true historian

being like wow

good work holy

shit this is

going to transform

everything this is amazing

they’re like

you know what

that’s a lot of

ink to rewrite all

this history

yes let’s not

waste our time look

why don’t you go investigate that

arrowhead over there

this is the dumbest

thing the guy said

where’s the evidence of this

culture how much evidence do you

think would be there

after 10 000 fucking years

nothing man it

would all be

eaten up especially

houses like american houses

like a regular

house with drywall and shit and yeah

roof tile that shit’s gone

the earth is

gonna swallow that up it’s fucking hard man because

if you think about it

just to empathize with that asshole


if you think

about it i can think of

specific times i’ve gotten in a fight

with someone

and known in my head that i am

wrong in the

midst of the

fight i just know i’m wrong

and i just keep

pushing on pushing on through even though i know i’m

wrong and clearly

in my head and that’s just some dumb little

fight imagine

egyptologists who stayed

his entire career on the fucking

thing it’s like

and to academics saying you’re

wrong about something

that you mean being

wrong being proven

wrong about something that’s devastating

yeah because

that just shows it like you didn’t consider

everything and you have a flaw in your thinking

like you had

dated this and you were

clearly incorrect so the

hieroglyphs that you read that you attributed to all

these various guys

saying this is

when we built this is when

like the the

sphinx itself

like one of the guys i forgot i

think it’s tut

moses the third whoever’s accredited with the

no that’s not him

who the fuck is accredited with the

building of the sphinx

it’s not kufu

right kufu is

the guy who thought it was a cat made the he was

credited with the

great pyramid

anyway whoever it was

the hieroglyph the way it

said the way it was say

you know the reason

why they attributed to him is because he said that

he was told in a

dream that if he uncovered the sphinx

that he would

get to be pharaoh

but the problem

is the word is uncover like

if it’s uncover if that’s the real


then you’re saying that it was there already

right i don’t know how how

clear it is to

translate hieroglyphs though

you know i’m

saying like if you’re reading something in hieroglyphic

how much of

that is open to interpretation because it’s such an

alien language i mean it’s so different than english

to put it into english words

and to put it in

in the context that we’re

gonna recognize as me

having a certain intent

i mean god it’s so hard man

i just saw this

thing called

but i’m sorry the

point is that all it says is that he was there when the

sphinx was built

that’s all you know for sure

you know just because it’s written somewhere

you know i rocked the

sphinx and i built la

i built this shit

and then scientists

a thousand years

ago oh joe rogan

built la it’s written

right here that

doesn’t mean anything man

it’s a fucking

giant structure yeah you say you built it

where’s the

drawings man you don’t even have any fucking directions

there’s pictures of you assholes with

plates on your heads with fruit

and there’s no

pictures of you

building the fucking pyramids

none not a single hieroglyph

represents the construction of the pyramid sure you

think why would you

write that down

what’s really important is how do you make

bread oh it’s fucking

crazy yo we get

fire and we

gotta fuck with some flour

yeah they have all this different

things that they have written down

about their life and

their culture and war and

space yeah like somebody’s

sketching a pyramid on the wall

and they’re like

boring why are you

sketching that

thing we just

built it forget

about it let’s talk

about two million

three hundred thousand

stones connected

so perfectly

like in like the king’s chamber and all these

stones inside you can’t get a

razor blade in between them man

well i mean yeah so

i think that why

would you write down how you made that

yeah fuck it

yeah please

just fucking boring

just rocks and

stones because

it’s probably like it’s a simple way we just

haven’t thought of yet let’s draw

it you know it’s probably something that’s so

basic and you’re like oh

duh they wouldn’t want to draw that duh

but i think

you know what

there’s no way

it might be a way

maybe it was just what i

found there’s no way just the numbers

the numbers of

stones they don’t know whether or not the

stones were caught

or whether or not they were poured there’s a separate

argument that they

were made out of limestone and it’s fairly convincing

and it’s another one that’s

going to fuck with

egyptologists for sure

because the theory is

that they made those

stones with like they made a concrete out of limestone

and they mixed it and then like set them in place

so it wasn’t that they

moved all these

stones as they made concrete

and made these

blocks like in

place well i

think that that

doesn’t make any

sense either

right because

even if you make concrete

blocks then you got to pick them up and move them

i mean i don’t

know your mind gets more detailed than mine does in

these things

these things

like you try to like figure it out i

i don’t know man i just look at

i think that

maybe i have lazy

thinking in the

sense that i will just let myself believe that like a

alien crane

it’s just too much work right yeah

i don’t go into the number of dons and stuff but

i do think whatever it is

and the way it was built is and

whether it’s the most

mundane it’s just a shitload

of people figured out how to do it or whether the thing

just teleported in from some

sumerian dimension or whatever i still think it’s

awe inspiring that

things like that exist and i think that

there is the

tendency in science

to try to minimalize

things for some reason and

remove that feeling of like holy shit what is that it’s

by the time

egyptologists get done with

everything it’s just like a snore

fest out there

you’ve got this ancient

insane pyramid that appears to somehow

i think i’ve

heard you say this somehow at some time of the year

lines of the summer solstice yeah

there’s a like

shafts inside

that point to certain constellations

there’s a bunch of design

where when the

sun is rising in a certain time of the year it goes

like in the temple in man it goes like up the chakras

it’s incredible shit like

there’s so much of what they did and even the mayans

the mayans had some visual

effect on the side of one of

their pyramids

that as the sun

would rise it

would look like

snake was moving up the side of

their pyramid and you know they

worship quetzal

quatil which

is the feathered plumed

serpent a flying

flying snake

yeah i’ve seen the

video of the shit snake

shadow it’s pretty dope

but you know you

think about

these ancient ancient

civilizations i mean

how much room of

for error do you have when you’re moving 2 000 fucking

pound stones

and you know you’re doing it in your barefoot

with fucking you know a

goofy thong on

pushing these

giant stones

maybe it was just an

extinct animal

that used to love to build

pyramids that’s

a good idea

brian i’m glad

you really fucking

irritating pyramid dinosaur

right look here goes

just shits him out make it

maybe that’s

his that’s his

that’s his beehive

why does he like to eat clay so yeah

no it’s like

an ant makes a really complicated anthill

there’s only one of them that

existed and then he died and

he turned into a pyramid

so it looks complicated you

shoot pyramids and

sphinxes it looks complicated

but it’s just nature manifesting itself through done

well you know we don’t know i mean i

think there i’m like

you know when you what i was

thinking is if you could

paint if like

you were some primitive person

you knew that whatever you

painted on a wall

was gonna get

super scrutinized by anthropologists

who are gonna look at the

thing and be like oh this means that they worship the

cow god well

maybe you’re not

i draw a cow right

well i mean it makes

sense that they

would draw cows i mean that’s what they needed to stay

alive you know

i mean it was

very important to them you know when people talk

about why did you know why did animals worship cattle

well there’s two reasons for sure

but the indian reason

doesn’t make sense

there’s two reasons one they

like a lot of ancient

cultures they were embedded in

cattle worship

they were like yeah

what is it called choctaw

heok do you know how to say that one no i just read him

that’s the one that mckenna talked

about and he

shows all these images from

all the different shit that they

had that was in

honor of the cow they had

horns and they worship cows

and then the

idea is that the reason why people worship cows

his idea is that there was

mushrooms that was growing off cow shit

and they were eating them

and they were

having these



which makes sense

except they also needed them to stay alive

you have to look at the fact that if you’re

the first time that they invented

culture the

first time that they invented


they had to figure out a way to stay put

right that’s what they had to do so

they had to figure out a way to corral the animals

once they corral the animals like oh we got them

they worship them they put the

horns up like oh this is what keeps us sustained

this is what

allows us to stay here this is what keeps us

alive you know they have a big

supply of these animals

and they keep

slaughtering them

i mean if you’re a family of four

and you have a full farm just for yourself

i mean think

about that man you got a full

farm with you know

thirty cows and you got all

these chickens

you you shoot a

cow you get a side of beef that’s a lot of fucking food

that shit will last you a long ass time

and you got all this corn that you’re growing and all

these vegetables

that you’re growing you don’t need anything else

you know you

could you could do it all there you’re totally

self sustaining

yeah and it’s safer

if you have to go out hunting all the time you’re

gonna get attacked by

lions and shit it’s yeah

but i don’t

think it’s all

about the mushroom

i don’t think i mean it’s yeah it’s more i mean

they in india

i’ve read they consider

cow dung to be

antiseptic the indian

thing i was saying that didn’t make

sense is that the indians didn’t even eat them

so if they don’t eat them if they

worship them as gods then what happened there because i

understand the idea that the cattle keep you

alive and that’s why you worship

them but you eat them

you know the choctaw

he look i think

those guys i

think they were like at the time

where everybody ate

animals yeah you know

there was no there was no no like sacred animals

where you couldn’t eat it like you to eat

everything that was there

you know you don’t have that much fucking choice

but in india people are starving

but they won’t go

after the cows

well yeah they yeah

there are i mean

they do kill some cows in india

some people don’t fly that way anymore right but

in you know in the

hindu religion

right are cow sacred

oh yeah you when i was in

india you would go down the

street and just

pass a cow and you

could pet it

cows are like

dogs they are

sweet you rub them

and they like

it and they’ll lick your hand and they’re just really

sweet animals

that’s the thing

it’s like you know

we were like wow oh

those people in

china eating

those dogs how

could they do that pass the

steak honey

you’re eating a gentle

very sweet creature

that’s i mean

i’m not saying it

doesn’t taste good

i’m not a vegetarian i eat them

but you have to recognize when you’re eating that thing

it is a very

very sweet animal

cows are like really gentle sweet

not entirely

dumb animals

especially if you like

i mean when you see a cow in the wild or a cow at a

slaughterhouse or a cow that’s being harvested

now you’re seeing something that

was a it’s being treated

in the most horrific way

you know it’s

it’s not in its natural habitat and i’m not

glorifying the way cows or any animals are

treated in india but

i think that

any animal that you show love to is

gonna become

sweet and domesticated and seem kind of

smart you do

understand that joe wants to kill

tigers yeah we

should kill tigers

yeah you should kill

everything that kills you that’s why

i’m not down for bulls roaming the streets either yeah

you know well i mean yeah it’s like

that’s an interesting point and

just on an off note

what is more satisfying

and watching a lion tamer

get chomped by a lion

oh the russian

video any video when you see

somebody you’ve

got in a lion cage getting mauled by a lion

it’s like the one time you can

watch violence

without having

to feel too bad because this is a person who is

enslaved an animal that’s not meant to be enslaved or

put in a cage

prodding it poking it and getting the inevitable result

but it’s disturbing dude have you seen the one

that not the one that just happened

where the guy

where they did the

i don’t know what you called did some

worldwide wrestling move on him like they both

grabbed him and stretched his arms out for a

second they’re

about to rip his arms off yeah no i did see that yeah

