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Podcast
Description
Joe sits down with Brian Redban.
Transcript
let’s do it right now right now brian make it happen
here we go
we’re here ladies and gentlemen we’re live
we’ve done it faster this time than ever
we’re getting better at it
less fuck ups less hiccups
live from the compound
we started a little bit late today
but it was all my
fault brian was
rocked and locked
and loaded this time i just fucked up i was tired
cause i had to do the
kevin and bean show this morning and i had to get up
early cause i have to
leave my house is
kind of far from them
what the fuck people
what’s going down bitches
happy new year
brian is all in a tizzy
about the goddamn ipad
and me i twittered
that i don’t need an ipad
cause i’m a fucking man and i can
carry a goddamn backpack
with a laptop and i don’t complain like a little bitch
and this seems like
it’s got less shit than a laptop
if you’re gonna go like on an airplane or something
somewhere you want a fucking laptop you
wanna be able to
get on a computer you
wanna be able to
send someone a real goddamn
email attach
something to it and send a real link easy copy and
paste old school
you know on some
nutty fucking finger
things you have to shut up
i want a fucking laptop and it’s not heavy
i can take this goddamn
thing anywhere they’re so
small now i mean
the thin and the light
this is i got
this is the 17 inch
macbook this
thing is it’s not heavy
you put it in a backpack you’re fine
i don’t need a fucking ipad
brian well see i
think that’s the problem with
can everyone hear us okay before we
start getting really into it
yes the microphone back
where we are not a well polished machine yeah
gentlemen now
okay where’s the broadcast
here i’ll see if
i’ll see if we can hear ourselves
this is if this was like real tv we’d be fine
i’ll see if we can hear ourselves are we on tv
yeah we’re good
okay so here’s the thing
about that the whole
tablet now the problem with
the whole thing is that steve jobs pretty much
just bashed netbooks at the beginning of the
so it really set a nerve with a lot of people
meaning people are like what netbook
better so he’s doing this in his speech in his
speech i’m not that much of a fan boy i’m not
gonna sit and watch you strut around and talk
about your fucking computer
i enjoy your
stuff i think your iphone is a goddamn
work of art amazing
verizon you know had it it
would be the greatest phone in the
history of the universe but i can’t use it as a phone
i use it to me i have i
carry two phones
i carry a blackberry and verizon
that’s a fucking
phone i can call people it sucks it’s a terrible phone
it’s like a
drunk iphone
like when you
compare the two of them together there’s no comparison
like sometimes like i say if i call you
and i have a little
picture for your face when i call you
and i go to call somebody else
when i start calling somebody else
your picture will show up
and then it’ll change
so it’s like the
things like oh who
am i calling
it’s like it’s dumb it’s a dumb
phone it’s like it does what you want to
but it takes
a couple extra
seconds and it stumbles
that storm too
yeah the storm too yeah
the screen is awesome it’s a nice big ass
screen and i like that and the
touchscreen is not too bad
it’s pretty easy to type
the even this way in landscape mode
it’s good it’s like
it’s weird it gives you a little feedback
which really isn’t necessary but it’s not bad
and as a phone it’s great
but compared to the iphone
just getting on the web is just like you’re doing it
in an old wooden car you know it’s just so clunky and
stupid and zoom
okay scroll this way
and oh come on really well
you’re saying is the best part
about the iphone is probably the internet and the
worst part is the
worst part is
the phone clearly
i don’t mind
making calls on him and calls on his badass just that
but i just don
t is just terrible
it might be
better in somebody’s town you know
they got more at t
towers more gsm towers
so they took the the
the best part of the iphone and made it
a little bit bigger
yeah and they got rid of like
what no camera what the fuck well here’s the
whole thing
about this what i’m
thinking now
is i’m thinking alright
i like my iphone but i only use it because i once in a
while i want something
small to surf the net and do
basic shit with oh i listen to this
say you’re in a starbucks and some dude comes in and
starts spraying the
place right okay
and you want to be taking
video right
and you’re on your little ipad
thinking you’re a
genius sipping on your but you have
two cameras you
don’t have shit you not me
you’re just a regular dude who just
doesn’t have your digital
camera you have just as an ipad
and a blackberry because he’s not sold on
apple and he’s online
he’s online
right there and he wants to get online
with his ipad
and take video and
stream it to you
streaming this happening and he can’t do it
because the ipad is a
piece of shit
okay well listen have a camera well listen
now one of the
things that he said in his
speech that’s
logic you can’t
argue with that here’s my argument
he said during a speech
that it has a port
that is going to have accessories to open it up to the
the universe
all well and
so imagine having a nice
hd camera hooked up to the bottom you just have to be
streaming through starbucks like a fucking creep
you can’t even do it on the dl everybody’s
gonna know you’re
gonna be out there
scanning people with your little webcam
no what if it snapped on the front
so you’re on the webcam with starbucks here
buddy wants starbucks well no here’s the
thing it has
it came out
to have a laptop at
starbucks it has a thing that
it already has
attachments
for like a card reader as next week
we’re gonna be at starbucks
no we’re gonna be at the coffee bean
no but that’s what i’m saying it
doesn’t have a camera but yet
it has an attachment that he said will have accessories
like microphones and cameras and put a
camera on the fucking
thing bitch
you wanna be
super special
you want to be the bomb
i think they’re trying to keep it down
price wise down
under five hundred dollars
cause here’s the
thing if you’re
gonna buy a book reader
right now you’re on amazon com
you’re looking at the kindle the big kindle
that’s ten dollars
cheaper than this thing
that makes a lot of
sense actually and
it’s backlit
i have a sony e reader but
i read in bed
so when my girlfriend’s
sleeping i wanna read
i can’t i have to have a
light on and it can’t even just be a dim
light it has to be a bright
light for me to read it
so now i got a little clip on sucker yeah
yeah that’s
right you get a person to
sleep right next to you
right especially if you got a kindle like with a
leather cover
and you put the
light here bam
you can read
right next to them
so this thing
would be great
that’s right there
married dudes talking
you read right next to me
when i was single i’d be like well i
guess you can’t fucking
sleep right
you know oh
i can’t sleep
while you’re reading a book well
maybe the couch
would be a better
place for you to
sleep totally
what the fuck are you talking
about totally
so that’s like 10
more wouldn’t you get that
if you didn’t have one already
if you’re getting a book reader
would you get 10
more would you pay for the i
tablet yeah
that’s the best argument i’ve ever
heard if i had to choose between
kindle and the ipad i
would for sure
take the ipad and now the argument on the
other side is 10
yeah the argument on the
other side is e ink
is less stressful on the eyes
but here’s what i’m
thinking is that true
it might be something to sell
that technology
but here’s what i’m thinking
i’m on the computer 11
hours a day 10
hours a day
i’m doing 99
reading and i’ve
never gone oh it
hurts my face no once in a
while i have noticed that i
think well it
could be also
cause i’m getting older
but my eyesight is not as good
my eyesight
like reading like you say if i have to read
vitamin bottle it tells me
how many supposed to take
right i have i struggle with that shit right
no i have to try to focus
it’s not what it
used to be so i don’t read more than like an hour two
hours of my
ebook anyways a day
and so i’m thinking if i’m on the computer
twelve hours already a day
and i use two
hours of that
look at this i don’t think it’s
edward cat flap
oh says everything
apple makes is perfect
steve jobs is god and bill
gates is a nazi
that’s obviously not
those are strong
words those are
strong words do you
think that’s the real flappo
the real flappo is
one of the craziest if you don’t know he is one of
the craziest characters on the internet he’s this nutty
dude from england who likes to get fucked up all day
and he’s got a lot of
money so he
doesn’t have
to work so the dude just gets online and just
trolls people and fucks with them all day
he’s really hilarious he’s
crazy you could find him at your website joeredo
net on the forums just look for flappo
and he just picks
fights with people
he finds them and he just insults
them over and over again
and everybody’s
these guys an asshole
this guy’s an asshole
and yeah yeah but there’s something
about it that’s so endearing
i mean he’s really doing it for
entertainment he’s
a character
he’s like an internet character
that’s like
running through this
this show we’re
doing and the show is the website the forums
and he’s like this character he’s like one of the
this is insane he won’t
meet us either
won’t meet us
he’s kind of a shut in
but i understand that
you know i mean if you’re some
crazy dude just stays on the internet all day
i wouldn’t even care what he looks like i mean he
could be totally
trouble with this whole
story i don’t care i just
think he’s an interesting dude it’d be nice to say hi
but he doesn’t want us to take
pictures of him and put it online
because then everybody will have evidence
they’ll have weapons and ammunition to go
against him
in this internet war but there’s supposedly one
picture of him
yeah but who the fuck knows you
think that’s real
cause if not
that’s a great photo
he’s smiling and
everything but he’s
never met anybody how do we know you know
right it could be a co
it could be a boyfriend
could be a girl
could be one of your ex
girlfriends
who the hell knows
yeah we have no idea it’s a guy
no idea that’s the best
thing about the internet though
the best is meeting people that are cool
yeah i have so
many friends you are one of them i met on the internet
but there’s so many people that we’ve met
from your message
board and other
places that seems like a
crazy thing to say
yeah it seems like you’re an
idiot what are you doing meeting fucking some people
from your message board but
you know when you’re
the bottom line is for real is like you’re meeting
people all over the country anyway when you doing
stand up the differences
are making you meet them online
first and like
wouldn’t that be smarter
you know yeah
the only way to interact with people is
i mean the internet is
the greatest
for that like there’s people that could
never have relationships
that didn’t have any friends
that had nothing
going on in
their real life but they developed like
whole internet
worlds man a
quick player buddies of mine when i was like
seriously addicted to playing quake
there’s dudes that like
lived their
whole life on the internet
and that’s where all
their friendships
came from and you get to know people like they’re in
you know it’s it’s
it’s a little more
it sounds crazy when
saying that you
meet people from the internet but it’s really probably
pretty intelligent
a girls that like
use dating sites they used to be thought of as losers
you know you’d hear
about like oh her
sister she’s on fucking
match com whatever
the fuck it is like oh poor girl what the fuck
then you think
about being a chick
all the fucking scumbags out
there when you want to like listen to them talk for a
while first like
see what they got what nutty shit they want to say in
their email
see how they say you’re
in your do you use that apostrophe you fucking cretin
you cave person
you know you know i mean
it’s funny those
dating sites how many different ones there are
like j date is for jewish people
they have one for the
people that
just have herpes i forget the name of it nice
they have one for like anything you
could possibly want
all girls who suck
magic johnson’s dick
that’s funny
that’s funny
hey listen this guy
this guy says joe ever
heard about reverse speech
everything you say says something in reverse
now ordinarily
i would say that’s retarded bullshit
but i smoke some marijuana
right before we did this
broadcast and i’m like man who the hell knows maybe
maybe we just don’t know
that in language
you can reverse it
and it can show true intention
is that possible by the way your intonations and
no i mean i don’t
think it is but
maybe it is
what the fuck do i know
well you know
things that are possible are so nutty
you know why why do you
think that i mean that
could be just some
weird side effect of speech
that when you reverse
things it says
the opposite of what the person or
the person really means is possible shit
who the fuck knows
the world is so nutty as it is the fact that we’re on
this sphere that
hovers around this gigantic nuclear explosion and it
flies through the galaxy
everybody wants to talk
about the cast of jersey
shore renegotiating their deal
i mean that’s like the number one conversation
or how many you know how many more millions they’re
gonna give conan o’brien at fox or
you know how many more
chicks a tiger
would fuck is his wife
gonna get back together with him
it’s like we get so caught up in nonsense
and i’ve been
trying to figure that out more and more as i get
older what it is
because it’s not just i say
people i say we i get caught up in that
stupid shit too
i was wondering what was
gonna happen
to john when he left kate because he wasn’t making any
money anymore
and also he has to pay mad alimony
you know because i
think they probably negotiate that
shit when he was on a show and he was making good money
but they kicked him off that show
and then they’re
gonna sue him
and the poor dude
you know i mean he just fell
apart in front of the
whole world
first he fell
apart in front of the
whole world because he was
married to that
chick who was just
treating him like shit
like it would you
watch that show him like well that
bitch is harsh
but then you realize
god damn could you imagine having
eight kids with that weak dude
that guy’s such a bitch
you would be like oh
i can’t count on this
motherfucker come on get up you have to work
come on dude
just lazy and soft and
dull minded
but he got on tv and when he got on tv i
think girls just
start saying you shouldn’t take that from him
she’s a bitch
she doesn’t
appreciate you
i see you on that show i
think you’re so hot i
think you’re so cool
next thing you know he’s in there
oh shit i’m hot and cool oh shit
he didn’t realize that he himself
had been tricked by fame
just like those poor girls that fuck them that’s how
powerful fame is
fame tricks even the person that has the fame
the worst is that tea like
tequila girl oh she’s the best
every time i hear about her
every time i hear
about i just get sick to my stomach i’m just waiting
for baby right now
listen that’s all just to get you to pay attention
she’s a crafty little
little winch yeah
she’s gonna do a porn
i would imagine
i think she already has i remember
having it’s amazing when they like just totally
like orchestrate sex tapes
you know like is there any
doubt that the kim kardashian
sex tape have you ever watched it
oh yeah there’s different cameras
yeah i mean
at one point
time is it really different yes
yes there’s different
angles it’s edited
check that i knew
it was tinted but i thought that the company did the
production code
and she keeps her bra on
which is very disturbing
let them titties free
let them titties free
you don’t like the way they look oh come on
just let them free
she probably
doesn’t like her nipples
she looks like
she’s probably got some big ones what do you
think you gotta
guess oh definitely
she must be
pictures wine
punch can is there
pictures of her nipples out there something i didn’t
watch her whole
video i watched the
if you skip
right i don’t take
much time to beat off
and i have a very hard time beating off to
black guys fucking
white girls
i don’t feel like that’s me
i just how much fantasy can i have oh yeah suck my
black dick what
you know that’s not me
i just beat off in
front of my new kitten
for the first time today
today and how much in
front of them well
how far away i was beating off and the cat jumped
right up on my laptop i’m like
oh well i guess you’re
gonna see it
eventually so there it is you like you feel like
like do you
it’s like i really hope like my
grandparents
are like you find out
later that you’re like
your your you know
ancestors come
back as like animals or something they can
watch you like
as long as i can’t talk
as long as you can’t talk remember joey’s joke about
checking off for the cat
and about to come and the cats doing this on the
move got to move
it’s weird how like
cats used to be worshipped back in the days
yeah what do you
think that’s all
and what if there’s something
to a cat that we just don’t know and was lost in
transition you know like no one ever
wrote it down like oh by the way
if you look at the cat’s eyes
every day at midnight you can talk to it
we know what trips me out
about like egyptians
worshipping cats
it’s like they were so good at making
things like
how i wonder what they
would really like
because we don’t really have any idea
about their
culture like
translating
their language
over the english
it’s all so
tricky in the hieroglyphs and
you know they don’t really know how far back
their their history goes
cause there’s like
like john anthony west that guy
thinks that
their history goes back like
thirty thousand years and he even has
hieroglyphs that prove it
but they were so
smart when it came to constructing
things i wonder what they
would like you know socially know yeah
like with just like sitting around talking to him yeah
you know it’s really kind of
crazy when you think
about what those
those people pulled off
and that was like
supposedly twenty
two thousand
five hundred years before christ
before zero
that’s incredible
and they were worshipping cats like
maybe they were
maybe they know
yeah there’s something with cats
how fucking
smart were they i mean
i would like to know how
smart they were
maybe they were just
completely retarded
and just really know how to
build things and they were just
right and that’s why
their culture just suck but i don’t
think so because people like like
i think socrates and no herodotus
herodotus went over from uh oh okay
no there’s the there’s the
there’s the yeah
that right we
just charged in here this cat is very emotional
sometimes come here spies
she would get mad because we got another cat yeah
and she started peeing on shit
speaking of the other cat just walks in
right when you said that oliver come here buddy
oliver’s cool
i like him he’s a cool little dude
i like cats
you know why i like cats because i’m not
starving to death that’s why i don’t
understand like when you people are living in
egypt i mean how fucking
smart were they
they must have had a pretty sophisticated culture
because they were really into keeping
animals as pets and feeding them they
were not gonna get
dogs are gonna protect your
house they’re gonna do the cats ain’t doing shit
right you rub them that’s all you get
right you get i purr
and i like you rubbing me that’s all it is so they were
smart enough to
build pyramids but yet they worshipped cats
because there’s something to the cat that we don’t know
about spas is there something to cats
you ever see a cat when
the light hits
their eyes in
