Aware & Aggravated - 40. Hookup Culture

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Alright, let’s do this shit cuz I’m anxious. I’m giving anxiety and if I don’t just start talking

I’m gonna freak myself the fuck out. But hi, you can see me. Hi friends

This is our first video podcast. And of course, it’s gonna be about fucking this is gonna be hookup culture

Everything you need to know about it

I got some shit to break down and I have some things to tell you

About one how to protect your relationship with yourself and two how to mentally prepare yourself if you’re gonna be fucking around

Cuz it’s all fun and games till you get your feelings hurt. Trust me. I know I went through it recently and I’m fucking upset

Okay, let’s just jump into this. So I hate to say it but it does not matter how

Prepared you are

Casual sex and hooking up will fuck with you at some point. So first, let’s talk about the physical needs of a human being

We’re all biologically made to fuck. Maybe I should say procreate instead of fuck like that’s abrasive

You know, we’re all like made and wired to have sex engage in intercourse

But one thing I have to make very clear is there are people who are run by their sexual desires and people who are not

But I am just gonna tell you this straight up

Just because you feel the urge to have sex does not mean you have to have sex

You’re not gonna die if you don’t have sex promise

I know that’s like a hard pill to swallow bitch

But like you’re in control and it’s your choice to act on your urges or not

But you can’t deny the fact that we do have

the biological urge to have sex and hook up with people and we want to like touch people and be close and feel affectionate like

We all have that we all that’s normal for all of us, but I have to make it very clear

You’re not gonna fucking die if you don’t have sex

So just remember that you have the urge but it’s your choice to act on it

It’s not like drinking water. Like if you don’t drink water, you’re fucked bitch. You’re gonna die. You’re gonna do that

So let’s jump into hooking up and why it feels good and then we’re gonna get into why it feels bad

So hooking up and having sex it feels so fucking good physically because you got all the endorphins running through you like duh

That’s expected like you’re touching another human being skin-to-skin contact releases that shit

And then you’d be having sex too and you touched a little bits and parts of you that makes it feel good

Yeah, you’re gonna have an endorphin release

It’s gonna feel really good

But a lot of people fail to realize a reason that sex feels so good is because of the emotional stimulation you get to you

Feel validated you feel wanted you feel attractive like you feel desired

Someone wants you someone wants to bring you close to them and you feel valued you feel like worthy like it’s a good validation

Of like feeling good about yourself and then you add on top the physical feelings you get like bitch

It’s great

But it explains why

So many people are slutty and like the typical thing with people who are like slutty as fuck

A lot of people get a bad rap and like people like to talk shit on people for getting around

But they fail to take into consideration

What’s going on emotionally because people that are slutty don’t just fuck just to fuck the physical

Sensations of it are not enough to run you and not enough to sway you and make you binge your boundaries and fuck people that

You wouldn’t want to fuck. It’s the emotional side that will do that

It’s the emotional side that will get you out of fucking character and fuck you up

So I don’t want y’all looking at whores and like slutty people like they’re just oh, they’re just so run

But they just want to go fuck. It’s more than that

Everything in my podcast you’ll understand everything is more than it seems

So that’s one that I want to clear up. You also have to take into consideration with people that are very sexual

sex and being

objectified and sexualized

Might have been someone’s only reflection of value for a long time

So they might only feel useful and feel valuable and feel good about their self when they’re being pursued or having sex with someone

So you have to remove your judgment so fucking hard because a lot of people that are sexualized from a young age

That’s what they’re reflected and a lot of the gay community

Everybody it’s just like what can you provide for me sexually?

Everybody’s looked at as a sexual object and all people all human beings like we want to feel valued

We want to feel good. And if that’s how it was reflected to somebody that’s how they were taught to see it

They see their value and their ability to have sex and to be sexual

So like I said

It’s a lot more emotional than people realize and also people that have experienced this and had their value only or mainly

Reflected through sex and sexual acts that is their reassurance

So anytime they doubt their self anytime they feel low self-esteem. They feel ugly. They feel like not valuable

They feel like undesirable

Their way of having it validated is through sex

So when they need reassurance when they need comfort when they need to feel validated

They resort back to how they know that they get it and it’s all gonna be subconscious

So anytime someone gets insecure or down or whatever it is

If this is what they kind of grew up with

They’re gonna resort to sex because that’s gonna alleviate the insecurity they feel