it looked like they were

gonna tear his

arms off but the hose kept him off oh god so

close to being the

greatest i thought it was

gonna be i thought it was totally gonna be

death i thought it was

gonna be arms come off

death that was a yeah it was

about to be like death

it was amazing that he was

still okay he was like walking around he got fucked up

i’m sure there’s

blood everywhere there’s

blood all over there’s a line

wasn’t that blood

there was a jacket

that’s blood

but there’s a lion attack video

on your website and by the way man

why do people on your website keep posting these

death videos

what the fuck dude you get like every

there’s so many like

death videos and like i have a problem not

watching them and then

and it gets

stuck in my head

but there was a

it’s just there on the internet

if they’re on the internet and it’s interesting it’s

gonna be on my website

i know i know

it’s not a choice you want to have to make do

you see this

yeah i’m gonna

well maybe it’s not that bad let me oh my god

yeah terrible

i stopped at

no more deaf

there’s a smart there’s a

video on your website of

i think it’s russia

and it’s a lion

finishing the job

and it’s like you know

first the guy’s got his arm in the cage

and he’s in the

lion’s kind of like holding onto his arm a little bit

and it almost looks it’s kind of having fun

the lion’s just

having a little bit of fun the guy’s got

the guy’s in the cage with one arm out

there’s somebody

there kind of holding on to him the lion’s like

you know how cats play with their food

it’s just kind of like

chilling out

looking at the guy and the guy’s like there and for a

second it looks like you

might get out of this

and then the lion

for whatever reason

just pulls him into the cage

and chomps down i

think on his neck

you can’t really tell because the lion’s on top of him

and you just see that

thing that happens

you know if you’ve ever been bitten by a dog

or a cat when it just

bites in and

it’s in for the real bite

it’s doing that

biting deep

and all of a

sudden the guy’s body

does this convulsive thing

which is kind of the last like little like adrenaline

pump before he dies and it’s just this

awful seizure

and then some guy in like a military helmet

or a military hat or i don’t know police officer comes

and shoots the fucking lion

which is the saddest part of that video

the lion bellows out as it’s being shot

like what the fuck

what do you expect

what did you

think was gonna happen

what it was it’s authentic surprise like oh

and that’s the end of the line the lion was doing

everything it was supposed to do

the lion was passing the lion test

when the fucking

monkey comes and

starts poking you or washing your cage you eat it

that’s how it works that’s how it’s

work from the beginning of time yeah how long do you

think you trick that

thing and to

trick them you have to be on them all day

every day yeah

those guys who handle big cats

those motherfuckers get very intimate with those cats

because you have to you you can’t like take a couple

months off and go to sweden

i came back from the alps to tell you what to eat

the tiger’s like wow the fuck was i listening to you

again bitch get over here just

crack you in the head wait a

minute you know what the fuck wait a minute and

here’s my dumb hippie

point that effect

of the lion handler

manipulating this

powerful lion

that is exactly

what oppressive governments do to the people

and it’s the

exact same thing

where you have the

clear powers the

power of the people

they’re more

powerful than

li baka who’s like i don’t care what they say

about marijuana i’m

gonna keep arresting

people do they arrest me for arresting people

you know is that what he said no i made that up but he

said it was an awesome

quote it would

have been an awesome that guy

would have been the shit yeah he

could have got on bill o’reilly tomorrow yeah he

would have been he

would have been an anchor on fox news the next day but

the point is like

the people are the lion and

that’s the horror of the government

is when the lion

starts waking up

and the people

start realizing wait a minute

you can’t tell me i can’t fucking

eat mushrooms you can’t tell me i can’t smoke pot

you can’t take

sixty percent of my

money away from me anymore

i don’t understand why we’re in afghanistan

and instead of being like

well that’s weird

and what time is it i have time to grab a coffee

you start fucking organizing and doing what you can

to fight against it

which i never do so i

should shut up but

it’s i know what you’re saying it’s just it’s an

idealistic point of view and the only reason why it’s

idealistic is because no one’s pulled it off yet but it

doesn’t mean it’s not possible right

look what they’re doing in

paris if you see what they’re doing in paris

yeah that shit’s not getting

a lot of airplay is it so what’s happening tell us

in paris i believe it’s in

paris they’re like

increasing the

age that you can get your pension

from 61 to 63

so i guess it’s

equivalent to being a 61

like for all

your life you’ve been working and whatever and all of a

sudden you’re

about to have

the big vacation before you die and you can’t

take it you

have to work two more years and now everyone’s that

but i think there’s

other things involved

they have like serious financial problems don’t they

well yeah well they you know a lot of people

are saying the financial problems they’re experiencing

we’re gonna

we’re about to get a little

taste of that too but

what you’re seeing over there is

not being carried in the mainstream

press that much

because it’s a mild little revolutions happening

over there they cut off the fucking oil supplies

they’re cutting

off oil supplies really to the city yeah

um and i don’t

know now who’s cutting off oil supplies the

activists they’re fucking

blockading like

the oil refineries there’s like a ship full of oil

apparently floating out there and can’t come in

whoa yeah their gas is running out over there from

these activists because they’re

succeeding they’re like

but the problem it’s like

that’s the level of

reaction you have to have to oppression

so the activists are cutting off the oil

and the reason why they’re

cutting off the oil to the city is to starve the city

out so the city has to listen to them well somebody

call in and explain this because like this is like

something call in we don’t have i know i’m just kidding

get me off the fucking hook here

but they are i know they’re blockading the fucking oil

and and it’s not getting that much play in the news

i haven’t heard anything about this

let’s go to cnn com that was you

okay you would have to think that’s breaking news

right yeah that’s breaking news

dems look to energize

women and unions yeah

lindsay lohan back for a

second rehab

stock chart

worst day in two months two bullshit stories

that’s their big story two things that make no sense

the stock market which is fake as fuck and no one

understands you can’t even pretend you understand that

after that bernie

made off shit

that guy was even

stock brokers got fucked by that guy

right no one knows what the fuck that guy was doing

how is that possible then you have a bullshit

system right your

system is nonsense even the people that were experts

didn’t understand what the fuck was happening yeah

nobody saw this

fucking gigantic collapse coming nobody was

vocal about it please shut the fuck up

and then dems look to

energize women and

unions what does that even mean

how is that a

story it’s a number one

story bro look at that that’s the big one that’s the

picture and it’s some haggard

old chick who

hasn’t seen a dick in over a decade

and she’s talking

about running shit

you talking

about running

shit not one that was

still connected to a body talking

about running

shit you ain’t running nothing mom shut the fuck up

all right i’m

tired of these

crazy old bitches that want to run shit yeah it’s scary

oh meg whitman

christine o’donnell

no christine o’donnell

just because your vagina

doesn’t work anymore

doesn’t mean you get to be a man

you don’t get to run shit okay how dare you yeah you

heard me i’m

a man joe yeah you are a man i’m not talking

to you i was looking at you but i wasn’t talking to you

talking these

crazy broads that want to run shit man stop it

now the fucking the

what’s her name

fucking what’s her name

so if ellen didn’t wanted to become

president you would be

against ellen

becoming it’s um

i would vote

against her just

based on my talkings with greg fitzsimmons

what does he say

about ellen you have to talk to greg

fitzmiz oh hell no

i’d vote for

you know what i

would fucking vote for

ellen just for the absurdity i would

i would hope we would all

dance like on national flag day the

meg whipping lady

thinks that marijuana is a gateway drug

and that it

should not be legal

because if it is

more will get to our children

oh we’ve got to protect our children

i’m so tired of people being able to say

things like gateway drug

with no consequences like

that is a lie

that is nonsense that has been disproven by science

alcohol is far more of a gateway drug to bad decisions

than marijuana is

marijuana in

fact keeps a lot of people from ever trying dangerous

drugs because they get fucking paranoid yeah

you know they

think about it

because of marijuana they get paranoid if you’re gonna

start doing coke and

ecstasy and you’re

gonna do it anyway man

it’s out there

if you want it it’s there you

know it’s not hard to find pot

it’s out there it’s not

gonna change the ability

of kids to get pot they can get pot

everywhere i mean just

drive down the

street from my

house there is

five fucking medical marijuana stores

five of them in a row

and like two

blocks it’s pots everywhere

you telling me that pot is

you know it

doesn’t have a gps chip on it so the

twenty one year old dude who bought it

can’t sell it

at twice the

price to some

seventeen year old kid yeah

you know it’s fucking anybody can get it’s

everywhere pots just out there man

right it’s out there

you can’t fucking tell me

that there would be some sort of

a bad thing

that would come with making it

legal making people who are responsible

human beings

who want to do something to make themselves feel you’re

treating them like criminals

and you’re saying that that being a criminal is okay

but it’s okay for them to be a criminal

because they want to

relax and have a

plant that makes you feel

soothing and it makes sex better it makes food better

no you want them to be a criminal well

that’s just dumb

talk let’s look at the gateway drug idea

and if you think

about it in a culture

where all drugs

are lumped together

all illegal drugs are lumped together into one category

right some teenager

smokes pot for the

first time it’s like this is fucking awesome

holy shit drugs are

great it’s like no actually

drugs aren’t

great certain drugs are

great certain drugs are fucking

awful cocaine

is a i personally hate

it i have friends or fans of it but they’re annoying

someone on cocaine is really

annoying to be around

it’s too expensive i fucking

hate it and of course the free base form of it is

awful meth awful

heroin awful

these are terrible drugs

why are you lumping

them together

in with a drug

that only seems to have

mostly positive

effects on your life

outside of if you

smoke it way

way way too much and you get a foggy mind and

i don’t know

maybe you eat too much i

think you also

have to take into consideration that everyone

has a different

biological makeup

you know there’s

some people that get addicted to alcohol really

quickly there’s some people that are allergic to wheat

you know some people marijuana is not the best

thing for them but you know what

you know what this is the

thing though man

there was this one

girl there was a girl i

dated that she smoked weed

once and she took one hit

and within two minutes she

stood up ran full

speed into the bathroom

hit the bathtub and hit her head

head on the wall

and she just laid in the bathtub for like

three minutes and i was like what the fuck are you okay

and she said that she just got this instant

thing that she had to

stand up and run

and she didn’t even know

where she was she just

started running

and that was from one hit from weed

yeah but like how dumb

was she yeah but no

she wasn’t dumb she’s

fucking intelligence

really yeah

that’s bad you

think one hit

one hit look how good was the weed

ohio brickweed

bong really yes wow

well try giving a

skateboard to a nine year old

if you want to talk

about a dangerous

you give a kid a

skateboard you

sound like a propaganda

yeah yeah i’d love to see you in congress

i’m running for office mr trussell

how do you explain all of

these children

that smoked marijuana

and ran into the bathtub

and hit their heads

hey man it’s like

you know you can give a nine year old kid a

skateboard man

uh huh duly noted mr

trusso please please sit down take your seat

they’d be like listen

to this guy you’d be a huge fuck up for the cause

you’d be like when they made the

movie of the

story you would be the fucking the guy that

steve buscemi

