Video

Transcript

- Hey, did you call an Uber?

• [Pink Bikini Girl] I did.

• America!

• I bet you can’t get a tank in your country!

• Communism is a flawed system!

• Man, I love America.

It’s so great.

Oh geez.

Why are there so many weirdos here?

Geez.

Nevermind.

I hate America.

Ready!

Are you ready?

Three!

Two!

One!

Go!

♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ Coming again to save the mother day, yeah ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ yeah ♪

• Honk your horn if you love freedom!

♪ Terrorists, your king is through ♪

♪ ‘Cause now you have to answer to ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ So lick my butt and suck on my balls ♪

♪ America ♪

• Don’t pull us over,

don’t pull us over, don’t pull us over,

don’t pull us over, don’t pull us over.

We didn’t get pulled over!

Woo!

Hey Jake!

How ya doin’?

• Okay!

• He did a dab!

♪ God shed his grace on thee ♪

♪ And crown thy good ♪

♪ With brotherhood ♪

♪ From sea to shining sea ♪

• If you don’t live in America,

you’re missing out!

• We love you!

Subscribe, guys!

• Listen to her.

Subscribe!

Nice flag you got there.

• Thanks, man.

• If that flag was the size of your penis,

it’d be a lot smaller.

• It would be!

My family watches these videos!

• I’d like to formally apologize to

Chris’ family about talking about

the dick so much in front of you guys.

I’m sorry.

• It’s okay.

They enjoy it.

• Okay.

• More police?

Aw, fuck.

There’s a cop right there.

• If you’re not moving, you can be on the car.

• Do you mind, Jake?

I’m trying to Uber people.

• Go ahead, dude.

• If I could change one thing about history,

I’d make tanks quieter so people

can hear when their Uber arrives.

It’s really annoying.

We found someone who wants to be Ubered.

Where’s your destination so we know

where to tell the driver to go?

Go to the closest market.

• Hey.

He’s stealing our YouTube video.

All right, Chris, come on!

We gotta escort our Uber.

• I think we’re gonna make good money on this one!

Bump for profit!

• What do you think so far?

• It’s pretty sweet!

• Quit filming my Uber!

Creep!

• Next time,

we can Uber you in like an aircraft plane.

• I think Uber should pick up on this idea.

• We’re gonna need you

to rate us five stars real quick.

We’ve had some people say that the ride’s bumpy.

• I’ll definitely recommend you guys,

especially the drunker I get,

I’d be a lot more wanting to jump in a tank.

• So would you rather be Ubered in a tank

or a normal car?

• Definitely a tank.

• Tank?

• Yeah.

• Hell yeah.

Great investment.

• Five stars, yup.

• Bye Jay!

He must’ve got another Uber.

• I guess so.

• Why’d you wanna get dropped off here?

It looks boring.

• I like the bulk mail.

• The scenery, like that wall right there?

All right, Chris, let’s go catch up with our tank.

• Let’s go.

• Chris, Garrett,

Ubering all of those people made it dirty.

We gotta do a car wash.

• I’m a little dirty too.

• It’s a fact.

A clean tank gets more Uber rides, okay, boys?

We need this thing spick and speck

so we can get more Uber rides because

this business is still not profitable.

First up, we gotta wash Garrett.

He’s been a little smelly.

• I still don’t feel clean!

• He needs to be a clean boy!

We just have to clean you, Garrett.

• Great.

• Everyone comment down bellow stop Garrett abuse.

Abusing Garrett isn’t funny.

All right.

Let’s head to fast food.

Hey!

Can I have a $5 fill-up?

• It’ll be $5.35.

• Okay.

Oh God!

• Hey.

Here you go, man.

Sorry.

It’s my only car.

Thank you.

• Here you go, bud.

• You have a good day.

Can I have one ice cream cone?

• Thank you!

• Wearing tanks and driving tanks.

Hello.

• Thank you.

• You’re welcome.

• Hey, how’s it going?

• What can I get for you today?

• Can I get two soft tacos

and then two Baja Blasts?

It’s gonna be it.

Hello.

• How you doin'?

• Doing good.

We’re just getting Taco Bell with our tank.

• That’s awesome.

• Oh, okay.

• Thank you.

• Bye!

• Y’all have a good one.

• You do sales?

• Yeah.

• What could you give us for the tank?

• $1950.

• I wouldn’t be interested.

• You’re not interested?

Look at all that freedom over there.

• Oh, it’s nice.

• Well, we’re trying to see what

we could get for it if we wanted to trade it in.

Aye!

• Aye!

• Aye!

• They’re exercising their freedom to stalk us!

• I love America!

• Okay, then you can keep following us.

• What’s your YouTube channel?

• Mr. Beast!

• Mr. Beast?

• Yeah.

Tell Jake you love him.

He’s a little insecure about the tank.

• Jake!

I love you!

• You have fans, Jake!

I spotted a spy.

• Hey, look, that person’s filming us.

• I’m filming her. America!

Woo!

Yeah!

Hey Garrett, have you ever been to bofa?

• What?

• Bofa?

Have you ever been there?

• What’s bofa?

• Bofa these nuts!

• What?

• Mr. Beast!

• No way!

• What’s up?

• Tell people to subscribe!

• I’m desperate.

• subscribe to Mr. Beast!

• Hell yeah.

• Is this four-wheel drive?

• Oh yeah.

• Is this a tank?

• We’re storming the beaches!

♪ America ♪

We got stuck.

Crap!

Man, it really annoys me how my tank

gets stuck on the beach.

• What’d you it stuck for?

• He was driving it!

• It’s just like banging on the sand.

• I don’t know.

Our freaking vehicle’s getting

pulled out by his freedom vehicle right now.

• It probably overheated.

• Oh no!

• It’s overheated?

• It’s overheated.

• What do you mean overheated?

• But these colors don’t run.

I guess they don’t run at all now.

• What happens if you’re

fighting a war and your tank’s just like

?

• You just sit here and shoot.

You’re still protected.

• Hey, did you call an Uber?

• [Pink Bikini Girl] I did.

• Well, our tank isn’t working.

• So I’m sorry.

• It doesn’t work.

• What?

Oh no.

• Person we’ve never met before,

definitely aren’t paying to stand there, I’m sorry,

but we can’t Uber you ‘cause our tank doesn’t work.

• I’m here with the girls.

• With the girls.

• I literally told you my tank doesn’t work.

How do you expect me to Uber you?

• Well you better find a way. I don’t know.

Well, here we go.

• I think it’ll work.

• We’re at your destination.

• Okay.

Perfect.

• This is where your destination is.

• Please rate us five stars.

• So I’m getting off?

• Yeah.

• Yeah.

• We need money.

Our tank’s broken.

You can tip us a lot.

• All right.

• We expect a five star rating.

• [Pink Bikini Girl] Thanks for the ride.

• You’re welcome.

• You’re welcome.

• Thanks for the thumbnail, I mean,

that we didn’t stage.

• That’s gonna get so many views.

• Oh yeah.

• They ask you how you are

and you just have to say that you’re fine

when you’re not really fine and you just can’t get into-

• Where’s the barrel?

Someone point it at me.

♪ Mister Beast ♪

♪ Mister Beast ♪

♪ Mister Beast ♪

♪ Mister Beast ♪