a certain way and it looks like a hologram or something
going on in their eyes
that shit’s
weird well their eyesight is insane
their eyesight is some
insane amount better than ours is it
oh yeah their eyesight is incredible
and dark and
their vision is incredible and
their hearing is incredible
that cat hears
everything yeah
she’ll hear shit like that her
like she’ll be sleeping
and you’ll see her all curled up and then i’ll
move something in the room you see her little ears go
you know it’s like they’re
tuning into like
specific locations where my
sir trying to
sneak by you know
that they got this
killer fuck it it’s really
weird to see because
the bottom line is
she only respects me and loves me and
everything first of all because i feed her and pet her
but also because i’m so much bigger than
cause if i was
smaller than her she
would fuck me up
cats don’t give a fuck
about little
things you can’t keep a pet
gerbil around your cat they don’t have that
agreement you can
train a dog to not kill a gerbil
you cannot train a cat now you can’t do it
now you leave that gerbil around that cat is
gonna fuck that
thing up it’s
crazy they cannot avoid it
they love it they love killing
things man yeah
when i was growing up when i was a kid we had a big ass
black tomcat
and he used to kill squirrels
and he used to kill squirrels we lived
right across the
street from this
river and there was like this
whole a lot of wooded areas like
many many acres as soon
as a lot of animals around there
and these fucking squirrels
would be all over this tree and this cat would just
creep through the grass
he’s a fucking
monster and you
pause and hover
and i would
watch him from the window across the
street from our house dude
it was like national geographic
he fucking chases him
and the squirrels trying to
leave and he
pounce on their back get
their back and sink
their teeth into the neck and drag this
thing in between his legs that was what was really
crazy he had the squirrel’s body
which was almost as big as him
it was pretty
fucking big like half the size of his body
and he’s dragging it in between his legs
and taking the squirrel across the
street to our house
i was like how nutty is that
what if i went out and killed a dog
what if i went out and killed a dog with a
knife in front of you
wouldn’t you like look at me different
right would be like bro what the fuck did you just do
right right
but you know he came in i’m like what’s up little buddy
i’m like rubbing his head what’s up little
buddy what you got i saw you got a
you got a squirrel huh
i didn’t i didn’t feel bad
he murdered this poor little animal
this girl probably had a little squirrel family
squirrel mother
he’s not even hungry
i’d feed his fat ass
every day he
would come and i
would give him a fucking kent dog
cat a little cat food he
would be fine
maybe that squirrel was
trying to help you too like rikki tikki timbo remember
that old story
where he’s trying to save the family from the snake
maybe the squirrel was trying
to like squirrels
i think squirrels are
cool little animals
i like but i discriminate
when it comes to rodents like squirrels they make the
grade i never feel bad when i see them
but if i see a rat
that’s close
you know a rat is that
close like say
if you’re sitting with your kid at the park
and there’s a tree and the tree is
literally right there
and the tree’s got a squirrel
like oh look at the squirrel look at the squirrel he’s
right there
but if that was a rat you’re
like oh get the fucking back the rats there it’s a rat
get a fucking stick
get a rat get out
you just start
freaking out
yelling shit fuck you the fuck out of here
right right
fucking rat
i’m scared of rats dude
rats are that big
and i’m scared of them
in jersey they’ll like come at you yeah you
know like you
gotta be careful
like they’ll bite your ass man
i came after by a
skunk last week
a skunk charged me
and the dog of course my dog says like kill kill kill
won’t listen to me
but doesn’t know it’s gonna
spray him and then that’s
gonna be like five
hours of my time
of trying to use vinegar and imagine what
that smells
like to a dog
these dogs have
these insane
i wonder if they
like it or not
oh my god of course they don’t like it
that would be
funny if they did that
would be like an animal that’s trying to commit suicide
yeah you know if that was the evolutionary thing like
whit meant the dogs
loved it you’d
spray your shit the dogs liked it
they’d want you to
spray it so they’d want to kill you all the time
it’s like catnip why does catnip
not work on any other animal
these guys are
weird look at this guy joe what’s your favorite way to
smoke like people get nutty
about it just
smoke your weed people dude it’s there’s a certain
group of people that
follow you that are so burnt out that they just like
you know they’re like
maybe she’s
young to the game
right well there’s a lot of
young health wise the
vaporizer is certainly your best bet
um bombs are nice
i like a bomb i like glass anything
brian doesn’t give a fuck goes right to the
glad dick haha
joints joints are pretty
good because you only have to
light it once you know
but really if you want to do it the healthiest way a
vaporizes way to go and don’t
think that eating it is just as healthy people
think that eating pot is just as healthy
it is i mean it’s not
going to kill you but it will freak you out
and one of the reasons why it
freaks you out because it produces this
thing called 11 hydroxy it’s a metabolite that your
liver produces when you eat marijuana
and apparently it’s not psychoactive when you
smoke it like
it so you don’t get the same effect
but when you eat
marijuana it becomes like four times more psychoactive
than if you smoke it
so if you have like a lot of weed and you make
brownies with them that’s the problem with
these things
you eat a brownie and you’re like
what the fuck you can’t believe how much weed is in it
you have to sit down
it’s because as it’s
going through your
system it’s creating this 11 hydroxy metabolite
which i like
and one of the reasons why i like it is because
it makes me
very self critical
it makes me examine
all sorts of things
about myself like there’s anything
about myself that i don’t like
if i’m being lazy if i’m being a douchebag if i’m
being short with people if i’m not you know
if i’m not focused on what i really
should be focused on my life
anything that
might be bugging me my subconscious mind
this eleven hydroxy makes you
think about it like in depth
and it can really
freak people out if you’ve got
some shit that you’re pushing in the back of your head
you know it’s like what people call
i was paranoid i was paranoid
i think what paranoia
is is people that when you get high on marijuana i
think what paranoia is people who just
are there they’re getting
too much information for them to manage and they
haven’t done such a good job of
managing their consciousness in the
first place
and so when this
stuff is hitting them
what’s happening is they’re
just it’s overload and they can’t control it and they
freak out and they say i can’t smoke weed
it gets me paranoid
but i think it’s more
indicative of this
you don’t really know how you feel
about yourself you don’t really know how you feel
about life you’re looking at life through
barriers because you’re trying to
not see everything because you’re trying to focus on
one particular
thing with your life or trying to get your
shit together and you don’t realize how many things
about your life really are
freaking you out and bothering you
until you smoke pot and pot just
makes you examine
them know we
as as as people we we like to
avoid shit that bugs us
and so i like
when people like over eat to get over some
childhood molestation
they don’t even fucking realize what they’re doing
they’re just distracting themselves with something else
you know i think i
think we do shit like that all the time
don’t you think mm hmm
i kind of lost
in there halfway
you know what we’re talking
about listen
be careful with your weed that’s all i’m saying
being paranoid is a good
thing it’s for real it is i mean the
experience of being paranoid
when you smoke weed
it’s to get you to look at yourself
it’s to get you to look at life it’s you’re not
you’re not looking at it all as
clearly as you could
and those jolts of perception
you misinterpret as paranoia
what you’re doing is just
dealing with the information that’s already been there
just the fact that you this
fleshy temporary soft mushy creature
that is literally connected
with nothing
above your head except
gases and air
and then fucking
space and above that there’s
asteroids and planets and fucking
giant nuclear
explosions and suns
and it’s all
right there
and you’re just this thing that
doesn’t exactly know what it’s doing is kind of like
going along with the flow of everybody else and
sitting in traffic
like everybody else hoping that someone of us
is like guiding this
thing but they’re not no one’s guiding shit
and that is
if you’re not
thinking about that if you don’t you
haven’t addressed that as a
human being
and you start eating fucking pot brownies
that shit will club you over the head
you’ll freak out you’ll be scared you’ll
curl into a fetal
position you know
light what life really is
is frightening to people
and marijuana will expose the fuck out of that
expose what it really is you know this is not a goddamn
movie that’s the problem
we are living life like it is a
movie because we’re fucking we really are programmed by
culture i think
i mean i love
movies don’t get me
wrong i love cds i love songs i love all
forms of expression all
entertaining forms of
expression except
dance dance like
musicals that
doesn’t mean shit to me when i see
choreographed dancing
i’m like oh you’re moving together
you don’t like
dancing i do
you don’t like
musical movies at all or
south parks
south park musicals yeah
yeah that was a beautiful
beautiful musical
yeah it was beautiful
you need to make a new
south park movie what the fuck
it’s except
all the canadians must have been very pissed
right they’re always pissed
right now gingers
are pissed have you seen that ginger video
no is that when
people are beating up redheaded kids well no this kid
who’s a redhead fucked up man
this kid is a redheaded has his
where’s that come from
where’s that
part that’s
crazy that’s sad
because there’s an episode where
like gingers were like
what’s happening
with some kid
like right mimicking
south parks
like head of ginger dan
you’re hitting them all day
right they’re mimicking
south park what i mean that’s nothing new
when you’re in high
school yeah or
excuse to beat the fuck out
right right so the
video is this this redheaded guy that gives like a
speech for four minutes and it’s kind of like
leave britney
alone style
and it’s just
it’s you don’t want you
he he brings up god and religion
through it and
stuff and it’s
just you sit there like terrified to this guy
not bad for him i was just terrified
you gotta watch it and people said
break or something yeah but he’s fucking up the
whole cause yeah
for all the redheads the redheads in one love yeah
crazy bitch
that’s the problem
is by the time you know you’re out there
looking for love you’re probably so goddamn damaged
yes most of us are fucking
damaged right i mean if you had to
guess like what amount of people are
still working on issues from a
childhood it’s a hundred
it’s a hundred yeah it’s not even really
damaged it’s
just that’s what happens you know well it’s also you
have to reprogram like the way you look at the world
you know you look at the
world a certain way because you
think you know that’s how you were
taught by your parents
and you know when you’re like in your
teen years you
start having to restructure
things your
teen years you
start looking at
things like
they don’t even know the fuck they’re talking
about they’re talking
crazy shit and you realize
god damn it my parents are just some fucking people
just like all the
other idiots that i mean all day
they just fucked
let’s see they’re no different than my
idiot friends
they’re no different than my
idiot teachers
they just fucked
they fucked and they made me
and suck shit
and so when
those teenage years when you’re
trying to reformulate the view that’s when it starts
and it continues through your
whole life you know
do you think that you
would be the same dude though if you have like a
i don’t watch that man
i just do you
think you would be the same dude if you had a perfect
childhood no i
think it’s just like that your
whole theory
about like you are how you
lived you know everyone
starts off the
same person pretty much
and just every single little thing that
builds do it i
kinda believe that you
know it’s like if you roll down the hill you’re gonna
in a mud you’re
gonna look different
than the person next to you yeah that’s why
people really have to have compassion
because you know
if we really are all the same
thing this is my theory if you
haven’t heard it before and
i had this when i was
ate some pot
and i was on a boat in hawaii and i was
on this boat and we were fishing
and there was dolphins that were next to the boat
the dolphins
were playing with us they
would get by the boat
and they would jump up in the air and we
would go whoa
and every time they
jump up in the air we go what’s up what’s up dolphin
and when we
would do that they
would get excited
and so they were
showing off they were
communicating
with us i was like god damn they’re so conscious
and i started thinking
about it like they’re responding to us i’m like
i wonder what life must
be like what consciousness must be like for the dolphin
and i wonder if it’s similar to
humans and i wonder if it’s the same
i was thinking i wonder if they have the
exact same consciousness
it’s just filtered
through an entirely different environment
a totally different
skin you know you’re in
a fish’s body
and a totally different way of communicating a totally
different language that’s almost indecipherable but
what if it’s exactly the same
thing the inside the consciousness
and then i thought
about it i’m like oh my god
what if that’s the case with people
what if we are all exactly the same
thing we just
are transmitted
through different
biological filters different life
experiences different
childhoods different everything
bad genetic
rolls of the dice i mean people are born with different
ailments and diseases and people are born crippled
you know what
the reason why you’re supposed to have
compassion is that easily
could have been you
it’s just like a filter
that the consciousness is
going through but the consciousness is one thing
it’s all the same
you are just
like me it’s just like and your uniqueness has to do
with your biology
and your interpretations of your
experiences as you’re growing up
you know your unique personality
your unique personality that everybody talks
about when you’re a child
could easily be attributed to
what kind of machine you’re running
you know let me tell you something everybody’s
biology is different you know that if you watch porn
right there’s people that were
blessed with gigantic dicks
and there’s poor dudes with little tiny dicks
and there’s girls with incredible
bodies and there’s
other girls that like
whatever no
matter what they do they can’t lose that last 20
pounds like that’s just fact that is what it is
you’re born with
there’s variables
like there’s
variables with oranges you’ll see one orange is big
and another one that’s not so big
they’re not all the same and
these various chemicals
and then on top of
these various chemicals
that are all in balance all
these different hormones
on top of that
then it’s like how does this particular
model interact with its environment
your own unique
experiences
i mean how many times
have you seen something your friends
didn’t and it fucked you up for the rest of the day
you know like
you see someone get hit by a car or you see something
and then you
have the same friends you go into the same and all of a
sudden you don’t want to hang out with them anymore
you think that
things are frivolous you
think they’re being retarded you hear
about a girl getting raped and you’re the one who
freaks out it’s
what you see one
thing and it will set you off in a certain direction
yeah and it’s
like so who the fuck knows what your personality is
you know who the fuck knows how much of it is your body
how much of it is your
experiences how much of it is what you
learn from your parents
and how much of
theirs is the same shit
how much of your personality is really just
you reacting
and saying what
you have to say and doing what you have to do to
get by in your environment but at the core of everybody
from fucking serial killers
to the most
compassionate
people on earth
it’s very likely
that the consciousness is the same male female
that’s all biological it’s very
logical that the
thinking it’s very possible
that the root of it all when you
think about yourself as you
that it’s all the same
that’s nuts
that’s nuts
somehow cats involved with it
they’re honest shit
they’re on some shit
yeah that’s really interesting because
then when there’s
like personality test on websites like
those dating websites we’re talking about
so like there’s
you take personality
test so you’re all trying to take a test that’s
based on what
you know the person
you know like
you know how did they know it’s kind
of personality tests are
stupid as fuck
that’s just like
same people that have glitter tags on
their myspace page
what are you taking
you don’t know what your fucking personality is like
why don’t you go sit down in the
grass by yourself and
think about shit
you know take a goddamn
meditation class
at a certain
point in time as a
human being you
become responsible for your own biology
you know and that’s what we don’t
teach people
we need to teach kids in school
there needs to be you
know you have math and you have english and
these are all very important subjects but
what we also need is how to manage your mind
how to think
how to think correctly
how to when something
comes up in your life how to deal with it and turn it
into something to your advantage
how not to go into a negative spiral and have your
whole fucking life fall
apart because of one
thing and that
these are it’s very important
that people
learn how to
think how to control your mind
you know and
how many people actually do that it’s not that many
right i mean
it’s not that many people really know how to think
you know how to
think positively how to affect
the people around you as positive as you can how to
move your life into the way
move your life into a healthy
place very hard to do
it’s because we’re all
starting from scratch
you know we’re all
starting from
scrub we’re all trying to read
books we’re
never taught that shit in school
they mean if they really want to
teach you how to be a good employee how to you
know make a good living
that’s all you
being a better person
being better at being a person being better at
managing your life is very important they
should be teaching kids
how to think correctly like
early in school and they
should have discipline
and i don’t mean discipline
by like you know
do what everybody tells you to do that’s not discipline
what discipline is
is you have
to do a certain amount you have to do something like do
anything anything that’s really hard like whether it’s
swimming or archery or
playing chess or
doing jiu jitsu
for kids having something that’s difficult
to do is very important they need to be pushed
it’s very very important you can develop
so much more
of who you are if you’ve already pushed your boundaries
if you’ve been lazy your
whole life it’s
so hard to get out of not being lazy anymore
and this is all shit that they
should be teaching in
school man they
should totally be
teaching that shit in