would play and he

would get up and he

would be super

stoned forget what he was saying and he would say

hey man just like

you can’t give a nine year old a

fucking skateboard

well the whole

thing i mean

the whole thing

about keeping weed away from kids

you should i

think you should keep

all things that change kids


state there the

state of mind i

think it’s all

tricky it’s

very dangerous

i think it’s up in the air it

should be done i don’t

you have a father

you know i think you

should be introduced to alcohol by your father you’re

right can i just say something

just to go back a little bit

i’m not saying

we should give pot to kids i know you’re not

just blow it in

their face no we

should make

them buy it you shouldn’t give it away for free

they get the

wrong idea i

think for a lot of

kids earn it a lot of kids

going through a lot of

a lot of kids are

going through a lot of

weird shit when they’re growing

up i mean everybody is just the reality of becoming a

teenager and then

you know growing into manhood or womanhood

the fucking

freaky feeling like oh my god i’m

gonna have to take care of myself someday

and make my own money and

fucking feed myself and this is just too

crazy i don’t want to

leave my mom’s

house and this fucking

schools drive me nuts and

how much am i

gonna have to work once

i got a job if i’m working this hard when i’m in school

you know all that shit

could be overwhelming to kids you

know especially

young kids like 14 15

if you start

throwing pot in the mix too

that might send them off into the woods they

might careen them off

track and really fuck with

their head but what if you were six years old

watching sesame

street and you had this

magic guy come and go hey

would you like to look at this

stoned as a six year old

no man listen

when you’re six

years old your brain is

still developing i don’t

think it’s a good move

to introduce drugs into developing lines

first of all

i want to talk

about this magic guy this guy

i’m more interested

in the pot that’s what i would be

that’s what i would be doing if i

had a time machine i’ll be going back in time giving

myself weed would you when i was watching you

be so paranoid

you had to go back

in time into your life and do anything differently what

would you do differently

probably that

get myself snow i don’t know

is there any one instance from your

childhood that you would redo

you take back

probably throwing rocks at that cardinal

through rocks at

a bird yeah you hit it yeah yeah

little baby at a baby cardinal that was like retarded

or something like that but i was like six or

seven yeah i

think i’ve talked

about this before

yeah what about you duncan

see yeah once when i was a kid

i like went and my grandparents loved birds

and i had a bb gun

and my grandparents were out of town

and i like took the

drove their golf cart because they

drove around in a golf cart with like i’m on a

hunting safari into the backyard and just

shot a robin

right just killed a robin

and it fell

and it like spiral down and all the

other birds i’m like there’s bird feeders all over my

grandmother’s yard and a

statue of saints and

these birds are like dive bombing me they were

freaking out cause i killed one of them and they’re

freaking out and just

swirling around and

it was like i was mortified

and that’s definitely

something that i would go back on fish bombing too

where you used to take m80s and put it in fish’s

mouth you know like live fish and it would like

light them and then throw them off the roof of the

school at people oh my god you guys are sick fucks

where’d you get

these fish there’s a pond at our elementary

school that you

catch them yeah

we catch them

and we put them in

a bucket and oh my god you guys are a mess fish bombing

fish bomb yeah

that’s such a

fuck it was

great way to die

you imagine

your fish all

sudden you’re yanked out of your

world into an

alien world

stare at these

things these things are

laughing they

throw you in

a bucket you’re flopping around in a fucking bucket

swimming around in circles you can’t get out

but he takes you out of that bucket

shoves this big

giant dick in your

mouth yeah you know this

this explosive dick

lights it on

fire and you fly through the air and explode

that’s how you

leave this world

would also do squirrel baseball

where like the squirrels

would go up and okay you need to stop because

we’re gonna

start thinking

you’re a fucking serial killer

yeah then we

would then we

would do kitten crucifixion

so we would act out the

last scene in the

bible with kittens

have you ever strangled a frog

what it’s real

easy just put them in your

throat and just strangle it and look at

their face and then you’ve

killed a frog no i’ve

never killed a frog

just kidding

it’s disturbing i love frogs that’s one

thing i used to love i used to collect frogs

in our window well

you guys know what window wells are

yeah they’re like where the basement

windows are and they had a little sling

and the neighborhood we had

frogs would get

trapped in there

and so as a kid

i would take all

these frogs

and put them in buckets and the neighborhood

would have like a pet show

where you bring your pet and he’s like hoo

first place

second place

and i didn’t have a pet because my cat ran away

so i would take

my bucket of frogs

now i did that i put like little

things for them to

climb up and down and that was my pet

never won but

i was a frog freak

that’s all i wanted to say

about that frogs

i have frogs when i was a kid but

the thing about frogs is they got no rights

right you take a frog and

stomp on it

and nobody ever goes what happened to your frog go

i don’t know he died

right he’s bury that

bitch in the backyard yeah nobody ever does an autopsy

in your frog and go why does frog

have a crushed

skull what the fuck is going on

frog csi nobody gives a fuck you

could play baseball with frogs

you can throw frogs at each

other hit each

other with fucking frogs and the frogs

dying or paralyzed

nobody’s gonna arrest you toads

were pretty

badass toads were like you can

throw a toad at a dude in

front of a cop

and nobody would say shit

you can pick up a toad

and hurl them at a dude and hit the dude

and nobody be like what the fuck man

animal rights

animal right

a toad is a frog with herpes

you know how

they used to have

those like little bumps if you look

close and they’re all

just like warts here toads

are nowhere near the

water is that what it is

don’t know yeah yeah they’re dry

dry but this

whole licking a frog

thing did you ever do that

no did you ever

doesn’t work that

way when i was a kid i did

i don’t think i ever tripped

maybe i was

the way to do it

doesn’t everybody

thinks it’s lick the frog

no you have to

smoke it if

you lick it it’s just like eating it it’s not

gonna get into

it’s just like look dmt

when you your

brain makes it

your if you if you eat

sure has dmt in it dmt contains

whatever whatever it is

in your body your stomach

breaks it down it’s called

mono aiming

mono aiming oxidase

so when you’re taking dmt orally

your your stomach

kills it and it

never gets in your

bloodstream wow

so you have to smoke it

you can’t orally consume dmt

unless like the way they do it

in peru and the amazon

they make this

stuff called

ayahuasca you know what that is and with

ayahuasca what they’ve done is they put in one plant

they put one

plant that has dmt in it and another plant

that has an mao inhibitor

and that’s why it works

so you can’t

really lick a frog because if you lick a frog it

would just be like eating it it

wouldn’t work

so what you do is you take the frog

and you put it on a glass

you know and you make the frog excrete his body jizz

all over this

glass and this body just i guess is

certain animals that kills them kill

sheep if they eat

five m o d m

t kills them yeah

so you take any excreted on the

glass and then you

stick the glass in the sun and it

dries it out

and then you

scrape it off with a

razor blade and then you smoke it

how do you think

someone figured that

huh how’d they figure

out anything how’d they figure out how to eat lobsters

you know i mean yeah the lobster

i get i guess that makes

sense the lobster i get

but the thing

where you’re like ah

you know what

i wonder what this

jizz on the back of my frog does if i try and

smoke it let me see if i

stuck it up my ass

yeah how many steps were there before he

tried smoking yeah he had to figure it out right

i bet it’s fairly recent

i bet the smoking ant

off the frogs i bet it’s probably pretty recent

there’s a bunch of different types of dmt out there too

that was one of the

things they were talking about like

different people have different

experiences depending on what

they use when they make

ayahuasca because if they use syrian ru

i was listening to some guy talking

about this on the internet and some interesting

discussion about it

and if you use

syrian ru apparently

they have all this like

anunnaki imagery

and all this mesopotamia imagery

you get all this like it’s they all have

snakes that’s one

thing they share in common

but it’s when you get it from the amazon you see

black people and jaguars

you see like jungle themes you see like

plants and shit and like a big giant

but when you get it in

the the middle east

the stuff you’re

getting is all like fucking mesopotamia shit

it’s all like babylonia

all yeah cuneiform

tablets and that kind of

image and if

you get it in

the san fernando valley you see carl’s jr’s

traffic thank

you old cars with little tires yeah

yeah it’s a

the idea of

you know keeping

psychedelics from people by locking them up it is

amazing that they’ve been able to do that for that long

that they’ve been able to

keep them illegal

and then if people try to use them if you

want to use it for your own

edification for your own you know

your own experience it’s illegal

for you yourself to do something

some person will come and get you

and lock you in a cage

could you imagine if it was only us

look it was only the

three of us we’re the only people left on the earth and

we discovered

while we were here

that there’s some shit that makes you

experience like these incredible

states of consciousness and

you start having this wave of

creativity and these new ideas and it feels like

an incredibly intelligent alien

life forms communicating with you

and then we were like you can’t do that dude

you can’t do that if you do that we’re

gonna kill you or lock you in a cage

now we’re gonna contain you

yeah we can’t have you running around having that

experience and just running around

you’re not doing anything to anybody else

you’re getting it and then you’re doing

it and if you do it and you test positive for it you’re

against the law

well let’s imagine

that let’s say

just in this

house there was

a creature in a

weird outfit

that if he caught any of us smoking pot

would come and

grab us and take us to a certain part of the

house and put us in a rape cage

we would stop that animal

kill it you’d

kill you’d be like you know what the

thing that’s taking us and putting us in the rape cage

there’s only one of them and there’s

three of us so i don’t want to go in the rape cage

again can we please make it can you can you

can we get rid

of the guy who takes us into the rape cage

yeah it’s like

we’re trying

to be enlightened here and we keep getting raped

yeah exactly

well yeah we’ll try though

you fucking take peyote

and communicate with the

spirit world and someone keeps

throwing me in a cage of some big

black dude wants to fuck me

what the hell man

why does it have

to be a black dude why because they probably

would win more often

why the better rapers

athletes oh man

yeah it’s a it’s a it’s a real confusing situation and

whenever you hear

you know lee

baca talking

about how he’s just

gonna keep arresting people or any time you hear

or like in mexico and they’re like

they just found

500 tons of marijuana did you hear

about that yeah

biggest cash crop ever

that they hauled in

they busted

yeah it’s just it’s just

i mean good less mexican weed that

stuff sucks

your weed sucks

if your weed was good you

wouldn’t be

shooting each other yeah

that’s true

mexican weeds the worst

no brazilian weeds the

worst when i was in brazil we got some weed it was

like a little

it was like almost like particle

board it was like a little brick

a little thin

very tightly compact brick

and you had to

break it off and then

smoke it and it tasted like shit and it

smelled like shit

and you barely got high

it’s like a cousin of high

it wasn’t like real high nothing like we have here you

would thank god these people are living in the forest

the rainforest rather

beautiful tropical paradise you know easy

would be for them to grow weed

they keep it illegal

i thought it was in bahamas to same

thing about really bahamas

shit isn’t that amazing

what the fuck is that about man

you know i mean how do they not

rebel against that prostitution is legal in brazil

cage fighting is everywhere

yeah that’s the birth of valley tudo

fighting the birth of no rules fighting

and somehow another they keep party legal