So getting to have sex with someone or feeling pursued or feeling wanted by someone is their validation that they have worth and they are

Valuable so don’t judge fucking whores. All right, don’t judge. No slut

It’s actually really sad when you think about it, but we are gonna get way more in-depth with that

Okay, I’m not encouraging you to go out and be a whore. I’m just letting the whores know. I understand you, babe

I’ve been there. Everyone has a little hoe face

Everybody gets trapped in this cycle until you break it

But I want you to know that it’s understandable why you do what you do

You might not understand why you feel like you can’t control your sexual urges

But there’s a lot more at play than you realize and we’re gonna get into more details

Okay, so we talked about how all human beings have like the physical needs we need met great

But we also have the emotional side of it. Every single human being is wired for connection

We are all wired to need each other and to want each other like you can’t avoid that

Like you want to feel valued you need other people to reflect it to you

I don’t want to say you need it

but motherfucker like I tried to reflect myself my body for my whole life and it like

Wasn’t as nice as when other people fucking do it

It’s like when my therapist used to tell me Leo

You don’t need compliments from other people and I’m like, I know bitch, but I want them. They’re nice. They feel good

You can’t not want it

Like it’s just nice to have your value reflected by others and to feel cared about by others

But a lot of this fill-your-own-cup bullshit fails to take into consideration

We all have physical needs as human beings and we need each other like you can’t avoid that

But with all this being said we all as human beings have the desire to feel close to other people

That’s our main fucking thing. Every single one of us feels it you can’t avoid it

so everybody wants closeness, but a lot of people are unsure of how to get it and how to feel it and

When you want closeness with someone you want to feel connected you want to feel valued and you don’t get that or you don’t have

That that is painful

it’s literally painful as fuck to not feel valued to not feel wanted and

To feel isolated like you want to be around people you want to be connected to people

Being connected to people is a reflection of value because people want you in their life when they value you when they care about you

So if you have no one in your life, there’s no constant reflection of that to you. So everybody wants closeness

But if you look at society

Everybody is running around

Scared shitless of other people like everybody’s so scared to get hurt

Everybody’s got this need for closeness, but everybody keeps people at arm’s length. Like I don’t want you to get to know me

I don’t want to let you in on my internal world

Which is required for true connection to feel connected to people like you have to open yourself up and truly connect

But everybody’s so scared to get deep

Everybody’s so scared to reveal who they truly are what they truly feel what they truly want

So everybody’s running around with this desire of like I want to feel close to people

But they’re pushing everybody away because they’re scared to be hurt

So if you look at sex or casual hookups or just hooking up with people you get that

Fix like you get to feel connected to someone without the risk of emotionally being hurt

Like you physically get to feel close to someone for a minute. You feel like someone’s there you get to feel valued

You get to feel cared about all the good things about you are reflected the fact that you’re useful. You’re valuable

You’re desired you’re wanted you’re attractive like all of that is reflected to you

So you get your fix of feeling good about yourself and then you get your fix of feeling connected to somebody

You get to hang out you get to hook up you get to feel close

you get to touch another human being you get the endorphins from skin-to-skin contact and like fucking and

Then you get to leave and there’s no risk of you being hurt because you didn’t open up emotionally

But you shortcutted that needs you have of feeling close to someone

It really makes so much sense when you understand that like why our society is the way it is and why hookup culture is so prevalent

Everybody’s a chicken shit and everybody like wants to avoid being hurt

But we all have that need for genuine like closeness and connection to people

We want to feel close to them, but nobody’s willing to open up to do what it actually takes to feel that

So everybody’s just settling for the superficial a lot of people don’t understand how to feel close to people

So they don’t even know that you have to open up to the level that you do and also with opening up

That’s scary as fuck to open up to somebody and let them in on your internal world

It’s like literally opening your chest up and allowing someone to like see in that’s fucking terrifying

Like if someone can see the way you truly feel what you truly want what you desire what you don’t like and like the pain

You’re in that’s scary as fuck because you’re opening yourself up

Basically for someone to do whatever they want to you

They can choose to care about you and love you or they can fuck your shit up and manipulate you. It’s 50-50

So I understand why everybody’s so scared. I’m scared too

I feel the same things as you guys and that’s one thing you have to realize

I know as much as I do, but I still have to navigate physical life feeling everything that you feel. I’m not different from you

I’m the same as every single one of you and that’s why I get it to the extent that I do

like a lot of spiritual people and a lot of like

Leaders and teachers and people that like talk about shit that I do they act like they’re completely void of the human experience

