Video

Transcript

- So, I saw this video in my suggested.

It was about Ultra-Ever Dry

which is apparently as good at repelling water

as I am women.

Look at how water just runs off this paper

and how this tissue,

which I remind you should be absorbing the water,

is instead playing God.

Instantly a million questions flood in my mind.

Like what happens if you put this

on a boat and put the boat in water?

Or, can I put this on my feet and walk on water?

These were just things I needed to know.

So, I went to Amazon and I bought a couple gallons

of this stuff and this was the result.

So, like any logical person,

the first question I needed answered was

if I spray this stuff on my underwear

can I just pee in them all the time and it stay dry?

Chris, some of my pee’s still on the underwear.

• You’ve got some pretty thick pee.

• What do we do?

Hey, it never happened.

Yeah, I don’t think we sprayed both sides.

• Look at that.

• Next, I wanted to test a clip

EverDry had in their video.

• This shirt is covered in EverDry.

This designer Supreme shirt isn’t.

• Ugh.

Thanks.

• Wait, no, they only did the front of his shirt.

Not the back.

I’m super disgusting.

Come up here.

• I have grass in me.

Why do I have grass in me?

You can see a clear difference.

This is the front.

So, it’s got the water drops on, but they’ll come off.

And then this is the back.

Look at my tie though.

My tie’s spot on, here.

We’ll just dunk the whole tie.

That actually is pretty cool

• Splash back ‘cause I think my mouth was open.

Paper towel covered iEverDry versus ketchup.

It’s not working like it did in the video.

I don’t know what demonic crap they’re doing,

but my ever drive must be broke.

Now, if you guys have ever used a paper towel before,

now, if you guys have ever used to pay for towel before,

not quite sure why I thought some

of you have never used a paper towel before.

Of course, they’ve fucking used a paper towel before.

You know it absorbs water.

Look at this.

It’s not absorbing water.

You can throw it.

This is a roll of paper towels.

Wow, it’s actually not really that wet.

Waterproofing my underwear worked so well that when I pee

in the middle of the night, it just runs up my bedsheets.

So, of course, now we have to waterproof my bedsheets.

In this clip, we covered a cotton ball and EverDry

and I think Chris summed it up perfectly.

• That one’s pretty cool.

• We then took a bagel, which oddly enough

looks like a butthole and waterproofed it.

• I feel like a bagel

would be kind of waterproof anyway.

• Yeah.

Afterwards we waterproof a wallet

and I just realized leather is waterproof,

so that was unnecessary.

Chris, you’re fired.

I wanna dump this cinder block in this water,

but it’s really heavy.

• You rang?

• Yeah, that was my viking call.

Hey, can you dip this in the water tank for me?

It’s like, it’s really heavy, but you’re like a big boy.

Ah!

Now we lift it out.

And look, that’s the part with EverDry.

That’s the part without it.

• Hm.
• All right, Mr. Viking,

you can go.

• Okay.
• Remember guys,

if you ever need a Viking, just go…

Then we waterproofed my merch because apparently

I haven’t plugged it in the last five videos and yeah,

not plugging your merch equals no sales.

Yeah, that’s been pretty rough.

• Did you miss?

• Hey, it worked.

• That’s where the EverDry is and look at it

just running down and not sticking like it is.

Holy crap, the EverDry comes all the way back here.

• Yeah.

• Jake, you got it on as Yeezys.

• No, did I really?

• Yeah.

• This is like the fifth time you’ve hit me with an egg.

• Keep going, oh my God.

• Oh.

• I don’t think the EverDry’s working

on the side of the van.

• Here, let me try.

I missed.

• The EverDry’s over there.

• Oh, it’s where?

• It’s in the back of the van.

• Oh, okay.

Ah, crap, I missed again.

• See right there?

• Oh.

• It’s not right there.

• Okay.

• It’s not right there.

• Okay, okay.

• It’s more like right there.

• Gotcha.

• And you were throwing like right there.

• Gotcha, gotcha.

So, I shouldn’t be throwing right there.

Be throwing right here, right?

• Yeah.

Ah, crap, I got my pants wet.

Here, chris, can you give me that towel?

• You should have waterproofed your pants, man.

• Yeah, I know.

Wait a minute.

This towel’s waterproof.

How am I supposed to clean my pants,

but when the towel’s waterproof?

It doesn’t do anything.

Look, water just bounces off.

Well, I guess my pants will forever be wet

‘cause every towel here is waterproof.

• I don’t think your hands waterproof either.

Your hand got more wet than the towel.

• Oh yeah, look at that.

Non-waterproof, look at that crappy hand.

There’s nothing good about this hand at all.

• In that clip, we were talking about Chris’s hand

which clearly meant we were about to start talking

about him moisturizing.

And now I’m sitting here listening

to two grown men talking about Chris moisturizing.

And I’m just wondering where I went wrong with life.

So, in EverDry’s official video

they did this thing where they outlined their logo

in EverDry and then shot paint at it

and it looked really cool.

So, I thought I’d redo it

in my office by spelling out shop MrBeast on the wall.

• Hey look, it worked.
• No, Chris, it didn’t work.

Not quite sure what the fuck you’re looking at.