school you know
it’s not just history
you know when i was a kid they fucking
taught us columbus discovered america
you know that was
still being taught
and now we know for a fact he didn’t
i think it still is isn’t it
i don’t think so dude
really i mean he still
celebrated columbus day but i
think now they say he landed in the west indies
let’s read some questions
ladies and gentlemen
are we serious about that dolphin
stuff yeah man
dolphins rape other dolphins oh i know they do they do
they rape other dolphins they eat dolphin
babies it’s
you know infantricide
and dolphins i think that’s what it’s called is
what they do is the female
dolphins try to fuck as many male dolphins as they can
because if they run across a male dolphin that they
haven’t fucked and they have
babies the male
might kill the
babies to get the female to breed
because the
females won’t breed
while they’re taking care of the young
so they have to fuck as many male
dolphins as they can so that when they do come across
a male dolphin
and he sees them with the baby
if she fucked him he won’t kill the
babies cause he
doesn’t know if they’re his
it’s crazy humans
rape and kill
babies too so
yeah yeah i mean we don’t do it in such
large numbers as dolphins though
i mean dolphins do it like kind of like as a matter of
yeah but they’re more
bored there
in the water all day like what the fuck we don’t have i
think it’s that
their board i
think it’s that see they can affect
their environment we see
evolution in dolphins and it’s in a very strange
scale it’s very much different than ours it’s like
they’re super intelligent and
cognitive you
know they have
these amazing abilities to communicate
but yet they can’t move anything with
their hands they
don’t create anything so they’re out in the wild so
their world is just way
harsher they’re
basically dolphins
are like the fucking blue people in avatar
you know the blue people in avatar like
super intelligent but
these motherfuckers live in the jungle you
gotta be hard you know you
ain’t like some soft dude behind a computer keyboard
you know you
gotta be like that
crazy bit shooting
arrows at those crazy
black dog things
you know and that’s
what dolphins are like man they’re in the fucking woods
they’re in the
ocean but that’s
there’s sharks out there man
killer whales
eat dolphins
all the time they’re cousins imagine if your cousin
ate you killer
whales will fuck up some dolphins
they fuck up
sharks too killer
whales are the pimps of the ocean
they’re just running shit
you know they don’t take shit from nobody
you know the only people they do is people
that’s the only
thing that they take shit from
because people this is
a story that i read on the internet and this
i would like to
ask you twitter people and people
watching on you stream
i wonder if
the if it’s possible this is a true
story what i
heard was that
the orcas or killer
whales used
to attack people and attacking people for a long time
but then after
world war two
they stopped
and one of the
reasons why it’s because american soldiers
were apparently
targeting killer
whales in the
ocean for practice
you know that’s how they
would work on
their you know
shooting out of the
planes and they
would drop bombs on him and shit
the whales just
completely stopped eating people
i mean that
doesn’t that seems like something somebody made up
right doesn’t it
but what if it wasn’t
that would be pretty fucking crazy
you know because i know
cultures do have like images like old
eskimo images just like a killer
whale attacking people like really ancient stuff and
i wonder uh
that’d be interesting if they they knew what was up
you know if like
other all these
motherfuckers can fly now and drop
chips was okay we’re good
we won’t eat anymore we’re done just this bad we tap
imagine if they eat
everything else why
would they eat people
they save people all the time
like that’s really nutty
when you’re talking
about an animal that’s that intelligent
that murders dolphins
when people fall in the
ocean killer
whales have been
known and many times to
nudge people towards boats and help them yeah
same as dolphins
crazy yeah same as dolphins
then none of them fuck
with people
because we have the ability to change our environment
they’re just as ruthless
just as smart
but they’re fucked with
their bodies the little fucking
flippers and shit
they’ll fuck you up if you’re in
their world
but that’s what you need to get by in
their world our
world requires
much more finer moves
you know and our ability to
manipulate shit
like have things gone just
a little bit different in
evolution if you believe in
evolution you
know the dolphins and easily they
could easily be
brian shit the killer
whales and the dolphins
imagine if there was something like that with us
if those are all the same intelligence
imagine there’s something like that with us like some
giant trolls
that were just as
smart as us and
would come in and kill people
just show up at your village and
start eating us and just jacking us
well that is happening that’s us and monkeys
werewolf well that’s us and monkeys
if you look at like african
countries bush meat
you see they
sell chimpanzee
hands as ashtrays and shit
they just go into the forest and fuck
those things up and eat them you know
that’s pretty crazy
when think about it
what if there’s something like that with us whoa
that could happen man don’t
think it can happen what
wouldn’t like
yeah could you fucking imagine
i mean there is
there are predators
right humans
if you’re around them yeah like tigers and
stuff yeah but
you know for the most part they’re not intelligent
these fucking
things are intelligent
killer whales are just as
smart as dolphins they’re
genius yeah
they’re like as
smart as humans supposedly
well if that’s the case man
you imagine something as
smart as people but
giant and likes to eat us
robots no that’s what it’s
gonna be we’re
gonna build
we’re gonna
build our enemy
our predator we’re gonna
build our predator
some new monsters
gonna come from the sky
yeah we would never be able to get to this
point the reason why we’ve got to this point
culture with
technology and with our inventions and all this shit
the reason why it’s because no one’s been eating us
we’ve had all this downtime
with all this downtime to come up with
things because
otherwise we
would have never gotten to this
point you’d
never be comfortable enough to sit around
crunching algorithms
trying to figure
out how to make a pentium processor you
would never
get to that point
you’d be constantly running from the giant
troll people that want to eat your asshole
you know they
would just kill people
and the way chimps eat
monkeys you ever
watch the way chimps eat
monkeys yeah they like tear them
apart eat them
while they’re alive
yeah they don’t kill them
that’s a weird
thing about predators
seem to kill people
and then eat them
like big cats
you know like
you know animals that like kill
things for a living
you know like big cats big cats they only eat
grass so they can
throw up that’s all they do
and these animals
when they catch something
it’s very important that they kill it so they just grab
them by the neck and jack them immediately but like
chimps don’t do that
chimps eat berries they eat all kinds of shit they’re
omnivores they can eat meat or vegetables and fruits
so when they
kill monkeys
which is like
their favorite shit to do
love monkeys they love to eat them
and they have all
these elaborate traps
where they there’s you can see them online well
we’ll find you the the youtube clip i’ll find it
right now because it’s pretty fucking
trippy it’s
youtube i’m just
gonna youtube chimps eat monkeys
and my point is
they eat them alive man
they eat them
alive they rip them apart they don’t kill them first
that same thing with bears
bears you ever see like a bear when it
like that’s the thing about that timothy treadwell
dude that dude from grizzly man
the fucking
video or the
video is there’s a cap on the video when the bear
ate them but the
audio is there and the audio was seven minutes long
seven minutes long why is that not leaked yet
seven because the what the
woman who was his girlfriend didn’t want it to leak
if you don’t if you haven’t seen grizzly man
you must you must secret
zoom man it’s one of the most
genius fucking movies
ever and it’s like a subtle comedy
i mean it’s so hard to describe this guy was so insane
and he was living with bears
and the way it’s edited together
and werner herzog is typically not known for making
funny movies right
he’s like a serious director
right i don’t think he meant to make this
funny now but this guy’s so ridiculous he’s
oh look a bear
hey come here
come here he’s
gayer than ricky martin in a room full of dicks
he’s this guy so gay
and he’s like out there in the woods with a camera
going if i was gay i could just meet a girl and we
could just or could he meet a guy
in a restroom
we could just hook up
but i’m not gay so what do i do yeah kept on
bringing it up it would
do it in specifics i gotta just go to rest stop right
was a great movie i need a
fantastic movie grizzly man you have to see it
but this guy was like really
into saving the grizzly bear so he’s up there in alaska
and he’s like
you know the fucking park rangers
nice motherfuckers
i’m out here saving him
every day and the bears are looking like who is this
crazy bitch like
he wasn’t doing anything
he was letting people know that bears were there
but they knew bears were there
like he wasn’t
saving them they’re in a national park you know
occasionally there’s poaching but that’s
gonna happen
everywhere they’re not
gonna not poach
cause you’re there stupid
you know okay here
chimps killing and eating a monkey
i’m gonna take this
yeah this is the one it’s ruthless who
i’ll take this link and i’ll
throw it up on twitter
right now for my peoples
when i’m really high i can’t type that good
if i think about it
been to the zoo the los angeles zoo
yeah i don’t like to go to the zoo after
the last time i went i
wrote that piece
about the zoo the animal prison on in the blog
but i realized because i was
super baked
and when i you know like when i like
we talked about earlier when you
super baked you like much more sensitive
and i was watching
these animals i’m like
this is a horrendous life just because they can move
doesn’t mean they’re
alive they don’t
allow the predators to kill and eat
that’s like
they take you away and
you know you can’t talk to people ever again
you know you just
get locked up in a room by yourself and something else
other than you has to stare at you
and then you don’t even get to
you don’t get to
you know the
one pleasure that animals that are predators get i mean
the reason why they go
after the kill
it must be orgasmic
i mean it’s what they need to stay alive
and they’re doing it with
their mouth
and they’re feeling the life
leave the animal and i mean
it’s imperative
for them to be really awesome at killing
things in order for them to survive so
what is must that feel like to them must be incredible
when it feels good for us to fuck
and there’s so many
of us it’s like it’s not even important that we fuck
you know i’m saying
but your body
is so programmed by all the years of
evolution to
think that it’s very very important to make new
human being so
you get this fantastic reward when you fuck
it just feels so good
and what it really is is just nature trying to
trick you nature making sure that
you’re rewarded for doing what you have to do to stay
alive and to continue the race well
with a jaguar
every day you have to kill some shit
the the fucking the
physical rush the sensation of chasing something down
as it’s running
through the forest you’re not sure if you’re
gonna get it
and sometimes they get away and
bam you got that
motherfucker
right by the neck you feel its
heart beating its legs are kicking
and just put that little antelope down
that must be fantastic
must be fantastic and you don’t
even give him that you just put him in his cage and you
slide cold meat in a tray
and he eats it and just like what the fuck
what the fuck did i do to deserve this yeah
i mean if you’re
gonna keep them around
i could see
the argument much more to kill all the predators
than i could
to keep any of them around in cages
yeah you know because i
could see like you saying listen
we’re gonna get some
video of all
these animals that can eat us
we got some nice
video documented a
bunch of different
formats mpeg mov
put on iphone
and then we’re
gonna kill em we’re
gonna kill all of em
anything that kills us
but what if they were to do it like they
had a huge open crazy
space and they made it kind of like
fun and everything that they would want
but then they would like
throw in like art here’s a cow into the situation
well yeah yeah no
i don’t know i don’t
think you want them
the problem is people don’t want to see that shit
i mean at night
or something
how about the day
i mean if you’re
gonna do it
if you really want to
teach children
why is it okay
it’s kind of
funny because why is it okay to
watch something
like that on the national geographic show
you know discovery channel
they show you all the time
have you ever seen relentless enemies uh
maybe i’m pretty sure it’s called relentless
enemies it’s a fucking amazing documentary about
these lines in africa that are sized
they look like cartoon lines they’re a lot like like
like giant mike
tyson lines that it’s so ridiculous
and the females are bigger
than normal
african male lions or as big if not bigger
than normal african male lions
which is unprecedented
i mean that
never exists
these fucking lions are gigantic
and the reason why they’re gigantic is because
the river where they live
changed course
about a hundred years ago and
may not even
a hundred it
might have been
more recent than that i have to look it up
but they got
stuck on this one island
with water buffalo
only water buffalo
so in order to survive they had to only kill the
toughest thing to kill
so these giant fucking
water buffalos are dangerous as fuck
they’re super
powerful they got these
giant horns
and they’ll come at you and
stomp your ass
and they get broken legs and they can’t hunt again
and then they’re fucking starve to
death so it’s a fucking dangerous proposition
well these ants
these um these
tigers got gigantic because of it
they got fucking huge
and it’s really fascinating man really fascinating to
watch them you know try to
figure out how they’re
gonna take out these
water buffalo
and they’re just so much bigger than regular lions
it’s like it’s
crazy to watch man
really really intense documentary
you’re a huge documentary
you like how many documentaries
a day do you watch
two two three
i watch a lot of them
is it because
why you just like science have you always like science
i i do i just get fascinated by shit man
you know i mean just the fact that that
exists i mean if you how many people out there knew
but a lot of you guys knew
about those lines in africa
but you know you talk to like
cause you’re on the internet and shit and you’re
savvy enough to be on the you stream
but how many fucking people
really you know
know anything
about the animal
world or space or
you know i mean you
start seeing
things about like hypernovas
they blow up like
everything like
within you know
hundred million fucking
light years and
everything gets cooked and they
happen all the time throughout the galaxy like what
like what is this
they talk about how they
could eat if one happened like anywhere near us
would be cooked instantly
like it just blows
everything apart
all around it like this insane event
where these
spirals of energy
blast out from the sides and
it’s me it’s fucking nuts
it happens like
hundreds a day
all over the universe
td it’s like
to not be into documentaries to me seems way crazier
than to be into them there’s so much nutty shit
going on out there
and no one cares
you know the new
season of loss is
ready about to start
i can’t wait
i really can’t wait for that though
i’m jonesing dude
every time i see that commercial i’m just like oh it’s
gone there’s one
second avenue
the documentary on the alliance
folks i think it’s called relentless enemies let me
check right now
what is that
thing are you saying you have to
smoke cigarettes
oh no no i’m
jones and her lost
oh but you know did you hear somebody by
they want this is how
dumb somebody was went to go get the nicotine patches
and they wanted to quit smoking faster
so they put
every single one of the nicotine patches on
their body that you know you get a box of them and
and they thought that if they put more patches on
their body they would
still suck and here’s
here’s i can show you this right here
it’s called
relentless enemies is the
the documentary on the
lines now here
this is how bad people suck this fucking guy
dr leventt cackmore film guy
amazon com amazon com he says
how can someone mess up such a
great documentary film in such a
way i hope national geographic does something about it
and we can buy it
again i tried a couple different hd dvd
ok all right
he’s saying okay this guy saying that
no he’s saying that the dvd he got was
right any of the
other ones over there
but yeah it’s a fucking
it’s fucking amazing
it’s it’s amazing oh it’s saying we will not play on
xbox yeah that’s the problem with you know
digital media is pretty huge
right now yeah i saw somebody
bashing itunes the other
day i’m only
saying this it
doesn’t play
wow two out
of three are saying these
three reviews that are on the front page
anyway the documentary itself if these poor guys
could get their dvd to work
it’s fucking incredible
i mean it just shows you how
quickly life can adapt you know
the amazon rainforest has only existed
not in the amazon rather the congo
has only existed in that form
for like a few thousand years
and thousands of years before that it was like
grasslands so there’s animals that are
trapped inside the congo
that are animals that live on the grass plains
like rhinos are trapped in there and deer and antelope
and there’s one little antelope
that has developed the ability to swim
underwater because the cago is filled with water
developed the ability
to swim underwater up to 100 yards and it eats fish
and it’s a fucking antelope
and it’s got
these little short ass legs because evolution
dictated that this animal change
i mean and that happened over 2 000 years
there’s a fish
in the amazon that comes out of the fucking
water and walks yes it’s awesome
it’s crazy and it finds another
waterhole and
then there’s this fucking bird that eats it
that looks like a goddamn dinosaur it’s a six foot tall
evil giant bird
with this crazy big ass fucking beak
like this big killing machine
attached to its face
and it’s got
these dead eyes like these dead
crazy dinosaur eagle eyes
and it jacks this fucking old dinosaur walking fish
and you’re like whoa that’s a nutty goddamn
place that’s the same planet we live on yeah
that’s the same planet we live on
you see that old
video of like the eagle
like killing all
those goats like
throwing them
over the cliff
that shit’s awesome this
eagle just is like
on top of a
cliff and there’s all
these goats and it’s just like
grabbing them and
throwing them off the
cliff so they
would die and eat them at the body and it
could barely
carry them but it’s
dragging them like it’s like doing it on purpose
it couldn’t kill them if it was just on flat land
it knows it’s
gonna kill them by
dragging them off the rock i mean that’s incredible
yeah birds are
smart too man like that
whatever those
blackbirds are
ravens are so
smart they have
they use tools yeah you’ve seen that yeah
yeah i’ve i’ve
i’ve seen them do all kinds of creepy shit i had a
steak and i was trying to um
um thaw it out and i put it
on it was in in the wrap you know from the the