But I want to let you know

Everyone experiences it everybody feels it some people ignore it and some people don’t I’m very in touch with it

And it hurts my feelings all the time

And while I’m on the topic of spiritual shit and like people online

Let me just go ahead and acknowledge everybody is posting about you need to be careful with sex and it’s an energetic exchange

You’ll take people’s trauma on if you have sex with them. Shut the fuck up an

Energetic exchange with someone is the least that you motherfuckers worries. All right

You need to be worried about catching the fucking STD

You need to be worried about getting pregnant by somebody you want to go fucking pregnant by you don’t need to be worrying about energetic

Exchange cool it bitch get a crystal and go shove it

All right

Leave everybody alone trying to scare everybody with the energetic exchange shit

It is an energetic exchange when you do have sex with someone or you hook up with someone

But it’s not this fucking drastic thing where you’re just gonna like transfer their trauma onto you like you’re okay


so now that we’ve acknowledged that sex is a

Shortcut to get to the feeling state that you want and to like alleviate that pain that you’re in

This is where I mean hookups won’t feel good for long

So when you’re having the urge to hook up with somebody it will overwhelm you because it’s not just like the physical need

You’re just gonna feel intensely horny and be like, oh my god. I want to go fuck but like I said, it’s more than that

It’s the emotional shit, too

So all you’re gonna be doing is you’re gonna be wrapped up in this feeling state of like, oh my god

Like you just feel like you want to have sex you want to hook up with somebody you want to like touch somebody like I love

Affection like I love it. Like just let me touch you. Let me just

You know what? I mean? Like I love a hug bitch. I’ve been needing a hug

Okay, the shit I go through I need a fucking hug like all the time

But that urge you feel to hook up with someone it’s gonna be very strong

Until you go through with it

So you’re gonna have that really strong urge to hook up with someone you’re gonna get that emotional need met

You’re gonna get the physical need met and then all of a sudden that intense urge is gone

Your distraction is gone because that urge is distracting you from what you actually want

it’s the way that you know, you can get kind of like relief from what you’re feeling, but

When that distraction is gone

You’re left with the truth of what you truly want which is to feel connected and close to people like the more aware you get

The more empty you’re gonna realize casual sex is like I’m so upset and pissed off that I fucking realized all this because I can’t

Just fuck no more like I’m upset every time

But this is the cycle a lot of people get trapped in

Like they know a way to alleviate the way that they’re feeling so they go hook up and have sex and then they end up feeling

The exact same void because it’s not the actual closeness. They were after it’s not the actual consistent validation that they want

So they keep resorting back to what is known

They keep having these urges and just going for it

Like they want to feel close to people and it will come out and it’s like they just keep acting on it and they keep

Going in the cycle and a lot of people will get stuck

It’s like using drugs when you’re trying to chase the high it’s not gonna work

sometimes you’re gonna keep doing more and more and more of it and then you’re gonna either have to switch to a new drug or

Fucking sit down one day and be like what the fuck am I doing?

Like after you fucked 500 people and you still feel the same way you feel ten times worse

You have no self-esteem your fucking relationship with yourself is ash

You probably got a STD by now and now you’re over here like now what the fuck I’m finna do

Like you have to get to that point to break the cycle, but a lot of people don’t understand. It’s a cycle

That’s why I wanted to talk about this in this episode

but just understanding that

Sex is the painkiller to the emotional void

You’re feeling is your name like you just that’s your step one

The awareness is gonna set you free from it because you’re no longer gonna go into sex with the expectation of oh my god

It’s gonna cure me and then when it doesn’t and you still feel the same way after the excitement is gone

The distraction is gone. You’re not gonna think anything’s gone wrong and it’s not gonna send you into a panic of like

Oh my god, I have to keep trying I have to go

It’s like you’re looking for the next thing when you just got to stop for a second

But this is gonna help you release the expectation around it

And one thing I do want to say is

It’s okay to hook up with people like hooking up is fine

If you want to go have like meaningless sex and just casual sex, that’s fine

Like tap into it do it

But I wanted to share some things in this episode to help protect you mentally if you’re gonna do that

Like it’s fine to do it

But just don’t expect more than what you’re gonna get out of it

Like if we’re gonna go into it for the physical needs understand

It’s for like the emotional needs a little bit and then the physical needs too

But keep on your hunt for the genuine connection, but when you are hooking up with someone casually

Human beings naturally want progression

So when you first meet somebody if it’s gonna be a hookup you get excited it’s new it’s fun. It’s oh my god

It’s a new person. It’s a new thing. It’s a new place of validation

It’s a new place to like get your a physical affection need like it’s exciting. It’s fun

you hook up a couple of times and then it gets kind of like

Boring you’re like what else like what next you know what I mean?

