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Transcript

- What can I get you?

• Can I buy an ice cream?

• We don’t have ice cream, but I have a leaf blower.

• Thanks, man.

• There you go.

Mr. Ice Cream Man here, except I don’t have ice cream.

I just have a lot of money

and yeah, we’ll make it work.

• How’s it going? You want some Kona ice?

First one’s free.

• There you go, there’s that one.

• Thank you so much.

• Which one of these pictures

is Jesus?

• Yeah, definitely.

• Yeah.

• All right,

That’s just a quick poll.

And which one would you rather?

• What?

• I guess that one.

• Which one?

• That one.

• All right, keep that.

Thanks for doing the survey.

• What?

• For doing the survey.

• Really?

• Yeah.

• Thank you.

• Which one of these has better memes?

• This one.

• The duck?

• Yeah.

• That’s a factual statement.

• I’m sorry, Grandyman.

I didn’t mean it.

• Thank you so much.

Thank you. Y’all have a good one.

• The ice cream machine’s not working,

but you can have a leaf blower if you want.

• No way.

• You don’t have ice.

• What makes you think we got ice

at this truck.

• I don’t know.

• There’s one. That took me a lot of work.

This is the first time I’ve actually gotten it right,

so please take this.

• Can you answer this?

Which one of these is a better person?

• Definitely not him.

• Correct answer.

You get $100 too.

• Nah-uh!

• What in the heck?

Would you recommend everyone watching this

buy this shirt right now?

• Yeah, buy it right now.

• Buy it.

• And the sweatshirt.

• Leaf blower, money, cones,

I think we hit all our spots.

• I think you guys hit everything.

• Thank you.

• Thanks, guys.

You just made our day.

• Which is your favorite?

• Him.

He takes .

• That’s the right answer.

• The answer is neither.

What are you?

Are you not a B skin collar?

• Hey, I’m gonna go over

to give ’em 100 bucks.

Sorry, here’s $100.

• What?

• We got you all tied up in traffic here.

Take 100 bucks and also this empty cup.

• I like that.

• We impeded traffic.

• Hell yeah. Yeah.

• And then I’ll get you your change.

• Here’s another one.

• Here’s your change.

• Oh, awesome.

• There’s your change too.

• Oh, lit. Really?

• Are you like for real?

• Here’s another one.

• Wow! I’m literally covered in ice.

• You have to buy a new shirt.

That’s another $100.

That’s a designer shirt.

• You gotta be kidding me.

• What’s our profit for the day?

• Well, it had a quarter.

• You gotta spend money to make money though, honestly.

• Yeah, they say a business doesn’t reach profit

until three years.

So we got three years to worry about that, man.

• Just have fun right now, dude.

• I only took like four bites.

• We’re desperate to make profit.

• You want that one?

• Sure.

• Let’s go.

• What’s happening right now?

• This is how it works,

you give her that and we make more money, right?

• Yeah, so we’re gonna pull profit.

• So 100 bucks.

• Wait, here’s another one.

• Oh, thank you.

• We’re trying to figure out why we’re not making any money.

• We’ve got negative three weeks in a row.

• Yeah, I don’t think we’re giving him away enough.

• All right, on three. One, two, three.

• How are you doing?

• Hey, how’s it going?

Do you want some ice cream?

• There you go.

• Thank you.

• Yep.

• That’s actually $100.

• I see. I see.

It looks very legitimate.

• Ice cream.

• So, what’s up bro?

• What’s going on?

• Not much. This stuff is pretty good.

• Definitely Snickers, all day.

• I’m gonna get you a Snickers.

Can I get one snicker?

• Come on, Matt.

What are you doing?

• Honestly, I’m tired of waiting.

Here’s $100, just give it to the man.

I’m tired of waiting. you guys.

• [Customer Yellow Shirt] $100. Whoa, dude.

• Dude, I wish I had that kind of money.

• He took the last Snickers,

even though you saw we had another one in there

so here’s 100 bucks.

• No way.
• There you go.

You got 100 bucks.

101.

• 101. No way.

• You still want that Snickers though.

• Wow.

• Hey, you want some ice cream?

• You guys want free ice cream.

It’s free.

• You making the poor life decision.

• I’m lactose.

• Geez, that sucks.

• I’m sorry for cursing in front of you.

• Get him outta here. Seriously, dude.

• Come on, get some free ice cream.

• Oh, like 100 bucks.

• Yeah.

• Thank you, guys.

Thank you.

• Oh my God.

• You want a spoon?

• Yes. I want a spoon.

• You wanna put some in there?

Can I have a towel?

• Oh yeah!

• All right, that’s for you right there.

Yeah, no. I mean, eat it. Eat it, it’s really good.

Ice, but here you go.

Who’s your favorite YouTuber?