supermarket
and i put it on a
stone outside
my house for
a minute maybe a
minute i came out and
these crows were fucking it up
they watched me
they watched
me put it out and then they swooped in look at anyway i
think that is me this dumb
motherfucker left some meat out
like there’s no way he’s that stupid
he left some
meat out i’m telling you it’s me let’s eat it
and they landed on just her
fuck it up and i came out there was two of them just
fucking up the state wow
they’re so clever that’s
crazy a rat
wouldn’t have
seen it now
a flying rat even
flying right like a pigeon
imagine we had
flying rats around here how horrible that would be
with pigeons
pigeons are like flying rats
unless you’re raising yourself in the queue
i’ve been putting
bird feed out lately on my backyard and
the bird feed i put out
attracts these little
canaries and now i have just little canaries everywhere
never in ohio they don’t have canaries
or are they just
loose fellas very specific
have either of you guys tried
jwh01 i heard
about this the
other day what is it so
there’s a topic on your form about it
i can’t remember what is this oh my god
i hear this how crazy you internet kids are
you coming up with new ways to get high
it’s an analogy to chemical from the amino alkala
alkaline no
how do you say that and another
yeah amino alki
linda family
which acts as a cannabinoid
blah blah blah
blah well it must be something that gets you fucked up
there’s a lot of those
things too i don’t want
many different new things you know this sounds
crazy coming from someone who’s done
as many psychedelics as i have but i
think the shit that you
should do is the
shit that people have been doing for thousands of years
you know you can’t go wrong with
san pedro cactus you can’t go
wrong with cannabis mushrooms you can’t go
wrong with those
things ayahuasca
you can’t go
wrong i mean you can go wrong you
lose your fucking marbles
don’t listen to me
what i’m saying is
new stuff like you know hey man try this new shit
scientists fucking nasa labs man i just came up with it
um no don’t don’t do anything that people
haven’t been doing a long time yeah
don’t fuck with some new shit that they just invented
weed tests and you
smoke it and
makes you want to fuck animals you know
hell no follow the old indians
they were their beta testers yes you
know exactly
they were down with
pale that was
their shit the san pedro cactus the mescaline
i’ve never done that have you ever done that
see those is
crazy that these
things are illegal i mean
bill hicks had a great line
about that like isn’t there something
fucked up about making nature
against the law you know
which is totally totally true
i mean how could
you tell someone that they can’t have a life form that
exists naturally on this planet
whether it’s
cannabis or mushrooms or you know anything
anything that grows naturally
you can buy
it’s only anything that affects your consciousness
you can buy
stuff that’s poisonous
like you can
legally have a
bunch of different
plants that can kill you
a bunch of different plants
you know it’s
like you just having marijuana in your backyard is not
proof that you’re eating marijuana or
using it and
if you have all
these poisonous
plants in your backyard nobody
would even bat an eye
and that’s the same
thing as that i mean
it’s a personal use
issue you know
it’s really so weird
that people
allow in this day and
age with all the information that we have
allow plants to be illegal
man it’s fucking pretty incredible plants
it’s pretty incredible
it’s fucking really bizarre
that we have
we enforce it so strictly
it’s such a
strong ethic in our
culture that if we catch you
using certain
plants that
have nothing
to do with me they’re not affect me at all but if i
catch you with
these plants
i’m allowed by our laws to lock you in a cage
how crazy is that
if you have a
giant ass bag of mushrooms and you are
driving on your way to the woods
and a cop pulls you over and says what are you doing
well i’m about to have a spiritual
experience with the lord
the cop will go the fuck you talking about well i have
these mushrooms that i’m
gonna go out to get the fuck out of the car
get out of the car
he’ll handcuff you you fucking
idiot you tell me
about this i’m just letting you know man i’m just
nature’s it’s natural it grows on the
earth and it shut the fuck up
shut up i don’t
wanna hear it i wanna hear you hippie bullshit
right get in the fucking car
i just hit the
mother low with this
stupid fuck
this guy told me he had mushrooms on him how high is
he hahaha you
wanna eat yeah let’s go to sally’s
and then they meet up and they
feel good for locking this guy in a cage for having
plants on them yeah that’s
bizarre 2010
that’s strange
i mean it’s very hard to believe if that’s the case
you know what’s really strange about
2010 is that we’re
going towards
2020 that’s just
that that’s craziness it is crazy
just the sound of it
this guy says it’s because of
money though yeah it’s
definitely because of money
but it’s just it’s amazing
you know here’s the best example of how
it’s for sure politicians are whores
best example
nobody talks
about cigarettes
if cigarettes was if al qaeda
was killing 400
000 people in america
every year holy shit
would the war
against al qaeda
heat up it would be gigantic
as it is they’re killing people
most of them that they’ve killed you know
unless you listen to alex jones
this is the government
but most of them
are in other
countries i mean in this country
alone al qaeda is not over
here jacking people
but cigarettes are
cigarettes kill 400 fucking
thousand people a year i mean
compare something you use for
personal use to al qaeda is ridiculous
absolutely but
my point is like
it’s very dangerous
marijuana doesn’t do that
even alcohol
doesn’t kill that many people
think about how fucked up alcohol gets you
and alcohol poisoning
or alcohol deaths
it’s not nearly as high as cigarettes
cigarettes is a
motherfucker
and it’s so hard to kick
right you went back on him right yeah
brian i quit for a couple of
times that was
a year he’s done it a couple times and one little
thing will set that
trigger off in the back of his head it’s mostly stress
stuff it’s horrible but meanwhile it’s totally legal
and did we talk
about the oxycontin
express last week we did right
god we got my
cigarettes too
these are important
issues if you
haven’t seen the oxycontin
express get on that shit find it on
online i think it’s on youtube the
whole thing is in
it’s one of
those directive
versions so the
whole thing is on youtube
so this weekend you’re at the ice
house yeah oh yeah yeah we’re doing comedy this weekend
bitches making it happen he’s
gonna be joey is
yeah at the ice
house in pasadena
this friday we’re doing
two shows there and saturday we’re doing two shows nice
this guy says dmt is not easy to extract
but you ain’t no super
secret scientist are you
do do do
ever smoked banana peel see these motherfuckers
yeah i smoked a lot of shit when i was young it was
stupid i was trying to get high smoke like bamboo
leaves was horrible very harsh on the lungs too
mmm birds can be
scary they are on acid oh yeah
good point amazing cush
yeah birds can be some birds are
scary period man you ever look at an
eagles eye like
you ever seen a dude that has like a pet eagle
on those talk shows and they get
close up on an eagles eye
this girl i know just got an owl as a pet oh
and have you seen
those are murderers
owls are murderers i know it just sits in
their bathtub
room on the shower
thing yo that ain’t cool
that’s a predator
it’s crazy that’s
a real like owls look all fluffy and cool and
everything because everybody thinks
about them from
those goddamn tootsie roll commercials
tootsie pops
that’s not no that’s a fucking predator yeah
it’s even allowed to
have that what is it
about people
where we take
these evil predators
and we change what they are
right like polar bears
we got them selling
you know ice
cream and coca cola
polar bears are fucking monsters
polar bears
cover their nose
when they’re
sneaking up on
eskimo villages
so that they can’t see the
black that’s awesome
dude they learn how to do that hunting seals
they take their nose
and they hang over the edge of
a glacier a floating
you know ice raft
and they hang over the edge
so that these seals don’t see them they see white
everything’s white
if they see that black nose
they figured out that seals can see the black nose
that’s how fucking evil they are
and we got them selling ice
cream coca cola
tony the tiger that’s
great how about chimps man bj and the bear this dude
tooling around with a little pet monkey
how come bj and the bear
how come bear
never ate anybody’s face off
how come bear
never tried to bite some dude’s asshole out
and bite his
hands off i
think that monkey
ended up doing that of course
wasn’t that the
monkey that
was retired here in los angeles
yeah well they always retire
when they get
older because
you can’t control the old males
you can’t control them
the nearest
ancestors are it
doesn’t matter if you
raise them they’re
completely wild
you cannot stop that
that lady just thought just because
she was putting a diaper on this chimp
you know and
given it xanax and she
would give it
wine and shit it was like a fake boyfriend she had
like this fake
monkey boyfriend
and she thought she had that
thing under control
then it just decided to eat her friends face
it’s like i don’t fucking like you
i don’t like you he didn’t i mean
there was no
fight they weren’t brawling
shouldn’t hit him with a rock
he shouldn’t do shit
just attacked her and
ate her face whoa
i mean even dogs don’t usually do that
you know you get a guy who’s got a
crazy dog they don’t attack your friends
yeah how often does that happen
unless they kids
yeah because they
think kids are animals
they don’t respect them
all that shit
about my cat really freaks me out
talking all that shit
about my cat killing me
cat probably would kill anything you know
if you had a little pet tiny monkey
a little monkey like that big
would you be
safe leaving in a room with this fluffy cat fuck no
she’d murder that thing yeah
i’d come home that’s guts
would be all hanging
out and she’d be looking at me like she’s my friend hi
not even like she’s evil
poor little
monkey was a little
monkey family she killed them too the little
monkey babies merciless
that should be purring
rolling around the dead bodies
especially with her claws
yeah she’s got real claws yeah
she’s not declawed he’s declawed
they have these things i just
found i don’t know if i told you this or not
where they go over the claw you use glue
and you put glue in
these little claws and it goes over the claw
so they think they have claws
still but yeah we had that with him
after a while they pop off they pop off yeah pop off
quick they pop keep choosing them off too and they
like jack and everything
ah that sucks yeah
i would let him keep his claws i don’t care i think
it’s fucked up to take their claws
if you see a youtube video they actually cut off a
knuckle they cut off this part of the
knuckle i’m not into that that’s craziness
my cat killed a rabbit when it was a kitten damn
that’s a that’s a rough story agent alien
i believe it though cats are ruthless
i grew up in a nahud
where a crow
could talk his name was cr
and he would come when called
wow you know what
if i had never read anything
about crows or watched a video
until i’d be like that guy’s crazy crows coming through
yeah your pet crow
totally the same crow it’s not like they’re all
black right
you know and they figured out you have food you know
i find it weird when people have like
squirrels as pets or raccoons and
stuff raccoons are
crazy to see that one
video with a raccoon a dog or
wrestling yeah like they usually
fighting to the death
i know you know raccoons fuck dogs up man they rip them
apart yeah they’re
scary animals raccoons are mean
i see them all the time in my neighborhood
raccoons and
skunks and rats
books we lost to history that would have changed the
world that’s a long article is it good
i’ll check it out
we’re gonna read some questions here one year no
cigarettes this guy says
all it cost me was a girlfriend the dog she took
my waistline and my sanity wow
and then you get hit by a bus tomorrow so i guess
am i gonna smoke you just didn’t deserve the cigarettes
after she left you or you couldn’t afford them
after she left you
or you quit the cigarettes and because you quit the
cigarettes you went crazy
and you were like aggro and then she left you
is that what you’re saying
and she took the dog
you stick your waistline but the waistline that’s good
right you want to lose lose some weight probably
unless you’re like one of those dudes in the guts
apparently there’s a lot of gay dudes
that are into
like guys with guts
like that they like to have a guy with a big gut inside
his cock yeah
i think they like where are those ladies at
cause i got some i think with
you know i mean there’s fetishes
just like some dudes are like really in a feat
some dudes are really into like girls with
specific type of toenails and what come on girls toes
you know i think we gay do is just get into a certain
thing like they see some
crazy homophobic trucker
is all methed out at the
truck stop and they just wish they
could just suck his cock
cause he hates them
you know he hates them something
about them it just turns the gay guy on
that’s my theory
that’s a fight that guy
big fat gun
suck that dick what
i love people
like this there somebody just ask you know
they’ve been trying to see your
tattoo for three weeks they’ve been asking
now wouldn’t you think like
online you can see yeah what i say
wouldn’t this person just google
if he really cared that much joe rogan tattoo
that’s the kind of people i hate
you know it’s like
people that
well i don’t hate
but i hate people when they ask me all
these questions
i’m like man is your fucking google broken
that shit happens to me all the time yeah people
there’s some people that just don’t have good friends
that i talk to
lazy fingers
you know the only problem with
marijuana there is one problem with marijuana
and it’s some of the marijuana community
a lot of mooches yeah you know
a lot of mooches and dirty hippies
brian left listen it’s just you and me now
do you think i should get rid of him
should i kick him out of the room and just have it all
about us say listen man you did your part today
it’s me my people
by this dude is saying
i did a job ct dirt says i did a job
and these people fed wild raccoons
and they scratch at the door like a cat
wow that’s crazy
that’s nuts man
makes sense i’ve seen
squirrels that you can feed there’s a park in
north hollywood
and if you bring peanuts if you
especially you lie down so the squirrel
doesn’t feel
like you know you’re in a threatening position to
chase after him
you know you lie down
like on your stomach and you hold up in the fucking
scroll come up to you real gingerly
make sure you’re not
crazy and he’ll take that peanut
and some dudes
that the squirrels know really well they’ll just sit
right in front of the dude and eat his peanuts
like right there
like this one there was this one old chinese guy that
apparently goes to the park
every day and he
brings peanuts
and so he’s sitting there with
these peanuts
these squirrels are coming
right up to him they’re just holding his hand
while they’re taking the peanut like he’s
their little friend like they’re not
worried about him at all it’s kind of
crazy crazy to
say by the way
to joe this is that new digital camera i reviewed
if you guys
ever hear him say this before if you ever want
to like buy something
like and you know that he’s reviewed
it you gotta
watch his reviews he’s
crazy there’s something
wrong with him
and he gets like
super into the technical aspects of anything technology
you know like
phones and like his reviews of
phones he kills
those guys at end gadget
those bitches you can’t hang with brian
the problem is a lot of
these websites are getting money
yes you know they’re getting like they’re
gonna get we’re not saying that
ng gadget does no no no but
if they review
favorably say like an
apple product
then the next time
apple has a
product out they’ll give them like an exclusive
because you know
so it’s like a lot of
these websites don’t want to bash or tell the
truth because they don’t want to ruin future
products and
stuff like that so anyways
this is a new camera
world works yeah
this is new camera films hd
it’s high quality hd
60 frames per
second i have the
whole review at redband com
stereo microphone so if you’re looking for a
small digital
video camera
this shit what’s the
model name brian it’s sony dsc
tx 7 and redband
redbn com i have the
whole review there
this dude says podcast
my big girl
says podcast from the sensory
deprivation tank
maybe that would be a fucking cool thing to do
you know what i should do sound like this
would it be would it sound like that it
was is there a way
that i could have something recording sound in there
well you know you know you can’t get it wet
i mean we could hook a
might put a microphone right at to the next to it but
i mean it was some
old bulls you know and all that stuff
because it’s echoing in there yeah but who wants to do
oh you mean just lay there and talk yeah
well we could just turn off the
lights here and you can talk in the dark no
no i’m gonna totally do that
wouldn’t that just like defeat
the purpose
of being in a
isolation tank
no because you’d be too
focused on talking to people no no no because it
would be talking to people your mind
would work so much better than it works
with sitting
in a normal environment like here talking to you and
sitting on a
couch and the
lights and the laptop and all this
input coming in
you don’t realize how much this has an
effect on your ability to
see things clearly
and you see
things very very
clear in that tank
and i think if you’re in that tank and you just
start talking
it’s gonna fuck up a little bit of the
experience cause you’re
gonna hear things
you gonna hear yourself in both in your ear
so here in your ears
and you hear it in your head you’ve lost your mind joe
but i think
i will do that we’re
gonna figure out a way
where i can do a podcast someday
from the sensory deprivation
tank by someday
i mean like within a month
i don’t mean like
when i’m old
and ready to die
hey gay band
the original question
three weeks ago was why does joe
always wear long
sleeves well hey
retard go google that
because i bet you joe’s answered that
wow i thought that was totally
that was really was unnecessary
he called me gay man i’m allowed to say something back
wow don’t you know
says you’re an asshole but he’s look at it
i can’t take him seriously because
he says brian is a fkk
a hole if you ask me
well i’m never gonna ask you anything
if that’s what you write in fkk
that’s really you
i can’t talk to you dude
brian’s the third wheel
how how dare you brian’s very talented
been as too much negative energy
he doesn’t have negative
energy is like the this the safest
most non dangerous negative energy ever he’s a nice guy
leave him alone you fucking creeps
why won’t dana let you show your tat in the usa
no it’s not that
it’s just it’s a distraction it’s not necessary
you know it’s not
about me when i’m on the ufc it’s a hundred percent
about those dudes that are fighting i just try to do
my part my commentary and explain
and be enthusiastic and be appreciative
but it’s not about me you know
that’s why i dress like such a retard
i’m not trying to shine
and wearing a nice suit you know i’m saying look at my
cuff legs look at them diamonds i’m not trying to
look good at all i’m just trying to just do my job
what’s important is not me
what’s important is these
these guys fucking
throwing their bones at each other in the octagon