That’s at least how I get but I get bored with people quick because I realize like the excitement swore off

it’s nothing new anymore and

like I said humans want progression like we don’t like the same shit like we like for things to get deeper and progress and move

forward and

When the most you’re gonna get out of a situation is just sexual acts. It’s like

And like you get bored of it because if all you’re doing when you’re hanging out is fucking and like cuddling a little bit


Like to cuddle after I like to fuck like I’m in love cuddle for a minute and then leave peace out

Like that’s just the way that I do it

But if you’re only having sex with someone that’s the only way you’re kind of getting to know them

You’re not getting to know them as a person your closeness with them is not developing

Like all you have is that superficial sexual encounter that you guys have and it’s like you’re gonna get bored by it

You’re gonna get bored with it and one day

I’m gonna go ahead and warn you because I do this every time

the moment when you’re laying in bed next to somebody you’ve hooked up with and you’ve hooked up with them a couple of times and

you’re sitting there looking at the ceiling and

you’re like I

Don’t fucking know this person. I

Used to have that shit happen all the time. I’m like, I don’t know who you are

Like I know you sexually but like I don’t know who you are as a person

For a shit like even the little conversations you have like before and after sex. It’s like cute fun

It’s like superficial shit, but you’re gonna hit a point where the sex is no longer exciting. There’s no real way to like

Bring that excitement back because it’s known now like you’ve done it you’ve had it and there’s no development

With the friendship relationship, whatever it’s gonna be

It’s like it’s just the sexual shit and you realize you don’t even know this person

but your brains automatically gonna be looking for more and that’s where you hit that realization because you’re gonna want progress and there fucking is

None if all you’re gonna do is hook up with somebody. That’s another reason why people bounce around so much

Okay, I have one more point

I want to hit on about hooking up with somebody and why it feels good and then I’m gonna get into

How casual sex can fuck you up and like you allowing people to have access to you?

we’re gonna get into that in a second, but

With hooking up with someone and getting that feeling of closeness with them

like when you’re hooking up if you’re in pain emotionally and

You get to go be with another person

It’s so much better to be in pain around someone else than alone

like when I go through a lot of shit emotionally, I’ll feel the urge to like go hook up with someone and

I’ve realized like it’s because I’m dealing with shit inside and I’m in pain

But I don’t have to tell the person that I’m dealing with shit, but just being with someone

Makes it feel better for some reason like to have their presence while you’re upset or while you’re hurting

Just their presence feels better. Like someone just being with you when you’re in pain feels better

So that’s another reason a lot of people will hook up without realizing it

It’s because it’s just to have someone’s presence in someone’s company while you’re going through shit

It alleviates a lot like it just feels lighter and you just feel comforted

Like the person that you’re hooking up with might not even know they might not even be comforting you

They might not even be saying shit about that

But just being with someone or like being able to touch someone it’s very very comforting when you’re in pain

So that is another need being met

you know because I began the loneliest when I’m the saddest and then my dick all of a sudden wants to be like

I’m lonely too like bitch. I know that you’re not you’re not you’re fine

I played with you earlier what you’re really fucking after is to not feel alone in your pain and I get it

Thank you for looking out for me

But that’s another thing that happens a lot of the time people aren’t aware of

All right

Now let’s get into where casual sex is gonna fuck you up and ruin your self-esteem

Cuz me too bitch everything I talk about my podcast cuz I’ve been through it bitch like you’re not qualified to speak on something if you

Ain’t fucking been through it or you don’t have like direct experience with it. So that’s how I’d be knowing so many things

I’d be going through so many things

but a big thing to get about hooking up with someone is

If you’re just gonna use someone to meet your physical need of like, okay, I’m just gonna hook up with you

We’re just gonna like have sex or whatever it is. You can’t objectify somebody

Without doing the same to yourself

You can’t treat someone like they’re disposable without that being reflected right back at you because that’s the only thing they’re reflecting to you is

You’re just good for that. So basically you can’t devalue someone or

Select what value you see in someone and like only being like you’re only valuable for this without sending that same message to yourself