Call him MrBeast.

• MrBeast.

• Oh, alright.

• Look at that. Look at that.

• I’m so poor I can’t even afford a haircut. Now I can.

• Yeah, get a haircut, man.

We only take cash right now?

• I got Venmo though.

• Well, I mean honor system.

• Use this to pay for it.

All right, there we go.

Good enough.

• Yeah, get ’em his change.

• Here’s your change.

Here you go.

• Oh my god.

• Looks like we’re hitting the body shop tonight.

• Oh yeah, there it is.

And all your flavors are right down there.

• Wait, here’s some more money for you, man.

• Oh, geez.

• You might drip all over your shoes.

So you can buy some more shoes.

Here you go, man.

• What the hell?

• You can keep the tape.

• Dude, you lucked out.

The tape’s worth like a lot.

• Yeah, just wrap it around him.

• Jesus Christ.

• Here you go, man.

• Boys, I don’t know how to

go about handling all that.

• Do you live nearby

so that you can take all this stuff.

• Appreciate it.

• Hey, we’ve got a long line,

can you just, you know.

• Yeah, look at all our customers right here.

Oh, do you want some ice cream?

• Oh yeah.

• All right, let’s get some.

You want everything?

You’re about to get everything.

• Here you go, man.

Here’s a Snicker ice combo.

• You got a quarter.

We’ll just take a quarter

if you got one.

• I got a quarter.

• Yeah, get him his change.

• That should be accurate, 300 bucks.

We only have two, sorry.

• Is there ice cream?

• Ah, something like that.

• Can I get some?

• Oh yeah!

• Ice cream, here you go, buddy.

• No way, what’s good?

• Which one is a better human being?

• I was gonna just say, automatically,

I was gonna say, “Fuck that guy.”

• Oh!

He was promised free ice cream by me.

• Freaking ice cream,

what are you talking about?

• We got pizzas here, man.

• We got pizza.

What do you want, chicken or pizza? Come on!

• You can have that.

• Candy bars, they’re pretty good.

• Yeah. Oh, he stole it!

• That’s a lot of ones. Here you go.

• Are you kidding?

• No.

• What the heck?

• Can I have an ice cream, though.

• Yeah, I’ll get you one.

• Yeah!

• Y’all actually have ice cream?

• You can have the whole box.

• The whole box?

• I have never lost

rock, paper, scissors, ever.

• Paper, scissor, shoot.

Oh!

• He earned it.

• We’re hitting the club tonight.

We’re hitting the club tonight.

• They helped us with our thumbnails.

So here you go.

Here’s that. This is how we reward our helpers.

• Thank you.

We’re gonna give him extra money to prove it.

Where is that section?

• Wait! .

• Help us get views. We help you.

• I feel like I know you.

Wait, wait.

• There you go.

• So when we rented that ice cream truck,

we got a driver and he’s been a really good sport.

He’s been following us around all day.

He’s been really helpful.

And Ben, I really appreciate you being a good sport, man.

So we got some money right here.

We’re just gonna tip him real quick.

And Ben, I appreciate you helping us.

Oh, hey there. We appreciate you helping us out.

It was a lot of fun, man.

• Thank you, man.

• Here you go.

• Appreciate it.

• Everyone comment, “Ben is a really great guy.”

• Ben is a really great guy.

It’s Ben, good.

All right, watch out, dude.

Be careful with that.

• Ah, I got in a fender bender.

• Ah, are you right?

• Don’t mind us, we’re recording for our TV show.

Do you want to be on Q-News?

• What is that?

• Today, we’re flipping a quarter,

if you guess what it lands on, you win lots of money.

All right, this one’s for $200.

You guess right, you win 200 bucks.

• Are you guys messing with me?

• No.

• What’d you say, tails or heads?

• Heads.

• Oh!

• She got it right.

• Got it.

• No, fucking way.

You’re messing with me.

• I can do double or nothing.

• So if you win now, you would get $400.

Or if you lose, you get nothing.

• What if I don’t get it right?

• It’s a 50, 50 chance, Madison.

• You wanna do this.

You wanna do this.

• You wanna do this.

• Double.

• Heads or tails?

• Heads.

• Oh, 400.

• It’s 400. You can do doubling nothing again.

• You want $800?

800 bucks, Madison.

• I don’t think I’ll get it right.

• Madison, it’s 50, 50.

• I think we all believe you.

• Is this real?

• Yeah.

• Real.

• Yeah, really?

• Hey man, can we bother you for one second?

I’m gonna roll this die,

you’re gonna guess even our odds.

If you guess right, you win $200.

He said odd.

• Shake it up real nice for him.

• Oh. All right, well, you have-

• There’s a consolation prize right here.

• Yeah, we don’t want people leave empty handed.

• Wait, really?