it’s interesting well yeah i mean it’s the big

it’s the elephant in the room everywhere it’s just

that to me is the

criteria through which you can measure

how far a society has advanced is

their relationship with psychoactive drugs

says everything because

it’s like anyone who does a psychoactive drug knows

you it’s fun

it is fun this is the part of the podcast

where always click off i was hoping you would

about the past ufc

it’s very clear now to me

he’s a hippie faggot

yeah and he wants to talk

about his fucking

pro drug bullshit

that’s the only reason why we’re talking

about drugs at all is

because drugs are part of life that’s the only reason

if drugs weren’t drugs if they were

if there were some new word it’s

it’s a part of life and a fucking significant one yep

i know it’s a gateway drug

everyone does

fucking gateway drugs god damn it

everything’s a gateway drug

milk is a gateway job to cookies

it’s you know

it is yeah drink some milk

like awesome

would be enough cookies in this shit the next

thing you’re eating cookies the milk got you to

eat cookies cookies are bad for you yeah cookies have

sugar in it you’re

gonna get diabetes you’re

gonna fucking die

young we should

be allowed to

smoke or eat cookies whenever we want yeah

that’s right bitch

there’s people that want to

mandate against

fatty foods they

want to say that

foods shouldn’t have a certain amount of calories or

fat content

or you know bad oils or whatever fuck that man

if it tastes good just let me know what it’s

gonna do to me if i eat it i’ll make my own

decision this is your spacesuit

you get to run whatever fuel you want through it it

doesn’t matter what it is and

if sometimes that fuel kills you

tough shit tough

shit tough shit

that’s the way it goes that’s what i say

let’s say give me it all man

leave it on the table

let’s fucking sort it all out

i don’t want my kids to get hooked on it neither do you

right good so let’s educator

fucking kids

all right let’s educate

our kids and let’s

get rid of the scumbags that want to push it on kids

get rid of people that are you know

don’t make it

don’t make it

legal to sell to children don’t make it legal to

give them propaganda that makes them

think the drugs are good

but you know the

whole idea behind locking anyone up for doing anything

that they want to do as long as they’re informed and of

age yeah we do what you want to do man

if you want to

start smoking crack

in two thousand and ten

if you’re like a

successful person

who’s got a good business and a nice family like

always wanted to try crack

i just don’t

you know i mean i see new jack city it’s so appealing

i know it sounds

crazy but there’s just like this part of me

that’s been missing something and i

think it might be

crack yeah i

wanna try crack once

i don’t think i’m

gonna wind up in a fucking

crack house with no money

i mean come on mike i’m sigma

five we went to

school together

we played lacrosse

i’m not a crackhead

i just wanna try

crack julie

doesn’t want me to do it but i told her hi don’t worry

that’s not happening

no why not i did it why not

you did do crack

man we talked

about this before

how did that feel you’ve done it too no i

haven’t yeah you have no i

haven’t but

i did i did um when i was

why are you

saying that he didn’t because he acts like a crackhead

when i was in

that really offensive

you are ruthless with your cut downs brian

you know they

come so fast and so

unexpected and they’re so

powerful when they land

yeah it’s just incredible you really

thank god you doing

comedy again

haha they still coming

again he knows i’m doing

no i don’t ruthless

brian i’m just kidding you

heard him but i have i have bought crack

i when i was really yes when i was

when i was living i

bought it once i fucking do it away i didn’t even want

it when i was in

i looked at him like what the fuck is this i’m gonna do

crack come out really guys

guys really

i just moved to la

and my landlord was a crackhead

and he had a friend who would do

crack with him now

i didn’t know

i knew that he was into drugs i didn’t know it was

crack and his friend was over and his friend said to me

you have a cop to

a rock before

and i i swear to god

i didn’t know what he meant but i wanted to seem cool

so i was like no

never copped a rock

i wasn’t sure what he meant he’s like

give me a ride

so i he’s like

drive up here turn

right i turned

right drive around the corner

drove around the corner

we pull up in

front of a house

these two fucking

gangsters come running out of the

house i don’t know what it is but they’re automatically

screaming at him they’re like you

stupid motherfucker

you fucking

idiot don’t just fucking pull up here

they throw crack into the car

he gives them money

i’m like that’s when i was like oh you moron

what did you

think this was

drove back you know like really what do you think

and drove back

and him and my landlord proceeded to smoke

crack together

and that’s the only time i ever seen anyone

smoke crack

shitty smells

smells like burning plastic

the guy’s face got all pale

and he was like

if i have a

heart attack call 911 wow


well no i didn’t suck i remember the

first time i ever saw someone smoking

crack and it was like on hbo or something

like that it’s like some sort of a documentary

and while the guy was smoking

crack i was like

look at him he’s fine

he’s not even

going crazy

i thought you

smoke crack like

what the fuck man

you just get

crazy the guy just smoking

crack he’s just sitting there and i’m like how high

could he possibly be a

speedy high that’s all it is like

feeling speedy

you feel better

well you just chose

speedy if you like that kind of

thing it was not my thing

is it like coffee

no it’s like doing cocaine

it’s like doing cocaine

pretty much

it reminded me of exactly of doing cocaine

that’s pretty much what it was

wow never done it

never done it

dodge that bullet don’t do it

i’m not going to i think you might be

what the fuck research

no i’m not i’m not interested hanging at the i don’t

see any cocaine

advocates i don’t see any cocaine people going this

i made it because of cocaine

cocaine is responsible

for most of my

energetic decisions

most of my drive most of my wisdom

when i innovate

hang out at a

beach town you’ll

start getting in that

group of people that

would like no i prefer cocaine

when i go out you know it’s a nice drug

you have those people that are selling it to like

civilized people

cocaine people always one up

shooting each other

they just get

crazy cocaine

relationships cocaine people

they just get to that fucking

point that goodfellas point

like when that fucking

chick throws the the

basket ray liotta

that she’s cooking the coke for when she

throws the basket

she’s mad at them

they always get to that i was

i was just talking

about this i

this one of one of the

first girls i

dated was in asheville

north carolina and

i met her in this little

cafe because she was sitting they just done cocaine

and she was sitting next to this blonde girl

and the blonde girl’s like all coked up and she’s like

we’re gonna run this town oh

no it’s like a

small mountain town

oh that’s great we’re

gonna run asheville

it’s like six hundred

population oh that’s hilarious

yeah but that’s what it does asheville

supposed to be really cool it’s

the coolest city ever

really and it

keeps getting cooler and cooler and cooler wow

every time i go back there

it’s just gotten more interesting and more subversive

and cool really yeah it’s a really cool place

we should do comedy there you and me

i’d love it yeah let’s do it

yeah there’s a club up there let’s book it okay talking

trump so we’re

going on the road all

right do it

that’ll be a

good one for you too you’re acting so fucking

weird it’ll fit

right in with

those hippies

oh there i mean it’s not hippies it’s anarchists

up there it’s everybody

yeah it’s every it’s just

a mix of like i don’t

know what kind of anarchists you’re talking

about i believe there’s a lot of

environmental liberation

front type people

but i’m not i’m not positive

about that so

those guys are

crazy douchebags

the problem with

you know though they’re really really

radical organizations like almost

all of them even though change does need to occur

at the very top like if you get

to the top of peta and you find out how fucking nutty

these guys are

yeah you know you get to the top of any of these like

major like what is that animal

liberation organization

is that what it is

well it’s the people who let

the animals free

there’s a lot of people that don’t even

think that animals

should be pets

that all animals

should be free to go

where they want that you shouldn’t

be keeping them locked up in cages and yards yeah

there’s some

there’s some that’s

great animals just running dogs running around fucking

everywhere tell my chihuahua

mayor cutie she shouldn’t be a pet

that would be cool though you’ll get like a new dog

every day but

which kind of dog i’m

gonna hang out with

today oh there’s a golden retriever hey

doggy come over yeah

it’s really

twisted out here

where i live because

there’s a lot of coyotes i see coyotes all the time

which is a really strange

thing it’s like the cousin to a dog like a dog didn’t

quite make it

you know into the

group got cast on the outside of man

and now it just

follows around and man encroaches on its territory

so it comes in and eats cats and shit every now

and then and dogs yeah cats

big dogs man

there’s a story when

i when i used to go to this

pet store near my

house there was a guy used to work there that

trained dogs and he had this dog

that he worked as a

veterinarian’s assistant

this dog got brought into him

that was just

covered in fucking cuts it was horrendous

they had to put the dog

under and it was it was

a big pit bull like a 90

pound pit bull

and they were like what

did this to this dog like he must have gotten a big dog

fight with a

bunch of dogs like this dog is

like covered with hundreds and hundreds of

wounds and okay like

hours of stitches who knows how many

so they take the dog and they

stitch them up they put them in the

veterinarian’s hospital

and they go back to the

scene of the

crime to figure out what the fuck happened

and they follow like a trail of

blood and like

some they see some

scuffle into the

wood so they go and figure out what the fuck happened

and there they find nine

dead coyotes fuck

and what what they do is

one coyote will come out

and they’ll show themselves

and then the dog will see

that and bark at it and the coyote will look like he’s

gonna run and the dog will have instincts to chase

and the coyote will run

and the dog will chase

after him and as he chases

after him then

they ambush him with the rest of the pack

so they ambush this pitbull

and it killed nine coyotes

jesus christ

could you imagine

the look on the coyotes faces

when this fucking

thing is coming

i can’t bring that dog

over here we’re

gonna fuck them up mikey

we’re gonna fuck them up

this is it bitch

you want some

pussy you want some coyote

pussy i’m waiting

big giant fucking

fire hydrant head

muscles for

crushing things

built into its fucking skull

look at the skull of a big male pitbull

yeah brian what are you doing what turn the volume back

the volumes and

the headphone vine what happened i

haven’t changed anything you just did something no

my volume just jacked

oh you’re just adjusted something it’s the headphones

it was i was just turned down the headphone

okay all right

point it didn’t affect that podcast point is

the dude you know

dog tried to kill coyotes whatever

coyotes try to kill the dog

man that’s that’s

that’s a stupid fucking coyote

like it’s like

here’s what you do roger

you’re gonna see

a chihuahua

maybe they just think dogs man they think dogs are soft

but you know what pit bulls are not regular dogs those

things are engineered

first of all to fight through pain

to not worry

about their own instincts they were

the ones that

worry about their own instincts they don’t let breed

when the dogs

quit when the dogs give up they realize this

other dog superior

they never let that dog

breed a lot of times they kill him

you know it’s pretty fucked up

but what it makes at the end of the day is this

crazy fucking

monster animal

that will do anything

you know the

pit bulls are like

that is the last dog you want coming

after you man

no shit and like there’s

a guy in our neighborhood walks his fucking pit bull

off leash yeah he told me

about that oh it’s

awful it’s like most of them are

great and people like

him you know a lot of people get scared my dog’s great

yes most of them are great

yeah but you have to recognize

the potential for destruction if you got a nutty one

their brains also swell

no i think that’s

bullshit oh

no dog does that no it’s all silliness

they’re fucking

crazy dogs well they are

sweet though anytime i’ve been around someone’s pitbull

it’s the sweetest dog ever i’ve

never everyone always says that no it’s the

sweetest dog ever it’s

not like all of them and then just takes one bad day

and it’s like okay it’s