it’s not me
what kind of weed did we smoke before the show
well mr federal agent
that’s one of the funniest
things that i like when someone will ask you a
stupid question
and someone will go like laziest homo ever
laziest pedo ever
de asias dea
agent ever and it’s like become like a
standard like i don’t know who was the
first one to do it but i’ve seen it on
many forums
right i don’t know
where it started from
but so many
people do that now someone will ask a dumb question
and someone will chime in
you know chime
in with that i mean it’s really funny like
whenever people
ask like drug questions like hey man if i’m
tallahassee
we’re gonna get dmt
and someone will
write laziest dea
agent ever right
it’s become a part of it
would you say that’s the lexicon how
would you say
the vernacular
what else bryce any good questions
what kind of weed do you smoke before a show man
yo you want to
smoke what kind of weed you got
the kind that comes from
california that’s the funny thing i was talking
about marijuana supporting these mexican drug
hotels what are you talking about stupid
the pot that i buy is bought
this guy’s growing it
right over there you can go to his house i’ll show you
where lives
the fuck you talking about he’s not al qaeda
and he’s not a mexican drug lord
he’s right down the
street he’s a nice guy he’s got plants
he’ll sell you them
he waters them
he put fertilizer and shit does a great job
the fuck man and it’s great there’s a website called
webbed our we tracker
calm we met this guys in san francisco
but each store has a
own forum and so like you like find what
stores near your house and then you go to this
has like a little website just for that
store and every day they’ll say we got
train wreck in
we this is our specials you know and
stuff like that and it’s
great people review it and
oh it’s incredible it’s amazing it’s so at this
point it’s so free here in california
that it literally is like pot is legal it’s just
it’s very close right like what’s in between
like what’s
well they’ve passed one step of a
multi step process to making it
legal for responsible use
for adults over you know probably over 18 or 21
i mean it should be over 18
i think i think that’s reasonable
you know like alcohol i think
i think alcohol
should be 18 with supervision
meaning like you know it
should be okay for like your dad to give you a beer
when you’re
18 years old you know or you come with your dad to a
place where his
buddy has a bar and
you know just kind
of come on boys grab
beers never had a beer before
you know slowly introduce them into the
world and make it like it’s no big deal you
learn you gotta
learn how to hold your liquor okay you
understand and
learn from your fucking father you know
like as a young man
like let him
take away all the mystique of what alcohol really is
and that should be the same
thing with weed
the real problem with
anything that affects your mind
is that we don’t have enough people out there
that are explaining to people how to manage that shit
and with alcoholics at
least they have alcoholics anonymous and
you know they can help
guide you back on the
right track but
you know there’s
no people out there that are telling you
you know like explain to how to incorporate weed
successfully in your life for the maximum benefits
you know i mean shit
maybe we should
write a book about that
because it’s a fucking good idea
because what really we need in this country
and it sounds like
all spiritual
crazy voodoo
but we need shaman
and what a shaman is
in like in the
amazon rainforest of the guys who make the
ayahuasca it’s a dude who’s been there done that
he’s done it a thousand times he knows what to
expect he knows what’s
gonna happen
he’s not scared of it he
enjoys and welcomes the
experience he
could talk you through it you don’t have to
freak the fuck out
this guy’s gonna help you
he’s gonna sing songs
gonna comfort you
they’re gonna play the drums
and you’re gonna get to talk to dead people
i mean that’s what it is it’s a shaman
and we need a shaman for marijuana
and we really
could use a shaman for alcohol too
there should be someone who
culturally explains to the
group i mean it
should be like
expressed as an
ethic through the entire
human community
that there’s
it’s wrong to be
drunk and obnoxious and be a fucking douchebag and ruin
other people’s good time
that should be something we all
agree upon shouldn’t be something funny like
oh remember that
time you got
drunk and rip
that girl shirt off
that that should be
horrifying to everyone involved we should
all that is is the reason why we don’t address that is
we have this
crazy way of looking
at drugs we look at drugs like somehow i know
they’re all bad like they’re all
under this same
is one gigantic carpet of
everything’s bad for you
look it’s not necessarily bad for you
it’s only bad for some people
it’s good for some people the
experiences
benefit you they make your life more interesting
should the shaman be driving
while giving advice no
that’s a problem if you get eighteen year old
that person just got
their license
two years ago they don’t even know how to fucking
drive you know
drive reckless yeah they
drive too fast and they’re
not good at it that was me i was terrible driver
when i was so
lucky to have a dwi
yeah yeah yeah you ever get one no
never got one had how
yeah i never
drove that drunk but
i probably could have
like you know the legal
limit is like
one beer an hour
pretty much
it’s one bear yeah
yeah if you have one beer and you get pulled over
20 minutes later yeah
i bet you probably get now yeah
maybe if you
say borderline
for than half an hour the
second beer right
that’s crazy
but with a lot of people that’s good man
they really shouldn’t be driving
anthony from opie and anthony
has a really interesting
point it’s like what if i’m good when i
drive drunk
but that’s not a good
point if you kill a kid
you know slam into a family well i
would say i’m better than average driving
drunk but you know
there’s no test for that you know
unfortunately they came to sit
you down go okay you got to play fucking pole position
for an hour and showing
skills that’s the
thing about marijuana is that people are just more
cautious when they’re on it
you know people
think that marijuana affects your reaction it
doesn’t it really doesn’t
i smoke marijuana and i do jiu jitsu
all the time
so does eddie bravo
sort of like
a bunch of different like really high
level brazilian
jiu jitsu guys like forget about me
i know guys that are like
world championship
black belts
that love to get high
and then go do jiu jitsu
like it makes them connected
to the movements better
it makes you very coordinated when you’re high
but it’s more like we were talking
about earlier with being paranoid
paranoia is like
too much information
you don’t know how to manage it it’s not
that it’s a bad thing
you’re just getting
too much info you’re not keeping up with it that’s
where it all comes from
dan check this out
his this dude’s cousin was
going to jail but
after having to do
two duis but the policeman that arrested him died
so now you know there’s no
you know proof or whatever so
that’s crazy look
for everybody but the cop yeah
joe you’re gonna
be in celebrity rehab the next few years
oh totally have you
watched that show
yes i watched one episode
because stanhope
was mocking dr drew and i said alright let me
check this out
it’s like wow what a
train wreck
i mean it’s
great it’s fun to watch
i’m not addicted to anything that i don’t
think i could stop
i don’t have a problem with anything
right now i used to
you know my real problem has
never been drugs
my real problem is games
i have a serious addiction to like
video games
and to pool
pool i think is a little bit more
meditation because it’s like a lot of hand
eye coordination you have to
steady your
nerves and it’s all
you know controlling the ball
but i get obsessed with games
when i get when i play
i used to play quake
and i used to play no bullshit
eight hours a day at least
every day i was online i
loved it and
i’m avoiding that on purpose so if i had like a
thing that i needed to kick at any
point in my life
it was never drugs drugs
weren’t ruining my life but
video games were kind of ruining my life
not ruining it but they were it was
becoming an obsession
the problem is i
enjoy the fuck out of it
quake is so goddamn fun
you know you
tried to quit
caffeine now
you ever tried to quit
caffeine yeah i’ve quit
caffeine i should
start it is hard
you know when i realized i needed to quit i was writing
a blog a day
you know that one time before i
filmed my special i
wrote a blog every day
so i was up
every night really late because that’s when i
write my best shit so
every night i was
drinking coffee at like
10 o’clock oh and i was i mean this kind of coffee too
i don’t fuck around
i use a french
press you know
it’s like i
grind my own coffee
you know you get a bird
grinder and i get
these beans only from
these kona beans from hawaii and my favorite
this coffee wolf
fuck your world up this shit is
strong and i
would take it at like 10 o’clock at
night and man
i couldn’t get to bed
until five six o’clock
in the morning and then when i finally did crash
i felt like shit the next day
and i did it
a bunch of days in a row then i
tried to stop
i want to try to stop i got
these serious headaches
like dull like
pressing headaches
like it didn’t even feel like coffee
could fix them
it felt like i just like a
short circuit in my
brain or something
the fuck is calling me
touching my podcast
fuck kind of
bullshit sick
hmm
my apologies ladies and gentlemen
don’t you feel less energy doing
exercising after you smoke weed
no i’m the opposite
especially if it’s a good sativa
that’s what
people don’t know
people that are outside of
california most of what you’re getting is called
indica and indica
is a very different kind of marijuana than sativa
there’s two types
there’s indica
which is like relaxed
couch weeds like
oh dude just go and
chill you know what i’m saying
that’s og cush
weed that’s the
way that makes you want to eat and fuck up your diet
man fuck the diet
you know but sativa
is i want to
watch a documentary sativa is
you know you want to
watch the cosmos and see carl
sagan on tv and
carl sagan by the way
smoke pot every day
that was the shit
and carl saying was a huge
activist and advocate of
marijuana and enhancing perceptions with it
bitch this guy bro
is another chick
i understand that you and
brian had a little falling out okay
let’s just be nice
fella there’s no need to get crazy
people are so emo
yeah there’s a lot of emo people
the mark gaden
i wonder which guy’s got the mark gaden now
a lot of people have the mark it’s mark no
i heard it’s not
sounds like goddamn questions
this guy says i grow two strings sativa
you’re right joe
first of all don’t ever say you’re
and spell it like that you are you why oh you he didn’t
spell you are
which is the gayest way ever what are you a little girl
texting your
i hate that why oh you
and it’s not an r
there’s an apostrophe and then there’s an r e it’s
short for you are it’s not
short for something i own you
motherfucker
have you been playing
quake life at all
i fucked that up all the time though
everybody you were you were
sometimes i do it i’m like man
you’re writing
especially if you can type fairly
quickly you just
things come on fucked up so i was
thinking about getting a regular phone a
skinny like
razor phone right
on verizon network
and then getting that the ipad
so like if i’m like out in my car
let’s pull up my ipad have a better internet but have a
solid phone hmm
go so you’re
gonna go back go back i
think just because
but what if someone sends you a
picture or a
video on your
phone some asshole all those
i can’t believe this
all those do that now
yeah you know
why did they go with at amp t
well you don’t have to
you don’t know if you
rise well here’s
the thing no one’s
thinking of this they have
those my files now
so you just have your mind
by that verizon
network and now you have verizon anywhere you go
you know really
yeah they have
these boxes
that connect
and then broadcast wireless
it’s called myfive remember i showed you them
right they’re
about this big
so if you have a little case like a statua
that you have your
ipad in just have that
throw that in there turn it on and you have verizon
wherever you go look at this
motherfucker just hacking the
system bitches yeah
and that’s another
thing that’s
gonna be big man persons are
gonna have to come back because of this thing
you know man
versus you’re a big advocate
of the man i love i actually bought a domain name
i told you i was addicted to domain names i bought ipad
sling so if you know anyone that
wants to buy
those oh shit
you know anyone that makes
purses i just my
laptop no i don’t know anybody who makes
purses god damn it
i don’t wear a man yeah
man you man those man pouch
those man bags
they look like a
fucking purse to me
fanny pack looks like a manly choice
fanny pack doesn’t though you’re in a fanny pack
for the chin
all your stuff is
right there somebody wants
something you just unzip and you get it to him it’s
right there see i like my little
man purse that look because it’s
made for guns
so it looks like a gun statue
but it will fit the ipad
so it doesn’t look good now
it’s for jewelry
no it doesn’t
i have a review of that and some stick and
mirrors here
yeah but you like
like stepdad
style you got like the
hey let’s go to
the you know disney
big manly ass fucking fanny pack
i like fanny
pack so wear them all the time you
should have a
company and then you can also sell ice or
ipad sling i don’t want to sell an ipad
sling but i’m not buying the ipad
but i if i didn’t have a kindle
i would see what you’re saying
and but what if you want
to buy a portable dvd player for the car or something
you’re like you want a good one though
it’s like wouldn’t you pay a little
extra if you
could download the movies
while you’re in the car
okay first of all
how dope would it be
if you had a
screen in your car
that’s that big no you can do that you can make that
screen in your car
and install it as a
screen yeah you
could totally do that was
thing that on the way over
imagine that gpa that
might be that
might be the
greatest thing ever
and it’s got 90
how many inches
is that it’s 97 inches across it’s so thin they
could just fit it
right in your
car it’s better your dashboard fitted for it right
whoa you know what’s really
funny is a lot
of people are bashing on it that’s not widescreen
well all right
there’s gonna be the bar on the top and the bottom so
they wanted a widescreen so what do you mean
they wanted us to
they wanted them to chop off like the
top and bottom or make it bigger if you make it bigger
then that thing
would be this big but widescreen
so it’s like a letterbox
thing when you
watch a video you see
a little black screen
but that’s what
they had to do that’s what they had to do man duh
people don’t get widescreen
i don’t get it
it definitely
is better to have something that you can read books and
watch movies on
if you look at it that way
but the way i am
video games
stills not that
appealing to me because i already have a laptop
and if i’m gonna spend time
like what is it
gonna give me that the laptops not going to
i can watch
movies on the laptop and
which will be on that
what else can i do
i get online on that i get line on my laptop better
so what am i doing with it
the applications really
am i no all
right it’s the size of a book so what they’re
saying is that what if you use it like you have a
razor phone in your pocket and you’re
going to the comedy club and you have this little
thing the size of a little notepad
it’s in a little
leather pouch you
can’t keep that
bitch in your pocket you’re
gonna pretend that you’re
gonna carry that
thing around with you everywhere
well now that you
throw it in
the car it’s like it looks like a little book
it’s a little book
you know so you
throw in the car so that you
could use it when you’re out when you’re out
you if you have it in the like
steve jobs it’s
like people
gonna bring those
things to restaurants
instead of texting they’re
gonna be sitting there little books
moving yeah
little books
doing little g
emails checking
their calendars
steve jobs you bastard i
think people are bassing and
freaking out
about because there’s a couple
things that
that it doesn’t do off like
doesn’t do flash and
stuff but that’s another reason
steve jobs is fucking us up i
think once that
leaves on the
market people are gonna go
crazy for it it’s
technology all
right let’s read some questions from
these people
gears of war fuck yeah that game is awesome
that’s another game i’m scared of that game
i don’t wanna get locked in that world
i’m playing that shit online every day
too fun man
remember when we got a chance to see that early on
we got a chance we were in
north carolina and i met
cliffy b from epic games
and he got us in and we got
a look at the the
models of gears
gears of war way before it was released it was fucking
crazy and the new
stuff they’re working on
like these new enemies they’re so insane
like he showed us a demo of some of the
stuff and the guys at id software did too tim willetts
and todd holland
said and john carmack and
those guys those guys are
super cool they let us come and
check out all the new
stuff they’re doing
that’s my favorite all time games
quick but like i said i’m scared
did you know that there’s a
they did a report on
browser crashes on computers yeah
and i think it was 85
of all browser crashes
were because of flash
whoa that’s a big number
whoa 85 because
other than flash
you got javascript you got a couple
things but 85
that’s crazy like how is that
allowed well
that’s just it people are
freaking out
about something it’s a plug in
you know html
50 is about to come out
which will make
flash pretty much
unnecessary
what how does it make
flash unnecessary well
see the problem is they
started using
flash back in
the day because that was an easy way to take
video put it on the internet so anyone can
watch it because
people’s internet
connections kind of sucked and
it was in one format
what html 50
does is pretty much to make
i think it’s h264
video will just play in the
browser kind of like how a gif
works you know like
animated gif will work
no matter what because it’s
made in the coding of the browser
so this will make
videos and stuff like that
just be in the coding and just work so
and guess who’s
guess who’s making or editing the html l point 50
coding this is kind of interesting
a guy that works at google
and the guy that works at apple
so you have long had this theory that
there’s a battle going on between
apple and flash and you
think that one of the reasons why apple
has such a hard time working with
flash is to make it shitty on purpose
so that people move away from flash well i think that’s
a good theory definitely but
the big thing is is that
no one in silicon valley works together
like amazon and
apple and they’re all not working together as a team
they’re all like having to fight
and do and you know like
the opposite of what this person’s doing like if
flash releases a new plug in
you know that works with firefox or whatever
it but doesn’t work for safari
they’re trying to work for
safari but safari changes something and then fucks all
their shit up you know it’s constantly like that with
everything in silicon valley
because they don’t work together they don’t
work together
interesting it’s odd that they’re working together
are you sensing a conspiracy brian
i’m sensing
flash is getting pushed out for some reason
mostly because the security reasons it’s very open for
you can get hacked
and security
with flash and
stuff like that
and i think it’s getting pushed out