And the next thing is allowing people access to you for the bare fucking minimum

Like if you meet up with someone and you hook up with someone just based off of what you like about them physically

That is the bare minimum of what someone could have to have access to you

like it’s kind of

disrespectful to yourself where it’s like your list of

Requirements for what you have to meet to be able to get access to me and like fuck with me

It’s like it’s just this you just have to like be cute and

Know how to fuck

But to do that is not treating yourself like you’re valuable

Like you’re just allowing anyone that has a nice dick a nice vagina or a nice body

To have access to you like there’s so much more to human beings

We are animals, but we’re not just like animals that are like what I don’t know the fucking terminology

I don’t know science bitch. Like I don’t know. I don’t even try and say it. Don’t even you gonna sound stupid as shit

But our whole focus is not just procreation like other animals like it’s not just like who has the best features to fuck and then

Keep going

We’re a more developed species than that

Like you can’t just let someone have access to you just because they know how to fuck or they have a nice dick or they

Have a nice body or they’re cute. That’s not enough like requirement

That’s not enough like value to be able to cross that threshold to have access to you like

Because that’s basically telling yourself anyone can have access to you if they have this or that thing

That’s not like a good message to send yourself when you screen people and you evaluate who they are as a person

Before they get access to you. That’s being protective of yourself

That’s how you treat something you value is when you’re gonna check before I let you have access to me. Are you worth it?

Are you safe? Is this a good idea like you have to act protective of yourself?

And that’s how you show yourself that you have value like if you truly care about yourself and you value yourself

That’s how you behave

You’re not just gonna let anyone fuck you and with that like just fucking with someone based off of the physical attributes they have

You’re not requiring someone to see anything else valuable about you to get you like you’re not making them

see other ways you’re useful to them or

Worth a fuck like you’re just allowing them in like you’re not making them appreciate you or see anything else

You’re just like here’s access like valuable things are not easily accessed

So don’t treat yourself that way and I’m not saying don’t have sex and like banish it off like some fucking prude

I’m saying you need to be more calculated with who you allow to come in and get near you like that

You know make people be of caliber to access you like not everybody can have a Birkin

Why do I always bring up a fucking burger?

It just flies out of my mouth

But like not everybody can have a fucking Birkin

Like you need to be the same way with your coochie cat or your dick like you need to just have that

Mentality of like not everybody can access it and what’s gonna happen a lot of people think like if they put

Requirements on their self to have access to them people are not gonna want them

but the opposite happens when people perceive things as more valuable and

Harder to get they’re gonna want it more. So don’t be scared

You’re gonna not have anyone to come to you people are gonna be trying to come to you

You’re just gonna be weeding them the fuck out like oh, you know, I mean I get your little wee whacker fucking get him out

It’s about to start raining. God damn it

Okay, one thing the lighting is like shifting but don’t worry cuz next week’s episode I bought big like lighting

But it just couldn’t get delivered in time. So I’m trying to use sunlight and God wants to fuck with me

So we’re just gonna have to hang tight for this one deal with a little shadow on my face

But next week is gonna be perfect

so the next thing about

Requirements for people to access you a lot of the times if you’re just hooking up with someone

You don’t require them to take your feelings into consideration

You’d hope for it

But it’s not a requirement to get access to you as my thing like you hope that they care about the way that you feel

You hope that they think of you and they’re thoughtful and courteous and considerate of you

But what I’m saying is that should be a fucking requirement if someone’s gonna fuck you

But allowing someone to discard you and the way that you feel and still allowing them access to you sends you a very negative message

Like to not make anyone care take any part of you. That’s not fair to do to yourself

Like you don’t have to take care of me

You don’t have to take into consideration anything about me besides sexually like that’s not good to do for your relationship with yourself

okay, so the next thing I want to hit on about hookup culture is

How it’s gonna make you feel like fucking shit about yourself and make you feel worse than ever


When you go to hook up with someone and your intentions are just to like have sex

What someone is focused on is their physical need so they’re like, okay

I want my dick wet. I want my dick played with all they’re evaluating you for is can you do it?

Are you pretty enough to play with it? Like that’s all that they’re seeing about you

They put their blinders on for the need that they have they’re looking at the need of sex. Can you meet that need great?