We then made the big mistake of giving two man childs paint

and a hot dog.

• Flying wiener.

Stop playing “Fortnite.”

We have to make videos.

• Dude, every YouTuber makes “Fortnite” videos.

Just gimme a couple months to get good

and we’ll be fine, way easier.

Way easier than what we currently do.

• I’m sick of it, dude.

You know what?

• I just wanna

be like every YouTuber.

Yeah, I knew you would do that.

That’s why I waterproofed my keyboard.

Watch this.

• It’s still like pretty **** up.

• Well darn, I guess I can’t play anymore “Fortnite.”

• Now we have to go…

• All right, I guess I’ll make videos.

I know a lot of you guys out there are atheists

and for all of you atheists, please explain this.

This is how a paper normally reacts

when it’s hit with water.

Pretty stereotypical.

Now, watch this.

If it’s a piece of paper

with PewDiePie on it, look how it reacts.

It just bounces right off of him.

So atheist out there, explain that.

• Hm.
• Explain it!

It’s like it never happened.

This is how a burrito normally reacts to water.

As you can see, it’s just, yeah.

See, this is a terrible burrito.

This is how a Chipotle burrito reacts to water.

• It’s kind of the same.

• We waterproofed this right, guys?

Why, does waterproofing not work on burritos?

Now we have burrito on the floor.

• There’s so much rice everywhere.

• They ask you how you are

and you just have to say that you’re fine.

And you’re not really fine, but you just can’t get

into it because they would never understand.

• A lot of you guys are really young.

So, here’s a recommendation

for all you parents watching with your young kids.

See, instead of changing their diapers all the time,

just waterproof them and you can just use

the same diaper forever.

• Nice.

• Chris, my work gloves are kind of dry,

will you moisturize them for me?

• I’m a moisturizing expert.

• Yeah?

• Here we go.

• Okay, all right.

• There you go.

• Chris, the moisture, it just falls off.

It appears my gloves are waterproof

which means they’re moisture proof.

What do we do?

• Moisturize the stress away.

• Give it to me, boss.

• Here.

• My gloves are still waterproof.

• My hands are covered in moisturizer.

• But mine aren’t.

• I’m super moisturized.

• But I’m not, oh.

All right, that was dumb.

We then proceeded to torture Alexa by dipping her

in water as punishment for not reordering my wet wipes.

Oh, whoa!

• Yeah, all right, let’s see how long it stays on.

• Wait, Alexa’s waterproof?

• No.

• Oh God.

This is not a good idea.

• That’s pretty cool.

Dude.

Alexa, don’t give up.

Bro.

• There’s a reason Jeff Bezos

is the richest man in the world.

• Yeah.
• Google Home

on the other hand was listening to a conversation

I had one time in my living room

and now I’m on the FBI watch list.

So, take this, Google Home.

• So, this one literally will not come on.

If we unplug it, plug this back in, watch it, wait for it.

• Up next, we have a metaphor for you guys.

These boots are the Beast Gang Paulers.

And this water is the haters.

The haters, they just brushed right off.

The haters can’t touch us, Beast Gang Paulers.

We just dab all over ’em.

We’re the strongest, most lit-est family on the internet.

We look at that.

The haters are trying to touch us, bullock.

Even when the haters pile up, we just do that.

Boom, they’re gone.

• [ Those boots really don’t

like Mountain Dew, do they?

• Nope.

Oh gosh.

While we have this sacrifice going,

I think it’s time we replace our memes.

• Let’s replace our memes.

Hiro.

• Let’s burn

our old memes.

Donating to attractive Twitch streamers.

It’s saying I was milking it.

Am I gonna die?

• Memes are fun to burn.

Oh.

• Yeah.

Our second meme that must be burnt is PewDiePie.

• It says meme review in Japanese.

• Be gone, PewDiePie.

• It’s smokey in here.

• I know, is our fire alarm gonna, oh wait,

we don’t have one.

• We disabled our fire alarm

‘cause we do so many indoor videos.

• Record it.
• Our next meme is,

is this good content?

We all know it’s good content.

Let’s put the fire right on PewDiePie’s face.

Adding ’nt a word doesn’t make it funny.

PewDiePie reviewed it which means now the meme’s dead.

So, this one really has to burn.

Trying not to breathe and die.

See, look guys, this tissue is waterproof.

• Look at that.

• We’re gonna use the waterproof tissue to put out the fire.

Oh, take that fire.

Okay, hand it to me.

Sorry, I’m not trying to die.

• Well this went from a normal video

to let’s burn stuff indoors and yeah.

• The moment you’ve all been waiting for.

We put water repellent on the bottom

of these Dundee flip flops.

Millions of years of evolution have led us to this.

Will water repellent on my feet allow me to walk on water?

Aw.

• Maybe you should walk out a little further.

Maybe it just needs to take-

• Maybe, yeah.

Oh God, I’m losing my foot.

Where’d it go?

Oh God.

Okay, all right.

Well I lost my flip flop.

Oh I lost that one.

All right.

Well I’m just gonna walk in defeat.

• Ha ha, da feet.

♪ MrBeast oh ♪

♪ MrBeast oh ♪

♪ MrBeast oh ♪