crazy like yeah they’re nuts man i’ve had a

bunch of them

i’ve had three of them four of them

one of them got distemper

and the other ones

those they was all

fighting they

fight they let they get mad at each

other and you know if you have you know

more than one

they get together sometimes and they just

settle arguments and one of them

doesn’t want to back down next

thing you know you got a dead dog ah

and these dogs

loved each other and

lived together all the time you

should lick each

other and play together

we wanted to kill each other

yeah it’s horrible but this just that’s what it is man

just what it is

you know they’re engineered to fight

you know and that’s the problem

they’re engineered to not have like normal

alpha beta interactions

where you know the beta gives up and the

alpha dominates and

leaves them

alone no they

fight to the

death all right they just go

after it you know

sometimes i

would come home

and they’d be all bloody so they worked it out

you know michael i’m glad you assholes

worked this out you know and i

would just assume it probably

never happened again

yeah of course it

would gross

yeah well it’s you know it’s it’s a fucking

scary thing when you think

about what a dog really

is because a dog is just some fucking animal that

could kill you that you control

you know you got a dog like that

right any dog that

can kill nine type nine coyotes

what a fantastic

scene that must have been

coming up on that scene

just carnage

just coyote guts and coyote

faces jaws half hanging off

you know mean think

about what that

thing must have done to

those coyotes

and they just bite down i’m tearing skin and he’s not

even paying attention he’s just jacking the next one

rage frosting

rage it’s probably hard

man i had this really

spooky fucking

thing happened in my neighborhood where

i was walking my dog and this weirdo came up to me

and he’s like

you should be

careful with your dog there’s a lot of coyotes

in this neighborhood that have been killing animals

and it was like

he didn’t need to tell me that like i

understand it was just this

weird gaunt guy

and i started

thinking like is that

a serial killer i just run into a serial killer is like

maybe just a nice guy wants to look out for your dog no

cause he said he like says you know i’ve got

was he whispering this into your ear yeah

he said he got

problems yeah i kind of pointed to

things like you know i’ve got problems but i coyote

attacks lately

and you know

like when you’re around somebody you kind of get the

senses a bad person like you

right it was

something else was

wrong with him and then

i remember walking up the


and there was just like

a limb of an animal

i don’t know if it was a

rabbit or what

the fuck it was but some limb that he gotten

chomped off so i

guess he’s right

i don’t know if that had anything to go

maybe he did it

what limb like

a dog’s limb yeah it was like a foot

of a dog yeah i

think it was a dog

yeah dude it’s no joke man coyote

snatched him

right off leashes yeah

in brentwood a friend of mine was living in brentwood

he was walking his dog and the coyote came and took it

right off his fucking

leash and ran with it

just snatched it came by and

snatched it and ran away with his dog

screaming and yiping

it’s out of his hands and he’s running

after it and he can’t do a goddamn thing

about it instead

my dog was a

puppy actually was worried

about it so there was a lot of falcons that were just

just hang out

in front of my

thing and they

would like come down real

close i’m like okay hawks

or hawks yeah

come inside now i

think don’t even live in this country do they

foul falcons

america what am i talking

i don’t know i

think so either way birds of prey

were you the one that posted that

thing of the

giant eagle

that didn’t kill the animal but pushes it off a

cliff and then goes down and eats it goats

yeah they grab goats and drag them off the side of the

cliff and drop them awesome

it’s insane dude

eagles are ruthless

motherfuckers dude

they are so

scary the idea i mean it’s a flying dinosaur

that’s really what it is

i mean they have the same

mentality that a dinosaur would have

right i mean when they

say that birds

they say that birds are the descendants of dinosaurs

right whatever survived

the big yucatan

meteor impact

asteroid impact

whatever survived

whatever you know

animal dinosaur species

they eventually

evolved into birds that’s the theory

right isn’t it yep

so that’s the theory

chickens grow fangs

every once in a

while right

that’s the thing that

chickens do yeah yeah

and so if that’s the theory then you gotta

think that the really ruthless ones that we have today

you know like

eagles and shit like that

they were probably some

nasty ass fucking

flying little dinosaur reptile

thing that made it

that lived through the holocaust

of some gigantic

chunk of iron and rock

slamming into the

earth at 45 000

miles an hour

these ruthless little cunts

lived and became eagles

they were the only

ones that live what a fucked up way to kill things too

they fly out of the sky

they’re like dragons

man yeah they look like they have

dragon claws and shit they don’t spit out fire but that

you take away all the feathers and shit if they didn’t

have feathers and you looked at them for what they were

underneath that pretty

soft exterior of

the feathers

that’s a nasty scaly

you know gray looking lizard

thing that flies

that’s what it is

i mean we think of them as being soft and almost

being a million

you know i’m saying

those are lizard

things yeah

those aren’t like

like like any fucking mammal

that’s a creepy

alien looking lizard

thing with dead eyes

those eyes don’t give a fuck

about you and they come swooping out of the sky to

snatch fish out of the water

and fly with them and pull

eagles are pull a rather

goats off the side of a fucking

cliff and drop them

just ruthless cunts they’re like little fucking devils

little flying

demons the noble

eagle i take offense at you

disparaging our a

just evil flying lizard

snatches fucking shit out of sky eating

babies they probably eat

babies i bet there’s definitely been a baby that got

snatched up by an eagle of course

there’s a fucking cool video in

alaska people are in

their yard and they have this yard that’s all this

grass in it yeah and they throw out some fish

like you know that after they made fillets

they throw it like heads and all sorts of you know

extra fish that they have

and these eagles come out and they’re all eating in

their yard and they’ve got like fucking

i don’t know 20

30 boys all

the eagles eating the salmon in their yards like whoa

this is nuts man

these crazy fucking

demons with pretty feathers

that would be cool

get really stoned and watch an eagle feast

go on your backyard

fuck yeah it would yeah it would

you know seeing any natural

any animal in

its natural habitat must be fucking incredible you know

you run into a bear if you actually did run into a bear

i ran into a bear at yellowstone

but it didn’t feel like it was a natural

environment because they were coming up to cars

and it was obvious that

these bears

had been coming up to cars before so it almost

like the zoo

it didn’t feel real and they

would tell you not to feed them but people were

still feeding them they were like

opening their window a

crack this is like

the 70s i did this when i was a little kid

you know and i remember

thinking like this is just like the zoo like this isn’t

until we went to sleep

we were in our

sleeping bag

and we were camping and it was me and

i think it was just me and my stepdad no no it’s a

whole family

so we’re camping in yellowstone and

i slept through the

whole thing

but apparently they

heard some banging around and shit

and we got up

there in the morning and the cooler had been torn open

and all the food had been eaten

and there was paw

prints all over the car

so this bear was just

feet away just feet away from us

sleeping inside some little baggie

we’re basically like a little dinner in a baggie

the whole family is in this baggie

but these bears are so conditioned to being around

wasteful humans and

sloppy humans

that they just look for food that way

they’re conditioned to go look in your cooler that’s

where the food is

it’s not like let’s

start eating people

but if they did

they’d be like holy shit

this is way better

they’re in the bag they can’t even get out of the bag

you just start eating them you just jump in

and start eating they can’t get away

they could do that they were

right outside our door

ripping shit

apart so strong they

could tear apart a cooler rip it open

stomped all over the car

big ass paw prints

that’s to me that’s like one that really is a shitty

death is getting i mean

like it’s an obvious to say but

compared to

other deaths

getting killed by an animal

yeah how about

the guy that just got killed by a goat what is that

i saw the link but i didn’t

click on it what is that

goat jabbed him in the leg and it penetrated

one of his arteries and he bled out that’s bad luck

well the goat

apparently was

super aggressive

they had problems with this goat before

and they had done

things to try

to condition the goats stay away from people

so they would go near the goat and

shoot it with

a bean bag gun and shit

and that made the goat even more douchey

because goats are stubborn as fuck goats don’t

learn what they

should have done is

shot it with a gun

that’s what they

should have done

you got a goat that’s cunting wants to jack people yeah

let’s just kill this fucking goat all

right there’s plenty of

other goats why

we take a chance what a

weird job go

shoot the goat with a

bean bag go

bully the goat

so that the

goat is scared of people what is this a petting zoo

yeah it’s the mountains

oh it’s in the mountains

yeah it’s in the mountains

so a guy’s in the

mountains and a goat comes

up and just

stabs his leg and then

fucking goes

after him gets him in the leg the guy’s fucked

and then the goat won’t let people take away the body

the goats standing

over him always moaning you know he hasn’t died yet

so he’s lying on his ground and they can’t shoo

the goat away so they

can save the

guy how big is this go i know i mean goats aren’t that

small goats goats i’m

not afraid of a goat though you

never say that bro that goat will

fuck you up

it’s a wild i’ve been

around a lot of goats you

haven’t been around a wild mountain i’ve

never been around a mountain goats are

scary dude those things are

strong as fuck you ever see how they can

climb up beside a mountains

they climb on mountains i mean

like this like this incredible

pitch it’s like a fucking 60 degree

angle they’re

climbing straight up a mountain

how the fuck are they doing

this so that’s the height of absurdity like if you

think about as that man was laying there

going into shock

and contemplating

his whole life the situation

going from being you know

like oh look

oh my god mary look it’s a goat

oh wait the goats come ah

jesus fucking christ

oh my god i’m

bleeding i can’t get the go

i’m getting weak

did i just get killed by a goat

i just got killed by a goat

grab my goat’s dick and run

yeah that’s so absurd to

think about that that’s very strange how long in all of

human history

how many humans have been killed by a goat

probably a lot

it’s probably pretty

small it’s small

you know what’s

the biggest

thing in this country for farm animals pigs

pigs kill more people than any

other farm animal

have you seen jack

s3d yet no but

apparently what

happens with pigs is they’ll eat anything

and if you’re feeding pigs and you fall into the

place they just

start jacking you yeah there’s

my parents have a place

on this like little island off the

coast of georgia that’s got wild pigs

and those things will kill you

like they’re dangerous wild pigs

especially cause they always have

babies and if you get it’s the same

thing if you get around

their babies they’ll

they’ve got tusks

they’ll bite you and they’re

filthy so the bite will get infected

pigs are dangerous feral

pigs are dangerous

feral pigs are

scary because feral

pigs change you know the

story that if you get like a pink pig it’s

in a farm and it’s kept

well and fed well

they have a certain appearance to them

well when they get

loose within

three weeks

their body starts to change

it’s a very strange phenomena

the idea of

a farm animal

is like an embryonic

stage and all it has to do is

think that it has to

fend for itself

and then it becomes this different

thing it’s like some new chemical gets released

and its fur becomes

thick and hairy

like thick and like

darker and then its tusks grow

it literally changes the animal

it’s a fascinating

metamorphosis yeah

and it happens within

three weeks

within three weeks of the animal

becoming feral

they just get

loose and then they

start morphing

fucking nutty shit that’s naughty naughty shit

like what’s happening there

what’s that saying

about people

you know are we not

reaching our

full potential because we get our food from a


and you know are we

you know what i’m saying are

we set up that way that’s a

great like weird sci fi idea