They’re not looking at any other value. You can contribute them

They’re not looking at how you’re a good person or how you have a good heart or how you could care about them or how

You could be a good boyfriend or girlfriend or the they them friend

I don’t know what the fuck to call that but like they’re not looking to reflect you or even see or notice anything else

valuable about you besides

What will meet their need so they’re screening you they’re assessing. Can you meet this need for me?

Okay, great

Then they’re gonna fuck you

But they’re not gonna reflect you any other value besides sex and a lot of people go into hookups thinking

Oh my god, like I’m such a good person. I’m so great. Like I’m better than them. Like I just settle my standards

They’re gonna want me and then they don’t want you

They’re not looking for how you could be a good girlfriend boyfriend, whatever

Like I said, they’re not trying to evaluate anything else about you besides

Can you meet the physical need that I have which is to fuck?

That’s what they’re looking at

but that will make you second-guess yourself and if you go through that enough of like

Going and just hooking up with people and then no one tries to take things further or nobody like wants anything more

You’re gonna start a question yourself a second guess like am I like worthless like what the fuck is going on?

Why does nobody want me?

But nobody’s looking at you when you approach them for the standpoint of just sex or you entertain that conversation

They’re not looking at anything about you other than your ability to have sex and your sex appeal

They’re not looking for your emotional intelligence. They’re not looking for your smarts. They’re not looking for your heart

So they’re not gonna reflect you any of that. I hope you can’t hear the thunder mother nature. Leave me alone

God and mother nature not fucking with me both at the same time. Oh, just let me talk to everybody about sex

My god and recently I was hooking up with someone that I met like real organically

It was weird like I don’t play on none of the apps and shit, but I met someone organically

I was trying to manifest the friends of benefit

Like I was in my journal every night writing a little friends of benefit

I want to manifest that and I did and then we hooked up a few times and this is where I’m saying all this shit

Like kind of came out like it was already in the back of my head

But this situation I just went through made all this very fucking obvious

So that’s why I made a full list and I was like, let’s talk about it

but the main thing that like put me the fuck off was I

Got a text like late at night one night and he was like, what are you doing? I’m horny and

It like pissed me off like I got physically like pissed but like under anger is hurt

So I was like, okay

What am I actually like upset about like what’s actually bothering me with this and I was so sad

by that text because I’m like

You only text me to hook up and I’m just like I have so much more to offer and

the least interesting thing about me is

The my ability to have sex like I’m so much more deep than that. I’m so I have so much more to offer

I have so much more value and you don’t even care and

I’ve like kind of like drifted off and like I’m not really like engaging with it anymore

Just because it made me feel like shit

Like I said, once you hit a certain level of awareness like it’s not gonna feel good to hook up anymore

Like receiving texts like that and only having my physical

Like attributes and like my ability to have sex which every human being has you’re not special because you can fuck

You might be special for how you could fuck you can develop the skills, but the ability to fuck is in all of us. So

Just someone like reflecting that to me and like being interested for that. I was like so put off by it like

You don’t see what else is in front of you

Alright, and I’m like I’m over it like I’m done with it cuz like I’m down for like I like the progression of things

Like I talked about before I want to see progression. I want to get to know you more

I want to get to know you better. I don’t know dude

Like I got to know him and like he was cool

But it wasn’t I like to get to know people like if I’m gonna give someone access to me

Like I’m not gonna give it to a stranger like I have to assess if you’re worth like bringing next to me and bringing close

To me like that cuz sex is bringing someone close to you like they’re being intimate with you

That’s a certain level of closeness and I’m like for you to get that. I need more

I need a lot more than just what I thought and this situation revealed that to me and I feel a lot better now that

I’ve decided I’m done with hookups like the next person I’m gonna have sex with me what run in my fucking mouth

Let me drink too much tequila and I’m gonna be fucking

But I really don’t like get around. I haven’t like slept with a lot of people like recently like I just don’t like that

I’m very protective of myself now because I see for the first time the value in me

And when people don’t see that it makes me turned off when people can’t properly appreciate me

I’m like, I’m like you like I’m ready to discard them because

People appreciate what they recognize because it’s in them

So it’s kind of letting me know you don’t see what’s in front of you because you don’t possess it

Also, that might just be me losing my fucking mind and trying to feel better because I do be playing eagle games

But yeah, just getting that text did not make me feel good

So I was like I’m not subjecting myself to that shit anymore

Like the person that’s gonna get access to me sexually next is gonna be able to validate

See and appreciate all the shit about me. Not just my dick. Okay, my next point I want to bring up and it’s about society

Society makes it seem like it’s so cool to have hoes like you supposed to have hoes on a lot

But like everybody’s like all about having hoes and all about like having a list full of people that want to fuck them and I

just want to say

Having hoes is not a flex

It’s honestly kind of embarrassing because what you have is a list of people who want to fuck you

You don’t have a list of people who want to

Care about you and get to know you and connect with you and be close to you

They’d like to take you on a test, right?