especially when html
50 comes out
which is probably coming soon
html 50 can’t do what
flash does buddy
and it’s proprietary codec it’s what
this is what this guy says filbert double o seven and
whatever yeah go go
google search html five point o
go look at wikipedia or whatever
and it will even explain it in there it’s pretty much
known that once html five
point o comes out that flash
for the most part is
gonna be hurting
hmm okay well
the gauntlet’s been thrown down a challenge
has been made
youtube has already
switched over to all
their videos to 50
what is this guy’s asking what is so as vimeo vimeo com
i believe just
switched over to
250 ready meaning that’s why
youtube now works on your iphone hold on a
second this guy’s asking a question
what’s with the censoring on this social message board
does what is the
sensor it’s
like if you try to twitter something and you swear
or on this will it
change it uh
maybe is that why that guy
wrote that’s fucking like that oh
maybe i don’t know
is that true
folks you can’t
swear on this
it’s probably a setting if there is
it has to be a setting please tell me that’s a setting
that is you know people don’t
think that’s
a big deal like i always make a big deal out
of the fact that you know censorship with certain words
you know and
people say that what’s the big deal you know
why do you have to be rude why can’t you just
you know not say
those particular words running
around certain people are in certain situations like
that’s a way
of controlling us it’s nonsense it makes no
sense whatsoever
words don’t mean anything
other than intention
what’s important is
that you’re expressing your intention you’re expressing
what you’re
thinking the idea of
magic words is
it’s poison
to the language
it’s terrible
to have words that you can’t use around certain people
and you can’t use when you broadcast
them you find hundreds of thousands of dollars
that is just a gigantic distraction
that’s complete
total mind control it’s a technique
that they’re
using to try to control the
population there’s no
other way around it
why else’s censorship is what
it offends people why does it offend people
you don’t have to listen to it the government’s
going after it
why they going
after they’re going
after it because some people
are very offended by whether it’s religious people or
you know really
conservative people but why why they offended by its
it’s nonsense
it’s a fucking huge distraction it’s just a word
whether you say i fucked her or i had sex with her
you can’t say i fucked her
like is that really hurting someone’s feelings
so so what happened
on the you know the
night that you proposed to your wife well
i fucked her
you know me is that a bad
well i had sex
with her it’s the same
thing you’re saying the same thing
like it’s not offending me if you say you fucked her
you know if you say ah that fucking hurt i’m not
gonna get why
would i be upset
what kind of a douchebag gets upset
if you stub your toe and you go
ah that fucking hurt ugh
who gets mad at that
who the fuck
thinks that’s
wrong to say
that’s it’s a trick
yeah but if we didn’t do that then words wouldn’t be
as powerful as they are now they
would be just as powerful if you
fuck you you’re like yeah whatever i
heard fuck you five times a day you hear fucking five
times a day already dude
that’s the problem
it was like some exotic word that nobody use like
like cut still has a good amount of zing
to it it’s the only one you know
other than rachel epitaphs
there has to be a way to turn off the censoring thing
right i don’t know ladies and gentlemen
is there a way to turn it off the social
stream appears to be censored because why
would they censored that but yet i could say funk
fuck cunt bag
right now and that’s even worse than i don’t know man
it’s how you say it this man says
what i let my kids
fuck yeah it’s just words god damn it
people are so
weird wow you really are censored i don’t see a single
swear no one can
swear now everyone has to write that effing
i think it’s twitter it’s not twitter that’s nuts
it must be you stream
yeah it’s totally you stream
but it might be just a said you
could you could say anything on twitter
okay well that dude who was talking earlier
with th chit
and we were giving you a hard time with the way you
wrote something
i completely apologize sir
i was out of line
i did not know that you actually couldn’t
write the word fuck and you had to
write all that
other nonsense
my apologies kind sir
all right so it
doesn’t look like you can turn it off or at
least no one
say anything
teach that to a kid and have him repeat it in
school i don’t know what this question was about sir
okay well thank you austin curtis
austin see curtis because it wasn’t for you we
even have known that it is censored
this guy says the bible is just rubbish
english people have such cool things to say
rubbish yeah i mean that
sounds fuck yeah but they have some gay
things that they say yeah the boys
go to the lou
yeah take a league
but you know what my favorite is proper
you know like if something like oh that’s a proper
sports car yeah proper
i like that i like that
i like when they say that there’s something that
sounds dope
about that now that’s a proper cell phone
you know did you see it on the telly
fuck you in the telly
yeah well the telly doesn’t bother me that
much i like england though man i
enjoy it over there doing comedy over there is fun yeah
they’re fucking cool you know
it’s like our comedy
translates directly to them shit
their comedy doesn’t translate the same
you know like their stand ups don’t
translate as some of them make it over here
i mean obviously
sasha baron
cohen who in my opinion is one of the funniest guys
of all time
but he’s not really a stampedon
like he’s like a crazy prankster
hilarious guy
you know do you see somebody was fucking a chicken on a
subway yesterday and somebody recorded it on
video just like you know how it saw set and
it’s one of the sides of the
apocalypse yeah that shit is
i think it’s on d listed dot com
how did it get hard oh you can say cunt if you
space it out this guy wrote cotton yeah
word spaced it out you clever bastard
it’s just like battlestar galactica
they just start changing the words they’ll be farking
yeah like that was the craziest
thing ever on battlestar galactica what the frak
look you could really say that i mean
so dumb it just shows you how dumb it is that we
still have magic words that you can’t say
yeah people having sex with chickens is freaky
you’ve seen chicken porn i
think that egg hole is supposed to feel real good
it’s weird that like some animals like what sheep
are supposed to have like a perfect
feeling vagina
it was supposed to be just like a real one yeah
sheep’s supposedly
yeah which is
weird i know
right it was when
jesus took a
pet girl yeah
right banging
sheeps and shit
this dude is
pretty funny z the
dirty banana says
my brother in laws are brit
i like when he says proper fucked
like one describing trash
that’s totally how they would say it
might i was proper fucked
come on that’s a cool fucking
thing to say fucked
that’s and you have
to say that but that’s like something you have to say
with an english accent
and say like yeah i was i was out there
we were getting
drinking we had a fucking
drink on listen i was proper fucked
people go what
fucking shot a cunt
i was proper fucked
yeah the way they say
cunt is so much better cunt they say cunt constantly
comes fucking cunt with the fucking cunt
like cunt is not as strong
over there as it is over here
because they
say it all the time it’s like they’re way more
liberal with the used to work
on chicks throw a cunt around all the time
on every fucking cunting cigarette
cunting is a
great word when cunts not good enough
it’s cunting you know
it’s like takes cunt deeper
it’s like you’re so
so bored with saying cunt
you say cunt so
often that you add an
ink on the end of it
that’s how hard you roll
fucking cunting
cigarette you know you say that man
that someone’s used to
cunt cunting fag i need a
smoke a fag
we need a stoner president that we get
things done supposedly there’s a picture of
obama smoking a joint
yeah but i don’t know if it’s a joint
there’s no way to tell
there’s no way to tell
he’s definitely smoked weed before but
man i don’t
think there’s any way he could be doing it now
first of all
yeah we do need a president that that sees
other ways of looking at things that’s what we need
whether our presidents a yoga master
and does it you know
all naturally or whether our presidents a
stoner or whether our presidents a
a guy likes to go into the jungle and
take iowa skill with the shaman we need someone who has
a leaders way of seeing the world
someone who sees it outside of this
crazy predetermined pattern that we’re on right now
you know i mean i wrote this article about
it’s on my blog
about the large hadron collider and how
crazy it is that like
at a certain point in time science got to this weird
point and i’m not
trashing it in any way because i’m fascinated by
technology i’m just making an observation
that when we first started inventing
things it was to improve the quality of our life
you know we invented
spears that we didn’t have to chase
after the animals and bite them with our
teeth you know we invented
things we never did
houses so we survive under the rain but at a certain
point in time
it got completely
past that and now
even though we have all sorts of
things to deal with with the
human race like poverty and
what’s going on in haiti and liberia
the vice guide to
liberia if you haven’t seen that document god damn
these fucking dudes went to
liberia which is this
crazy nation in africa that has like
rampant cannibalism
like people are constantly killing each
other and eating each
other they’re selling
human meat on the
street this i mean this one dude
talked about he was this warlord they called him
general butt naked
and this fucking
crazy guy would kill
babies from and talks
about it how he
would kill innocent children
from the opposing
tribe or whoever the fuck they were at war with
cut out their
heart and they
would all eat the
heart and would strengthen them to for battle
and make them invulnerable to bullets
he ate a lot of people
i mean this guy talks openly
about eating people
about what you eat if you’re hungry for
hungry you eat like the soft part like the stomach and
the inside of the thigh
cause it’s tender
i mean he’s talking
about like what you eat
what part of a person
he was talking
about we turned this guy in
he was eating
street food like he bought some
chicken skewers or something
and it was human meat and he
could tell because he’s
eaten it so many times
so he explained to the police this guy’s
like serving
human food and you have him arrested
and now the guy’s like a
crazy evangelist
and he like he like preaches and fellows
he’s killed thousands
of people what’s the name of the documentary
the vice guy to liberia
yeah text that or
tweet that a lot of people are asking
jesus christ i gotta
tweak that i mean one of the craziest fucking
things i’ve ever seen
you know what’s
weird is that
obama still struggles with his
cigarette addiction
you know he’s always talking
about that how he just
started back up and
stuff all right i’m
gonna post one of
eight are posted up on twitter right now
there’s you
gotta have to find them
you know if you just
it’s a the site is very clunky device guide site
these guys that put the site together it’s um
they didn’t do such a
great job putting this site together but the
but the footage is incredible
you know i mean what they’re doing is just amazing
the stuff there they’re getting deep into this
like liberia is like
literally like a
scene in a horror movie
like it’s like a lot they went to a
brothel in liberia
and it’s just like saw
i mean it literally is it’s like hostile it’s insane
and it’s real and it’s happening
right now i’m posting it up on twitter right now
this is the
first one this is part one
but it’s you mean it really will change
the apocalypse is here
it just hasn’t hit america
it’s here it’s in
mexico it’s in
liberia it’s in haiti
right now it’s all over the fucking
world there’s a
big crazy shit is happening all over the world
this is not happening in america yet
you look at how
liberia is that’s going to change the way you look at
everything the fact that this could go on today in 2010
and not even have it be like
a subject like that that makes the five o’clock news
you know that it’s
more important to find out you know some new girl the
tiger woods fuck
you know i mean really
there’s people in
liberia that are
eating people on a regular basis
it’s it’s it’s fucking
crazy once you
watch it’s gonna
they show it they show a guy with the
human heart
they show a kid a
young kid talking
about oh that’s
the good meat that’s the good meat the person
talking about eating your enemies
whoa what the fuck man
it’s pretty heavy shit
fuck joe motherfuckers put your home phone on vibrate
all right
oh what happened it went away
i apologize ladies and gentlemen my bad
i was gonna ask you something but i tell you
well you know what you see me
every day motherfucker let’s get some questions from
these folks yeah i know man
well i’ve been trying to ask you questions from
these questions okay
but now forget what i was gonna ask it’s a fine line
ladies and gentlemen between letting the
rant come out letting the ramble
and i want to answer your questions but
every now and then i get
something a rant comes and i think
for entertainment purposes it’s best to roll with it
we talked to stanho
lately i’ve not seen paranormal activity but i want to
i haven’t talked to stanho in a while
last time i talked to him
probably a couple months ago he
was telling me he was gonna come into la we’re
gonna try to schedule a crackle
the show that
never goes anywhere we have to do that soon man
let’s get cracking son seriously the crackle show yeah
not tell people we can’t tell you what it is
to watch the pakistan
gun market on
thing on vice tv no the only thing i’ve seen on vice tv
right now is that liberia thing but that fucking
what those guys are doing is incredible and i’ve heard
all their videos are incredible
vice guy to liberia
and again i posted i just posted it on on twitter
but if you just go to vbs
tv that’s their website and
they have so much different shit there it’s incredible
these guys have
giant cast iron balls
i mean this dude
drove to this fucking town in
liberia that’s like this
shanty town
where there’s no electricity
there’s no there’s piss and shit in the streets
and this dude and the
truck they drove in there people
started yelling give us
money give us some
money like it’s
crazy they could have been hacked
apart alive
i mean literally it’s like a
scene in a goddamn horror movie
mmm
oh my god why the girl says from the video of champion
monkeys cause you need to know
need to know god damn it
i need to know where that hair came from
things my cat’s hair yeah hopefully sneaky bitch
tastes like her hair i’ve had her hair in my mouth
questions
i didn’t put up a website thing here
on the message board usually i do maybe someone could
someone’s ask questions in the message board
get bravo indian drunk on e string
no because this is my house yeah yeah the bravo
does not he’s not allowed to drink in my house
when you have babies it’s the
first thing you want to cut out is
eddie being drunk in your house
forget about
sharp corners and knives
worry about eddie being drunk in your house
chuck the amount of this girl
sleeps in the baby room with her
honey coming over what
i got this honey coming over can
sleep in the crib what dude are you
drunk yeah what’s the big deal
i have a family man
that’s hilarious
bump bump
okay let me
answer a few more questions and we’re gonna
leave soon because we’ve been doing these for two hours
and that’s how we’re gonna keep doing it
in the future what
we’ve got to get all that we got a
bunch of one that we’re
gonna figure out today how to get up on itunes
we record just the
audio portion of it
in news separately
any news on your website
i got a crazy website designer who
knows what he’s doing he’s working on some crazy shit
when it comes out it’s
gonna be dope though so
i’ll leave it for now
but in the meanwhile
brian may build a bridge
he may build a website to bridge us between
this website and the future website
because he’s getting he’s
chomping at the bit
yeah so what’s your
what is your review page is it
what is your is your
myspace is it let’s find jesus
if yeah they’re all on redband com
or if you just want to
check out the
video part of
it because i have a written review and the regular
video review but if you go to youtube backslash
let’s find jesus
okay but then go to redband com redband
com it’s all on there r e d b
a n r e d b
a n com seriously if you ever want
like the best
review of the droid i’ve ever seen is his review he
breaks that shit down i was talking
about this today with customer service like
technology hasn’t
helped us in any way trying to like when you’re on the
phone going no do you like dog
be like boy
you know like there’s nothing that
has been invented
to distinguish
d’s and b’s and
stuff yeah yeah you have to say a beta alpha
p as in penis
right you always use like words
like d as in dick
i do i do this guy was
being really
annoying and i was trying to sign up for my
serious so i kept using
swear words
ass looking shit
diaz and dick
and he was like okay
okay okay it was like
he was annoying me so i was like
i didn’t know he was
annoying me
that’s hilarious
it was just being so unhelpful
like what i was talking to i’m like listen man i’ve
been a customer for a long time
why you being awkward with me so
i was wait holding off for the verizon iphone
since that didn’t come
should i go with the pre or what
should i do yeah verizon
fuck this we thought that we were
gonna get the wednesday announcement
yeah it was
gonna be a new
i’m gonna check a look at the
the pre because like i said i like this for the phone
but it’s it’s pretty much
you know you know the pre also has
it has an option to be a my fire
broadcast verizon
network really so if you get the the
the ipad you
could broadcast verizon
network and then connect it
that’s pretty badass
i like the pre too i like
that it seems to be as responsive as an iphone yeah
it seems to be the only see that
video they opened up 50 applications at once
you can’t do that with this fucking clunky hunter shit
this is like
seriously this is like a dumb
knockoff from a
third world country
storm 2 yeah not even like you ever see those fake
yeah the storm 2s
have you seen
those fake iphones
they make in
other countries that are just clunky yeah yeah yeah
you know that that’s what this is like it’s like
it’s so beyond
it’s so behind
toward to come out yet
not yet it’s like that’s what i want to get february
third i believe that comes out i
might not get that though
if the palm prius because i like the way the palm
things like
this the screen is way nice
i’ve always been a fan of palm it looks like they got
their shit together
did you get your shit together
i hated the last one we had remember we all had trio
700s or whatever
but we thought it was the shit we
had at first then it
started freezing up all the time and we were like
fuck this phone
yeah i think i
might get that
what can we see in your book when
it comes out unfortunately i don’t have any fucking
pictures of when i was younger
not very very very few
but it’s all
about the road
about doing
stand up when i
first started out i just got a bunch of
crazy stories that i thought
would be a good
first book to
write you know
it’s basically just
crazy road gigs like trying to make it as a
stand up comedian you don’t realize like
how strange it is like it’s such a crazy life