which is like

a spaceship

finally makes it out of the

earth’s gravitational

field and gets a certain distance away from

earth and the people on the

spaceship start

changing like

their bodies

start elongating

right they turn into aliens

oh my god they

morph they morph yeah

wow like if you go into

space that’s the next stage yeah

that’s the next

stage it’s like the aquatic worm jumping into

the pawn to give yes faces the next

stage we’re just like

here we’re just like

squashed aliens like the gravity

squashed us down

when we get off the planet you know there’s certain

salamanders that

never reach

adulthood unless

certain environmental

conditions are in place

like weather

conditions or

no like temperature

moisture you know certain

conditions have to be in

place otherwise

they stay in the immature

phase their entire life

right how fascinating

would that be if that’s what the

thing with humans is is once you get off the earth

once you go into space

then the different gravity and environment of space

allows your

to knock out of the

human shell and become

this next thing the

third eye starts

secreting we already know that

right because the

people in the

space station be

smart as fuck

no people that got back from the

space station

would be dropping science i know

aren’t the people in the space

station are still

on the they’re

still in the gravitational what ifs

there’s a lot of what ifs

every week man

i blame the weed

what if man if we go to

space we turn into a frog and then you

smoke yourself bro

what the fuck wants to suck my dick should i let him

that chip seemed pretty happy

so i was on this

flight to london

and melanie griffith was on the flight

and melanie griffith is a very nice lady she seems very

sweet like she

smiles at everybody she’s like she seems nice

and i was thinking man

this is melanie griffin like you know i remember her

old school from like the eighties

you know some of those

movies that she was in

you know i remember

when she played i mean even recently when she played

in the thing about

the guy who william

randolph hearst what was the

movie about

was it called it was

about him it was

about the construct

the making of rosebud

or the making of

citizen kane it was

orson welles

was in it and it was all

about how crazy

william randolph

hearst was and she played his wife

like she’s like such a good actor you know

actress so anyway she’s she’s on this

plane and i

ate a pot cookie like

two hours before the flight i figured like

i’ll eat it in the car

over there and then

right when i get on

board it’ll kick in

and it was way too strong

why would you do that way too strong

get that it was so

strong dude it was so

strong i was

breaking down my entire life i was

thinking about

everything i’ve ever done

every every negative

thing that i’ve ever done

every positive

thing that i’ve ever done

and then i started

thinking about the possibility of endless

the universes

the possibility of

every single choice leads

you into another parallel universe that you don’t even

feel the distance

you don’t even feel the difference in the

switch over i

started thinking all this

crazy shit and i

started thinking

about mortality i

started thinking

about energy and life and i was just

couldn’t i couldn’t function

i was curled up in the fetal position

i was so i was so adrift i was so high

that i really seriously considered pissing my pants

really because i had to go

i had to pee

but i didn’t

wanna get up

so i thought i just pissed my pants

i had i thought that that was a real consideration

for a whole second

for a whole

second i was like i

found the solution i was

going through my possibilities

i wanna i wanna pee okay i don’t

wanna get up what is the option so i just pissed myself

i was like i knew i had to pee

but my brain

that’s all my

brain was like that’s all well and good

but you you can’t get up there’s no way you can get up

we need to stay in this spot yeah

so i got up and then i peed and then i thought

about like how

ridiculous it is that i even thought about that

so i’m sitting in this

bathroom you

know looking out this little

round window

at you know it’s turning dark now

and i’m seeing fucking street

lights and shit and i’m 30 000 feet up and i’m fucking

flying dude i’m gone

i am a wash

in a river of information and it’s flowing by so

quick i can’t grab any of it

and i have to

pay attention to what i’m doing because i’m on

white water

rapids and i’m

if i don’t pay attention i’m

gonna hit a rock

of consciousness that i might

never recover from

you know i’m saying

i gotta keep it together that’s how high i am

so i go back to my seat and i lie down

again back in the fetal position

after i’m done peeing and

the seats are

all staggered like they’re not in a straight line

you know it’s not like everybody’s head is at the same

place everybody’s feet are in the same

place well four

hours into the flight everybody

starts to go to sleep i’m

so high i can’t do

anything i’m just laying there just hoping this is just

going to eventually

come back to normal and i don’t have to

think like this for the rest of my life because i’m not

going to be able to

enjoy anything because i’m

going to overthink everything

and so as i’m

thinking this

i look over and i noticed that this

guy is sitting in

this one seat right here

and he’s this big fat guy and

right where his ass is

directly across the aisle

is melanie griffith’s head

it’s three feet away

it’s three feet away and this guy

is sleeping

okay and melanie griffith is

sleeping this guy

doesn’t even have a

blanket on okay and

i got my headphones on okay i’m listening to some

music i’m trying to writing on the computer

and this guy

opens his ass

i mean opens his ass on melanie griffith’s head

her head was

right across the aisle

it was only

three feet away

he just shit in her head

it was no blanket to contain the

blast radius

it was just she wake up dude she

didn’t say nothing no one said nothing there’s no way

she didn’t know what happened

there’s no way i don’t

know if she realizes this guy just shit in her head

because she was facing the

other direction

she was probably like oh my god someone’s disgusting

but she has no idea that really she just got shot upon

that is awesome

dude this guy

is not even wearing fucking a

blanket man

he’s just got his sweaty

dress slacks

and it’s just a

poorly maintained

lid to a biological

sewer that’s not very well

maintained either

and this guy probably had

all kinds of fucked up food and

you know just

burgers and

shit he’s fat man he’s got this big fat face

and he just

just fucking unloads it was horrible man

it was horrible

and you know

it was him because he’s the fat guy and this

no one gets

discriminated more than fat guys when somebody farted

you know black people get blamed when shit gets

stolen and chinese

people when they’re in a car accident they get blamed

nobody gets blamed more

than if somebody farted and there’s a fat guy

right that’s just immediately

even though we all know some very

skinny people that have some horrible fucking gas

it doesn’t matter

yeah the fat guys got to be worse

he shit right in mailing griffin’s head

did she move around no one moved he did though he

moved he adjusted

after he farted

he moved and adjusted i was like you


i saw him move so i knew he was conscious

while it all happened

but his back

was turned so he was pretending that nothing was real

he was turned into a seat so he was

facing a little wall

but he could just pretend nothing

but he had to

know he farted

on he opened

up on purpose dude he opened up he didn’t like

the feeling oh you

think this is like

a vengeance

no but it would be

funny if he did

imagine if they set it up this way

imagine if it was like the guy came out to

melanie griffith’s

agent it’s like i have

a billion dollars i made in the software industry

and i have but one wish

i want to fart

on melanie griffith i have a and he had this idea and

they were like well you know

first of all we’re gonna

you know even to

bring it to melanie’s desk

we’re gonna need to talk numbers

this guy’s like

five million dollars only to pay five million dollars

to fart in melanie griffiths

face it’s the role of her lifetime and so no no no

they had to figure out how are we

gonna do this okay melanie is not gonna

agree to just

let you fart in her face man

this is just this is not

gonna work this way

what we need to do is get you guys both on an airplane

that’s the only way you’re

gonna be about

three feet from her head i mean you can’t be farting

right on her head

but you’re gonna be

three feet away and we’ll

seat it so that your ass lines up with her face

and you get the fart on

take it from there

maybe her agent

did the whole thing

he’s taking all the money

he said all up

maybe it’s always for this guy’s wish

maybe she has a

super sophisticated enemy

and that’s all he’s been doing her whole life is paying

guys to fart

i farted on an old woman at starbucks a couple weeks

did you it was one of the

greatest things ever she was right behind you totally

right behind me

it was one of those where i was just

gonna do a little quick i thought was gonna be a

quiet nice one but it just was like

super super loud and

powerful oh my god it was loud yeah it was

super loud and powerful and very embarrassing and i

remember looking

at her i kind of like looked back like 10

seconds later just kind of

did a little look back to see what was

going on and

she did not seem like mad she looked kind of concerned

like almost like me with

was that me oh

no her face

looks so confused to exactly what i thought it was

gonna that’s

awful she thought she shit herself

that must be the

worst feeling ever when you’re incontinent

just walking around your body

doesn’t contain its

bowels anymore and your

urine leaks out and like ugh

yeah it’s pretty

gross when these things

start melting down man

you know it’s

funny how kids don’t give a shit if you

watch them pee

you don’t feel bad

about peeing and pooping and

everything like that

it’s not like there’s no

shame in it

and so my daughter is

learning how to

potty train

so she’s getting out of the diaper stage

but occasionally she just makes a mistake

and so she’s

sitting in her high

chair and she has to pee

she thinks about it

while she was some kind of piss

like an incredible amount of pee

is dripping

off the high

chair it’s on the ground

and she’s like what happened she was i peed

you know it’s

not bothering i go

why didn’t you tell me you have to go

she was i forgot

like oh okay but isn’t that

that’s the basis of freudian

psychology is the way your

parents handle

you’re shitting yourself exactly

so i go oh okay

i go old next time that happens

maybe we should

make sure before you go in the high

chair you use the potty

she’s like okay probably

she says shit like that

that’s us yeah

john come middle no yeah

yeah and there’s a lot of

maybes yeah

maybe like maybe we can get ice cream

you know i was like

it’s a lot of like have you trying to

steer the conversation a certain way

yeah very manipulative of it too that’s awesome

have you taken the

i’m sitting on my toilet

photo for her

so she can use it in her facebook in 15 years

no i’m not gonna

allow her to have facebook wait how many terabytes

let me ask how many

terabytes of


of kids sitting on toilets are on facebook like two

two or three that’s such a it’s

so cute that’s the

thing that kills

single people

i have one people that have

babies in a

month i have one of me holding glamour

magazine sitting on the toilet

naked really

glamour magazine

is there any more overused premise than the

woman’s magazine

do they have a

story left to tell

i mean is there a new sex

trick to keeping your man

how to keep europe the passion in

the bedroom

i mean who has exhausted a genre more

than like cosmo muscle

no but men’s

magazines always have a new way to get a six pack

that’s true

every third men’s

magazine or second men

every other

month it’s like

new way to obtain the six pack of a marine

yeah there’s something very

homoerotic about

those bodybuilding magazines

there’s something very homoerotic

about the admiration of a man’s physique

you know look at this guy

motherfuckers get the best thighs

yeah you know something but look at the striations

in the ass and then the

lower back with the christmas tree in the

lower back the

striations are incredible

i mean he did

still a tremendous

job striation

tremendous job in

you know you

cutting the

water out so you

could really

see the muscle i mean it’s a very beautiful beautiful

sculpture he made his body into

why not just go suck his dick buddy

you know what i’m saying like there’s something

weird about it but

on the other hand it’s like i recognize your

desire to have an insane

body like why not go do it if that’s what you’re into

and you get

ooze and ottas out of it and people

think you’re special because of it i totally get it but

there’s a difference between wanting to have an insane

body and then like talking

about a christmas tree on someone’s back a term i

never heard in my life