• Yeah, really.

Never seen iDubs before, man.

• I think so. I don’t know.

• I content caught people, last one was .

• Yes, that’s it.

• Yeah, yeah.

Enjoy the money, man.

We’re gonna go harass someone else.

We’re called Jack Septiceye.

• Yeah, yeah.

• Anyways. Cartoon Network.

So what’d you guess?

• Heads.

• She guessed heads.

• All right, let’s see.

• Ooh! There’s a constellation prize there.

• We’re just gonna give you one of these.

• Oh my god!

• But, now it’s her turn.

• Your turn.

• For the camera.

What are you guessing?

Guess?

• There we go.

• Oh, I’m Gabby and I’m guessing tails.

• Tails never fails unless it does.

Here we go. All right.

• Oh tails, you got 200.

• You can take the 200

or do double or nothing for 400.

• I mean, it’s a 50, 50 chance.

• I’m gonna go with tails again.

• Here we go.

I think it’s heads.

Oh, it’s tail.

• Oh, did she get it right?

• She got it right.

• Now, we just need you to give us a

top of the morning to, laddies.

• Top of the morning to you, laddies.

• There it is.

• Ah!

• It was tails, dude!

• We don’t want anyone to leave sad,

so he was 100 bucks, man.

• Yeah, dude.

• Thank you.

• Guess heads or tails.

• Oh, heads.

• Oh!

• Oh!

• All right, what’s your name?

• Jack.

• Jack, all right,

even or odds?

This is a die, normal die.

• Even.
• Even.

All right, he said, even.

• Yay!
• $200,

you can do double or nothing.

Take the 200.

• I don’t know.

• Even or odds.

• Odds.

• All right, he said odds.

• Ah!

• It was even-

• Ah, come on.

• I’m Grant.

• Grant. Grant, needs some money, right?

• I need some money.

• $200 right here.

Pick even or odd.

He said, even.

• All right, let’s go.

Aye!

• You know you can do double or nothing for $400.

• Nah.

• Die or a quarter.

• Die.

• All right, even or odd.

• Even.

• He said even, boys.

Oh, there it is.

All right, do you wanna do double or nothing?

• I’ll double it.

• Even or odds.

• Let’s go with even again.

• So he said even again, $400.

There it is. Lucky man.

Here you go, man.

Tell them to like the video.

• Oh yeah, like the video.

• Yep, there we go.

• What’s your name and what’s your favorite pet?

• Jack. You say pet?

• Yeah.

• Dog.

• Okay, there we go.

• All right, die or a quarter.

• Ah, die.

• Even or odds.

• Odds.

• He said odds.

• Ah!

• Check out that line, dude.

• Hey.

• Okay, you doing dice or quarters?

• Dice.

• And what’s your name?

• Adam.

• And

your favorite state?

• North Carolina.

• There we go.

• Ah!

• I’m gonna tell everybody who do dice

to do even.

• He subscribes,

so we’re just gonna.

• Oh my goodness,

thank you, guys.

• Favorite color?

• Red.

• All right,

there we go. You’re wearing a green shirt, but.

• Yeah, I know.

Says even.

• Let’s do it.

• All right, you wanna do double nothing?

• Nah, I just take 200.

• Thanks for playing.

• There you go.

That’s all for you, bro.

• You’re the best.

You are the best!

Hey, the man!

• I appreciate that so much.

• Even or odd?

• Even.

Oh, no!

Okay.

• Even or odd?

• Even.

Dang!

• Well, we don’t want anyone to

leave empty handed.

• Oh my.

• Dropped it for you.

• Thank you so much.

• Like the video.

Give it a thumbs up!

• Just put it right.

• Y’all lose this money?

• I don’t know.

• It looks real.

• Somebody have this camera?

Is this your camera?

• You found it.

• I’m not stealing it.

• Finders keepers.

• Is that your camera right here?

• No, ain’t know this mine, but it’s real.

• Thank you.

• Yes, ma’am.

• Right there, this pays for itself.

If you buy this, it pays for itself.

What is this right here?

• He needs a $120.

• Yeah.

• What ink are you looking for?

• So I have the 61.

• Uh-huh.

• Well, I personally like the 62.

So try that one.

Just pick the ink.

That’s my favorite ink.

What? That comes with the ink.

It’s a new promotion.

They’re giving it away for free.

• Are you Pewdiepie?

• Yeah, I am.

• Can we take a picture real quick?

• Heck, yeah man.

Dude, let’s take one.

• Can I put it on my Snapchat?

• Heck, yeah.

• Wait, let me flip it around.

• Dude, come on. I’m famous.

• You do this all the.

• I know. There you go.

• Thanks, man.

• Yeah.

• Appreciate it.

• Thanks, man.

Yeah, they’re giving it away for free, right.