Like sexually like I don’t look at it as a flex to have hoes

I’m honestly turned off when people entertain too many fucking people

I’m like you like that’s not cute to me because like you’re entertaining people who are only able to reflect you one type of value

I’m good. I don’t like that shit. I don’t waste time on that shit

Like I don’t entertain people like my phone is literally so fucking dry. It stays on do not disturb all the fucking time

I don’t give a shit girl. I’m busy working with me and until you can like fully appreciate me and like value me

I’m not interested and that’s that but I just wanted to talk shit real quick about everybody thinking

It’s so cool to have hoes like it’s really not like it’s actually kind of embarrassing

Did you have a lot of people that want to fuck you but not care about you?

It seems off to me

But like I said with this whole episode, I don’t want you to think that I’m like bashing hooking up

I just want you to be prepared and

Be aware of what’s going on and like what you’re feeling inside

This will be different for everybody

but like check in with the new awareness you now have if you’re gonna hook up with people and you’re still gonna do casual shit do

It get your fix. We all have physical needs. We have emotional needs like go get your fix

It’s okay. Every once in a while take a little pain pill like take your pain pill go get your fix

But now you’re prepared mentally and I want you to set standards and requirements for yourself for what it takes to access you

Don’t just go around fucking people like set requirements and screen who you allow to have access to you

Because that’s gonna send you the message that you are valuable like just

hooking up with a bunch of people doesn’t mean you don’t value yourself and

It doesn’t mean that there’s no way to build your relationship with yourself and still hook up the way to build your relationship with yourself

And feel good about hooking up is by showing yourself. You’re treating yourself as valuable

You’re screening who comes up in front of you. You have requirements for who can access you like that

That’s the way to build your self-esteem and build yourself up

But like I said about when you have that urge and you’re like fiending for it do not drop your fucking standards now

You’re aware of why your urge feels so strong. It’s the emotional shit, too

So it’s not gonna feel as strong because now you’re gonna be able to observe it. So you’re welcome

I gave you that little tidbit, but don’t drop your fucking standards

You meet my requirement or you don’t get access

Like that’s just how the fuck it’s gonna go or you will fuck your relationship up with yourself and you will not feel valuable

Okay, like you’re gonna feel like shit with hooking up

So this is the way to do like little hookups and take a little pain peel of like having sex with

Not feeling like total hell, you know

So just be smart with it and make your priority showing yourself that you’re valuable

By the way, you treat yourself

If this podcast was helpful to you and you’re watching on YouTube leave this video a thumbs up and leave a comment like leave me

Some comments. Leave me some feedback. I love hearing from you guys. Like that’s the shit that keeps me going

Like I like to have conversation. I like to talk and if you’re listening to the audio version of this

I’m on YouTube now bitch

You can watch this if you want, but leave me a five-star rating Apple podcast Spotify. Just put the little five stars

Thank you so much

But I did set up a donations page for this podcast because I’m most likely not gonna be monetized

So if you want to support the podcast if anything I’ve said has helped you and you want to donate

I’ll put the link in the description of this podcast

It’ll also be in the audio version to click the description and donations are gonna help keep this bitch commercial free because I don’t want

To have to come in here with no advertisements. Okay, I

Hate that shit when I’m listening to a podcast and they fucking just all of a sudden start talking about like teeth whitening or like

Birchbox, whatever the fuck is I like you just give the value straight to you because that’s how I like to consume it

But if you’re interested in working with me one-on-one, I do zoom calls

So if you want to book one and you want me to help you through anything you’re dealing with I’ve got you hit the link

In the description. I’ll put the scheduling link

I’ll also put all the links to my social media if you want to follow me

If you have any topics you want me to cover in future episodes

You can send me a DM on Instagram or you can comment on the YouTube video. I’m gonna look at all of it

I’d be nosy. I like to know what everybody says, but I hope this podcast help you

This is everything that I fucking know as of right now as I learn more shit. I’ll share it, but

Everybody be safe. Take care of yourself, and I will talk to you next Sunday