well there was a dude who

used to be a huge bodybuilding fan this is back when i

lived in boston he was one of my students

when i was teaching martial

arts he was a huge bodybuilding fan but he was fat

i never understood it

the dude was like seriously fat

and i was like well i

guess he was

really fat at one

point then he got into bodybuilding

and then he

started slowly losing

weight because he wanted to have a physique like that

so but he never lost

any weight i just like was just a fat guy i always talk

about bible you see the latest thing and

lee haney’s incredible or

i don’t know who

those though

you know i think it was

who was it the who’s the mr

olympia back in that day i really have no idea

but this but

he was and i was like

how come you know i mean are

you into bodybuilding like do you bodybuild yourself

and he’s like well i did you know

i lift a little weights i lift i just try to keep in

shape i’m just i just admire what they do

i don’t like whoa

okay there’s something

weird about that

something weird

about you fixating on

other dudes

bodies you’re a fan

of what they’re doing to

their bodies

but you don’t even do anything to your own

like you just like to stare at

their improvement

like wow look

at his back

that is a hilarious character

his backs incredible yeah it is hilarious character

right like a guy who’s not gay at all

but he’s just like

super into like

really really into men’s body development like

you go to his office and it’s just got like framed

pictures of muscular guys and he’s just like i respect

their work yeah come here let

me show you something joe look at that christmas tree

that’s a terrible term

i’ve never heard that yeah they called it the

lower back yeah yeah

this guy this guy told me the christmas tree this guy

back one of my students was like

she’s got that christmas tree in his

lower back yeah

christmas tree

a lot of presents

under that tree i’m

gonna put a little bit of snow on that tree

frosty the snowman

where’s that present under the tree yeah

it always has to go to some gay place falls

yeah we are very immature

very very you know what

i gotta say got a little immature with farting on

melanie griffith’s head

is that where i went wrong yeah

you blame me

it really happened man

no but what i like what i like is

it was preceded

by it looks like you are like on the verge of like

figuring out one of the biggest

things ever and you

ended up in a catatonic state

and got to see one of the funniest

things of all time yeah no shit

right that’s a very

funny moment to get to witness i mean

that maybe only happened once

yep people aren’t

always farting on melanie griffith’s head it’s probably

more likely that you’re being abducted by an alien

than you get yourself into a position

where you could fart on melanie griffith’s head yeah

operation viper

yeah you saw the

final phase of operation

viper would you rather

fart on melanie griffin’s head or angela lansbury

i wouldn’t want to fart on either one of

their heads oh

angela all the way

why why would you want to

fart on angela

because i’d make her wear a little bit of makeup not

the blood dude

fart on people’s heads

brian that’s just rude fuck that girl

who is angela lansbury

murder she wrote

where you have a problem i

just wanna see

your face pucker up

what is it that we want to see like little old

ladies kicking ass

could you imagine if angela lansbury like

would beat dudes up occasionally

like they try to get her

from calling 911 on the

phone she kicks

him in the balls and he carries it back well no

i mean that

could be that has

him like if there was like

a female seniors

mma whoa that

would make a lot of

money oh my god

could you imagine

old ladies old

ladies beating the fuck out of each

other and occasionally they would die

bravely in the ring

like she died for our freedom

they would show

gross just the sound of hips breaking

every three fights acl’s just snapping like carrots

dentures throw wild haymaker in their foot falls off

oh god that would be so sad to watch

just concerned grandchildren weeping in the

stands isn’t there a

video online i didn’t

watch it but somebody put it up two old

ladies got into a fight

somebody throw up on twitter i know you folks know

know what it is it was on the rogan board

i’m pretty sure i didn’t watch it

but i saw the opening

frame and it was like one

old lady was down and the other old lady was up

and i was like i don’t need to

see anymore

i need to see these old

ladies beating the shit out of each other have you ever

seen old lady porn like really old lady porn

yes and that’s very disturbing cause that one old

lady this one

old lady i showed it looked like she was like

maybe alzheimer’s like they

found her like

she didn’t seem like she

knew what was

going on oh

jesus it was really bad there’s a dark one i

watched the

first one i ever

watched was

ron jeremy he was like the

first one to do it i think

and it was him banging this really old lady

and she was like oh it’s so lovely it feels so good no

and i was watching

it and she was just like this wretched

old creature i was like

my god you know

the pussies look fine kind of

still though like they look like

they don’t look as old as

their faces really i

think it’s i

think it’s a

charitable don’t you

think it’s a charitable

thing to do though

the face is getting lit up by sunlight all the time

you have to realize how bad that is for you

people don’t realize how bad it is for you

until you look at the rest of your body

how much is your face deteriorating

like there’s much more

wrinkles in my face and any

other part of my body

it’s cause my face is in sun all the time

sun’s coming

off your windshield you’re out there in the sun

the aging process is

accelerated by the sun for sure huh

you know like your armpits and

everything when your armpits get wrinkled

your face is jacked as fuck you know

when your armpits

start giving out you know and all that shit

starts to sag a wrinkle

that means your face looks like ass son

you know these poor old ladies man

these poor old

ladies that’s a dark moment for a woman you know

especially a really super attractive

woman who’s kind of banked her personal self esteem

on being attractive that’s got to be the

worst feeling in the world man

yeah you mean the feeling of

universal justice

crushing in on you

justice as a justice

because anytime

you are an idolater anytime you base your

thou shalt not

build a house

upon sand don’t

structure your whole life

and it’s an easy

thing to do

and you know

i get it and i

understand how easy it

would be to slip into

depending on your looks and all that

stuff but it’s like

if you were really intelligent you

would have developed some facet

of yourself that wasn’t

based on that

yeah yeah i know what you mean yeah i

guess but it’s that’s easy to say most people live

their lives without a rule book or a guidebook

and they really don’t know what the fuck they’re doing

there’s a lot of good people that wind up in shit lives

cause they just

never were told how to live

and they made a

series of mistakes

and they fell into the wave of the momentum

those mistakes and

i hear they

are fucked fucked by circumstance being born in

a fucked up neighborhood to some fucked up parents and

fucked up friends

i prefer to believe though that

and i think this is where we

definitely differ in opinion

cause i really

believe that no matter what life situation you’re in

you can get out of that into a better

place i can if you go to jail

you can if you do something dumb when you’re

young even in

jail i think that this

there is even in jail there are ways that you can

master certain techniques

of getting out of it there’s yes there’s always true

but you will not be you

you will not be surrounded by those

those techniques

you will not

you will you’ll have to seek them out it’s

gonna take a very rare effort

to really rise

and eliminate

yourself from the horrible reality of your conditions

surroundings violent people

all the different shit

that they’re doing in there the gangs all the bullshit

you’re not gonna involve it’s more difficult

but it’s like i just think is

it’s almost impossible man you

it’s mean people do it

and they get through it and they become better people

for it and they learn

while they’re in there and they really

truly reflect on

their life and

reflect on their mistakes but

much more likely they get sucked into the

system but there’s a

great book by victor franco called man

search for meaning

which is written by a

psychologist who is in auschwitz

and was observing the way people were

reacting with

having their

humanity ripped away from them

their clothes

ripped off being naked

covered in lice

randomly getting killed and

he like found an entire

style of therapy

based on his theory of why some people in

these situations

survived some even

flourished in these situations as far as being

kind to people around them and why some people died

in the essence of his

theory is that

uh that within

the human being if you can find something to live for

just something whatever it is

then that will take you through any situation

it’ll get you to the other side of any situation so it

this book yeah

changed my life

it’s one of my favorite books it’s fucking incredible

and one thing that he says in there

which is really awesome as he talks

about how he was

being on a forced work

march and he was really weak and

he was on a forced work

march and he fell down and one of the soldiers

cause he fell down came and just

started beating him

beating him with his fucking

rifle get up get up get up and he um

he had seen this soldier kill people

with this technique just beat him to

death with a

rifle cause they

wouldn’t get up

and he thought if i don’t get up i’m gonna die

and he thought well you know

why should i not die this is i’m probably

gonna die anyway

why not just let this be the moment that i die

and all of a

sudden he imagined himself giving a speech

where he was talking

about this experience

and using this

experience to try to

transform the

world in a positive way

to show people that

no matter how fucking horrible the situation is

you can find a way out of it mentally

to give you

the strength and the will to keep pushing forward

and he got up and he survived and he became like a very

famous psychologist

and a philosopher

so what was

that guy’s name again

victor franco

and the book is man’s

search for meaning and it’s a brutal

book it’s really fucking intense the description of the

death camp and stuff but

it’s awesome

and his therapy was called logos therapy


psychotherapy wow

i mean what is the

search for meaning the

search for meaning is

to try to find a reason to stay alive

and then if you do

try to find a reason to stay

alive and succeed

and you do look forward

to life and put positive energy into it something is

going to come out

but is that a meaning

is that meaning you know man

search for meaning is that a correct

is there really a meaning to everyone and

if we look at the way the world is

going look at the direction that

human beings

are headed into

with the pollution of the

world with this

crazy nuclear arms race

thing trying to keep

iran from developing nukes and israel’s gotham and all

these people go

if you look at

the overpopulation if you look at the economic crisis

the crisis of

government look at all this

crazy shit that’s

going like what

we’re preserving what

like what are we doing

we’re moving it towards what direction

you know like

what are we trying to save

what is what is good

about all this

well i mean the

thing is like

the ego tries to create a lofty reason

so you know i’m saying like

search for meaning no

you live and you die you live

under these circumstances of

this slow toxification of

the earth and you die

and man search for meaning

okay well you’re

searching for meaning

while all this shit is happening right

well yeah you know

i know exactly what you’re saying and i

think he’s dealing with that very

issue and he

what he says what

he says that

he would ask

his clients or the people who came to see him he’s like

why don’t you kill yourself

what’s the reason

that you’re not killing yourself

why are you

deciding to stay

alive in the

world have you

explored that

have you ever

asked yourself

what’s getting me out of bed

what’s the reason behind this and it

doesn’t have to be some lofty

thing it doesn’t have to be

i’m staying

alive to cause i

wanna you know i

wanna become president and

bring peace to the

world it can be some very simple thing

it can be your kids

it can be art

it can be cause you like

video games it

doesn’t have to be some lofty fucking

thing even though

to me some of

those ideas would

it was very difficult for me to swallow it but

it’s finding that

connection to the world

you know it’s finding that

right but what is that all about

what is the meaning of all of it i mean that’s the

thing man search

for meaning that there’s some sort of a meaning to

everything and i

think it’s an individual

it’s like what you said when you have these

each individual has their own