and it’s you know
you don’t know what’s
gonna happen you don’t know
where you’re
going it’s the most
it’s the most
unsure way to make a living
to try to be a professional
stand up comedian
pre is not all that can’t open that many apps
why what are you talking
about yeah what are you talking
about there’s a
video plus it’s online just go
watch it the old one you couldn’t open up that many
gaps but the pre plus is much more internal memory they
don’t need to be on top of it
yeah this conversation with
brian rinkel
yeah the pre plus
gonna actually there’s a
video of somebody opening up 50 apps at once and it’s
still playing need for
hey you guys
should put up a contest for people to be on your show
laziest stalker ever
just do it
alex jones an agent
yeah people always want to know that
actually he’s bill hicks and if that’s true
stanhope is in austin
today he should have stopped in to see alex jones
would they get along yeah
they’re friends
then hoping
yeah alex is friends with both of us we all talk
about how crazy is
but but last time
alex jones got on a
stage or something like that yeah that was it was
like a video
yeah alex is crazy
he’s a nice guy though isn’t
he alex oh i love
hanging out with the dude he’s fun to hang out with but
every time i ram with the guy i always feel
bad for him because i feel like i’m like just relax
calm down you know
your turn off
strong he doesn’t turn off
very high strong fella
loves the ufc
whoever is doing mark gaden’s not that funny yeah
must be angry amadeus
did i watch the
state of the
union any thoughts i didn’t watch it did you watch it
what state of the union yeah who cares
you know it’s almost like at this
point in time i thought that
right before obama got
elected you know when you know it looked like he was
gonna win i was like wow this is so crazy
this guy’s gonna win like this really really felt like
things were
gonna change
you know it really felt like wow
maybe voting
is real you know this guy can get an office he’s got a
black guy from a single mom and
you know and the way he says
gonna get everybody
out of afghanistan and get everybody out of iraq and
meanwhile he hasn’t done
anything well he also said when he was running
like this is a long road you know i’m got a lot of my
he never said it was gonna be
quick like even when he was you know he’s said this the
whole time troops to afghanistan
yeah you know
and i don’t i’m not a military
expert but what we have to look at for real
is we have real problems at home
we have real i mean
when you look at the enemy
you look at attacks on america like there’s this big
giant distraction
that the big fear
is things we have to work
about worry about from
other nations from
all over the place
there’s a lot of
crime and violence in america that we got to
worry about
before we worry
about crime
you know a giant
group called the taliban
acting to kill americans
worry about the thousands of people that we kill
every day and
how the fuck do we put a stop to that shit
how do we put a stop to
senseless violent
crime in america and then we
gotta deal with the fact that we’re
right next door to mexico
and mexico is way crazier than iraq
and afghanistan combined
more people get murdered in mexico than anywhere in the
world the war on drugs in mexico there’s
five times more casualties this year
something like that victor dabula
the guy who does the
the spanish version
of my job for the ufc
great guy he was living in war
and he told me it was some
crazy statistic you’ll have to google it
but it was like
five times more people died in
juarez in one year then died in the iraq
court i mean it’s nuts man
they’re just
killing people left and
right down there and the
reason why they’re doing it is because there’s so much
money in selling illegal drugs to the united
states from mexico
i mean it’s incredible
these guys get so goddamn rich and they’re
fighting over so much
that the violence
is insane and they’re killing police officers and
politicians and
they brought over fucking tanks and shit and
they got tanks running through the streets and juarez
i mean this shit is happening
literally into a country that’s connected to us
you can fucking
drive there
it’s not enough to fly
you know halfway across the
world to deal with some conflict was the
enemy is there
the enemy is anybody who’s murdering people
alright anybody who’s
so fucking crazy they’re
killing five times more people than die in a war
i mean it’s
right there that’s a war
there’s a war
that we’re not even involved it’s connected to us
it’s fucking dangerous
they’re getting rich as
shit and they have tanks and
who knows what they’re
gonna get i
mean in mexico you probably buy jets you know
they could probably buy like
fucking us army jets from russia
who the fuck knows
they have billions and billions and billions of adults
mean they’re so rich it’s
scary shit man very scary shit
we’re worried
about what’s
going on in afghanistan
but the problem is there’s
money in afghanistan there’s natural gas there’s money
in iraq there’s oil
controlling
the natural gas pipeline the reason why people
have been trying to get to afghanistan over and over
again for so many years
while the soviets invaded them
they’re trying to get the resources
whenever we fuck with
other countries
we’re trying to get
their resources that’s it
in the future with the electric cars do you
think people are
going to be like blowing up
radio shacks
like protect the
radio shack
batteries never mind haha
i didn’t get that one at all
you didn’t even get it you said it
the cartel is insane yeah it is insane man it’s
it’s scary shit
where do you get this gracie shirt from i got it from
the gracie jiu jitsu website
i’m not exactly sure what the name of it is
what who is that that bitch got cut that is
i don’t know
oh it’s a girl that said they
would beat her up while she was pregnant
who’s steven jackson
like a football player ex girlfriend how that’s why
she bears results being attacked
oh attack at the hands of the nfl star oh shit
let me cut ya damn
you want who knows she might be crazy
the very bit played quick live yes i have
fucking amazing
or la or la or la what does that mean
exactly i don’t know what that means
chinga mexico’s guy says
you know it’s crazy that
we have countries still
i mean it’s crazy that lives like an area
where if you’re born over here you’re fucked
shit out of luck and we don’t let you come to the good
spot it’s not like just one planet that we all live on
we like separate it we
guard the borders
and we have fucking guns and shit and know
you know there’s like a lot of stories
about border patrol
shooting people that are
you know like holding a rock at a hundred
yards hundred you know you can’t hit him with a rock
you know there’s headshot on bang
who’s threatening us you know
like it’s pretty nutty man just because you’re on the
other side of the fence
it’s such an uncompassionate
thing you know the
whole idea of this
these teams you know and not
allow and ever says well
if you let them over they
would just come over and
swarm and they
would fuck up the
whole culture
really would they
are they already here i mean in la
i mean how many illegals are there in la
how much more would it be if it was legal
yeah there’s some
white people
do you think everybody would just come over
if they said okay
now there’s no immigration it’s just one country
united states canada and mexico
everything that’s attached
it’s one country
i think so i think
they would just all come on there
would be nobody in mexico yeah
you could get some badass deals on
houses in mexico then it would all like settle
out over a few generations no shit
you know and people would realize like baja
california it’s
dude the cost of living here is
ridiculous i’ve been looking at
lofts lately now because i was at this
party and this dude owned
a loft it was
amazing i was like oh this is perfect for people that
have a lot of shit
you know like loss it’s just a big room you know like
it should be
cheaper you know
right lots are like
going for like two
three thousand dollars out here for just
it’s amazing how expensive
lofts are yeah it’s
weirder than a
loft no it is
weird though
things are really expensive
you know in cities like new york city
apartments are the nuttiest
things ever
new york city
apartments yeah
that’s retarded
you have to pay like 3 000
bucks for a little tiny place yeah
that’s cool
i mean how do people afford that
i mean that’s
it’s impossible that’s like got
to be like a significant percentage and people go well
you know i don’t have to have a car because i take the
subway everywhere
that’s all well and good but you don’t feel
trapped no you don’t feel
tethered to this machine yeah you really want that
god damn it
damn it the
north american
unionist gentlemen says
pantera 33 yeah that’s what it’s supposed to be
it’s supposed to be a
north american
union is supposed to be this
fucking crazy
how would you describe it new world
order conspiracy that we’re
moving towards one
world government
and sort of how like
in europe they have the euro
that like goes through it one one
money source
that we’re gonna do that with the
amero in america
and you know lou dobbs actually talked
about it on cnn
but you know lou dobbs
might be crazy
obama was really
interesting when he addressed it he addressed it during
his campaign said he sees no evidence for that you know
and it makes you wonder like
how much do you
think they really know and how much do you
think i mean who the fuck does
obama answer
to what happens when you actually get in office a cat
that’s the secret there’s this really
smart cat is it a ginger cat with a golden headdress
and it just sits there
obama you must don’t make me turn you into salt bitch
what do you
think happens when they get
in there i mean do they meet with the heads of these
gigantic corporation that
spends millions of dollars on
their campaign they must
they must you know
i mean that’s one of the
things they said
about bush that
bush met with the heads of all
these different energy companies oil companies
and it’s like common practice that like
it’s common knowledge rather that
policy was dictated
after he had
these meetings like they had worked it out
but that’s what
i mean how does anybody not
expect that if you pay people
millions of
dollars you give them millions of dollars your money
to get them into office once they’re in office
i mean you bribe them
i mean you ride them mm hmm
why would you
else you spend millions of dollars i mean
if you’re you know an oil
company why are you giving politicians all this money
because you
want them to like take it easy on you you want to
be bribing them
it’s nuts i mean it’s
crazy that that’s
legal it’s crazy
the supreme
court recently just stopped the cap on
spending on it
they said that
they’re like
they treated them as an
individual that are corporations like an
individual so
they can spend as much
money on campaigns they want that’s
crazy they’re
gonna have all kinds of nutty ass commercials like that
talking dog commercial that they came up with did it
obama just put a
spending freeze though on
a lot of the
money last week
i thought that was that
whole thing i don’t know he probably
talked about it last
night if we
well you know
he was horrified by it i’m sure he was talking
about it but i
think that’s
also just because people were horrified by it i
think they just got so
greedy and horrific
that they needed
to take a step back they go listen we fucked up this is
like this is like
you know people might
storm the white
house with guns this is getting
crazy like now you know
even people that run the corporations are like really
they’re gonna let us do this this
is is this democracy is this really what the united
states has founded on
you stream this week
doesn’t seem like
it’s been fucking up has it been fucking up at all no
you stream looks fine this week
does anybody have a problem with
we were ready to jump ship you
dirty bitches
maybe it was a
storm camp it
could have been the
storm last week it
could have been
this you know
oh obama did
right after the
budgets got increased by 35
that’s what this guy says
obama did what what was the question
we’re saying that obama
put a cap on the spending
you did after the budget increased by
thirty five percent so they increased it
so they changed it by
thirty five percent and then
he put a cap on it so it made it look like he was doing
anything something to stop it but really they didn’t
so we’re saying
well it seems like
the spending freeze is in
2011 he said
it’s all fucking nuts
and that’s why i don’t follow this stupid
shit it’s either
it’s so complex politics are so complex
that at a certain
point in time you have to
look at your resources
you have to look at your life
and go how much time do i have to deal with this shit
how much time do i have to take care of my children
to pay my bills to manage my
career to go to the gym to hang out with my friends to
play a couple games of pool
how much fucking time do you have in a day
and that’s why
they can just fuck you and keep fucking you
that’s why these
cigarette and
alcohol companies get away with contributing millions
of dollars to a partnership for a drug free america
and then they
make commercials like the one with the talking dog that
you know tells the girl to stop smoking weed
it’s just corruption and it’s blatant and it’s
right in front of our eyes
i mean the the
system is so fucked up
that it’s almost like
someone else has to come in and fix it
it’s almost like we’re like lord of the
flies just a
giant large
scale version of it and we’re just
fucking going crazy
you know we’re
allowing corporations and
these dudes to make
millions and millions of dollars just by fucking us
all this stimulus money
that went to all
these banks that they don’t have to account for
it’s fucking
chaos i mean it
that is a mad grab for cash
where dudes are saying well we
gotta give them
their bonuses we don’t give them
their bonuses they’re
gonna leave
they’re gonna leave
so that’s why they
should get millions of dollars of taxpayers
money while the
whole economy melts in
front of everybody’s eyes
that’s incredible
they’re so bold
that they want
bonuses while
everything’s falling
apart and going
under because they have contracts
and then he said well
we’re gonna lose them
to other corporations like no what
you’re supposed to lose them
your fucking bank failed stupid
holy shit i mean it’s amazing how how just blatant
they are it’s almost like it’s so corrupt
that nothing’s
gonna fix it and i feel like
when i think
about investing
my time and trying to pay attention to it or
god for fucking
bid trying to do something to fix it it’s like
it’s so fucked up
it would take
100 lives of
100 people living 100 lives
just to bring it back to baseline just to
bring it back to
no corruption
you know politics
in america are so fucked up and corrupt
and when i talk to people that that really know
about it like
i know some dudes who run some big businesses
and i’ve talked to them
about politics
about what you know real
what campaigns
and what contributing is really all
about it’s fucking horrifying
it’s horrifying it’s
it should be all illegal
it should be illegal for politicians to talk
while someone else
writes their speeches
totally illegal
there’s no way you
should be a guy reading a goddamn
script written by 20
experts in english and
the right way to phrase things and
great writers who
know how to mimic
some of the responses that people got to historical
speeches well
teddy roosevelt
was in a similar situation this is what he said and
i think we need to address that and the
founding fathers this country
really knew past we need to address that and they
calculated so perfectly to make you interesting
we don’t even know who the fuck obama is
we know that he’s pretty cool calm and collected but
you know until you you see a dude
you know that
until we have
obama doesn’t
write a lot of his own shit though you
gotta give him that
but it’s all
nonsense anyway if he was talking like that in your
house you would
think he’s crazy
what we need to do
as a nation
and as individuals you’d be like
why can’t you just talk to us
why why do they have to talk like that
why can’t they get on
stage and go listen
there’s a certain age
group that’s almost dead
but once they die i
think we’re
gonna be like that i
think so right i
think so too
i think it’s just an
age group that
that if we didn’t do that then people
would be like what the fuck
you know maybe in
thirty years the president is
gonna be like you are you know
you got a good
point yeah i
think you got a good
point i think that’s real possible
i mean that
age groups just
gotta go once they’re gone weeds gonna
be legal everybody
before the internet pre internet oh my god
you know if you didn’t embrace the internet
god you’re just
you’re riding on a buggy man
you’re riding on an animal you know
all that i mean
can’t we have a president that gets on
stage and talks like a normal
human he raps
this is the no
i mean a guy who gets on
stage and goes well here’s our situation
you ever seen that guy
ray kurtz will
explain technological
the singularity
and the exponential increase in technology
the way he explains it is like a regular dude
he’s not talking
about it like
it’s the future god
bless america
he’s not getting all
crazy and dramatic and theatrical
he’s just giving you information
it’s weird that
people feel like they just have to do that like alex
jones even but
it’s a fake
drama i don’t mind real
drama i don’t mind
if the guy’s talking
if i feel like he’s
just and you
could tell that sincerity
and that’s one of
the reasons why they put on that so obvious fake voice
because it masks insincerity
that’s what’s the most offensive
about politician speeches
when if they had a talk
if they had
to go up there and go well what i want to do is
i first of all
i want to end this war i’m trying to figure out how
we’ve got to get out of afghanistan
first thing we’re
gonna do is we’re
gonna set up iraq we’re
gonna get out of there and
if he said it like a guy who was just talking to you
you would be able to see
where the bullshit is
but by masking it in political
speech and that speech
you know that mode
that specific
predetermined
broadcasters and everyone we
stand at a crossroads
and when they talk like that it’s
agreed that it’s
gonna sound like bullshit
and it masks bullshit
i just thought that up too
newscasters
actually tweet that so i remember
because that’s a bit there’s a bit in there somewhere
right yeah well
it’s that’s why they
speak speeches
like that because you would if they were
speaking like a regular person you know they’re full of
shit yeah but what why do the news people and
radio stations
have to do it because they’re trying to get that
paper you know
what if you
watched the news
as i did there was a fire today
check this shit out we filmed this on main
street look at this
building that’s all fucked up
first of all it’s really hard for
people to be themselves on camera it takes a long time
yeah but they
train them to be that way
train them to have that
voice that’s
why the weather person and the traffic person in
every city all
sound the same
on radio yeah
we have to have the certain
down on main
street well it looks like you got
clear sailing on the 405
yeah they have a certain way of doing it because that’s
you know it’s sort of like
strip club djs too it’s like
yeah they’re nervous
so they fall into
this pattern because it makes them more comfortable
some stand up comedian
sound like that too
you know some
stand up comedians
like you can tell like they’re trying to
sound like a
comic like there’s a big
thing in the 80s
there was a
bunch of guys who
weren’t saying jack shit
but they were saying it like comics
and they would get