particular meaning

and if they don’t hit that frequency

and they don’t find that path then they won’t be happy

well think of it man like you know like

the times that i’ve this

sounds really

stupid so go

ahead and make fun of me for it but like

i have a really amazing

girlfriend i have a really fucking cool chihuahua

i fucking love

those entities right now

there have been times in my life where i haven’t had

things like that you know where i haven’t

had those connections

right and i’ve noticed i tend to be more

self destructive in those

states right you know what i mean like i

agree it’s it’s like we

louis ck has this

really funny joke about how like

if you don’t have a kid

you know he’s like i can’t die

there are people i have to feed they’re

things that i have to take care of you know they’re

like it adds this whole other

so it’s like finding that thing

in your life

you know it

doesn’t have

to be an interpersonal relationship it can be

other things but it’s like

the idea is find that

thing and that

thing will be the thing that

steers your ship through this

turbulent right and

then but taking a step further

what is this purpose

this reason to stay

alive this reason to find this thing

this reason to do your job and

stake your position here and have your

influence here

what is it what is it

about choosing the correct frequency

to you whatever it is for you whether

it’s pursuing a

career as a professional bowler

or a carpenter

or a doctor

or a writer whatever the fuck it is for you

what is it about that pull

what is really happening

is fulfilling your own personal desires and interest

is that really just a part of a gigantic equation

and then everybody

is working and everybody has a certain part and

it’s not stated it’s not written in

stone there’s some room some wiggle room

to go this way and that way

but in order to

truly be happy

your instincts your emotions all these

things are guiding you towards a certain direction

and that certain

direction might be a part

of some huge pattern that is impossible to see you

would have to get so high

above the human

race you have to separate yourself from your history

and your ideas

about humans

in order to see it all together in

order to see

all the fucking

different things that are happening all over the

world all together simultaneously

consider the impact of the

human race as a

whole it seems like that because that’s why there’s

trash men that’s why there’s

like these jobs

you’re like why are people actually doing that that’s

crazy you know it seems like that is

makes a complete

sense that way that’s cool

we don’t like to

think that it makes

sense because we like to

think that we all

have our own personal choice and we all have our own

identity and we all have our own

path that we can choose through this life and

you can change and you can become a different person

and i agree with all that i’m not saying that

it’s 100 everything that you do is set in stone

but it seems to me

that there is without a

doubt there’s a push towards a certain direction

and it might not be very

exact it might

not be everyone gets pushed towards a certain direction

but your instincts are to

breed to settle down to procreate to

possess the coolest material possessions to

show off for the

joneses to be

successful at what you do

what are all

those things doing well all

those things they’re all pushing innovation

they’re all pushing the creation of new technology

they’re all pushing

the invention of new

crazy fucking

super things yep

it’s almost like

we don’t even realize we are infected by a parasite

the parasite is

technology we’re slowly giving

birth to it over a period of a couple of decades

until it gets to a

point where it can take care of itself

and what we’re doing is we’re

carrying it inside of our bodies

we’re leaving it

in our houses

everywhere we look we’re connected to it

and it is life form

it is a life form yeah

we just don’t recognize it as

a life form because we’re looking for something like us

we’re looking for something that has cells and

gives blood

and has blood pumping through it

but if you look at like my old shitty

i have an old shitty

mac laptop it’s big and fat like a fucking like a bible

you know and it

cranks open it’s like

it’s all rickety

and shit the

screen looks

like dog shit yeah it’s only a few years old

man it’s like 10 years old

right you know that’s that’s that’s insane

you know in 10 years this

thing has evolved like

it’s like comparing a monkey

and comparing a person

but that shit took millions of years

this laptop into

a macbook pro

that only took 10

that 10 years

this big fat

stupid brick

and now this

thing’s awesome

what is that 15 years 16 years

that’s some

crazy shit and and the

thing that it

evolved into is

using itself as a to uh

to make itself

smaller like

you’re using each

subsequent evolution as

accelerating the next phase yeah

it’s really cool man

yeah it’s fascinating man it

might be a life form

like literally

literally technology

might be something that we just

we don’t consider it a life form

because we need to consider life forms as being similar

to us in some way

you can kill it

it bleeds it eats its shits

that’s the only way we see it

we don’t see this

thing that we’re making

we’re literally creating its brain

yeah but if you are

watching from afar

you’d be like oh yeah

those creatures are

innovating some sort of

i don’t know sure if you were an

alien intelligence without a doubt

right that’s immediately what you

would say that’s

terrence mckenna

what he says is we are extruding

psychic objects into the material universe that’s what

human beings do

and if you look at

the cities it’s like

coral extrusions of matter coming

from our minds like

coral reefs and this

is all moving towards the invention of some

super tool yes yeah

yeah this is moving towards the invention of some new

connection to the universe some new

you know we

might be giving birth

to some organism some

technological organism something that can replicate

something that

is sentient it’s

aware of itself and can make decisions

and alters its environment and chooses to

replicate itself in a more advanced way

and then that one chooses to replicate itself

in a more advanced

way and like

literally within a year they

could go through 10 000 years of fucking

evolution i mean

they can produce incredible results

if you really get to the

point of you see how

quickly technology

and computers have

evolved as compared to biology

if they’re both life forms it’s not even closest to

which one’s

going to win

the technology one’s

going they’re

going to develop wormholes and portals and we’ll

just be growing webbed feet because we live near water

you know what i mean that

shit will take a million years before people can hold

their breath past

five minutes

there’s one

tribe in new zealand that can hold

their breath

for seven minutes this is an

evolutionary advantage

you know when they talk about

eskimos have an

evolutionary advantage

where they could be outside

in freezing

weather and

their hands don’t get cold like ours do when

your hands would get

frostbite you’d be fucked and you

might even lose your fingers

they can actually be fine

you know it’s because

their body has

adapted to that environment but that shit takes


you know when that started

okay they didn’t even have writing

okay yeah and the way that that happens joe is by

according to

hardcore evolutionists it’s

random mutation

it’s not even as though the necessity

caused the thing that

happened as though like

you through the will of

necessity that you need to survive in the cold longer

suddenly you get that

it’s a mutation

that happens to some

lucky eskimo

and because he has that mutation

he’s a little bit

more advanced and he reproduces more and passes that

mutation on and that’s how it gets into the gene line

not from intentionality so it’s even more random

than necessity

it’s just you know when the moth

accidentally mutates into the same

color of the tree

that moth is

gonna survive more

cause the birds can’t see it

and that moth

is it accidental though

that’s that’s the

big question that’s the question

random mutations

being accidental is a very controversial subject yes

it’s a very controversial theory i don’t

think so theory because

a lot of people believe that

things just like

mckenna had this idea that everything

brian why do you keep doing that because we have

three minutes till

we have to split up the

so what just

keep doing it you’re

going seven five

please i’m just letting you know because we’ll have to

split this into two podcasts just it

doesn’t matter i don’t give a fuck

i don’t give a fuck

about tupac yes

what were we talking about

we’re talking

about whether

evolution is some

random mutation or whether through the

need of the organism itself somehow this

begins to mutate

well the idea that

mckenna thanks the

mckenna had this idea that everything

naturally moves towards

infinite complex

the idea what was the

exact wording

his idea was that everything moves towards complexity

like everything from the big bang till today

from single celled organisms to

multi celled organisms from

everything that

exists in the whole universe has like

an ethic it has like

a rule and that

rule moves towards more and more complex

things and that

what it is is that

these animals recognize they’re being spotted

and somehow

or another by them getting jacked over and over again

the universal consciousness recognizes this is unfair

this is kind of a

tricky situation

these things are

stupid and they

stand out we have to figure

out a way to hide them to keep them in the situation

and so what

they do is they impart some sort of an ability to

blend in with

their environment

like chameleons or like

octopus can

you know that it’s just some sort of a universal

intelligence that recognizes there’s an imbalance

we need this

octopus but

they’re too easy to eat

they’re getting jacked left and

right let’s

figure out a way to keep them around a little bit more

and so they adjust their

superpowers you know what i’m saying

yeah and i find that so i mean the

other alternative that just at some

point on octopuses like wait a

minute i can turn any

color in the

world well and even the idea of

random mutation

maybe that is how it goes and

maybe the whole

thing is programmed by radiation and

maybe random mutations are really what

causes evolution

maybe that’s the tool that it uses

right in order

to move towards complexity it’s moving towards the same

thing every time

so to call it just

random mutations it’s not like it seems to be

these random mutations are always good

they’re always an advanced version

they’re not i

think they don’t

succeed yes they don’t succeed

so even though it is yes it’s very simple they are

random mutations but

look where it’s

going it’s always

going towards more and more complex things

you know it’s fascinating

shit man when you really think

about the idea that

we’re moving

towards something

and no one’s

recognizing it and it’s all happening all the time

and everything you do

every day in your life is really just pushing this

thing along in a program towards some

predetermined goal

right yeah the

thing that you consider to be

whatever it is

it really is part of a bigger

picture and that’s a very

optimistic way to look at it and i like that

way of looking at it because the alternative is nealism

whew that’s it folks

that’s the end

that’s the mind fuck

that’s the mind fuck of life is this all just a pattern

are there patterns upon patterns are there infinite

possibilities for these patterns is every single

second a choice that you make that pushes you into

a parallel universe of a very close distinction but

but different was it evolution that farted

on her head melanie griffith said was it

evolution or a random mutation we

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play some of that

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it’s on itunes it’s on itunes yeah but it’s on lavender

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r e d b a n

thank you very much for tuning to the podcast

thanks to the flashlight

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there you go it’s

right there

and it’s blue but it’s not

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thanks everybody

and we’ll probably be doing another one this week

i’m trying to figure out who’s

gonna do it

might be brian callan but

thanks very much for all the love

thank you everybody in england i had a

great fucking

time i’ll be at the galaxy theater this friday

night at 8 p

m with joey diaz

it’s no it’s not an

anaheim it’s santa ana

yeah did i say that already or wind is

born what’s that

where wind is born

where wind is born

santa and the winds that’s

where they start

there you go

knowledge and i’ll be at

vegas at the palms this weekend

natasha lezhare from last

comic standing we’re in vegas

the palms the palms yeah

what is this this is not


ding dong show

october 25th

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