laughs there’s a few guys on
the names but
the 80s was real easy for shitty comedy
a lot of guys like
slipped through because there was so much comedy
going on they
never learned
how to talk as themselves they were always like the
wacky comedy voice guy
four twenty oh it’s already gone four times
is it four twenty third time
you guys ever talk
about michael leonhart appointed the
head of the dea
no i don’t know you know what it’s like
it’s the same
thing as like open up the doors to mexico
it’s like i
don’t know the solution and the problem with the dea is
really yeah
they shouldn’t be busting people for pot pot
should be legal but
there are some drugs that are fucking terrible for you
you know there’s real drugs are terrible for you
and a lot of them are sold by fucking pharmacies
alright how
about oxycontin you got real problems
what’s that
thing we were talking
about earlier the
oxycontin express
but these dea
guys and all this
they have families they have jobs you
know and this is what they’re doing and
a lot of them signed up to do the right
thing to try to protect communities
and then they get involved in it and i think
that’s when
things get squirrely and
you do realize that yeah it is kind of fucking
silly that i
could tell a guy can’t do this and i’m
gonna lock him in a cage and you
think you’re doing okay because
you’re just doing your job
well if they make pot
legal that’s 50
of the fucking people are in prison
for non violent drug
offenses do you just immediately cancel out all their
other their
their cases
and let them out or do you say no
you live in the dark ages so you’re fucked
you know you
lived in the ages when it was
illegal i mean you’d have to let everybody out of jail
you’d have to let like half the people out of jail
what that’s crazy
they’re all fucked
up now they’ve been in jail and they’re all hardened
and been there for five years they’re fucking angry
unless you’re
gonna pay them
how you gonna let him out of jail you
gonna give him millions of dollars
they gonna all sue okay
so now you got
millions of
people who want millions of dollars you don’t
think the economy is fucked now
let people that make pot illegal or make pot
legal let people out of jail
make the dea
close down because you’re not
gonna go after drugs
fuck it’s it’s like
the the web we have already woven
is so polluted
it’s so hard to
to extradite
yourself from it that’s
right where i was trying to be smart
evacuation of the yeah you know i’m saying
trying to be
immaculate with my
structure of my
linguistics
you’re doing a fake
speech thing
yeah i was doing a fake
speech thing
what’s the sickest thing you’ve ever seen
you brother
i don’t know what does that mean what’s the sickest
thing i’ve ever seen i’ve seen some
sick sick things have you been to the ronald reagan
museum here in california um
no i haven’t you
should go pretty crazy get
really baked and go see pretty
crazy that people like when i was a kid ronald reagan
was a hated man when he
yeah because people have convenient memories
when i was a kid amongst anybody who’s intelligent
i lived in boston which is a fairly
liberal very intelligent town very
high amount of colleges per capita
people are pretty goddamn smart in boston and
growing up there they
hated ronald reagan when all that iran contra shit was
going on and they made reagan testify
about selling all of her
new york i can’t recall
you know when insult
the arms to iran
i can’t recall i don’t recall you don’t recruit
what the fuck are you talking
about you can’t just sit up there
and say i don’t remember that means you did you fuck
you fucking criminal that guy’s a criminal
i mean that guy was a
you’re old tell him you don’t remember i can’t recall
that’s crazy
there’s a dude
named jimmy
tingle was a hilarious boston comedian
who had a great joke about that
he goes if you
here’s a tip mr reagan
if you sell arms
to people who hate us
shot it down
he goes make a little note
put on your refrigerator
today i sold arms to people who hate us
and on that note you fucking filthy savages
i think we’re
gonna end this because
we don’t want to overstay our welcome
for your four thousand the perfect four thousand
and one viewers listeners
you guys super cool
thank you very much for tuning in
we will continue this
every week this is i believe five weeks in a row
and you can always
get them you can always download them off this you
stream channel and we are
going to look into
today how to
how the fuck we get
everything on itunes
and then eventually what i
would like to do is i
would like to do two of
these a week
maybe one video
and we’ll do that and put it
might do one just straight audio
i’m thinking two we
could be better than one i want to do it like a regular
thing and have
it so that you can rss it and subscribe to it and
get it automatically
downloaded to your itunes and all that jazz fuck flash
so that’s what we’re doing
dog you brian
okay it’s not
worth it he knows what he’s doing
use flash brian you scumbag
well things are getting
crazy all right
thank you very much you guys we really
appreciate it and we’ll see you next week
later yo later
oh yeah i’m doing this right
you should start showing some business
we’re still here
the people are still here
ladies and gentlemen we will now broadcast only in
audio this is the
secret session that nobody told anybody about
but because you decided to stick around
and keep your fucking you stream open
you’re here
ladies and gentlemen
we’re gonna keep this bumpin’ let’s fuck
brian and i are gonna we’re gonna fuck my cat we’re
gonna talk for another
another 20 minutes folks why
cause this is a goddamn experiment
i wanna see how many people stay on
i wanna people see how many people
listen to us
with just a
just a backbeat
and brian making cat noises we’re down to three o nine
folks it’s not looking so good we’re losing viewers
i think we do our best work in the
post anyway you know people don’t have to watch it live
be honest we’re
not answering that many goddamn questions okay
questions are coming in like a
waterfall and
we’re trying
to keep up but what’s the most important is that
we give you
the flow you know i’m saying we give you the
rant we talk to you we communicate with our people
what’s going on
i’m committed to you
my friend adam crawl
we are committed
how high are we
jesus in space
i’m as high
as paul abdul is on the ride home from the pharmacy
all right you guys
until here we got 303 bitches we lost
you know we lost people with itchy trigger fingers
it’s like when you go to the police
and sometimes you go to the movies and
these don’t sit through the credits but there’s some
funny shit in the
credits like bachelor
the bachelor or the bachelor party
that’s it just called back faster
bachelor party that fucking are the
movie xylophone actors
movie oh no no there was a hangover
hangover the hangover you’re talking 1970s
jesus i don’t even
know what i’m talking about i was it was
about a bachelor
party the hangover my apologies put that galvanakis
movie the fucking
the end credits are some of the funniest shit
i mean it’s really really hilarious hilarious stuff
so that’s what this is this is the end credits 305
306 we’re gaining
ladies and gentlemen
spread the word
let bitches know there’s no visual
but there is a funky techno beat
and they are still talking
this guy says i’m on here twenty four
seven i don’t sleep wow
ernie ms ernie
ernie ernie m
slander you wild man
pet my cat for me listen
i’ll pet my
cat when i want to pet my cat you fucking weirdo
pet my cat for you i pet my cat for her okay
you like our
funky beat yeah you like that
music yeah i like that too man
this guy says i like
radio better than video personally imagination i
agree with you i think there is something
about that i like listening to the radio too man i love
satellite radio for that very reason you know
satellite radio is the shit but
this is basically satellite
radio for everybody you don’t even have to pay for it
you know i mean i think
satellite radio is awesome and i have
in my car i have serious with the best of xm
so i can get howard
stern and i get open anthony and i get bubba love
sponge and i can get you know
ron and fez and i can get
potus politics
i can get anything it’s fucking awesome i love it
so because of that
you know i think i think
what this is though what this is is even more exciting
because this is like
radio than anybody can do i mean
brian and i are just sitting here in my living room
and we got this fucking
microphone that we bought at the mac
store and this is connected to
our laptops i mean so goddamn easy we don’t have a crew
and you know i mean if we were
charging you guys a lot of
money and we
wanted to have some sort of
production value to this
thing yeah i can
understand that but
does that make it any better when you
watch the tonight show
do you really give a fuck
that there’s
a room full of people there and everybody’s
cheering and
do you really
give a fuck that there’s a band there playing wack ass
music at the
intros and outros i mean
what i like
about like if i
watch letterman
i like letterman interacting with people he’s
funny he’s a fucking
funny guy that’s what i like
he could be doing that in his
house and it
would be just as interesting
what are you doing you showing people
pictures of shit
you going to duncan trussells from facebook page
yes tonight this thursday comedy is dead tonight
a lot of good comics
date with the wife
i had a good comics take her to it
oh no look at these look at this line
i don’t want to poison my my future baby with
oh that is a good lineup
damn doug benson
dana ghoul chris hardwick nick no nick kroll
guy branam duncan trussell and natasha legro
that’s a good guy that went up yeah
duncan puts on a
good show that’s that one that he does from the funeral
it’s the hollywoods forever
cemetery tonight that’s nutty
we’re promo
and people man you know
like you know i’m saying like we got allegiance
to our friends but i can’t
here’s your two
dollars you guys are fagging out now that there’s no
video right
listen fella
just because
you have to use your imagination to masturbate to the
sound of my
voice now and you can’t see our pretty faces
doesn’t mean we’re fagging out because there’s no
video we’re
experimenting my friend how
weird is that
you guys are fagging out now
oh are you meaning that we’re fagging out like like
brian sucking my cock
right now when he
no that’s not what’s
going on at all
i’ll let you see a little
video real quick as long as you
promise to stop being mean
you promise no
stop being mean i’ll let you see a little more video
fuck you this is
radio bitch
this is the you
stream radio
portion of the program we’re down to
three hundred viewers
ladies and gentlemen
a lot of people don’t like the
whole imagination
thing maybe
not down with it
like listen
stupid i wanna see you
let’s get out of here
this guy says it was a joke joe i know it
was a joke i was joking back my friend andrew lawrence
i’m just being
silly i know
that’s the problem man you know you know
you don’t know me you listen to me talk shit i meant
avatar is horrible
how dare you
how dare you
irish temper 69
first of all
anybody that has a 69
in their name i
automatically have to think
about your opinion and go
one of two why are
those cocksucking
i’m looking at blowjobs there’s nothing
wrong with that don’t
do that in front
of me my dick will get hard then this turn to gay off
um listen man
unless you’re
twelve years old
don’t have sixty nine
at the end of your name
and if you are
twelve years old and
sixty nine at the end of your name
who touched you
who did that to you
huh or do you just trying to be
silly you just trying to be silly
irish temper i got an
irish temper
and i love my dick suck
white complete
all right it turns off
i won’t be happy unless you call me
aaron instead of ernie
my apologies
i did not mean that
aaron oh aaron
nem slander that’s what it is i’m sorry
it’s a chick
ladies and gentlemen
women are very sensitive they have to be they
raise babies
okay you don’t realize that
until you have
a few like oh now i know why they’re like that
because i’m not milking any fucking baby
you know i’m saying
you need the softer
personality
brian and brian i
understand you’re
trying to have a baby is this true yes
i’m joining a pregnancy pack
where me and my
guy friends were all getting together and there’s this
place in pennsylvania with these
girls that all want to have babies
in high school
put that away what
no i don’t want to
watch this chick get a
fucking foot job turn that off you know like foot jobs
this is my house okay
fucking freak i brought to
do this totally
completely desensitized by the internet
sitting here
hanging out
and he just puts on some
video of a chick jerking a guy off with her feet
like really
that’s okay
you know you don’t even
think twice
you like was
there any kids in the room no fuck it it’s porn
you just have that running in the
background all the time
while you’re working no
is that porn
i was just gonna show it to
you because like who likes that shit some people must
some people must be so desensitized they must have porn
going while they’re working like
spreadsheet
right next to it
cock sucking is that ass for a
second a second
yeah you saw us for a
second bitch
you know we’re not sucking cock now
right so you cut it with a gay jokes man
it’s really not
right down to
295 loyal listeners
ladies and gentlemen
two ninety five we’re
clearing this room
back to two ninety six coming on strong
it’s coming back i’m not even tweeting this
we were trying to get eddie for the show for
today yes my friend andrew lawrence
but eddie is in a plane right now on the way to japan
chemtrails all the way
chemtrails like a motherfucker our buddy
shigeki is fighting in king of the cage okinawa
so they have to fly over there to
to see the fights
is it awkward looking into goldie’s eyes
no goldie is my boy
goldie is my boy he’s a good man
goldie is a good man
it’s that’s one of the cool things
about doing the
ufc he was mike goldberg was telling
me that he had a gig once upon a time that was a
dream gig it was an awesome gig but
he hated his partner did not
like the guy said the guy was a dick and goldie’s one
of the nicest guys i’ve ever met he’s such a nice guy
mike goldberg and
is i mean you know
people say fucks up a lot like the fucking guys done
a hundred and
twenty fucking
ufcs all right is
gonna be fuck ups you’re
gonna be able to like go back and you know and youtube
it and make a nice clip of him fucking up for sure but
who cares he’s a nice
fucking guy he does the job he gets in there he knows
he knows the fuck is
going on he makes it happen and he’s a cool dude
i like him he’s a
super friendly guy
so it helps me
working with a nice guy like that
it’s like i look forward to seeing them
podcast is the new
radio i think it is man
i really do i
think that this is the future i think
you know i think that what
the only thing that’s
from from regular
radio is you
don’t have this in your car yet and that’s coming
it’s they’ve already come up with interdict capable
car car stereos
and you’re gonna be able to download
podcasts directly to it and a lot of people they have
setups in their car
where they have
an ipod and they
just they download people’s podcast on
their ipod then they set up where they
broadcast the ipod through their
car stereo speaker
a lot of you have that
right i sit in my car and it
automatically connects to my iphone and then i have my
whole itunes on my iphone
play through my sync on ford
see that’s what i’m talking
about that’s the goddamn future
and it’s gonna be just like a dvr
so you know
how you get you know your tv shows i mean how
often do you
watch tv shows when they air only if you’re home
and you’re looking forward to it like it lost or
something like that and you sit through the commercials
but it’s way better to not
do that it’s way better to do it whenever you want it
and to be able to control it and fast forward it
and if you could download this as an
mp3 that’s the shit you’re in the car
and you’re like all
these dumb motherfuckers are talking about mma
again let’s
fast forward five minutes see what he’s talking about
know i mean you can do whatever you want
with it it’s yours you got it you can you control what
you want to
pause it you can do that you don’t
miss anything you want to rewind it you can do that
how many times
have you been listening to someone talking the
radio and they say some cool
but you don’t
know what the fuck they said you’re trying to
write it down you know
everything in your car you’re in traffic
how cool would it be to rewind the
radio well you can with this this is way superior
to just broadcasting shit
plus there’s not signals in the air that kill the bees
cassette tapes
for life yeah cassettes
yo all right
ladies and gentlemen um
i think that’s
about it yeah i
think we end this because
brian’s tired and it’s already four forty
so this is two
hours and forty minutes
ladies and gentlemen
so we gave you an extra
10 minutes of actual fake
radio silence
with bubbles
and the whole deal
you know i’m saying
all right do
i get any inspiration let me answer this though
did you get a lot of
inspiration from this from your interact with tom green
yet we’re at this
thing is moving so fastly
and his stuff this is foons
foons and spork
shit it’s moving so fast
it’s hard to follow a chat
yes definitely
what we did i did tom
green show once and it’s fucking awesome he’s got this
cool ass house
where his whole
house is basically like
he turned into a studio
he’s got this
killer setup where he’s got like servers in his house
i mean his house is really like the center of it all
it’s like we’re
using you stream and you stream obviously has you know
some servers set up somewhere but we’re
just kind of connected to them and broadcasting to you
tom green’s got that shit all out of his
house which is
really kind of a
crazy expensive way to do it yeah
well it made
sense before all
these websites like your
stream came around
now it’s kind of like well
you don’t have to do
it what is he doing how’s tom ray
show doing are people still
watching it
i think it’s pay per
view now or something like that
i think it’s the pay per
view is the footage the archives
and i think it’s hard to figure out how to make
money with this
stuff you know that’s what it is with
these guys like tom green
trying to figure out how to make
money with it you know i
think it’s kind of
tricky he’s doing comedy now
he’s doing like
stand up comedy tours
so yeah we got a lot of inspiration from all the
stuff there’s a lot of cool shit on the internet
you know the internet is
where i spend a lot of my time to where brian
spends a lot of his time
and we think that this is the future
i mean i just got a
thing for my car
yesterday i got a new car yesterday i got an m
three bmw m three it’s the shit
and i got a
thing where i can hook up my ipod to it it’s awesome
so my playlist shows up
on the on screen the screen
and i could
scroll through it and
pick songs i want it’s so much better than the radio
it’s awesome you know it’s just
you can control i mean you can have
so much shit
there’s so many interesting
things you download
books on tape there’s so much shit that you can
throw out an ipod
you know instead of like
scanning through the
radio it’s like i mean you don’t even get a
guide it’s like
it’s like watching the tv by just
flipping the channels
you know you kind of know what’s
gonna be on
cause you memorized it
do you have all
these like gay
apples in there
thanks later alright
ladies and gentlemen
thank you very
much and we will see you next week next week we’re
gonna try to do it on wednesday
and like i said we’re
gonna have this shit up on
itunes soon and
thank you very much
thanks jihad